Reading Reviews for Conquering Weakness
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LilyLunaPotter17 Conquering Weakness

25th June 2013:
Hello! Thanks for entering my challenge, and I'm so sorry it took so long for the review -_-

Whoa. Myrtle. I don't really think about her much, but you certainly did. I love the way Tom thought she was irrelevant, calling her a "translucent halfwit" and all.

You are just ... gah. You're so good at description and imagery! As I read, I could really picture something in my mind, and I absolutely adored your description of how he made the Horcrux! I've never particularly known too much how they were made - I knew it was a spell of some sort and it hurt a lot - but your version was so brilliant, I thought it was written by J.K herself! So congratulations on such an amazing scene!

I like the way it seemed like Slytherin was watching him as he was making his Horcrux, and I especially love the line "a proud father whose sonís first step would place him on the throne of the Wizarding world". It shows how Tom really wants this power.

"Lord Voldemort was to be a great many things, but never weak". SO MANY FEELS! It's true - he never was weak (at least, not in front of his Death Eaters) - and I think that really shows his thoughts on that, and how he thought he was meant to be lots of things, but not weak (that made so much more sense in my head)

Gah, I loved this story! Well done! And again, I'm so sorry about the late review! x

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for posting such an interesting challenge! This story was great fun to write, and allowed me to stretch my comfort zones and explore a character more thoroughly than I have ever done before.

I'm so happy that you enjoyed my version of the process for making a Horcrux. I had a great time thinking it up, and I really wanted to do justice to such a complicated process that was so central to Tom's life and his conception of power.

I'm also really glad you liked Slytherin's part in the story. The figure of Salazar Slytherin is really tied up with Tom's desire for power in my head for some reason. I've always felt that as soon as he found out that he was descended from such a renowned wizard, it would have given him a sense of entitlement and really intensified his thirst to prove himself.

That line about Lord Voldemort being many things, but never weak, is my favorite one in the story; and I am so thrilled that you could connect with it! xD The fact that he was never weak in front of his Death Eaters is an excellent point, and I wanted to write about the turning point where that began, when he really felt that he had shed his weakness and become Lord Voldemort. It's awesome to see that that came through. :)

Anyway, Thank you so much for the really wonderful review, and I'm really pleased to see that you liked my story! I hope to see another challenge of your creation in the future!



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Review #2, by cypress Conquering Weakness

19th June 2013:
Hi, Warrior! Just dropping in with your first of three reward reviews! :) Congratulations again on placing third in the Five Senses Challenge.

Anyway, on to your story - I'll tell you right off the bat that the story was not what I was expecting based on how you described it. I don't know that it's really so much internal monologue as it is just a really tightly framed third-person piece. You zoom in a good bit on Tom and that's totally great! It's nice to be able to see what he's thinking. :)

I could definitely follow what was going on. I wasn't sure at first what his purpose was for being there, and I did guess who it was that was your main character based on the fact that I already knew who killed Myrtle. :P But you definitely kept me guessing for a majority of the story.

I think that it's definitely a great plot idea! I like the point in time you focused on. I think that if you're looking for ways to improve it, the best thing I would suggest is a tight zoom in on things that Tom is experiencing - seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting. The story seems to be clearly intended to follow him closely with a tight zoom in on him and his thoughts. I do like that about your story. I worry that you might be doubting yourself for going that route, though. I say just go for it! Dive in feet first and seriously, zoom in all the way. If Tom hears the soft dripping of the faucet that never quite stopped leaking, and that steals his attention for even a moment, focus in on that as if your story is Tom's attention. If he can catch a hint of iron scent in the air from the blood on his hand, describe that. If things are going on that he's too focused to notice, show us that instead. Sometimes less is more, but I think when you zoom in really really close, the more you work with the little bit of character and setting that makes it into the frame, the better. But those're just my two sickles. ;)

Otherwise, I think your story is really great. It's interesting, it's suspenseful, and the descriptions you do include are lovely. :) I hope that helps you out, and good luck with the Tom Riddle challenge! :)

Author's Response: Hey cypress!

I was a little iffy about leaving Tom's name out of the beginning of the story, but I couldn't find a way to stick it in that I was happy with, so I'm really glad that the first line was enough for you to identify him. I'm also hoping that keeping you guessing was a good thing? Haha. Anyway, it's true that I had doubts about the point of view that I chose for this story: I was actually rather out of my comfort zone writing this and even though the challenge I wrote it for is closed now, I still see some editing in its future, and that should be fairly enjoyable. :)

Your review definitely helped draw me back a few steps and give me some perspective on this story, which is exactly what I needed. I liked the ideas for additional description that you mentioned, and how purely sensory they are; something like that could definitely make the "tight zoom," in your words, less unwieldy. I'm also glad you found it interesting and liked the descriptions, of course!

By the way - when I read the words, "just my two sickles", I really did laugh out loud. ;)

Thanks again for your input!

- Warrior

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