Reading Reviews for Shattered Infinity
  
25 Reviews Found

Review #1, by maskedmuggle Marked for Destruction

12th July 2014:
Hey!

This was a really terrific story. Terrific in the sense that you really nailed Snape's perspective on things. From the first line I was instantly engrossed because it related to something we know about from canon. I thought you did a really superb job conveying Snape's feelings and emotions - it all felt so realistic and believable. I liked your choice of words such as letting us know about Snape's heart hardening and especially the very final line - that was a beautiful sentence. I just thought you did such a fantastic job showing us just how much Lily meant to him and the consequences of his action of calling Lily that. I felt like perhaps you could've shown/emphasised Snape's sense of regret a lot more as well? For only 500 words though, you did a stellar job conveying Snape's sense of loss and heartbreak.

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks again for another super-thoughtful review! Aww, terrific? Aww, stop. I'm blushing. :)

I really wanted to do Snape's perspective justice, and so I took all of the elements of his character that were the darkest and the most prevalent throughout the series and tried to put them all together. He's full of so much regret, but so much malice--like, why can't he let it go already? In the process of writing this, I sure didn't figure out the answer to that question, but I learned that although he was incredibly hung up on Lily and he vowed to protect Harry, he still wasn't a very nice person. To me, Snape is not a hero. He's just full of regret.

Ahh, yes. It's so hard to get everything in 500 words. I feel like I thought "regret regret regret" when I wrote it, but things like "malice" and "envy" and "anger" kept getting mixed in. Thank you for pointing it out. Snape could always stand to feel a little more regret. :)

Thank you! Regarding the final line: That was actually the first sentence that I thought of for this story. I thought of the sentence, and then I built a story around it. It's still one of my favorite lines out of anything I've written. :)

Thanks so much for all of your fantastic reviews!!!

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #2, by jessicalorewrites Marked for Destruction

11th July 2014:
Hey!

Well, this is a first for me. I usually steer well and truly away from Snape POVs purely because I don't like him much as a character. However, within this I think you really did manage to capture the true essence of him! You concentrated his regrets so well and just tiny little phrases like him refusing to believe Lily had had a child with James reiterate that you really do know Snape well. Continually his sorrow punctuates every other sentence in the story. His mark is a constant reminder of all that he has lost. I'm just floored by how well you managed to write this - how much detail and feeling you put in - within such a short word count. A mark of a true writer!

Congrats and well done on writing such a heavy but powerful oneshot!

xo

{House Cup 2014 Review - Gryffindor}

Author's Response: Hi!

I actually... hate Snape as well. But when I got the idea for this story, I HAD to write it. He's kind of an awful person, but he's incredibly fascinating at the same time. Thank you for giving it a chance! :D

I'm so incredibly afraid of writing canon characters in a way that is non-canon, so I tried to be very careful with Snape's characterization. It was so hard to write without bias because I knew all of the things that he did to the Potters--even back in his Hogwarts days. His mind is poisoned by the regrets of the past, and he cannot look past them to see reality. So he's quite sick inside, I think.

Thank you so, so much! Your review made me smile. :D

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #3, by Veritaserum27 Marked for Destruction

11th July 2014:
Hello!

Beautiful job with this. I think you've captured Snape perfectly. His undying devotion to Lily and his inability to see that she truly loved James. Also, you've portrayed Snapes inability to forgive. He can never forgive James for his youthful transgressions, never forgive Lily (although his love for her never fades) for loving James, and he can never forgive himself for making that one, horrid mistake with that terrible world. I really liked that you showed how that one error in judgement defined the rest of his entire life. I think that Lily's death shocked Snape, even though it was inevitable - he couldn't see that. Very nicely written! Thanks!

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Thanks for your review!

I am so afraid of writing canon characters, but I had to take a chance with Snape. He's so interesting--in my mind, he's kind of an awful person, but the circumstances in his life drove him to be that way and then he kept going beyond that. So fascinating!

Yep, Snape's Big Defining Character Trait is that he's still in love with a girl he met before he went to Hogwarts. He suffers from an obsession that blinds him from the reality: that Harry wasn't as much like James as Snape thought, and that James was kind of awful, but he had redeeming moments. And let's not forget--that Lily was never in love with him. So he won't forgive, he won't forget, and he'll keep on being obsessed.

Yep, that word was his downfall, in his mind at least. He let it define him, he let it poison his mind, and in the end, he couldn't save Lily to keep her for himself. Crazy stuff, indeed!

Thank you so much for this review! Sorry if I rambled a bit too much in my response. :)

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #4, by Pretense Of Perfection Marked for Destruction

10th July 2014:
Aw, this was a stunning accurately look at how Snape felt over the years about Lily, to me at least. His sorrow and regret are apparent throughout the story, and I think you set the tone and scene very well i the beginning with a sort of flashback to the Snape's worst memory incident. His denial over Lily marrying James and having a child with him is exactly how I picture him reacting to this news, and essentially his coping mechanism for trying to push her from his thoughts and work with a man who stands against everything she believes. You did his character a great justice, and I would literally swear this was canon if I didn't know any better. I like the physical description you give, about how his intensely negative feelings adversely effect his appearance, because it just rings true and makes the story feel very authentic. I think you ended on a very strong and powerful note, and the last sentence about all the words was my favorite.

--house cup 2014 review--
gryffindor

Author's Response: Thank you! Snape is definitely living in denial when it comes to Lily, and he lives his whole life thinking that he could've had a chance with her.

I just had to mention the Snape's worst memory incident, how could I not? :) To me, it's one of the most quinessential moments we have about Snape--the moment that he completely blew it with Lily. From that moment on, he went into Denial Mode. Lily Evans having a kid with James Potter? Nuh uh, it's not Lily's kid. It's only James's kid. That sort of thing. He's had a tough life, but he was still unreasonably awful to Harry. I couldn't let him get away with that without pointing it out.

Awww, thank you! In Snape's case, his ill will toward Harry and James made his appearance deteriorate. I would imagine that he had health problems, too, so that contributed, but the negative feelings thing is a biggie. He sort of brought it on himself in that case.

Thank you thank you thank you!! I really enjoyed reading this review. :)

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #5, by ImagineHarmony Marked for Destruction

6th July 2014:
Hello! I really love how you just perfectly portrayed Snape and his emotions and characterization were wow- I'm speechless. I think you've effectively conveyed his unrequited love for Lily and how much he wishes he could take back the word. I also love how you revolved it around words, the summary, and the final line 'All the words in their infinite combinations were not enough to save what he had lost.'

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for your review!

Speechless? I really left you speechless?! Yay! Thank you! I was horribly afraid that I wouldn't do Snape's character justice, but seeing that you liked what I did makes me very happy. :)

His love is DEFINITELY unrequited. No Snily for me! I wanted it to be realistic, and the reality is that Snape fancied Lily to the point of obsession. And she wasn't too keen on it.

Thank you! I actually built the one-shot around that last sentence--it came to me one night and I just had to write it! :D

Thanks again for your review!

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #6, by nott theodore Marked for Destruction

6th July 2014:
Hi there! I'm here reviewing for the house cup!

This was a great one-shot, especially for the every word counts challenge and in only 500 words! It was so brilliant to read about this, even though I don't like Snape all that much as a character; stories like this one help me to warm to him and explain his emotions and motives more. The way that it began with speech and ended with speech was fantastic, because it stood out that they were the only speech in the story. Snape's characterisation in this piece was fantastic as well, because I thought you captured the pain and anguish that he suffered as a result of his actions. The grief was really clear in this story. And I thought you did a good job of covering a really big time period without disrupting the flow of the story. Great job!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for your review, you reviewing ninja, you! :D

Ooh, I made you warm to Snape? Good, because I don't like him very much, either. :) I came up with a quote one night, and it seemed to fit Snape's situation, so I chose to write about him. Along the way, I began to see his side of things a little more clearly. He's one messed-up dude!

Thank you so much! Emotions are tricky, and I'm glad that you picked up on them throughout!

Thanks for your review!!!

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #7, by LightLeviosa5443 Marked for Destruction

13th January 2014:
Hi! I'm here for the BvB battle!

Oh my goodness. This story was beautiful. I honestly was hesitant when I first started reading because I figured it would be another bitter story about Snape hating James and regretting hurting Lily.

While it addressed that same topic, it was beautiful and eloquent and just so wonderfully written that when I looked up from reading it I "awe"d and said that was incredible and then insisted my friend read the story. This is probably the best 500 word one shot I've ever read. If not the best one shot I've ever read.

xoxo LL

Author's Response: Hi again!

Nope, I didn't want to focus this story solely on Snape's hatred for James and his regret about what he did to Lily. I really wanted to explore what was going on in his mind, and while I did write a lot about bitterness and regret, I tried to make them have more meaning than just, "Snape hates James and loves Lily, but he did bad things and made them get killed." Heehee. :)

Ohhh, thank you so, so, so much!!! You're probably the first person who has recommended one of my stories to a friend (at least, that I know about). That's incredibly sweet of you! :D

Thanks ever so much!

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #8, by ReeBee Marked for Destruction

10th January 2014:
Wow! So powerful!!! Great job! :D

It was really good! I like that you focused on the plot! Because, you obviously can't cover all the your bases (characterisation, description, plot) in 500 words! So, great job! I actually really like your take on this! :D

I think perfectly in canon! Snape's characterisation! Fantabulous job! There is really nothing much to say about this! To me, it was perfect! And you covered the large time span really well! So smooth, even though you included the 'weeks passed' and 'years passed', but it was really smooth! I think a lot of people struggle with that! Kudos to u! :D

Sorry, like I said, it was really good! Great job! :D

-ReeBee

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for your review!

With only 500 words, I had to be super choosy about what I wanted in the story and what I had to leave out. It was definitely a struggle, but I'm glad that you liked my focus on the plot. :)

Perfectly in canon?!?! You're so sweet! Canon is a scary thing for me because I'm SO afraid of messing it up, but with this story, I kind of sat back and let Snape do the talking. I am so, so, so happy that you thought it was perfect! :D

Thanksthanksthanks for your review!!

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #9, by LilyLou Marked for Destruction

1st January 2014:
Hey, LilyLou here for the Ravenclaw Review Battle!

I loved this little one shot. It was short, but I believe it truly covered everything perfectly. You expressed Severus' grief wonderfully, and I truly felt as though I was the one grieving over the loss of Lily. I love how you incorporated his opinions; it was very cannon. I felt that everything was perfect as far as that went. His regret, his mourning, his loneliness, and especially his dislike toward James Potter I.

I really enjoyed reading this little one shot. Well done!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hi! I'm sorry it took me lots of time to respond to your review.

Thank you so much! I had 500 words, so I tried to use them to their fullest potential. Severus is a very complex character, and it was quite a challenge to portray him as jealous, lustful, and depressed (if that makes any sense). I'm sorry that I made you feel sad about Lily! It was an accident, I swear! :)

Yeah, I think that Severus, for all of his wonderfulness, is still quite a jerk. He really hates James, but he loves Lily, and so he hates Harry but wants to keep him alive. His whole existence is confusing, but above all, he was a sad, sad man. I'm so glad that you thought I did him justice.

Thanks again!

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #10, by marinahill Marked for Destruction

20th December 2013:
What a powerful 500 words! Despite the small word goal I think this is one of the most difficult challenges to attempt. You have to create characters, emotions, setting and plot in such a short space of time. You drew me in from the start and there was no doubt who the protagonist was. Automatically I knew the context and made me feel sorry for Snape straight away. His bitterness and regret came across so strongly. His self-loathing too was really well written and I both felt sorry for him and blamed him at the same time, much as he feels towards himself.

And even though it's short there's definitely some character growth too. He reaches a conclusion at the end due to the emotions and feelings you describe and it's a beautiful but sad ending. There's such a sense of finality, that we know that he can and will never forgive himself for what he did. But you picked up on something really important for this growth - the fact that he always dreamt that he would get to aplogise and make peace. He won't get that now and that makes his misery concrete because he'll never get closure or forgiveness from her.

A really fantastic one-shot! You've fleshed out Snape so well in so few words. Well done!

Marina

Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much! It makes me smile to hear that someone thinks that my words are powerful. :)

Yes, I had wanted to attempt this challenge for a long time before I wrote this story. Then one night, I got the plunny in my head and there was no doubt in my mind--it would be exactly 500 words.

I'm glad that you got the context. That was probably the hardest part--using my words to create all the different elements of a story, but not using so many that I ran out before the story ended! Snape is such a complex character--there is no way that 500 words could encapsulate how pitiable AND how condemn-able he was, but I'm am so happy to know that you thought that I did well with that!

Thank you so, so much! I'm sure that I didn't mean to make the ending so sad, but it definitely fits in with the rest of the story. Thank you for saying that it's beautiful and sad--that's really nice of you! I would like to think that Lily's death hurt Severus far worse than her rejection of his friendship. After all, because she is dead, he has no more chances to apologize. It certainly haunted him for the rest of his life.

Thank you so, so, so, so very much for your lovely review!


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Review #11, by BitterSweetFlames Marked for Destruction

17th December 2013:
Here from the Ravenclaw Review Battle.
well, that was gorgeous. I have to be honest... Severus is one of my most favored characters and that is the primary reason why I loved this precious little nugget.
Of course, there are other reasons. It is beautifully written. There are absolutely no wasted words! (and, of course, with just 500 words to use there can't be). The imagery is there, the emotion is there --- raw and beautiful.
Again, I want to thank you for writing about Severus. I ache for him and all the pain and sacrifice he went thru all those years. I wish life could have been better for him... These things you made me feel with just 500 words and that is just so amazing! well done..
--Carla

Author's Response: Thanks for your review!

Wow... Gorgeous?! Thank you so much!! I'm so glad that you liked my portrayal of Severus. I really tried to use my 500 words to their best advantage, and it's so great to hear that the emotion that I put into them was evocative of his pain.

He definitely didn't deserve the suffering that he went through, but he's a deeper, more complex character for it. In that regard, I truly admire him.

Thank you again for your wonderful review! :D

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #12, by toomanycurls Marked for Destruction

12th December 2013:
RRT!!!

Wow and amazing come to mind after reading this. Taking Snape from calling her mudblood to learning about her death is immense and I wouldn't have thought it possible with such a short story but you did it wonderfully. I particularly enjoyed how you marked the passage of time by how long it had been since they talked.

I really liked that despite trying to harden his heart and not still love her, his reaction to her death clearly showed his continued love for Lily.

-Rose

Author's Response: Thank you for your lovely review! :)

I'm usually really wordy in my writing, so this story was a good challenge for me. I wanted to see if I could use very few words to make a big impact, and I like the way that this one turned out. :)

Thanks again!

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #13, by True Author Marked for Destruction

7th December 2013:
Being one of the participants of the Every Word Counts challenge, I decided to go ahead and review this for QTR review battle! :)

Oh, this was beautiful! I always love to read one-shots describing Snape's love for Lily and I thought you did a great job here. It is very difficult to fit everything in such a short word count and I didn't even feel that this story should've been longer or something. The word count suited perfectly to your plot. You also reasoned why Snape called her Mudblood which I found very very believable.

Good job!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review! :)

Yay for EWC participants! I wanted to try my hand at it, so one night a plunny came to me and I just went with it! This is the (very short) result. :D

I am so glad that you thought the brevity and the diction that I used was appropriate. :)

Thanks again for your review!

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #14, by Aphoride Marked for Destruction

19th August 2013:
Hey there - sorry for the incredibly long wait, RL decided to interfere with things and made stuff incredibly difficult for a while, but I'm back now! :)

I really enjoyed this, tbh, which I don't usually say (mostly because I don't usually read Snape/Lily, whether unrequited or not) since I don't often find something like this I like.

I liked how you went through the time when he first lost her, in a sort of permanent matter, to James and the light, and up to when he lost her literally permanently, when she died. I don't know if that was why you chose that snippet of his life, but I love the sort of symbolism between the two times, and it's definitely the time where he develops most as a person. Also, permanence with the idea of infinity is a pretty interesting combination - infinite combinations, but a permanent loss.

I think you did a really good job of dealing with Snape in this one. I like how you don't shy away from showing that he's petty - how he refuses to say Harry's Lily's child as well as James' - and bitter about what happened, but contrast it with him being upset that it did happen and regretting it. It's a powerful combination of emotions, but you handled them really well and they worked together brilliantly.

Again, I like how you mark out how he always thought of her, despite what he was doing and where he was and that he'd lost her - it seemed to me that you really hit home on the idea that he hadn't really lost her forever yet, even after his mistake (or, at least, he didn't or didn't want to think he had), but then when she died, it was all over and there was no going back. It's a very sombre thought.

The style you wrote this in is lovely. It's very simple, fresh, plain kind of style and I really like it. I think it works so well with the level of angst in this, and just all the emotion Severus is feeling. It lets the emotion take the front seat, so to speak ;)

I'm so impressed you wrote this in five hundred words, as well. I could never, ever do that. I would fail spectacularly, I'm sure :P So yeah, well done on that front too! :)

This was lovely, very thought-provoking, such good characterisation, perfect style choice and writing, and really, really angsty... I might need to go and find something cheerful to read (you've actually effected me with this, haha, well done!).

Really enjoyed it! :) Feel free to request something else in the future!

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hello!! I am SO SO SO SO SO sorry that it has taken me a thousand months (exaggeration) to reply to this review, but life got busy and I got lazy. So I have no excuse, but here I am, responding now. Better late than never, I suppose...

Thank you so much for enjoying this story! I am not a fan of Snily myself, but I liked the idea of examining his head as he lost her to James. I wanted to show him at his best and his worst--his love for Lily is probably his most redeeming characteristic (at least in my mind), and yet, he was INCREDIBLY petty about it.

And of course, it is always heartbreaking to lose someone to death, especially someone that you never had in the first place. I really tried to convey all of the emotions that I thought he felt, but 500 words was no easy task! I am quite surprised that I managed to pull it off. :)

Thank you so much, once again!! I am very sorry that I took so long to respond.

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #15, by luvinpadfoot Marked for Destruction

18th July 2013:
I think you hit me straight in all my Severus/Lily feels. Wow. That was just a beautiful story. And this is one of the few stories that seems to actually be made better by it's brief length. You really did make every word count.

I loved the line about Severus calling Harry "his" son instead of their son. That was perfect in context, exactly like canon Severus would. In fact that whole paragraph surrounding that phrase was my favorite, everything about Lily being branded and Severus's darkest days. It was truly beautiful prose.

I don't know if this was intentional (I'm pretty sure it was because it was brilliant) but the challenge you wrote it for and the fact that you specifically kept it at 500 words worked so amazingly with the last line, about all the words in their infinite combinations not being enough. (Another beautiful line of prose, but I'm just gushing.)

Honestly I could gush over every word in every paragraph because they all seemed painstakingly chosen, but I won't. A lovely one-shot, I enjoyed every second I spent reading it! It was so beautifully wrought with sadness, just perfection.

Author's Response: Awww, I'm sorry that I hurt your feels! (Even though you left this review ages ago and I'm only just now responding to it--I'm a bad person...)

Yes, I figured that Snape saw Harry as James' fault more than Lily's, simply because of his dislike of Harry from the books. Thank you so much for thinking that my writing was beautiful! I really try to make it so. :)

No... I actually didn't mean to be so symbolic with this story--the last line was actually the first one that I thought of for the story, and it all came from there. It is a little ironic that the story's length sort of complements that line.

Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for reviewing all those months ago. I really appreciate your kind words and thoughts, even though it took me four months to respond. *sheepish grin*

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #16, by HollyStone73 Marked for Destruction

16th July 2013:
Awww! I so loved this! The way that you managed to cram such depth of the emotions and vividness of his memories was pure genius. You managed to capture most of the important moments in Severus's life and STILL managed to keep the word count down. The best part however has got to be that last line. I had chills as I read it. It packed a super powerful punch! Soo well done!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review!! I am so incredibly sorry that it's been MONTHS since you left it, and I'm only just now responding. D:

I am so glad that you liked the emotion that I put into it. I really wanted to say that I had completed the EWC challenge on the forums, and I got a plunny one night that actually started with the last line. From there, I decided that my thoughts were definitely about Snape's love for Lily, and I went about making the story happen.

Thank you sooo so so much for reviewing! :)

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #17, by HeyMrsPotter Marked for Destruction

15th July 2013:
This is the first fic I've read from Snapes POV and though I loved his character in the books it was always for his complexity, I never actually felt sorry for him until now so thanks for the feels!

I loved the language you used in this and the imagery. I thought you conveyed his thoughts perfectly and you had his character absolutely spot on. Thanks for a good read, a very thought provoking one shot :)

Author's Response: Oh, you're so welcome for the feels! I'm super happy that I was able to provide a different POV for you to read! :)

Spot on?! You're too kind! I have always shied away from canon characters, afraid that I'll mess them up if I go to far. I think that this short little piece was a good exercise with which to introduce myself to canon characterization.

Thank you so much for your review!!!

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #18, by magnolia_magic Marked for Destruction

15th July 2013:
Hi! I'm so glad this caught my eye to review, because I love a good tragic Snily. You've done a wonderful job with this!

I think you did a good job of showing how self-destructive Snape's thinking really is in this situation. He feels hopeless now that his contact with Lily has ended, and doesn't think he has any choice but to join the Death Eaters. That's what's so tragic to me about this; you really show us his despair in making that choice, and that he really sees no other way his life can unfold. Also, his thoughts about James are very well-done. He thinks of James as a "bigot," when he himself has made bigoted comments toward Lily (which was what ultimately ended their friendship.) He has this way of hating James no matter how hypocritical his thoughts may be.

You did such a wonderful job of portraying such a complex character! I am so glad I read this. Awesome work!

--Maggie

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing my story! This was my first-ever EVC challenge attempt, and I was a little unsure of how it would turn out.

Yes, Snape is quite the hypocrite, and I tried to balance out his despair of losing Lily with his burning hatred for James. He's a very tragic character, but some of the tragedy he experienced is tragedy that he brought upon himself.

Thank you so much!!! I'm so glad that you read it, too! No matter how many or how few reviews I get, it's always totally awesome to see that someone likes the way I wrote things. Thank you!!! :D

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #19, by Tonks1247 Marked for Destruction

7th July 2013:
Oh my gosh...I have read only few Snape/Lily stories, but this story focused on the exact moment in their relationship that I just...I'm amazed by. So simply Snape turned his back on Lily, even without it being his intention, and just...the after effects. You put good voice as to Lily's reaction to Snape's harsh words and you paint his story so easily. I like the idea of Snape turning to the Death Eaters, just because he had no one left. It actually kind of fits his role as a double agent, actually working for Dumbledore rather than Voldemort later on, in some strange way. But really, a fabulous job with this! I quite enjoyed it!

~Grimmerz

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! :)

I wanted to show Snape's unhappiness after making a very BIG mistake, and how it affected him in the long run. I feel that he would've wanted to become a Death Eater more after he insulted Lily and she dumped their friendship. But then, of course, her death was caused by the very institution that he was affiliated with, and suddenly, he had to right the wrong he had done. He had to be a double agent, if only to protect the last living person to whom Lily gave her love: Harry. It was really interesting to examine things from his point of view!

Thank you so much! :)

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #20, by Arithmancy_Wiz Marked for Destruction

6th July 2013:
Awww, I have such a soft spot for Snape/Lily. I didn't even look at the pairings before I started reading, so it made for a lovely surprise.

You had some wonderful lines in this story and managed to hit on some great points, especially for such a short piece. I loved the bit about him "finding his infinity" in her. I think that's such a great way of capturing the intensity of Snape's feelings for Lily. I really do think he thought she was his future, and that's why his loss of her as even a friend was such a blow.

I also thought you hit on another big theme of this pairing with the line: What was left for him on the side of light, where her eyes sparkled for someone he despised and glazed over when he dared to call her name? For me, at least, I always saw Lily's character as the last thing he had to lose. Why NOT join the Death Eaters once he lost her friendship? He had nothing else in his life worth fighting for.

Great job with the challenge and the one-shot.

Happy Review Battle!

Author's Response: Thanks for your review! :)

I wanted to explore Snape's point of view, so he was the perfect character to write a 500-word story about. While I think that James loved Lily, I think that Snape's love for her was something more than even he knew. After all, he did become a turncoat after her death in order to protect her son! Lily was everything to him, because his home life wasn't very fun and people at school weren't always very nice, so that's where I got the "infinity" point from. :)

I'm glad you see his whole "crossing over" to the Death Eaters in a similar way! I think that because Lily was his entire world, when she refused to forgive him, it was the catalyst for him to REALLY go over to the dark side. He's definitely a tragic character, which may be why he's so fun to write about! :D

Thank you so much! Happy Review Battle to you, too!

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #21, by AlexFan Marked for Destruction

6th July 2013:
This was so depressing but in a good way … I guess. I think you really captured Snape's pain and loneliness in this. You made it very clear that he missed Lily and it was very obvious that he loved her but at the same time he was selfish. There was still the sound of the Snape that we know where he still looks down on Potter and believes that he knows better.

I think that this is a really powerful one-shot and you e managed to convey a lot of emotion in so few words. Personally, I think you did an excellent job for the challenge!

Author's Response: Thank you for your review!

Awww, powerful?!?! That's so nice of you! :)

I really wanted the words I chose to pack a punch, to really hit home about the way Snape was feeling after he made so many mistakes. Old habits die hard, and while he couldn't see James Potter (his tormentor) in a good light, he still put a little of his hatred aside in order to protect Lily's son after her death.

I'm so glad you thought I did an excellent job! I was kind of worried about this because there was so much meaning that had to be conveyed in 500 short little words! :)

Thanks very much!

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #22, by Trundlebug Marked for Destruction

4th July 2013:
I like it, you conveyed a lot of emotion in such a short space, like concentrated anguish. The two quoted words are each powerful in their own rights, representing the worst and best of him to great effect. I absolutely enjoyed it; Snape really is the most tragic of the HP characters.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I'm glad that you enjoyed it! :)

Snape is a highly tragic character, and I hoped to convey that through 500 little words. It's great to hear that I managed to squeeze a lot of emotion out of the words I chose. :)

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #23, by patronus_charm Marked for Destruction

3rd July 2013:
Happy Ravenclaw review tag! I was going to check out chapter two of The Society, but I really love reading entries for EWC so I couldn’t resist!

I have to say I thought the title of this piece was really fitting. I’ve always been curious by this love triangle as you can write from so many different angles and your title shows another one and it fits really well. It’s so true that it continues to haunt him for the rest of Snape’s life and we see it on his dying days. Then the subtle repetition of ‘shattered’ and ‘infinity’ throughout was really great.

This line was really great – ‘His infinity had ended, shattered on the concrete of a cruel mistake.’ it had really wonderful imagery and I love how you almost made the fault of Snape becoming a Death Eater lie down to Lily. In that section it almost feels that way and I’ve never seen it written like that before so it was really great.

You handled the evolution of Snape’s character really well, which is saying something for such a complex character! I think the one aspect of his characterisation I really liked was that you didn’t make him sob helplessly over Lily and that he almost ignored her for a few years, because it was an interesting twist and I much preferred it.

Then the ending was really heart-breaking. He had to only realise then that he really did love her, and though it may go slightly against canon, I thought it was great. The last line you left us on was really poignant and it reminded us that he never really got over that incident of calling her a mudblood and it left me with a lot to think about.

Overall, I thought that was a really great one-shot ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for your lovely review!! :)

I really love stories written for EWC, too. They're short, and yet, they can mean SO much.

I actually built this story around the last line, which just popped into my head one night. The last line talks of irreparable damage, and so, while Snape had found a good thing in Lily, he ruined it all with one little word. She was everything that he had, the only person he valued, and once he alienated her, he had nothing.

In a way, Snape became a Death Eater because of Lily AND because of himself. He was the one who said the dirty word, and he was already doing some pretty dark deeds. And then, once Lily refused to forgive him (and who can really blame her?), he sought to fill the void in his soul with darkness. I'm so glad that you found it interesting to see it from this point of view! I'm not sure exactly how many stories there are about this event, so I wanted to give it my own little twist. :)

Thank you so, so much for your wonderful review!


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Review #24, by Illuminate Marked for Destruction

3rd July 2013:
Hi! Here for the Ravenclaw review tag!

This is a really sweet and sad oneshot! I feel so awful for Snape, you describe his feelings of love and despair so well. I love the last line especially, it's very poetic.

I also like the structure of it, you manage to tell the story very well and it's so easy to understand the time that is passing, so kudos for that as it's not easy to do :)

The only criticism I have is that there's not more! I love Snape and Lily together, and I think it would be great if you wrote a novel with this subject matter.

Great job!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! :)

I'm glad that you thought it was sad and described Snape's feelings accurately. I'm not very willing to delve into canon characters' emotions, so it's great to hear that I'm doing okay! :)

I'm also really excited that you liked the last line! That was the foundation of the whole story--it popped into my head late one night, and I built the story around it. :D

The reason that there isn't more of it is that I'm not too confident on my ability to write about Snape and Lily. Maybe one day in the far-off future? You're really sweet to say that, though! :)

Thanks so much for all of your lovely comments! :)

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #25, by RavenclawWayToBe Marked for Destruction

20th June 2013:
I liked this story! Usually, I'm not a big Snape and Lily person, but I liked that you showed it as a short but very emotional view from Snape. I think that you were really great with the literary language and description, it definitely put you right into his head. Great job!

Author's Response: Oh my goodness, thank you so much for your review!! :D

I have to say, as a newer author, I don't get a lot of random reviews, but I feel like this is a random review, and for that, I can't thank you enough!

I'm not big on Snape and Lily together, but I tagged the story as such just because it kind of mentioned his love for her. It's a ship that only exists in his head, really. :)

Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!

~UnluckyStar57


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