Reading Reviews for Ice to Ashes
  
16 Reviews Found

Review #1, by bluestarjay Ice to Ashes

8th April 2014:
Wow, that was an incredible story! I love the way you write and was honestly very moved by Narcissa's story (tears in my eyes). I think you captured Narcissa's feelings brilliantly and the way your words and sentences flowed really made this story unique. I almost wanted Narcissa to wait and meet Andromeda at Tonks' grave but the ending you chose made the story even more touching.

Looking forward to reading some of your other stories :)

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Wow, thank you so much! ♥ This review was so lovely, and I'm very pleased you thought I did well with Narcissa and her emotions. I agree - the ending was so bittersweet, and I almost wanted to give in and have her wait for them, but she just wasn't quite ready yet here, and I think the story wouldn't have felt right if it had that neat little ending.

Thank you very much for the sweet review - it was ever so lovely! :)


 Report Review

Review #2, by marauderfan Ice to Ashes

6th December 2013:
Review tag!

Wow - this is so touching. I absolutely love the way you wrote Narcissa in this - her emotions and loneliness and regret came across so clearly. I loved that she was addressing Tonks. I'd sort of forgotten they were related until reading this!

I think the metaphor of Narcissa as ice is so fitting too. The abstract way you described her and her sisters is lovely, each of them with their own time of day too. That was really beautiful.

Narcissa's feelings of confinement were really well written - the way she watches Tonks from afar, helping with her injury on the playground, attending her Auror graduation ceremony - it's evident she wants to get to know her niece, in which she can see the best parts of Andromeda, Bellatrix, their parents and even herself, but she can't. And the end was SO sad, how she's been there the whole time but won't let Andromeda know, because she is at the same time too proud and too weak to talk to her again after everything that happened... I hope that she did talk to her sister again later, since they're both so alone at the end here.

The way you wrote this was really good as well - I think the lack of dialogue also speaks to Narcissa's loneliness and sense of distance from everything. The imagery in this piece is wonderful.

Nice use of that quote from the Great Gatsby, by the way - that's very Narcissa!

great work on this! I'm so glad I read it!

Author's Response: Hola! :)

Aw, thank you! :) I really enjoyed writing this story, it really flowed well through my mind to the page, and it's lovely to get such nice feedback on it. I'm glad you liked Narcissa and her emotions. I know what you mean, I had forgotten too and then remembered when the idea for this came into my head.

I'm pleased you liked the metaphors and symbolism, and found it beautiful. :) Thank you!

I feel like this version of Narcissa would feel very trapped - by herself and by her family, and it's good to know that came across. I felt so sorry that she didn't get to know Tonks while she was alive, and there's no chance to make up for that. Ah I know, I considered having her talk to Andy but felt like she wasn't ready yet: like you said, she's too proud and too weak. There might be hope someday, though. :) I've been considering writing a sequel one-shot as it feels quite sad to just leave it like this.

I've never really written something with no dialogye like this, and I love how you think it compliments Narcissa's loneliness and the lack of personal connections in her life. That's a wonderful way to analyze it. :)

I thought so right away when I saw the quote! It was just made for her. :P

Thanks for a wonderful review! :D


 Report Review

Review #3, by lindslo2012 Ice to Ashes

15th November 2013:
This was an amazing and intense one-shot!!! I LOVED IT!

Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much! :) I'm really glad you liked it!

 Report Review

Review #4, by HollyStone73 Ice to Ashes

6th November 2013:
AHHH!H!! This is brilliant! I love this! It is so easy as one becomes so deeply involved in the novels to forget how everyone is connected to each other. I personally love Narcissa and always have so this to me was just perfect. I love how perfectly you attributed the "My voice is full of money" line to her! I think you have captured her just the way that I have always imagined her to be. The emotions that you wrote are just screaming up off the screen at me! I LOVED how you had Narcissa "spying" on Tonks as she was growing up from the playground to her Auror graduation. I think I literally "aww'd" out loud.
Overall this was just extremely well written and super fun to read! Way to go!

Author's Response: Hi! Aw, thank you so much for this beautiful review! I love Narcissa too, so I'm so honoured you think I did her justice and that you liked the Gatsby line, I thought it fit in quite nicely. :) I'm so pleased you enjoyed this and the way it was structured, I loved writing this story so it's so great to get positive feedback on it.

Thank you so much for this lovely review! :D


 Report Review

Review #5, by adluvshp Ice to Ashes

29th October 2013:
Hey! Here for review tag.

This was amazing! I immediately wanted to check out this story on seeing its about Narcissa, who is my favourite character by the way, and I loved it. Your characterisation of her is beautiful and spot on and I loved how you chose to write her addressing her thoughts to Dora about her sister and reflecting on everything.

The plot was superb and I really enjoyed this. Your imagery was astounding and I was completely hooked. There was this poetic flow about this whole piece that I loved so much. I think you've done complete justice to Narcissa's character. Your portrayal of her has me in awe =) The way you wrote about Andromeda was brilliant too.

The thing that made this story beyond amazing has to be your superb descriptions and imagery though. They were totally awesome!!

Great job!
I loved it!
10/10
Cheers
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hello!

Aw, thank you so much for all these amazing comments. I love Narcissa too, and giving her a little voice and depth in this story was a lot of fun, and maybe even redeemed her a little in my mind. I'm really honoured you think her characterization was well done and the perspective of the story!

I got really inspired while writing this piece and as a result it turned out very stream of consciousness and relying heavily on imagery and language, so I'm happy you appreciated that! I always thought I'd write a story about the Black sisters, though never thought it would take this angle, and I'm glad you thought the character came through.

Thank you so much for this incredible review! It really made my day! :D


 Report Review

Review #6, by milominderbinder Ice to Ashes

27th October 2013:
Review Tag!

Oh. My. God.

This was beautiful.

Your writing is incredible. I could totally feel every ounce of Narcissa's pain and her longing for lost family was so tangible it's actually put tears in my eyes. Even in just over 1000 words you managed to portray such a range of deep, explored emotions.

The imagery here was incredible. Even with relatively abstract description you really managed to paint a picture in my mind, a picture that showed Narcissa's surroundings as a kind of emotional reflection of herself.

I honestly don't know what else to say. This is the point of a review where I'd want to give constructive criticism but I'm not remotely qualified to criticise a single aspect of this! I'm sure not even an incredible professional author would have you change anything here, let alone a mediocre fanficcer like myself. You've honestly put me in a state of awe here.

Well done.

~Maia

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Wow, thank you so much for all these lovely compliments! This was a really exciting story for me to write so I'm glad you enjoyed it. I really wanted to have the emotion come across and it's wonderful to hear that was really effective.

Yes, it was quite abstract! I really like your comment about her surroundings being an emotional reflection: it fits what I was hoping to come across quite well.

You are so sweet! Thank you, these kind words mean so much. And you are definitely not mediocre! :)

Thanks so much for the review! :D


 Report Review

Review #7, by randomwriter Ice to Ashes

15th September 2013:
Hello! Here from review tag!
(I'm late I know... I'm sorry!)

Okay. So I'd said that I would review 'The Wandering one'. But this REALLY caught my eye. The summary seemed so beautiful and I'd also entered this challenge myself. I figured I'd give it a read.

I am SO glad I picked this one. Now I'm going to consider it a shame if I haven't read every story that you've ever posted.

Well... HOW did you write something so beautiful? It's simply incredible. I have tears in my eyes right now, and I don't mind one bit.

I couldn't figure out who you were talking about in the beginning... I thought it might be Andromeda... but as the story unfolded, I realized that it was Tonks all along and I thought that it was really cleverly done. It was interesting. How you wrote about her relationship with Andromeda. It's almost like she still loves her dearly and this is a side of her that I haven't ever read about before.

I think that you write incredibly well. I would say that this is absolutely breathtakingly beautiful, but that wouldn't do justice to this story. Nope. Not even close.

I'm trying to pick out lines to quote. To tell you how much they left me gasping in wonder, but I simply cannot pick. Every word of this is nothing less than perfect.

I'm running out of things to say because I'm still in the hush. You know that kind of hush that engulfs you when you're so taking aback by something? I feel like my mind has traveled and learned and ages during the span of this one-shot. I know that it's a weird thing to say, but I can't think of any better way to describe how stunning this was.

I love the imagery and the symbolism. I love the contrast between them; like fire and ice. I love the phrases you've used and you've written this so carefully. Not a single word seems out of place. Every thing, every word has added to the story to make it so heartbreaking, in a very good way though.

The ending killed me a little. I kept hoping that she would stay and be reunited with Andromeda. I've never seen Narcissa like this before, and it was a side of her I really liked. I thought that if she had stayed, Andromeda might have chosen to speak to her and they could have said good bye to Tonks together. But alas. You took this piece of angst and you turned it into art. I can't think of any better way of putting it.

As I said before, if I had to pick one thing that made this story what it is, it is your descriptions and your sense of vivid imagery. I loved it. I love how you neglected dialogue completely. It is a style of writing that I am familiar with, and that I often use, myself. But I have never written anything so absolutely lasting.

I think you used the quote given to you very well, and you certainly get full points for creativity from my side. You thought of it in a very innovative way, and I'm really happy you won this challenge. you truly deserved it.

I'm finding it really hard to write this review. Mainly because there's SO much I really want to say, and I'm not entirely sure how. I can't do justice to your story in a 6000 word review when I'm still in the aforementioned state of being in a 'hush'.

I think you should write such things more often, and do shoot me a link somehow. I will be the first one there and I'll real it a hundred times.

I know I shouldn't be apologising. Not really. But I have to. Because I'm going to end this review very soon and I will remember a hundred other things that I have to say as soon as I clock on send. I'll send you a PM sometime, telling you just how much I loved this.

This is definitely going to favourites. And I'll probably read it once every few days.

You are absolutely brilliant. Keep up the great work :) I LOVED it.

Author's Response: Hi! Wow, this review is actually amazing, thank you so much! :) I loved every word of it and getting your praise on this one-shot was lovely! Thank you! :D

This story kind of wrote itself, when the reader finds out who Narcissa is and was talking to that was pretty much the same point I figured it out as well! It was so exciting to write and I loved channeling Narcissa's emotion, so I'm very thrilled you liked it and thought it worked. :) I'm also pleased you thought it was an original side to Narcissa.

I think I have a bit of the hush from this lovely review! :P

I was so tempted to let Narcissa stay and talk with Andromeda at the end, but it felt right that for now she would maintain that distance. She isn't as brave as she'd like to be, and I didn't think she would be ready yet to be vulnerable after years of idealizing. I love your comment about turning angst into art! Thank you!

I'm glad you liked the style of stream of consciousness and writing style with imagery as well. It's a very fun form to experiment with. Also, I'm so pleased you thought the quote fit in! I read it and thought it felt perfect for Narcissa, and the kind of comment she would make about herself.

Thank you (and I cannot say that enough!) for this really lovely and thoughtful and perfect review!!! You are awesome!! :D


 Report Review

Review #8, by Calypso  Ice to Ashes

18th August 2013:
Hello, I'm here to review your Gatsby challenge entry!

Oh my, oh my, oh my, this was beautiful! Such vivid imagery... I loved the recurring motifs of fire and ice and all the heat references that came with that. It's a simple idea that works beautifully here...
Your descriptions are gorgeous- there's so much detail caught in so few words and you manage to put across Narcissa's tangled emotions just perfectly... all those intermingled feelings of regret and grief and fear...

It actually took me a while to work out who this was being addressed to; at first I thought it was Andromeda, but using Nymphadora makes perfect sense too and is a lot more original. It's a relationship not much looked into. It also seems realistic that Narcissa might be searching for some indirect way into her sister's life- like you kind of suggest in the very last paragraph?Having read this I'm just enraptured by the idea of Narcissa there on the outskirts of Dora's life, and the little girl not knowing who she is and you bring it to life so elegantly... The way Narcissa/you talk about Nymphadora as a child is so tender and loving that it really breaks my heart to think that she'll never know how her aunt loved her.

I really liked the way you brought across Narcissa's feeling of betrayal when Andromeda left- it was very poignant, and I really felt for her in a way I haven't when reading other Black sisters fics.

Another thing I loved was you reasoning for why neither Andromeda or Narcissa had a second child. It made such perfect sense in the circumstances that it's now my head canon! And it was put over so well too.

Some of your turns of phrase in this were simple stunning. I could spend all day picking them out but I particularly loved "a liability to be shaped into a tool" and the almost-contradiction of "beautifully and gracelessly."

I'm curious, did you think of Narcissa right away for that quote? Because it fits her perfectly, with her kind of icy, materialistic, snobbish exterior. Only you managed to show with this that that's really only skin deep. Anyway the quote flowed beautifully with your writing, I was really impressed!

And ohmygosh my HEART! That ENDING! Part of me was praying that she would stay and that Andromeda would see her and they could mourn Tonks together and then make up, and it made me so sad to think of the two of them both missing her and not knowing. The final lines you left us on were just perfect, showing how both sisters' vision of each other was distorted, and just so full of anguish but the way you wrote made it just wonderfully beautiful...

I was really impressed with this, it was amazing! I love the way you write, I love the different slant on the characters, I love the way you can bring across emotions... Just beautiful. ♥ ♥

-Bethany

Author's Response: Hi darling! :)

Ah, I'm so pleased you enjoyed this piece! I loved coming up with the imagery, it really flowed quite naturally for the characters and it's great that it came across well. Thank you for your lovely compliments about the writing style and descriptions, it really means a lot! :)

Of all the stories I've written this is one which I edited the least, and mostly let it flow naturally when writing. I kept the original structure, like not revealing who exactly was speaking and who was being addressed. You're right, in the story Narcissa is searching for a way which she can return into Andy's life, but can't quite rationalize this to herself yet. I loved the idea of Narcissa being on the margins of Dora's life and loving her and Andy from afar, and them not realizing: it just felt so tragic and lovely, somehow.

I'm glad you liked this portrayal of Narcissa, and how she blamed Andy for actually leaving her. I imagined that while Narcissa is too weak to leave and make a life for herself alone, she expected her big sister to protect her and save her, and when Andy failed to be Narcissa's hero this ensued in bitterness and continuing to trap herself. And I'm glad you thought it made sense why they each only had one child! :)

Hmm, I actually wrote a good chunk of this story - mostly the parts of Narcissa reflecting on Tonks - before thinking of entering the challenge. Then I was browsing the challenge threads and saw how the quote was available, and thought "wow, that fits so well with the Narcissa in that little almost-story I was writing!" Then I incorporated the quote and added more of Narcissa's personal backstory and self-reflection, and how she sees herself as opposed to how the world sees her. The quote just fit perfectly, and by manipulating it into the narrative I think it really gave the story the push and shape it needed. I'm so glad you liked how the quote fit, I also thought the story was perfect for Gatsby, since Narcissa is chasing this dream (represented by Andy and Tonks) which she can't obtain, and that she could even be compared with Daisy and her self-denial in a way. So, it fit so well with the challenge, and I'm so glad I got the chance to frame it around these ideas from Gatsby! :)

Ah, I almost left the ending open where Narcissa hesitates when she sees Andromeda, but it didn't quote fit and I didn't feel that Narcissa was quite ready. :( I'm so glad you liked the ending, it was emotional for me to write as well so I'm very pleased that came through! :)

Thank you so so so much for this amazing review, and for coming up with the challenge, and liking the story... it made me so happy, and I loved writing this and working on it. :)



 Report Review

Review #9, by LittleLionGirl Ice to Ashes

25th July 2013:
I loved this story to pieces. I now see why this story came recommended to me. It is really amazing! I love how you wrote Narcissa and her sister. I can't say much more or I'll gush... Anyhow keep writing!
XOXOOXO,
LLG

Author's Response: Hi! :) I'm so honoured to hear you liked this story. I'm so glad you enjoyed the way the sisters were written, I loved writing the piece and receiving positive feedback is so lovely. Thank you for reading and leaving a wonderful review! :)

 Report Review

Review #10, by patronus_charm Ice to Ashes

14th July 2013:
Hi Iím here with your first of five reviews!

You really need to stop writing such brilliant stories, itís really not fair on the rest of us! I feel as if youíve adopted a style and I really love it. Itís poetic in a way and not something I often come across in fan fiction but itís such a delight to read and I really love seeing it here. I think the level of description you tend to go into really adds to it, and almost makes it work.

I never, ever, thought about Narcissa and Tonksí relationship before now but seeing it here was a really wonderful insight into what might have happened and what might have been. I really loved how we saw Tonks in various stages of her life as you never would have guessed Narcissa would have been watching her all the way.

Another thing I loved was how you developed Narcissa and Andromedaís relationship. I imagined them to be closer with one another than with Bellatrix and the analogy with the moon was really clever. Narcissaís hate towards her sister when she ran off with Ted and the almost bitterness which ensued was really fitting and explained the divide between them perfectly.

It was strange to see how she viewed Andromeda and Tonks as the golden ones unlike her and Draco. I never thought about it like that before but, again, it makes perfect sense. I feel as if I keep on saying that but itís only because itís true! The contrasting parenting you also described was also excellent and showed Narcissa in an almost pitiful and sympathetic appearance than how we usually see here.

The only tiny error I noticed was here ĎI did not see your mother that day,, yet felt her presence in the audience, her pride and excitement radiating and warming all it encountered, the same addictive pride when I earned top marks in Transfiguration, or stood up for myself in facing Bellatrix's tauntingí where you had two commas but I wouldnít bother changing it too much.

Overall I thought this was a brilliant one-shot and I canít wait to read more of your stuff!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi darling! :)

Wow, this review was so thoughtful and kind (like all of your reviews are, really), so thank you! :D I'm so glad you like my style of writing and it comes across as poetic, that is such a compliment! Hopefully the level of detail continues to be interesting and not drag on too much!

The idea for Narcissa thinking about Tonks came to me very suddenly and it just sort of wrote itself. I'm glad you enjoyed it and thought it was a little believable. Since we don't know much about Narcissa really from the books I thought there would be a big difference in the way Harry perceives her and the way she internally thinks.

I'm glad you liked the sister relationship as well! I agree, Bellatrix is so out of control that I imagine the other two would have been much closer, and Andromeda and Narcissa both exhibit a lot of love and loyalty. I'm glad you liked the imagery of the moon and sun as well! :)

I guess I imagined Narcissa as being both bitter and longing for the freedom of Andy and Tonks, and like she wants that freedom for herself and her son who she still loves but in a painful, protective way. I'm so glad you thought the portrayal of their roles as parents and sisters and how Narcissa comes across!

Thank you the lovely review my dear! :) I love getting your feedback and all your sweet words are very much appreciated!


 Report Review

Review #11, by LilyLou Ice to Ashes

4th July 2013:
LilyLou here with your requested review!

And wow. I don't even know what to say. It was... beautiful. Absolutely amazing. I cried, just a little bit. It was absolutely stunningly written. Everything about it was perfect. It truly was amazing. I can't even find any words to say. I was confused in the beginning, but as I read farther into it, it became clear who, in fact, the person was who was speaking. Narcissa Black, not Malfoy, is one of my favorite characters. She's mysterious. Now, Narcissa Malfoy, on the other hand, I don't like. I don't like to write about her during her time with Lucius and Draco. I love to read and write about Narcissa and her sisters. I've written a fair few, though none are posted. I love how you made her secretly and distantly love Nymphadora, and how you had her in major points of her life, even though they didn't know it. Well done, beautifully written. Don't let your gift of writing go to waste.

Keep writing!

-Janelle(:

Author's Response: Hi there! :)

Wow, thank you so much for this really lovely praise and feedback. This review was so thoughtful and all the kind words were very heartwarming and encouraging, I'm glad the story touched you emotionally and you liked the writing. :)

It's funny, I never thought I'd connect with Narcissa so much until the story just kind of wrote itself. The dynamics between the sisters are so interesting. You should definitely consider posting some of your stories about them, I'd read it! :)

Thank you for a lovely review, my dear! :)


 Report Review

Review #12, by KiwiOliver Ice to Ashes

29th June 2013:
KiwiOliver with you're RR :)
I think you've done a really good job of taking this character, one we all believe to be selfish and horrible, and showing her off in a different light.
I like the style a lot, it feels like she's actually talking to Tonks, it's not confusing at all in fact, I think the style is what makes this chapter great!
The emotion comes across perfectly, reading it gave me the same sort of sad feeling that she's going though, it made me pity her as a character. That just proves you've written her effectively :)
The character you created (well, wrote) is realistic, along with every part of the chapter. The voice suited her perfectly and I think you did a good job of understanding Cissy's feelings :)
If I were to give any suggestions it would be to just check over for typos (not spelling mistakes just things like putting two commas instead of one). They don't distract from the story at all, but I though I'd try and give some CC instead of just all praise :p (Not that you don't deserve all praise, because you do)
Overall a very beautifully written chapter, I was glued to the page from start to finish. :)
Hope to see more of your work, feel free to request some :)
KO

Author's Response: Hi there! :)

I'm glad you thought this was an original way to see Narcissa, and that she was written alright. And it's wonderful to know that the style complimented the story, and a relief since I worried it might be a little confusing. I'm glad you connected with Narcissa emotionally as well, as I got a little emotional writing the story! :) I never saw Narcissa this way until this story just appeared in my head, but liked giving her some depth and emotion.

I'll definitely go back over the story and check when I get the chance, and I appreciate the CC! :) Thank you for a really lovely review, and for all your wonderful comments. It is very much appreciated! :D


 Report Review

Review #13, by UnluckyStar57 Ice to Ashes

23rd June 2013:
Asdfghjkl;asdfghjkl;asdfghjkl;...

No, no, no... I'm supposed to be leaving a review here. Constructive criticism and stuff.

So. No. I can't constructively criticize this at all. I can babble incoherently about the wonderfulness and brilliance of this story.

At first, I was so confused about who Narcissa was talking to, and then I was like, "OH, IT'S TONKS DUH!!" I really enjoyed how I didn't know at first, and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Like, WHOA! Amazingness. :)

Okay, this stream-of-consciousness thing is really, really, really great for this topic/character/piece. It just WORKS. I can see all of Narcissa's memories and her pain, and oh my gosh, it's beautiful the way you've written it.

I kind of wish that she would've revealed herself to Andromeda, to see what would happen, but alas, she didn't. So they'll just have to go on, being as far away from each other as a flower on earth and a constellation in the night sky.

Speaking of night skies, I love how you described the Black sisters in terms of the moments of their birth. It totally figures that Bellatrix would be the one born during an eclipse of the moon. Darker than dark, that's her! Narcissa and Andromeda fit perfectly, too. The sisters of the sky, except one isn't in the sky at all.

Okay, what was my point? Hmmm, it's that you're so awesomely brilliant that you've rendered me incoherent. I hope you don't mind random babbling...

Really, the figurative description is just so shimmery and sparkly. How do you do it?! I certainly hope that you read this at least once a week and think, "Well, darn, I'm totally awesome," because that's definitely what I'm thinking right now. :P

My favorite part of this was when Narcissa thought about the day when she healed Tonk's cut in the sandbox. The whole "fairy lady" thing was painted in such shivery-awesome words. I love it!!

The whole premise of this thing is just sad!Narcissa musing about dead!Tonks and all the mistakes that were made, and that's really sad. It was so beautiful, but just really, really sad. (Must stop saying "sad" and find a better adjective...) I thought that you used the Gatsby quote to its fullest advantage, but this story was about so much more than just incorporating a quote. You made it sing, Lulu, you really did.

Please let me review more of your writing, if you don't mind a whole lot of gushing! This was so fantastic. I just want to shake you by the hand for its brilliance. :)

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hello! :) Wow, I can't even handle the absolute loveliness of this review. It had me smiling throughout, thank you! :D

Gah, I'm so pleased you liked the story and the idea of Narcissa addressing Tonks. I'm glad it hit you and had a strong impact, I loved writing this story and feeling emotional while writing it! I'm so pleased the stream of consciousness style seemed to work and wasn't too confusing or anything, honestly it's my favourite form to write in, particularly for short, angsty one-shots! :D

I wish she had too, but I felt like Narcissa wasn't quite ready to bare her soul to Andy, it had just been too many years of hiding and fear. I think someday she might come forward, however, or at least I hope so!

I'm so pleased as well that you enjoyed the imagery and contrasts, I loved writing this and imagined it almost like a love poem. The idea of light and dark seemed so simple but fit the sisters so well in my mind, so I'm very happy you enjoyed it! I loved writing and imagining how the scene in the playground would have appeared and affected Narcissa as well.

I'm pleased (though sorry) if this made you feel sad! I really loved writing this, and your positive feedback is really wonderful to receive. This is really such an incredible, kind review, and I really appreciate it. Thank you! :)



 Report Review

Review #14, by Jchrissy Ice to Ashes

22nd June 2013:
Hi m'dear! I couldn't pass up a bit of your lovely writing when I saw you in review tag!

I had a lot of fun figuring out who she was addressing at the start. At first I though it was 2nd person PoV, but then realized it was first and she was actually talking to someone else, THEN when I realized who she was talking to... ugh. My heart got so many sads!

The idea of Narcissa lurking in the shadows, needing to be close to her sister in a way but never actually being able to tell her so, is so sad and beautiful. It's so hard to figure out who this woman actually was in the HP series. We know Lucius is a jerk, even after Voldemort fell he still did jerky stuff. But we don't see much of Narcissa and then we see her do whatever it takes to save her son's life.

She's never made out as a bad person so much as weak until the end when she lies to Voldemort, and I think you did such a great job taking those qualities for this piece. She was too weak to go with Andromeda, too weak to leave the house without her sister coming back to rescue her. She was too weak to step from the shadows and tell her sister all the things she felt, all the hurt it caused to be so separated. So instead. she's telling her niece all the things she's unable to tell Andromeda. LOVE THAT. It's so creative and just adds this heart breaking but realistic feel to the story.

The idea of her being there when Tonks was born, when she scared her knee, when she graduated the Auror program... those are all just such beautiful moments and each one I wanted so badly for her to say something to her sister, to confess how much she needed her. But the fact that she didn't kept this feeling very much like Narcissa, I think.

You used a lot of really lovely imagery in this, and I adored the constant comparison to the girl the time of day/night they were born in. Again, really creative.

This was a really awesome read!

♥ Jami

Author's Response: Hi darling! Oh, you are just too sweet! :)

I'm glad there was some mystery at the beginning, and you were sad when you realized! Well, not glad you were sad, but... you know. I got a little emotional writing this story so it's wonderful to hear that came through!

I'm so pleased you liked the idea of Narcissa hiding from her sister and never being brave enough to come forward. It's very tragic in a way, and I felt she just must be so lonely. There is a lot of freedom to write her because she doesn't have a large role, but I liked projecting the strength and love she feels for Draco onto Andromeda- she must have learned that love somehow after all.

I'm glad you thought her weakness was believable and well done! In a way she isn't even strong enough to address Andy herself, and has to go through Tonks. I'm so happy you thought that was original, I really enjoyed coming up with it and trying to make it work!

I wanted her to come forward too, and almost left the ending as an open ending. But considering how weak and frightened Narcissa is built up to be, it wouldn't be quite right if she came forward. But maybe someday in the future she would be able to, who knows! I was thinking of writing a companion one-shot from Andy's POV, so we'll see! :)

Thank you for the compliments on the imagery, and for all your lovely words on the story in general. It really made me smile, so thank you so much for this brilliant review! :D


 Report Review

Review #15, by 800 words of heaven Ice to Ashes

20th June 2013:
Hello from review tag!

It's amazing that you've read so much of what I've written, but I've hardly read anything of yours. This is very terrible of me, and somewhat inexplicable, because I spend so much time lurking in review tag!

Anyway, onto the review! Let me first start off by saying that the antithesis in your title reminded me of Robert Frost's poem Fire and Ice. Not the actual meaning in the poem, just the use of fire and ice, and how they mean the end of the world to me in my head. From your summary, this may not be such a far flung thought...

The first paragraph is amazing. I have no idea what's going on. Is someone dead? Or are they just figuratively dying? Who's the son? Who's the wife? Who's the husband? Who on earth is talking? WHAT IS GOING ON?! But all of this in a really good way.

Okay, I figured it out. She's actually dead. And I know who the story's about now. I feel like crying already. Tonks' death was an especially painful one for me, and seeing it through Narcissa's eyes should be interesting. She can't outwardly show grief for her niece, because her mother's a blood traitor, and her father's a muggleborn, and she married a werewolf, but it's touching to see Narcissa mourn for her all the same.

I love your descriptive language in this! Your use of antithesis is so wonderful and jarring. I adore the way it juxtaposes Narcissa and Andromeda. It's almost as if Narcissa's is mourning the loss of a very large part of her life Ė her sister, through her estranged niece. This one little line is one of my faves: "...and smiled at the strange, light-headed woman with the thin face who peeked so timidly from behind a cup of black coffee." The way you've used light and black here, is such a nice echo of the theme of the entire paragraph, as well as underlining the two different sides of Narcissa.

The middle bits of this story, when Narcissa's telling Tonks about her relationship with her two sisters, almost sounds like a love letter to Andromeda, where Narcissa's the damsel in distress, and Bellatrix, and her parents, and her pureblood life are the evil villains, and Andromeda's choice to marry her muggleborn love is the knight in shining armour, who will one day come and save her from her doom. I don't know if I'm just being fanciful or what, but that's what all the imagery is reminding me of.

The scene where Narcissa talks about visitng Tonks as a newborn in the hospital is very sad. I'm still thinking about the imagery from the part before, and now it's as if there's been this happily ever after, and Narcissa's just been left behind and forgotten, yet she doesn't resent Tonks for symbolising that, but is almost reverent of it, and respects it, whilst still mourning its loss.

The end of this really just emphasises my feeling that Narcissa's trying to reach out to her lost sister in one of the few ways she can. It's incredibly sad and touching. I feel Narcissa's pain in the way she can't break the barriers between herself and Andromeda. It's a side of Narcissa we don't often see, with the focus of her love and devotion often being Draco, with only hints of what she feels for Andromeda, but this story reversed that trope, and it was really enjoyable.

I think I've rambled long enough! If you didn't get this before, I really loved this piece, and enjoyed reading a different side of Narcissa! Awesome job!

Author's Response: Hello! Well I'm glad you were able to make it over here, and thank you for being the second review on this little story of mine!

I'm so glad you made that comparison since that poem was a sort of inspiration for this piece. I was going to put lines from that poem as an introduction to the story, but it didn't fit into the three-line rule, so it's great you picked up the allusion! :)

I thought Tonks' death was so sad as well, and I never thought of Narcissa being emotionally attached to her until this story just took shape. It was very fun, though emotional, to write. You're right, Tonks could not be more blacklisted for purebloods, but Narcissa loves her secretly all the same.

Thank you so much for liking the descriptions, this praise is just too lovely. I'm so pleased you like the symbolism and the contrasts between the two women, and you're right: Narcissa mourns the loss of Andy through the lens of Tonks' death. It's wonderful that you liked the contrast of light and dark, and yes! It's both the contrast between Narcissa and Andy, and also the two halves of Narcissa, the pureblood Malfoy part and the part that loves and misses her sister.

I love how you compared the story to a love letter, it does read a little like that, doesn't it? I really enjoyed those comparisons of the imagery, it is a lot like that. Narcissa puts herself in the damsel in distress position, secretly waiting for Andy to rescue her, instead of taking a role with agency and rescuing herself.

I think you've understood Narcissa perfectly in this review! Seeing Tonks as a baby symbolizes this strange perfection and happy ending for her, which not even the birth of Draco can remedy. Tonks represents someone Narcissa both wants to be and wants to protect in a way, and mourns the loss of both.

I'm so pleased you found the ending touching and sad, I got quite emotional writing it and deciding what Narcissa would do. She can't quite bring herself to let Andy see her, as the barriers are too great, and in this way she can't change.

I'm so glad you liked the story, and this review was such a lovely and wonderful surprise! Thank you for being so thoughtful! :)


 Report Review

Review #16, by marauder5 Ice to Ashes

19th June 2013:
Where do I start? I don't know. This was just so touching and sad and beautiful and overwhelming, to be honest. It really touched my heart. Maybe it was the whole second person thing that made it seem so much closer, in a way, that this really was Narcissa's thoughts, directed towards Tonks (which was very original, by the way. I've never come across something like that before).

I should tell you this: I'm not really a 'cryer' when it comes to reading or watching films etc. I can be touched, but I rarely cry (I've cried in three films in my life, I think - and yes, one of them was Harry Potter, when Dobby died..) But I cried when I read this. It was so beautiful, so heartbreakingly sad that I just couldn't help it. It was in the paragraph in which she wondered if it had been Lucius' friends who had killed Ted. The tragedy of it all, of this ruined family, of Andromeda's loss... it was just one of the saddest things I've ever read.

Narcissa is so much more human and compassionate than a first glance reveals, which you've captured perfectly here. I absolutely LOVE the idea of her sneaking into Andromeda's room after Nymphadora was born, to see her baby niece, and healing Tonks' wound in the playground. I can definitely imagine it. Also, Lucius shooting her a look when she claps hard at the graduation - that's such a believable detail that just reinforces the tragedy of it all, because maybe, had it not been for his influence, she would have dared to do more than he did. And now, she thinks it's too late, that she's done too much. Maybe she has.

"Andromeda's stare would turn me to a column of fire, leaving a pile of ashes beside the grave which contains your own. I do not deserve your mother, Nymphadora. So, she will continue see me in the frozen glass of the lake, a fleeting reflection. And I will see her in the sun, as it burns against my opened eyes." That might have been the most beautiful thing I've ever read. Thank you so much for writing this! I think I'll come back and re-read it, again and again, because it was one of the best things I've ever read.

Author's Response: Oh my god. How do I start? This review was just so, so lovely and incredible to receive, and really gave me the reassurance and confidence about this story. Thank you! :D

I really wrote this on a whim and got quite emotional in the process, so it's very good to hear that comes through. I'm glad you thought it was original, as their relationship (or lack thereof) never really gets addressed. I'm glad the second person thing made the story stronger, and not more confusing, and that it touched your heart- that's really such high praise!

Aw, you cried?! I'm so pleased (not that you cried, but that the story could affect in that way!). Yes, that part was very sad to imagine as well. Their lives coincided in so many tragic ways, and this is often all Narcissa has to go on to connect them.

I'm so happy that you liked the portrayal of Narcissa and that this brought her humanity. Honestly I never liked her much as a character but this story just felt right. She does come across as a bit... creepy, with all the sneaking around, but I believe it was out of love and a desire to be part of Andromeda's family. I do think Narcissa thinks it's too late for her: I originally considered having her wait in the graveyard until Andromeda approached, but decided that Narcissa isn't brave enough when it comes to her sister. In her mind, it is too late.

I'm so honoured that you loved that line, which was certainly one of my favourites. Poor Andy, poor Narcissa, poor Tonks! :( Thank you so much for this really beautiful review, it honestly meant so much to me! You are wonderful! :)


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login