1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by UnluckyStar57 It's basically a flying ice sculpture

13th June 2013:
Hi! I just thought that I'd randomly review your story. :)

First of all (and I'm sure you'll get a lot of questions about this), what happened with the font of your story? Do you think you can get it to be a more normal font? I think that would really make it easier to read if you can. :)

This definitely seems like an interesting story! Leesy and her brother are the first characters that I've seen who go to King's Cross in a flying ice car. Why is that? And why does Leesy seem to dislike her mother so much?

The pacing of your story is pretty good, as is the description. However, sometimes your dialogue is a little hard to follow, but it's no big deal. I would suggest cleaning it up a little and making sure that we know who is speaking.

Who are Camille and Ace? That's something that I could've used a little more elaboration on before the chapter ended. And why does Albus Potter need help with Potions? Is it just a ploy to get closer to Leesy, or is he really just failing?

This chapter is a very good start to the story. I am eager to see where you're going to take it from here!

~UnluckyStar57

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