Reading Reviews for Nothing is Perfect
  
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HermyLuna2 Chapter 5

14th May 2015:
I really like the sentence Something about her face – she was going to do something he wasn't going to like. It captures all of Draco's despair and both his past and his future at the same time. Your take on the Malfoys family dynamics is different, but I found it refreshing to read. It sheds another light on how things could have been, and the tragic bond between Draco and Narcissa here is beautiful.

I would have liked to read more about Draco being used to be called Malfoy; maybe something along the lines of how he brought it upon himself but deep in his heart never was really happy with it. I like how he is all aware of buying frivolous things - Oh come on Draco, it's not like you aren't used to it, is it? But I like that in his mind, he is able to convince himself he knows how to handle money, and maybe he has learned that by now.

I REALLY like how you did not make this Dramione like expected. You leave us with so many questions, but that is really good. It's true to real life, where there wouldn't have been a happy ever after either, or at least would have been very unlikely. And yet, it still has some elements of one. Draco and Hermione achieve something for themselves, whether it is just peace with their situations or something more, even though Draco now seems worse off due to his self -loathing that has taken the place of loathing the trio. Still, he shows he is blessed with at least the ability for self-reflection, and no one instantly reaches nirvana. You left a lot for the reader to imagine. I already wondered what the title had to do with the story, and I like how you made this little connection here. Sometimes explaining the title only detracts, but here it fitted.

I like that Draco is fifteen minutes early for his Healer appointment. That says a lot about his change.

I wonder what part the Alice in Wonderland book played in the story for Draco? Anyway, this story was different, and therefore I really enjoyed it. Good job.

Author's Response: It was actually just a random book I chose! But I think if I write it out in an extended story, that I would write it into the plot. I really need to put my bunny ears on for this and think about it before I make decisions.

But you should know, even though I have been crazy delayed in responding to your reviews, it really meant a lot to me that someone would leave such detailed reviews on this story. It's honestly one of my favorite stories and I wish more people had read it - but it doesn't have that romance in it that makes stories so popular, so it fell in the cracks a little.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING ♥


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Review #2, by HermyLuna2 Chapter 4

14th May 2015:
Sorry for quitting reviewing halfway. Life got a bit in the way. Anyway, I love how you opened this chapter. I think this is exactly how Hermione would have reacted. Blaming herself in the extreme. I also like how you didn't gloss over the heaviness of the decision. Cutting ties with Ron at this point must be very difficult from an ordinary breakup, and I am glad that your Hermione is aware of that.

I like how you add touches of magic where it is needed such as Hermione levitating her bags and emptying her furniture out of it. That was so funny and totally in the spirit of the books. Maybe instead of it wasn't home you could have given examples of the things she missed, that were different etc. From this short sentence I can of course understand what she means, but I have to think about it and think of when and why I would feel that way myself. I think you rather want it to be clear.
The same goes for the last month had been one of the hardest of her life. It's touching, but mostly if you think about what Hermione has been through and that this still is one of the hardest months of her life. On the other hand, not viewed in the light of showing vs telling, it is a strong example of implying instead of being straightforward. In general though, I think you should be aware of sentences that could disappear for readers - anything too generic/unspecific readers will overlook, no matter how much emotional significance they hold. Ron’s moods had continued to darken and the fights between the two of them escalated into longer and harsher battles is first in past then in present tense.
Would Ron be happier without her there to complicate things? was so sad. But then but it was still painful reads like a death sentence to the reader feeling Hermione's pain. I hope you aren't offended by that. If the reader is sensitive and wants to take that extra effort to feel a connection with your Hermione, it doesn't matter. But the thing is readers are lazy. If I speak for myself, I do not want to read that Hermione feels pain. She probably wouldn't want others to have to be reminded of that fact, would she? I want to read what pain is like for Hermione. I don't know if this distance from the character was a deliberate choice, but I would like to have temporarily become your Hermione. This thing applies to positive attributes as well. Hermione suddenly mourns her dream life with Ron. But nothing I've read about it so far has made me envious. Was that meant to show how deluded Hermione is? Also, she thinks she is all alone but the next she's Apparating to her parents's house.

Again, working at a coffee shop must have been a huge step backwards for Hermione. I read the story about Draco on Pottermore again and I was not correct about Draco aspiring something more since JK Rowling made it clear that he did not have to work (and apparently, he was fine with that, so he likely wouldn't have all that many demands when it comes to a job) I like how you created an OC that feels human in a way. I believe Lavender Brown was killed by Fenrir Greyback, but I don't know if this story is AU. What happened to the Hermione in the bookstore?! She's apologizing to Draco? That's madness!

Though it's pretty clear that this is going to be Dramione, I am very curious how it is going to work out knowing your Draco's current state.

Author's Response: And I was just as slow to respond ;) Life happens.

I'll keep that in mind! I've actually been contemplating writing more about PTSD and the affect it has on some of the main characters in the wizarding world - so I would be revisiting a lot of this.

I always forget that Lavender died. I have no idea why, but it's like something my brain has decided shouldn't exist. If I do the extension on this story, I will be sure to change this fact.

And I like to think of her feeling enlightened after having the entire problem with Ron the last few years.

And we shall see ;)


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Review #3, by HermyLuna2 Chapter 3

1st May 2015:
I like how you made Draco want to throw the Healer's pen accross the room, though it really needs to be a quill (Sorry to be nitpicky). I also like the sentence: "Their last conversation about his parents had resulted in a broken water pitcher and him storming out". Making Narcissa have died was very sad. It was touching that Draco reluctantly obeys the advice of the Healer to go to her grave. I like how his mother is the light side to all the cruelty he has experienced and witnessed in his life, and it makes it all the more tragic that she herself became a victim of it. You write Bellatrix really well, the sentence "Of course, there were those like his aunt who seemed to be as perversely happy as always." sums her up perfectly. The twist that she used crucio on Narcissa was just perfect.

Considering his part in the war, he could not help but feel guilty at times because he survived when so many who deserved to live did not. was an intriguing sentence that really says it all. It perfectly captures Draco's helplessness. The war really could as well have been a storm like his mother told him. He didn't have any power to influence it, yet he keeps telling himself he had.

It's a bit too coincidental that Draco is at the same time as Hermione at the graveyard, but life is like that sometimes. I wonder what his clothes and mud have to do with anything. Is it Draco trying to regain the control of his old life by focussing on the same superficialities? I wonder why Draco knows how long it's been since Fred's death. Why does he bother about that at all? Has his father's dislike for anything Weasley triggered an opposite reaction in him? But right now, this also seems like it has always been this way - Draco keeping up with the Weasleys's business despite not really knowing them like some kind of stalker. Hermione had come over to check on Draco, but we don't get to read the conversation. Why not?

I like how you made the Department of Magical Law enforcement still have no scruples. It was a little bit weird to be suddenly reading a part from the Healer's viewpoint, though. Maybe you could have divided the two perspectives with a horizontal line or asterisk or something. Nonetheless, it is nice to know what she's thinking as well. At first I thought she was maybe not such a skilled Healer. I would have liked to know more about what kind of 'strategy' she had to get him to talk to her, or if she had any at all, since you have such a fantastic beta reader for that subject which allows you to give more depth to that part. Right now the Healer as a character also seems a little bit too 'perfect' to me, with too little flaws, but maybe they will start to become apparent in the later chapters. Her part was also really short, was that deliberately?

I really like how Draco was analysing Hermione and Ron's relationship judging from what he had seen. I wonder though why he would curse this ability? What makes it awkward to him? Why is he wearing a watch all of sudden, and is it a magical or a Muggle one? I like his last sentence to the Healer. There's so much anger and...jealousy? in it.

Author's Response: I've been trying to find my notes as I responded to your reviews, so I could give you more of the ideas behind what I was trying to convey, but I cannot for the life of me find them. I think they're on the computer at home [summer internship away].

In retrospect though, as I read your reviews and look at my story, I really wish I had fleshed this story out more. Made it into more than 5 chapters. Perhaps I'll write a companion piece of sorts to go with it that has the same scenes, but fleshes it out more - but first, I have to finish everything that I'm working on currently. I keep signing up for challenges [they are my downfall].


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Review #4, by HermyLuna2 Chapter 2

1st May 2015:
Again, I think Hermione thinks a bit lightheartedly about her career, coming from a girl who was obsessed with learning and improving the living conditions of minority groups all her time at Hogwarts. Here you immediately use a lot of telling. Why did the nightmares made her cross instead of upset? What could she see in his eyes at night? What exactly is the strain? How on earth could spending time at home improve their relationship if the problem is that it is strained? What are they fighting about? You probably have these questions already neatly answered in your head, but for readers, it's a whole different (lame, I know) story.

Sometimes telling instead of showing serves a purpose...when you can't spent hours describing every little detail because the plot demands the story's pace stays quick. But I do not think this is such a story, because it deals with the effects that war have on characters. So I think that instead of writing "Ron had begun to take the stress of working under Harry out on Hermione" (Interesting idea) you should show us Ron being mad at Hermione for no reason at all, and Hermione asking him about his work or thinking about it etc. When you wrote "it led to a lot of fighting" or "he was still grieving with his family over his lost brother" it's almost as if it's something of no importance, stated casually. Was that your intention? I'd say, if it doesn't serve a purpose (such as Hermione being in denial of her bad relationship and Fred's death), delete it and show us examples of them fighting and Ron and his family grieving instead. Now fighting or grieving characters are not the most pleasant things to read about, so I can see why you would write it this way to improve readability, but is this really a story which the readers should feel comfortable reading? I don't think the subject lends itself for it. Your first chapter was haunting and confronting, but somehow you didn't really go through with that here.

I actually can see Ron becoming the hot-headed type. Not a cruel abuser, but someone who gets easily overwhelmed by life. I really like that characterization of him here.

I also like how Hermione sees it as a huge low that now also the outside world, and Draco Malfoy knows about her bad relationship. Poor girl. It's a bit strange though how she hates fighting with her Ron but not with Draco? That's I assume because she secretly likes Draco more than Ron, but the sentence With their fighting, Ron and Hermione hardly ever actually spoke anymore is a bit confusing because Draco and Hermione do the exact same thing... they speak but it's all arguing.

I'm glad that we finally get a scene in which Hermione and Ron are having a nice good argument. Is it wrong for me to say 'yay' right now? Not that I do not feel bad for poor Hermione - she did her best, damn it. And I have pity on Ron as well, for having lost his brother and being utterly inadequate and helpless when it comes to dealing with it, so much that he freaks out over something silly as paint and lashes out at his wife of all people. I am curious if they can overcome their problems.

Author's Response: I have actually thought of doing a spin-off on Hermione's story from this line of thought - she was more of a filler piece, meant to supplement more of Draco's story at the end (which I hope you got, but I shall remind myself as I read your reviews). So her story wasn't meant to be quite as fleshed out.

And yes - I could always imagine Ron reacting this way to the stress. I kind of tossed in some PTSD like symptoms for him too. And the cross at the dreams for Hermione - more about a lack of control =)

Again, thank you SO much for leaving these reviews =D


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Review #5, by HermyLuna2 Chapter 1

1st May 2015:
First let me say I just love the subject matter. I think there was paid almost NO attention in the Harry Potter books on how the war affected the characters. So I'm glad you made a story about it.

I really like your characterization of Draco. You capture his personality perfectly here. At first I thought she meant that if he could tell her one sentence about his experience she would quit the meetings forever, indicating how much in denial he is. But she just meant that one day. "I don't just feel it, I relive it all the time" was a strong sentence.It was also a bit vague, because you can't feel events, but I like that about it. I also liked the sentence Every time he was forced to look someone in the eye and kill them, he felt a small part of his soul die, never to come back. Poor Draco, he's just as much of a victim who has still too much of a heart left for being a Death Eater and you portrayed that wonderfully. He's doubly wounded, because of the realisation how horrible the world is, and his own contribution to it.

I usually don't like it when characters that aren't Squibs, Muggles or Muggle-borns suddenly start using Muggle stufff and begin doing Muggle things, except when it's with hilarious, exaggerated cluelessness (such as with mr. Weasley). However, you gave Draco a good explanation for lowering himself to something Muggle, and it makes sense. I think Draco is taught to be quite lazy, so chosing the easy way out with, what are they? benzo's? is true to his character.I like how you made him ashamed of it. However, I do wonder how he knew that they existed at all, where to get them etc.

Why didn't Draco want to admit that he was already looking for a job? And what I assume about Draco is that all his dreams are shattered if he used to want to occupy a high function in the Ministry. Unless that wasn't really his own wish and more the wish of his father. But either way, I think that needs to be elaborated a bit more. I get that this will probably be the case later in the story, but I don't think that Draco, for whom status and wealth used to be so important, could think lightly about his mental health and a changed social climate forcing him to settle for a simple job. Also, him allowing himself to be ordered around and having the patience/interest to read a random Alice copy from a stranger is a HUGE change in attitude - of course we get from the text that it's probably Draco's shame and regret that made him this humble. Stating such things outright is, in my opinion, very bad, so good job on avoiding that, on using the age-old cliché of showing instead of telling. But right now, it seems as if Draco has always been this way, so you could maybe give a hint about his development here.

I simply LOVE the way you have made Draco react to Hermione and vice versa, and the bit of suspense you added with having Draco 'accidentally' watch Hermione cry. I'm really curious what will happen in the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you SO much for this review. I know I'm really delayed in responding, but I can't convey properly how much it meant to me when I got it. I started the story while we were talking about PTSD in one of my Psychology classes [psych minor] and then my wonderful beta is a ph.d psych student. So it was really the best of both worlds for getting some of the characterization on that right.

And you hit the nail on the head for every question as you talked about it. As to him reading the book - in my head, as I wrote it, it was more of the child like curiosity coming out. I don't think I go into detail, but in my head, Draco always had his childhood cut sort of short, so now that he doesn't have his father to please and his therapist is telling him to just be himself. He's kind of reverting back to some of that behavior. =)


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Review #6, by bittersweetflames Chapter 1

19th March 2015:
Hiya, Cassie. I made your banner and I am here to review. You definitely don't have enough reviews, I'm thinking so I'm here in support of the HPFF Fundraiser Event! Woo!

Anyway, I really love the descriptions you've used here to describe Draco. It's haunting because he seems so broken and alone and haunted. His Healer, you can see that his Healer really wants to help but it's obvious that it would take more than mandated sessions with a Healer to get Draco to get out of the deep hole that he has sunk in. That said, it's horrific the way that he doesn't just REMEMBER all the horrible things that happened to him or that he happened to witness during the war but that he actually RELIVES them must be like being stuck in a circle of hell or something equally monstrously horrible.

When you had Draco look for a job I thought, ok so Malfoy is going to look for a job, eh? And the way you made him have a manual job seems perfect -- after all, hard physical labor always seems to manage to drive away difficult memories. BUT ALAS! Nothing as simple as that. You insert Hermione Granger into the mix. Their interaction is classic. They're both clearly hurting but that they'd inflict pain onto one another is so ingrained it feels as though it has a healing effect on the two of them to talk normally to one another.

I was left feeling intrigued as to why Hermione and Ron's relationship in that small snippet you showed us was less than ideal and Draco's reaction to the whole thing, of course.

Beautifully done, darling. :)

--Carla

Author's Response: meow meow meow -jinx cat walks around-
I need sleep
I fell asleep watching The Voice
merp.

And thank you so much for the review ♥ ♥ I love know what people are thinking when they read the chapters ^.^


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Review #7, by Rintunes Chapter 2

23rd June 2013:
Sorry it took me so long to check back for your next chapter! I've been way too busy for my liking lately. Anyway, I loved it! Yeah, it was short, but there are always short chapters at some points, so it's fine.

You're so descriptive with Hermione's emotions and you backed her emotions up with reasons. Her feelings were valid; they weren't over reactive or under reactive to her situation. She had so many different things roiling inside of her that it made her seem more real as a character.

What surprised me was how bad it sounds between Ron and Hermione. I usually imagine their relationship as being a bit rocky, since they never got along at Hogwarts, but I never imagined it like this. It's great though, I love your take on how they would become after the war.

The only constructive criticism I have is that the dialogue is kind of choppy. I know that it's supposed to be very blunt and angry because they're fighting, but even when characters are angry the dialogue should seem natural.

Overall, this addition was superb and I'm really looking forward to the next update. Thank you so much for writing!

~Rintunes

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing again! It means a lot - and I'm glad you enjoyed it! And thank you - I hope this portrayal of them doesn't make people made! I back it up more in the next chapter from Hermione's POV, so I hope people will understand!

I'm almost done with the third chapter right now - I have one 'scene' left in the chapter to write before sending it to my beta and posting it! I hope to hear from you then!


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Review #8, by Rintunes Chapter 1

16th June 2013:
That was an excellent chapter. Really, a great beginning to the story. I love Draco so far; he's believable, has endless character flaws with emotions that we can relate to, and doesn't want to talk in therapy (I thought that was funny in a tragic sort of way).

Because I've had issues with drinking in the past, and I don't know if you've had issues with it or not, I appreciated the way that you portrayed Draco's emotions while he was drinking, then the flashbacks that he had. His emotions were just so real, they weren't two-dimensional; you could tell that he needed the escape that alcohol can sometimes bring you. So thank you for making him seem more real as a character.

To add more on the flashbacks, those were very good too. I don't know if Voldemort would have sighed or dealt with the old man himself, but that's just your interpretation of the character. It was awful that you had Draco killing children, but it just showed how merciless and cruel his time under Voldemort's rule was.

I also liked the fact that you didn't make Hermione like, trust, or even attempt to be tolerant of Draco in the first chapter. Though the war is over, they haven't needed or wanted to find trust in each other. Now, maybe they'll have to.

The fight between Hermione and Ron was intriguing. Since we don't know if they're a couple in your story, we don't know if it's a couple fight or if it's because the broke up or if it's something to do with their friends... sorry, rambling, but I'm super interested in what conflict you're going to put between them. And if Draco is going to help Hermione or not.

Gah! I'm really excited to read the next chapter and I hope you update soon! Thanks for writing!

~Rintunes

Author's Response: Thank you! Draco has always been one of my favorite characters, so portraying him in an accurate way is important to me.

And I did write from experience there - I used alcohol to escape from my mother's illness (cancer), so I understand everything about that. And you are welcome - I'm glad we have both been able to over come our problems.

Thank you so much for this review! It was very detailed and means a lot - I have my own secrets up my sleeve for this story =) And I already have ideas for a sequel to this story - I'm afraid it'll leave a lot of things up in the air.

The next chapter is waiting for validation! It isn't quite as long, but I hope it is still as good! I'm working on the next chapter now.

Cassie


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Review #9, by MargaretLane Chapter 1

10th June 2013:
You've talked about a sleeping drought at one point. I assume you mean a sleeping draught.

Really like the way you portray his flashbacks. It makes sense that he'd be affected by what he was forced to do and what he witnessed.

I also like the fact that he was forced to see a psychologist because the Ministry wants to make sure he can be trusted. Considering how they trusted people like Lucius in the past and turned out to be badly mistaken, that makes a lot of sense.

I'm not sure how the wizarding world works, obviously, but the comment about him planning on going to "school" seemed a bit out of place. After all, he's an adult. He's finished school. I know that in the U.S., people sometimes use "school" to mean "college", but I don't think they do in England and the wizarding world doesn't really seem to have universities exactly. Percy went straight into the Ministry from school, after all. I'd be inclined to say something more like "eventually he hoped to train to do something more in the wizarding world".

It's interesting that he's taking Muggle sleeping pills, but I think it works well. It kind of indicates another change in his thinking.

I also like the way Ron and Hermione don't trust him immediately. I'm guessing they'll begin to see he's changed as time passes, but it's the sort of thing that should develop gradually and it looks like it will. Or of course, I could be wrong and they might never come to trust him at all, which would make sense too, considering everything he's been involved in over the years.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I had not caught those and thank you so much - I'm waiting on my beta to read the story and get back to me, but I wanted to begin posting the story because of the length it takes to validate them at times. Again, thank you so much for the review! It means the world.

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