Reading Reviews for The Four Horsemen
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AlexFan The White Horse

27th September 2014:
Story Search Round 1

OH MY GOD THIS IS SO SHORT BUT SO GOOD AND I REALLY WISH THERE WAS A SECOND CHAPTER. I love Victoire, she kind of reminds of Lady Macbeth with her ruthlessness. I love how she's this take charge sort of girl who knows exactly how much power she holds. She knows that she's beautiful and she knows how much power her beauty lends her. Others might consider her vain but I absolutely love this about Victoire. I also really like how so unattached she is to things, I don't why I like it, that's perhaps not such a desirable trait but I really really love that about Victoire. She's ambitious and she gets what she wants even if the things that she does to get there are unethical. The more I think about her the more Machiavellian she appears.

She does what she wants and she doesn't care what anyone says about her. Be the innocent flower on the outside but the serpent underneath (I don't have Macbeth memorized my teacher has just been saying this a lot lately).

I really loved your prose in this as well, you just set up the scene and the character really nicely and everything just helped me understand Victoire more and more as a character. I really look forward to see what her role in this story is.


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Review #2, by academica The White Horse

6th November 2013:
Here again for the Ravenclaw Review Battle! :)

Wow, what an unusual concept for a story! I love the creative spin you've put on the next gen kids. I'm also very curious about what kind of evil plan Victoire has in place in her quest to become Conquest. Poor Teddy has no idea what he's about to get himself into, and not lightly!

I also really liked your description in this chapter. The contrast between Victoire's fair, beautiful features and her dark intentions was interesting. I'm curious now about who else will step forward to become the other horsemen.

Good work! Hope you write more soon!


Author's Response: Hey Amanda!

I'm glad you thought that the story was unique. I think that Mythology, Religion and History are excellent goldmines for writers who desperately need a plot. The Four Horsemen is an interesting concept which really motivated me to put my own twist on it.

Victoire was the perfect person for Conquest, what with her Veela heritage. Veelas were supposed to be deceptively beautiful, so she just seemed to be a natural choice.

The other Horsemen will be revealed in the next chapters (once I get down to writing them). Thank you so much for the review!

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Review #3, by UnluckyStar57 The White Horse

3rd July 2013:
Hi! I'm here for the review battle! :)

I really loved the concept of this story, and I can't wait to see who the other three characters will be!

In this chapter, I thought it was really cool how you wrote Victoire as an independent, conquering sort of person. It's so typical to see her as a lover of Teddy, with no real reason except that "that's the way it's supposed to be." This is different and cool because she doesn't seem like she's actually in love with him. She just wants to win, and she knows that she can.

I hope you update this story very soon! I will definitely be back for more!! :)


Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked the story. Victoire's character is based the idea of conquest so I'm glad you liked her. It is a bit different from a majority of stories that I've read on the archives and it sort of brings out a new side to Victoire's personality. I do hope you continue to read the story as it (eventually) progresses. :)
Thanks again for the great review!

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Review #4, by 800 words of heaven The White Horse

1st July 2013:

I clicked on this story because as I finished reading the summary, I was like "what NOW?" I hate being left out of the loop, so I just had to click!

From your foreword, the concept seems really interesting and fresh! I find myself incredibly intrigued!

As I started reading your description of Victoire, was thinking to myself, "here we go again," but your last line was very captivating. I think it definitely brought something different to her character, and really added a dark tone to the piece.

So is Victoire supposed to be as shallow as she sounds? She views relationships as conquests, and seems rather self-obsessed, but then on the other hand, she's scared of getting married, and of commitment. Is she hiding her fear of attachment? Or does she genuinely think about people in such callous terms? All these questions, to me, make a rather intriguing and possibly complex character of her!

I really liked the way you've used the symbolism of the quote at the beginning throughout the chapter. She's wearing a white dress, and will be donning a "golden crown". I think it really strengthens the connections you're trying to make.

The way you've personified the four horsemen make the characters something more than human, for me. You've written them as the perfect embodiments of these archetypes, without excess human baggage, so to speak. Personally, I find the idea stylistically appealing! Excellent job on the first chapter! Hope to read some more soon!

Author's Response: You know, when I right something for the Review Tag, it's never more than two paragraphs. Imagine my surprise when I found this unbelievably awesome review for my story. I actually went to the forums to check whether I had requested a review from you or not ;)

I'm glad you find this story intriguing. I'm dealing with some pretty complicated concepts in this story. Your questions are more than welcome!

Victoire is turning out to be a darker character that I expected, but her personality plays an important role in defining what "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" means to me.

Thank you for your brilliant review and I'm rather ashamed that I took this long to respond. I hope you continue to read the story as it progresses :)

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Review #5, by adluvshp The White Horse

24th June 2013:
Hey! Here for your requested review from the forums. Apologies for the delay!

This certainly seems like a very unique and interesting piece of writing. Your plot concept is something I've never come across in fanfiction before, and I like your choice of characters. This first chapter was definitely a great setting for the rest of the story.

Your characterisation of Victoire is quite interesting and I like her portrayal as this beautiful woman who is actually quite dark on the inside. Your descriptions of her beauty, of her thoughts, of what she wants, was all very captivating and I am very interested to see what kind of events unfold further.

As I said before, your descriptions were amazing with great imagery. Certain sentences really stuck out to me, like "they were under her control, under an uncast spell." and "She would wear her golden crown, ruling over everyone with her charm." You really do have a way with words. I can already envision her in the role you've fit her in, so great job.

I don't have any constructive criticism to offer you as this seems pretty much flawless. I am loving your storyline and this chapter has definitely intrigued me to read further so I am favouriting the story and will be tracking updates.

Great start to what seems like a very promising story! Keep writing xD I am so glad you requested and I had the pleasure to read this amazing piece of work. Update soon.


Author's Response: Oh. Wow. You have no idea how elated I am after reading your review!

I was a bit hesitant about writing on a topic like this, simply because of religious issues and hence the detailed foreword. You have put these feelings to rest and I'm so grateful for that.

Conquest, according to the New Testament is the first horsemen and Victoire seemed perfect for that role. The words seemed to flow rather freely after I envisioned her for that role.

I'm glad that certain lines stuck out to you, you seemed to have pinpointed my favourite ones. ;)

Flawless?! This story? My eyes bulged when I read that line. I don't want to gush, though I could go on for hours, but thank you so much for that.

To sum it up, this review has given my the occasion to jump up and down in my chair with excitement. Thanks once again and I hope that you continue to read the story as it progresses!


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