Reading Reviews for The Heir Accedes
  
20 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MyMyMiss The Heir Accedes

7th March 2014:
Hey hun,

I have just read this little one - shot of yours and I must it was brilliant. I have never actually thought of what it as like for Tom to see himself as 'rising' to his throne and through the stages he needed to take to get there, so you painted a really clear and nice picture for me to read and see which was really nice (:

“I am your master. I am the Heir of Slytherin.” I loved this line, I thought it was such a lovely touch to throw in there, I could picture him standing there commanding people, even at his youth, because that's always what he wanted, was to be the leader - the powerful one who people obeyed and whom he had control over, it's what he always wanted and I could see the picture really clearly in my head.

You've done a great job hun, keep up the good writing!! :)

~MMM

~Blackout battle round 2.

Author's Response: Hello, MyMyMiss!

I'm so pleased that you liked this! I was always curious about the sort of person Tom Riddle would have been when he was young, especially for him to become Voldemort. The last few books shed some light on that but this moment always intrigued me, and I'm pleased I painted a clear picture for you.

That line was one of my favourites in this piece, I think. The command and self-confidence, knowing how good he is, was something I really wanted to get across. Even here he knows what he will become.

Thank you for reviewing and good luck in the Bingo!


 Report Review

Review #2, by lady_devil The Heir Accedes

7th March 2014:
For the Blackout Bingo!

Hey there!

I totally love your story about Voldemort when he still was Tom and opening the Chamber of Secrets for the first time! Wonderful, perfect and amazing!

You really captured Tom in character very well and you showed that in words. He was that charming boy everyone saw him as - prefect, well mannered, top student, etc. Masking his real intentions and what he real was like underneath. As for the story as a whole, I have always been curious about Tom Riddle's first time and you made his first time opening the chamber captivating right down to the last line he says 'I am your master. I am the Heir of Slytherin'

Author's Response: Hello!

Ah, thank you so much! That's such a compliment for me to hear (or read, I guess :P)

I'm glad you think I captured Tom well here. It was surprisingly easy to get into his way of thinking, but I did a lot of planning before to make sure that I knew which aspects of his character were important to include at this time in his life. I was curious too, so I'm glad you enjoyed my version of it!

Thank you for the review and good luck in the Bingo!


 Report Review

Review #3, by LG655 The Heir Accedes

9th January 2014:
Review Tag!

Woah, I'm speechless. I really liked this! Especially the suspense. You had the reader sitting in anticipation, as you explained Tom's wanting and dedication to opening the Chamber. And then the ending. Two sentences, and it was a great way to end it. I'm surprised you only got 3rd place! You didn't just end it like most, where he enters the chamber and yadda yadda, useless info. You ended it with the line that, shapes the story, in a way. I wished there was a continuation to this! (:

xox,
LG

Author's Response: Hello!

Wow, thank you very much! I'm really glad I managed to make this suspenseful and tense, because I think that's the way Tom would have felt as he got closer to opening the Chamber, as well as strangely excited - but then, he's Tom Riddle! It was quite fun in a way to get into his head. I'm pleased you liked the ending too! I always try to end in a powerful place, so I'm glad it worked here.

Ah, that's really too kind! If you have time I'd definitely recommend checking out the stories that won first and second in this challenge because they're amazing and a great read :)

Thanks again for the great review!


 Report Review

Review #4, by MissesWeasley123 The Heir Accedes

22nd December 2013:
"Cake..." echoed the hiss.

Smiling, Tom Riddle spoke once more. "I am your master. I am WISHING YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY OMG."

:D
*pops confetti*

And SHARN, HOW?

Tom is just beautiful. I mean, he is lol *swoons* but the way you wrote him was very nice as well. He's perfect, and brilliant;y written. Pompous and arrogant - you just got into his mind so wonderfully. It was twisted the way he works, and just amazing too. The excitement he was feeling was sick and chilling as well, also - can you please write more of him? I will persuade you if it's the last thing I do. Write a novella or a novel on him. Do it. Seriously. DO IT.

I loved how he was rather disgusted on how the chamber was in a girls' bathroom, and I found it really funny because you would think he wouldn't care.

I thought this was really powerful:

After the effort he had expended to reach this point, he mused how ridiculously easy it had been for him to slip away tonight.

I don't know why, but I loved that part. Maybe it was his arrogance... but I might have fallen in love with him there. Only because I loved the way his mind worked It was crazy! He's so twisted but I like the dark humour he has, and it's so WEIRD BUT I DON'T KNOW OKAY.

:( *pouts* He was just so charming in your piece,, because he was still cruel... but so intelligent and complex.

Great piece!

Author's Response: Nadia! ♥ A birthday review! You made my day with this, I'm sorry I'm so late replying!

Tom is not beautiful, he's a horrible, horrible person! Should I be worried about the way I managed to get into his mind? I feel like I should be worried. Does that make me a bit crazy too? But you like the characterisation and that's a good thing, so I'm happy with that!

Nyargh! You know my commitment issues when it comes to writing! A novella or novel based on Tom Riddle is not top on my list of things to write, unless I suddenly become like super fast overnight and have tons of time to right...

His arrogance was something I really tried to convey here, and I'm glad you liked it. Not good that you fell in love with him though... bad Nadia! No falling for horrible Tom Riddle!

I think he was charming here, though - we saw that in the memories - but it was a mask for his cruelty which allowed him to get what he wanted.

Thank youuu! ♥


 Report Review

Review #5, by randomwriter The Heir Accedes

30th September 2013:
Sian :) Hi!

I don't know how you manage to do this over and over again! I take my metaphorical hat off to you!

First of all, Tome Riddle- PERFECT characterization. His arrogance practically seeps out of this piece. You've understood him so well. The writing style that you've adopted also hints at superiority, which I think is a very cleaver way of writing this. It's so apt. I also like how we talks about the people that he is connected to. For example, when it comes to his friends, he's least bothered. In fact, he sees no better purpose for them and appreciates that they blindly follow him. Another example is Salazar Slytherin and the kind of admiration he feels for him, especially because of his views on blood status. You've done this so well, and it is completely consistent with his character.

As I mentioned before, I think you've written this very well. It was very clever, using a superior tone that exudes dominance and authority. It's a very nice way of telling story as it is about Riddle and I can imagine that he would have thought in the same way as this.

The fact that he spent 5 years looking tirelessly, shows exactly how obsessed he was with the whole idea of power and social hierarchy from the very beginning. It's a good look into his earlier stages of life and paves the way for how we see him in the books later. It's a very smooth transition.

I like how you ended this on a commanding note, and also how you began this with a comment about how little he thought of the surroundings. Everything adds to the perfection on this story and how you've written Tom Riddle.

Lastly, I must complement you because the thing that really struck me here (and when I read When the Axe Fell) was how you took on situations and story lines that have never been looked at. It's so original. Lend me your brain, Sian. You're very inspiring :)

Great job! I liked this :)

Author's Response: Hi Adi! Sorry I haven't replied to this sooner, but life got in the way a bit!

Wow, thank you so much! I wrote this for a challenge, and it definitely was challenging - since I love minor characters so much I was stepping out of my comfort zone to write someone like Tom Riddle! But I really wanted to try it when I got the idea for this story, and I'm glad you liked it!

You are so perceptive, and I always love getting reviews from you because you pick up on all the little things I've tried to include. The sense of superiority was something I tried hard to convey through the tone and style of the piece, and by including references to Slytherin and things like that.

For me, this is really the moment when Tom Riddle starts on the inevitable path to becoming Voldemort. Within a year of opening the chamber he'd gone on to kill his father and grandparents and make his first horcrux! I really wanted to explore this point in time and it was so fascinating to write about.

Thank you so much for this fantastic review! I'm going to end up with a big head from all your lovely compliments!

Sian :)


 Report Review

Review #6, by Anne_noymous The Heir Accedes

13th August 2013:
very good, you have got tom riddle perfectly. just a couple of typos but very enjoyable and dark

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked my characterisation of Tom Riddle! I'll have a look over for those typos. Thank you for the review!

 Report Review

Review #7, by HeyMrsPotter The Heir Accedes

28th June 2013:
Hello! I'm FINALLY here with your third and final review :)

Once again, words fail me, I love love love LOVE your stories and this one is no different.

Your characterisation of Tom is absolutely perfect. He's arrogant, intelligent and has a huge sense of superiority. I liked his total detachment from his friends, how he referred to them as followers.

What I really loved about this is how much research Tom did into the chamber as soon as he heard the stories. It was almost as though he forced himself to be the heir of Slytherin, destiny or not!

I also loved the bit about relating to Salazar Slytherin, this is exactly something I could imagine Voldemort thinking, that someone's views on blood status is what he relates to ultimately, rather than their abilities as a witch or wizard.

Again, I'm rambling and gushing but I just can't help myself. I'm really glad you entered my challenge and that I had the opportunity to read some of your work. I'll definitely continue to read your stories!

Author's Response: Hello!

Words fail me whenever I receive your wonderful reviews, and I have to try to stop gushing about how amazing you are!

I'm so pleased that you liked my characterisation of Tom. He's the most complex and well-known character that I've written about so far, which made it difficult, so it's reassuring to know that I did it well. He's always seemed incapable of understanding emotions and relationships, so I can't believe that he ever really had friends.

I agree with you that he almost forces himself to be the heir of Slytherin, maybe more because he believes it's his destiny and that he deserves it, and perhaps because he believes that nobody else is worthy of the title.

I'm rambling on as well, this is such a fantastic review! Thank you very much!

Sian :)


 Report Review

Review #8, by Cossettely The Heir Accedes

21st June 2013:
What an interesting tale depicting the first of many of Tom Riddle's "accomplishments" in ridding the world of those he deemed unworthy. I suppose I had never thought all that much about Tom Riddle's actual discovery of the chamber, rather, I just envisioned the results.

I think this might be how your Tom thinks as well: he thinks about results, and considers the process to achieve his result to be relatively unimportant. The way your Tom thinks about looking in pages and pages of books just for one thing reveals his single-minded determination that will later be his undoing. Throughout the story, sprinkles of arrogance define his stubborn resolve of his own superiority. These things contribute to your characterization of Tom Riddle, which seems quite believable. I think one of the biggest mistakes of Tom Riddle writers is to accidentally portray him as weak or soft, but you do no such thing, which I admire.

I especially like that you used the words "slowly unravelled the tangled web, pulling away the silky threads that concealed the truth" in your description of the quest to find the Chamber because it mirrors Harry and Ron's attempts to find it far in the future. Follow the spiders, hm? I don't know if that was intentional or not, but your writing seems so deliberate that I cannot help but think that it was.

Overall, I was quite impressed by your sinister rendition of the young Dark Lord and by your well thought out descriptions surrounding his actions. The verbs you chose as well as the phrasing helped to convey a sense of determination and domination by Tom Riddle.

Extremely well done, and cheers!

- Cossettely

Author's Response: Hello!

I'd never actually thought about this moment either until I entered the challenge, but it sparked the inspiration to write this and I couldn't resist.

I think you're right about Tom - he only focuses on the results, in as far as they concern the power he can gain, and doesn't care much about what he has to do to get there. He doesn't care much about whether opening the Chamber might be a bad idea, though, because he can profit from it and it will show his superiority. I'm really pleased you found my characterisation of him believable, since I've never written such a complex or well known character before.

I think you're the first person to pick up on the use of those words - but yes, it was done deliberately! I wondered if people would make that link as I wrote it, and it's great to have perceptive readers like you who notice those things!

Thank you so much for this amazing review!

Sian :)


 Report Review

Review #9, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing The Heir Accedes

21st June 2013:
Hello hello!

I absolutely loved this one shot. It was kind of chilling but you wrote it so well! Tom Riddle can't be an easy person to get into the mind set of but wow, you did an amazing job!

There were a few details that really set his character into place for me. The first was his disdain that the chamber was in a bathroom. He really doesn't seem impressed that something of such gradeur should be there.

Another was his obsession to find and then open the chamber. After hearing about it then spending 5 years looking for it just shows how obsessive he is. I also loved the fact that he didn't think twice about opening the chamber, Even after the research and knowing what kind of monster is down there he didn't stop to think, hmm maybe this is a bad idea. Perfect characterisation!

Lastly I loved that he already considers his "friends" followers and that he thinks they're completely worthless. Again, perfect characterisation of the monster he's going to become.

This was such a well written one-shot that I'm so glad I got the chance to read! You really wrote Tom well and gave us a great "missing moment" scene!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hi Lauren!

I've never tried to write such a complex or well known character before, so this was a challenge for me, but I had a lot of fun writing it.

I'm so pleased you think that I got his characterisation right! The detail about the bathroom struck me as something that he definitely wouldn't be impressed with, so I had to include it once I thought about it.

Tom doesn't really think about the consequences of his actions, not when he has the chance to gain more power. I think this moment is quite pivotal in his transformation, since within a year he kills his family and makes the first Horcrux. The books might have been quite different if he had thought of the consequences before he opened the Chamber!

Thank you for such a brilliant review - this made my day!

Sian :)


 Report Review

Review #10, by CassiePotter The Heir Accedes

17th June 2013:
Hi Sian!
I thought I would stop by and read something of yours today! I'm so glad that I picked this one-shot! It was so well-written! I loved getting into Tom's head a little bit, and really seeing him experience something he cared about, because we don't see that side of him often. It did creep me out a little, though. It's just weird to picture him smiling so much! The fact that he's so passionate about finding the chamber, and about unleashing the monster, is pretty frightening if you think about it, and I think you did a wonderful job of capturing his obsession with it without downplaying anything. If he spends five years looking for something, finding it has to be more than just a goal. You really showed Tom's fascination with the chamber, and his desire for power. The part when he was talking about his followers was just so perfect, I got chills reading it! It was spot on for Tom's character!
This one-shot was really awesome, and I loved reading it! Wonderful job! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hi Cassie! I always love getting your reviews so thank you for stopping by!

It was kind of weird trying to get into Tom Riddle's head to write this - it's not the nicest place to be! I agree that it's strange to imagine Tom Riddle smiling so much, but he's the sort of person who would be happy at the prospect of opening the chamber and unleashing the monster within. His obsession is frightening, just like Voldy is later on.

I'm really pleased you liked the part about his friends/followers, because I thought that part was very in character for him.

Thank you so much for this amazing review, and all the others you've left me!

Sian :)


 Report Review

Review #11, by Jchrissy The Heir Accedes

17th June 2013:
Hi darling! I read through this when matching up review exchanges and became really interested.

I don't think many people are brave enough to write Tom Riddle, understandably so. I think he'd be a nightmare of a character to get right, and you did such an awesome job with it.

His clean kind of thought process -- no grey area attitude -- real sealed the deal for me. He wasn't concerned about what opening the chamber would do, didn't think twice if he would be able to control it, just went in with no other idea than him being the one that possessed the power and blood to be able to do this. His obsession with certain things is what we eventually see will be how downfall, so showing here that same way he become obsessed really made him feel like a realistic de-aged Voldemort.

I loved the detail you went into showing how he'd gotten that far. Especially his thoughts about how his 'friends' dimness was useful, because we see him later surround himself with easily controlled and manipulated souls.

This was another really great story, my dear! I really loved the look into such an already disturbed human being. Your writing was smooth and lovely as always!!

Author's Response: Jami, you're really spoiling me with these lovely reviews!

This was for the challenge on the forums, and I think otherwise I wouldn't have been brave enough to write such a well-known and complex character. I had to put a lot of thought into him but I'm pleased you think I got it right!

His obsession with power and sense of his own self-importance were two of the things I wanted to convey in this story, because I think those characteristics would have been part of his personality even from an early age. I'm so happy you picked up on the mention of his 'friends' because that is exactly what I intended when I mentioned them.

Thank you so much for this great review!

Sian :)


 Report Review

Review #12, by sillylion The Heir Accedes

16th June 2013:
Oh my! I have to say it is a job well done and an amazing scene to write about. Your character is spot on and the flow is incredible
keep it up,
sl

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm pleased you liked my characterisation of Riddle and the scene I picked! Thank you very much for the review!

Sian :)


 Report Review

Review #13, by LilyEPotter The Heir Accedes

3rd June 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

You showed very nicely how much Riddle didn't care for human interaction and didn't want friends. That even though people would believe they were his friends, he only saw them as followers.

There was one item that was ambiguous that I saw. You mentioned early in the story that it had taken him 5 years to find the entrance, but 3 years of searching the castle. Which would leave 1 year of researching the mystery because he opened the chamber in the first part of his 4th/5th year (since he is 2 years older than Hagrid who was expelled in his 3rd year and it would depend on Riddle's birthday).

It was funny to read his reaction to the entrance being in a girl's bathroom. Since the castle changes itself through the centuries, wonder if it was a completely different room to begin with?

Great story!

Author's Response: Hello!

Yes, I wanted to show how detached Riddle was from other people, and that he only ever saw his 'friends' as people to serve him. I can't imagine he'd be happy with something so magnificent being located in a girl's bathroom, so that's why I included that. I'm glad you liked it!

From the research I did Riddle only opened the Chamber around May in his fifth year, which means that he'd been at the school for nearly five years; I decided that it would have taken him some time to work out what was inside and then three years actually searching for the entrance.

Thank you for the review!

Sian :)


 Report Review

Review #14, by Lululuna The Heir Accedes

28th May 2013:
Hello my dear! :)

I like this a lot, and you did a really good job of getting into Riddle's head. I've never really read a story about his finding the chamber before, and I loved the meticulous description you put into it. Any other teenager would have given up after the first bathroom, but only Voldy would be determined to keep searching until he found what he desired. Even the writing style, which was very cold and almost scientific, perfectly complimented him as a character and a voice. There wasn't a word out of place, and I feel like that represents Riddle well: he would never waste a word or thought on anything deemed unworthy.

I really enjoyed his distaste from having to be in a girl's bathroom. I wonder, why did Slytherin put it there anyway? I guess while Voldy loves collecting significant and important objects, Slytherin could have been a little more subtle, especially when planting a giant snake somewhere in the school. Even though he relates with Slytherin, they're not completely alike.

I enjoyed the Hermione link as well with reference to pouring over books in the library. Of course, Riddle wanted it for a much more sinister purpose.

My only CC for you is that I want more! While the piece is wonderfully concise and complete, I would have liked a little more detail about the searching for the chamber, and perhaps specifics about the research he did and his thoughts about Slytherin. But then again, I just really enjoy your writing so it's only natural to want more of it! :D Great work!

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm so glad you like it! I wanted the writing style to reflect Tom's character - distant and detached. I haven't read a story about him discovering the Chamber either, but for me this is really the point when he begins the real transformation into Voldemort, because much more atrocious things quickly follow this.

(Also, I love how you call him Voldy! If everyone had used that name instead of You-Know-Who, he'd have seemed a lot less scary, wouldn't he?)

I really couldn't imagine Tom Riddle being satisfied with something so brilliant (in his eyes, at least) being located somewhere like a girl's bathroom. He loved shows of his power and proof of his magical heritage, so in that way he probably was a bit different from his illustrious ancestor. You're really very perceptive, you know! I'm pleased you picked up on the parallels with Hermione here.

You're so sweet to me! But those were areas I was actually intending to look back on and add more detail to, so when I get a chance there's going to be some editing done!

Thank you for a brilliant review!

Sian :)


 Report Review

Review #15, by Violet Gryfindor The Heir Accedes

27th May 2013:
Here from review tag. :) This is an excellent one-shot!

It's great to see a story like this because it's one moment in Riddle's life that people don't write about, for some reason. There are many more stories about Myrtle's death or his later murders, but this is actually the beginning of Voldemort, when he claims his place as Heir of Slytherin and the power that title offers. Without that title, he still would still have been formidable, but it also gives him a heritage and a basis for his hold over his fellow Slytherins. Riddle always relies on what others can do for him, and in this case, he needs the basilisk to strike fear into others and rid Hogwarts of the "mudbloods and filth". It's something I've always found interesting about JKR's characterization of her villain - characters act surprised when Voldemort kills someone himself and his followers are always leaping to serve him. You capture this sense of superiority very well in this story, how Voldemort looks down his nose at everything, even those devoted to him.

It's style is very precise, almost scientific in its level of detail and lack of emotion - it's perfect for a story about Tom Riddle, giving readers the chance to see how his mind works, how it catalogues the surrounding world without having much of a reaction to it. He feels impatience and distaste, then pleasure at the thought of taking his place as Heir, but otherwise he's distant in a rather disturbing way, as though he's not capable of feeling, certainly not sympathy or empathy. Even his comment about mudbloods feels like a throw-away line - he simply wants them gone and out of his way. It comes back to his belief that he is better than others, all others except for Slytherin - only he, as "mighty", is defined in superior terms to Riddle.

I really liked his distaste at discovering the entrance to the Chamber in a girl's lavatory. It was a fantastic way of beginning the story, revealing so much about Riddle in a single paragraph. (On a side note, it's curious how your point about Riddle's lack of interest in girls mirrors the one in OotP about Sirius - it's a link that would be lots of fun to explore.) It makes me wonder how the Chamber entrance came to be there - the faucet would have been added by a later Heir (unless wizards took the idea of indoor plumbing from the Romans :P). A girl's lavatory would be an unlikely location, to be sure, but this kind of logic doesn't occur to Riddle - he thinks much too highly of himself and the legend of Slytherin.

You've put so much into this one-shot, wow! I could keep going, but there wouldn't really be a point to it other than to indulge in my love of over-analysis. This is a wonderful examination of Riddle's character at this moment in time, filling in a considerable gap in the canon and in fanfction. It's very well-written with a careful attention to style and diction that makes me an incredibly happy reader. Amazing work!

Author's Response: Hi!

Since this is for the Tom Riddle challenge and we had to write about a moment that was important in his transformation to Lord Voldemort, I thought this really fit. Like you, I've always thought that this is the moment when his transformation really began; within a year he'll have murdered his family and created his first Horcrux. I think that his status as the Heir of Slytherin really helps him to gain power.

You're so perceptive, and I love getting reviews from readers who pick up on almost every little thing I put into a story! I wanted him to come across as detached and removed from emotion - in my mind, he'd never had the chance to learn those emotions, and by the time he reached Hogwarts it was too late to learn something like that.

I put a lot of thought into the opening paragraph, and I'm so pleased that you thought it was a good way to begin. I've always wondered how the entrance came to be there, but I thought I'd leave that one to other people to ponder for now :P Now that you mention it, the parallels with Sirius would be really fun to explore!

You know, this review just made my day. I'm so glad that you like the style and enjoyed the one-shot - thank you so much!

Sian :)


 Report Review

Review #16, by Aphoride The Heir Accedes

27th May 2013:
Hey there - dropping your requested review off from the forums! I was so glad to see you re-request - I really enjoyed your last one-shot.

You know, it's kinda ironic you asked me to look at this for you, since I'm in the process of planning/starting a Tom Riddle novel, which will include this moment as well. So yeah, I was curious to read this as soon as you posted it :)

I love the way you write him. He's not quite Voldemort yet, he's not quite at that point, and he's not doing anything hugely dastardly in this, but you've still grasped his voice well. He's definitely /him/, if you know what I mean. He's clever, he's cunning, he has ideas about how things should be, he's arrogant... it's really, really great - he's quite a tricky character to pin down (at least, I think he is, lol), so you've done well to get him down this well!

Your description is great. It's only a short one-shot, and only a short set of moments which you're writing about, so you don't need loads of description, but you've got the perfect amount here. It's all so lovely as well (I liked the use of 'drip-drip-drip'), and it seems like you've taken care to highlight the things he would notice, you know, rather than just blankly describing everything.

I liked how you used everything we know about the Chamber of Secrets - the creature inside, the legends about it - and spun it around Tom, so you get a sense that he has worked to find this out, it's something he's actively searched for and wanted, you know? It's not just something which dropped into his lap, he had to do something to get it. I also liked the parallels, in my mind at least, between Tom and Hermione, with him working out that the snake used the piping, or probably would were it awake. It was a faintly chilling moment and kinda reminded me that he's not a just a bloodthirsty maniac bent on killing Harry, he's also very, very clever.

Your style was great. You wrote his voice excellently, you included exactly the right things in exactly the right amounts. I liked the inclusion of the Parseltongue and the way you didn't explain what it was so - since this is in Tom's voice, it would have been odd if you had. The last line was brilliant. It just really summed him up totally, and sort of connects with what we know from canon, you know? It was the perfect place to end it.

This was really great, I really enjoyed reading it! Please feel free to re-request whenever you want! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi!

You're writing a Tom Riddle novel? That sounds brilliant! The characterisation was my major worry in this story because - with my preference for minor characters - I've never tackled such a major character before and I was really worried about getting him right. I'm so pleased that you think he sounded like him, and that you managed to see all the elements of his character I wanted to convey.

You picked up on the parallels between Tom and Hermione! That makes me so happy! I think that it's quite easy to forget that he is exceptionally intelligent - after all, Harry found the Chamber in his second year, but there was a lot more information available for him than what Tom had access to.

And I really liked the last line - I was trying to show that he wasn't Voldemort yet, but that he has started the transformation with this. Within a year he'll have killed his family and made his first Horcrux, so I kind of felt this was a crucial moment.

I'm so glad that you enjoyed reading this, and I actually just re-requested for another one-shot (I've entered a lot of challenges recently :P) - thank you for the brilliant review!

Sian :)


 Report Review

Review #17, by adluvshp The Heir Accedes

24th May 2013:
Hey! Here for your requested review from the forums!

Wow, this was another amazing piece of writing! I am definitely enjoying reading your works.

I think you characterised Tom Riddle perfectly - something that no many authors can do well. The way you portrayed him and expressed his thoughts was very much in line with the canon Tom and I loved it.

The obsession with finding the Chamber, the thinking of his 'friends' as followers and liking their devotion, the arrogance, the pride, the glee, it was all very well done.

You maintained that air of darkness and foreboding really well, and I was completely captivated while reading. The descriptions were amazing too and I could imagine the scenario inside my head. Another great one-shot of yours that held my interest from the beginning to the end.

You are truly a talented writer and I am excited to read more of your writings so please feel free to re-request for another story. I don't have any CC to offer you again because really I can't find any faults. Great job!

10/10
Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hey Aditi!

The characterisation was my major worry in writing this story, because I've never attempted writing such a major character before, so it's fantastic to know that I kept Tom in character. You picked up on all the aspects of his personality that I wanted to convey here!

Oh, I'm so happy that you liked the descriptions! I put a lot of effort into them and I'm glad they were effective. And it's brilliant that you were interested throughout the story.

Thank you for such a lovely comment on my writing! I'm blushing like an idiot over here!

Sian :)


 Report Review

Review #18, by patronus_charm The Heir Accedes

23rd May 2013:
Hey Sian!

This line ‘He wasn’t interested in girls, although plenty of them were interested in him.’ ♥ Being a Tom/Minerva fan, I think that line describes why I love that pairing so much as he’s using her for emotional abuse or whatever and she’s in love with him. Ah their both such tortured souls in those stories. Ok I probably should get back to the story rather than my love for that pairing!

What I meant to say instead of going off on a tangent was that was some great character analysis and his little remarks throughout the rest of the story which showed that you really thought about Riddle before writing this, which isn’t something I can say for a lot of people when they try and tackle such a complex character like him.

I found his emotions regarding the chamber of secrets really interesting to read. He seemed to have a certain level of contempt towards the fact that the one thing left behind by Salazar was in a toilet and that he would have to deign to enter one. Then there was a bit of contempt and almost ridicule towards those who didn’t find it in the past and that was really interesting to read.

I could also sense a little joy at finding it and being able to get into it due to this line ‘Smiling, Tom Riddle spoke once more. “I am your master. I am the Heir of Slytherin.”‘ You wouldn’t usually associate the feeling of happiness with Tom Riddle so that was a really interesting thing to see. It was fitting and the way you built up the rest of the story made it a believable one too.

Ooh I really liked this line too ‘His friends – or rather his followers, for they already obeyed him blindly’ ♥ I liked the fact that he seemed to recognise that they were his followers and the way he ridiculed the way they followed him around. It shows the extreme detachment he felt with everyone and it echoed the part about the girls at the beginning of the chapter.

That was a really great one-shot, Sian ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hey Kiana! Thank you for offering to review this for me!

You know, I've never actually read a Tom/Minerva story, but they certainly sound interesting. But that was exactly what I was trying to get across with it. I've never written a character that has such a major role in the series before, so I was really worried about my characterisation. It's good to know that it seems to have come across the way I intended it to!

The happiness was something I debated over, but I thought that since his soul was still whole at this point, not all human emotions were completely alien to him. He must have felt triumphant at the final realisation of his goal.

I love the fact that you picked up on that line about his friends! I was really pleased with it, and I'm glad that it had the effect I wanted it to.

Thanks so much for the great review!

Sian :)


 Report Review

Review #19, by LilyLunaPotter17 The Heir Accedes

22nd May 2013:
Hello! Thanks for entering my challenge!

Ooh, the Chamber of Secrets! This should be interesting!

I love the way Tom thought the Chamber should be in a more grand place than a dirty girls' bathroom, and also the line "He wasn't interested in girls, though plenty of them were interested in him." I felt like this showed that Tom was that sort of handsome, sought-after boy, but he was more interested in power.

"His friends - or rather his followers, for they already obeyed him blindly" - this just proves Dumbledore's point that Tom Riddle does not have any friends. It also says how powerful he already was, by using the phrase "obeyed him blindly". I like the way he also thought they were dim-witted - he really doesn't feel for anyone, does he?

It just goes to show, doesn't it, that he was very devoted to power - how he researched for five years for an answer. If it was me, I'd have given up long ago. But power changed him a lot, and this really shows that.

The Basilisk ... I wonder how it feels to be the master of a huge, man-eating King of the Serpents. Tom certainly seems to have taken it in his stride. I love the way he found out he was the Heir of Slytherin by himself and went on to discover the chamber.

Your description makes me jealous! "The snake relinquished its hold and offered up its secrets". It projects a really clear image in my mind and I can really imagine this happening. I've no doubt it did!

Your grammar, spelling and sentence structure is exceptional. Someone might think this was written by a professional writer.

All in all, this was a really enjoyable read, which gave me the chills slightly. Well done!

Summer x

Author's Response: Thank you for coming up with the challenge - I had a lot of fun thinking of this idea and writing the story!

I kind of see this moment as the real start of Tom's transition into Voldemort; in the summer he killed his family and by the end of the year he'd made his first Horcrux.

I've always believed that Tom Riddle operated alone - like you said, he doesn't care for anyone. There's also nothing that will stop him in his pursuit for power, and that's much more important than all the followers. He approached every point in his life that truly demonstrated his power on his own, and that's part of what shaped him into who he was.

I don't think that being master of a Basilisk would have fazed Tom, because in his mind he's the most powerful wizard ever to live, and that gives him automatic dominion over things like the King of Serpents.

Thank you for the compliment on my description! That line was one of my favourites, and I do put a lot of effort into it.

A professional writer? Wow! You have me blushing over here! Thanks for such a wonderful review!

Sian :)


 Report Review

Review #20, by MargaretLane The Heir Accedes

22nd May 2013:
Love the way you've written this story. There's something dark and arrogant about the language, which fits Tom Riddle perfectly.

I also like the implication that growing up in the Muggle world made him more likely to believe mythology could be true, because after all, he'd thought magic to be mythology before he found out about being a wizard.

I'd never thought how he'd feel about having to go into a girls' bathroom. I can easily see him finding it demeaning - not just a bathroom, but a bathroom he has to sneak into because he really shouldn't be there.

Author's Response: Hi! I certainly wasn't expecting any reviews so quickly, so thank you for taking the time to leave the first review on this story!

When I thought about it, I couldn't imagine Tom Riddle really finding a girls' bathroom the appropriate setting to something he saw as so great. After all, who would have thought to look in a bathroom for the entrance to the Chamber?

I've always thought that growing up in the Muggle world must have influenced him in some way, except for causing a hatred of Muggles. Something must have given him the belief to pursue the Chamber for so long, and like you said, he probably was more likely to believe in mythology because of his upbringing.

Thank you so much for a brilliant review!

Sian :)


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login