Reading Reviews for Bite Club
  
21 Reviews Found

Review #1, by EnigmaticEyes16 Hugo's Choice

2nd July 2014:
What!? So Valerie is a vampire AND working for the Ministry of Magic to ensure the killing of vampires? How does that work? How can she be surrounded by vampire slayers, and they donít know that sheís a vampire? I really hope you update more eventually, this is a really good story so far and I am super curious to know what happens.

xxNix

Author's Response: Val√ɬÉ√ā¬©rie is an exceptionally good liar, and of course the invention of coloured contact lenses stops her eyes from being visible, she works at night, she behaves like she hates vampires... I definitely plan to update soon and I'm really pleased you're enjoying this story so much and that you want to know more!

-Isobel


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Review #2, by EnigmaticEyes16 The Runaways

30th June 2014:
So do the vampires' eyes change with age? Lucy and Hugo have blood red eyes and they're newborns. Sandra's were burnt orange, and she was younger than Claudine, who's eyes are amber gold. And Jeremiah's eyes are CREAM colored? I don't even know what that looks like on eyes, lol. Just slightly darker than the white irises? I am curious as to how Lucy and him, walked about in daylight and no one noticed their eyecolor?

I loved this chapter. Sandra's still alive! And may appear at the meeting. Claudine's on her way to the meeting. Lucy should be safe since it doesn't seem like Alexis has gotten word out about her location, since she was knocked out most of the time and it doesn't seem to be at the top of her list right now. I loved the flashback at the end, that's certainly added a bit of a twist to the story, since we know Claudine is not dead, well, not dead dead. Onto the next chapter I go, I guess.

Great story so far!

xxNix

Author's Response: Yep, newborn vampires have crimson eyes like Lucy and Hugo, and then it fades to orange, then amber, then cream before they get their natural eye colour back -- but only Jeremiah has his natural eye colour, because it's only something that happens to vampires approximately a thousand years old. His eyes were cream during the flashback, but that was 250 years earlier so now his eyes are normal coloured again. Lucy's eyes weren't noticed because there's a wonderful (for vampires) invention called coloured contact lenses ;)

Sandra is indeed alive! As for whether she'll appear at the meeting, that remains to be seen. I'm pleased you love the flashback, since I enjoy including plot twists into my stories!

I'm really happy that you're enjoying this story so far!

-Isobel


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Review #3, by EnigmaticEyes16 Awakening

30th June 2014:
Ooooh, it's getting better! I liked the introduction to Jeremiah and Claudine. And Longbottom's daughter is a slayer? Probably even the same slayer Hugo was dating? And does she really kill Claudine? And what will happen to the coven if she does? Guess I'll have to read on to find out.

xxNix.

Author's Response: Yay, I'm really happy you think this story is getting better! Yes, Neville's daughter is a slayer, and indeed the one that Hugo was dating. I see you've found answers to your questions by reading on, so I won't answer them here (I couldn't either way -- spoilers) but it's great that you wanted to read on and that you enjoyed the introduction to Jeremiah and Claudine.

-Isobel


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Review #4, by EnigmaticEyes16 Prologue

30th June 2014:
Hi! This was an interesting start to the story. I'm definitely intrigued to read on. I haven't read a lot of Lucy, although I did write her once but I can't really compare your Lucy to my take on her. I think you did a good job of portraying her. She seemes reasonable enough, but then at the end I suppose a little crazy comes out when she starts talking like Hugo deserves what she did to him, that now he'll know how she's always felt, how he himself made her feel. It made sense to me, anyway.

I did notice a couple little errors at the beginning. In the first paragraph, when Lucy says "and because he or she ran off after me of most of my blood" I think you just left out a word there. And then in the second paragraph "no matter much I drink" same thing, just a word missing. Little things that happen when you're typing in the moment.

Other than those tiny things, I thought this was a really great first chapter and I'm gonna read on to see what happens.

xxNix

Author's Response: Hi! I'm really pleased you're intrigued to continue, and that you enjoyed my portrayal of Lucy. I find that she's not written in fanfic as much as her cousins, so it's great you wrote her even once! I'm happy that her craziness made sense to you!

Ahh, pesky typos. I swear I proofread my chapters a million times and yet I still end up with typos making their way into the archives. Thanks for pointing those out -- I'll get right onto fixing them as soon as I can! :)

Thank you so much, and I'm glad you wanted to continue reading!

-Isobel


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Review #5, by alicia and anne Awakening

29th May 2014:
I really like the idea of a vampire having such bright colours for their kitchen, when normally it's just doom and gloom. :D

Although the blood has ruined the bright and cheery effect. :P

Oh no, poor Hugo :(

I kinda like this Jeremiah guy! I can't wait to see more of him. :D

And I love the idea of them being able to be in the sun if they have a charmed item. Makes me think of Vampire Diaries, which I love! I hope they can get the items so they can go out in the sun. :D

Although, I really want them to be able to see their families, they all must be so worried about them, but it's for the best until they can control themselves.


Ahhh! Now that is a massive cliffhanger! Ahhh! I need more! I need to know what happens!!1

This was amazing! And I can't wait to read more, I absolutely love how you write and your amazing way with words. :D

Author's Response: What can I say, Lucy is patriotic :P Modern vampires don't live in coffins any more, didn't you know? ;) Haha the blood definitely has ruined the bright and cheery effect... unless you're a vampire who loves blood :P

*sniffles* Poor Hugo indeed! And I can guarantee that you will see more of Jeremiah!!

Haha, I've compiled my vampire headcanon from a lot of different sources and TVD is one of them. It would be really difficult to have them sneaking around in the dark, not to mention that plot purposes require them to be outdoors in sunlight ;)

Hugo is definitely concerned about seeing his family... Lucy is the misfit of the Weasleys, so she's allowed herself to drift away from them since her turning. I don't think she'll ever control herself, given what she's done to Hugo and he's her favourite cousin!

Cliffhangers are awesome. ♥

Thank you so much, I'll try and update as soon as I can, and thanks for all your amazing compliments!! :D


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Review #6, by UnluckyStar57 Prologue

16th April 2014:
Wow. I never thought that I would enjoy vampires after that awful book that teenage girls enjoy (Tw*l*ght), but if this story had a color, it would be dark red.

(Sorry if you actually like that book and I offended you...)

But really. Lucy is absolutely sane and absolutely insane all at the same time. She is a mad creature, full of jealousy--why else would she have been glad about Hugo's conversion?--and positively sick of being everyone's second choice. I think she's brilliant.

And why was Hugo so against spending time with her, even if they WERE being third and fourth wheels? What was so bad about her as a human? Why were her cousins always the favored ones? It's kind of sad that she had to bite one of her relatives to get him to spend time with her, but I think that it'll make for interesting situations in later chapters.

"And now your eyes are open, and you're gasping for air you don't actually need, and I'm kneeling over you, smiling at the blood red shade of your once blue eyes."~I don't know why, but this quote really stuck out to me. It's incredibly creepy for her to do that, but the scene that I pictured was really vivid because of all the colors in this sentence!!

I really hope that I can come back to read more very soon! :)

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

Author's Response: Hehehehe, thank you! Actually, I do like Twilight, but I do understand why people dislike it. It's a story I enjoy when I'm in the mood for relaxing but don't want to read a book where I have to think about the plot too much...

HEHEHE. YAY! I'm so excited that you think Lucy's brilliant, because I think you've really got her characterization. She's jealous, and lonely, and downtrodden and in a twisted kind of way, this is her (unintentional) revenge.

I think it's kind of a horrible cycle for Lucy. She's shy and finds it hard to connect with people and be her own person without restraint, always second-guessing herself. As a result, she's meek and contradictory, so her cousins avoid her -- but this means that when they /do/ spend time with her, she's possessive and determined to have their undiverted attention for that short period of time but unwittingly suffocates them, which leads them to want to avoid her and so the horrible cycle continues. It's kind of sad, especially as it was all down to a lack of confidence that no-one picked up on, but you're right -- it does pose quite a lot of issues in the Weasley family that'll get answered later on. :)

I love that line, too! Mainly because of the creepiness -- of Lucy being the very first thing that Hugo sees when he wakes up as a vampire.

And I really hope you can, too! Thank you for the lovely review! :D

-Isobel


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Review #7, by Crescent Moon  Hugo's Choice

2nd February 2014:
I'm really enjoying this story, I can't wait to find out what happens next. :)

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad that you're enjoying this story; there'll be a new chapter up as soon as possible! :)

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Review #8, by LilyLou Prologue

3rd December 2013:
Hon this is perfect! I can't wait to read the next chapter! You wrote Lucy with this perfection I can't describe! This was undeniably attention grabbing and was without a doubt suspenseful, in a way that all I wanted was to know what sea talking about.

Just oh my gosh.

Thank you for the beauty!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Thank you so much for all your lovely compliments! I'm really glad that you felt Lucy was suspenseful and that you want to read on :D

Thank /you/ for your lovely reviews!

-Isobel


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Review #9, by Lululuna Hugo's Choice

29th October 2013:
What, Hugo and Ally have a kid together?! I'm not sure if that was hinted at before and I just missed it, but that just changes everything! I can't imagine what Hugo is going to do now, since it's not only his girlfriend but his son who stands to suffer.

I'm a little surprised Hugo isn't angrier about the whole situation: he seems very reconciled to the fact that he's a vampire and accepting that he can't be a parent to his son anymore. But then again, maybe it's just the calm before the storm.

Claudine is so sinister, and I'm worried about her plan to use Hugo for bait. It's too bad for Hugo that Lucy blurted out about Ally, though I guess it was to protect him and get him accepted into the coven. It's nice that he wanted to protect Lucy as well, but I wonder if that will change once he finds out what she was the one who turned him? I'm also excited to see how the rest of the Weasley clan will react to Hugo's disappearance, or if he'll even come clean about being a vampire.

Wait, isn't Valerie the name of the woman Jeremiah met in the last chapter in the 1700s? I'm so curious as to what she's doing working for the vampire slayers, and since she's a vampire, what her motives are and how she's managed to fool everyone for this long. This story just gets more and more tangled and exciting, and I know you just updated but I'm already excited for the next chapter! :D

Author's Response: Yep, Hugo and Ally have a son! Don't worry - it /was/ hinted at, but they were extremely subtle hints. Hugo is certainly in a quandary now, isn't he? :P

THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM. ♥ OMG, that describes him perfectly! Don't worry, drama will definitely come ;)

Claudine's plans are rather unorthodox, and occasionally fatal - you're right to be worried ;) Lucy did reveal Hugo's connection with Ally to save his life, although she didn't do very well with saving his humanity in the first place... heh. He'll definitely come clean about being a vampire; it's in future chapters but also mentioned in one of Bite Club's spin-offs, titled This Unravelling, which you can find on my Author's Page ;)

YES SHE IS THE SAME PERSON. Heh. You'll have to read on to find out more about Valerie ;)


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Review #10, by Lululuna The Runaways

29th October 2013:
Hi again! :) The line about Claudine being a survivor was great. I actually felt quite worried for the men whose van she jumped into and worried she would attack them, but I guess that's just one of the casualties of living in a city where there are vampires. I'm curious to find out what "crimes" Claudine has committed in terms of the Ministries, and why she's even more hunted than other vampires.

I like Jeremiah and his backstory a lot, though I suspect there's more to come. He seems like a really controlled, and compassionate (for a vampire) person who has a lot of wisdom to offer. I like how his speech sounds more formal as well, it fits with the idea that he's old. And again, the vampire politics are very interesting! The vampire history is really intriguing as well, like how Muggles and wizards used to hunt them. I can't wait to find out more about vampire lore as the story goes on. :)

I quite like the multiple perspectives in the chapter, and each character seems unique enough that it won't get confusing. Alexis seems like a great character, and I love the Longbottom connection.

I love the flashback! I'm curious to find out what is going on with Jeremiah's eyes, and who the beaux morts are. It's also exciting to learn how Claudine became a vampire and her connections to the wizarding world. Anyway this was another really great chapter- onto the next one now! :)

Author's Response: Hi again! Yes, Claudine is indeed a survivor - that's why she's smart with who she kills. Those men were in broad daylight, and killing them would have resulted in having to step forward into the sunlight /and/ their van wouldn't be a safe haven with police and SOCOs walking around. Her "crimes" will one day be revealed ;) As for why she's more hunted, it's because she's survived when many others haven't.

Jeremiah definitely has more of his backstory to come! His qualities stem from the years he's lived, and I'm really pleased you like the vampire politics! More will come, and it'll get even messier ;) I'm glad that you're intrigued about finding out more about them as the story progresses!

E yes the flashback! I had so much fun writing it that there'll be more flashbacks in Bite Club! The Beautiful Dead are explained in future chapters, and OOOH. Clever you, picking up on that little hint ;)


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Review #11, by Lululuna Awakening

29th October 2013:
Hi! I'm so glad you decided to include this- I remember reading the first chapter when it was just a one-shot and loving how creepy and exciting it was. Lucy is such a great character and I loved how you started this: with the contrasts between her kitchen and the blood, and the parts of her vampire life which have started to become routine and normal.

I love how Lucy doesn't play around or break it to Hugo slowly- she just informs him and I don't blame the poor guy for being upset in the slightest.

Just one thought: in the sentence "after visiting their Muggle grandparents" I was a bit confused about whose grandparents they were- for a moment I read it as Lucy and Hugo visiting their grandparents which wouldn't make sense, so you might want to change that pronoun. :)

What, Hugo is dating a vampire slayer?! That's an excellent plot twist. I like the vampire dynamics and underworld set up here, it's really interesting. Hugo seems like a good guy: it was very ironic when he started feeling guilty for accusing Lucy of killing him, when in fact that's exactly what happened.

Claudine seems pretty cold, especially how she would have left Sandra to die if she wasn't useful. Alexis seems intense! I wonder if she's Hugo's mentioned significant other, and if so how she will react to his new state!

This was a great and really exciting chapter, and I'm excited to get to know these characters even more. :)

Author's Response: Hi hi hi! Yes, Lucy is indeed fun to write, especially as she's young enough to remember what the human world felt like while old enough for the vampire habits to have taken root.

When in doubt, don't best around the bush :P Lucy probably wasn't sure about how to phrase the situation appropriately (I don't think anyone would be!) so she just came out with it outright.

I'll take a look at that, and see what I can do to edit it :)

Yep - Alexis is that vampire slayer! I'm really pleased that you like the vampire community, and I hope you continue to in future chapters! And yep - poor Hugo, and deceptive Lucy for lying!

Claudine /is/ old in relative terms - most vampires wouldn't have survived to approximately 250 years old if they'd risked their existences for everyone they met.

I'm glad you liked this chapter, thank you for reviewing! ♥


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Review #12, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Hugo's Choice

28th October 2013:
Hugo is a vampire and Alexis is a slayer - Poor Sammy is screwed. *hugs Sammy and hides him away*

I don't like Valerie. And I have mixed feelings about Alexis, but that's mostly because she's leaving her son in the Ministry rather than being with him, so that might change. But not if she goes after Hugo. I am very interested in Emmanuelle and why she's no long with the French Ministry and why she's not slaying like she used to.

I also love that they're called vampire slayers and work for the Ministry. Because in my headcanon the vampire division in the Ministry don't do this for work and the slayers are called hunters and they're separate. But putting them together is very cool. :D

Hugo is really going to have to get used to the whole murder part of being a vampire. Survival 101, sometimes you have to. Quick thinking, though, with the IDs, or the guy Lucy killed is gullible.

(My love of death and bloodshed is still strong, it seems. :P)

The meeting was interesting. I look forward to seeing more of the vampires, together and the main ones in the story. I don't like that Hugo is going to be used as bait, though. Poor Hugo. And Lucy, giving out his secrets! :O (Although it's saving his life and I have my mixed feelings about Alexis, I don't want Sammy to be alone.)

(Okay, so I've now hidden Sammy away... Continue.)

Great chapter, Isobel. I can't wait for more.

Fate is in Hugo's hands...

HUGO/JEREMIAH FOREVER!!!

Sammy. ;)

Author's Response: Poor Sammy, indeed. *hugs him tightly*

I don't think anyone likes Valerie :P Alexis leaving Sammy in the Ministry is a subject that will divide people, but really, this is somewhere around the 2030s (I'm too lazy to look up the date right now) and since working mothers are common in our time, I'd like to think that they continue to be twenty years in the future. Emmanuelle does have a history which will be revealed in future chapters ;)

I thought about having them as independent hunters first, but that would be really difficult to regulate (how many vampires can they kill? who can they kill? who's "protected" by the Ministry?) ergo, the Ministry created a division for vampires. They have one for werewolves, so... :P

Yep, Survival 101's ugly. Although I'm really disappointed with how much blood everyone else is letting Lucy have... that addiction of hers will come to to light soon ;)

Poor Hugo, indeed. And yes, Lucy does want to save Hugo's existence (since he's not really living? or is he?) and that's why she betrays him. Plus, she kind of trusts Claudine, since Claudine saved her that night, so... hi complexity :3

WE NEED A SHIP NAME!!

-Isobel ♥


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Review #13, by nott theodore Awakening

10th September 2013:
Hello, I'm here with your requested review!

I haven't actually read the Cassandra Clare books but I really do love the concept that you have here in this story. This is the first fanfiction I've read featuring vampires and I really like your original take on it; the speed, the heightened senses, the eyes, going out in daylight. There are one or two elements that you've included that feel really fresh (I'm no expert on vampire canon, but I've never seen them before) such as the fact that a vampire loses their magic when they're bitten, and that to become a vampire the victim has to drink the vampire's blood as well. They're really interesting details.

Your characterisation is brilliant so far. Obviously I can't really comment on consistency so far, but I like the way that you're portraying each of the characters. Lucy and Hugo (Lucy in particular) are some of the least written about next gen characters, so that alone is enough to grab my interest. I've also always thought that one of the Weasleys must have ended up being left out, so to me it makes sense that Lucy's been the outsider of the group.

I'm intrigued by Hugo's obvious change in thought towards her - I think at the moment that it might have been out of guilt because of her disappearance. I actually felt really sorry for him when Lucy lied about who'd bitten him! I can understand why she would have lied about it, but I think that Hugo will end up finding out sooner or later, and I'm interested to see how he'll react when he does.

At the moment I think Claudine - strangely - is actually my favourite character. Even though she's obviously done lots of bad things in the past and almost seems like a bit of a villain, but she really intrigues me and I hope she survives the slayer's attack, because I want to find out more about her!

And poor Hugo has been turned into a vampire when he has a vampire slayer girlfriend? Now I feel even more sorry for him; I think that having heard about vampires being killed, it might be even harder for him to come to terms with his life as a vampire. Now Alexis knows where Lucy lives too, and where Hugo is - there are so many things here that have me asking questions about what's going to happen next!

There were a couple of typos here and there, but since you said that there's already an edited version of this in the queue I won't point them all out now.

With regards to the particular areas you mentioned, I definitely think that it's interesting enough to make me want to read on. The ending alone, with that cliffhanger, is enough to do that. I really think you have a great start to this story and I can't wait to see what you're going to do with the rest of it!

As far as the subtle hints are concerned, I should probably warn you that I'm either really good or really bad at guessing these :P To me there seems to be something in the fact that Lucy is the first new vampire that's been allowed to join the London coven in the time that Claudine has been there. I'm also intrigued by the fact that nobody seems to know Claudine's last name, whilst all the other vampires have known surnames. And what on earth has she done to cross twenty-six different Ministries? Hopefully I've picked up on some of the hints you included!

This is a really great beginning to the story, and I hope that this review was helpful (I feel like I've just rambled a bit)! Please feel free to re-request!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi Sian! First of all, I'm really sorry about the unforgivable length of time it's taken me to respond to this review; I hope you can forgive me! ♥ I promise that in future, it'll never take this long!

I'm glad that you enjoyed the concept of Bite Club, and that you find the vampires' abilities to be original. Victims having to drink the vampire's blood comes from Buffy and The Vampire Diaries, but I'm pleased you like the fact that victims lose their magic when they turn. I didn't want to make vampires /too/ powerful, because then the wizarding world would be overrun with vampires and there'd be more than just Sanguini in the books. I'm trying to keep this story as interesting as possible, so it's great to hear you find the details interesting!

Yay! I enjoy writing about characters who aren't often written about, which is why I chose Lucy and Hugo to become vampires. I've felt that out of the Weasleys, Percy was the one who was most aloof and detached from the rest of the family, and I think as the Weasleys grew up, Molly and Lucy didn't see their cousins as often as the others saw each other. This isn't much of a problem for Molly, since she's quite a confident person, but when you couple it with Lucy's shyness, it becomes an issue. I wanted to highlight how even in a big family, someone can feel utterly alone, and I'm happy that it makes sense to you.

Hugo and Lily were two of the last people to see Lucy, so the guilt is there. I think it's made worse by the fact she's still in London, so she hasn't gone very far at all. Hugo /will/ discover the truth eventually, but how and when is being kept under wraps for the moment. He definitely won't be happy that Lucy lied.

*high fives* Claudine is my favourite character! She's definitely no angel, but she does have motives for what she does. They're not motives I always agree with, but it's a lot better than killing indiscriminately. You've probably seen by now that she does survive Alexis' attack, and I guarantee there will be more about her coming soon!

Poor, poor Hugo. He's definitely not going to have an easy time becoming a vampire, particularly because his life was so deeply embedded with his friends and family. Lucy, as the outcast, found it easier to drift away and let them presume she's dead, but Hugo's nothing like that. As for what happens next, there should be an update soon!

I'm really happy that you're enjoying Bite Club and that you'd like to read on; I should probably update soon, shouldn't I? Haha, I won't give you spoilers but I will say that in this case, you are really good at guessing what those subtle hints are :P

This review was very helpful indeed, (I love rambling, it's great) and I will be re-requesting now that I've responded! Thank you so much for reviewing, Sian, and once again I'm sorry for the delay!


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Review #14, by TheHeirOfSlytherin The Runaways

10th September 2013:
Claudine, you sneak! Distracting the slayer and getting away - that's what happens when you act too confident too early, Alexis. *shakes head and tuts* I'm still torn on how I feel about her. Not in a bad way, I love that I have questions - questions I'll save and wait to read - but I have not quite decided if she's good or bad. She's obviously done something to be on the run, but she seemed genuinely worried about Lucy and I'm indesicive. I think she's a great character, though. Complex. It's awesome.

I really wanna know why she's running and hiding!

HUGO!!! *squishes* I love him so much, he's handling this very well. I can't wait to see more of Hugo and Lucy and vampires in their element, so to speak. ;)

Jeremiah seems cool. I get why he's doesn't want to take charge of the vampires. I can't wait to know more about him, especially what happened to him to end up getting the scars from the fire.

Why did Claudine keep Alexis alive? Is what she thinks true, will revenge of a larger scale be coming? Who is Sammy? QUESTION THAT NEED ANSWERING, KATIE! :O I'M SO EXCITED!!! :D

Oooh, flashback! I need to know what happened here, I need to know why Claudine needs to be killed. I imagine she's still human here. Was it Jeremiah who turned her? Instead of killing her? I can't wait to find out!

The Beautiful Dead! Interesting... :D

Great chapter, Katie!

Sam.

Author's Response: Claudine is one smart vampire, we can definitely agree! And yes, Alexis does have a case of know-it-all syndrome here and it's backfiring on her now. Hehehehehehe. Claudine's definitely complex, and for the reason she's on the run... you'll find out ;)

HUGO ASDFGHJKL. I feel awful for the poor guy - I keep throwing all the bad stuff at him :( And you will see the hunt soon ;)

YOUR QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED BY NOW WITH OUR HEADCANON CONVERSATIONS *insert evil cackles*

There will be quite a few flashbacks during Bite Club, because I really enjoyed writing this one so I decided to add some more in :D

Great review, Sam :D

-Isobel ♥


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Review #15, by alicia and anne Prologue

9th September 2013:
I feel really sorry for Lucy, I wish that her family tried more with her and included her more. I just want to hug her tightly and never let go!

And she bit Hugo! I hope that he doesn't hate her too much for it, at least she has someone to be a vampire with her.

I really liked how you wrote this, it was incredibly well written and I enjoyed this so much! I can't wait to read more and find out more about everyone! :D

You're amazing!

Author's Response: Yes, Lucy's really the odd one out, isn't she? Although it does work two ways, and she could make friends outside of her family if she'd wanted to, but sadly she fixated upon Hugo. I do want to hug her... sometimes. :P

Hugo's reactions will be shown later, and I can assure you that they will be unexpected ;)

Thank you so much, Tammi! There are two more chapters up ;) *hint, hint*

And so are you! ♥


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Review #16, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Awakening

19th July 2013:
Oh, Hugo. Personally, I think he'd make a cool vampire and I'm very excited to watch as he adapts to a new world that he's now a part of. I love how you portray vampires, your own spin on "classic" traits - the speed, the eyes, the hunger. I can't wait to see more about your version of vampires and how Hugo, along with Lucy and the others, will deal with it all.

The idea of them needing a coven and a leader is really cool, I can't wait to see the rest. I can definitely imagine vampires needing someone/something (and I can talk about vampire headcanon all day, so I'm gonna shush. :P)

Lucy, you liar! :O I understand why she'd lie, it'd be horrible to have to admit that you basically murdered your cousin. I wouldn't want to do that. I hope she does tell him soon, before his memories come back... if they do come back, that is.

I like Jeremiah, he seems like a good guy. So far. What with helping Lucy and now being there with Hugo. I look forward to finding more about him.

Claudine is really... I'm not sure I like her. In that, she seems like villain material. But she sounds like an awesome character. I just hope she doesn't hurt Lucy and Hugo (if she lives through the slayer attack... which I imagine she will because she's in the summary).

I'm kind of sad that Sandra died. She seemed like an asset to the coven.

Alexis. Hugo's girlfriend, I assume? Love that her last name is Longbottom. Was so not expecting the slayer to be Neville's, I'm very intrigued and excited!

This chapter was so amazing, I enjoyed every minute of it and I can't wait for more!

Thank you for the dedication, I'm honored. I'm so happy you decided to make this longer. :D

Sam.

Author's Response: Sam! ♥

Indeed, Hugo will make a fantastic addition to the coven - although the others won't realize it at first. I'm glad that you like my vampire headcanon, since it comes from several shows / books / movies all mixed up into one brain :')

NO! NO! I'll be happy to discuss vampire headcanon with you! XD Just PM or email me and I'll happily chat all day :D

Lucy /is/ in a difficult position, but she's also a complicated character. On one hand she loves Hugo, but on the other she's a little crazy, so it's hard to predict her actions sometimes, even for me. :3

You'll see a little more depth to Jeremiah in the next chapter. ;)

And Claudine is my favourite XD But I'd recommend you re-read the final section because I think there was a little hint to her character that you might have missed ;)

Sandra was an asset to the coven, yes, but she had to die. You'll find out why in the next couple of chapters ;) And yes, Alexis is Neville's daughter and Hugo's girlfriend.

I'm happy that you enjoyed this chapter and that it intrigued you! :D

-Katei ♥


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Review #17, by ATLpaintingflowers Prologue

3rd July 2013:
This is absolutely freaking amazing. The transitions were so smooth, and you kept the reader's interest the whole time. The ending kept me wondering. Please update as soon as possible :)
10/10

Author's Response: Thank you very much for reviewing! The next chapter is already up! ;)

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Review #18, by Gabriella Hunter Prologue

12th June 2013:
HEY!

Hey, lovely, its Gabbie here with your review and omygoshlikereally you read Cassandra Clare? have you read the latest in the Mortal Instrument--*ahem* that's not what this is about! Hahaha.
Anyway, I really enjoyed this one-shot! I don't find many stories centered on Lucy, Molly or Roxanne Weasley on the forums and this is a nice and very welcome change. I think her character gets sort of pushed to the side since most stories are about Rose or Lily and i think that's a real shame.
Your Lucy is written in a very relatable way and I was able to understand her very well. I think you gripped all the bitterness, longing and sadness of growing up with a famous family amazingly. She feels more real to me than some of the other depictions that I've read and the relationships you built up with she and her cousins was detailed enough but no so overly much that I wanted to know so much more.
Lily and Rose were two characters that I thought you strayed away from being "perfect" so brilliantly, I love a Weasley/Potter girl with flaws. ;)
Lucy herself seems like a very practical girl but there's so much chance for character growth here that I would love to read more about her.
Anyway, as for her turning into a vampire and your descriptions of that--well, that was pretty awesome! I think on some parts you should watch out for some run on sentences and slow down just a tad but otherwise, no issue at all with it.
The reveal of her talking to Hugo about her change and what will be happening to him soon gave me the chills. Just something so dark and lovely and wonderful about what you did there and well, when is this becoming a full story? I'll be on it like a liar in church. HAHAHA.
Aside from what I mentioned, no other CC's! This was really great!
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: HI GABBIE! :D

Haha, I've only read the first four books, the fifth is on my to-read list! :)

Yup, when I first came up with the idea, I wanted a vampire that wasn't a Potter or a Granger-Weasley, and Lucy was one of the first to spring to mind, particularly as there's so little known about her. :)

Thank you so much! I'm so excited that you were able to relate to her so well (especially as she's on the slightly crazy side :P) and that you felt I portrayed her accurately - I hope this continues! ♥

Rose is my rebel, and I think Lily is affected by fame in a similar way to Lucy, but her reaction is different (if that makes sense?) I'm glad I was able to avoid the cliches though - I love flaws too ;)

EEE yes! I hope you like Lucy's personality in future chapters :D

Thanks so much! I'll keep an eye out for those pesky run-on sentences - I think it's just the story running away with me ;)

WOOO the fact that you had the chills is great to hear as an author! Bite Club is actually a novella now - there's two chapters of it up *cackles*

Thanks so much!

-Isobel ♥


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Review #19, by HeyMrsPotter Prologue

2nd June 2013:
Hello! Here from the forums for your review. I am so so SO sorry it's taken me this long to get around to doing it, it was my birthday over the weekend and then I got a little distracted!
I really really enjoyed this story. I always applaud people who can write well in first person and you are definitely one of them. You set a really good, dark mood throughout which perfectly represents vampires and Lucy's personality.
I love the background you give to how Lucy became a vampire herself (though it did take me a while to figure out it was her, maybe you could mention her name a little earlier or was that intentional?) and I like that it was pretty much Hugo's fault that she turned and now she's turned him and almost feels guilty about it but at the same time is very selfish and thinks of her revenge, it's a nice touch to her character.
You have some amazing lines in here, I won't quote them all as there's about 50! But I particularly loved "And now your eyes are open, and youíre gasping for air you donít actually need" and " tasting so deliciously sweet with just a hint of the Dutch courage you drank before you came to visit me in my little vampireís lair."
The only critique I could give is that I want more! I'd like to know how Lucy reacted when she discovered she couldn't use magic any more, what happened when Hugo woke up, did Lucy ever find out who turned her?
It shows how good your writing is that I want to know more though :)
Thank you for requesting, sorry again about the wait and well done for writing such a fantastic one shot!

Author's Response: Hi Dee! It's no problem at all - I'm more than a little late with this response myself :P (Happy belated birthday, by the way!)

Wow! First person is, Imo, hard for me to write so I am astonished and excited that you think I can write well in first person! XD I really love all of your compliments, and yes - that was intentional, because I felt if I mentioned Lucy's name earlier it would disrupt the flow a little. Yes, it's very much a part of her personality that she loves Hugo, but wants him to suffer, but doesn't want to hurt him because of who he is to her - it's such a tumble of emotions that I love exploring :D

Wo, thank you so much! ♥ I love those lines too, particularly the first one!

Haha, I have actually expanded this one-shot into a novella now, and those questions will be explored in the novella. I'd love to hear your opinions on the future chapters!

Thanks for such a lovely review!


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Review #20, by Lululuna Prologue

24th May 2013:
Hi, I'm here for your requested review! :)

I really liked this, thank you for requesting it! I'm usually pretty iffy about vampire fics, but you did a really good job of tying this into the Potterverse and making Lucy as a character very believable and compelling-in a crazy sort of way, of course. It does remind me a little of the Cassandra Clare books, which I love, especially with the characterization of vampires.

Okay, so first of all I think the story flowed really well. I can really imagine demonic Lucy keeping vigil by Hugo's body and waiting for him to wake up, while these thoughts are pouring around in her head. I liked how she came to the conclusion about the silver lining at the end, showing how her opinions and thought process changed throughout the story- it was very concisely and effectively written! The little hints and mentions of Hugo's body beginning to twitch and stir were so great- at first I thought she had killed him, in fact.

I really enjoyed the Weasley family dynamics you set up as well, and you really gave the impression of a whole life lived together in the course of a short chapter. I felt bad for Lucy, always being the outsider, and can imagine her bitterness. Even though Hugo was nicer to her than Lily, he wasn't quite nice enough, and this gives her a sort of morbid satisfaction as he could percieve her pain but not help her in the past. I loved her silver lining- that he'll know what it's like to be isolated - and also got the sense she's pleased that he'll have to stick with her now when he tended to leave her before. The "darling" at the end added just the right about of creepiness which suggest dear Lucy is slipping off the deep end.

I loved Claudine as well, she's just this high-profile, irritated vampire called in for damage control. It's interesting how she's upset that there are more vamps out there. The Muggle cell phone, and fact that vampires lose their magic, was a great detail.

Another great line was her human assesment of how confident people are, and vampire assesment of how fragile they are. It was a really great contrast, and shows how Lucy has changed through her physical transformation. Though I feel like she's still the same isolated, unhappy person deep down as well.

Your writing style is just great, it reads very poetically! :) If this is out of your comfort zone, I'm excited to read something in your comfort zone! :)

Author's Response: Hi! Sorry it's taken me so long to reply to this review; future responses will be more prompt, I assure you!

I'm glad that you enjoyed reading this story, especially as you said you're iffy with most vampire stories.

Your feedback on how you found Lucy's thought process was great, especially her opinion of Hugo and Lily and the whole Weasley family dynamic. I really love how you described the illusion of a whole life lived together in such a short prologue, because that's exactly what I was aiming for. Yes, Lucy is determined to ensure that Hugo suffers for what he did, and she is indeed slipping off the deep end ;)

Claudine is definitely high-profile and irritable XD Her reason for wanting to keep the number of vampires low will be revealed in future chapters, I assure you!

Lucy is indeed the same unhappy person deep down. Some aspects of her personality have indeed changed, but you're absolutely right - deep down, not much has changed at all.

I'm honoured that you find my style poetic, and that you're excited for more - I'll be rerequesting!

Thank you! ♥


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Review #21, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Prologue

22nd May 2013:
I saw 'vampire' on your status and figuratively ran. I saw 'Hugo' on the summary thing and you literally could not get me here fast enough. Seriously, my two favorite things in one. I'm beyond excited.

I love Lucy's crazy-sane vampire-ish mind. At first, I thought she was going to regret what she did, turning Hugo, even if it was an accident. Then I get to the end and, boom, best mistake she ever made. Creepy, scary chills. I loved it. Her and Hugo will have so much vampire fun... Once he's maybe calmed down and possibly forgiven her... :P

Was he too surprised, that he didn't fight back? I'd definitely understand that. It said vamp slaying girlfriend, did he know? Did he have any idea? Where to look? Or was it chance And a vampire wasn't what he expected? I don't think I'd have been able to fight back, whether I knew anything or not. Being a cousin and all.

It's sad to see Lucy as the outcast. There's always going to be one in a big family, though. If only Hugo had been there, though. That she screamed his name and he wasn't there. So sad. So I'm kinda surprised that it was him who came, too.

I loved this story so much. The characters, Lucy's creepy, crazy-sane mind. All of it. Great read!

Sam.

Author's Response: Teeheehee. I'm glad that I picked Hugo now, as he attracted you to this story so quickly :P

Yup, Lucy's sanity is rather questionable. I think that's why I love her - although she cares for Hugo, her thought processes conflict with the norm, and you can't quite tell what she's going to do XD

Indeed, Hugo was surprised. He didn't have any idea - and although he knows that Alexis is a vampire slayer, he didn't know that Lucy was one. (But you know that from the first chapter anyway now XD)

Yeah, it's awful for Lucy being the outcast, but as you said, there's always one in a big family. And I think she clings to Hugo because he's familiar and she loves him. Ugh. I just want to hug her now ♥

Thank you so much for reviewing! ♥


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