Reading Reviews for Howl.
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Carolynn Howl

30th June 2013:
I'm here with a long waited review!

First of all, I'm so sorry this took a month! Second of all, from what you said you were concren about in the request, I got the expression that it's set during the second war, but you might want to confirm it in the next chapter. Good writing and sorry again for bein so late!

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. :)
Actually, I haven't really planned on writing another chapter for this one shot. But okay, I'll consider your viewpoint. :)

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Review #2, by 800 words of heaven Howl

20th June 2013:
Hello! You asked for a review, like ages ago, and here I am now, very, very late! Forgive me! From your chapter summary, it seems like you've updated since requesting, so you probably don't want to ask the stuff you wanted to ask before, so I'll just give a general sort of review instead!

Okay, first off. Your summary. Love. It. Had me hooked instantly. I really want to know what on earth is going on!

I really like your opening paragraph. The way you've described your setting has really given it some grounding in reality, yet it still has elements to it which make you doubt whether everything is as it seems.

Ooh! It's a story about wands (I hope)! I'm a bit of a sucker for wandlore, so now you've got me really excited!

Another thing I really like so far is the way you've used the single word sentences and repeated them. They're already really powerful because of the rhythm that's been created with one word sentences, but the repetition strengthens that, I think.

Oh, my goodness! That little flashback was very jarring! I loved it! The way you wrote it was just so frank, and I think it added to its goriness and overall shock value.

Your main character seems very unbalanced. Instead of telling this to us, you show us, in the way his mind jumps around from his thoughts to the sound of the clock, like his brain isn't able to filter out superfluous things, and they intrude at the most inopportune times. It adds to the mystery.

The entire scene with the girl in the dungeon was written with the same frankness that the flashback scene had, and just like before, it was very chilling. Despite that, it's still descriptive, and I have no trouble imagining all of this in my head, and I think because of the tone, it's still very emotive. It's almost as if everything's stripped back, so the reader can just enjoy the scene and feel what these characters are feeling.

Oh, my goodness! Plot twist! I loved it! I thought she'd just become all Hannibal Lector or something, but the vampire thing is a lot better! I think you could tell by the tone for the last part (where she's a vampire) that things weren't so grounded in reality as they were before, like right at the beginning in that opening paragraph. I loved that juxtaposition, and I really thought it brought the story around in a really complete way.

So I didn't answer any of your areas of concern, because I think you fixed them just fine! If you have any other questions, though, don't hesitate to PM or whatever! I can get a bit rambly when I'm on a roll!

Author's Response: Heyy. I'm glad you enjoyed reading my story and thought it was captivating enough. The descriptions, the characterisation, the suspense and the twist at the end. :D. The flashback scene is, in fact a new addition. I threw it in because I thought it helped describe the male character better, if there was a chuck of his past thrown in there.
Haha, I personally thought the vampire bit to be a bit lame, but if you put it that way, I think I like what I did there. And the others have seemed to like it too, so that's that. :D
And, its cool, I always appreciate criticism, may it be brutal or constructive, its helps me write better and inspiration and what not. :D

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Review #3, by HorseMad99 Howl

7th June 2013:
Hi, it's your requested reviewer.
Sorry this review is so late, as I mentioned on the thread I have had an important exam that I needed to study for but I am finally her (at last!)
'Her wand (or so she claimed)' the first thing I thought of was it when Umbridge was interviewing all of the muggleborns and asking them who they had stolen their wands from and that was why the narrating character added '(or so she claimed)'
I really like the repetition of 'Twist. Turn. Stop. Observe. Repeat' it just worked really well and added to the tense/creepy atmosphere.
'Have you ever had that satisfaction? When you see pieces shatter, and you know that you have caused it.' I don't know why but I just love this quote, it was certainly un-nerving but still really good.
I really liked how the other character demanded to have her wand back despite all that was happening and how she seemed in no position to ask for such a thing but she did anyway.
'Manor' when you mentioned this it immediately made me think is might be Bellatrix and Hermione bu then the ending proved me wrong.
I really liked the repetition at the end of 'Have you ever had the satisfaction? When you see pieces shatter, and you know that you have caused it' I think it ended it really well.
Okay, era defining. So it wasn't too clear which era it was from but seeing as it was a one off chapter and we don't even find out who the characters are I don't think it is all too important. I think it actually works really well as being so unknown.
I think you could have made more of the ending in the way that you had to mention in the authors note what happened, instead you could have explained it a little more in the story.
However I did really like it especially not knowing who the characters were. It kept me guessing and really made me think about it so well done.
I don't think it is all to vital that the era is not crystal clear though I think it will become clearer if you make more of the end.
I really liked this so feel free to request a review for another story!
Beth :)

Author's Response: Heey. Thank you for you review. I'm glad you liked it and enjoyed the quotes that I was hoping the readers would enjoy. I would love for you to give me more reviews. Once I start writing again of course,
Thank you again :D

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Review #4, by SilentConfession Howl

5th June 2013:
Hey! I'm here for your review request

You asked specifically about defining the era properly. From what i can tell - and that's from the A/N at the end that this happened at the end of the first war and went from there. If i had not read the A/N though i probably wouldn't really know where this story was placed. The only thing that you did in the story itself was mention The Dark Lord and Death Eaters. How would you define the era? you could add some more detail in. Who is this person that is stalking her (give us some hints, is it an OC is it canon, why are they so obsessed with following Voldemorts orders, even after he's gone?), you could also ground your story in canon a little more. Mention the outside events a bit. Like in your A/N you said that it's the night Voldemort dies- mention that in your actual story. It would only have to be one or two sentences where you might mention 'even when the Dark Lord fell/was destroyed by a child i knew what had to be done, that the woman had to be killed.' Something along those lines would help us with the era issue. It would also show the insanity of your narrator as well as he has this intense compulsion to carry through with orders even if his side has seemed to have lost at that moment

There are a few other things that I think you could be clearer with - like the person became a vampire? Add more details perhaps to so that there is a little more clarity as the only way i knew was the A/N at the end. I suppose i missed the sharp teeth bit, but i think i took that as a of a metaphor for the woman's anger of being held captive and then stalked and perhaps turned into a cannibal or the whole ending bit was just a metaphor. Either way it's a chilling way to end the one-shot but if you cleaned up some of your description and added a few more details surrounding your characters you'd have a really nice piece here.

A couple more points that i picked up on

- you mention that she's looking at her torn clothing at one point but this doesn't follow with how you described the woman before as her being naked under the robe.

Also be careful with your word choice. Word choice can mean everything in a story and can have a really strong effect on the atmosphere you want to create in your story. You usually use appropriate words to get the feeling across though there were a few times i felt jolted out of the scene by how you chose to describe things. An example would be when you describe you character prancing out into the field after the woman. In my mind i have this image of the character frolicking gaily through the meadow, sort of like a character from a fairytale.

I do think you have an interesting plot here and you describe things well in many respects. How i can see you character in the cell, her bruised and battered body and the animosity of the narrator seems to really spill of the page well. You have a nice writing voice which makes reading your work really nice. Thank you so much for requesting me. I hope that you found this review helpful :)

Author's Response: This review has been more than helpful, you've really pointed out some stuff that I feel stupid to have missed out on. :P. Like you pointed out. I'll develop it more. Both the characters and the ambiance.

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Review #5, by MadiMalfoy Howl

3rd June 2013:
Hello! Here with your requested review :)

Since your biggest concern was about defining an era, I'll start with that. I feel that it's rather confusing at first because there isn't much mention of the outside world. But then, when you mention the Dark Lord, it narrows it down to either the Marauders era or the Hogwarts era. At first when he goes to the cell and there is a mudblood girl, I thought it was going to be a Draco/Hermione bit, but guess not. :P I think a way for you to specify would be to use more details in describing the character (the one serving the Dark Lord) to help us figure it out easier. You could also just say, hey, this is so and so and he's in such and such place.

Now for the basics. You don't really have many grammar/spelling errors, which is always a good thing. One I found was that "queue" should be "cue" instead. You have quite the plot bunny though, I didn't expect it to end the way it did. I think some more description overall wouldn't be a bad idea, but it's all up to you. It works fairly well like it is, kind of bare-boned, much like the plot itself.

Overall, a very interesting one-shot. Definitely more outside my comfort zone, but I liked it none-the-less. :) xx

Author's Response: First off. Thank you for your review. :D
Haha. No. I never planned this to be a Draco/Hermione. I just created the two characters and the situation randomly. But I like what you have pointed out. To describe the male character more, that is. For a clearer picture of what time era the situation is placed in. And I'll make the corrections needed.
Thank you again. :)

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Review #6, by -BookDinosaur- Howl

1st June 2013:
Hey, -BookDinosaur- here with your requested review!

I really liked this one-shot. I think that your characterisation was very good, I really felt the sadism and the hatred of Mudbloods that the narrator displayed.

I liked the ending of the story-by repeating the quote made near the beginning, you made the story come full circle and gave it a feeling of completion.

I enjoyed the irony towards the end as well, where the narrator hunting the woman is actually chasing his own death.

Your writing was gripping and made me want to read on, until I'd found everything out. You wrote the chilling, mysterious atmosphere very well.

My CC for you would be grammar-I spotted a couple of mistakes that disrupted the flow of the story, which was otherwise fine. Just an example:
'her lips parted as her breathing came out unsteady. . '
I think that's meant to be unsteadily, and the two dots didn't make much sense either. I think it's either meant to be a full stop or an ellipse.

Overall, a brilliant one-shot that left me wanting to read more.

Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)
Haha. Yes. I never realise the sort of grammatical mistakes I make. I'll make the corrections.

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Review #7, by PitchBlue Howl

29th May 2013:

Your writing is amazing. It was really descriptive, but without overdoing it - everything flowed very natural.
The way you created the chilling atmosphere is brilliant, I like that it kind of remains a mystery until the end.
While I liked the guessing and vagueness about it, maybe it would be a good thing to include some more clues as to the era and setting. But great work on the mysterious atmosphere, I was hooked.
So, brilliant chapter!

- PB

Author's Response: Heyy.
Thank you so much. Feedback is always appreciated. :) . Yes. I'm trying to work on that, the time era that is, as pointed out by others too, but it just seemed very barbaric to me when I was writing it. With the grandfather clock, the robes, the dungeons and everything, so I just developed that. But I'm open to all sorts of suggestions.

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Review #8, by dreamer21 Howl

17th May 2013:
OMG. This is bloody amazing.
A well written piece. SO PROUD of you Kate. I would read this over and over. Start writing AGAIN!xx

Author's Response: I will. Soon. Hopefully. LOL
Got an obstacle to over come first. :P

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Review #9, by nott theodore Howl

16th May 2013:
Although I can't remember this song of the top of my head, I like the way you have used it to inspire a story that is really compelling.

Your descriptions in this one-shot were very impressive, and I was gripped from the beginning. Another thing that put a smile on my face was the very clever connection between the wands which reflected the story between Harry and Voldemort. The characterisation was great in this story as well; I got a clear sense of the disgust the first narrator felt for muggle-borns and his reverence for the Dark Lord.

I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up as I was reading the part when the first narrator finally found the woman he had been hunting. I thought that the cleverest part was the way you brought the story full circle and whilst the man is hunting the woman, he's actually chasing his own death. I get the idea that she's a vampire, especially with the way she has the strength to break his bones with just a finger, and then goes on to feed on him. It was very chilling!

I think that there are a few changes you could make to this story to make it even better. Since the generation is 'other' it's not very clear what time this takes place in, and I think it would really help the reader if you put a few more clues in about what time this is in, just to make the story clearer. There were a few typos I noticed as well:
"I unhook the wand from under the hood" -- unhooked, since the rest of your story is written in past tense
"A hallow, merciless laughter" -- hollow

I also think that when the first narrator touches the arm that the Dark Mark is on, it doesn't quite fit with canon, because touching the Dark Mark summoned Voldemort.

Overall, this was a very enjoyable read and I think you have a lot of potential as a writer. I'll be on the lookout for more of your stories!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your input. It's EXTREMELY appreciated. I have a very bad habit of not proof reading. Ever. I noticed the typos too. But I had already published the chapter by then, so I had to wait till it was validated.
I wrote this story while listening to the song, which means I actually wrote it in the span of those five minutes as the song was playing. So it was all nerves and adrenaline for me. LOL. I noticed my mistakes later. I"ll make the corrections you pointed out and hopefully work on the time era too to improve it.
Kate. :)

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