Reading Reviews for In His Heart of Hearts
  
20 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Secret Santa In His Heart of Hearts

24th December 2013:
Hello again! I've got another holiday review for you!

I thought this was brilliant! I think you captured Dumbledore's character and emotions really well in this. We never get to see this much emotion from him in the books so I love that you've explored that in this one-shot.

Your description throughout the story is awesome. I really loved the time-turner comparison to the Hallows sign. The entire thing really showed how haunted he is by the past and his guilt.

The characterization was amazing. I feel like Dumbledore would be really difficult to write accurately but you've done a great job! His response to the ring just felt very realistic.

This is just awesome work, you should be really proud! :)

Author's Response: Yay, another one! :)

I am so glad that you think I've captured Dumbledore's character - that was definitely the tricky part of writing this, because he's so complex and I was quite anxious about it.

I'm also very glad that you liked the descriptions! Thank you for those kind words. I agree, Dumbledore is difficult, so frankly I'm quite relieved that you thought that this was realistic!

I think I got the kindest Secret Santa... :)

Thank you so much for these absolutely amazing reviews! I'll probably thank you another thousand times once I find out who you are. I appreciate it so much :)


 Report Review

Review #2, by aditi In His Heart of Hearts

26th October 2013:
as i have already said often enough you DO HAVE a way with words and it is with something akin to awe that fills me when i continue to read your works.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much. I can't believe you've read all of this. It makes me so happy to hear that you like it. thank you for your kind words :)

 Report Review

Review #3, by Matthew1991 In His Heart of Hearts

14th August 2013:
Excellent little tale,

In keeping with canon and pouring with emotion,

Keep writing!!!

Author's Response: I am so happy that you liked it! Thank you so much, and I definitely will keep writing!! :)

 Report Review

Review #4, by HollyStone73 In His Heart of Hearts

27th July 2013:
Awww!! I really liked this! I can imagine Dumbledore arguing with himself over what the right thing to do was and yet feel, through your words, the despair for the wrongs that had been done because of him. I do like how you turned it around and instead of him being upset and scared to die, having him almost look forward to it so that he could see his family again. I have always considered Dumbledore to be a very difficult person to write myself and so I think you have done very well with him here. Great job on this!!

Author's Response: I am so glad that you liked this, and that you can believe that this is something Dumbledore would do. I think that one of the things that he teaches Harry is not to fear death, and so I can't imagine him being scared to die either. He is a very complex character, and it's such a relief to think that his characterization here worked. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate it!! :)

 Report Review

Review #5, by Courtney Dark In His Heart of Hearts

19th July 2013:
Tag!

Wow, this story was really, really good! You have such a lovely writing style, that much is clear from reading this one-shot. I love your use of descriptions and imagery - and this one-shot, as a whole, packed a really powerful punch!

I think you wrote Dumbledore, especially his thoughts and emotions really well, and he is definitely not an easy character to write! You rarely find any stories on this site from Dumbledore's point of view, so this was definitely a breath of fresh air, and I have certainly never read anything about what happened when Dumbledore found the ring.

You managed to tie the memories into the rest of the narrative really well - the whole thing flowed seamlessly, and I think the memories, short and simple, which you chose to write about were excellent. There was definitely a bit of Albus in his father!

I loved the last line: 'One year. One year, and then I’ll be with you.' It was so amazingly haunting and really just tied the whole thing together while being unbelievably sad. Great work!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: hi! I am so happy to hear that you liked this story! And my writing style - I feel so flattered! Thank you so, so much!

Dumbledore is a complicated character, so I'm thrilled to hear that you thought I did him justice in this one. Also, it's really, really great that you found this story somewhat different from most others, thank you!!

It's definitely nice that you think the flashbacks fit into the story, and that they didn't disrupt the flow! Oh yes, I agree that he shares some traits with his dad! :)

I am also really glad that you liked the last line! I have been debating on whether I should change it or not, but I think I'm going to keep it.

Thank you so much for this wonderful, encouraging review! I appreciate it so much :)


 Report Review

Review #6, by ChaosWednesday In His Heart of Hearts

22nd June 2013:
Hey! It's Whiskey from the forums with your review!

Ah, Dumbledore! Such a complicated character! And so difficult to write! And yet I find that you managed the task well :D His inner struggle and his constant planning and calculating came out strongly in your characterization, which is what made his moment of weakess so much more poignant. I really enjoyed the way the crack in the ring took on such a strong meaning to him, at once a broken dream and a reminder of his own mortality as well as his moral flaws.

I suppose I enjoyed this one-shot particulrly because Dumbledore's best moments in the books where when he admitted his guilt at past actions. I always had a sense that his reserve of pain and darkness is so vast and deep, we can only get little glimpses of it- and those are already disturbing enough! As someone who has taken upon himself so many responsibilities, he is the only one who can trully understand the gravity of his own actions and I am sure that no one can be more critical of a brilliant and strong man such as Dumbledore as Dubledre himself. And I find that you captured this complexity and tragedy very well!

I also found that the flashbacks were well incorporated into the text and flowed easily. If I could give any CC, then it would be to add some more details. I find your descriptions to be good as they are, but the tone of the story is already very distanced and cool, so I think a few more details would help us connect to the text emotionally (like the crack in the ring, i really loved that one!) Also, I don't know how I feel about the last line. On the one hand, it really does tie up the story and it's quite heartbreaking, but, in my opinion, it's not very Dumbledore-y...kind of sentimental and also a bit cliché...Maybe you could turn it into a question? He is very inquisitive and aware of the limitation of human knowledge. Something like: Will I really see you soon? Or: Are you waiting for me to join you? EH, well, I'm sure you'd be able to come up with something better :P Basically, something that would underline Dumbledore's exceptional status even more, even in death. It would add some loneliness to the statement, I think, if we don't get the image of Dumbledore going into a white light where his dead family members are waiting, but something more complicated and uncertain, something that doesn't whipe his slate clean.

ugh, I ramble.

Ok, well i liked the one-shot, hope you can weed out something useful from what's I've said!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for doing this! I really appreciate it :)

Dumbledore is such a complicated character. This was my first attempt at writing him, and it's very reassuring to hear that you think I pulled it off. That makes me so happy!!! :)

I don't think that I truly fell in love with Dumbledore's character until the last book, when his family history was revealed. It's just so tragic and sad and impossible to imagine, so writing it certainly is challenging. Once again, I'm so happy to hear that you think that this story captured at least a little bit of that complexity - thank you so much!

I'll definitely look into adding some more details! It's something that I always notice and think a lot about when I read stories, which is why I included the part about the crack in the ring. So I'll try to come up with something similar to add a little bit more depth. Thank you for the suggestion!! As for the last line, I definitely see your point. Perhaps the story would be even more tragic if it had been a little different, as you say. You make a very good point and I will try to come up with something a little less cliché ;)

This was such a lovely review, full of encouragement and helpful suggestions! I appreciate it so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! :)


 Report Review

Review #7, by teh tarik In His Heart of Hearts

17th June 2013:
Hello there :)

It's so rare to come across a Dumbledore fic these days, especially a missing moment Dumbledore story. I'm so glad to have found this fic, though. Dumbledore's constant journeys and trips away from the castle have always intrigued me; sometimes they're explained in the books, and other times they're not, especially in the earlier books.

Him finding and destroying the ring horcrux is a really significant moment in canon (after all, he destroyed a fragment of Voldy's soul), and yet there are so few stories on this. Maybe it's because he's such a hard character to write in canon.

This is a gorgeous story. Dumbledore is written so well here - his memories, his temptations and ultimately, his yielding to his own desires. It's one of the most human moments in his life. Dumbledore has, until HBP and DH, always been this sort of grand, iconic figure, a hero in the wizarding world who defeated Grindelwald and of whom Voldemort is afraid because they are so well-matched in their powers. And yet, here in your fic, all that greatness about him is set aside, and you've shown just how vulnerable he is to ordinary human emotions - to overwhelming desire, to love of his family, to intense grief, and most important of all, his inability to overcome himself and see reason. Which is why he puts on the horcrux of course.

The pain spread, like washing water, like furious fire, to the root of his finger and through the rest of the hand. He fell off his chair; his entire body was shaking. He could no longer see his dimly lit surroundings; he could not hear the baffled sound of the wind creeping into the castle. His mother, his father and Ariana – they were all moving further away from him.

Sorry for being useless and annoying by quoting almost the whole paragraph back to you :p But this is a really brilliant and striking way to write the curse that spread through his hand - which is also his death sentence. It's tragic; it's shocking, and there's something so heartrending about seeing such a great untouchable character being reduced to such a pitiful state, if only for a moment.

I loved the last few paragraphs: despite having been cursed and sentenced to die, he remains calm. It's a terrifying calm, almost, especially as he goes on to adjust his calculations and tweak his plans - when he should tell Harry and what and how much time there was left...Dumbledore is always planning, guessing (with much precision), thinking, and it's wonderful to see how well you've captured this aspect about him. The final paragraph and that last line were so sad :( He's completely unafraid of death of course, in fact he almost looks forward to it, and it wouldn't be surprising, given how long he's been alive.

Anyway, this was an amazing story. Great work writing this missing moment - missing moment fics set during the Hogwarts era are some of my favourites to read!

-teh

Author's Response: Hi!

Wow. This review, it just... blows my mind! How do I thank you enough for it??

I think that Dumbledore is very had to write, which may be the reason why people rarely try it. But it's kind of sad that they don't, because he also has one of the most interesting (and tragic) stories, which is why I chose to write about this moment. I'm absolutely thrilled to hear that you thought that he stayed true to his character in this, even though he's been portrayed as something close to a God in the earlier books. It's not really until DH that we see this weaker side of him, which, as you say, make him so much more human.

You're definitely not being useless or annoying - I love when people pick out their favourite parts and tell me, it's so wonderful to hear!! I'm glad that all those things came across in that paragraph. You're right, that right there is what kills the man most of us never thought would die.

I don't think Dumbledore would panic about the thought of dying. I'm glad you agree that this is how he would act - he would plan the remainder of his life, but he would accept death (or perhaps greet it as an old friend?). After all, it is in death that he finally gets to be with his loved ones again, that he gets what he has been longing for all his life. So yes, you could say that he looks forward to it, and I also think that he feels that once Harry knows everything he needs to know, Dumbledore will have served his purpose, and so he will be prepared for death.

I'm so glad that you enjoyed this story! I want to thank you a million times for your thoughtful comments and your incredibly kind words that mean so much to me!! You've really made my day, and I can't stop smiling :)


 Report Review

Review #8, by LilyEPotter In His Heart of Hearts

2nd June 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

You had me in tears by the end. Especially with the last line. Though it was good considering you showed the changing outlook of Dumbledore to realize that he would soon be with his family soon.

Great story!

Author's Response: hello! I'm so glad that you liked this, and that the emotions really came through. Dumbledore's life, and especially his youth, is just so tragic!! Thank you for your review, I really appreciate it! :)

 Report Review

Review #9, by Calypso  In His Heart of Hearts

28th May 2013:
Here from review tag!

Ooh a Dumbledore fic! It was lovely to read a story about him as you don't see them too often on this site. Very original! After reading DH, Dumbledore becomes a very complex character and it was lovely to see that explored, especially as well as you did it :)

The first thing that struck me about this was how gorgeous your descriptions are- I loved the bit where Dumbledore was looking at the ring and the sword and comparing them. I could really picture them, you described them so well!

The flashbacks were so sad! You did a great job of showing the contrast between the happy Dumbledore family before Ariana's attack, and the fear and uncertainty afterwards. The scene where Percival was waiting for the Dementors and making his sons promise to care for the family was heartbreaking.

Another thing you did well was explaining Dumbledore's compulsion to touch the ring- the way you wrote it it seemed completey understandable. The description of the pain was exquisite as well, and I liked how you used that incident to motivate his attitude to Harry that year. And the ending was so sad- it seemed especially upsetting that after all the amazing things Dumbledore had done in his life, he still dreamed of being with his family in death.

I really enjoyed reading this!

-Bethany

By the way, I really loved your title!

Author's Response: Wow, I'm thrilled to hear that this was something new for you, and a bit original - that's what you're always going for when you write, isn't it? It's great to hear!

I'm so happy that the descriptions worked! It's something that's very important for me when I read a story, so I'm very glad to hear that you thought mine were good. Thank you so much!

Also, I'm really glad that the flashbacks worked, and that all those feelings came across the way I had intended.

Well, this whole story was supposed to explain why Dumbledore 'lost his mind' in that moment, and put on the ring, without thinking about it. I'm glad that you liked it.

Thank you so much for your absolutely lovely compliments and encouraging words! It makes me really happy :) And you like the title? That's just amazing, I always struggle with titles.

Thank you again for this wonderful review!


 Report Review

Review #10, by DarknessIsMyOnlyFriend In His Heart of Hearts

26th May 2013:
I'm sorry it took a me a little longer than planned to get to this review. But here I am, at last :D

You immediately pulled me by your wonderful description. You took your time to describe the sword. I love a good description because it sets a tone for a story. And having the right tone is especially important in one shots. It also shows that you take the time to create a story around a plot-line. All good points!

I like reminiscing Dumbledore! His thoughts of Gellert and their adventures, they were good.
And I love that you created a story for him finding the stone. It's not done often I think, a story of that moment in his life. It shows so much of his inner struggle. You showed that very well with the inner thoughts and flashbacks.

It again makes me realise how much Albus went through in life. And how much he learned from all his endeavours. I think this moment changed the route of the war. It made Albus decide he needed to work faster. Share all his information with Harry. And make Harry understand that he had to be more proactive, that he could no longer wait around and stop Voldemort when he attacked. But attack Voldemort himself.

The first flashback flowed so seamlessly into the story, it was really good!
The second flashback was again very well intertwined in the story. The Dumbledore in it surprised me though. I know it should not because we learned that there was another side to him in the last book. And this description fits that information. Somehow I just keep picturing him as he was later in life.
Throughout the flashbacks it became clear to me that you were careful to be true to what we heard in the books about Albus. The ambition. The loss of the twinkle in his eyes. The need to grow up so fast.

A small typo: The black stone hade been clumsily attached to it. (had).

I really liked this story! It was different from stories that I have read and very well executed!
I'm glad you pointed this out to me! I am glad I got to read this!

Author's Response: Hi! Don't worry about it - I'm just really glad that you're doing it! :D

I'm so glad that those descriptions in the beginning worked, and that they pulled you into the story! That's wonderful to hear!

Well, I was reading the Deathly Hallows, and I just felt like I had to write about that missing moment. I'm glad that it worked well!

Yes, this moment was very significant for how things turned out - imagine if Dumbledore hadn't died? Everything would have been different.

It's great that the flashbacks worked with the flow of the story! And about young Dumbledore: as you say, he was a completely different person back then. It's hard to imagine that sort of cold, ambitious side of him. I think that the tragic fate of his family contributed to turning him into the wonderful, wise man we knew from the books, but he wasn't always like that.

Thanks for pointing out the typo! I'll go back and change it :)

It makes me so happy to hear that you liked this, and that it was different from other stories. I really appreciate this review and that you took the time to write one, so thank you so much!! :)


 Report Review

Review #11, by adluvshp In His Heart of Hearts

26th May 2013:
Hey! Here for review tag.

Aw this was such a sad and painful one-shot. I hardly ever read Dumbledore in fanfiction, but your story summary caught my eye and I had to give it a shot.

You captured Dumbledore's guilt and pain quite well. The way you incorporated the flashbacks was nicely done as well. You really portrayed Dumbledore's weak and fragile side nicely, and I really felt for him. The ending was sad but hopeful in a way that on death Dumbledore hopes to reunite with his family and ask for their forgiveness.

I noticed a few typos here and there, such as you spelt "spun" as "span" somewhere. But apart from that, it was all pretty well-written and made for a good read.

9/10
Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hello!
I'm glad that his guilt and pain came across. He's quite a tricky character to write, but he has such an interesting (although tragic) story, and imagine living for so long and build up that guilt that you're feeling.. it's awful, really.

Thanks for pointing out that about the typos, I'll go back and re-read and try to fix them. Thank you for your review! :)


 Report Review

Review #12, by magnolia_magic In His Heart of Hearts

24th May 2013:
Hi! magnolia_magic here with your review!

I really enjoyed this story. While I was reading the books I always did sort of wonder what was going through Dumbledore's mind when he put on the ring. I loved your take on this missing moment!

You asked about descriptions in your request, and I thought they were absolutely beautiful. I was really struck by the detail you put into the sword, and the contrast between that and the ring. The time you spent describing those objects really gave them a lot of significance, and I loved that.

And as for Dumbledore himself, I think you did well capturing his remorse about his family situation. The part of this that really hit me was when he was imagining what he would say to each of his family members. That was really emotional for me, and I'm sure a lot of your other readers have felt the same way. Great job with that!

As for the flashbacks, I think they worked really well overall. The only part I might work on is the paragraph that begins with "The scene changed." To me, that sounds too much like the descriptions JKR used when Harry was in the Pensieve. I would try for a phrase that sounds a little different. But other than that, I think the flashbacks worked well, and the scenes you showed us were well-chosen. I felt like I was really getting a sense of where Dumbledore's guilt stemmed from.

You did a great job with this piece! I'm so glad I got to read it. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more, and re-request any time!

--Maggie

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for taking the time to do this!

It makes me so happy to hear that you enjoyed this. I'm also glad that the descriptions seemed to work, and that they gave those two objects the significance they really had in this one-shot. It's also a relief that Dumbledore seemed to be in character - he's such a tricky one, isn't he? Yes, his story is so tragic in itself, and just imagining what he would say to them, if he had the chance, was quite sad for me too, actually.

Thanks for pointing out that certain paragraph. I'll have a second look at it and see if I can try to change it a bit. It's great that you think that the flashbacks were well-chosen, though!

Thank you for your lovely comments and encouragement, and for the helpful suggestions. I appreciate it so much, and I'm thrilled to hear that you thought it was good. You're awesome for doing this, so thank you (again!) :)


 Report Review

Review #13, by Lululuna In His Heart of Hearts

22nd May 2013:
Hello! :D So to start you need to know that this is absolutely incredible writing, and you should be extremely proud of this story. It's beautifully and thoughtfully written, carries a very relevant and poignant theme, and on top of that fits so smoothly into canon while still adding an original perspective.

I really enjoyed this weaker side of Dumbledore that is only really hinted at in DH. He becomes more of a mortal man in this story, one who has regrets that have haunted him for nearly a hundred years and which destroy in an instant the careful and intellient persona that he's built up.

The flashbacks are so intimately written, and though brief, are very effective in creating the symbolism of his lost memories. I loved the images of Gellert hiding the symbol on a napkin, and how that image is to Dumbledore an emblem of all he has lost. The line between his father and Ariana was really heartbreaking and sweet as well, and the whole story actually hit me rather emotionally. It's a truly tragic story, that of the Dumbledores, and nobody emerges a winner.

I think the story just flowed so smoothly and logically between the flashbacks, and jumping forward to the next day. I enjoyed Dumbledore's epiphany, and his acknowledgement that everything had changed. It's as if now that he has the purpose to fulfill in the next year, he can put aside his grief until he dies and is reunited with his family. It was really heartbreaking, but also hopeful, and perhaps this is what he needed in order to accept death.

It's too bad, I think, that he seems to forget that Aberforth is still alive. While Aberforth resents Albus, it saddens me a little that Albus didn't think of going to spend time with his brother or even consider him. :( For someone who preaches a lot about death to Harry, he seems pretty fixated on the dead and not the brother living a short distance away. In a way, however, this only makes him more human.

Honestly, this is a truly beautiful and sincere piece, and I'm so happy I got a chance to read it. If you don't mind me asking, what is your first language? It's just that you write English very naturally and poetically! :)

Some lines that I loved:
"his mother's soft hand against his now wrinkled cheek" - just beautiful, and strange to think how he is now older than his mother.
The ring as being of poor craftsmanship: somehow this just fit perfectly with the Gaunts and their peverse pride.

The only nitpick I would make is you might consider using a variety of adjectives to describe Ariana, not just "beautiful." But really, that was the only thing that stood out to me, this story really is perfection in words!! :)

Author's Response: Oh, I wish I could explain to you how happy this review has made me! I'm literally still smiling, several minutes after reading it - thank you so much for those incredibly kind words! They make me feel so much better about this story, and yes, maybe even a bit proud, even though I'm always critical towards my own writing..

I'm glad that Dumbledore's weaker side seemed to speak to you. After all, there is so much more to him than what meets the eye.

I'm so glad that the flashbacks seem to have both fitted into the story and served their purpose. That symbol must bring back the most powerful memories of his life, and you're right, his whole story is so incredibly tragic. Maybe he's one of the most tragic characters in the HP series.

Aw, that's such a nice (in a way) and comforting thought: at least he has that mission to occupy his mind until he'll be reunited with his family again.

Yes, in my perfect world, Albus and Aberforth would have reunited before Albus' death, but I didn't inclue anything about him in this story, simply because I think that the crack in their relationship never will be fixed, and I don't think either one of them (despite Albus being the magnanimous and forgiving person he is) would be able to reconcile after what happened with Ariana. Sadly.

I am Swedish :) Haha, I'm really flattered and grateful that you think that my English is good. I only want to get better, haha ;)

Thank you, as well, for pointing at the lines that stood out to you. That's always very interesting to hear. Yes, it is quite strange. I thought about that a lot when I wrote - imagine him meeting Ariana again - she'll be a teenager, and he's a very old man.

I'll definitely edit the descriptions of Ariana, because I really agree. Thank you once again for this incredible review, your lovely comments and compliments - I really can't tell you how happy it makes me and how much it means to me, especially coming from someone whose writing is as brilliant as yours! So thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!! :)


 Report Review

Review #14, by s2rocks In His Heart of Hearts

22nd May 2013:
I' here for review tag:

First of all I really enjoyed this one shot of yours. When I started reading it I didn't thought that I would like to know How Dumbledore destroyed the ring but know I feel good knowing this or should I say your version.

You have beautifully described the feature of Gryffindor sword and I liked the inscription part very much. How that ring act as time turner for him.

I loved his memories of his father and how he told them to take care of his mother and sister.
how bad he feels that he had disappointed his father, not being able to fulfill the promises he made.

Then of course his wish to see them which led him to wear that thing, it might have helped if you have shown there was some kind of magic on the ring which attracts the person who was touching it to wear it.

Great writing :)
-Shelly

Author's Response: I'm really happy that you liked it, even if you didn't expect to!

It's great to hear that you liked those descriptions! And that the memories worked... like I said in the story, he's had a hundred years just living with that guilt, so it must have grown and grown, I imagine!

That is a good point! But do Horcruxes really do that? I figured it was just his strong desire to see his family again that made him want to wear it, but maybe you're right!

Thank you again for another lovely review! :)


 Report Review

Review #15, by HeyMrsPotter In His Heart of Hearts

20th May 2013:
Hello! Here with your requested review :)
This is another really beautifully written story of yours. It completely sums up why I love fanfiction, because I can read the bits that were part of the stories but never written. Honestly, this could have come straight from a HP book.
I think your characterisation was perfect, from young Dumbledore grunting at being disturbed when reading to old Dumbledore. I could definitely imagine him having such a poignant and private moment when he found the stone, the way you incorporated the flashbacks into this was excellent.
The fact that he knew exactly what he would say to each member of his family was so typical of him, I can imagine he'd have had this conversation with himself countless times before.
I didn't spot any grammar or spelling errors in this and it flowed really well.
Some of my favourite lines were:
"it worked as a ruthless reminder, as a rough hand, grabbing his heart so tightly that it could no longer beat as it should" -this is such a powerful line, it could have come from JKR herself!
"His eyes did not twinkle, like they used to – they were cold, determined." I think this perfectly describes a side of Dumbledore that we see a lot in his older age.
"The pain spread, like washing water, like furious fire" really effective use of alliteration here and paints such a vivid picture of his pain.

All in all, another excellent story. Sorry if this review was just me gushing but your writing is just brilliant! I'll stop now as I seem to have ran out of adjectives ;)
Good luck in the challenge!

Author's Response: First of all, thank you so much taking the time to do this! I really appreciate it :)

Aw, that is such a lovely response - I think that's why I love fanfiction as well (and also because it fills the empty void inside me that has existed ever since the end of the HP series) ;) This could have come straight from a HP book? I'm blushing! Thank you so much for such an amazing compliment!!

I'm glad that you like the characterization - Dumbledore is so complicated, so I'm really happy that you think this story does him justice!

Thank you for pointing out your favourite lines as well, it's so nice to hear that a few of them stood out to you. JKR herself? Haha, I'm not sure if I agree on that, but once again, what an amazing compliment! I just want to give you a big hug and thank you for being so encouraging!!!

This review certainly brightened up my day! I hope you know how happy you've made me! Once again, thank you so, so, SO much! :)


 Report Review

Review #16, by -BookDinosaur- In His Heart of Hearts

19th May 2013:
Hi, -BookDinosaur- here with your requested review!

So, I really enjoyed reading this one-shot, I think you managed to successfully show the reader Dumbledore's inner thoughts and feelings. You characterised him very well and and I could completely imagine this scene happening in the books, so well done on that.

Your description was also excellent, you really brought this scene to life in my mind.

The story flow was good, and the flashbacks you put into the story were really well shown and they worked very smoothly.

There were some spelling errors throughout the story but nothing major, and there were also a couple of errors in the punctuation, for example speech marks. The comma goes inside the closing speech mark, not outside. So basically, nothing too major. ;)

All in all, a really nice one-shot that I enjoyed reading.

Author's Response: Hi! I'm really glad that you enjoyed reading this! And that Dumbledore was well portrayed - he's such a tricky character, so that makes me very happy to hear! You can imagine this scene happening in the books? That's probably the best comment I could get - thank you so much!!

I know now that it's supposed to be ," and I've edited, it's waiting for validation! Thanks for pointing it out though! :) It helps me learn and get better and I really appreciate it.

Thank you so much for your kind words, advice and for taking the time to do this!


 Report Review

Review #17, by Illuminate In His Heart of Hearts

18th May 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

This is a really good oneshot! I like stories that explore scenes that we know happened but we didn't actually get to see.

I think this is a great portrayal of Dumbledore's pain and inner feelings, as they are so often not shown in the original books instead of his cool exterior. We forget that he has lived for well over a hundred years and how much his guilt and pain must have grown over that time.

Great prose, nice descriptions and has a lot of emotional impact :)

Great job!

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm so glad that you liked this! It's nice to hear that his pain and feelings really came across. Yes, it's hard to even imagine what he's really going through.

Thank you so much for this wonderful, encouraging review! I really appreciate it :)


 Report Review

Review #18, by patronus_charm In His Heart of Hearts

17th May 2013:
I saw this story on the recently added list and as I love this whole era of Albus, Gellert and Arianna I couldn’t resist reading it, and I’m so glad that I did :D

I really loved this one-shot, as I find that Dumbledore’s such a complex person and you really managed to catch of it all. I think it was the fact that you went into detail about his family and its history and I really loved it. I may be being biased as I find the whole Dumbledore family and their story fascinating but either way it really was great.

I really liked the idea of the Deathly Hallows sign being a reminder of his past. It was a really powerful idea and you managed to maintain that idea throughout the entire story. I think my favourite part of that was the bit with Gellert, as Albus + Gellert = pure awesome. I think it was this line ‘young Dumbledore nodded, leaned in towards him and whispered’ which really showed the power Gellert had over Dumbledore, and how Dumbledore held those views.

You managed to ease the reader into the flashbacks which is something rarely done, so yay for that. I really loved Percival’s characterisation and you really caught the love for his children and why that drove him to such limits to do what he did. That entire scene was so tense with Percival nearly crying, Albus shouting and Aberforth arguing. I felt so bad for Albus for having all of that on his shoulders at such a young age, and it made sense the way he stepped up to the mantle.

I really liked the ending part ‘One year. One year, and then I’ll be with you.’ it was really powerful and really showed how Dumbledore had been waiting this for so long. Even though he denies being like the third brother he was like that in that case due to him wanting death and knowing that he will have it one day.

The only CC I would give is regarding your grammar with dialogue. In several cases like here ‘“They will come for me any second”, Percival explained.’ And here ‘“We will take care of them”, he promised. ‘ the comma was placed after the dialogue when they should be after the them and the second.

Other than that I thought it was a really great one-shot and perfectly captured Dumbledore’s complex past with only a few flashbacks!

-Kiana

Author's Response: I'm very glad that you decided to read this too! :)

Yes, Dumbledore certainly is complex. It makes me so happy to hear that you think that came across in this story. And I agree, their family is very fascinating!

I'm so glad that you liked the part with Gellert. In a way, I wanted to write more about him, because the two of them together are so interesting, but then again, that wasn't the focus on this story. It's also nice to hear that the Deathly Hallows sign worked well!

It's great that the flashbacks didn't confuse you - that's the challenge of writing flashbacks, so that makes me very happy! So does the fact that Percival's character seemed fitting - yes, that is an extraordinary love he feels for his children (or maybe just any parental love? I'm not a parent yet, so I don't know!) I feel bad for Albus too! He really was too young for it, which really showed in the way he ended up handling it.

I'm also very glad that you liked that last line. I wanted to show that death would be almost a comfort for him. Yeah, he is like the third brother in that way.

Thanks for pointing out that mistake! I wasn't actually aware of the fact that the , should be before the " in English, but now I do! So thanks for teaching me that ;) I'll go back and edit as soon as possible!

Once again, thank you so much for reading and for leaving such a wonderful, encouraging and helpful review! I appreciate it so much :)


 Report Review

Review #19, by HorseMad99 In His Heart of Hearts

17th May 2013:
Hi, it's your requested review here!
First off, the language mistakes. In the first paragraph rather than 'illumined the otherwise complete darkness' it should be illuminated and late on where you talked about Marvolo Gaunt you accidently wrote 'Mervolo' but apart from that the language was very good. If you hadn't told me that English wasn't your first language then I probably wouldn't have known.
The description and setting of the scene was very good, I really like the description of the office at the start.
The flow was very good and the flashbacks were shown clearly and worked well so there was no confusion there.
I really like the characterisation of Dumbledore, it was very realistic and I could really imagine this being a real scene with him in the Harry Potter series.
It was very good, I really liked it!
Beth :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to do this! Thanks for pointing out those mistakes - I'll go back and edit them as soon as possible!

I'm so happy to hear that you liked the story, the characterization and the descriptions, and that you can imagine this being a scene in the series, since that's exactly what I was trying to accomplish. Thank you again for your help and for your lovely comments! :)


 Report Review

Review #20, by MrsJaydeMalfoy In His Heart of Hearts

15th May 2013:
Oh wow. This is such a heart-wrenching piece. It's so full of emotion that I'm not sure if I want to smile that Dumbledore's going to be with his family soon, or cry because he only has one year to live. :/

This is one of the very few Dumbledore-centered fics I've ever read, and I have to say it's created a lasting impression! Your description here is amazing, the emotions you conveyed are amazing, and there were no spelling or grammar mistakes that I noticed... you are just one very talented author, and I'm definitely going to have to take a look at some of your other work, now!!

Amazingly good job, dear, 10/10!

Author's Response: I'm so, so happy that you liked this, because I have such mixed feelings about it. It's sad that he's dying, but yeah, he'll finally get to see them again.

I'm so happy to hear that you liked the descriptions and emotions, and that I didn't seem to make any grammar mistakes. And thank you so, so much for giving me such wonderful compliments and being so encouraging, I appreciate it so much! :) You always leave such lovely reviews, and I don't know how to thank you enough!!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login