Reading Reviews for How I Met Your Father
  
112 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore Chapter 1: The Weasley Clan

24th May 2015:
Hi again, Lizzie - here for another Red vs. Gold Review Battle review!

Ah, I was all ready for the story to properly begin this chapter, but this just left me with more clues and hints about what happened and there isn't much which is clearer, so I'm definitely going to have to read on at some point to find out. It's almost like you're teasing us with this chapter, letting us know that there's so much more to find out and vaguely hinting at it, but at the same time not really giving away too much. It's clever writing, but also kind of frustrating for me as a reader :P

My only criticism for this chapter would be that some of the information, particularly with the switch between narratives, gets a little bit confusing, and there's a lot of it to process all at once. I'm sure that it's necessary for a later point in the story, and we need to know about all of these characters, but at the same time I think you could maybe work all these differences and ages etc. into the narrative a bit more smoothly, so it doesn't feel quite so much like you're just giving us a lot of information at the beginning. It wasn't impossible to follow, or anything, and I can understand why you did it - the fact that Rose says all of those people are really important to her story is really sweet - but I think if you were to edit this chapter you could maybe include it a little more gradually and smoothly. That's just a personal preference, though!

I really like the fact that Rose and Scorpius are telling this story together, in a way. I know that's something I mentioned in the last review but I do enjoy knowing that there's a happy ending here, whatever we're going to see them go through - so all the different things that happen to them are clearly going to be worth it, since they're happily married now. It was also really sweet to see the interaction between them; they're clearly still in love, but also a couple who've matured in their relationship and been together for a long time, which fits what we know about them so far.

It's really nice to see Valania getting to interact with her parents as well, here, and seeing the relationship between them. I think you've captured the family dynamics really well here, and that's only going to improve through the story as we see more of them. The split narrative works really well for that.

And so many little hints and details here... I'm so curious about what happens next! I'll definitely be back to try and find out soon!

Sian :)

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Review #2, by nott theodore Prologue

24th May 2015:
Hi Lizzie! I've been meaning to come and read this story for a while - the title intrigued me even before you became more active on the forums and I realised it was you that had written it - and so I'm here for the Red vs. Gold Review Battle!

This was only short, but it was definitely an interesting introduction to the story. I like the concept that it's inspired by - I love the TV show - and so I was intrigued to see how you're going to use that and adapt it for a fanfiction story about Rose and Scorpius. I'm glad that you're not just copying the storyline from the TV series and you've obviously come up with your own; it's been a while since I read any stories about Rose and Scorpius, so I'm interested to see how you do this!

I think it fits really well that Rose was kind of hesitant about telling her daughter the story of how she and Scorpius got together at first; it would explain why the story hasn't been told before now, or at least for details of it to have trickled through in conversation, and for Valania to have some sort of idea about how her parents got together. It also fits because we get the idea that there was something forbidden about this romance, which works with the Weasley/Malfoy pairing, as we know their families didn't get along (at least at the start) and the idea that Valania wasn't exactly planned.

One detail that I liked was the way that Scorpius was there to tell the story with Rose, and that they were telling it together - it makes it different straight away from the story that's told in the TV show (I'm still refusing to watch the finale because it got leaked to the UK before I actually got chance to watch it, and I'm angry at the thought of it). It's going to be interesting to see the two different perspectives on their romance, and especially the way that the two of them tell the story differently and yet together.

I'm really intrigued about how they got together, too. I think there's a lot of potential here right now; Rose and Scorpius are quite a common pairing, and I've read quite a few pregnancy stories featuring them, and I'm interested to see where you take this and how you make this different from some of the clichés that are around.

Sian :)

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Review #3, by TreacleTart Chapter 9: Quidditch Tryouts

17th May 2015:
Hey Lizzie,

I'm so sorry that I somehow inadvertently skipped this chapter. I certainly didn't mean to. This makes a lot more sense now. I was wondering why Scorpius and Rose had gone from being not affectionate to suddenly snogging, but of course it's because I missed this chapter.

I thought that Scorpius asking Rose out officially was a sweet gesture. I do find it kind of amusing though since they are having a baby together. Still it does make things official in a nice sense. I think him admitting that he's in love her is really touching. Him being in love with her for all this time definitely makes their random hook up not quite so random and much more believable.

Quidditch trials went by pretty quickly, which I think is a good thing since James looked like he was on the verge of losing his mind. I could imagine all of the first years being quite terrified. Hopefully, James won't take it too hard when Rose can't play, although I have a feeling that it will only cause more problems because Scorpius is her back up.

Another good chapter! I'm getting scarily close to the end of this! Please, hurry up and write more!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Kaitlin,

Ha! No worries! I only pointed it out because I didn't want you to miss that convo between Rose and Scorpius and them getting together. It's a little weird if you miss that. ;D

Oh yeah, they're definitely doing things backwards. Or, at least SHE is. He's always been in love with her, so him being freakishly perfect for her does make a little more sense...

Hmmm...James' reaction to Rose being unable to play...Uh oh. I'm gonna have to go in and edit this one...He's supposed to find out that Scorpius is her replacement here, not her back up...

whoopsie!

And now I notice, because of your awesome reviewing Kaitlin!! Thanks!
LL


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Review #4, by TreacleTart Chapter 11: A Plan of Catastrophic Proportions

17th May 2015:
Hey Lizzie,

I'm here for the Gryffindor Review Battle! Go Team Red!

Hmmm...is this some sort of malicious plan or really a plan to set James and Lia up together because they are both so clearly head over heels for each other? It seems like even though no one is saying it, everyone kind of knows that the two of them have a thing for each other.

I wonder how this relationship will work out between the two of them. I imagine that once James starts treating Lia like a girl he fancies instead of his mortal enemy that things will smooth out. Maybe she'll finally feel comfortable expressing interest in him as well.

One thing that I wanted to tell you is that I'm really happy you're taking your time with the big reveal to the parents and the school. I notice that sometimes in fanfic things come across rushing, like there's some deadline to get to the conclusion, but you're really taking the time to build your world properly. I'm really enjoying following along with it.

Ugh. Lizzie, I have so many questions about what happens next. Good work on this! I'll be back soon!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Kaitlin,

Mwahahahahaha! The whole 'Operation X' plan is obviously a bit stupid, because James and Lia are perfect for each other, so there's obviously going to be a point where the whole plan falls apart. The big question will be why it fell apart... :D

Good! I'm glad you don't think I'm going too slowly! I worry about that a little bit. I mean, there's the parental unit reveal, and THEN the reveal to the rest of the world...they're separate for a reason, and I think the main one is that I want them to be out of school before the REALLY big reveal comes along. I kind of want the full brunt of the media to hit them at home before they go back to school.

Because I'm evil like that...Hehehehehehe.

Thanks again for reviewing!!
LL


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Review #5, by Dr. John Hamish Watson Chapter 1: The Weasley Clan

17th May 2015:
Hello again.
It's John Watson, here to tell you what I think.

Where shall I start?
I know... I like the way Rose and Scorpius really tell the story together. We haven't learned much about their relationship (or their beginning) yet, you focused on the extended family and background information in this chapter.
Since there never is a clear timeline (when which Weasley grandchild was born...), I think it's very important to clear that up early on. The way you did that was efficient and quite good to read, yet it wasn't very exciting. Maybe that's just me becoming used to the excitement (that comes close to craziness very often) at 221b Baker Street.

I like that Weasleys and Malfoys get along now, even the older generations. This is something that has become my headcanon. Draco simply has to get along with Harry and Ginny in my opinion.

I must dash now, to tell Sherlock to stop playing the violin in the middle of the night.

Yours truly,

Dr. John H. Watson

Author's Response: Dr. Watson!

Oh man, I have SO many issues with this chapter these days...but I'm glad you liked it! I know that the background information isn't well done or exciting - I've got to go through and edit it to make it work a little better. Hopefully it'll work a tad better once I've done that.

Oh the older generations getting along is one of my headcanons too! It's just one of those things that's got to happen just 'cause of all the funny jokes you can make! Well...there are other reasons too...but that's the main one.

Good luck with Sherlock and the violin! And thanks for reviewing!!
LL


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Review #6, by TreacleTart Chapter 10: The Wrath of Lia

17th May 2015:
Hey Lizzie,

I'm here for the Gryffindor Review Battle! Go Team Red!

Uh oh! As soon as I read the title of this one I was a bit nervous. Lia getting angry doesn't really sound like a good idea.

I know literally next to nothing about pregnancy, but is it common for morning sickness to last that long and be that severe? I mean I've had friends who have had minor bouts of it, but never anyone who was as sick as poor Rose. Just curious.

James has finally done it and drove Lia mad. My first thought is that he must really like her because he sure seems to want a lot of her attention. I mean why else would he be driving her crazy right?

Lia's plan to marry Fred seems like a terrible idea mainly because Fred is into Alice, James is into Lia, and I think Alice is into Fred as well. It just seems like this is going to get really messy and dramatic.

I wonder if Fred is going to tell Lia that James is into her and if that will change how Lia feels about the whole situation.

Also, I should say that I really like that this chapter was focused on someone else. I'm enjoying Rose's story, but it was nice to get to see a bit more interaction with some of the characters that you've created.

I'll be heading over to your next chapter now because I can't wait to see what happens! Thanks for another enjoyable read!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Kaitlin!

You're right, getting Lia angry is definitely not a good idea. :D

Well, morning sickness can really vary from person to person. It's become a pretty stereotypical symptom to write about with pregnancy because it's the most outward and most common during the first trimester. Since she's 8 weeks here, she could have another month's worth of morning sickness.

I'm pretty sure it eases up by 10 weeks for her though...I guess I tried to write it pretty average, not to severe, not to light...I've known women who had both lighter and worse bouts of morning sickness, which is where I'm basing most of this on.

Of course James likes her! It's just taking everyone about a million years to figure that out!

This IS going to get messy and dramatic, but who doesn't love some good soap opera level drama? I know I do. :D

I'm definitely as interested in your reactions to the coming chapters as you are to what's coming. The drama really starts to pick up in the next bit...

Thanks for reviewing!
LL


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Review #7, by Dr. John Hamish Watson Prologue

17th May 2015:
Hi Lizzy!
John Watson here.
My friend Sherlock asked me to do a background check on you -and look what I found! Another story. And it starts off really good.

I don't have much time to indulge in watching television, as you can imagine -the criminals never sleep in London. I have heard of the series that inspired you to write this and I might have even seen a few episodes (or all of them ;) ).

I enjoyed the way you started this off with the implication that Valania wasn't exactly planned, and that Rose and Scorpius found each other because of her. I am very partial to romantic stories with happy endings, so I love the way you began by telling us the happy ending and going back to the beginning from there.

There is a slight difference from the TV series, as Scorpius joins Rose in telling their story, and it is going to be interesting how they do that. I'll go read the next chapter now.

Yours truly,
Dr. John H. Watson

Author's Response: Dr. Watson,

First of all, WHY DOES SHERLOCK WANT A BACKGROUND CHECK ON ME?!?!?! *Looks over shoulder nervously* Did I do something wrong?

I'm glad that you've managed to find the time to watch HIMYM despite all the crime solving Sherlock has you helping him with. It really is a good series isn't it?

Oh yes, there's definitely a happy ending. I'm not good with sad endings - like HIMYM. UGH.

Scorpius definitely has a say in this story! He'll even have some moments where he takes the wheel and does the telling too. :D

Thanks for reviewing!! I really appreciate it!
LL


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Review #8, by TreacleTart Chapter 8: The Ultrasound

16th May 2015:
Hey Lizzie,

I'm here for the Gryffindor review battle round 2! Go team red!!! (I'm excited to finally be back)

I'm pretty surprised at this point that nobody besides Dom and Lia have figured out that Rose is pregnant. Considering how often she's throwing up and her random aversion to food, not to mention the odd cravings that she's having. I feel like the big reveal must be coming soon.

The part about the ultrasound was interesting. I thought it was sweet that Rose and Scorpius are so shy about her naked skin, particularly since Scorpius and her have carnal knowledge of each other.

The scars on Rose's belly were intriguing. I wonder if there is some major significance there or it's a red herring. I feel like it wouldn't have been pointed out if didn't have something to do with the story.

I know you've told me that this story goes in a direction that I don't expect it to, so I'll be curious to see what happens. I almost wonder if Rose loses the baby. I mean I hope not, but it certainly wouldn't be expected. That's for sure. Plus the ambiguous sort of ending on this chapter makes me think it's not going to all be smooth sailing.

Any who, that's enough speculation for now. :D Another good chapter Lizzie. I hope to be back really soon to read more!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Kaitlin!

Here's the thing I've figured out about teenagers: for the most part, they're pretty self-centered. And not in a bad way, it's merely the nature of being that age. And because of this, it can take a LOT before someone notices something strange going on with a friend that is actively being hidden. I don't think people realize how much slips past them on a day to day basis.

The only reason Lia figured it out (because let's be honest, Dom hadn't really figured anything out) was because she's not one who let's much past her without notice, AND she is actively invested in Rose everyday, while the rest of her friends and family are less so.

So in terms of the BIG reveal. Well, you'll just have to wait a while. :D

"Carnal knowledge" HAHAHAHA! I'm sorry...that phrase just makes me laugh. It's not that you used it...it's just that it's such a strange phrase!!

Sorry, moving on...

You're right to notice the little things about Rose and Scorpius being a bit shy and the scars on her stomach. I won't say anything else...but just know that those are intentional details.

And you're right, it's definitely not going to be smooth sailing - in a lot of different ways!

Thanks for reviewing Kaitlin!
LL


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Review #9, by TreacleTart Chapter 7: Who's the Father?

6th May 2015:
Hey Lizzie!

I'm here for the Gryffindor Review Battle Round 2! Go Team Red!

I know I keep saying this, but Rose really has been lucky thus far. Lia and Dom have been incredibly supportive of her and the fact that they aren't interrogating her for answers is quite admirable. I can't imagine it would be like that for most people. Maybe the supportive friends part, but definitely not the asking no questions part.

I think it's sweet that Xander has asked Dom to Hogsmeade. I wonder if he'll be the one that changes her heartbreaker, cavalier attitude towards men. I know she's a commitment phobe, but it only takes the right person to change that. I know he's kind of awkward and shy, but maybe they'll have some sort of special connection.

And on to the big reveal! Scorpius is seriously my new hero. He has handled this perfectly from the jump off. He's supported her, said all the right things, and now he's facing down her best friends as if it's no big thing. Kudos to that boy.

I thought Lia and Dom's reactions were pretty good too. I know if my best friend were in this situation, I would probably threaten the guy too because that's what real friends do, right?

Anyways, another good chapter. This is really starting to move along nicely now. And since I haven't commented on it in the last few revies, as always the flow and pace of the story is good so far. Your characterization seems authentic to high school children. It's easy to follow the cuts between current day and the past. Well done, Lizzie!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Kaitlin,

Rose is really lucky! I should totally change that. :D

Just kidding.

Her luck goes bad later. *Evil laugh*

Dom and Xander. They were one of those "unusual love stories" that I mentioned way back in the second chapter...but...I've got new plans. Better plans...evil plans...

Wow, I've gone dark side with this response.

Thanks so much for your review! I'm glad you like the characterization and flow...that's definitely one of those things I worry about, especially as more time passes between when I publish one chapter and the next!

You're awesome!
LL


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Review #10, by TreacleTart Chapter 6: Betting and Quidditch

6th May 2015:
Hey Lizzie!

I'm here for the Gryffindor Review Battle Round 2! Go Team Red!

I think me and Valeria are sharing some similar thoughts. I thought the whole "I Like you" "I like you too" thing was a bit cheesy, albeit in an admittedly cute sort of way. Rose and Scorpius do seem a bit cheesy with each other still, but it's sweet and really endearing.

The bets on the different relationships are amusing. That sounds like something I would've done when I was in school. Poor Lia, always gambling and always losing.

I was a bit surprised that Madame Bones gave Rose permission to play Quidditch. I mean I know that women can still work out while pregnant, but considering the violent nature of Quidditch, I would think that would be a pretty massive risk to take. What if she got a bludger to the stomach or fell off her broom or got hit with a beater bat? I personally think her decision to play is a bit reckless.

I was a bit surprised that she just blurted out that she's pregnant to all of her friends. For some reason I thought there would be more of a lead up, but I'm excited that it's finally happened! I'm really interested to see everyone's reactions and how quickly it spreads around the school.

The only constructive criticism I can offer here is that I'm running out of chapters! Go write more! Like right now!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Kaitlin!

*SNORTS* Oh. My. Gosh. The entire "I like you" "I like you too" thing totally comes from my inner cheese factory. Don't worry, it's meant to be more sickening than adorable. Val is completely justified in her thoughts.

The betting on relationships definitely comes from Marshall and Lily and the bets they made on Ted, which will definitely come into play later. :D

Well, most contact sports allow pregnant women to play relatively early on in their pregnancy. Quidditch is about the same as Soccer and American Football in terms of contact level, which you're okay for the first trimester. Believe it or not, but a bludger to the stomach at this stage would likely be okay, since the baby is so small and surrounded by so much fluid and other organs. That's what I was keeping in mind when I wrote about this, although I never had the intention of having Rose actually play to begin with...

Hopefully I'll do a good job of writing everyone else's reactions...I'm not entirely sure how that's going to go, to be honest.

Ah! I'll hopefully be writing more soon! Definitely wouldn't want you to run out of chapters!!

Thanks for reviewing!
LL


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Review #11, by TreacleTart Chapter 5: Gossip

6th May 2015:
Hey Lizzie!

I'm here for the Gryffindor Review Battle Round 2! GO Team red!!!

I think Lia is getting a bit suspicious of Rose's sudden cravings. I mean I know that palates change over time, but it would be pretty strange to be scarfing down food you once hated for no reason!

Lily does indeed seem like she's up to no good and this Mark character sounds a bit shady to be honest. I hope the other girls knock some sense into her before she gets herself in trouble.

Also, I can't believe that Rose spilled the beans on Fred liking Alice. Seriously, that's going to cause some problems. Based on Ava's reaction, I'm going to take a guess that Alice is also madly in love with Fred and Ava's about to go tell her. I really hope not though, for Albus' sake...and really I guess for the sake of the entire family.

Aghhh! And this version of Scorpius you've created. Seriously, where the heck do I find one of him? He's just too sweet to be true. He literally does and says all of the right things. It's so adorable and Rose is so lucky to have someone so supportive.

I hope this review doesn't leave you yelling "I go over that in the next chapter!", but in case it does, I'll find out soon since I'm headed to the next chapter right now!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Kaitlin,

Hahaha! Now that you're really in the thick of things, all I can do is confirm or deny suspicions...

Lia may not be SUPER smart, but she doesn't miss much. You're right, and she's pretty quick to figure things out.

Mark, oh. There's a character that is going to play an interesting role. You're absolutely right. He is shady, and his relationship with Lily is a VERY interesting one...

Al, Alice, Fred, Ava - they're all crazy and they're all going to cause major problems. That's all I'll say.

Yeah, I think I'm going to keep Scorpius perfect. Who cares if it's realistic or not?

Whoot! Keep reading Kaitlin! And thanks for reviewing!!
LL


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Review #12, by TreacleTart Chapter 4: A Close Call and a...Kiss?

5th May 2015:
Hey Lizzie!

I'm here for our review swap!

Gahh. Scorpius is just so sweet. I am so beyond relieved that he didn't bail once the nerves kicked in. A lot of guys would put in his situation. He even volunteered to go with her to tell her parents about the pregnancy. What a brave and responsible soul! I just want to give him a hug.

I thought it was pretty amusing that James tripped and fell down the stairs. Not exactly the best story for a broken bone and definitely not a good enough story for the master of pranks. I chuckled quite a bit when I found out that Rose was going to blackmail him with this information. I bet that will come in handy when she has to tell everyone about her pregnancy, although I think at that point James might be too angry to care.

So if I'm calculating correctly, Rose should be just about 2 months at this point then? Hopefully, her morning sickness will be ending shortly. It's so weird how some women get it really bad and others not at all. Soon she'll definitely start having to expand her clothing because her baby bump will grow.

Also, the drunken hookup between Rose and Scorpius seems very sweet for what it is. Usually, drunken hookups are portrayed as messy and sloppy, but I don't suppose that they always have to be that way.

I'm really enjoying this story so far! I'm looking forward to the big reveal!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Kaitlin!

Yeah, Scorpius is a little TOO perfect to be realistic, but I stopped caring after a while. For once, I kind of want there to just be the perfect guy and the problems to not actually come from that.

James just cracks me up here...I kind of wanted to show him in a not-so-great moment for first before you see him in a larger, positive, setting - since I image that kind of distorts how he acts with who he is in a way. If that makes any sense.

Rose's morning sickness will ease up by the end of the first trimester, so 12 weeks, or three months - and she's at 7ish in this chapter...so still a ways to go.

Hmmm. I don't know how drunk they are. Perhaps buzzed...but not drunk. I've never been drunk before, or even had alcohol, so I'm woefully naive when it comes tor writing stuff like that. I didn't intend for them to be completely hammered though...

Regardless, thanks again for reviewing!!
LL


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Review #13, by TreacleTart Chapter 3: Fred's Got a Secret

5th May 2015:
Hey Lizzie,

I'm here for the Gryffindor Review Battle Round 2! Go Team Red!

After the last chapter, I really wanted to get to this one and see what was to come! I think it's interesting that Rose seems so much lighter and happier now. I don't know about her, but I think I would be freaking out all the way until the baby came. I guess that's probably how I know I don't want children. Any who, I admire her ability to cope. She seems like she's doing remarkably well so far. It will be interesting to see how that changes as she begins to show.

The dynamic between her and the rest of her family is very chaotic. Honestly, it gives me a bit of a headache trying to keep up with all of them, but I think that's a good thing because it speaks to their crazy relationships. I'm an only child (and only grandchild), so it's hard for me to comprehend dealing with such a large group of people all the time. I digress. I think the different relationships seem authentic and each family member seems to be very distinct.

I will note that the characters you've written do sound a bit American to me. This could just be because American is my default dialect, but I think it has to do with a lot of the colloquialisms that you include in your dialogue.

I definitely like how the story is progressing and I can't wait till the action really begins. I'm counting down chapters until Ron, Hermione, and Draco find out. I can't wait to see those reactions!

As always, another good chapter! I look forward to reading more.

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Kaitlin,

You're right to see a little bit of a disconnect in how much happier Rose is. There's a little bit of a lack of response on both her and Scorpius' sides that won't really come up again until much later. :D

Wow, I can't imagine being the only child or grandchild. It's actually pretty easy for me to relate to the Weasley family because my own family and extended family are HUGE and the dynamics are all pretty similar (sadly, we're not redheads though). Which is why I LOVE writing about the Weasley family. It just imagine one of my own family reunions, and BAM! I've got about a dozen different things to draw ideas from.

Hm, I hadn't really thought about how American it sounded. I know I'm only throwing in a few British phrases here and there, but I'm not going all out to try and make it sound British. I'll have to look at that...

HA! Their reactions...I like how they reacted, but we'll have to see if I did them any justice...

Thanks for reviewing again Kaitlin!
LL


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Review #14, by TreacleTart Chapter 2: The Hospital Wing

5th May 2015:
Hey Lizzie,

I'm here for the Gryffindor Review Battle! Go Team Red!

Rose is pregnant! I can only imagine how terrifying that could be for her. Even at my age, I still find the prospect of children terrifying and couldn't imagine dealing with that in my teenage years. I really feel for her. This is all quite the mess.

I was happy to see Scorpius stepping up and being honorable. He helped create the child, so he should absolutely help support Rose during her pregnancy and be around to raise the child, whether they end up together or not.

Both Madame Bones and Professor McGonagall were very kind to Rose. I think they realize that she feels horrible and scared enough as it is without them making it worse for her. I'm glad that they were both there to help her through and will be by her side as she continues to adjust to life as a pregnant woman/mommy.

I really pity her for the fact that she's going to have to go through this in the public spotlight. Her parents are famous enough on their own right, but then you add who Scorpius' parents are and the long standing fued between their families. It's like a made for tv soap opera. I imagine none of them will get much peace.

Waddling around school with a big pregnant belly will be interesting as well. I never really gave much thought to what happens to pregnant witches. Where I live, when a girl gets pregnant during school, she gets sent to continuation school as soon as she starts to show. I guess I always assumed it would be similar elsewhere. I'll be curious to see how you deal with this.

I think so far that this chapter has been the best one I've read, mainly because the story really starts moving in it, but also because of the amount of detail you've included. I could really envision what was going on as it occurred.

The only little thing I wanted to point out (and this is me being a major nitpick) is that you'd have a really hard time getting sick from "suspect crackers". I mean they would literally have to be covered in black mold to make someone sick. Even the white fuzzy mold that you might see on a mushy raspberry is edible. Gross, but edible. Anyways, I don't think most people would pay that much mind. Just something that struck me as a bit funny.

All in all, another good chapter. I'm excited to see where this is all going and how you tie this into the happy family that they are now. Good work!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Kaitlin!

Whoo! This was a LONG chapter, no?

I felt like I had to write Scorpius, Madame Bones and McGonagall all supportive, at least this early on, because I just felt too bad for Rose otherwise! Especially knowing what is in store for her...

HA! It really is like a made for tv soap opera!! Just imagine!! That's hilarious! Also sad, but mostly hilarious!

Oh! It's interesting to hear what happens to girls who're pregnant in schools where you live. For us, they could stay in school all the way up to a month before the baby was due.

Hmmm, the "suspect crackers" - you're right, it would be really hard to actually get sick from that...it still looks a little weird to me too. I think I was trying to come up with something bland enough that Rose might eat it to keep her from throwing up again, but suspect enough that the not-quite-the-brightest-bulb-in-the-box friends (Lia and Dom) wouldn't question it getting her sick. I dunno, I might have to revisit that one.

Thanks again for reviewing Kaitlin!
LL


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Review #15, by Unicorn_Charm Chapter 1: The Weasley Clan

5th May 2015:
Team Red!

Holy crap, Lizzie! This is just amazing!! I'm so in to this already. I mean, that was a lot of information, but it wasn't overwhelming at any point. You wrote the backstory of the whole Wotter clan so, so, so well and so, so, so convincingly. I mean, this could be canon! It was just really well done.

I can't wait until this really gets going and we really see how Rose and Scorpius came to be. I can just tell that this is going to be a fantastic ScoRose. You've put a lot of work into it all. I haven't read a Gryffindor Scorpius, so I'm totally excited for that, too.

I really don't know what else to say, besides, this was great. I can't say that enough and I apologize for the insane gushing of this review. I don't have an CC at all. None. Is the whole story going to be like Rose talking to her daughter with Scorpius and Val chiming in here and there, or is it just going to turn into a normal narrative? Either way, I wouldn't mind, I'm just curious.

Great, wonderful, excellent, spectacular, lovely, amazing job so far. Love it!!

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Meg!

YAY! I'm so glad you like it!

I've seen so many different versions of the Wotter clan, that when I was writing this, I just felt like I had to put it all out there so that I didn't have to do any of the explaining later...so I'm glad you like that!

Ah, Gryffie Scorp...there's a story behind that. It'll come up eventually. :D

The majority of it is told from Rose's POV, but don't worry, Val and Scorp get their say as well!

Thanks for reviewing Meg!!
LL


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Review #16, by TreacleTart Chapter 1: The Weasley Clan

4th May 2015:
Hey Lizzie,

I'm here once again for the Gryffindor Review Battle Round 2! I thought I'd sneak in one more review while I had time!

I was excited to see that story really get started, but it was all a tease. This chapter seemed to be a lot more set up for what was to come. Not that this is a bad thing though. Now I have a burning desire to hear about all of these "unusual love stories".

The voice you've given Val seems very authentic to a teenage girl. She's intensely curious, a tad bit whinney, and a bit snarky. It works really well. It really contrasts nicely against Rose's motherly tone.

I also enjoyed the bit of back and forth we get to see between Rose and Scorpius. They really seem like a couple who has been together for a long time. It was very sweet.

The only real constructive criticism that I have for this is that the part where you're listing all of the family members is a bit tedious and slightly confusing. I get that it will probably be essential to the story at some point, but I think you could maybe find a different way to phrase it to make it a touch clearer.

All in all, I think this is another good introductory chapter and I'm really looking forward to getting to the meat of the story. I hope to be back to read more soon!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Kaitlin!

Ah, the "unusual love stories" - that was, once upon a time, a reference to a bunch of other stories I was going to write about from this same storyverse. I've pretty much scrapped all of them at this point. Although there's a fair few that have gotten mixed up with some other stuff I'm writing, so maybe you'll see them eventually...

I have SO many issues with this chapter, looking at it now, it really is a big set up, and I'm okay with it being that, but you're right, it definitely needs to be a bit clearer. It's probably going to get a good edit pretty soon, so hopefully it'll be a bit better then.

Anyway, thanks for reviewing!
LL


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Review #17, by TreacleTart Prologue

4th May 2015:
Hey Lizzie!

I'm here for the Gryffindor Review Battle Round 2! Go Team Red!

So I've been eyeing this story for a long time, but have been hesitant to read it because a. I love How I Met Your Mother (except for the finale! Don't get me started) b. I'm not sure what characters would be appropriate to fill into the story from the HP world c. I know what type of quality writing you do, so I have HIGH expectations for it. Anyways, I'm finally here and excited to read it!

This chapter was short and sweet. It was a nice little introduction into the story and I was happy to see that you chose to write about Rose and Scorpius. They seem to fit together very naturally in a forbidden love sort of way. The relationship between there families gives them a lot of potential for an awesome back story, so I'm intrigued to see where you go with this.

I thought that it was interesting that Rose was so hesitant to tell her daughter about her relationship. It makes me wonder if there are some really salacious details coming. I loved that Scorpius was there for sort of moral support in the telling.

I think you've got a lovely start here and I'll certainly be back soon to see how this story progresses. Keep up the good work!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Kaitlin,

So, I'm only just now getting around to answering my reviews...which means I get to read all of your reactions to HIMYF in order. This'll be fun! :D

The reasons for you being hesitant to read is are all extremely valid (don't worry, I hated the finale too), although your HIGH EXPECTATIONS are kind of terrifying!! Especially since these early chapters are the REALLY bad ones... hopefully I do a pretty decent job of fulfilling those expectations...

Anyway, I'm glad you liked this little prologue, and thanks for reviewing Kaitlin!
LL


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Review #18, by Crumple-Horned Snorkack Prologue

4th May 2015:
Greetings, I am the Crumple-Horned Snorkack and while I have rarely been seen by humans due to my abilities to camouflage with the forest in which I live, today I have crept into the HPFF Archive to read your story instead.

I love the premise of this story - believe it or not, the Snorkack is a great fan of the show How I Met Your Mother (there's a really long extension cord on my TV so I can still watch it in the forest. My friend Bigfoot is the one who got me into the show, which he enjoys watching after a long and tiring day of stomping around.) One thing I appreciate about your version of the story though, is that Scorpius is actually there so I know I'm not in for a sad ending ultimately (yep, still not over that finale ugh)

Even in a short amount of words you've gotten across some important personality features in regards to Rose, who I can tell enjoys reading, and the way she begins her story to Val sort of indicates how she thinks in this kind of roundabout way but is stubborn about it - I'm sure it made sense in her head but poor Val is just bewildered haha. And it seems she's also gotten into her fair share of mischief and mistakes during her Hogwarts years, if the last lines are any indication. It's an interesting take on a teen pregnancy story - I've never seen one approached from this angle before, and it'll be interesting to see where it goes from here!

It looks like a great start! I have very much enjoyed this prologue. But now, I am back to the woods for I promised to watch Top Gear with Bigfoot.

Author's Response: Well hello there!!

I can't believe that you're a big fan of HIMYM! I never would have expected that, but it's good to know that even the Snorkack keeps up with what's on the air! Don't worry, I'm not over the finale either.

Thanks so much for your review! I really appreciate you stopping by to leave me a review! Give my love to Bigfoot! :D

LL


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Review #19, by jessicalorewrites Chapter 1: The Weasley Clan

1st May 2015:
hi! here for the gryffie review swap and I must apologise right here and now for this being so late (and not even in april anymore!). my time in general has been sparse and then when I did have the free time I completely forgot, until I got your review for my story just now! anyway, you'll have to forgive me.

putting my hand up right now and owning up to pREGNANCY FICS ARE MY GUILTY PLEASURE. this has a fun twist though in that there's none of the 'will it be a boy?? will it be a girl??? what will its name be???' stuff; the non-linear aspects add to it more than I was expecting though! although it's a little confusing with this chapter in particular I think that's purely because of all the switching around but I understand it's necessary switching and it wasn't too hard to work my way through :) there's a few instances where you need to watch your tense, but overall you worked with it really well.

james' birthday... now that's a topic! of course 18 isn't as widely celebrated in the wizarding world as it is in the muggle world but that doesn't mean his birthday can't go out with a bang! I think maybe a comment or something from val saying "18th? why was he bothered about turning 18?" and a silly response from rose/scorpius about how james "just loves to party" would be really apt with putting across more of his personality whilst also tying into the realism of the wizarding world and their turning of age celebrations (and beyond).

ahh I can't believe val never did the maths! tbh I wouldn't either I'd probably blindly trust my parents too but how did she go so long without anyone ever once bringing up the fact rose was still in hogwarts when she was pregnant?!?! ajfdksnafjhdg. this isn't meant as CC by the way, just my random ramblings and incredulous reaction to the characters hahah.

also I'm super intrigued now about what EXACTLY happened that night. at first I just thought it was sexy times too but the comments rose/scorp make make me wonder... what if? what else happened? I want to find out!!

this was a really fun chapter which I'm sure will set up the rest to follow very nicely ♥

- jess, xo

Author's Response: Jess!

Thanks for your awesome review!!! :D

I KNOW! Pregnancy fics are a total guilty pleasure of mine(probably the reason why I started out with writing this fic)...I dunno why. Maybe it's like reality TV, it's just addicting and dramatic.

Anyway, you're right about this chapter being confusing. I've got a LOT of work to do to improve it. I want to finally put this fic to rest after this summer, so it'll probably get some major work done to fix it up!

James' birthday. I didn't really think it through, but I guess James is just a party kinda guy...it just makes sense that he'd throw a party EVERY year, not just one the special ones. But you've got a good idea with having Val interrupting and asking such a question!! I absolutely LOVE having her around to ask questions for the reader...makes it way easier to explain stuff sometimes.

Yeah, Val didn't do the math because basically everyone is on board with avoiding the topic. The reasons behind that are yet to be revealed though.;)

Hm...what if indeed? There is a specific reason why R/S made those comments, not to worry, they were intentional! (Side note: if you make it to ch 15: Cassandra Gersemi, you might end up with some answers. Or just more questions!)

Thanks so much for R&R'ing Jess! I really appreciate it!!

LL


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Review #20, by Lady Asphodel: Gryffie CTF - Round 3 *Attack* Chapter 7: Who's the Father?

6th April 2015:
For the Gryffie CTF - Round 3 *Attack*


It's good that Rose have supportive friends, especially in this time of need. Now I fear how her parents (Especially Ron) will take the news.


The mac and cheese - I love mac and cheese, but with ketchup - no. Just no. lol.



I can see how much of a big shock it was for Lia and Dom to find out that Scorpius is the dad. Although, I assume, that Ron and Hermione (or maybe mostly Ron) won't have the same type of reaction or level of acceptance.

I wonder if the ultra sound is similar to muggles way of ultra-sounding, or you have a magical way in mind.


I think this story would do nicely if you add more description. I mean like... delve into the scenery, sense of taste, smell, sound and touch at some points at the right time.


This is still a nice chapter though!

- Asphodel

Author's Response: Alishya! You came back!

Yeah, though, as a forewarning, mostly everyone else doesn't react so well...

MAC AND CHEESE WITH KETCHUP IS AWESOME! I don't know why I like it so much, but it seems like a weird enough thing for a pregnant woman to crave, right?

I wasn't creative enough to come up with a better magical form of ultrasounds, so I was super lame and put it off for a little bit by saying that Madam Bones only had a Muggle version. Kinda sad huh? I need to work on that.

Good to know about needing to add a little bit more description! I think I'm definitely a tad dialogue heavy, and prefer to write that than descriptions, so I'll have to do some practicing and get some edits in!

Thanks again Alishya! You are such a great reviewer!!
LL


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Review #21, by krazyboutharryginny - round #3 Chapter 6: Betting and Quidditch

6th April 2015:
Aw no! It's about time that all those emotions came out, but I still feel bad for poor Rose.
I love the character of Valeria. She amuses me and I hope we'll get to see more of her. You should maybe consider doing a story centering around her!
That was brilliant thinking on Lia's part, blackmailing James XD Nice one! I hope he doesn't get too suspicious and figure it out though.
I do think this is a little bit rushed though, just at the end. You should maybe add more in terms of Dom and Lia's reactions, because it feels kind of thin. Just a thought :)
-Kayla

Author's Response: Kayla,

Told you the freak out would come eventually! Although this isn't nearly as bad as it will later.

Remember Harry's freak out in OOTP? Yeah, the one that seemed like it should have come WAY earlier (in my opinion)? Rose sorta does the same thing.

I do have a couple of one-shots about her...but I think I'll wait on those until this story is complete, since there's spoilers in them!!

And once again, she nails it with the CC's!! Seriously, thanks for pointing that out!

A pleasure as always Kayla!
LL


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Review #22, by Lady Asphodel - Gryffie CTF Round 3 Chapter 6: Betting and Quidditch

6th April 2015:
For the Gryffie CTF Round 3 *Attack*


Ahh this line, "fall in ‘like’", is so cute! Haha.


I was a little confused at first reading the beginning (but then I remembered the prologue.)


Not sure if you got that line from HIMYM or if you came up with it yourself. Either way, it's a nice touch. ;)


I am enjoying reading the relationship between Rose, Ava, Dom, and Alice. The rules of the bet is also a really cool idea!



*reads on*

Wow! I guess this is what happens when I don't get to read the other chapters. I was greatly surprised to learn Rose is pregnant. *Thinks back* Oh wow... When Scorpius said that she was bearing his child to Albus (even though he was joking to Rose) I honestly thought he was joking. *Face-palms.* Hopefully the others on the Quidditch team don't give Rose much hassle.


*reads on*


Oh.. I see Rose's friends finds out anyway. Teen pregnancy is most common, especially at parties.

Honestly reading this really gives me a a slight more different perspective on the next-gen characters.


Very intriguing indeed!


- Asphodel

Author's Response: Alishya!

Wow, to jump from the prologue to this...I can get why you'd be a little confused!!

The "fall in like" thing is totally me. It comes from my inner cheese factory.

The basic idea of the betting between Rose and Scorpius comes from HIMYM. The couple that I definitely base them off of does something sort of like that, except they don't have the non-interference rule. :)

Thankfully Scorpius was joking. If he hadn't been, I think Al would have had more of a reaction, don't you?

Thanks for R&R'ing, and I hope that you come back and read some more again!
LL


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Review #23, by krazyboutharryginny - round #3 Chapter 5: Gossip

6th April 2015:
Whew! I'm so relieved that Scorpius didn't really tell Al. That would have been a jerk move.
Rose is so clever for disguising the book like that! And it's so nice that Scorpius wants to borrow it.
It was funny at the beginning of the chapter when Rose forgot that she didn't like mac and cheese! I can't believe she managed to wiggle her way out of that situation.
Lily is SUCH a fourteen year old in this! It's pretty hilarious!
-Kayla

Author's Response: Kayla! (Stop leaving me so many nice reviews! It's making me blush!)

Hehehee. Gives you an idea of his sense of humour doesn't it? Scorpius does the whole "not-totally-sure-if-you're-joking-or-not" brand of humour really well.

Mac and Cheese. One of my favorite foods, but I totally hated it when I was younger. I forgot one day and just started eating it. The looks my parents gave me...that's what I imagine when I think about this scene.

Fourteen is a terrible age when you experience it, or when you look back on it. But observing it? I agree, totally hilarious! And Lily just seemed like the perfect person to do the over-dramatic typical teenage girl thing with.

Thanks again Kayla! Your reviews never fail to make me smile!!
LL


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Review #24, by missesweasley123 - round 3 Prologue

6th April 2015:
Hey! Wow, what an interesting start to a story. It really is great! As I've never seen the tv show how I met your mother, this whole concept is very new and interesting to me :P It's not awfully long, but just the right amount of information for a great hook. Good job on that.

This is mostly dialogue heavy, so if you were to go back and edit, I would recommend adding some description. Whether it's through emotions or just describing the setting.. it'll overall create a stronger sell of a prologue! You've given just the right amount of character hints to the readers, and that works really well for you though! I'm really excited to see how this takes off! ♥ I also love the name Valania! Reminds me of a friend. Also, Scorpius is absolutely adorable with Rose!! Great work.

Accio Attackers Round 3

Author's Response: Nadia!

So glad you finally made it to this story! Less cringe worthy no?

I like that I managed to give enough info to give a good hook, I really worked hard on that!

I've gotten a couple of comments on adding some extra description before, so I think I'm definitely going to have to do a little bit of editing for this chapter!

Thanks for R&R'ing Nadia, you're comments are ALWAYS appreciated!!
LL


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Review #25, by Lady Asphodel *Attack* [CTF - Round 3] Chapter 5: Gossip

6th April 2015:
Hey Lizzie! *Attack* [CTF - Round 3]


Forgive me for not knowing much since I'm already past four of your chapters without reading them.



Anyways, I wonder (again because I have only read the prologue) if James really over his gf or is actually moving on.


And then there's Fred and Lia. I wonder if they'll get together like how Dom mentions it. :P


And Lily, Lily, wow, I'm surprised by her behavior. I always imagined her to be humble like Harry, but your take on her (in this chapter at least) was a twist or an eye-opener for me.


Scorpius gathers up the nerves to ask Rose out, hehe. I like the interaction between them two. They have a nice banter between them. I always love banters.




Again, sorry for the crappy review. I enjoyed this chapter though.



- Asphodel

Author's Response: Alishya!

Don't apologize! It wasn't a crappy review at all! I like all reviews! Even if they only say "I like pancakes" in them. Because, honestly, who doesn't like pancakes?

James is over his girlfriend. I can honestly say that. There's a reason too...it comes in the form of another girl...

Speaking of! Fred and Lia. HA! That's good, I'm glad you agree with Dom...maybe she's right, maybe she's wrong...

Oh Lily. I think she's much more like Ginny than Harry. Although this moment with her is truly the height of a particularly angsty phase. She gets over it when she gets really badly hurt at some point.

I like their banter too! I always worry that it doesn't come off right, so it's good to know that I'm getting something right!

Thanks for R&R'ing Alishya! You're supercool!
LL


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