Reading Reviews for The Fallen
19 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Beeezie The Fallen

9th July 2014:
Wow. I love your fics.

This was gut-wrenching for so many reasons. I felt so terrible for Remus's anguish, which you did an amazing job at describing - one of my favorite parts of the story was the sense of ownership, almost, that he takes over James and Lily. (It's not the perfect term, but I'm in a rush and can't think of a better one.) The thought that the other people at the funeral didn't know them like he did, and the envy of Petunia for being able to keep a part of them when he couldn't - it was perfect to me, and it came across as incredibly genuine.

It was also really, really sad because of what we know that Remus just doesn't - and can't, right now. Wishing that Peter had been the secret keeper, and the anger he's got to be feeling toward Sirius - it's all built on a lie, and it's heartbreaking in its own right.

Great job.

House Cup 2014 - Ravenclaw

Educational Decree #5

Author's Response: Aw thank you!

I'm really glad that you liked the description because I think it was this story which made me really love him because he really has had a tragic past and you just want to hug him forever because of it. The envy of Petunia was a strange thing for me to write because that relationship of the Marauders and her has never really been discussed but it does make me wonder if they had any feelings towards her or not.

Thanks for a great review :D


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Review #2, by MargaretLane The Fallen

9th July 2014:
"House Cup 2014 Review"

Love the description of him as the stray wolf. And it is SO in character for Remus to blame himself, when he is the one person who isn't to blame.

And how ironic that he thinks everything would be OK if Peter had been secret keeper.

Aw, that part about how he will make Harry proud is so sweet. And sad.

I LOVE the last paragraph. It's so sad and nearly brought tears to my eyes. Remus's words are so emotive and I LOVE the comparison between the cold stone and how frozen he feels.

The fact that they died in a time of celebration must make it even worse. Especially since their deaths contributed to Voldemort's disappearance, since it'd make you feel as if being glad he was gone was being glad they were dead.

Author's Response: Aw, I'm so glad that you liked the description of Remus as he really is a heart breaking character from all the angst he screams out so I really wanted to show it here. Don't even mention the irony of it, it just makes me s sad :(

I know, that's why it makes me wonder if he had Harry in his life would he be so cold and frozen or would he be more open and happier. Thank you for a great review :D


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Review #3, by SilentConfession The Fallen

22nd August 2013:
Hi! I'm finally here for one of those promised reviews!

This is absolutely stunning. I'm out of words for it but there is so much grief in this piece that I can't find the words to describe my reaction! I've never read a story about the funeral of James and Lily. Nor Remus' reaction to it. There either isn't many out there or i've been living under a rock. Whatever the case though I loved the angle of this. These intense emotions that run through Remus are very vivd and poignant. It was the perfect scene to trigger his introspection. I also liked the abstraction of this and the way Remus goes through the motions of the funeral together with everyone. It really highlighted his need for community and acceptance. And also his loneliness and how he had no one now.

One of the things that I thought of while reading this, especially the bit about Harry was that this gave an even stronger reason for him to have run after Harry in the last book. He as sick of being an observer, perhaps, but he was also trying to protect and save the last bit of Lily and James. He wanted that flame to live on as well. It must have been had though because he kept losing everything he loved and knew.

This is such a heart wrenching piece. There are some really lovely details you've included that made this seem realistic. Writing his guilt, the idea of people being innocent or not, of him hiding and being thought of a traitor really brought me into the story to begin with and it gives a view of how uncertain life was then. How uncertain allegiances were. The way his his guilt was brought in quite a few times throughout the story was brilliant and how he was constantly second guessing himself. It would be hard when he was always defined by his friends and now he has to wade into the unknown alone.

You've written a brilliant piece that I think has captured this moment for Remus perfectly. You have a great balance of angst and description. I felt the story a lot but I also felt like I was there and could experience this moment clearly. I know how hard it is to find that balance but you've nailed it with this. Lovely job!!

Author's Response: Wow, I can't really find words to respond to this amazing review either! I've never one about it either, so I thought it would be great way to combat the not so nice part of the end of school feel! I'm so glad that you liked his thoughts because I found myself thinking like him when writing this. I'm really glad that you picked up on his loneliness as I never realised how hard it must have been for him until writing this.

I'm glad that you liked the way it tied into the book. I always found their relationship a rather odd one in way with Remus never looking for him so it was nice to come up with a reason here. I'm just so glad you got exactly what I meant to write!

Yay they were realistic! I've fortunately never really had to experience grief so it was a bit of touch and go as to whether they made sense or not. I think his guilt over their deaths would never fade and that really saddens me. He's just one of those people who could never really see it wasn't his fault.

Thank you for these wonderful compliments, they really did make my day! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it so much! ♥

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Review #4, by blackballet The Fallen

3rd August 2013:
This is so good! I did notice a couple of times you used don't instead of doesn't, but other than that it was great! It made me very sad, and I think you depicted Remus very well.

I think he held it together very well, and it was good that you mentioned Remus and Peter as well.

Good job!

Author's Response: Thanks for telling me! I'll make sure to fix them! I'm really glad that you found it sad because that's what I was aiming for and that you liked my portrayal of Remus :) Thank you for this lovely review!


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Review #5, by ginerva_molly_weasley The Fallen

16th July 2013:
This is well... just so powerful. The imagery of the church with both Lily and James being taken in is just a little too much to handle particularly when you know what happened that night and how brutal it was.

I can see Remus reacting in this way exactly with him not knowing which way to turn because he just simply has no-one left. He is the outcast in his own life and they were the mighty four and now he's on his own. You just can't quite believe that can you that after everything he's on his own. I hate how he blames himself that he wasn't their secret keeper. It was never fully explained why he wasn't however I can see him blaming himself.

The last paragraph is heart breaking. You have a lovely writing style. I really loved it

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you liked the imagery in the Church because I tried hard to get it right and capture the air of what their funeral might have been like.

You got what I thought Remus would be like perfectly, which is great because I thought my characterisation was a little skewed in places! I hate it too :( I think that's why I love Remus because he's such a tragic character and one who never seems to get over anything.

Thank you for those lovely compliments and review, I'm glad you liked it so much!

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Review #6, by magnolia_magic The Fallen

15th July 2013:
Hi Kiana! I stumbled across this in my HC reviewing quest and thought I'd stop by. And I'm so glad I did! This was such an intense story, and told by one of my favorite characters.

At first I was confused as to who the narrator was, but when I realized it was Remus everything came together. (This happened close to the beginning, don't worry!) I love the way you've delved into his thoughts here. He feels out of place in the church, looking on at his friends' funeral, because he feels that he should have done more. Was that where the "traitor" comment came from? He feels like he betrayed them because he didn't do anything to stop their deaths? You did so, so well at making his guilt real to me; it's a heavy coat to wear, certainly, and I really felt for Remus here.

That last line of dialogue. "You will not be forgotten." So haunting! I love that you included it, because it feels like the beginning of Remus' redemption. From this moment on, he's determined to stand up for the right side.

This was such an awesome character study! I loved reading it. Keep up the wonderful work!


Author's Response: Hi Maggie! I'm so glad that you liked this one-shot, it means so much to me!

Phew, I was really worried then and thought I had to make some major changes :P I'm so glad that you got his thoughts because it was exactly what I hoped I would convey so yay for that! I'm glad that you picked up on the guilt because it is something which continues to follow him right up until his dying days.

I completely agree, it does seem to say that from then on he won't give any chances at being judged to be a traitor he will be him no matter what. Thank you for this fabulous review, Maggie!


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Review #7, by Erised The Fallen

14th July 2013:
Hey there!

Goodness, this is so beautiful and so sad. I felt as if you really connected with Remus as a character and so managed to write him in such a perfect way. He is a very multi-faceted character and I felt that you definitely expressed that with his sorrow and anger at himself for feeling like he failed his friends. To have his life change so drastically so quickly has clearly taken a toll on him emotionally and you wrote it ridiculously well.

I also thought that the funeral was done really well - through Remus' POV we see how many people are there which is really nice to see as Lily and James would have been such a celebrated couple. I definitely felt that you managed to convey so much emotion in one small but excellent piece with your lovely dialogue and descriptions.

Greta job on this, well done!

Author's Response: Hi!

Eek, I think I may have died of happiness while reading the first two lines. Thank you so much! I'm really glad that you connected with him and I saw that with how deeply you analysed him.

It seemed right to do it from Remus' POV as he went through so much with the pair of them, and I'm glad that you liked it too. Thank you so much for these lovely compliments they really made my day! ♥


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Review #8, by quixotic The Fallen

6th July 2013:
This is for the Blue vs. Bronze Battle!

This is a heart-wrenching story for sure. It's rare that people write stories about James and Lily's funeral and to do it from Remus' point of view, no less. You've pulled it off effortlessly.

I loved some of the lines in the story like the bit about the worm and 'a rare case of the world of living colliding with the world of the dead'.

At that point in your story, Remus was suspected to be a traitor. Hence I like the way you've made him slip with the shadows, rather than give him a speech to say, or something. Either way, being inconspicuous was always Remus' style.

Great job!

Author's Response: Hello there!

I know, what you mean about people rarely writing about the funeral which is considering how many Jily stories there are around, so writing it here was a new experience, and I'm so glad you thought it worked!

I liked that line too, and the part about making Remus more of an observer rather than active person. I think fanfiction made me realise how awesomelly complex Remus is, so it's great that you liked that aspect of him too!

Thanks for this great review ♥


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Review #9, by -BookDinosaur- The Fallen

13th June 2013:
Hello Kiana! Here for the Ravenclaw Review Battle!

Such a sad piece-I was feeling so bad for poor Remus. You're right, it must have been such a horrible time for him. Two of his best friends had died, and he believed that one of his greatest friends betrayed him. And the him saying 'if he had been the Secret Keeper, or even Peter' was just so ironic.

I really liked your description in this one-shot, it all really emphasised the sombre atmosphere of the funeral.

I loved the line 'The last time those two were part of that procession it was in significantly happier times.' It really brought home the pain of their deaths and the fact they didn't live to see twenty-five. It was just so sad. :(

Anyway, all in all, this was a brilliant one-shot which really broke my heart.

Author's Response: Bam! This is going to be one of my speedest responses :P

I'm glad that you felt bad for Remus, because even though it isn't a nice feeling, it is the purpose ;) I'm glad that you agree with me, and it really makes me feel for him. I had to include the irony, because I think that's what makes the situation so bad, because if he knew he would at least have Sirius, albeit in Azkaban.

I'm really glad that you liked the description, as I tried to tie it in with the feeling of a funeral. Ah that's so tragic, everything's so tragic about this!

I'm so glad that you liked it, and I'm sorry that I broke your heart! Thanks for this great review ♥


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Review #10, by Calypso  The Fallen

8th June 2013:
Ohmygosh Kiana, break my heart why don't you?! :P

I feel so awful for Remus. You really captured how shattering the deaths of his friends must have been for him. There was a flat, hopeless tone to his narration in this that really seemed to show his grief, and guilt and with all that, a kind of numbness. Right through the funeral, it felt like he was just going through the motions, almost as if he still couldn't take in what had happened.

Your characterisation of Remus was spot on. I liked his desperation not to attract attention, to the point where he was willing to turn up late to the funeral, and the way he wanted to make Harry proud but in a passive way. The whole bit with him thinking about Harry was really sweet, actually.

And oh the irony! Especially when Remus was lamenting that James and Lily hadn't chosen him or Peter as the Secret Keeper. And when he was feeling so guilty and responsible for Peter's death. I kept wanting to yell at the screen NO ACTUALLY PETER'S THE TRAITOR! :P But it really rubbed in how unfair Lily and James' deaths were, and how little it would have taken to have avoided them. :(

I loved the little detail of the worm in the soil, and "This is a rare case of the world of living colliding with the world of the dead." That line was seriously beautiful.

I also thought it was apt that he didn't break down until the end. The last two paragraphs were just perfect- his final words to Lily and James, the description of him "grazing" his fingers against their names, and then the final contrast between the celebrating world, and poor Remus' grief. Beautifully and subtly done.

I really enjoyed reading this!


Author's Response: Hi Bethany! Sorry about that, but now you know what poor old Remus was going through :P

I'm so glad that you liked his narration and that you picked up on all the emotions I was trying to get across. I've never been through grief as badly as he has but I can imagine that he would be going through, but like you said, I can imagine it would be as if he was just going through the motions.

I'm so glad that you liked his characterisation as I love him as a character and I didn't want to do it badly. I'm glad that you liked the bit about Harry as I always wondered why he didn't go after Harry so I had to come up with a solution to it.

I know! I couldn't help but laugh a little when writing that! I was yelling too, and I was making it happen so I would hate to think what Remus must have felt like when he realised it had been all wrong, and, again, like you said, showed how awful their deaths were by them being betrayed by their friend.

Eep thank you for saying it was beautiful ♥

I'm so glad that you liked the last two, as I only wanted him to break down then as the realisation hit him and he realised how awful it was.

Thank you for this lovely review, Bethany, it really made my day ♥


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Review #11, by UnluckyStar57 The Fallen

4th June 2013:
Hi! I'm here for the B v. B review battle!!

What a sad piece I picked to read!! I felt really sorry for Remus, who, it seems, cannot bear the pain of losing all of his friends with one fell swoop. It was brilliant the way you connected all of that, and manifested the bad feeling into the only "whole" character left of the bunch.

But he isn't whole, not really. He's been scarred, marked already by what he became, and cut deeper with the hardships of war. He feels set apart from the solemn, yet innocent churchgoers, but he wants to do as they do, to feel as they feel: That it was a sad event, but to feel no great heartache. He cannot. He is forever an outcast.

You juxtaposed the two--Remus and churchgoers--quite perfectly. And, even though it was a whole bunch of sadness, I'm very glad that he decided not to let his grief kill him.

The only CC I have is that sometimes your pronouns were a bit unclear. Otherwise, this was the perfect, heartbreakingly-saddest story.


Author's Response: Hi there UnluckyStar57 :D

I'm glad that you found it sad as that was the point of the story, even if I do feel a little evil about it. I'm so glad that you liked how I brought it all together as I think that's the saddest thing about him.

I'm really glad that you got that he was never really whole as I feel as soon as Greyback bit him he was different and he never really got over that fact.

I really loved that juxtaposing it was a lot of fun to do even if I did feel a little evil when doing it. I think the grief always left a big mark on him, and he never recovered from it but he would never allow it to kill him.

I'll go and review those, so thanks for that! Thank you for this wonderful review ♥


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Review #12, by ShadowRose The Fallen

26th May 2013:
I stumbled upon this the other day, and it's been open on my computer as a reminder to read & review. Boy, am I glad I did. Oh my gosh, Kiana, this is seriously amazing.

I love the way that you characterized Remus - as always the outsider. I think the narration in this story really adds to that, because it has that similar detached feeling, that really serves to emphasize Remus's isolation from everyone else. I love how he ends up commenting on his own emotions, because it really kind of shows how introspective he is, rather than being directly involved in everything around him.

You do an excellent job portraying Remus's emotions in this, as I feel so bad for him throughout. I love the burst of anger in the middle: "Yet, where were they during the war? They didn't do anything to prevent this from happening. They didn't do anything to prevent him from turning traitor. They left them to fight the battle to the bitter end, on their own. It is only now that they decide to turn up." That anger is often a significant part of grief, and I like that you capitalized on that here, because I can see Remus feeling that way.

I hate that the poor guy blames himself, but once again, that's another really important element of grief that you throw in here. "He allowed them to become one of the fallen." This line was beautiful, and really shows how much Remus blamed himself, and how gutted he was by James', Lily's, and Peter's deaths.

The description in this little one-shot is beautiful, and really adds to the overall mood by creating a really sombre atmosphere.

The ending was absolutely perfect. I wanted to cry - it was just that heart-wrenching. "The reign of darkness is over, yet Remus still cannot find the end of his tunnel." This was a fantastic way to end this, as it really wraps up the story and shows all the pain that Remus is feeling.

Overall, this was beautiful, and I'm so glad that I clicked on it! :)

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

Author's Response: Hi Taylor, ah this review it was lovely ♥

I'm so glad that you liked Remus' characterisation he's a hard enough character to crack at the best of the times, but trying to capture him when he's grieving was surprisingly hard! I always thought of him to be an introspective person and I'm so glad that you picked up on it!

I've never been through the same level of grief Remus must have been going though so hearing you say I did an excellent job of it turns me to mush. It felt to include a bit of anger, because if I was in his situation I would be angry at the others, so it's great to see that you thought likewise.

I hated writing that line as it was so wrong and not true of Remus, but it's what he must have been thinking at that time so I had to include it. I'm so glad that you liked it though!

I'm sorry I made you want to cry! Everyone seems to really like the last line which is surprising as I wanted too keen on it, but it got across, like you said, that Remus is suffering and probably will do for a long time!

Thank you for this amazing review Taylor, it really made me smile ♥


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Review #13, by Lululuna The Fallen

25th May 2013:
Hello! Ah, sorry about this being so much later! :( The shady airport I was waiting at turned out to not have internet, but I have the story open and am writing the review now in anticipation of posting it later.

Wow, this was really beautiful! I think you're right, Remus often gets overlooked with his responses to James and Lily's death. He's lost four of the people he loved most in the world, in some way or another. I really enjoyed how he barely mentioned Sirius, as though it was simply too painful to even spend his thoughts contemplating the betrayal.

I love how you characerized Remus as always being in the background, forced to watch and observe instead of being an active participant. I feel like he blames himself for not being more dynamic and saving his friends, and his self-hatred really comes through strong. It's heartbreaking, really, how he has been marginalized by his position and yet marginalizes himself all the same. In this story I saw the Lupin from PoA, an incredible person who isn't quite aware of it, but also a younger, shell-shocked self.

I almost would have liked to see Remus singing Peter's praises a little more, maybe being surprised that Peter has turned into a hero. I found it interesting that Peter didn't even get a funeral, just a memorial. Also, it's quite sad that Petunia and Harry weren't there. I feel as if Petunia could have been invited, but probably declined because of her wariness and forced hatred of wizards. Also, I suppose Dumbledore wouldn't have wanted Harry in public because everyone would be staring at him and he might even have been in danger. But still, it was sad! :(

Remus' thoughts regarding Harry were just lovely. I think you did a good job here of justifying why Remus never sought Harry out-he wasn't even told where he was staying! His pact to teach Harry the truth was very moving, however. I also liked the line about Petunia being the sister Lily had loved and detested, it fit very well with their relationship which is only really truly revealed in DH.

One suggestion I thought of when reading this lovely little story was that I would have liked more descriptions and/or memories. Even if they were just really minor, like... ah, I don't know, Remus remembering James' laugh, or wondering if Lily's green eyes are open or closed, or thinking about Peter's nose twitching as a rat, or Sirius slinging his arm around Remus' shoulders (random, I know). Just some physical descriptions or memories to give the story that extra level of depth. Up to you of course, but maybe something to consider adding! :D

I'm really glad I read this, it was very well written and enjoyable! I love your writing! Thank you for the swap! :)

Author's Response: Haha, don't worry about it I'm still waiting for reviews from swaps I did several months ago :P

I thought I was alone in thinking Remus would be really affected by their deaths but the response from this shows otherwise. I'm glad that you liked the lack of mention towards Sirius as I imagined that his betrayal was possibly even more painful than their deaths.

I'm really glad that you liked Remus' characterisation as that's one of the things which saddens me most about him, as she so rarely gets his chance in the limelight and it's almost as if he doesn't mind because the guilt of their deaths is still following him through no matter how many times people say it isn't his fault.

With Peter they only found his finger didn't they, so I don't think they really could have had a funeral for that :P Obviously head canon is different to everyone but I always imagined that Petunia would almost be too wracked with guilt to turn up at the funeral and obviously if she didn't go neither would Harry.

I always found it odd that Remus never did try and make contact with Harry so that's why I had to put that justification there. I'm really glad you liked it as I thought it would be a Remusy thing to do.

That's a good idea, and when I re-edit this some day I'll definitely include some. I just didn't want to draw too much emphasis on them, as he's still grieving and trying to avoid thinking of them too much in fear of bringing back bad memories.

I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for the review and the lovely compliments in it; they really made me smile ♥


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Review #14, by adluvshp The Fallen

24th May 2013:
Hey! Here for review tag.

Wow, I am glad I chose to read this story. Remus is my favourite marauder and I love to read about him.

I always felt that he'd be affected greatly by James and Lily's deaths and by the war too, and I think you portrayed his pain beautifully. Him blaming himself for it in a way was also very realistic and something I'd imagine Remus to do. The part about him thinking that the people gathered didn't know the real James and Lily was very touching too, and something that a dear friend would think in such circumstances.

I absolutely loved the ending, you truly use your descriptions so well - "he cannot find the end of his tunnel" - it was just amazing. My heart broke for Remus, the poor guy. All in all, great story!

In fact, I loved it so much, I'd love to record it. I think it will make a great podcast and if you give me the permission I'd be happy to do the honours. Please let me know in your review response or in a PM if I have the 'go ahead' to podcast this, and then I will =) Or, if you think I wouldn't be suited to podcasting this, you can definitely volunteer the story on HPPC, I won't mind. But really, such a dark and beautiful piece needs to be podcasted!

Great job!

Author's Response: Hey Aditi!

Wow, I rarely hear people say Remus is their favourite Marauder, he's my joint favourite with Sirius!

I'm so glad that you thought I portrayed his pain, as I've never had someone so close to me die, so it was mainly guessing about what he may feel. I'm glad that you liked that part, as I wasn't to sure if I was making him too bitter for a funeral.

I think that's the tragedy of Remus as he never really got to the tunnel as he carried on living in this life which never really improved until the end when Teddy's born but he dies :'(

Yeah sure go ahead, I love all of your podcasts so of course I don't mind! I'll look forward to listening to it :D

Thanks for the great review and happy podcasting!


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Review #15, by Remus The Fallen

17th May 2013:
Hey there!

Perelandra from the forums.

I love Remus-centric fics. Specially then they deal with Lily and James's death. I really like how you pointed out that he felt left out, even by Peter.

The imagery in this is great. I managed to picture everything in my head. The feeling of sadness and Remus's own feelings of detachment. Actually, Remus reminds me of someone that's there in body, watching the action but is not there mentally and in spirit. He's in his own world, mourning his friends in his own way.

It always makes me very sad/upset that everyone thought that he was the traitor. He must've lived with the guilt for a long time for not seeing Sirius's supposed guilt. You did a fantastic job at portraying emotions without making me reach for the tissue box. I think the emotion of jealousy was the best. I mean, he's jealous of Petunia the woman who would've been happy to give him Harry in a heartbeat. Never thought about it but it makes a lot of sense.

I spotted a typo:

In the line that reads "Peter isn't even getting funeral" --think you're missing an 'a' after 'getting'.

Anyway, overall this was a great one-shot. Thanks for letting me read it! I sure love me some Remus stories.

Until next time


Author's Response: Hi Rosie!

I'm really glad that you liked the imagery and that you could picture it, as I'm trying to incorporate more into my work as I tend to forget about it. Yeah I kinda had that idea of Remus not fully being there as he would be too wrapped in his grieving to notice much else.

I think that's one of things which saddens me most throughout the series as it's just so tragic. I'm glad that you liked his emotions, as I wasn't too sure about them myself. I never thought about him feeling jealously, but when I began writing it I thought I had to include Harry into it and seemed best to include jealously with it.

Thank you for pointing out the typo, I always managed to miss the odd one or two :P

Thank you for this great review, I'm so glad that you liked it!


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Review #16, by Aphoride The Fallen

16th May 2013:
Hey there! Okay, so I loved this! The mood was great right from the start - the slow, thoughtful pace of the whole thing is very much Remus and very much sombre as well - and it was so good not to let it up at all through the rest of it.

I liked the way it was kinda abstract, kinda automatic in the sense of someone staring off into space and thinking about things, while stuff is happening in the background, you know? Kinda like you're noticing it, but you're not really paying attention. (I'm sorry, that's a really rubbish explanation, but hopefully you know what I mean :P). But yeah, that sort of feeling worked so well with this because it's a funeral and because of everything and everyone Remus has lost: Lily, James, Peter, Sirius, Harry... I loved the little reference to the other Order members' funerals, as well, when you said he'd been to lots of funerals recently. It was a nice way of slipping in a mention - sometimes people forget that it wasn't just the four of them and Dumbledore ;)

I loved the way you wrote Remus. His voice was very strong and trying-not-to-be-emotional, which I think works so well with him, and you didn't go over the top with his grief or anything as well; it was just understated enough that it made it more powerful, in a way, than if it had been all loud and showy. Remus... again, I liked how you slipped in the details - references to wolves and his bite - and how you brought up his feelings of guilt and how everyone (Sirius, at least) thought he was the traitor... it was really detailed and I liked that - it suits this so well.

Also, the way you kept referring back to this idea of 'innocence' and how certain people are innocent and others aren't, etc. that was a hugely powerful metaphor and yet so understated at the same time... I loved it. It was so brilliant.

One thing I would say is that there are a few mistakes in here - a few missing spaces and typos or missing words. It might be worth just checking it over once more or whipping it through an editing system (I recommend EditMinion - if you put it into google, it should come up. It's free and all ;P), because it did jar the flow a couple of times (and there's a typo in the first paragraph, I think).

But yeah, honestly, that's it. This was really sombre and beautiful and with such lovely imagery and detailing... and Remus... yeah, I loved it :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey Aph! I'm so glad that you loved it, and found that the mood stayed throughout as I struggled a little with that.

Yay I get what you mean, and I'm glad because that's what I was aiming to do. I didn't want to focus on the funeral proceedings as I would imagine that would be the least of Remus' concern on a day like that one. You got the reference about the other funerals :D I thought it was too subtle as no one picked up on it so far! I agree that a lot of people forget that other people died too, and I wanted to weave that in.

I'm glad that you liked Remus' voice, as I agree, he's not the type to burst into tears and have a mental breakdown or whatever. He always had that quiet reserve about him. Those references were fun to through, and he always had such a guilt complex about that it wouldn't be right without them!

It was powerful? Eep thank you, when I write half this stuff I'm never sure if people will get what I'm aiming to do, but it's always lovely to hear that you did.

I always slip in a few areas, it's so annoying! I'll definitely go and use EditMinion as I've never found a good site for things like that :)

Thank you for this lovely review, it really cheered me up!


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Review #17, by MadiMalfoy The Fallen

14th May 2013:
Ravenclaw review tag! I loved this, it fits in with Remus's character perfectly! And I think you can see it in the future when he's with Harry or the other Order members that he still grieves for his friends. Perfect characterisation! :) xx

Author's Response: I'm really glad that you found it fitted his character as I was really trying to create an accurate depiction of it! I'm glad that you got the hints about his future, as I think this is a real turning point in Remus' life. Thank you for this lovely review :D


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Review #18, by Violet Gryfindor The Fallen

13th May 2013:
Oh, very nice! Though that word hardly covers the emotional impact of this story, with Remus's inner torment set in contrast to the formal ceremony taking place around him. Remus follows along with the ceremony, but he doesn't really take part in it - he's already on the margins, more like a ghost than a living being. Or to take up your own metaphor - a statue at their grave. It's a fascinating approach to both Remus and to Lily and James's death. I've never seen anything like this before, and it's wonderful to see how you were able to explore Remus's emotions and loneliness.

At this point, he feels like the last Marauder and he's so powerless. He may vow to help Harry, but that's something in a distant future, and I loved how you made him envious of Petunia. You even remember to make him comment on this envy and how extraordinary he finds this emotion - it's a perfect touch to make him so introspective, constantly thinking and re-thinking, second guessing himself because he hasn't been certain of anything for a long time. He had his friends to help him, but now he's alone, and his alienation from society returns, leaving him desolate. And you convey all of this in a subtle way, leading the reader through Remus's mind while quietly reminding us of what's going on around him. It's a very well-balanced story with a lovely flow, and while its tone is sombre, you're careful not to overdo the angst. There's a feeling of self-restraint in the language that reflects Remus's character perfectly.

Again you've written a fantastic story that gives new insight into Remus at a rarely-written of period in his history. I wish I could find more to say about it, but there's nothing to critique and you already provide an in-depth exploration of his character - to add more in a review wouldn't feel right. Amazing work! I'll be on the lookout for your next new story. ^_^

Author's Response: Aw, I feel so spoilt getting another wonderful review from you :D

I cannot express how glad I am that you thought that Remus' emotions came through. I think that was thing I was most worried about, as grief is such a complex thing to go through and I wasn't sure if I fully expressed it here. Remus always appeared to be a lonely character when we see him in the books, and I always thought it was caused by Lily and James' deaths so I'm glad that you liked it.

I find envy quite an extraodrinary emotion too. I think one someone is in a position like Remus' it's their natural inclination to feel it about people like Petunia. As she has family, she has friends and Remus doesn't have any of that, and I think that's thing which saddens me most about him.

I'm glad that the balanced worked, as it was tricky to figure out how much emphasis I should place on his thoughts and what was going on in the ceremony. I'm glad the angst wasn't ovedone, because, like you said, Remus does place a lot of self-restraint on himself and it wouldn't reflect his character to have him bursting out into floods of tears.

I find it strange that this period isn't written a lot, but I suppose the main characters are either dead or children. Wow there wasn't anything to critique? Eek that's exciting :D Thank you for another wonderful review!

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Review #19, by Gryffin_Duck The Fallen

13th May 2013:
This was so heart wrenching! As soon as I clicked on this in the queue I knew it would be super sad, but I'm so glad I clicked it because I adore Remus fics.

The effect of James & Lily's deaths on Remus is so rarely explored in FF, yet I think their deaths affected him greatly. After they died, he was essentially alone in the world (assuming his parents were dead, which I think can be a safe assumption).

I think you got his emotions spot on in this, from the anger to the sadness to the hopelessness. It sort of reminds me of a Remus fic I wrote a while back called Strings, where Remus first learns of James & Lily's deaths.

The quote you used in the summary was perfect! It fit the story and the situation wonderfully. Great one-shot! :)

Author's Response: I'm glad that heart wrenching as that was aiming for, though I'm sorry I made you feel sad!

I agree, that their deaths must have had a massive impact on him. I think that's partly why I wrote it, because there really was nothing about it, and I never read about the funeral either so I wanted to explore it.

I'm glad his emotions came through, as they were so mixed I was worried that people would get confused! I actually listened to the podcast of Strings and I really loved it. I'll definitely have to go and review it when I have find some time :D

I saw that quote and I knew it would work, so I'm glad that you liked it! Thanks for this really lovely review :D


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