Reading Reviews for The Rise of the A.W.L.
162 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Veritaserum27 The End of Term.

11th August 2015:
Hi there! I'm back for another chapter.

Wow - Rose certainly is one-minded, isn't she? She's bound and determined to catch Dora - and it seems so frustrating that she hasn't seen anything yet. I can't help but think that there are many, many different things Dora could be hiding in that trunk.

Maybe I missed this part of the story, but does James or Albus have Harry's Invisibility Cloak at school? I don't suspect them, but someone could've stolen it from James and then returned it?

Or better yet - Rose could borrow it from them and hide in her dormitory and just see what Dora is up to!

I love the Christmas Transfiguration lesson - how clever!

And I feel a bit bad for Angie - Christmas Holidays at Hogwarts seem so cold (although they were better than the Dursleys for Harry).

I feel like Rose thinks she's being really clever and cunning when it comes to spying on Dora, but she really isn't - I'm surprised she didn't get caught.

Great chapter - see you next time!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Rose is DEFINITELY single-minded.

The Invisibility Cloak was one of these things that was really explained in The Writing on the Wall. No, Albus and James don't have it. Albus borrowed it for a day or two at the end of The Writing on the Wall, but I kind of think that with Harry being an Auror, he'd have better uses for it than playing pranks or sneaking around at school.

Glad you like the Christmas Transfiguration lesson.

You'll get a bit more insight into Angie's background and why she isn't going home for Christmas in a couple of chapters' time when they return to Hogwarts after the Christmas. And at that point, things in this story will start getting more dramatic. The hexing of the memorial is only the beginning.

Thanks for reading and reviewing. I've a couple of chapters to catch up on on your story actually. I haven't forgotten.

 Report Review

Review #2, by Veritaserum27 Searching for a Key.

11th August 2015:
Hello again,

I'm back to review this awesome story because I've been remiss at reviewing in general and you've already finished this story and started posting the next one in the series. So sorry.

And because of the new BvB review blast format, this counts for the common room reviews too!

Your Rose makes me laugh so much. She's just so sure of herself all the time. She reminds me a LOT of Harry - as he got older, he was pretty sure that his hunches were right. I feel like this is a lot like that - while Rose is right to be suspicious of Dora, her over-confidence is going to lead her to overlook some obvious details.

Albus is such a sweetheart - he is so good-natured to go along with all of Rose's crazy ideas (she can be very determined and very adamant), even when he isn't too sure that she's on the right path.

Hmmm... I'm very interested in this invisible person. There are other ways of being invisible that I think Rose might be overlooking. It could've been someone using a disillusionment charm - and that would mean someone a bit older than a second year.

Great job putting little touches of Rose's personality here and there (for example, when she tries to console herself that they are still "ahead" of the professors because they are the only ones that suspect Dora has an invisibility cloak) - because for Rose, she ALSO wants to be the one to solve the case - not just find the culprit.

I found a few typos here:

"I suppose not." Shee wasn't pleased.

I think you meant to type "She."

and here:

James didnít seem to have found out anything either. Of if he had, he wasnít telling them. She was pretty sure he hadnít though.

"Or if he had..."

Haha - yes, I agree, James should at least acknowledge Albus's birthday!

Great chapter!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Thanks for pointing out those typos. They're fixed now.

And ooh, I LIKE your suggestions about other ways a person could become invisible. I think you might be the first person to consider that.

Yeah, Albus is a sweetheart. I'm finding it a bit harder to write from his point of view now I've started year three, because he is SO easygoing.

 Report Review

Review #3, by Pheonix Potioneer The Midnight Feast.

4th May 2015:
Last chapter! Permission to SQUEE! (That last part was a Dcotor Who reference.)

Nathan worries about EVERYTHING. With good reason, but he still worries a lot. Nathan and Albus are both big worriers.

Ha ha, very true that Slughorn probably didn't care much about the exams. I have some teachers that are like that.

I wonder what house Lily and Hugo will be in? I'm curious. Will you go with the traditional Gryffindor, or something else?

Of course the Ravenclaws would decide not to get into any trouble whatsoever. Smart, but it wouldn't be very fun. Though Ravenclaws are known for being smart, so that makes sense.

I never thought that Angie would be much of a troublemaker. She seems very eager for the midnight feast to be somewhere forbidden.

The reason it feels like a boarding school story is because it is a boarding school story! Hogwarts is a boarding school. I suppose Angie doesn't realize that she's in a story, since she's a fictional character, but she is!

Hmmm, despite the fact that Dora seems to hate most of the Ravenclaws, she still came to the midnight feast. I wonder why. Does she want to be friends with some of them, and she refuses to admit it?

Ravenclaw won the cup! Hooray! Hufflepuff should win next year.

I love the conclusion: saying goodbye to Professor Blackburn. Awesome.

Rise of the A.W.L. is over! Congratulations!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for this review, and all the reviews you've give me actually. I love hearing your thoughts.

Yeah, Nathan does worry a lot and that probably makes his awkwardness worse.

I wouldn't say Angie is exactly a troublemaker, but she does like a laugh and to take the odd risk.

Yeah, Dora doesn't want to be left out, even though she acts like she doesn't like or care about anybody. Interesting observation. Dora isn't exactly the world's happiest person.

I wanted to give some indication that Blackburn was beginning to recover. Of course, it's not going to happen overnight, and she'll probably always have some issues to deal with, but the fact that the school year is coming to an end and she has a few months to relax, combined with the knowledge her job is safe and knowing what happened to the Wolfsbane potion is helping her relax a little and start coming to terms with what has happened to her.

Hufflepuff might win the following year. You'll have to wait and see.

Same with the houses the younger kids are in. All will be revealed in the fullness of time.

 Report Review

Review #4, by Pheonix Potioneer New Legislation.

26th April 2015:
Teddy! I don't think we see nearly enough of Teddy. Well, I don't have much of him in my stories either, so I suppose I can't talk. But still, you should include him more, simply because i like him.

Wow, it's chapters like this that your knowledge of politics shines through. You have a good point about the whole "what to charge Fairfax with" sort of thing. Nobody really thinks about that much, well, at least i don't. It's sort of a "he did a crime, he'll get a trial, and probably go to jail" sort of thing. It's easy to forget that it's more complicated than that.

Wow, I keep forgetting that Rose is smart sometimes. She has a good point about Fairfax's whole motives thing. Unlike Harry, she doesn't stop at "the culprit is caught, hooray!" sort of thing. She evaluates everything afterwards, and thinks, unlike Harry, who seems to not like thinking. Rose would have been really handy back then. I suppose they had Hermione too, but Rose seems to think a bit more about things like that Hermione... yet, Hermione doesn't have as much of a temper as Rose does... so I suppose Hermione is a little better...

I didn't even think about the possibility of using Ministry potions! Lydia only stayed with Fairfax since she trusted him so much! Oh, that makes everything much more terrible! Poor, poor, poor Blackburn! STOP TORTURING BLACKBURN. I need to start a campaign against you, with STOP TORTURING BLACKBURN as my slogan. How about I take over the series, and Blackburn is cured of lycanthropy, wiped of her anxieties, and owns a private island in the tropics and is really rich. That sounds like a wonderful idea.

I wonder what Teddy was talking to Blackburn about. Whatever it was, it must be something that Hermione wasn't allowed to overhear. I can't help remembering the Lydia-Teddy-Victoire love triangle. Did it have to do with that?

You were right, that was a very informative chapter. And only one left!

Author's Response: Thank you so so much for this review. I've read it SO many times already. I really shouldn't be this pleased to have people yell at me, but it's nice to feel people are invested in my characters.

I knew people would react to the idea that Fairfax basically manipulated Blackburn into continuing to use his potions. She is WAY too nice for her own good sometimes, and she sort of felt it would make him feel she was blaming him and that he might be hurt or offended if she said she'd prefer use Ministry provided ones. Of course, she's feeling pretty betrayed. Poor girl.

Lydia's problems aren't going to disappear quite THAT easily, but she will gradually begin to recover. Not sure about her having a private island. That reminds me a little too much of a certain politician.

I'd love to see how you would write a sequel about Blackburn though. *grins* I'm actually writing the "missing week" from her point of view at the moment, but that's certainly no more positive.

There's no real mystery to what she and Teddy were talking about. He was just expressing concern and having a chat with her. She probably got a bit emotional, mostly from the relief and he just thought she needed a friend.

The main reason Hermione didn't remain for it was just because Lydia doesn't know her that well and she's a Head of Department in the Ministry and a war hero and I think Lydia'd be somewhat intimidated by her. Not by anything she DOES, just in the sense of, "gosh, I'm talking to a woman hotly tipped as a possible next Minister for Magic and one of the people I learnt about in History of Magic when I was at school." That, and Hermione just wanted to talk to her daughter.

And yeah, it's hard to show too much of Teddy, as he's not at Hogwarts. And he is a fairly nice, and interesting, character. I think I portray him differently from a lot of people, but I'm kind of fond of my version.

Rose is different from Harry, but the circumstances are different too. Harry was dealing with people determined to kill him, whereas Rose is dealing with more ideological conflicts, so there is more to question.

Makes it less certain that the villains will be convicted too, as what happens isn't as serious.

And of course, the books weren't from Hermione's point of view, so we didn't see so much of what she thought about things. And yeah, Rose has quite a temper. *huggles her*

Yeah, just one chapter left and I think it's mostly fairly minor stuff - just the midnight feast and the exams and all. This is sort of the last revelation chapter.

 Report Review

Review #5, by Pheonix Potioneer Ravenclaw versus Gryffindor.

26th April 2015:
Lucy does have a point that Rose seems overly-confident sometimes and Albus is not confident at all. Rose and Albus kind of equal themselves out in that respect. It makes them reasonable friends. After all, if Albus was confident like Rose, they would be butting heads and squabbling all the time.

Rose, Slughorn treats everything like a news story. You do have a point that he shouldn't, but if he isn't directly affected, that's how he treats everything.

Hey, why is Hufflepuff in last for everything? How about you swap Slytherin and Hufflepuff's positions so Hufflepuff beats Slytherin by 300 points instead? :(

Albus did an excellent job! I'm so proud of him. :) He deserves a medal and a gold star. Congratulations Ravenclaw!

Though, even after that, Albus is STILL doubting himself. Sigh. Rose really needs to donate some of her confidence.

A midnight feast? That sounds like a great idea! Bring it on!

Author's Response: Yeah, Rose and Albus go well together in one sense, but I think there are times they make each other worse, because his admiration for her makes her even more convinced she knows it all and having her to turn to makes him less likely to depend on his own judgement.

Hufflepuff isn't ALWAYS last. They came second in the House Cup in "The Writing on the Wall." It just so happened I needed to have Ravenclaw and Gryffindor fairly close and with Scorpius as Seeker, Slytherin were always going to win. Hufflepuff is still an awesome house.

The midnight feast is solely for my own amusement and because I can't help thinking Muggleborns would be sure to come up with the idea of having one.

Thanks for reading and reviewing. Really great to see you around again.

 Report Review

Review #6, by Pheonix Potioneer Nott to Blame.

25th April 2015:
Dora had a point, that everything always revolves around the Potter's. But Slughorn did come out of retirement just to teach Harry, so Albus's idea that Slughorn might be back for Lily isn't too far-fetched.

I can understand Rose's annoyance with Professor Slughorn, but after so many years of teaching, exams probably don't seem as important to him anymore. But for the most part, I agree with Rose: Slughorn should be teaching!

Nott does raise some reasonably points- why would he try to set a werewolf loose? If I didn't have Rose's view butting in, and I was just an ordinary wizard lounging at home, I probably would have believed Nott.

Nott seems to be a very good speaker, and he gives good replies. It's not a surprise to me that he is the leader of the AWL.

NOW we finally know who hexed the memorial. That's finally revealed! I've been wondering about that for a while.

Or, I wonder if Dora is the one who hexed the memorial, and Nott said that Fairfax did it to cover Dora's tracks. After all, Fairfax was already guilty of one offense, why not make him guilty of two? I imagine that Nott is protective of his daughter, but I don't know. We've never actually seen them together- maybe that will change next year?

Felicity's mother seems to be the default concerned parent. There are PLENTY of parents like that in the world, who will sue the schools for a little thing and make sure there are a million rules implemented.

Flitwick has a good point about Fairfax's motivations of hexing the statue. It's clear that Flitwick has thought about this a lot. I suppose the staff has had many discussions about it when the students aren't around. I wonder what they say? That would be fun to find out.

Great chapter! The one advantage of reviewing this so late is that I can go right off to the next chapter!

Author's Response: *grins* I'm actually writing a story from Blackburn's point of view, covering the week or so after the Wolfsbane failed, at the moment. So there will be a little bit about what the staff think in that. It's obviously before they know who the villain is, but stuff like the conversation between Blackburn, McGonagall and Hermione about whether or not it was deliberately tampered with will come up.

And yeah, Dora does have some reason to feel resentful, doesn't she? After all, it's not her fault what her grandfather did, but people are going to judge her by it and people like Slughorn treat the Potter and Weasley children as if they are heroes just because of the families they were born into. It isn't fair. But she really isn't helping herself by her reactions. Scorpius suffers from people's preconceived ideas of "Death Eater families" too. Even though his father and grandfather weren't actually prosecuted, there is a lot of suspicion of them, and I'm not sure if Draco ever fully recovered from his experiences. I'm not sure watching people being tortured, being pretty much forced into attempting murder, spending two years in constant fear of your life and realising everything you've been brought up to believe in and support is really the cause of all your problems is something you'd get over too easily.

Yes, I would imagine many parents would react like Felicity's mother. I wanted to show more of a middle ground than just "people who hate werewolves and go out of their way to be nasty about them" and "people who are completely reasonably about it and have no anxieties at all about what could happen if the Wolfsbane failed." Even Ron and Mrs. Weasley expressed some anxiety around werewolves and in both cases, it was completely irrational, so I think there would be a lot of concern, not all of it completely irrational.

Yeah, I just used one parent as an example, as it could get confusing if it was somebody different expressing concern each time. Plus, Rose would be more likely to take notice of a reference to somebody she has heard of before. The paper has been getting a lot of letters on the issue over the years, so you can assume she's not the only one expressing those views.

And yes, Nott is smart and very plausible, which really makes him more dangerous than a ranting irrational villain, because it means people are more likely to believe and support him.

Nott's protectiveness of Dora will actually come up in year four, so a little while away, but you've put your finger on something that will appear eventually.

Slughorn knows he's only back for a couple of weeks and, being Slughorn, is using the time to reconnect with his old favourites and find out all the gossip, rather than worrying too much about the exams. After all, the N.E.W.T. course is a two year one and the O.W.L. either a three year or a five year one - I'm never sure if they are tested on the first two years in the O.W.L.S. or if they are more a foundation and the course only starts properly in 3rd year - so it's not like a couple of weeks are going to make all THAT much difference. He still should be teaching though.

Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoy the final three chapters. The second last one reveals the final few details.

It's great to see you back. Hope there'll be a chapter of "The Chosen Four" soon.

 Report Review

Review #7, by Leonore The Midnight Feast.

25th March 2015:
Aww, poor Nathan. Practical potions is tough, if they can't tell the difference between one little slip-up and doing the entire thing wrong. Though of course any scale of slip-up is equally bad as it makes the potion useless/dangerous, so it's a good lesson.

They do their end-of-year exams in the exam hall? I always sort of imagine they just do them in class, at least for the first three years when it's pretty informal (years 4 and 6 might be mocks). But I guess if they have a hall free and enough staff to supervise, and they're not worried about messing up other classes, it's be reasonable to do it in the hall.

Al is a little too sensitive sometimes. I feel a bit sorry for him, but he REALLY needs to get used to being teased or he's going to be very miserable for most of his life.

Yay, midnight feast! I'm surprised they didn't fall asleep waiting - I think my sister and I used to try to sit up waiting for midnight to have midnight feasts when we shared a room, and we kept on accidentally falling asleep. Definitely at Brownie camp pretty much everyone was asleep by midnight, however hard we tried to stay awake, though that was 7-11 year olds. I guess if they're talking and sitting up, they'll be a lot less likely to doze off.

The set out the plates and poured out the packets of sweets, crisps and chocolates. Should be "They set out..."

"What about parents getting their hands on them?" Nathan asked. "Or teachers." lol, definitely a legitimate concern!

So it looks like both Rose and Nathan have topped Defence... ;) You've missed History of Magic.

"I passed everything except Transfiguration," Dora said. "I wonder why that is."

"Erm, because you never even listen to Professor Blackburn, let alone do any work," Rose said.

OK I actually have to cheer for Rose here. Dora got owned. :D

YAY RAVENCLAW WIN THE HOUSE CUP!!! CELSA SUB CONVENIANT AQUILA SAPIENTES MENTES! *still feels the need to recite that at every opportunity just because I can still remember it*

Yay happy Lydia :D And if apologising is what makes her happy, may as well let her, I guess. *huggles her*

I like this chapter. *nods*

Author's Response: I honestly don't know where they do the end of year exams. Most schools I worked in had at least some classes do them in the hall though, as it makes it harder to cheat, but I guess Hogwarts has 5 years doing non-Ministry exams, as opposed to three in a lot of schools here, so it might be different. *shrugs* That was something I was actually wondering what I should write for it.

And yeah, Al takes teasing WAY too seriously, poor kid. He'll grow up. *hugs him*

2am doesn't strike me as ridiculously late for 13 year olds to be awake. Then again, I am rather a night owl, so my perception may not be the normal one. But when I was at a wedding last summer though, the bride's little niece was up dancing until the early hours and she was 7. Not sure how late she stayed up, but it was definitely well after midnight.

Yeah, I just HAD to have SOMEBODY mention parents and teachers getting technology that could be used to spy on their kids. It was hard to figure out who should say it though, as they are such good kids.

I reckon they would mark the potions on how close they are to how they are supposed to look, smell, etc, but I think a small mistake could make a big difference, depending on what the mistake is. Nathan MAY be overreacting a little, because he is so annoyed with himself for messing up on a potion he knew well.

Yeah, the Nathan part should have been History of Magic, as you could probably have guessed. I was busy switching subjects around, trying to decide who should do best at what and obviously got confused somewhere, although that was a strange one for me to make a mistake on, as it was pretty clear what Nathan was likely to do best at.

And I thought he deserved to do well at SOMETHING.

*laughs* I MADE YOU CHEER FOR ROSE. I MADE YOU CHEER FOR ROSE. Dora did deserve that, didn't she?

THOUGHT you'd be pleased to see Lydia starting to feel a little better. Knowing her job is safe is probably quite a relief for her and I think the school year being over would help too. Even though she likes her job, she has had a REALLY tough year, and I'd say she'd be glad of the break. She could REALLY do with one.

She still has a lot to deal with, but she's definitely beginning to recover.

Glad you liked the chapter. *grins*

 Report Review

Review #8, by Veritaserum27 The Locked Trunk.

1st March 2015:
Hello - here for the swap again!

Rose is dead set on Dora being the culprit. I love her spirit and her determination, but I feel like she's either going to get herself in big trouble OR she's going to miss something (or someone) really obvious because she is so focused on Dora. There are a thousand reasons why Dora might have her trunk extra-magically locked, not the least of which is that she lives with three (or is it four) other girls that she absolutely does NOT trust. She might've suspected Rose was going to go through her things anyway, even if she isn't hiding anything and that could be why she locked it.

I like that Albus and Rose are a little intimidated by James and they have to plan out a clever way to get him to share his information. They cant just wait for him outside of Gryffindor tower after dinner or talk to him on their way out of breakfast one morning, no. They must plan to catch him in a good moment - only if his team wins the match - haha! I did think it was rather clever the way Rose played him into giving her the information. That worked really well.

Oh! I think I forgot to mention it in my last review but Fionnula reminds me a bit of Luna. She lives in her own world and isn't suspicious of others. I find her a very refreshing character in this story - where everyone (including Rose) seems to have an ulterior motive :)

Poor Albus, he's just along for the ride, isn't he. I feel like he would rather just go about his life without all of this adventure and let the teachers sort out all of this mess - he really endears himself to me.

Thanks again for doing a swap - I had a great time catching up on your story!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed catching up and thanks for the reviews.

Yeah, Rose is rather single-minded and REALLY has it in for Dora. She is definitely asking for trouble and twisting all evidence back to Dora, which makes it likely she could miss somebody or something else.

Three other girls. I started running out of personalities for the other Ravenclaws and decided I wasn't going to add another two and have them end up being personality-less, especially since it's unlikely the exact same number of people would be sorted into each house each year anyway.

I WAS thinking of Luna when I created Fionnuala - a mixture of Luna and a sort of stereotypical Celticy idea. I always need to stick in an Irish character, mostly so that I don't have to go thinking up as many English-sounding surnames.

I'm fond of Albus myself. He's my second favourite of my characters in this series, after Blackburn. He just gets dragged into things when he really just wants a quiet life. Poor kid.

 Report Review

Review #9, by Veritaserum27 Investigating Again.

1st March 2015:
Hiya - here for the review swap!

Thirteen year old Rose makes me giggle so much in this story! She is so into the mystery, sometimes she forgets her manners - or her friends. I hope that she doesn't upset Albus too much - she really needs his friendship. She reminds me a bit of Harry during his sixth year when he was absolutely certain that Draco was a death eater and no one else would believe him. He would sneak around the castle and try to find out any clues to prove his case.

Haha - I also love your version of James, here. Is he two years ahead of Rose and Albus? He definitely puts on the air of an upperclassman.

I thought it was very clever of Rose to question the portraits! I would never think of that, but of course they would see everything. The also seem to love to be noticed by the students. Great job with their personalities, by the way.

The mystery deepens - on to the next chapter!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Yeah, Rose is Ron's daughter as well as Hermione's, and sometimes it shows.

Yeah, James is two years older than Rose and Albus, mainly because I thought it added more to Harry's comment about having written to James three times a week the previous year, after James had apparently been implying Albus would look like a kid if he got too many letters, if James hadn't even been a 1st year at the time.

Glad you liked the portraits' personalities.

And oh, the mystery has only started yet. It'll get a whole lot nastier.

Thanks again for the reviews.

 Report Review

Review #10, by Veritaserum27 The Hallowe'en Feast.

1st March 2015:
Hey there! Here for the swap!

Before I start with the proper review, I'm going to gush over your characterization here. It's nearly flawless. You've managed to keep Rose as her usual righteous and suspicious self. I was thinking all along - "No Rose don't say that to Albus - he's going to worry!" and then bam - Rose has to backtrack because she knows she's worried Albus - haha! In addition, I love McGonagall - I could hear her voice warning the students about the vandalized memorial.

At the same time, I see a little (the tiniest bit) of Rose starting to be a bit reasonable here and trying not to jump to conclusions. In the end - her hatred of Dora wins out and Dora definitely doesn't do anything to alleviate that. I think Angie is right - Dora just likes to wind up everyone - Rose especially!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. You didn't have to do three of them. I just did a couple of chapters of yours, because they were quite short and then when I'd read two of the three, I figured I may as well finish. Plus I WANTED to read the last chapter.

I love writing McGonagall actually. I love her sternness and her dry humour. I have a couple of scenes later on with her that I really love - one between her and Blackburn and one when what really happened is being discussed.

And Rose does make it easy for Dora to wind her up, doesn't she?

 Report Review

Review #11, by Leonore Nott to Blame.

13th February 2015:
Hi. I've thought of enough comments in the first
few paragraphs to convince myself to start
writing a review. Especially as I don't have any
kind of excuse NOT to tonight (and I've already
missed enough chapters).

Slughorn! Well, I guess Albus has a good
explanation. Even if Dora's being rude about it,
I bet that's the reason he agreed to return

Dora's definitely back to full-on horrible. Can't
decide whether I like that Rose is unable to
answer back but that Dora has regained all her
former confidence.

Oh, so it's NOT for Lily that he's returning. It
makes sense, that he'll only be there for a few
weeks - I'd have trouble believing him returning
full-time really. All the Slug Club stuff...
definitely the same old Slughorn. You've got him
bang on with the "always a favourite student of
mine" stuff. And he is a seriously useless
teacher. *wonders if there'll be anything
important happening at this Slug Club revival

Ooh, I like the sound of them getting a link
between Fairfax and the A.W.L. I do NOT, however,
like Nott's comments. *distracts Lydia with
kitties so she doesn't read it* He's very good at
turning it all round to suit him. *glares* He'd
better get caught out soon! There's some
criticism of the A.W.L., which I approve of, but
far too much opportunity for Nott to push his

He really is right that Hogwarts needs to sort
out it's vetting procedure for teachers. THIS IS

Wow, I never thought Felicity's mother would be
non-evil. Despite the fuss about unmedicated
werewolves, at least she's attacking Nott!

Hehe, detention for Rose! :D

Ah, that motive makes sense!

Flitwick is nice. Of course he must realise just
why Rose hexed Dora! Dora deserved it, but he had
to give Rose detention, and while I like Rose
getting in trouble it would be unfair to be TOO
harsh, especially when Dora's punishing her by
crowing about it anyway.

*goes back to playing with Lydia and the puppy
and kitties in a room with no copies of the
Prophet and no nasty people*

Author's Response: Yeah, it would be pretty unrealistic for Slughorn to come out of retirement YET AGAIN. It was a crisis that brought him back in Half Blood Prince after all. But when there's probably less than two months left in the school year, it makes sense for somebody with a knowledge of what the students have been doing to cover and it gives McGonagall the summer to find somebody permanent.

Slughorn is great fun to write. You can just have him ramble on about anything, so long as it allows him mention his famous contacts or congratulate himself in some way. He's brilliant for giving stuff away too or hinting at stuff.

Nott wasn't MEANT to start making those comments and pushing his own agenda. He was just meant to insist the A.W.L. had no responsibility for what Fairfax did and indicate his responsibility for the vandalism, but then he started going on a rant when I was editing.

Felicity's mother is more of an idiot than evil. She's just one of these really overprotective women, who doesn't want her daughter exposed to anything that could possibly worry or hurt her, or cause her to challenge her mother's prejudices.

Somehow I don't see Flitwick as being overly-strict, especially not when it's Rose's first detention in nearly two years at Hogwarts. It's not as if she's a troublemaker. And he knows the situation well enough to be able to have a fair idea that there was provocation.

Besides I think he knows Rose well enough to be aware that the humiliation of GETTING a detention would be punishment in itself.

And yeah, Lydia could REALLY do with a break from the constant stress. Although she now KNOWS what caused the Wolfsbane to fail and the person who did it has been exposed, and the constant calls for her to be fired have died down, all the discussion about Fairfax and how his actions could have harmed students are a reminder of how dangerous the creature she transforms into could be and of how much people fear werewolves and also a reminder of that transformation, which is something she really needs to forget. And on top of that, she's dealing with the revelation that a colleague and somebody she considered a friend was behind something so horrible. So she is DEFINITELY still recovering. I think playing with puppies and kitties in a peaceful environment might be relaxing for her.

 Report Review

Review #12, by missatron A Council of War.

6th February 2015:
Hello, MargaretLane. It's been a while since I read this, but I'm so glad that I came back to read it. It's reminded me of how much I love reading next generation in Albus and Rose's early years at Hogwarts.

I wonder why you chose to write in Rose's point of view in the second book. I can't help but speculate and read into the fact that you haven't written in first person, as you did for The Writing on the Wall. Maybe it was something to do with the plot that made it nesacary for Rose to tell the tale. Maybe someone is hiding something. Or maybe there is no reason and I'm just guessing for nothing.

I love stories set in this era, as a lot more mystery and action seems to take place. A lot of stories are set when the characters are sixteen and seventeen, and are more fluff, humour and romance than anything. This is a lot more interesting, as we hear the tale from someone who doesn't quite know the ins and outs of the world yet. Yes, Rose is an intelligent character, but a seventeen year old Rose would know a lot more than a twelve year old Rose.

I love how you have written the Daily Prophet articles in this story. They are a lot more sophisticated and realistic than some of the Daily Prophet articles I have read on FanFiction in the past. Sometimes articles can come across slightly like a five year old child is telling it, but thankfully, you nailed it. I also love the quotations in the article and how you have portrayed the characters.

As always, this chapter is filled with stuff to keep a reader gripped. It isn't the same old stuff where the characters have plenty of days where not much happens, but instead, you lead us into a complicated plot which is tricky to solve. Already, in chapter two, the problem has been called to Rose's attention, which is actually quite fast paced. Judging by how many chapters I am yet to read, a lot will be happening in future chapters!

Well now we know what A.W.L stands for! Anti Werewolf League. Oh dear. Professor Blackburn, you have my sympathy. I was wondering what A.W.L was, so I'm glad that that was cleared up in this chapter. I have to say that you suprised me with A.W.L ! I was more expecting it to be some sort of Dark Lord's organisation. It seems like A.W.L is more newspaper based than anything, though I suspect that Professor Blackburn may become a victim of attacks.

Anyway, I really, thouroughly enjoyed reading this chapter - it's great to be back reading it! I thought the dialogue was superb, as I've always admired your dialogue. You don't have to have lots and lots of descriptions to write a good story, as you have shown us very clearly amongst many of your works. I, myself, am more of a dialogue person than description. Your descriptions are a lot better than mine.

Hopefully I shall be back to read and review this soon. I can't wait to read and find out what happens next. I'd love to see what is written in more of the Daily Prophet articles and see how A.W.L progresses.

All in all, a great read!

Author's Response: *laughs* This IS a coincidence. I was just reading the first chapter of your revised story and after reviewing, I noticed I HAD a new review and it was from you. We must have been reading each other's stories at the same time.

ONE of the reasons this story is from Rose's point of view is this very chapter. There's some stuff here that it's important readers hear. I WAS going to have Albus staying with Rose that day or something, but it seemed a bit contrived. I guess it would have made sense if Harry and Ginny couldn't get somebody to babysit and brought their kids with them, but it just seemed a little too CONVENIENT. You know, that he'd just be there to hear something important? And there's something else too that'll work better from Rose's point of view later on, so I decided to go with her point of view.

I have no interest in either reading or writing romance. Mystery, on the other hand...

And yes, you're not the first person to mention that though Rose is mature for her age and intelligent, she is still 12 years old. While she isn't based on me in any way, I guess I can draw on my own memories of being a politically aware, but utterly powerless pre-teen/young teenager. I remember a few referenda when I was around Rose's age that I REALLY wanted to vote in, because even though one vote was unlikely to change anything, at least I'd feel I was DOING something. And looking back now, I can see that while I may have understood the actual events, I often didn't understand people's motivations or I underestimated the complexity. Like the way Rose doesn't understand why the Ministry can't just ban the Daily Prophet from printing stories like that, because she doesn't have the experience to realise how much harm it did when the Ministry tried to censor the Daily Prophet in the past.

Glad you liked the articles. I found them SO difficult to write. Rita Skeeter is particularly difficult to channel.

This is the longest story I've ever written - not just the longest fanfiction, even my longest original story is shorter. It IS coming to an end now though. I'd say 3-5 more chapters, though I am useless at guessing length. I've already revealed the solution to the main mystery a couple of chapters ago though, so there can't be MUCH more.

The story does drag a bit between Halloween and Christmas, I think, then things get really dramatic in January.

And hmmm about Blackburn being attacked. I will say that's a pretty good guess.

I am REALLY bad at description. Dialogue is one of the easiest parts of writing for me.

Thank you so much for your review. Hope you get a chance to read on and that you enjoy it.

 Report Review

Review #13, by Pheonix Potioneer The Jelly Legs Jinx.

31st January 2015:
Oh, Rose. So naive. She thinks that since she knows Dora is wrong, the Ministry won't bother to hear Dora's side. It becomes obvious at moments like this that she's young. I'm not very mad at her this time- just surprised.

Ha ha, I find it amusing that Rose was angry about the article not being front page. I suppose the Ministry doesn't want to draw attention to it.

I'm surprised Rita Skeeter didn't find out the identity of the two thirteen-year-old girls (Rose and Dora). But how did she even find out that much in the first place?

For Professor Vector, I keep thinking of the Vector person on Despicable Me. I suppose I should take this professor more seriously.

I don't blame Rose for being annoyed about Dora getting away with everything and herself getting attention. I think it's because Dora knows how to be sneaky and subtle, while Rose does not.

One thing I am annoyed at Rose about is that she uses Dora's background and Dora's father as justification. I know Dora was doing everything of her own will as well, but still- it's like judging Sirius Black for being a Black. And Blackburn for being a werewolf. I agree with Rose, that Dora deserved it and such, but Rose really shouldn't have used Dora's father as justification. I would have said that Dora is capable of evil deeds (like what Dora did last year) and that all year Dora complained about Blackburn and made anti-werewolf remarks.

At least Rose isn't the stereotypical, brilliant protagonist. She is flawed.

Good chapter! And what was the scene that Leonore had you put in?

Author's Response: There's actually a hint as to how Rita knows what she does. There's a reference to a beetle around Hogwarts at one point.

She does know their identity, but by keeping it vague, she's both trying to create more concern among parents - it could be THEIR child that was targeted - and also making it look as if they spoke to her directly. By not citing the source, it makes it less likely she'll get called out on the fact she got her information rather obliquely.

Well, Rose meant it would be pretty coincidental if Fairfax just picked a student to bully into helping him and they ALSO had a father with similar views to Fairfax, but yeah, that's ignoring the fact that if Fairfax knows who she is, and there's a good chance he WOULD, or that he could find out, he might choose her, thinking there was a good chance she'd go along with what he asked or at least, that she'd be unlikely to have parents who'd make an official complaint about what he did.

And yes, Rose can be pretty unfair when it comes to Dora. She just looks for anything to criticise her for, even when it's something she has no control over. There were plenty of other things she could have said to back up the fact Dora is likely to do something to hurt Blackburn voluntarily.

Flawed people are so much more fun to write anyway. Characters who get everything right are boring, both to read and to write. You can do so much more with characters who make mistakes and mess up. Rose's obsession with certain things - like proving Dora guilty - can send her off in all kinds of wrong directions and affect her judgement.

Leonore wanted me to write a scene where Rose got caught hexing Dora and got punished for it, which was sort of overdue anyway. And then, when she mentioned it, it occurred to me it'd be a good way of revealing certain information.

Thank you so much for your review. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.

 Report Review

Review #14, by DracosGirl012 The Jelly Legs Jinx.

29th January 2015:
Was wondering when Rose would finally snap and hex Dora!! I wonder what Blackburn's feeling though. She must be feeling pretty betrayed and upset. That was a horrible thing for Fairfax to do.
Rita Skeeter's articles are SOOO... URgh!! She is such a... URgh.
I can't wait for the next chapter!! :D

Author's Response: Thank you SO much for the review. I'm glad you're still reading, and hope you're still enjoying, it.

That was the scene Leonore was insisting I write - what happened when Rose finally hexed Dora and got caught. And then, when I thought about it, I realised not only was it overdue, but a certain amount could also be revealed in the argument.

And yeah...Blackburn. The fact this is written from the point of view of one of her students makes it difficult for me to show as much of how she's feeling as I'd like to, because there's a limit to how much she's likely to reveal to 13 year olds. She's definitely feeling pretty betrayed and probably a little paranoid about how else secretly hates her or is secretly judging.

I'm considering writing something from her point of view during the events of this story.

Skeeter's articles are HARD to write. She has a very particular style and is so gushingly HORRIBLE.

Few more revelations coming in the next chapter. Hope you enjoy it.

 Report Review

Review #15, by Veritaserum27 Celebrations.

19th January 2015:
Hi there!

I know it's been entirely too long since I've left you a review, but I'm here now!

Wow! Rose certainly did have a day-long celebration for her thirteenth birthday, didn't she? It started as soon as she woke up, continued all day long and even when it looked like the party had stopped, another Weasley cousin shows up with more sweets! I was happy for her. But part of me thinks that perhaps all of this attention is one of the reasons why Dora resents Rose. She obviously doesn't have the family or, more importantly, friends that Rose does.

I love how your story is simply telling the tale of Rose's life at Hogwarts, but you manage to weave in little parts about what is going on with the A.W.L. and the prejudices that exist in the wizarding world.

Loved the part with Felicity where Rose doesn't miss a moment to tell her what's what. I don't think Rose realizes that not everyone grew up in such a progressive home and students (especially the younger ones) have come to school with their own, separate upbringings. It's almost as if Rose blames them for having a different family life!

I found one sentence that seems a bit off to me. Here:

She refrained from pointed out everybody else had managed to finish it.

I think you meant "pointing" not "pointed."

Yay! It's Halloween! I can't wait to see what happens next!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. Love to hear your opinions.

Things are beginning to happen now with that mystery about Remus's memorial. It's not a big deal compared with what will happen later, but it's the first indication something odd is happening at Hogwarts.

Things have been quiet so far, because the A.W.L. are currently just campaigning for Blackburn to be fired and so far, they've been getting some reaction that way. It's only once the media begins to lose interest, as it now appears to be, that they might have to turn to other methods.

And yes, that probably is part of Dora's resentment. I don't remember if her family background has been clarified in this - it was an important point in The Writing on the Wall- but she is related to certain people who were arrested as part of the Death Eaters, so she certainly has some resentment of the Weasleys retaining their large, loving family, while she seems them as having played a part in tearing hers apart.

And yup, Rose is smart, but she IS only thirteen and doesn't quite grasp why things that seem so obvious to her might not be as obvious to people with different upbringings. I remember as a teen being irritated by the lack of movement of certain people in Northern Ireland, as the peace process gathered pace, not stopping to think that people who had lost friends or family members might have good reason to have difficult coming around a table with people they suspected either of involvement in the killings or as turning a blind eye to the same. I think it takes maturity to understand how other people's background affects them and can make them react in ways that appear illogical and thirteen year olds often lack that maturity.

Thanks for pointing out that typo (*grins*). It's corrected now.

Thanks again for the review. I'm currently past the "revelation" chapter, but there are a LOT of loose ends to tie up, so still not sure how long this story will be in total. It is definitely COMING to an end now, so less than 50 chapters, anyway, I'd guess.

 Report Review

Review #16, by DracosGirl012 The Following Day.

5th January 2015:
Well, she WOULD deserve expulsion. Obviously Dora was working with Fairfax and had some hand in the Wolfsbane's tampering. Not to mention she has repeatedly tried to make Blackburns life harder and obviously wanted her sacked. If she did get expelled, she would definitely deserve it.
I dislike Dora very much. I can't wait to see what happens next!! :)

Author's Response: Yeah, Dora deserves to be punished, but the problem is that some stuff, like her making Blackburn's life harder, isn't exactly official knowledge, since Blackburn won't report it and McGonagall and Flitwick can't really do much about it, unless she does.

Thank you so much for the review and I'm glad to hear you're looking forward to the remainder of the story. You'll see more of the impact of what Rose overheard in the next chapter or two.

 Report Review

Review #17, by Pheonix Potioneer The Following Day.

3rd January 2015:
I really like how Rose didn't tell her classmates everything that happened. Modesty! I was sure she'd be shouting it all around the school. My dear little Rosie is growing up! *hugs her* Thank you for learning how to mature! That has got to be my favorite part of the chapter: her learning how to be quiet, for once.

Madam Pomfrey actually released Rose the next day? *gasp* Oh my goodness! I can't remember if you have her as overly strict, but I know a lot of fics that do.

Nice riddle for the Ravenclaw tower. You're good with coming up with riddles. You must be a Ravenclaw or something. ;) (That's one reason I'd never be a Ravenclaw- I'd never get through the door!)

I find it amusing that kate is concerned about OWLS so much. She's a Ravenclaw for sure.

Rose, giving speculation during testimony. *sighs* She needs to watch more crime movies in order to know how to testify correctly. YOu should put Aunt Hermione on that task.

We never did find out who hexed Remus's statue. No, I haven't forgotten that.

I'm really surprised that Dora was allowed to go to classes. I though they'd at least take her out for a day or two. Maybe McGonagall doesn't really want the students to know about what Dora did, and taking her out of classes all day would be too suspicious. Although, I don't know why McGonagall would try and protect Dora.

Hmm, what will Dora's punishment be? If they don't have proof other than Rose's testimony, will Dora be punished at all? I guess I'll have to wait until next chapter...

Author's Response: Yeah, Rose keeping quiet is a new development, isn't it? It's not entirely modesty; it's largely because she's not sure exactly how much she's supposed to divulge, but that is something she probably wouldn't have considered a year before, so yeah, she's getting a bit more sense.

Yeah, Madame Pomfrey is pretty strict, but Rose was really fine since she took her potions the night before so there isn't any real reason not to release her.

Glad you liked the riddle. They are SO hard to come up with and getting harder, as I am running out of decent ideas.

Remus's statue. Hmmm. I was going to put a strong hint about that into this chapter, but then I edited some stuff and it didn't really fit any more, so you'll have to wait a little while longer. I'm not exactly sure when or how it WILL be revealed, but it will be by the end of the story. It's minor compared with the Wolfsbane, so my characters aren't AS interested.

As regards Dora, all I'll say at the moment is that I worded the conversation between her and Fairfax VERY carefully, for particular reasons.

And yes, Rose should learn to stick to the facts when giving evidence, but Rose refraining from giving her opinion? Not very likely really.

Thank you so much for the review.

 Report Review

Review #18, by Leonore The Following Day.

1st January 2015:
Rose logic. She's a spiteful kid, you have to admit. She's being offered a chance to skip class but she wants to go in the hope of seeing Dora being expelled! (Ignoring the fact that come on, McGonagall's hardly likely to make it a big public spectacle if she DOES expel Dora!)

Aw, Twinkle! The house-elf is now joining the ranks of my favourite characters, alongside Lydia, Fionnuala, and Angie. (DON'T ARGUE WITH LEO-LOGIC!)

Good riddle.


Poor, poor Lydia. *scoops her up in a massive hug and runs away with her* I TOLD you to leave her alone. And obviously people who don't know what happened are going to ask questions.

Very interested in what's happened to Dora. Whatever McGonagall's said must have had an effect on her - but then McGonagall IS brilliant, and she'd have a perfect way of dealing with Dora.

You've written "She couldn't help grinned."

"It's I should be asking you that, Rose." sounds weird to me. "It's me who should be asking you that, Rose." or "I should be the one asking you that, Rose.", maybe. Is this another of our English/Irish English things?

"But it was also pretty exciting." Yeah, that's the right thing to say to Lydia. JUST like Rose to feel that.

Poor Lydia. That's quite a betrayal. *huggles her again* I TOLD you to play nicely with her and you didn't, so you're not getting another chance! Lydia's confiscated. Permanently. She's going to live in a fairy palace with nice people and be a fluffy werepuppy instead of a werewolf. *nods*

Flint and co. aren't going to give Lydia a hard time because she's not actually in the story any more, I took her out. *nods again*

That's good logic, Albus. If Rose isn't shoving her opinions/theories down everyone's throats, that's suspicious.

HOW DID YOU GET LYDIA BACK? *rescues and huggles her again*

The Daily Prophet had better not stir things up again! *glares*

"Oh, are you teaching us now?" probably wants a question mark.

"I'm sure you can find some way of keeping yourselves occupied." Who on earth thinks THAT'S a sensible thing to say to a class? He's lucky the class in question are unbelievably studious.

So THIS is Madame Ogden. Yes, Rose has a good point about the constant reassurances only making her more nervous. But naughty Rose, lying there! Thought she was going to play a prank indeed... but OK, it saves some explanation as to why she was so suspicious of Dora otherwise.

I like sarcastic Rose. Yes, I said I actually like Rose. At least briefly. She should be sarcastic more often.

That last sentence makes me doubt whether Dora really will receive her comeuppance. Hmm...

Author's Response: Well, to be fair, it's not JUST because she wants to know if Dora's expelled. She just wants to know the outcome of everything that happened. Can you really imagine Rose being happy to be left in the dark?

Yeah, Twinkle's pretty cool. She was just meant to give a message. All that stuff about being a bad elf was all her own.

And you might get more hints about Dora later on, but like you suggested above, a lot of it isn't going to be announced publicly.

Yeah, poor Lydia. And worst of all, it's naturally going to set her off wondering who else might be secretly judging her or just pretending to be her friend. Particularly after her parents' reaction.

I think she needs some hugging and reassurance right now.

Yeah, spoil her a bit there until I need her again. She deserves it.

I KNEW you'd get mad at Rose for saying that eavesdropping on Fairfax was exciting. Yeah, not exactly one of the wisest things to say, but she's still pretty caught up in the whole thing.

*laughs at Flint not being mean to her because she's been randomly abducted* That's PURE Leo-logic. And it would be pretty weird if she just randomly disappeared from Hogwarts, especially after a class she only turned up midway through.

I'm surprised you didn't equate her absence with your abduction of her.

I KNEW you'd like Albus's logic there. Well, actually, I kind of assumed you'd like him surprising her by figuring something out without her prompting.

I've corrected the mistakes and actually, I suspect that line sounding awkward may be partly Irish-English and partly my just not being able to get it sounding right. But he does have a point. If she didn't know what happened, she would definitely have either been airing her opinions or trying to think up ways to figure out what had happened.

You'll find out the Daily Prophet's reaction, or lack of, in the next chapter.

So lying is naughty, but cheeking strange adults is a positive attribute...all right. And if she says she was already suspicious of Dora, they'd probably figure out she and Dora don't get on and might think that'd give her a reason to make it up.

 Report Review

Review #19, by Pheonix Potioneer Caught Out.

16th December 2014:
It was Fairfax! It was Fairfax! I was thinking of students, so it never occurred to me that teachers could be up to no good as well! It was Fairfax! Once again, you have tricked me! I suppose that makes you a good writer, if I wasn't able to guess correctly. But I could have guessed this one... it's so obvious!

Wow, Rose's fever has really unfortunate timing. I hate it when that happens. I hardly ever get sick, but last year I got sick and had to miss a trip to Atlanta- with no refunds. I was so mad at myself for getting a 102 (fahrenheit) fever.

Was Rose's fever a coincidence? Did someone purposely make her sick, perhaps? Interesting.

FINALLY there's a story that recognizes the easiness of the pensieve! It's annoying when I read a Harry Potter fanfiction, and the main character doesn't know how to prove they are telling the truth, and they don't even think about the pensieve. If there was an explanation of why they can't use one, I'd be satisfied with that, but most people don't even acknowledge it... So congratulations to you!

I presume Fairfax will be leaving at the end of this year. This was Fairfax's first year, wasn't it? Maybe there's a curse on the Potions position like there was for the DADA position for many years...

I wonder how Blackburn will react. It will certainly rattle her. The person who is partially responsible for her health was conspiring against her all year... that would scare anyone. Poor, poor Blackburn. Do you have to torture her any more?

I wonder why Fairfax needs Dora. Any particular reason, or just because Dora is a student? Curious.

As to regards for the last review- Yes, I did mean Fairfax when I typed Fawley. Professor Fawley is a character in mine, who is also the Potions Master. I doesn't help that their names are similar.

It looks like this is nearing the end of the story, about. Seems like it, anyway. How many chapters are left?

Great twist!

Author's Response: I actually went back and forth between wondering if it was too obvious - new teacher, person with easiest access to potion, a lot of stuff simply being taken at his word - and wondering if it was too obscure - very few clues of the type I included in the last story. There were some things like the fact that that whole thing about him leaving the door unlocked and somebody slipping in was, as you pretty much pointed out reviewing the last chapter, VERY hit and miss, and really more likely to fail than succeed. And the fact NOBODY saw ANY indication of somebody approaching the office. And the whole invisibility deal earlier. Of course, somebody COULD have used Instant Invisibility Powder or an Invisibility Cloak, but it was also possible it's just a fully qualified and very competent witch or wizard who can make themselves invisible.

Rose's illness was just a plot device to a) have her awake when nobody else was, b) give her away to Fairfax, c) give him an excuse for trying to get her away from McGongall and d) give McGonagall a reason to doubt his version of events, as if Rose really had been dueling Dora and was lying to get out of trouble, why not just say she'd felt sick and was going to the Hospital Wing and Dora followed her and attacked her. It would be a much more convincing version and less likely to get her into trouble.

*laughs* I was debating whether or not to use the pensieve, since they rarely seem to in canon, even when it might be helpful, but it seemed like the best way to prove things.

The next chapter will give some information both about what happens to Fairfax AND how Blackburn reacts. Yeah, it's bound to come as a bit of a shock to her.

Yes, Dora's involvement... The question as to how involved she is remains up in the air, doesn't it? There will be a little more about that.

That's kind of funny actually. I hadn't realised until your last review that we both had Potions Masters whose names began with "Fa". Yeah, it's Fairfax's first year, but before that, Slughorn was in the position for ages, so I'd wait and see what happens to the Potions teacher in the next story before making any assumptions.

I honestly don't know how many chapters are left. It's definitely coming towards the end, but not as close as the revelation of the villain might imply. I'd guess about another five chapters. There are still more details to come out and the revelation will have some impacts.

Thank you so much for the review. It's an awesome one.

 Report Review

Review #20, by Pheonix Potioneer The Clock Strikes One.

11th December 2014:
"The Clock Strikes One". Interesting title.

It's taking all my self-will to not click "next chapter". I really want to know what happens next, but I have to theorize first!

All possibilities:
Dora is headed "towards" the dungeons- but she could be going somewhere else first. On the same level of the dungeons is the Slytherin Common room, the Hufflepuff Common Room, and the kitchens. I don't think Rose knows where any of those are, but Dora might. So Dora could be headed any of those places, although it is unlikely.

Seeming how Dora left in the middle of the night wearing a hood, I strongly doubt she doesn't have malicious purposes.

I can't help remember Abric (Is that his first name?) Fletcher stealing potion ingredients. Dora could be behind that too. It's just too much of a coincidence that both scenarios had to do with Potions. Abric and Dora could have both been stealing ingredients, and only Abric got caught. Or Abric could be mostly innocent and working under Dora's orders... Dora didn't get sick. I have a feeling Dora and Abric both are tied into this somehow. Abric is the type of kid who would take a bribe, and I'm sure Dora knows that.

I still kind of like my previous idea of Dora knocking an ingredient into the Wolfsbane Potion by mistake if she was stealing things for a different purpose.

Then, there is of course the obvious solution that Dora is purposely tampering with the Wolfsbane. As to why she's tampering with it now- Fawley wouldn't be as suspicious if she was messing with it serveral weeks before the full moon.

Now, I have a few questions. How exactly is Dora tampering with the potion? If she just threw a random ingredient in, the potion would change color or texture or something. Fawley or Blackburn should have noticed. So if Dora is the tamperer, then she must be using an ingredient that doesn't change the color, the texture, the odor, or the taste. Hmmm.

I read this chapter last night right before I went to bed, so it incorporated itself into my dreams a little... I dreamed Rose was following Dora, and then Dora walked into a sunny room and Rose found out that Dora was visiting her father who was telling her stories... And Rose and Dora became friends. I don't think that will happen, but it made me realize how much I want Dora to change. Over the course of the book I started looking underneath the bitter surface of Dora, and I realized that she's just a lonely, little girl who envies Rose and her family. Dora isn't evil, and she's young enough that she can change. I hope she changes.

Very interesting chapter! I think we're nearing the climax... *bounces excitedly*

Author's Response: You've probably already read or skimmed the next chapter, which makes some of what I'm going to say here pretty pointless, but I'm going to say it anyway. You've some good theories.

I was WONDERING if people'd consider all the places Dora could be going. Of course ROSE assumes she's heading to tamper with the potion, but I've deliberately ended the chapter at a point where that may or may not be true.

Yeah, Abric Fletcher and YES, I bet he COULD be bribed. I don't think he'd necessarily take part in something REALLY harmful, but he might well be willing to just not ask too many questions and say get Dora, or somebody else, the ingredients they want without worrying what they might use them for.

And I LOVE the theory Dora (or somebody else) might have been up to something completely different and Blackburn might just have been effected mistakenly. I think that would be the best option from Blackburn's point of view, because if somebody was targeting her deliberately, it'd make her feel even more like people hate her and are out to get her and if Fairfax just made a mistake, she'd be constantly worrying that if a potioneer who got one of the highest grades even in his Potions N.E.W.T. could make a mistake, then anybody could and that the potion might fail again. Whereas if it were a combination of things - Fairfax forgetting to lock his office or stores, a student just looking to steal something that day, them knocking something accidentally and then being afraid to own up, well, it both means nobody really wanted to hurt her AND that it's pretty unlikely to happen again, as it would be unlikely the whole series of events would be repeated.

By the way, you've called Fairfax "Fawley" once or twice. Fawley's one of the teachers in your story, isn't he? I've nearly typed Blackburn a couple of times when typing something else that begins with the first few letters. My fingers just tend to complete "Black" with "burn", so if I try to type something like "Blackrock", it often goes a little wrong.

Fairfax DID claim to have seen something that COULD have been sugar, which makes Wolfsbane useless, but he wasn't sure, and he apparently thought nothing of it at the time and only thought of it afterwards, so they can't put TOO much store on that, as sometimes if you think back on something, trying to think did you see anything odd, you'll start thinking maybe you did see something. Blackburn said she didn't see anything, but she was so distraught afterwards that it's doubtful she'd have remembered anyway.

And I can't BELIEVE you were dreaming about my characters. That is so, so awesome.

Actually, there's something in there that could be considered a little prophetic. For The Pawn in the Game, not this story.

And yeah, kids don't behave like Dora does if they're really happy. She's been brought up to believe Harry Potter and his friends ruined her family's lives and she believes it and she resents the fact that she's lost out on benefiting from being a member of one of wizarding Britain's most powerful families because of something that happened before she was born. If people knew she was Notts' granddaughter, she'd probably face some of the suspicion Scorpius does, which really isn't fair, as they can hardly help what their grandparents did.

Leonore and I are talking about writing a kind of just-for-fun story/short story collection, where Callaghan (the really nice Healer guy from our Irish Ministry story) acts as counsellor to various characters from our stories. I'm working on a conversation between him and Blackburn and I'm kind of tempted to write a piece where McGonagall insists Dora see him, after she gets caught doing something like say the vandalism and all in 1st year and he sort of tries to make her see that she's reacting pretty irrationally and only making things more difficult for herself. And also that some of the views her father and others have taught her aren't the only way to look at the world.

 Report Review

Review #21, by Pheonix Potioneer Confidences.

10th December 2014:
The Weasley family is a near-perfect family. So is mine, as a matter of fact. Myself and the Weasleys are really lucky.

The chocolate dragon thing is so cool! I love it.

I'm glad the Victoire/Teddy/Blackburn thing is worked out. Hooray! I do hope Blackburn doesn't get her heart broken though... *worries*

I love Rose's and Angie's little interaction. I was able to read Angie's mind pretty well... hooray! It does make me thankful that my family is wonderful- Angie's right, we do actually want to be there. My cousins are awesome, and so are my aunt and uncles.

I'm glad Rose managed to convince Angie to play Quidditch.

One thing I like about chapters like this as that you make us care about the characters, like Angie and Victoire. So later, if something bad happens (Which I hope doesn't happen!) we'll be much more emotional about it.

Hmmm... Wolfsbane. Let's see... there is, of course, the possibility that Fairfax simply made a mistake. Mistakes happen. But there's also a high chance that someone tampered with it. It's assumed that the door was unlocked for some reason- but how did the tamperer know it would be unlocked? Did they unlock the door somehow? And how? I wonder if the doors are only locked to magical methods, and if you can pick it. That could be a possibility. I don't get why the only did something that one month. Perhaps they saw an opportunity, and seized it while it lasted? My brain is wrapped around in possibilities.

As for who tampered with the potion... Dora is one possibility, but for some reason I don't think it's her. The Slytherins who hexed Remus's statue is also a possibility. And then other students who dislike Blackburn- which I'm sure is plenty, since her teaching hasn't been as well this year. I'm kind of stumped.

There's also a possibility that students snuck ( into the stores for something else, and accidentally knocked an ingredient into the potion or something, and were too embarrassed or scared to say anything. Fairfax is a little intimidating, even if they weren't meant to be back there in the first place.

Well, luckily the next chapter is up, so I will read on!

Author's Response: Glad you have a great family. *grins*

And yup, that's the whole Victoire/Teddy/Blackburn thing sorted. That's about as much as will be said about it. I think Blackburn knows the score, even if she might prefer if things were different and anyway, she has rather more serious problems at the moment.

I'm glad you like Angie and Victoire. Funnily enough, they are two characters that seem determined to carve out a bigger part for themselves in this series than they were meant to have, Angie in particular. But the more I write of Victoire, the more I like her, particularly when she says things like that she feels sorry for Blackburn.

I LOVE all your theories. I particularly like the way you question how the villain, if there is one, could be sure the office would be left unlocked. The current theory among a lot of the characters is that somebody created a fuss in the corridors, Fairfax went out to investigate and may not have had a chance to lock his door behind him. Though he said he THOUGHT he DID lock it. So yeah, not exactly a foolproof plan, if that IS how it was done. You're right. It's distinctly possible that it might have been done differently. Don't take anything for granted here.

And yeah, I'm sure some students are a bit irritated with Blackburn's absences and strange behaviour on occasions. I'm not sure traumatising her further by causing the Wolfsbane to fail would be the best way of dealing with that, but then teenagers don't always think things through.

And I LOVE your final theory that it was done by accident and the person hasn't owned up because they are scared of getting into trouble. I can totally imagine a teenager being afraid to own up to breaking rules, especially afterwards, when the consequences were so serious.

Thank you so much for reviewing. Hope you like the reveal.

 Report Review

Review #22, by Leonore The Clock Strikes One.

6th December 2014:
Yay, Angie's happy!

Granny and Grandad Granger are lovely, it makes me feel almost sorry for what I did to them in Rainfall. Rose's option choices are unsusprising.

This line: Angie's face lit up. "Thank you so much for including me, Mrs. Granger." - *huggles Angie* It's kind of sad that she's so surprised to be included, but it really makes her day.

Haha, Hugo's indignation at the idea of Rose getting a boyfriend! Somehow I doubt Rose is going to be getting a boyfriend in the near future, because then you'd have to write romance.

Poor Hugo. It's funny, the idea of him not being in the same year as Lily - I always assumed he was, from the epilogue, but it probably wasn't explicitly stated (I obviously don't have HP books here to figure out where I got that idea from).

This bit struck me as slightly odd, like it ought to be one or the other. Unless the repitition is for effect or something:

"At breakfast the following morning, it became clear not all her classmates felt as she did.

At breakfast the following morning it became clear that not all of her classmates were as pleased as she was to be back at school."

Well this just sums up Albus perfectly: "...and Albus just looked worried." Poor Al. I hope he gets that snitch and beats his brother.

Rose doesn't seem well at all. Not sure what's wrong with her but we're probably going to find out soon. (If she has Spattergroit... :P )

MAYBE Dora's feeling equally ill and is going to find something to help her sleep. Or maybe she's been doing something to make Rose ill.

This sentence seems kind of awkward. Maybe: "In the common room, a candle was alight," or "A candle was lighting the common room" or something (this might be Irish/English differences, I don't know). And this doesn't really want the comma: "its light hurting her eyes after the darkness of the dormitory."

Rose definitely doesn't seem well at all.

I WANT TO FIND OUT WHAT DORA'S UP TO TOO. And I can't think of any more theories at the moment, but I'll let you know if I come up with one.

Author's Response: Angie's fairly easily made happy actually, probably because she's learnt not to expect much. It's sad in one way, but it also means she's pretty resilient. She doesn't stay down long.

To be honest, I think she needs practical help more than emotional help. Mostly, she just deserves to have some of the opportunities other kids take for granted.

I love writing the difference between the Grangers and the Weasleys, with the Weasleys being such a big, crazy, tight-knit clan and the Grangers quieter and more well, academic, I suppose for want of a better word, but both adoring their grandchildren and spoiling them in their different ways - Molly fussing over them and feeding them up, Arthur taking them into the Muggle world and sharing his hobbies with them and the Grangers giving them advice on school and stuff.

As far as I know, all it said in the epilogue was that Hugo and Lily were discussing what houses they'd be in when they eventually got to go to Hogwarts, which could imply it was the same year, but wouldn't necessarily HAVE to. I've a couple of reasons for splitting them up - partly so I can focus more on each of them at a time and partly just because it struck me as a bit of a coincidence if both of Ron and Hermione's kids were in the same year as one of Harry's. Of course, it's a bit of a coincidence anyway, both of their children being within born within a couple of months of one of Harry's, but still. I suspect they are meant to be in the same year, but since I don't THINK it was said directly, it's one of the things I chose to play around with. The wiki just says Hugo was born after August 2006.

Yeah, that repetition is called "forgetting to delete the rejected sentence when editing." I changed that sentence so many times; it just kept sounding slightly wrong, probably because I was after skipping (Irish-speak alert; I guess ye'd say "had skipped") over a good chunk of time, so I must have forgotten to delete one of the rejected version or copy and pasted too much.

Hmm, it would be rather a coincidence if both of our stories had Rose ill at the end. Though of course, in yours, she got sick in her first year (ye don't use "sick" like that either, do ye? I try to use "ill" anyway, because I'm more sure of it. I don't think I could bring myself to use "poorly") whereas IF she IS sick here, it's her second.

I was wondering if you'd raise the possibility of Spattergroit. *laughs* Although that can last months, I guess it's not impossible, as Year 3 will be from Albus's point of view. I haven't decided whose point of view to write Year 4 from, but at the very least, she'd have 16 months to recover.

And of course, if she WERE ill for a long time, it would mean Albus would have to stand on his own two feet, which could be interesting.

I would torment you some more with suggestions about Rose being ill, but since you don't like her, you probably won't care.

Wonder what I'd have to do to her to get her your sympathy.

Of course, she COULD just be tired. It is pretty late and she hasn't slept and the teachers have been piling on the work as the end of year exams are coming.

And yes, if Dora was feeling ill, she might well get up to go to the hospital wing or something. Heading for the dungeons seems less likely, unless she wanted to ask Fairfax for a potion, but what are the chances he'd be in his office at 1am. She could be planning to raid the potions stores though, I suppose, and drive him crazy again. *laughs*

Yeah, that sentence was a bit awkward, so I changed it to "a candle was alight".

I'd love to hear any theories you have.

A fair amount will be revealed in the next chapter - what Dora is doing, if there is anything wrong with Rose (well, I guess it's fairly obvious another chapter should give some indications as regards that) and what happened to the Wolfsbane. Of course, the first and third could go together. Or they might not. I guess the second could be related too, but it's kinda less likely to be.

 Report Review

Review #23, by Leonore Confidences.

5th December 2014:
Aww, Rose is so GROWN UP! Hugo's such a lovely normal little boy. Poor Angie - she's missing her siblings - maybe wishing her siblings could be normal and happy like Hugo? And the moment she gets excited about a topic of conversation, Rose changes the subject and ignores her!

Mmm, they get good breakfasts, at least on Easter morning! *is jealous*

Aw, Ron's being perfectly reasonable. Hermione just likes arguing with him, I guess.

As Hermione's English, you probably want English grammar here. " be allowed to start his Easter egg."

*huggles Hugo* He's so normal and excited and keeps the conversation from getting too deep.

Aww, Charlie actually WARNS them about the flames? I'd have expected him to not tell them to make it a surprise - a surprise which is hilarious for everyone else.

Good, Teddy doesn't fancy Lydia! Not concerned about this "she fancies him" thing. But I've already told you my views on this whole situation! Victoire's just giving her opinions/beliefs, and while they make sense it's hardly evidence of what's going to happen.

No Albus does not need to keep an eye on Angie all the time! Angie is perfectly capable of looking after herself in the Burrow.

Rose, tactful? If only. I can think of people Angie would rather have this conversation with.

Here: "What did you mean, so?" The "so" on the end is an Irish thing and, well, Rose isn't Irish.

Poor Angie *huggles her*. Rose is definitely not the best person for her to have this conversation with. I hate how casually Angie says things like "she'd probably spend the money in the pub...". Poor kid.

Um, Rose, Angie said she needed a break. That includes a break from you!

Yay, Angie's having a nice Easter for once! Everything's so normal (apart from Rose's deep conversations with people) and nice, and Hugo's bouncing around being a normal kid. It's nice seeing Hugo like that, without all the problems my Hugo has.

*bounces impatiently* I want to know who tampered with the Wolfsbane! Because as you know, I don't really have a clue.

Author's Response: Yeah, I don't think it's been mentioned yet, but Angie has a brother Hugo's age and it has definitely been mentioned that she has a little sister, who is probably around 6 - I've lost track, but I have her age in my notes. So yeah, she's probably wishing they had as much to be excited about on Easter morning as Hugo has. And she's probably worried about how they are spending the Easter holidays and who is looking after them and stuff.

I see the Ron/Hermione argument here as being part of an ongoing thing. Can't you see Ron regularly forgetting when it's his turn to cook, either accidentally OR accidentally-on-purpose? And Hermione constantly nagging him about how unfair it is that she's made dinner five times this week and he's only done it twice? I don't really see either Ron OR Hermione as the type to be too enthusiastic about housework, though Hermione'd DO it because she's something of a perfectionist. And she'd be irritated when Ron doesn't pull his weight. She does seem to secretly enjoy nagging him though.

Dialogue de-Irishised. I might get a chance to get you back when you start writing people like Callaghan.

And yeah, Hugo is a normal ten year old boy in this. Actually both Rose and Hugo are pretty happy - so far. As are James, Albus and Lily - again so far. Apart from Albus's regular worries, but they are relatively minor.

And yeah, Charlie warns them. George wouldn't, but Charlie does.

That's as much as you are going to get about Lydia possibly fancying Teddy, so you can interpret it pretty much as you will. I think it's open to debate whether even she really knows the answer to that one, as she probably wouldn't be too inclined to admit it to herself if she did fancy him, since he has a girlfriend. I think she's pretty likely to get a crush on any guy around her age who is nice to her anyway, since she's a little low on self-esteem and it probably means a lot to her to think somebody is concerned for her.

To be fair, Rose just wants to make sure Angie isn't left out, since she doesn't really know anybody there other than Rose and Albus. And kind of Hugo, but a ten year old probably isn't the greatest company a 13 year old could have. I don't think Angie'd mind, actually, but Rose is sort of the "younger siblings are so annoying and should go away" type, so she wouldn't think of him as being much company for Angie.

Actually, although they'd both probably hate this comparison, Rose is kind of like James in that way - they both, in different ways - sort of do the "I'm WAY too mature for what the younger kids are doing." Whereas Albus doesn't care and is like, "oh, of course, Lily, Hugo and Molly are welcome to join us."

Yeah, Angie refers to stuff like that casually, because it's pretty normal to her. Poor kid. She's pretty resilient though. I mean, yeah, stuff gets to her occasionally and she does feel a bit left out when the other kids are making plans for their holidays and stuff, but look at her in that Transfiguration class where they were turning balloons into footballs or whatever. She's perfectly capable of enjoying herself a lot of the time.

I am REALLY looking forward both to seeing what you make of certain things in the next chapter and how you respond to the reveal. And even more so to something that won't be revealed until somewhat later, when you will probably be appalled at somebody.

Thank you SO much for reviewing.

 Report Review

Review #24, by Pheonix Potioneer King's Cross Station.

30th November 2014:
Why would anyone pretend to be drunk? To act like they're cool, older students or something? *Shakes head disapprovingly*

Albus has a point: Lily probably will be a Gryffindor. She seems the Gryffindor type to me. At least he has Rose in Ravenclaw as well.

Does Fionnuala have any friends? It just occurred to me. She seems happy enough, but still...

Wow, Hugo seems very annoying. I don't envy Rose on the brother aspect. *laughs*

I wonder what Angie is thinking during the car ride home. Probably that Rose is lucky to have a good family. I'd love to know what goes on in Angie's head. Maybe you should write a one-shot about it sometime. *hint hint, nudge nudge*

The way Angie is acting on the train before the Easter holidays reminds me a lot of scene with Albus and David in the second book. I can't help but see parallels between Rose and Angie and Albus and David.

Yes, Arithmancy and Ancient Runes sounds difficult, but extremely interesting. You just have to decide if you want to go the "interesting but hard" route or the "boring but easy" route.

Near the end of the chapter, when Rose is speaking she says "course" with a space between the "c" and the "o".

Great chapter! Love the stuff with Angie. :)

Author's Response: Yeah, basically to act cool and it's possible they might sort of have convinced themselves half a glass of alcohol would totally get you drunk. They're fairly young, after all, and probably haven't drunk alcohol before.

I like hearing what houses people think characters will end up in. Lily in Gryffindor, eh? Well, all will be revealed soon enough. I've no idea how many chapters are left in this story, but there can't be THAT many more. And then Lily starts Hogwarts in the next one.

And no, Fionnuala's sort of off in her own little world. She gets on well enough with most of her classmates, but she hasn't any really close friends. I don't think she cares all that much though.

You'll find out a little more about what Angie is thinking in the next chapter. You've it pretty accurately figured out though. Poor Angie.

I was considering writing a one-shot about Angie and Blackburn's interaction after Angie faced the Boggart. I still might, sometime.

Oooh, I'm now intrigued as to what is going to happen between Albus and David. It sounds like there might be a mystery about David, like there was about Angie.

And there are a few coincidental similarities between our two stories. I guess it's not THAT surprising, as we are both writing next generation mysteries, but it's still amusing sometimes.

Thanks for pointing out the typo. I've fixed that now.

Of course Rose is going to go the difficult but extremely interesting route. The others might be more questionable.

Thanks again for the reviews. They're really appreciated.

 Report Review

Review #25, by Pheonix Potioneer Ravenclaw versus Hufflepuff.

30th November 2014:
Yes! Albus caught the snitch! Of course, I'm not pleased about
Hufflepuff losing, but I'm pleased about Albus winning, if that
makes sense. I find it amusing that after he wins, he is still
worrying. Lighten up Albus! There's room for character
development, I must say. By the seventh book, I expect Rose to be
more considerate towards people with different opinions and not as
bossy, and Albus to be more confident and less of a worrier. *Looks
sternly over a pair of glasses*

Angie sounded slightly irritated! *gasp* But... but... but Angie is a
little angel! I love Angie. I suppose I can forgive her.

Well, I remember at school I never remembered when the football
games were... and then when people asked me if I was going, I'd be
like "Oh, is that today?". I totally sympathize with Fionnuala. (Her
name is really hard to spell.)

Well, I hope half of Ravenclaw doesn't have a hangover. I'm
surprised the prefects didn't turn them in. Isn't there at least one
stickler for rules?

Author's Response: I suppose I should have guessed you'd be sorry to see Hufflepuff beaten, but yeah, Albus needs a win, even if he still remains nervous afterwards.

Yes, Albus really needs to gain some confidence and Rose needs to realise she's not always right. I actually considered having Rose abducted in a later story so Albus would have to stand on his own two feet and solve things himself, but I don't think it is going to happen.

And hey, even Angie can get irritated sometimes. Nobody's perfect.

Hmm, the whole drinking thing might be a cultural difference. I get the impression underage drinking is taken WAY more seriously in America than here in Ireland. Even most of the really well-behaviour, straight A typed, kids who would have worried about being late to class or only doing one hour's study after their homework when they'd planned on doing two, in my year, were drinking by the age of 15 or 16. Generally, if people didn't drink at 16, it was because they'd made a decision not to for whatever reason, and didn't drink as adults either. Not that people'd have drunk at school, but Hogwarts students don't have much time away from school.

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>