7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LittleLionGirl The Meeting

18th July 2013:
Wow. This was another impressive chapter I have say. I can't really believe James would act the way he did but it is understandable. I cant wait to see what Vic's next scheme is!
XOXOXO,
LLG

Author's Response: Yeah, I worried that maybe it was an overreaction but think he would blame it on stress of the new job and wanting it to be perfect.
I'm working on another story at the moment but definitely intend to finish this some day!


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Review #2, by LittleLionGirl The Plan

18th July 2013:
Well. That ending was unexpected but I like it. Vic sabotaging her own cousin... We'll just have to see how this works out...
XOXOXOXOX,
LLG

Author's Response: Yeah, I think Victoire's character in this is evil and she's let jealousy take over everything else, including her relationships with teddy and her family!

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Review #3, by LittleLionGirl The Decline

18th July 2013:
Oh wow. I the start of this. Everyone is always convinced Victoire's life is perfect but I am happy to see that underneath it isn't. Poor girl with James getting the job. That has got to hurt :/ Cant wait to see what is next!

Author's Response: I think the beauty of next-gen is that it gives us the freedom to create our own personalities for te characters. I've read a lot where Victoire is pretty perfect and nice to everyone so decided to do something a little different with her :) Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #4, by KiwiOliver The Decline

28th June 2013:
Review swap here :)
Before I start I just want to mention that once I'd finished reading the chapter, I instinctively clicked on the next one because I wanted to know what happened next :)
I really liked the chapter, it was a refreshing and realistic portrayal of Victoire. Not cheesy or over the top, real.
I liked the argument she had with Teddy, it seemed like something that could happen and his reaction made me think he was just like his father :)
There was a part here:
'Victoire would offer them get congratulations whilst inwardly cursing them and imagining them being jinxed.'
It could just be me but it doesn't read right, not that it's a big issue, I just thought I'd point it out if you ever wanted to revisit this chapter.
Overall I liked the progression and plot, it's one that a lot of people deal with everyday so it's realistic and not over the top. (Which earns big points in my book.)
I'm defiantly going to read the rest and I'll probably review it all too, because I really like this!
Just before I go I want to add that I like what you've done with James, I think that it's nice to see him in a job that isn't a Quidditch star or Dark Wizard Hunter.
Hope you found this review helpful.
KO

Author's Response: I'm really glad you wanted to move on to the next chapter, that's always a good sign!

This is my first attempt at a next gen, I tried not to portray Victoire the way she was in the others I've read, I think the best thing about next gen is that we don't know any of their personalities so it gives a great freedom when writing.

I agree with you about that line, it definitely needs adjusting- thanks for pointing it out :)

I really appreciate the comments about the characters and their personalities, it's one of the things I worry most about when writing!

Thanks again for the lovely review and the swap. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story so far :)


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Review #5, by AlexFan The Plan

23rd June 2013:
Seems like drunk Victoire is a genius. I don't know how many people can claim that but I'm sure not one of them! I was actually thinking that the only reason James had gotten the job was because he was a male. It just didn't seem like there would be any other reason for why Victoire wouldn't get promoted if she was such a good worker.

I'm beginning to fear for the plan though. Clearly drunk Victoiee has something devious up her sleeve and I'm just a little bit scared to find out what it is.

Author's Response: Hahah yeah she seems to think he is at the very least! Usually drunk plans are never good ;) I hope if you read the next chapter that you enjoyed it! This story is fairly different to others with Vuctoire in, she's not a particularly nice character in this! Poor James!

Thank you for the reviews and for the challenge, I really enjoyed it :)


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Review #6, by AlexFan The Decline

23rd June 2013:
After a ridiculous amount of time I'm finally getting to reviewing your story! Nevertheless, I'm finally here.

I liked the fact that it was more of an introduction than anything else, we learned about the characters and got some understanding of what type of people that they were. It was actually a very interesting start.

I felt so bad for Teddy though because he's so clueless and I just want to pat him on the back and tell him it'll all be okay. He really should propose to Victoire though, by the sounds of it they'd been together a really really long time.

The only critique that I have is that you have some rather large paragraphs that I would suggest splitting up so that they're easier to read and such.

I knew James was going to get the job! I just new it! After telling us that she'd lost all of those promotions I just knew that Victoire wouldn't get this one. She really just can't seem to catch a break.

Anyway, you're off to an interesting start!

Author's Response: Hah don't worry, I'm still reviewing my challenge winners too!

I'm glad you liked te beginning, I always find it difficult to start new stories and not have a huge information dump especially with next gen.

Poor teddy is clueless, I'd like to think that was Harry and Ron's fault on some part, they would have been his role models and neither of them are any good with the opposite sex!

I haven't really thought much about how this story will end but I'd like to think Victoire will catch a break soon!

Thanks for the tip about the paragraphs, I'll be sure to change them :) and thanks for the lovely review!


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Review #7, by RavenclawGirl11 The Decline

11th May 2013:
Hi again! I said I would review another chapter and here I am!

I like the usage of third person, I could still hear Victoire coming through the chapter, if that makes sense. I like the ending, but think you could have used more speech.

Nevertheless, I still enjoyed this one shot and think that it is not too short or long. This paints a different picture of Victoire than I have ever read, and recommend you writing another Next Gen story
~ Macy x

Author's Response: Thank you! This has actually ended up being a short story rather than a one shot, I'm in the middle of writing the next chapter :) I wanted to paint a picture of Victoire's life first which is why there's not a great deal of speaking but there's more dialogue in the beef chapter.
Thank you for the reviews :)


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