Reading Reviews for Alone
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by darkkid Alone

20th July 2015:
Slytherin House Cup 2015

I have to say that 2nd person is starting to grow on me. This is maybe my third or fourth 2nd person story I've read and I've enjoyed all of them immensely!

Not know the name of who this is really helped created the mysterious atmosphere. I can't imagine how terrifying it must be, going face to face with Voldemort. Your character here really stood his/her ground, even while facing death.

I really like the "He could have been beautiful" line. It's just... human. Seeing the good in someone when, really, there is no good left in him. But you want to see the good and think you can see the good. And perhaps there might have been good but certainly not at that time.

It's sad.

I really enjoyed this!


Author's Response: Second person is a great story to read!

Thanks for all your lovely compliments! I really appreciate it! ♥

- Kayla :)

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Review #2, by Ron 4 Hermione Alone

20th July 2015:
House cup 2015- Hufflepuff

Hey there, I've never read a fic that is in 2nd person before so this was exciting. I think you managed it really well, it's really effective and not knowing the name helps add a little more tension and mystery to the story which is good for the genre and atmosphere that the fic already creates.

I think you've done a great job in getting across the fear that would have been around at that time, it must have been terrifying, especially if you were faced with Voldermort himself and I think that came across really well in this. I think that may have been because of the layout, the short sentences, all broken up into lines was really effective for this fic, especially since it's on the short side.

I think you've did a really good job with this, and it's a great story! :)

Author's Response: Ah, I'm glad you liked it! I'm actually quite proud of this story and to hear you think I've done a great job is awesome, thank you ♥

Thanks for taking the time to review ♥

- Kayla :)

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Review #3, by UnluckyStar57 Alone

4th January 2014:
Hi! For the Ninth Day of the Twelve Days of Reviewing, we had to review stories that have been turned into podcasts.

I listened to the podcast of this story while I read along on HPFF, and I think that although this story is marvelous by itself, putting a voice with the story made it even better. Everything was so intense--I could see Voldemort, and for a minute, I was the person who died. It was as if the narrator was my subconscious whispering in my ear.

Was the protagonist intended to be a canon character? I was trying to look for clues about who it could be, but I'm not sure if I'm barking up the wrong tree. If the person isn't meant to be a canon character, that's totally fine. I'm just curious to know who it is, if it's anyone I know! :)

Great story, and awesome podcast! :D


Author's Response: HOW GOOD IS THAT PODCAST?! I am absolutely AWED by Taylor's brilliance. She perfected this story in ways I couldn't have imagined!

The protagonist was meant to be Dorcas Meadowes :) But it can be whoever you wanted it to be. I just remember reading in canon Dorcas got killed by Voldemort himself.

Thank you for the brilliant review!

- Kayla :)

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Review #4, by ShadowRose Alone

20th July 2013:
Hi Kayla! I was wandering around the forums and saw this story in the First War Horror Challenge, and just had to click on it!

I absolutely adore the second-person POV. It's a really challenging way to write, but when done right, it adds this really chilling theme to the whole thing, and really sticks the reader right in the middle of the action. For a story like this, second person was a brilliant choice, as it really did help the reader see the horror of the war.

I love your descriptions in here - even though your character is facing death, she still makes these insightful observations like, "He could have been beautiful, with high cheekbones and deep set eyes." It was so poignant, and just points out that Voldemort could have been such a different person. Even the description of her torture is done so well, and combined with the POV, the reader really feels like they're in the scene themselves.

I really love the vagueness of this story. You never call Voldemort by his name, and you call a wand a "silly stick" - so when he uses it to kill her, it shows just how powerful it really is, even though it's just a stick. I think it adds this extra layer of mystery, and works really well.

Speaking of mystery, I'm thinking that the main character was supposed to be Dorcas? They did say that Voldemort wanted to kill her himself, so I think that would make the most sense. I like that you left it open to interpretation though - it's almost a commentary on the fact that so many people experience deaths like these from the war that it's almost difficult to distinguish one from another... and I just went all literature class on you. :P

This story doesn't use much dialogue, but the brief moment it does - "You won't win." is just beautiful. Even in her last moments, Dorcas still holds onto what she's always believed, and Voldemort kills her for it.

I really can't think of any CC for this story - it's beautifully written and sends chills down my spine. Fantastic job!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

P.S.: If you're not planning on podcasting this, I would love to do so. :)

Author's Response: Hey, Taylor! :D

I love reading second person, I must admit. It was so much fun writing it as well! :'D

I'm so glad you enjoyed the vagueness. I really love writing vague things, it's so much fun being ~mysterious~ :p

It was meant to be Dorcas! :D That was who I had in my mind when I was writing it, so yay! Everyone has gotten it so far! :D

Thank you so much for this amazing review! And you're MORE than welcome to podcast this! I would absolutely love seeing it done by you! :D

- Kayla. :)

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Review #5, by Dahlia Bailey Alone

26th June 2013:
This is amazing! and I'm not lying. Little goth/emo but I loved it!

Dahlia XD

Author's Response: hahaha it is a bit gothic/emo-ish but that was because when I sat down to write it I was extremely upset because of some personal issues and I felt extremely alone and dramatic so this one-shot popped out haha. :p

Anyway, thank you for the lovely review! :)

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Review #6, by GrangerDanger76 Alone

21st June 2013:
So first, I saw this banner at TDA, and wanted it SO bad because it's stunning. So I am so glad you got it because it fits so well.

Second. This. This is BEAUTIFUL. It made me want to crawl out of my skin. It was amazing. I felt the pain, and it was so tremendously real. Like whoa. And the fact that you pulled it off in SECOND PERSON is...PHUFF. MIND BLOWN. You are just really perfect.

I don't know what else to say because I'm literally in awe.



Camille and Astro

Author's Response: hahahaha when I first saw it, all I kept thinking was, "I MUST have this banner!"

I'm sorry for taking it, hehe, but it did fit really well! :p

Aw, thank you so much Cameowille! You're too kind! ♥

I've always wanted to write in second person, and I finally got the chance to! I'm glad that I seemed to have pulled it off! :D

Aw thank you so much, you're too kind! ♥

Thank you for the lovely review!

Kayla and Myles. ♥

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Review #7, by SilentConfession Alone

29th May 2013:
Hey! I'm here for the review!

I'm usually not a fan of second person as it doesn't really let me feel with the character but rather pushes me away from the person. However, i felt like you did a great job at exploring this POV, especially for a first attempt. It was especially gripping the second time I read it as the imagery and the emotions you describe seemed to really just bounce off the page. The first time I read it i felt quite distant from the character as she was unknown and the writing was in 2nd person. However, once i decided on who it was and read it again the story felt very real to me.

I like the character. (who i'm assuming is Dorcas? or Marlene). Anyway, I imagined Dorcas because it's similar to how i picture her end. How she, in a way, gave up on life and would rather death than anything else and yet even though she wasn't fighting she still remained defiant. It gives a good clue of who she was as a person before. The determination and the grit.

I may have read too much into this but it felt to me like she was feeling guilty for being alive. For being alive while others were dead and she wanted to join them because she didn't think they deserved it. It was really beautifully woven into the story though how tired she was, how the war had worn her down and that the darkness just seemed so bleak.

It's true though with war how it just sucks the happiness away and how the light and hope is so dim that it barely seems worth it anymore. There is something really cold about how you've written this, the wind and the rustling trees. How everyone's deserted her because he's decided to kill her.

I don't have any issue with this piece and although i wish i could have connected to the story earlier (as in the first time i read it rather then the second) you did a fabulous job at capturing a moment of war and making the future seem bleak and painful.

Thanks so much for entering my challenge! I'm so happy I was able to read this story! You have a really beautiful way of describing things and yet keeping those descriptions simple and to the point. Great job! :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Wow, thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it! :)

And yes, it is Dorcas! Everyone has picked up on it, and I'm so glad! :D

No, you haven't read too much into it! I tried to make her come off as feeling guilty for being alive! I'm so glad that it's come out like that! It originally was MUCH darker but I thought it might be too much for HPFF so I toned it down, but I really wanted to keep that guilt and you've no idea how happy I am that you picked up on it! :D

I also was aiming to feel cold, you're picking everything up! It makes me so unbelievably happy!

No, don't worry about not connecting to it the first time. I've had to read some pieces so many times before understanding. Like WeasleyTwins', "Come, Sugar", I think I had to read that about ten times before I finally understood what was happening! So don't worry too much about it! :)

Thank you so much for this review, you're far too kind! :D

Also, this is my 450th review all up, so thank you for that! :D

And also, thanks for the challenge! It was great writing this fic! :)

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Review #8, by Faith100z Alone

13th May 2013:
Hi there! :)

This is seriously brilliant!

You really did a great job with the second person! The way you used it with the description and language created such a haunting effect while I was reading. And the way you implied things through little subtle lines ("Like the others.") that make such an impact was awesome. I really got a sense of the hopelessness of the first war and of how she might be one of the only ones left out of all her friends.

If I had to guess, I'd say it's either Dorcas Meadowes or Marlene McKinnon, if we're assuming Voldemort killed Marlene's family shortly after/before her and not at the same time. The way you left it pretty open to interpretation was really neat!

It flowed so well too. The length was really perfect. I love that you didn't write a really long drawn out death scene, because that's usually not realistic.

You did such an amazing job, this is really well written. I love stories about the first war and this one was so brilliant and haunting.

- Faith

Author's Response: Hello!

Aw, thank you! :D

You're far too nice with all your lovely compliments! Thank you so much! ♥

Yeah, I had Dorcas Meadowes in my mind when I was writing it, but it could totally be Marlene McKinnon! I like laving things for open interpretation, it's amazing seeing how different most peoples' reactions are. (Except this one everyone picked Dorcas Meadowes haha)

Thank you so much for this amazing review, you really made my day! ♥

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Review #9, by PhoenixPulse Alone

7th May 2013:
Hello Kayla dear.

I though I should stop by and read something of yours, as a little break for my poor brain. These past few weeks have been terrible!

Personally, I think you did a wonderful job of writing second person! The imagery was seriously breathtaking and chilling. Your word choice was perfect. I can never really complain about your writing Kayla.

As for who I think Voldemort was murdering in this, I would like to guess, perhaps, Dorcas Meadowes? I think I recall reading about her being personally killed by Voldemort herself.

Lovely as usual Kayla. You write the dark/horror category rather well. I promise, once time allows I'll get back to you on your other stuff.


Author's Response: Hello Pearl!

(Fun fact: I spelt that 'Peraly' and then 'Parly' and then I finally got it right!)

I'm glad you thought I did a good-job of second person! I found it really easy for some reason haha. :p

Aw, you're making me blush! :p You're too nice! ♥

YES IT WAS DORCAS MEADOWES! Gold star for you! :D I'm glad both reviewers got it! :D

You're far too nice, and good luck with school! Thanks for reviewing! ♥

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Review #10, by teh tarik Alone

30th April 2013:
Hi there :) I was floating around the Recently Added and I came across this story.

This is such an amazing story. It's very graphic and is quite a terrifying portrait of the final moment of some unnamed fighter in the first war. There are so many vivid details which just made me pause: You want to drop to the ground like a broken marionette with your hair splaying out behind you, shining against the black soil; pale eyes staring up at the starless sky. This was a very nicely worded sentence. The imagery of your story is certainly very dark, full of death and loss and horror.

It really is a little startling to see how much the main character wants to die, how much he or she wants to give up the fight. At the same time, he or she is so defiant - defiant in not wanting to fight, to protect herself. The bit with the Cruciatus curse was just painful to read.

For a first attempt at second person narration, this was done amazingly well. Your writing is smooth and well-paced. I think you made a very good choice in leaving the protagonist unknown and unnamed. It works well with the second person POV. This person could be anyone - and so many died senseless deaths in the first war. The fact that the MC is unknown sort of forces a distance between the reader and the character, but the intimacy of the second person narration really fills in that gap - in the most heartrending way possible. Sorry I'm not making much sense here.

Anyway, great story :) I really enjoyed reading this. And, I'm not sure who the MC is; I would have to say that it's the member of the Order whom Voldemort killed personally - I think this was mentioned in OotP. I can't remember her name! Dorcas Meadowes?

Great stuff.


Author's Response: Hello!

Wow, thank you for all your kind compliments, they really mean a lot to me! ♥

I have to admit, that was my favourite sentence to write. I was just about to put it in the queue and it came to me so I shuffled everything around and plopped it in there, glad it works well! :p

No, no! You made heaps of sense. And you're far too sweet! ♥


IT WAS DORCAS MEADOWES! I'm so glad you've picked it out! Of course, people can have their own opinions but that's who I thought of as I was writing it! I'm so glad you got it!

*hands you a gold star* :p

Thanks for the amazing review! :D

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