Reading Reviews for Glass Castle
1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Lululuna prologue

21st April 2013:
Hello, here for your requested review!

It's interesting how the prologue is titled 'Aftermath,' and how you're starting the story (I'm assuming) after the action has taken place. This worked well in setting the mysterious and tense tone, and definitely made me want to read farther and find out what exactly the context is.

So, Hermione and Malfoy are together, and she had a miscarriage because of some sort of battle? :( I'm guessing that your future chapters will go back and cover how they fell in love, the roots of this battle, etc. You set a really good base for their relationship here and though it was very sad, gave me some insight into their characters and rapport.

Also, you have some beautiful language and descriptions here! I'll just point out a couple favourites:

" Like a child who'd gotten soap in his eyes, his eyes stung with tears." This was clever because he was drawing her a bath at the time! Well done :P

"She continued to stare at her reflection in the mirror, a face marred with dirt and dried blood; the lighting casting putrid shadows under her red rimmed eyes, her eyelashes clumped together by her dried salty tears." I really liked this description too, it conveyed both an image and the mood of grime and desperation.

"...his hand ghosting along the base of her spine..." I love the use of the word "ghosting" and think it was really lovely, but you do use it twice within a couple paragraphs, so perhaps consider changing one of the images to another word. Doing so will make the single use of it all the more powerful!

Overall, you did a lovely job with both plot (building suspense and anticipation), and with the writing style. Well done, and feel free to re-request a review when your next chapter is up!! :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!!!

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