Reading Reviews for Red.
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Review #1, by maraudertimes Grey

1st February 2014:
Hiya! It's me again!

Ooh, this is really cute! Let me guess, your MC (is her name Jess? did I mess up and not see her name somewhere or something, because I tend to do that a lot. sorry...) and Teddy fall in love? Aw, that would be so cute, albeit, sad for Victoire, but so gosh darn cute! :D

Okay, so now, I have a few CCs, although most just have to do with grammar typos, so I hope I don't seem too harsh:

"The thuder booms and the lighting strikes off in (...)" Thunder not thuder (simple typo though!)
"(...)well that didnt last very long." Didn't has an apostrophe (again, simple typo)
"she stuck her tongue out a me childishly." All you did was forget to capitalize the first word.
"'Good to bed,' I laughed." Go, not good, but that's just a simple typo

Then, there's this phrase: "'I got a new job remember?' I laughed, 'bartending at Alo's.'" I sounds right, but it's not visually correct, I don't think. If you just put a period after 'laughed' and then capitalized the 'b' in bartending, I believe that would solve it! So again, simple typo. No real other CCs though! :)

This was a really cute first chapter. We got to meet Jess, and Teddy, and see how hard-working and dedicated Jess is, albeit a little grumpy after a hard day's work. But, I really did like her, and the interactions with Teddy were sublime. I think you've characterized both very well!

The fact that Jess's boss would do that is kind of harsh, so I wonder why Jess puts up with her, but I guess you have to do that sometimes with friends, right? But I'm glad to see that Jess can manage that café on her own, with the help of the cook, of course!

I'm excited to see where this goes! I'm guessing Teddy and Jess start a fling and Teddy breaks off the engagement to Victoire, but anything could happen, right? Oh well, it's cute right now to think so, so I hope it happens!

Oh yeah! Also, this should probably be categorized as a short-story and not a song-fic. You can have song lyrics in your description (as long as you credit the singer and state what song they're from, but that doesn't necessarily require the fic to be a song-fic. Do you understand? Just because usually song-fics are one chapter fics or only slightly longer, and I'm hoping this isn't the case here!

Again, I hope I wasn't too harsh and that I was somewhat helpful! I really do like this story and it's just full of 'AW' moments! I love Jess and Teddy so far, so I'm excited to see where exactly you go from here! Good job!


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