Reading Reviews for Just Go With It
  
63 Reviews Found

Review #1, by newgenerationlover Pain

4th September 2014:
Hi there! Here for the BvB battle!! Please don't hate me for choosing this story instead of the one you wanted me to review, my curiosity got the better of me when I got to your author page and this story immediately caught my eye!

Yay! Love me some Victor Krum stories!! I really liked how you started the story by James' POV, showing how he didn't really understand what was happening. He is so adorable!! ^.^ I also really liked your characterization of Victor. He feel for Hermione because she saw the person past the star, which, as he latter said in similar words, is what he had always wanted.

Gosh, I'm so torn between wanting to have been in a high pureblood family because you get to wear pretty dresses and go to balls but then you usually have to accept a life of not being loved by your parents, which I wouldn't really like all that much honestly ;) Victor has been looking his whole life for love, found it, but then had it torn away when Hermione fell for Ron. I can't wait for Victor to find his love interest so he can be happy!!

Great job on the story so far!
Mary

Author's Response: Hi!

It's totally fine that you reviewed JGWI... And I'm very very glad you enjoyed the opening chapter. :)

But unfortunately, I've suddenly lost my muse to continue with this story. I've tried to write the eighth chapter again and again but I'm not having any luck with it. There are too many plot holes in the storyline and it's getting harder and harder to complete this.

So this story is currently on hiatus and I'm not sure if I want to continue with it. I'm considering deleting it or abandoning it.

But I still appreciate and love this awesome review! Thanks a million, Mary! :D

Ashwini


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Review #2, by MaeAndRee14 Pain

19th March 2014:
Ashwini!! This chapter was gorgeous! Absolutely stunning! Amazing I loved it! The description was gorgeous!! :D So I'm going to fangirl about that (I know i usually leave a more descriptive review, but i hope u don't mind the gushing for this one!)

I love love love Viktor! You make me want to wrap him in a huge hug! Poor poor him! Seriously, I should really stop getting so attached to fictional characters ;) And his memories abut his parents and no one really liking him! Awhh! Poor him! Let me give him a hug!!!

To be honest, you did this chapter amazingly well! There isn't much for me to do except shower praises of adoration! Seriously loved it! Cannot wait to see where this goes! :D

Sorry for the short review! I swear my other ones will definitely be longer and more in detail!! :D

-Curie :)

Author's Response: Curie!! Thanks for stopping by! :D

Haha, I'm so so happy you liked this so much! Just Go With It is just more of your type of story I guess. ;) Lots of romance, fluff and emotions! That's something I run away from, so this was like stepping out of my comfort zone. I'm glad you liked this so much!

Aww I love him too! And that is why I wrote this. To give him justice or the happiness he wants and is unable to find with Hermione. As I adore Romione, I couldn't bring myself to write Krumione story, so this is what I came up with instead. :) You can surely give him hugs!! :D

Thank you thank you!! I NEVER mind short reviews. In fact I kind of like them. :)

Ashwini


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Review #3, by 800 words of heaven Friends

10th March 2014:
REVIEW TAG!

I'm glad I'm back way quicker than I was last time. I missed poor Viktor and his socially awkward ways!

I think my favourite part of this chapter was all your descriptions of the settings. I loved how you took the time to describe The Leaky Cauldron and why it had changed. You, like Viktor thought, didn't have to do that, but you did anyway to show that times had changed and people had moved on. I also loved the little addition of the security check - times have definitely moved on, but it remains to be seen if all this extra caution is good or bad.

It's nice to know that some things never change, like Diagon Alley. And the press. Always after a sensational story! I really sympathised with Vikotr there. He just wants to get away from it all and nurse his broken heart in peace. Is that really too much to ask?

And our main leads have met already! And it's only the third chapter! Yayayay! I'm now really excited to see how you develop their relationship, because you've set it up as a blossoming friendship borne out of mutual benefit, and I can tell that it's going to be a long and winding road ahead for these two! Woohoo!

I completely get that need to mark a WIP "complete". I've never done it myself, but I can imagine it's a good feeling! Good luck with that endeavour, and I hope to be back soon :)

Author's Response: Hi! It was nice to see you back! :D

I'm so glad you liked the descriptions of Diagon Alley! I was a bit afraid that they might seem unnecessary to readers, but I think it's natural that Viktor is comparing what he saw years ago to what he sees now and it was an easy way to show how time has changed. :)

The press will definitely never change! It's still the same in their and out here in our world too. ;) And Viktor has to face the press again!

Yup, our main leads have met! :D I know it's too quick, but the real story begins from now and I thought this much background was enough. Their relationship takes really long time to develope, you see, for both of them like someone else, but the slower the better in love!

I've never marked a WIP completed too! And I truly mean to do that with this story. Thank you so so much for the wishes! Hope to see you back soon!

And yeah, thanks for this amazing review too!

Ashwini


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Review #4, by toomanycurls Planning

4th March 2014:
Hello! Doing our review swap!

I'm always surprised in this story how much Viktor just puts up with. He doesn't seem like he'd be in with the muggle born bashing but he just quietly listens (which goes against his hot headed response to the sign of the deathly hallows). I was glad that he eventually said something about her plan being a bit strange.

I think you mean flustered when you have flattered. At least I can't imagine Amy being flattered (pleased) when Viktor tells her that the plan won't work or when she tells her brothers to shut up.

Viktor's desire not to be linked to anyone is a bit interesting. Then it's all sad with him not liking his life or himself. :( He does seem to go back and forth between annoyance at Amy and flat out indifference to his circumstance.

-Rose

Author's Response: Hello Rose! Sorry for the late response! RL was quite busy. :(

I totally can know what you're thinking! Viktor is saying nothing about what is going on, but I think his situation should also be considered here. He is totally heartbroken and is determined to forget Hermione or at least stop thinking about her all the time and he's sort of seeking for any possible distraction. Amy is a big one actually. ;)

Oh, yeah, I wanted to say 'flustered' precisely.. I must have got a bit carried away while writing and must have wrote flattered instead. That's typical me! But I'll go back and correct it. Thanks for pointing that out!

Viktor never really liked to be the center of attention, did he? That's why he doesn't want himself to be what everyone is talking about.

Thanks for the wonderful review!

Ashwini


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Review #5, by Cannons Pain

28th February 2014:
Hi, I'm here for our review swap, thanks a lot btw!

I enjoyed this little start you've made, with an interesting character in Krum. I always enjoy reading about Krum especially when it causes some good old tension between Ron and Hermione.

I thought it was typical of Ron to wonder who had invited him. In fact your characterisation of Ron was very good, right down to the eye rolls.

I'll ignore all the pedantic grammatical stuff as that seems to have already been said.

All in all a lovely start with an interesting main character and in interesting premise for the story.

Thanks for this review swap, it's always fun to read different genre's and to get out of my comfort zone!

Cannons

Author's Response: Sorry for the late response! I was a bit busy with real life issues and I don't like to respond to reviews in haste. :)

I enjoy reading Krum too! I just haven't found anything about him on HPFF, but I am in love with his character. He's way too different and interesting and also fun to write!

Dear old Ron! That was one of the reasons I started off the story with Krum visiting the wedding. I wanted to relate my story a little to canon by adding a few Ron-Krum jealousy moments and stuff. :)

Thanks for the wonderful review Cannons! :D

Ashwini


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Review #6, by 800 words of heaven Running Away

28th February 2014:
REVIEW TAG!

So it's been a while since I read the first chapter of this, so I went back and refreshed my memory. Ah, poor Viktor!

Amy seems like a female Sirius Black - except for the whole soulmate and true love stuff, of course :P Sirius is one of my favourite characters so I'm curious where you'll take Amy. She's obviously a different character, but I love reading about journeys involving characters like this. So much hidden angst! So much character development potential! All that tragic backstory is too wonderful to resist.

How long is this relationship of Amy's going to last? I mean, she's setting out with the hope of marriage, which is a pretty big commitment for anyone, let alone someone you're not even dating... do I see potential for two broken hearts to mend each other? I hope so - these kinds of love stories are too hard to resist. They're sort of my guilty pleasure!

Awesome job! Hopefully I'll be back sooner than I was last time :)

Author's Response: Thanks for stopping by! :D

I like the idea of Amy being female Sirius Black! It's quite convincing, but Amy isn't that much hateful towards her family. She loves them, but she wants a thrill in her life, that's it. :)

Yeah, marriage is a pretty big thing and I'm sure she thinks she loves Charlie enough, but what's the truth you'll find out in the next few chapters.

Thanks for the lovely review! Hope to see you back! :D

Ashwini


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Review #7, by plunny Stricken

28th February 2014:
Great story so far! :D I liked Amy and couldn't stop reading until I reached this chapter. So much lovely fluff and humour! :D

Author's Response: Oh, thank you! It feels great to know that you enjoyed my story so much that you couldn't stop reading it. :)

Thanks a lot for the review!

Ashwini


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Review #8, by Nimbus2000 Leaving Together

24th February 2014:
Oh my God the last part! So much fluff. :) You are improving at writing fluff really.
Viktor was perfect like always and Amy was just herself. ;)
Ohh the Matthew part! I liked that you showed us the emotional side of Amy's brothers. It was a clever idea. But does Charlie really like Amy? Is he her boyfriend?
Update soon please!
Samm

Author's Response: Haha I love the last part too! I was worrying over it a little bit as I don't usually write fluff, so I'm so glad you liked it. :)

Yeah, the Matthew part was just to show that Amy's brothers aren't really gits but are quite caring about their little sister.

As for Charlie. I can't say anything right now, we'll be meeting him later on in the story. :)

Thanks for reading and reviewing Sam!

Ashwini


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Review #9, by Nimbus2000 New Impressions

18th February 2014:
The first thing I noticed is that your CI is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. :D Anyways, now on the chapter.
Your lead pair is so sweet! I want them to get married in the next chapter and have kids in the chapter after it that's how much I love them. :P
Ignore me, I just like them a lot. But the chapter was very sweet and they are falling in love finally. At least Viktor is! I just hope Amy begins to love him back before she reaches Charlie. I have my fingers crossed.
Great job as usual!
Sam

Author's Response: Hi Sam! :D

I know, I'm absolutely in love with the gorgeous CI! TDA artists are amazing. :)

Haha, I liked your idea! I wish they would get married and have kids in next two chapters. ;) But unfortunately, they need time to fall in love.

I can't say that Viktor is falling in love. They're just good friends now and are beginning to 'like' each other. Let's see what happens within the journey to Hogsmeade!

Thanks for another awesome review!

Ashwini


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Review #10, by Penelope Inkwell Pain

12th February 2014:
Hi Ashwini! Penny here for the review swap. It’s nice to meet you :D



I can tell you’ve really put the time and effort in, as far as creating your scene goes. From your descriptions, I felt like you were really seeing a clear view of the whole thing in your head.

I think your explanations of why Krum was so attracted to Hermione and why she was so special are perfect. You really make a good point. Reading the books, it’s so easy to just write off his attraction as a minor thing, but I suppose it wouldn’t have been minor to him. It really makes me feel for Viktor. I always rather liked him, come to think of it.

By the way, I support your not using an accent for Krum. That would be hard to write for every single sentence of a story. Besides, it’s been several years now that he’s been involved in competitive Quidditch, and he may have had more reasons to use English in the international sphere than he would have as a student at Durmstrang. It’s reasonable to believe that his accent might have softened as his English improved. Also, the HP books were told from Harry’s perspective, and of course he’d hear Viktor’s words as being noticeably different, but Viktor himself wouldn’t think that way, and this is his story, after all. Anyway, I think it makes sense. Stumbling over a word on occasion might make sense, but an accent the whole time? I think you made a smart decision. :D


CC:

That first paragraph looks a bit daunting, large as it is. It’s the normal way to write, of course, since that’s the style in which most books are written. However, I’ve noticed that on HPFF people seem to prefer a more broken-up format, and large chunks of text--especially right at the beginning--tend to scare them off. So, while there’s certainly nothing incorrect about it, it might be helpful to your readers to split the longer paragraphs up.

Most of my constructive criticism would be grammatical/mechanical. There are a few moments in the opening scene where I get distracted by small grammar mistakes. Pleeease don’t feel bad about that. I am a horrible grammar nazi. Like, combine Grammar Nazi and ADHD and you have me. “Lalalalala, reading, reading, OH, A COMMA SPLICE!” It’s like my version of, “Oh, look, a squirrel!” But, moving on...

The chapter could use more commas (I, for one, always use too many. It’s hard to balance those out). Also, when you add “like” to another word, I believe there’s supposed to be a dash between them. For example, “pitcher like” should be “pitcher-like”. At least, that’s how I think it’s meant to work.

“Ron remembered with a jolt that Krum hadn’t played really nice in the World Cup.”
--This sentence doesn’t quite work grammatically. “Krum hadn’t played very well” might be better. Or, grammar could be ignored if it was a repetition of Ron’s actual compliment. Like:
- “‘I saw you at the world cup,’ he said a bit roughly, ‘you were-um-really good.’ Krum finally turned his eyes to Ron and frowned. Ron remembered with a jolt that Krum hadn’t played “really good” in the World Cup.”

The next big paragraph, is, I think, a little bit of a show-and-tell kind of thing. I think that your story and character development would be a lot better if, instead of just offering all this information up front, you made us work for it a little bit. Hint at it, and reveal tidbits over time rather than just straight-up telling us. So maybe say something like, 

“Viktor Krum had never truly experienced love. His parents were never much concerned with their flesh-and-blood child. So long as the blood in question was pure, that was enough for them. And his fans were in love with a person that didn’t exist, had never existed. All those girls who pored over images of the famous Viktor Krum, who had memorised his favorite color, favorite broomstick, and how he took his tea, who screamed ‘We love you, Viktor‘ over the rest of the roaring crowd, they were liars. They didn’t like him; they liked his game and his fame.” --I really like that last sentence by the way (that one was all yours).

Anyway, that tells you certain things about him, but leaves the details of his estrangement from his family to be discovered later. And it sets up why Hermione was so different, which you explain perfectly. By the way, I’m not implying that these should be sentences you insert into your story. I just always prefer when people give me specific advice, and explain what they mean by adding examples to their suggestions.

Overall, I think you have a very sympathetic main character that readers will really enjoy. You’ve done a good job with Krum. I’m certainly wondering what the plan is, and what kind of girl his romantic interest might be! She’d have to be very special. That’s for sure. Thanks for the review swap. I had fun!



--Penny

Author's Response: Hey Penny! :D

Yeah, the scene was well planned by me and I had everything pictured in my mind. :) I always do that before I write anything, otherwise the descriptions seem rather dull or something. I'm glad you could tell that though!

Thanks! I always thought Viktor wasn't just attracted to Hermione but was very serious about her. Hermione was never attractive kind of girl so it seemed rather off that he was just flirting with her. And the way Viktor was characterized in GoF sort of made me think that his sulky behaviour had roots in his family background and his female fans. Hermione wasn't a big fan of his, was she?

Actually, I was worried about exactly the same thing today and had also PM'd one of my friends to ask if the absence of the accent seems odd, so I want to hug you for saying that I made a smart choice. :) That was certainly a relief to me!

Yeah, I just figured out it is a bit too long and it seems rather hard to read... As for the constructive criticism, I absoulutely don't mind it. In fact I feel it is the best thing about reviews. And I'm still a little weak in punctuation and I'm never sure about commas, so thanks for pointing that out!

I did like your suggestion... It kind of makes sense that it suits the whole thing better. No, I won't be copying your words, but please don't mind if I steal a bit from it! :P I liked the idea of giving examples while reviewing, so I might end up steeling that too. ;)

I know Viktor is a sympathetic main character and I've chosen him because no one gives him the sympathy he deserves! So this story has been written to assure everyone wondering what became of him that he was happy and he indeed found someone else. :)

Do come back to meet Amy, my OC! She's very different than what you may have in mind.

Thank you for reading and reviewing! You really made my day! :D

Ashwini


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Review #11, by Barny Friends

11th February 2014:
Oh that was hilarious! They met dramatically and I'm sure will fall in love the same way. Great job!

Author's Response: I'm so happy you found this funny! I'm not always comfortable with writing humour, so it gives me a great relief. :)

Yeah, I know the story itself is a bit dramatic, but let's see how they fall in love! ;)

Thanks a lot for the reviews!

Ashwini


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Review #12, by Barny Running Away

11th February 2014:
I hope you will forgive me for forgetting this story for a long time! I haven't stopped by at HPFF since October I guess. Anyways i loved My and am sure you will keep the humour genre with her. She is just a bit too cheerful for someone like viktor. Although will be back now! :D

Author's Response: It's totally fair that you didn't leave reviews, no worries! I'm just glad you came back to the story again. :)

Yeah, Amy is the humorous part of the story and I'm sure you'll find out more about her deeper side. I think the cheerfulness in her and the seriousness in Viktor sort of balance each other to make the perfect pair.

Thanks for the lovely review! :D

Ashwini


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Review #13, by LightLeviosa5443 New Impressions

5th February 2014:
Hehe, is it cheating reviewing this chapter? I don't think so!! I really love what you've done with this story. I would give you critiques, but I think I already did it all in the message, so instead I'm just going to gush about how awesome it is.

I really do love this story!! Especially this chapter. Amy is so funny when she's listening to the story, and the way she's so shocked about Krum and Hermione.

I think it's sweet and really genuine that Krum felt so strongly for Hermione and that she just didn't reciprocate. I can see her not-intentionally hurting him because it was so much less serious for her, and he was just so unused to not having someone fawn over him that he fell for her.

I can't wait to see what you do with the rest of the story! I'm really interested to see how Amy and Krum progress as a couple, especially since the chapter ended that way! Let me know when you update it! I'll race on over here to read it!!!

Keep up the good work!

xoxo Sarah

Author's Response: Of course not dear! :) In fact I loved having another lovely review from you. Thanks a lot!

I'm kind of relieved to know you found Amy funny, for I'm not really comfortable with writing humor, as I usually go for mystery and angst. This story is more like a mixture of humor and angst so writing it was pretty difficult, especially this chapter.

I always hate Hermione for doing that! We all could clearly see how madly he was in love with her, but she never took him seriously. They could've been a great couple with Viktor loving her so much, but alas! Let's hope he finds Amy as his true love instead. ;)

In this chapter, both of them really 'talked' for the first time, so here they are beginning to feel for each other. I have planned how they are to get closer and fall in love and I've already begun the next chapter. :)

Will surely let you know when I update. :)

Thanks for the lovely review Sarah! :D

Ashwini


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Review #14, by Valency Running Away

3rd February 2014:
Oh, is Amy THE ONE? I wasn't expecting someone like her for Viktor, but I think opposites do attract and I hope their love works well and Viktor forgets Hermione. want to know how they meet now. :)

Author's Response: Haha, yes, Amy's THE ONE. ;) I know she's not what you had expected, but that's the funny part of the whole thing. Two exactly opposite people falling in love through weird situations.

Thanks for the lovely review! :)

Ashwini


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Review #15, by Valency Pain

3rd February 2014:
Sounds like a good story. Loved your characterization of Viktor and I feel sorry for him! But I'm happy Ron and Hermione got married. I wouldn't ship Krumione for a thousand dollars so I am glad you're making him fall in love with your OC. Can't wait to know what kind of girl he meets!

Author's Response: I'm so happy to hear you liked Viktor's characterization! There were times when people said I characterized him horribly, so this feels like the loveliest compliment to me now.

Me too! I don't really approve of Krumione, though I believe he did truly love her. That was my inspiration for this story actually.

Let's see what you think of my OC!

Thanks for leaving a wonderful review! :D

Ashwini


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Review #16, by toomanycurls Stricken

21st January 2014:
Hello!! Doing our review swap!

I love the explanation you give for how quiet Viktor is. It's perfectly paced and gives just the right level of backstory. I could see it being stressful for him to be with someone who chats nonstop. haha, oh Viktor's patience is getting quite thin.

It makes me laugh that she doesn't know she's talking to a famous. Amy does seem a bit obnoxious. shouldn't she be a bit more frightened on the run from her family?

Oh it's so sad that Viktor hasn't had a friend before. He just needs a hug now.

Their running around and running right into her brothers again was quite amusing. I just can't believe she told them Viktor was going to marry her. I mean, she's in love with someone else after all.

Quite an interesting chapter!

-Rose

Author's Response: Hi! It was nice to see you back! :)

I'm so glad you liked the explanation for Viktor's quietness! I always believed his sulky and quiet behavior was related to some incidents happened in his childhood, and that's what I'm writing in this story. It makes me happy to hear you found everything believable and also enjoyed it!

Amy isn't a bit afraid of her brothers, instead she keeps bossing them around. She knows they can be fooled easily and that's what it makes me sad. She doesn't think the same about the parents, but they aren't currently around. :)

Haha, I know it's hard to believe she lied! But she does have a plan on her mind which is revealed in the next chapter. :)

Thanks for the wonderful review, Rose! :D

Ashwini



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Review #17, by Secret Santa Planning

30th December 2013:
Round 5 of 5!

Wow that was fast! I plowed through your story!

Are you still writing this because I'm interested in seeing what happens next?

So Viktor and Amy, eh? Let's see how this one goes. Her brothers aren't very mature, are they? Cute that the house elf was happy and trying to cook to impress. Anywho, great job again!!

Until next time!

Author's Response: Yes, I'm still writing this. :) I just haven't updated in a while because of exams and updates of my other two WIPs. But i have chapter six written and will put it in the queue once it is reopened.

It's Viktor and Amy right from the beginning! Let's see how their friendship developes now. :)

Thanks for the lovely reviews, Secret Santa! You really made my last day of the year... :)
Happy New Year!

Ashwini


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Review #18, by Secret Santa Stricken

30th December 2013:
Round 4 of 5!!

Oh my oh my. What has Viktor gotten himself into? Poor guy just wanted a shabby hotel room in muggle London and some time to himself, instead he got a wife he doesn't particularly like, and absolutely no solidarity.

I really enjoyed this chapter, it was probably my favourite so far!

Author's Response: Yes, poor Viktor! ;) I know he's gotten too much relaxation than he had expected. But believe me, this is happening for something good! :) Oh and this is my current favorite chapter too! :)

Thanks for the lovely review! :D

Ashwini


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Review #19, by Secret Santa Friends

30th December 2013:
Round 3 of 5!!

So this was interesting, I think I really like how Amy just starts talking to him and being friendly. How risky of her to be in the same place as her brothers. They must've been really close behind her when leaving. Or she's just really slow.

I think your changing The Leaky Cauldron and how you get into Diagon Alley was very unique. I've never read anyone doing that. Great job!

Author's Response: Haha, I'm so glad you liked Amy being friendly with him right away! That's just the way that girl is I guess. ;) Brace yourself, she's going to take more dangerous risks in the future chapters! I'm happy you liked the changes in Diagon Alley. I just wrote them to show how much time has passed since Krum met Hermione.

Thanks for the lovely review!

Ashwini


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Review #20, by Secret Santa Running Away

30th December 2013:
Round 2 of 5!!

So when the chapter started off I wasn't sure where you were going to go. I was like there's no way Krum is already getting married. But I see now. So is this who Krum is going to run into? Is her family going to come looking for her? How is this boyfriend of hers going to take her showing up? Does he want to marry her as well, or is that just her idea?

Very interesting and captivating story! I really quite enjoyed it! Brilliant job!

Author's Response: Oh, did I confuse you?? But it's just the way I always introduce my characters. I give one individual chapter to each and explore them moderately throughout. :) Hope the confusion will be cleared as you move on!

Yes, Amy's the one he's going to run into. :) I'm sure all the questions will be answered as you read on, so it will be better not to say anything and keep the suspense! :D

Thanks for the wonderful review, dear!

Ashwini


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Review #21, by Secret Santa Pain

30th December 2013:
Hi! So sorry that this took so long for me to get to you! But the five reviews promised will be on this story!

So I don't normally read stories about Krum, I actually never have, but this story seems really interesting and I'm quite enjoying it!

Interesting idea of having Krum be in love with Hermione and have never gotten over her. I can't wait to see where you go with this story!!

Author's Response: Hello Secret Santa! :D

The reason behind my decision to write this story was that Viktor Krum is a very unexplored character on HPFF. It makes me happy to hear that my story sounded interesting and you felt like reading it even though you haven't read Viktor before. That's a really great thing for me! :)

In my eyes, he truly loved Hermione and I've tried to give it a strong reason in my story.

Thanks for leaving a lovely gift! :D

Ashwini


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Review #22, by LitzyReads Planning

18th December 2013:
I really like this fic, It saddens me that there are no more Krum fics out there. There are so many good characters in the HP world that nobody writes about.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :D I know there aren't many stories about Krum. He's a really challenging as well as interesting character to write. Glad someone's around who thinks the same!

Ashwini


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Review #23, by 800 words of heaven Pain

17th December 2013:
REVIEW TAG!

I love me some fluffy lovin'! I'm such a sucker for stories like this. I already adore what you've got going with Victor here - tall, dark and broody. It's a stereotype for a reason, after all!

I'm looking forward to getting to know with whom Victor will fall in love. She must be someone special, especially to get past that "bad boy" shell! I hope we get to meet her in the next chapter - looking forward to it either way!

Author's Response: Fluff is something I'm not always comfortable with, so it feels nice to hear you enjoyed it. :)

You'll have to return for the next chapter to know more about my OC Amy and how they will meet.

Thanks for taking time to leave such a brilliant review! :D

Ashwini


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Review #24, by randomwriter Running Away

15th November 2013:
Hello Ashwini! :)
I'm back. Courtesy, REVIEW TAG! :D
I know it has taken me a very long time, I'm so sorry! :( I should learn to be more prompt with these things!

Anyway, onto the review.

I'm liking the sound of Amy. She seems like a free-spirit and I really like such characters who aren't afraid to break free and go their own way!
I think you have a lot of potential to develop a great character here and I hope that you have explored her further in the coming chapters because it is loads of fun to read about her! :)

I love how you've given the readers two very disconnected chapters here. It keeps us guessing and wondering. It's a wonderful way to keep your readers in the loop. Personally, I'm trying to figure out where the two stories overlap.

I do have some CC though, and I hope this doesn't sound too harsh! Firstly, I think I mentioned this in the first chapter too, but I'll say it again. Your paragraphs are quite dense and it makes the story difficult to read or concentrate on. If you could break up your paragraphs, it'd be great!

Secondly, description, description, description! Trust me, you've got some great stuff here and it's the kind of story that lends itself well to a little bit of description. Not too much, but there has to be a balance. I would love to know how all of this looked or how it all felt! Flesh it out a little and you're set :)

Thirdly, I see that you've made some grammatical errors and some of the words have been used out of context. Don't worry! It happens to the best of us :) But if you could get a beta, I think it would be very helpful to you because I think that sometimes, as a reader, you see a mistake and you stop and correct it in your head. A few of those don't distract the reader much, but there's a point where we have to stop-and-correct a little more than we should. So, I'm not saying that this is bad, but I think it would be nice if you could have the mistakes edited out :)

Finally, and if you allow me to be brutally honest, Amy... She's a witch who's of age, isn't she? So why couldn't she apparate out? Or why didn't she cast a couple of spells here and there to aid her in her escape? It just seems highly unrealistic to me that a witch like her would not make full use of her magical abilities in such a situation.

Also, maybe you were going for a reckless personality, but you described her as a naughty girl. and it seemed a bit childish, but that's just me :P

Overall, I think that there's a lot of room for improvement here, but what you have so far is quite interesting. I like your OC and hope that you will be able to develop her well. I wish to find out how her story is linked to Krum's and I will be back soon :) In the meantime, if you ever need any help, do shoot me a PM and I will do what I can!

I'm sorry if this seemed sort of harsh. I'm only trying to help and I do tend to include a lot of CC in my reviews! It's just all the advice I can give and I'm sorry if I gave a bit too much or if it's all rubbish! :P

Hope this was helpful! :)

Author's Response: Hi there! It was nice to see you back for the second chapter. :)

Yes, I have tried to explore her slowly through the upcoming chapters. I didn't put much description into this for I wanted to tell more about her through Viktor's perspective. You'll have to come back for chapter 3 if you want to know how they meet though! ;)

Well, you do make sense. It didn't even come to my mind that Amy might use spells or something to escape her house! Thanks so much for mentioning that! I'll definitely edit the chapter and make some changes. =]

It wasn't harsh at all! Neither this was rubbish. Thanks for the lovely review!

Ashwini


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Review #25, by Nimbus2000 Planning

4th November 2013:
Ooh I can't wait to see what confessions Viktor has to make. You've made this interesting now... :D
Just correct the grammar and punctuation mistakes you've made in this one. ;)

Author's Response: You'll have to wait until I update to know about the confessions! :) I'll start writing the chapter and post it soon, but I have to edit this one before I start a new one. I hadn't noticed the mistakes I made. :)
Thanks for your endless support to my story! Your reviews really make my day. :D
Ashwini


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