Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.





  
119 Reviews Found

Review #1, by hedwig1751 Chapter VI

2nd April 2017:
Hello :) here for Capture the Flag!

I really love how you've handled this fic in general- the four founders have always been addressed as somewhat godly or even mythical in the Potter books- but I think by writing about them you make them seem more human and realistic!

Rowena and her flying...it makes the founding much more realistic (as well as the founders themselves...as mentioned above :/) because really: four immensely powerful magical people have to disagree on something, right? As opposed to the Potter books- where the founding is addressed as some sort of miracle (as if they agreed on everything) which probably wasn't the case, judging Gryffindor's fight with Slytherin, and in this case; Ravenclaw's disagreement in terms of flying.

Even with my limited History of Magic (and history in general to be honest) this sounds as if it could really be cannon; I love how you incorporate simple aspects such as Gryffindor's hat, and the Quill and Book into this as the four founders are figuring out what to do, when in the Potter books, it has already been considered history.

-Hedwig xx

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you so much, it's wonderful to hear that you have enjoyed the story and that you like my portrayal of the founders!

I really like the point you made about Rowena's opposition to flying as well - it's an example of a disagreement that they handled well, as opposed to the legendary one that sent Salazar away. You're so right- they would have disagreed on other things as well, because that's just what happens when you have four people trying to plan out something as big as Hogwarts! :P

Ah, thank you so much, that's such a wonderful compliment that this sounds like it could be canon. Since there's not much we really have from canon for this time period, I incorporated everything I could, and I'm so glad that you liked the way everything fit in!

Thanks so much for this lovely review! ♥


 Report Review

Review #2, by AbraxanUnicorn Chapter V

2nd April 2017:
Right! Time to come out, little flag, wherever you are hiding.

So, our four founders have had a year to iron out any teething problems and to troubleshoot after the first year. At least the class sizes are still small and manageable. It's nice that Godric and Helga are able to work with their spouses, otherwise I can imagine it would be a lonely married experience for each of them.

So, a relationship between Salazar and Maeve has been and gone, with what sounds like no hope of reconciliation if Maeve is speaking out about the dangers of sorcery.

I love the part detailing the foundation of the Sorting Hat as we know it in Harry's day. And my, did that Hat have sass back then?! Surprised that it Sorted Laudine into Slytherin (and it sounds like Godric was too).

Already, Salazar is showing signs that he's not really singing from the same hymn sheet as the other three founders, by wanting to be more selective of student intakes and showing his prejudice against muggle-borns. Rowena also shows some snobbery by suggesting only those with the greatest magical aptitude be admitted. I'm glad that she finally sees a bit of sense when she considers learning and unity at the school.

One year later - and I'm sad for Rowena that Salazar has married someone else (ah! The locket appears!), but I'm glad she's standing her ground regarding the stuffy Lord Redwald. Although it doesn't really sound as though her heart's in marrying Sir Palamon of Suffolk, either.

Awesome chapter, as usual!

Brax X

Author's Response: It's taking me forever to respond to all these reviews but I'm getting there, I promise!

Yeah, there's no hope of reconciliation for them :( Unfortunately their relationship was always kind of tenuous, however much Salazar didn't see that as he was infatuated with her.

I'm glad you liked the introduction of the sorting hat! Hahaa, the hat wasn't originally intended to be that sassy, it just really had a mind of its own and wrote itself. I intended Laudine to be a Slytherin from the very beginning :P But yeah, I bet everyone was surprised!

Given that the sorting hat had to pick students based on what each of the Founders valued most, it seemed like it would make sense for each of them to be selective about what traits they look for in students (apart from Helga, who just wants everyone to be allowed). So while none of their choices ended up affecting the entire student body, it did set a precedent for who went into what house.

Poor Rowena, yes :( But yeah, at least she's not with Redwald :P You're right that her heart's not really in it, and honestly the fact that she sort of settled and didn't meet her equal in intelligence ends up being sort of a big deal.

Thanks so much! I really appreciate the review and I'm so glad you're enjoying the story!


 Report Review

Review #3, by Dirigible_Plums Chapter IV

2nd April 2017:
Hello!

I'm here for (another) jailbreak.

Well, this was certainly a tumultuous chapter, wasn't it? It started off on a hopeful note - Salazar finally had his lady love, Hogwarts was flourishing and would continue to do so - but it ends on much tenser tones. It was quite upsetting to see how heartbreak transformed Salazar into the infamous man known by Harry's time.

Speaking of which... Lady Maeve. I understand fully that people in those days were extremely superstitious and the serpent really was seen as an instrument of the Devil. To communicate with it would have been seen as demonic. But it was still startling how quickly she changed her tune. She was ready to marry Salazar, but the revelation that he is a Parselmouth had her so sure that he was possessed by the Devil and was truly evil in less than thirty seconds. He's right when he says that she didn't truly love or trust him. If she had, she wouldn't have hastened into a marriage. I understand that she is acting out of fear but still.

Onto the other tensions showing... the differences between the founders. They're finally beginning to show 😭 As of right now, it's all light and not very serious but Salazar's heartbreak is sure to create some waves. His anti-Muggle sentiment surely won't go over well with Godric (who laments the divisions between the two groups) or Helga (who freely interacts with everyone). It is sad knowing what is to come.

Plums xo
♡♡♡

Author's Response: Welcome back!

I felt that it needed to be something really personal to transform Salazar into what he was eventually known for. I mean, we know he did resort to some extreme measures eventually, and it seemed like the sort of thing that would have built up from something that deeply hurt him alone.

yeah, Maeve ended up being a pretty unfortunate person for Salazar to bestow his love on. She did change her tune pretty rapidly - despite how much she may have liked him, she never did end up accepting his ability to do magic, and it only took one bad instance of magic to break their relationship apart. :(

There are a lot of tensions building up, yeah. Now that the school is running relatively smoothly and effectively and they're facing a lot fewer issues with that side of things, the cracks are beginning to appear :-/ yeah, especially sad seeing this in the light of knowing what happens in the end!

Thanks for another amazing review!


 Report Review

Review #4, by ANightingaleInAGoldenCage Chapter III

2nd April 2017:
Hi!

I'm here again for CTF and to break my lovely Brax out!
I must say that it is the first time I've ever in my life read a Founders story and this is quite the experience, really. I do think that you get the language and setting quite right actually, regarding the timeperiod, and while I'm not sure if it's completely accurate, it is a great attempt at it anyway. I also love the fact that you include people like Lady Maeve in it, no matter how much of a sidecharacter she is at the moment. It really helps set the setting, really.
I also adore how much research you put into this. I loved reading about the reason why Helga chose the basement for the commonroom and how she helped out with recipes and all. Plus why there are moving staircases and what exactly brought it all on. The reason why the Slytherin commonroom didn't have a door truly made me lauhgh and of course it could only have been Gyrffindor to think up the secret passageways. I also loved that you hadn't yet had a sorting hat and that you adress the difficulties in regards to sorting that came with it. Very well done!

Author's Response: Hi Ineke! Ah, I'm honoured to be your introduction to Founders fics, and thank you so much, I'm so glad you think the language and setting fit the time period.

Thank you! I actually loved doing research on this - there's so little known about this time period from canon, and besides, it made sense to me that Muggle events would be a much bigger deal to magical folk in the days before the Statute of Secrecy, when there was still a lot of mixing between the worlds.

I'm really glad you liked all the background about the common rooms and staircases and sorting hat. Thanks so much for reading and for this wonderful review!


 Report Review

Review #5, by AbraxanUnicorn Chapter III

2nd April 2017:
That scoundrel of a flag continues to elude, but we shall not be thwarted.

Hurrah! As I expected (and hoped), this chapter focuses primarily on the planning and construction of Hogwarts school. I loved the opening paragraph of Helga deciding upon a school name and designing a curriculum, and Rowena wandering about in a diadem, muttering to herself!

I love how you came up with the name "Hogwarts" by extrapolating from plant names. It was a sound idea to use a familiar word so as not to put off those who were not from a noble or pureblood background (despite what Salazar may be thinking). I also love how Godric gets corrected by Rowena when he suggests "Hogwarts School Of Wizardry" as an appropriate name. I regard it is a sign of the times rather than a deliberate omission.

The planning of the building is written in such detail; I love knowing the background to the trick staircases and the location of the school in the Highlands. OMG, how cute was the exchange between Helga and Laurence when he showed her the perfect spot for Hogwarts, and she offered to teach his son for free as he couldn't afford the fees? She's so lovely!

I really like the idea of sending notes by falcon. Why shouldn't all birds of prey be able to carry messages?

The start of the school in 980AD with it's little teething problems and the arrival of a student via dragon made me smile.

It might have been a filler chapter, but it doesn't mean it's not a thoroughly enjoyable read :)

Brax X

Author's Response: Hurrah, another Brax review! ♥ You leave such lovely reviews!

I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter and all the in depth exploration of the construction and planning of Hogwarts, the really mundane aspect of everything. I never actually see that sort of thing in other Founders fics but it's something I've always wondered about, haha!

Thanks, I'm glad you liked the origin of the name! Honestly, it is such a weird name haha, like, what were they thinking :P And yeah, the omission was a sign of the times, and Rowena is just progressive. In a way, I think the wizarding world was more progressive than the Muggle world in those days, since we know two of the founders of this great school were women, in a time when women didn't have a whole lot of say in politics or really much else. (Well, mostly. It is still called the /wizarding/ world... what about witches?)

Thank you! I'm thrilled that you like the background of all the little quirks of Hogwarts. Honestly, I think this is my favourite chapter of the story because of getting to come up with reasons for all the odd things we know about Hogwarts :D

Thanks so much for the review and I'm so glad you liked the chapter!


 Report Review

Review #6, by lovegood27 Chapter IV

2nd April 2017:
Hey! Here for Capture The Flag ;)

This has been an interesting story so far. I always enjoy reading about reasons why Salazar might have hated Muggles, since it's never explained in the books. I think you've built a nice strong case against Muggles here in this story. It was kind of heartless of Maeve to just run of like that, especially when Salazar was only trying to make sure she wasn't poisoned. If I were in his position, I wouldn't be feeling too great about Muggles either.

No Muggleborns allowed in Hogwarts? That's still a bit harsh. Ooh, I wonder how the other founders would react. Though, obviously, we already know from the books what happens. I think you're doing a good job so far of slowly building up tension. I like how we're now beginning to see Slytherin as we know him, teaching Dark Arts etc. I was glad they didn't have too big an argument over it, but I feel like this isn't going to be the last disagreement Slytherin will be having with the founders.

Founders era isn't exactly my favourite era to read about, but you kept me engaged all the way here. And because I'm always trash for some romance to liven things up ;)

Very enjoyable read- thank you! :D

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thank you so much, I'm so thrilled you find this to be an interesting story - I had so much fun exploring all these concepts while writing it! And thanks, I'm glad my explanation of Salazar's hatred of Muggles made a lot of sense. For him to take such drastic measure later on, with a basilisk and all, I figured it had to be something really personal.

It means a lot to me that you think the tension is built up well, thanks! And I'm really glad to hear that you were interested in the story despite not usually liking Founders.

So glad you've enjoyed this! Thanks so much for the review!


 Report Review

Review #7, by Dirigible_Plums Chapter II

2nd April 2017:
Hello again!

I'm here for another jailbreak ;)

It's really upsetting to see relations between Muggles and magical people crumble so quickly and easily. There's always a danger of friction between groups of two very different people when they're living in the same community and even more so when one of the groups yields more power than the other. There's always an undercurrent of fear of what the others are capable of. Which, yes, some of them can use their power to do bad things but isn't that true for anyone?

It's particularly heartbreaking to see the effects on the little children. These are the years in which their minds are still developing, their personalities shaped by what is around them. To grow up thinking that something about you is inherently wrong just because you can do magic is an awful thought. Even more awful is that this parents don't realise the potential hatred they're cultivating in the next generation by separating their Muggle children from the magical ones out of fear. It's honestly so damaging.

I loved reading about Godric's sense of morality. He's truly an impressive man and a good one too it seems. Others clearly have no qualms about using magic against those who cannot respond in kind but he's too noble to do the same. Admirable, really.

One minor note, however. You mention a baron in here but I don't think that barons exist at this time. As far as I am aware, the title is brought by William the Conqueror and I think this predates it. I'm not sure what he could be however. Earls are brought by the Vikings, I think, so maybe an ealdorman? Idk.

Plums xo
♡♡♡

Author's Response: Hi! Welcome back!

Yeah, it is sad how the relations between muggles and magical people are so tenuous. You're definitely seeing it through much more rational eyes than the Muggles in the story haha - you are correct of course, but since fear and lack of understanding is such a strong instigator for dislike, when stuff like this happens it makes the relationships really rocky for a while, even if things are generally peaceful. I figured the much later Statute of Secrecy built on a long time of things like this.

Poor magical children :( It really is damaging, which is what Godric saw in that and realised that there had to be a separate school for magical children. What a great point you made about them growing up thinking something is wrong with them, and how the parents are contributing to this fear and hatred unintentionally - this is so relevant to a lot of issues in society nowadays as well, it's still so true. But yeah, definitely a really complicated issue about how the two societies mesh (or don't).

Ah, yeah, the Baron... You're correct, barons didn't exist at that time, and it was a Germanic title brought in the invasion about 90 years after this chapter. I guess that error is intentional then, just because JKR placed the Bloody Baron as existing at that time, so I just kind of went along with her pre-existing historical inaccuracy to coincide with HP canon more XD

Thanks so much for this wonderful review!! ♥


 Report Review

Review #8, by AbraxanUnicorn Chapter II

2nd April 2017:
The quest for flag number two continueth.

This is an exciting start to the second chapter! It's a few weeks since the future founders last united, and Godric finds himself in the thick of a muggle battle on his doorstep between the English and the Danes, and it doesn't sound as though things are exactly going swimmingly for poor Baron Edwin (would he be in that mess if only he'd worn something more practical than an outfit made of feathers, I wonder?). Godric, being the courageous and chivalrous founder we now know him to be, steps up to aid his friends. It's very noble of him not to want to use magic against the enemy, buthis wife, Laudine is right; why not use it defensively?

But, oh dear :( How quickly things can become unsavoury. Are we witnessing the moment where things really turned sour between muggles and magical folk?

I'm not surprised, once the battle is over, that the muggles decline any magical forms of healing; when they see someone blow up a field with a wand, would they really want to be treated by one?

Ahh, and now we arrive at the moment where Godric gets the idea for a school of witchcraft and wizardry. I really liked the scene set between the children and how Godric taught them how to produce butterflies.

I'm excited for the next chapter when hopefully, the founders will discuss the school in depth!

Brax X

Author's Response: Welcome back!

Yeah, things aren't going too well for him, in regards to the battle as well as his decision to wear a feathered tunic. :P I'm glad you pointed that out about Godric and Laudine - they are really quite different people but they respect one another's opposing views, which is kind of what I wanted to point out here with their disagreement about the ethics of wizard/muggle battles and whether or not it's fair to use magic. I can see the logic in both of their arguments, tbh!

There are probably many such moments :( I imagine it took a few hundred years of messy relations between magical and muggle, escalating until it finally drove the Statute of Secrecy into being at the height of witch burning.

exactly. Fear definitely is the basis of dislike in a lot of cases.

I'm so glad you liked that scene! Thank you!

Once again thanks so much for a lovely review! I appreciate it!


 Report Review

Review #9, by Dirigible_Plums Chapter I

2nd April 2017:
Hello!

I'm here on jailbreaking duty but what a lovely story to be reviewing for that purpose! I rarely read Founders fics (which I honestly don't understand because I'm a sucker for all thinge history) but this was really good!

Of course, it goes without saying that historical events would feature heavily in a Founders fic but I really liked that you had a focus on Muggle history since the International Statute of Secrecy doesn't exist at this point. Especially because you're talking about Vikings and I do have a bit of a soft spot for them (blame the show). So yes, it was really interesting to read about what is happening on the Muggle-side of things and how wizards might have influenced them, even unintentionally like how Lord Redwald's actions essentially had the King killed.

(Just out of curiosity, which kingdom is this set in? I'm not an expert in this area of history either so I don't have a clue.)

This chapter actually made me smile a little because I'm so used to thinking of the Founders as old and imposing figures whereas this reminded me that they were young once. Sneaking Rowena out of her house is such a teenage/young thing to do. It warmed my heart a little. Of course, knowing what I do know about the Founders broke it too. To think that Salazar and Gryffindor were best friends! To think that Rowena was in love with Salazar...

So yes, this was a lovely chapter to review for a jailbreak. I'm glad Brax chose it 😛

Plums xo
♡♡♡

Author's Response: Hi Plums! I'm glad to have drawn you into the world of Founders fics again, even if you don't read them that often :P

Thank you, I'm so glad you appreciated the actual historical events - as I saw it, without the Statute of Secrecy there'd be a lot more overlap between worlds, which is probably one of my favourite things about fic during this era. It's great to hear that you found it interesting and how each world influenced the other, thanks!

It begins in 978 AD, which is the year Edward was killed and Aethelred the Unready took the throne (I believe that's briefly alluded to in this chapter)... so, that kingdom, I guess? :P I'm not really sure what term historians use for it. The fic spans about 30 years though, so I'd just call it England pre-Norman conquest.

Haha, I know what you mean, that's kind of how I feel when I read stories about Dumbledore when he's young - like, it's easy to forget they were young once. I'm glad you appreciated that - makes these imposing figures a bit more relatable, maybe :P And I can't help including a bit of unrequited love :P

Thanks so much for the review! ♥


 Report Review

Review #10, by AbraxanUnicorn Chapter I

2nd April 2017:
Well, hello again! I'm looking for a flag to capture. It isn't somewhere in here, perchance?

I've never read a Founders story before, and I think it's high time I broke that duck :) Immediately, I'm drawn into this story by its wonderful, almost fairytale-esque beginning; a castle, robed lords and ladies, and suitors laden with gifts of jewels and poultry (I'd love it if someone tried to woo me with a chicken although, tbh, a diamond would make less mess).

For the young lady concerned, it must be a daunting prospect to choose a suitor based on his gifts and background. I suppose at least no-one is going to force her hand. I really hope it's not Lord Redwald, though, as he presents himself awfully.

I love the inclusion of muggle history - Aethelred the Unready - although my historical source (cough - Wiki - cough) seems to be undecided whether he was crowned king at ten or twelve years of age. I think he was preceded by his elder brother (Edward the Martyr) and not his father, though. Not that it matters, really.

I love the introduction of the four founder characters in this chapter. The potential love-angle between Rowena - Salazar - Maeve is potentially a very interesting one, and I'm keen to find how that all pans out. How Helga met Rowena remains a mystery that I cannot fathom; I'm trying to imagine the circumstances which brought two people from such different background together, and I'm struggling with that, TBH.

I love the part alluding to the history of flying broomsticks, and also the inclusion of the founders' prized possessions. Godric carrying a sword for no good reason made me giggle, as did the witch who turned seventy muggles into toadstools (even though I probably shouldn't laugh at that).

I thought this was a wonderful opening chapter, and I can't wait to read more!

Brax X

Author's Response: Hi there! How exciting to be reading your first founders story, and I'm honored that it's mine! I really love the era.

I'm so glad to hear the beginning draws you in. Hahaha, and yeah jewels are definitely much less of a mess than chickens XD

Yeah, I know arranged marriages were very common back then and really for the sake of beneficial alliances if the family was wealthy, but with so little canon about wizards in that time, I suppose I took some liberties. Doesn't make it any easier for Rowena though :p

I did want this fic to be as historically accurate as possible, though, so I did do a lot of research about the 10th century! I don't remember if I mentioned Edward by name in this anywhere, but yes, he was the king who died and whose half-brother took the throne after him (My source had said half-brother, but maybe you're right and he was just his brother. I imagine not all sources agree!)

I'm glad you like the introduction of the founders, as well! As for how Helga and Rowena became friends with such diferent backgrounds - all four of the founders are originally from such diferent places, but had to end up near enough to all meet one another. I imagine wizards were more mobile than Muggles just because of Apparition/other magical means, but at least here I figured that Helga moved into England from Wales when she got married, and settled near Rowena. What brought them together was magic and some shared interests, because probably not all of their social circles were wizards when they were all intermixed with Muggle society before the Statute of Secrecy. That's how I see it, anyway.

I'm so glad you enjoyed the bit about flying broomsticks as well! Apparently, according to Quidditch through the Ages, flying broomsticks were just taking off (lol pun totally intended) around that time so I had to include it!

Thanks so much for this wonderful review!


 Report Review

Review #11, by NPE Chapter I

14th November 2015:
Hello,

I am "Elderflowers" from the forum, though my pen name is NPE. Confusing I know. I am here for the review swap.

I really enjoyed your piece.

You know, it is really blooming hard to write a story such as this one. So even if it had been mediocre, I'd have given you a pretty positive review.

Some would be daunted by the period it is set in, others by the lack of JKR backstory to cling to. I admire your conviction for sure but imagining it your own way.

As it is not mediocre, I also have no choice but to happily give you a great review.

Your dialogue is terrific, you have clearly differentiated between characters, and they have specific, subtle turns of phrase that make them stand out.

Okay, some of the lines are obviously too modern for tenth century AD, and the overt references to Americanised perceptions of that era exist here, but the interplay between the founders is wonderful.

It also flows brilliantly, something that it is easy to say, but difficult to achieve.Will definitely browse through your back canon on the back of this.

And check out my story if you can, I know it is long, but erm, that's why I want someone to say where I may have gone wrong. No worries if you don't have the time, and just so you know, I wrote this review meaning everything I said. I didn't just give you a lot of praise so you'd flick through mine.



All the best,

NPE

Author's Response: Hi NPE! Thank you so much for the swap and for this lovely review!

I'm really glad to hear you enjoyed this chapter. Haha, you know, the period the story is set in was definitely a challenge but one that I enjoyed so much. I did a LOT of research for this story and learned so much as a result. And while there was little canon to cling to, it made for a lot of freedom in imagining the world within JKR's parameters.

It's really great to hear that you liked the dialogue as well. That was definitely the hardest aspect of the story - because as you pointed out, it's hard to keep it from sounding too modern. Tenth century English wasn't even really English as we would recognise it today. So while it's difficult to not make it sound too modern, there is a lot of leeway in it just because of how language has changed over time.

Thanks though, I'm glad you liked the distinctions between the characters as well! I wanted them to really personify what their houses are known for, but at the same time not have them be one-dimensional as a result.

As for 'overt references to Americanised perceptions of the era' - I would love to know what you mean here because I was definitely not trying for that. Do you have any specific examples? cos I'd like to fix it, if so! :)

I'm glad you like the flow of the story too, thanks!

I have looked at yours :) Sorry for the wait, I'm just a slow reviewer! Thanks so much for the swap.


 Report Review

Review #12, by Frankie05 Chapter I

14th August 2015:
Oh my goodness. I have never read a founder fic before and I am so glad I started this one. It makes me want to read more of them, and I definitely want to keep on reading this fic!

I like how you started this out with Ravenclaw! It's interesting to see her in her manor and her abundance. She is clearly so wise and these inferior men only wanting her for her money and she is not interested. It felt like I was reading Brave!

I like the butterfly feeling that she gets when she sees Salazar. It's so cute, but why isn't he at this gala? He is a pureblood? But he comes to her rescue and whisks her away to Helga's house. And then we meet Helga Hufflepuff and we also meet Godric Gryffindor. The way you described these four is spot on! They are the most of their attributes, but what I like most is that we see them with their past experiences and how they walk and what they say. It is the most beautiful of descriptions to see where these founders came from. Helga is married which is interesting. Gryffindor is a red head but strutts around. I love everything about this story! It's so great :)

I'm so excited to read more of it!

Frankie

Author's Response: Hi! Ah, I'm so glad you decided to read a Founders fic and that this story made you curious to read more! I absolutely love the era - the old-fashioned feel of it, the difference from that era and modern day, and the way it intertwines with history. I love history and had so much fun working that in. Enough of my rambling though...

Thanks, I'm glad you liked the way this started and the characterization of Rowena. Haha, I'd never associated it with Brave but I can see why it would make you think of that :P

Salazar isn't at the gala because he wasn't invited. He's only visiting in town and isn't familiar with the Lord and Lady Ravenclaw. (Also, because I just didn't think about that :P ) Ah, and I'm so glad you like the characterization of the four Founders. It was really fun writing them - making them really exemplify what their house is known for - both the good and the bad aspects of it, as will be seen later on. And yeah Helga is married - in this time period it was pretty standard for women to be married young.

I'm so thrilled you enjoyed this first chapter, and excited that you want to read on! I hope you enjoy the rest :) This was such a wonderful review and really made me smile, thank you so much!! ♥


 Report Review

Review #13, by Shadowkat Chapter IV

19th June 2015:
Here, slightly late, for our swap!

Interesting chapter. I like how you included the farming season as the time to let the students off, as well as the thought they were putting into classes. However, there were a few things that bugged me.

First, I agree with a lot of what Hogwarts27 said. The dialog seemed a bit choppy, and some of the events seemed not to fit with the time period. As you probably noticed, my story doesn't always use old English dialog, and some things, like a bookstore, wouldn't have fit. The latter was more of a slip (creative liberty card. It's in published novels, I have an excuse! XD). But the former is more for the sake of flow. It's easier to read and sometimes old language puts people off. I also, like their review said, didn't understand the reaction with the snake when magic in general was seen as the work of the devil. Especially with how much she seemed to care for him before.

However, overall I liked it. JustJustbe careful with a few things. :)

Author's Response: Hey :) Thanks, I'm glad you found it interesting and that you liked the agricultural basis for the school seasons - it seemed pretty natural for the time period.

The dialogue used to be a lot more modern and I got a lot of comments about it being too modern, and I eventually changed much of it to be slightly more archaic. Maybe you would have liked it beforehand, but to me the modernness didn't really fit in this story. I'm sorry you thought it was too choppy. But either way, medieval Anglo-Saxon English was nothing like the language we speak today and so pretty much any style of writing can be believable, haha! :P Which events didn't fit the time period? I didn't think I wrote a bookstore in there... As for the snake, serpents were seen as evil and sinful in those times (as Christianity first began to gain a foothold in Britain) and so Salazar's connection to them really scared Maeve. Magic on it's own wasn't much of a deal in those days, not until a couple of centuries later at any rate.

Thanks for your review!


 Report Review

Review #14, by Elfwynn  Chapter II

18th June 2015:
Hello! I kept on reading...

Great chapter! I really got a feel for the era in which the story is set. I love how you have worked the conflict with the invading Danelaw into the storyline it really frames the time period and sets the tone.

I like the way you have portrayed both Rowena and Godricís internal conflicts over their sense of duty. Again this seems to reflect the backdrop of conflict and rebellion against the invading forces. I also loved the sense of irony portrayed (in the first chapter) by the way that Rowena escaped from her duties by jumping out the window, having just criticised the lord for hiding from the invaders and not doing what she perceived to be Ďhis duty.í

The irony now, is that the muggle neighbours called on those with magic to save them in the battle but are then suspicious of magicís ability to heal. I like the way this is used to frame how muggles are ultimately weary of the wizarding population; magic is a force for destruction but not for healing.

It is interesting to see how the self assurance of Helga and Godric balances out Rowena and Salazarís conflicted personalities respectively. The story so far forms some interesting situational, intellectual and character based binaries.

I canít wait to read more.

Many thanks for the swap!
Elfy

Author's Response: Hi! Wow, thank you - I really appreciate that you kept on reading! I'm so glad to hear that you liked the historical context and how it was woven in - it's really wonderful to hear that it helps set the scene and that you liked how it frames the era.

I love what you've pointed out about the irony about sense of duty - I hadn't thought of it in those terms but you're so right, haha. She was doing exactly what she criticized that lord for doing - although she might have argued that she had better reasons. :P

I really like your analysis of the Muggles' opinion of magic as well - they don't understand it as well and see the destructive side and how it can help them, but when it isn't helping them any more, people get uncomfortable with it.

Thanks, I'm really glad you like the characterisation so far and the different ways they interact with situations. I am loving your analysis of this so far! Thanks for such a thoughtful review, and for the swap!! ♥


 Report Review

Review #15, by Elfwynn Chapter I

18th June 2015:
Great Chapter!

So this is set in one of my favourite periods of history (as you might be able to tell from my penname!) I love how you have set up the social, romantic and economic backgrounds for the founders. I also like the way that you have developed upon historic events in the storyline. Including the raids and conflicts with the invading Danelaw in the plot development really helps to gives a clearer understanding of the formulation and contextualisation of the wizarding world at this time.

Iím definitely going to read more!
Elfy

Author's Response: Hi! Aw, thank you so much - I'm thrilled that you liked this! It is such a fascinating era of history, I love it as well, and I'm glad you liked how the background was all set up. I did a lot of research because I wanted it to be as historically accurate as possible, so I'm glad you appreciated the Danish raids and how it impacted the wizarding world.

Thanks so much for your review!


 Report Review

Review #16, by Princesss Chapter IV

31st May 2015:
Hi there Marauderfan, I decided to opt to review your founders story just because it's my favourite era. I also decided to review the first slytherin chapter as that is my house and I thought I could give the most insight to it.

I really enjoyed reading this part of the story so far. It's great that you've explored the option of what caused Salazar to dislike muggle borns so much. I liked the twist that he fell in love with a muggle as it is a scenario I never would have considered myself. You made me feel sad that it ended the way it did between them but it fits with what we know and I love it overall.

Not only that but you also explored the making of the 'structure' of Hogwarts which I personally think is amazing. I find it enjoyable that it was a long process that led to what we know today rather than having it all set up from the get go. I enjoyed the aspect of the meeting with them as it kind of was a perfect way to show their different personalities while interacting with each other. The 'twist' with Rowena having feelings for Salazar is one I have considered myself and I whole-heartedly agree with. For some reason I cannot help but ship them and I plan to explore their relationship in my own founder fic.

Overall the writing is great. At times it could do with improving but only so that the flow of it became easier, though it enables me to really get into the mind of Salazar whatever. A great story and I cannot wait to read more.

Author's Response: Hi! I'm so glad you stopped by! And I'm super glad to hear that you are a fellow appreciator of the Founders era - there really aren't enough of us out there :p

Slytherin's POV was a really interesting one to write, as he has the most dynamic storyline of the four and changes a lot on the inside but very little outwardly. I'm glad you liked the plot of him and Maeve. I figured it had to be something personal for him to have such an extreme reaction about it all in the end with what we know from canon.

I'm really glad you liked the construction part too - I've been surprised by the reaction to that. Who knew construction was so fascinating! But YES - that feeling of a long process is exactly what I was going for, because something as revolutionary as Hogwarts had no precedents and wouldn't be easy at all to set up from the start. They had to figure things out as they went along. Ahaha, and I'm glad you like Rowena's feelings for Salazar. I do love writing a ship that's sinking from the start! :p But they do have a lot in common and really *could* have had potential. Oh well. :p

I'm so glad you're enjoying this so far! Thanks so much for the review!! ♥


 Report Review

Review #17, by The Lady of Love Chapter VIII

23rd May 2015:
NOO IT'S OVER =(

I would like to write this entire review in caps lock because I am having so many feels right now but I shall do this like a civilised person. THIS WAS A GREAT CHAPTER AND AN OVERALL AMAZING STORY.

I am glad I read this. You captured the personalities of the four founders really well and showed the events impressively. Your narrative was very strong and the descriptions were just great.

This last chapter definitely tied in the loose ends and it was sweet how it ended with Helga's narration and a little hope that maybe the school would outlive them. And it did. It was so bittersweet.

Oh and I also liked the entry of Peeves here. It was a nice little detail. The row between Salazar and the others, particularly Godric, was well-written. Again, a very heartbreaking scene perfectly executed.

All in all, I have had a great time reading this story. Your writing talent is amazing. Congrats on finishing this story. Great work!

Lots of love
xoxo

Author's Response: IT'S OKAY I LOVE CAPS LOCK TOO

Thank you for all of your kind words! I am really honored to hear that this was such a touching chapter and gave you all the feels. And wah, thank you for calling this story amazing! You are amazing too! I just wish I knew who you actually are so I can thank you properly!

Thank you so much, it's so great to hear that you liked the portrayals of the four founders and the events lesding up to Hogwarts' creation and eventual division of the founders.

So glad this tied up the loose ends as well - I tried to fit every canon fact about the Founders into this story and it's great to hear it all tied together nicely. Bittersweet endings are my favorite and despite how everything fell apart, I wanted to point out that they did succeed as we know Hogwarts still stands a thousand years later.

Peeves! I couldn't resist. With all the sad events, the chapter needed a little balance ;) I'm glad you thought the row was well written too - I figured that despite how strong the opinions and anger on both sides, they'd still be devastated to see him leave because 20+ years of friendship don't just go away.

Thank you so much!!! Your reviews have been so wonderful to read and I appreciate every word! ♥♥


 Report Review

Review #18, by The Lady of Love Chapter VII

23rd May 2015:
NO! MY HEART IS BROKEN! WHAT A SAD CHAPTER! SO MANYF FEELS! GHOSH YOU'RE AN AWESOME WRITER.

Okay, back to coherency, this was absolutely heart-wrenching. Poor Elaine and Morgan, and poor, poor Salazar =(

What happened was definitely awful. It was indeed the last straw for Salazar, he just could not bear Muggles anymore, and now I don't blame him for it. The Muggles literally took away everything from him. And the appearance of Maeve was indeed a very interesting touch to top it all off.

Your writing is just amazing. Your concept and backstory behind why Salazar would hate Muggles, create the Chamber, raise the Basilisk and become so bitter is very well-crafted. It is totally on point and something I can imagine happening.

This was an exciting, interesting and very sad chapter. You've written the events perfectly and I'm curious to see how things end. Great chapter, great story, and I'm very very invested in this so if you don't know already, I loved it. Great work!

Love
xoxo

Author's Response: I AM SO SORRY FOR BREAKING YOUR HEART! AND THANK YOU OMG.

I really felt bad heaping all of these misfortunes on Salazar, as he'd already had enough bad luck so far. But it really needed to be something ter√ā¬ērible to push him over the edge and prompt him to the extreme of releasing a monster in the school to kill people. And I really was hoping to show him in a sympathetic light despite all the horrible things he does as a result - it's definitely not a black and white sort of issue, so I'm kind of glad to hear you say you didn't blame him for it!

Gah, thank you! I really appreciate all your incredibly kind compliments about my writing ♡ I'm glad Salazar's story feels very on point and realistic, thanks.

I am thrilled that to hear that this chapter was so engaging and that you're so invested in the story. You are seriously so kind! Thank you for your review!!


 Report Review

Review #19, by The Lady of Love Chapter VI

23rd May 2015:
First off, I have to say how well researched this story is. You have put a lot of thought into it and that shows. I really admire your writing skills and your creativity here.

The game of Creaothceann is very amusing and funny and I'm wondering how you came up with it. Sounds like fun, haha. I also liked how you subtly introduced the whole Baron-Helena quotient here. Little details like these really make the story so enjoyable for me.

Things were sailing pretty smoothly in this chapter and I liked that. You captured the normalcy of life quite well here and there was a realistic touch. The descriptions were, as usual, very good and I am enjoying the narrative. This is a great story and I can't wait to read more!

Love
xoxo

Author's Response: Thank you! I actually loved doing all the research as I think history is so fascinating, especially this time period, and it was really cool to learn more about it as I didn't know that much about it before I started writing this fic. And wow, you're making me blush :p Thank you so much, it really means a lot to me that you like my writing style and creativity. I'm flattered.

Creaothceann is not actually my own invention, it's from the brilliant JKR's Quidditch Through the Ages. I thought it sounded hilarious and the time period fit so I wrote it into the story! I'm glad you like the introduction of the Baron and Helena in here. I'm a details person too (in writing anyway) and I'm so glad you enjoyed their appearance here. As you know, they do get more time to shine later on.

That was exactly the purpose of this chapter, to show everything running smoothly the way they intended, essentially their dream come to fruition before everything inevitably goes downhill in the end. So glad you are enjoying it!!



 Report Review

Review #20, by The Lady of Love Chapter V

23rd May 2015:
This was an amusing little chapter. I enjoyed how the four Founders came up with Hat. You went along with canon very well and gave it your own spin at the same time. I enjoyed the hat's sassiness, haha.

I also liked how you continued to build up on Salazar's resentment for the Muggles and continue to show its growth. The little details really add to the depth of the plot.

Things are of course moving a little quickly but I am enjoying the pace nonetheless. You're not dragging things out and that's good. Salazar's marriage was a pleasant surprise and now Rowena is getting married too. I guess a good story always has a little tragic underlying unrequited love.

All in all, another brilliant chapter that I enjoyed reading. Great stuff!

Love
xoxo

Author's Response: Thanks! I tried to incorporate all the little canon details that I could, because there's not a whole lot of canon stuff to work with in that era in the first place. Haha, i really have no idea how the hat ended up so sassy - it kind of wrote itself that way!

Salazar, as you know, never really gets over that grudge. He's not the type to forgive easily and it just sticks with him, even though he isn't always vocal about it.

This section does hop around a bit in time, especially as the next chapter is like 16 years later (I think?) but most of the interim of Hogwarts finally running smoothly didn't really contribute much else to the plot. Besides, I think marriages were often arranged quite quickly back then. And yes. I'm a sucker for unrequited love in stories :p

Thanks so much for another lovely review! Also, this was the 100th review on this story which is really exciting so thanks for that!


 Report Review

Review #21, by The Lady Of Love Chapter IV

23rd May 2015:
Oh dear no, poor Salazar. I can't believe Maeve left him just because he could speak to snakes. I fail to understand why it would be such a big issue for her though - was it really believed in olden British times that snakes belong to the "devil"?

What happened was definitely sad but it brought the twist that the plot was headed in - Salazar hating Muggles. It makes sense to have developed this bitterness after being betrayed twice. You showed the situation realistically, good job.

I loved this chapter the most so far as it held Salazar's point of view and I enjoyed reading it. The descriptions were rich and there was some interesting insight. The time jumps over the story are also smoothly done and all the chapters and the narrative is flowing smoothly. I am liking the story and I'm curious to see how you deal with the upcoming events.

Great job as usual! Loving the story and loved this chapter!

Love xoxo

Author's Response: Poor Salazar indeed :( The reason it affected Maeve so badly was because serpents were representative of evil and sin in the Bible and this time period was when Christianity was really starting to gain a foothold in Britain, and medieval religion was quite strict. So it was just a misunderstanding between them that ruined them :(

I'm glad you liked the way it turned the plot though. Salazar might have gotten over the first time years ago as attributing those actions to a particular group of Muggles, but now with Maeve betraying his love, then his bitterness and hate are extended to all Muggles.

I'm thrilled you like Salazar's POV! His was probably the most interesting to write of the four because he changes so much and his opinions are so strong. I'm so glad to hear you like the descriptions and the way the narrative flows. Thank you so much!!


 Report Review

Review #22, by The Lady of Love Chapter III

23rd May 2015:
Don't you say this chapter wasn't exciting! It was in fact very, very exciting! I loved how you wrote the building process of the Hogwarts castle. Your descriptions were marvellous and I could really visualise it all. The idea that so many groups, from giants to house-elves, came together to build the school is indeed very creative and heartwarming. That is officially my head canon now too xD

What I loved about this chapter was the simplicity in Helga's thoughts. She is so dedicated, so thorough and so thoughtful - you've characterised her wonderfully. I liked how the four founders were working together here towards the school and how Helga played her part in the process.

The concept of them having a little struggle and little things still requiring some figuring out is quite realistic and it's good you showed that here. I am also enjoying the small details slipped into the narrative and discovering more of the founders' personalities as each chapter passes by.

Great job over all. I am really liking the story. Lots of love for you!

Author's Response: Haha, I should probably remove that A/N as I really didn't anticipate how many people would find the construction process exciting :p I think this was one of my favorite chapters overall to write though, because I really got to go back to the source of all these quirks that Hogwarts has and come up with the story behind it all. I think that Helga, as the person who was known for accepting basically anyone into her Hogwarts house, would probably know people from all walks of life and encouraged cooperation of all types of people (and house elves and giants) to build the castle. Aw! I'm flattered that this has become your headcanon!!

I'm so glad you like Helga's POV here. I think Hufflepuff is easily the most overlooked house and I wanted to give Hufflepuff qualities a chance to shine here, where I think she would have been really important.

I'm glad you appreciated their struggle in figuring out how to make it all go smoothly. For a project that big and groundbreaking, I couldn't imagine it all going by without any issues, so I'm glad this felt real to you.

Thanks for anoher fantastic review!! ♥


 Report Review

Review #23, by The Lady of Love Chapter II

23rd May 2015:
Another awesome chapter! I loved how you've used different point of views in different chapters. I loved getting an insight into the events from Godric's thoughts here!

It was interesting how you cultivated the idea of bringing about Hogwarts here. The concept of Muggles and Wizards living together in peace but then turning on each other due to the war is very believable - and I think true to canon to some extent. You've done a brilliant job of portraying the scenario.

I am honestly hooked to the story - your descriptions are, you have a very interesting plot and I'm very eager to read on how the story shapes up. Definitely moving on to the next chapter(s)! I am glad I got to be your Secret Spring Santa and picked this story to read.

LOVING IT!

Author's Response: Thank you! This story was my first attempt at rotating POV's (and actually my first try at third person perspective, as well!)

It's really good to hear that the way the idea of Hogwarts came about seemed natural. As this was centuries before the Statute of Secrecy, I didn't think magical folk would be so removed from Muggle society yet, but foreign invaders would be a likely impetus to start driving them apart.

Wah, thank you! I'm so, so glad you are enjoying this and that you're invested in how things turn out! I'm really happy you're my Secret Spring Santa too. :) Thanks so much for your review. ♥


 Report Review

Review #24, by The Lady of Love Chapter I

23rd May 2015:
Hello my dear, I am back! If you haven't guessed already, I'm your Secret Spring Santa and I'm passing along some love.

This is a very interesting story. I have not read much of Founders' era but you did a good job here. I am not expert on the historical times either but to me, this narrative was very well done and nicely aligned with the era. Your writing style is very engaging and I am enjoying the story.

Your characterisations of the four founders are quite interesting and I'm curious to see how things proceed. I like your Rowena and it's cute how you've a thing going on between her and Salazar. This chapter, being the first, certainly provided a good deal of back story to help set up the plot so good job!

I wonder how the two will come around to the idea of Hogwarts and how the relationship between Salazar and Rowena progresses. It's also interesting that Salazar is in love with a Muggle woman - I wonder what will happen next and how does this love turn to hatred for all Muggles.

Great story! Keep writing! I shall be reading the next chapter(s) soon =)

Author's Response: Aaah! This was the most wonderful surprise to see all of your reviews when I logged in today! Thank you so much, you really went above and beyond and this was so kind of you ♡

I'm really glad to hear you liked the story and that the style was engaging and the characters interesting, as I was hoping to give the founders the strong characteristics their houses are known for, but also make them three dimensional and real. I'm glad you liked the dynamics of Rowena's feelings for Salazar as well as Salazar's love for a Muggle.

Thank you so, so much for your review(s)!! I will be responding to the other ones soon :)


 Report Review

Review #25, by Flower n Prongs Chapter I

19th April 2015:
Hello! I am here to leave a review tag review.

I have a history degree, but I admit I know next to nothing about 10th century Britain so if there are glaring mistakes in this for the time period, they have gone right over my head. One thing I did notice was that you used names that are more old-fashioned, such as Maeve and Cadoc, so even if they were not commonly in use at that time or in that area they feel like they fit in with the others.

So far, I am enjoying your characterizations of all four founders. The fact that you had Rowena making a lot of witty comments and making sure you did not just show her as "smart" was a nice thing for her character. Having Helga having recently moved would be a bit unrealistic if she was a Muggle, but who is to say that a witch and wizard could not move around as much as they pleased? The discussion between the two women about brooms was amusing, knowing how big brooms would become later.

The fact that you have given Salazar a reason to have disliked Muggles to begin with and now being interested in a Muggle is a very interesting twist! Seeing that relationship fail/go downhill (I am assuming) will certainly have a big impact on his future. As for Godric Gryffindor, having him armed with his sword and appearing brash was very similar to how I pictured him.

I enjoyed reading this, even though I am usually not as drawn to Founders fics. I will delve on further in the future. =)

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks for stopping by! :)

I'm glad to hear at least there are no glaringly obvious historical mistakes, haha. It's wonderful to hear that the names of the original characters in this fit right in with the canon ones, as well!

Thank you, I'm so glad you enjoy the characterisations of the founders so far - and I love what you pointed out about Rowena. True, she is intelligent, but she does appreciate wit (after all, that's engraved on her diadem! I like to think that the legend of it greatly exaggerated its power, and it's actually a diadem that makes the wearer capable of making really witty puns. Omg, new parody fic idea. But I digress.)

I think it wouldn't be too implausible for people to move to new places - particularly for reasons like getting married or something. But yes, definitely easier for magical folk than for Muggles! I'm glad you enjoyed their discussion of the brooms as well.

Salazar, I've always thought, had the potential for a really interesting back story to make him into the person history remembers, and this is my interpretation of how he got there. I'm glad you are interested in his particular story and the Muggle who has caught his eye. As for what happens, my lips are sealed!

I'm so glad you enjoyed this fic so far, despite you not normally going for Founders fics. Thanks so much for your kind review!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>