Reading Reviews for Logarithmic
  
28 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderfan (3)

23rd October 2013:
Hello! Great chapter. I like seeing Eloise's interactions with Professor Sprout, and I love her friendship with Neville! I think it's quite realistic as well. I could totally see Neville as a Hufflepuff if he wasn't a Gryffindor, and he seems to get on really well with Eloise at least.

I really enjoy the two POV's. Cormac's is pretty funny. Eloise's introduction by way of embarrassing him, was great. Someone needs to take him down a notch anyway, and Eloise has a kind of quiet, unassuming way of doing exactly that.

Aw, thanks for the special mention in your author's note, you're so sweet! ♥ Lovely chapter and I'll be back to read the next whenever it's posted :)

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm really happy you liked the interactions in this chapter! I think Eloise identifies with Neville because he's slightly excluded and Eloise feels like that too. Even though she has her friends, being HP does lead to a strong sense of isolation, and her relationship with Neville works because they respect the other's need to leave questions unanswered.

Cormac definitely needs to be taken down a notch! More of that will happen, fear not.

Thank you for such a lovely review, I'm really sorry I didn't answer earlier! ♥


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Review #2, by soufflegirl99 (3)

19th October 2013:
I am so pleased that you added another chapter on Log! I love it almost as much as Lockhart loves himself!! :)

I love the way Eloise is friends with Neville, that is so sweet, and their friendship made me squeal. I loved the characterisation you put in too, it made the characters so much more believable, and the description really paints a picture in your head. I loved the thoughts of Cormac, he's so egotistical, but you write his thoughts and feelings amazingly well. It's so realistic!

I liked the way you included some teachers in there too! I'm personally rooting for some reference/anecdote to Umbridge action in DADA as a terrible teacher in the fifth year, but it was fun seeing them in two perfectly described lessons. I liked the way their dialogue was flung back and forth, I can tell they both kind of have this banter going, and natural chemistry going on, that I LOVE!

The plot is going at a nice steady pace, and it's intriguing to read, and I enjoyed the way you split up the points of view, it made it more gripping! The dialogue is perfect for each character, by the way, I loved Slughorns "m'boy." I can;t wait to see how you tackle Snape as a professor hahah! :D

Overall, another fantastic chapter that was as gripping and awesome as always! I love it!


Sophie :D

Author's Response: You truly must love Log very much then!

I'm so happy you like Eloise and Neville! I can genuinely see them as friends, and possibly more if there wasn't Cormac in the picture now... Cormac is such a horribly fun character to write, expect more egotism soon, and lots of it.

Ooh, you just gave me an idea! Mentions of Umbridge may appear, just you wait...

SNAPE. Um. How about never, ever, ever? It's something I hadn't about, and it terrifies me to write him, so we'll see, I suppose.

UGH THANK YOU FOR BEING SO FABAROONEY ALL THE TIME ♥


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Review #3, by AlmostInvisible  (3)

18th October 2013:
This fic is great! I like how you're using canon characters that are so often forgotten. To be honest, it took me a second to remember Eloise Midgeon at all. Anyway, I have decided that I like this story and plan on keeping up with it. Fantabulous job! :)

Author's Response: Thank you! Eloise is fun to write because there is so much bare canvas to work on. I'm very happy you're enjoying the story so far :)

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Review #4, by TheHouseElf (2)

1st September 2013:
Last chapter that I needed to catch up on! Huzzah :D

I love how separate Cormac and Eloise's lives are at this moment. They are completely different people who probably never had a chance or never wanted to interact before. But you have teased us Val, you've teased us cruelly with a tiny look at what is to come, and you've set up the basis for another encounter brilliantly with the handkerchief (Do people actually have those? I've never met anyone with an embroidered handkerchief in my life, though I'll admit it seems like a pretty cool thing to have in your pocket).

I really want to see more of Eloise and Cormac, so you'd better get onto that next chapter :D

And thanks for the mention! YOU'RE AWESOME TOO!

Author's Response: AISHA I HAVE MISSED YOU AND YOU ARE WONDERUL OKAY.

You are so right about their lives being separated and them being completely different people. When I write this, I generally have at least one moment where I stop, glare at the screen and wonder /why/ I started writing such an unprobable pairing.

So it really makes me happy that you want to see more of Eloise and Cormac because if it wasn't for people like you I wouldn't be writing this in the first place.

Yes, people actually have those! It's a very bourgeois thing to have, so I assumed it'd work for Purebloods too -- I'm sure Draco Malfoy even has his initials embroidered on his socks, no? ;)

IT WAS NO PROBLEM, THANK YOU AGAIN SO MUCH ♥


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Review #5, by patronus_charm (2)

22nd August 2013:
Hi, Val! Look at me, getting all excited with a new review thread and doing them quickly!

I liked Helen Midgeon's characterisation. She seemed to be quite a domineering woman so I can see why Eloise may have become shy from growing up with her. The only tiny thing I would suggest is that she seemed a bit too similar to Molly Weasley, so if she appears in the future try to give her more unique characteristics and then she'll be great!

I can really see why she won the People Person Diadem as she has this lovely air about which just makes me want to spend time with her! She has these great internal monologues too, which really draw you in and get to know her.

One small thing, I felt that Eloise was a little too detached when Susan started crying about her. I understand it's a person she doesn't know, I guess I would have just liked to have seen more warmth there as it was just Susan talking and Eloise standing there. So maybe just a small line like 'are you ok blah blah blah'. :)

The way you introduce all of Eloise's friends is really good. Though we know them from Harry's perspective you put a fresh spin on them and made them Eloise's if that makes sense. I can't wait to get to know them even more!

I never imagined there to be a Hufflepuff with evil thoughts! That made me laugh a lot, and I'm beginning to feel sorry for poor old Neville who ended up married to Hannah. Again, I really liked what you did here by putting a spin on the Hufflepuff cliche.

Ah, man, just this one line 'Why?' made me laugh so much! I don't even know why, I just think that paired with his egotistical thoughts had me cracking up as it was just so him. I liked how you made him face another injury as it tied in with him eating those Doxy Eggs. I have a feeling this is going to be a long-running joke!

So that was their first meeting? I really liked it as I hadn't imagined it to be like that! I'm eager to see what Cormac ends up doing with this handkerchief!

Other than those few minor areas, I thought this was a really great chapter and I can't wait to see what happens next :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hello, Kiana!

You thinking Helen is like Molly has absolutely made my day, because Helen is originally based off my mother. I'll try to make her more distinct as a character in the future though!

Aw, I'm happy you like Eloise! Following your advice, I tried to make her more present as a friend when Susan started crying, so thank you for pointing that out.

I'm having visions of Neville being bossed around by Hannah now, but don't worry too much, she's still a fundamentally nice person (who just happens to bite if you nag her too much)!

Cormac is SO unbelievably cocky, I can only ever write him for short time spans because otherwise I start getting murderous tendencies. I'm glad his injuries made you laugh, because yes, there will be some more!

Thank you so much for this lovely review and for your useful tips :)


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Review #6, by marauderfan (2)

2nd August 2013:
Hooray for random story-finding! Ok, so I have to admit the thing that drew me in was the pairing. I was like "This is the weirdest ship ever, I have to read it." :p Anyway, I love Hogwarts-era stories told by other viewpoints than Harry's. And I really like how you've characterised Eloise! She hardly gets a mention in the books - and even then, it's not a particularly nice one, just Ron's opinion when he's 14 and concerned with appearances. Anyway, I like your description of her, she seems very realistic, she's just a normal teenage girl dealing with all the issues that come with being a teenager, like acne, or how her friend spends time with another friend who she gets jealous of... she's so relatable.

The other Hufflepuffs are wonderful! Especially Hannah, how she started out very naive and sweet, and has become a cynic. I love the way you've described their friendship, and I look forward to reading more about them!

Oh and Cormac McLaggen. I hated him in the books! He's just as dislikeable here, but since it's from his perspective he's not quite as bad, if that makes sense. He's quite amusing in this, actually. I really, really can't wait to see Cormac and Eloise's next interaction. I don't think Eloise would put up with him for long! :P

You've done a fantastic job with this story so far and I'm really eager to read more, I cant wait to see where you take this.

Author's Response: And hooray for random reviews! This one made me smile like an idiot when I saw it.

It really is a weird ship, I don't even remember how I came up with it :P

What I really love about Eloise is that she was a direct witness of (almost) everything we know from the books, but there's so little we know about her that there's all the room one might want to develop her as a person.

Yay, I'm glad you found the characters realistic and that you like Hannah! And I'm immensely flattered that Cormac is more tolerable here. As for his next interaction with Eloise, just you wait -- chapter three should be up reasonably soon!

Thank you so much for reviewing :)


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Review #7, by nott theodore (2)

1st August 2013:
Okay, how have I missed the fact that you updated with a new chapter on this story?! This review definitely wouldn't have been so late if I had realised, I promise!

I love how original the idea for this story is! I don't think I've ever read a story focusing mainly on the Hogwarts era Hufflepuffs, and it's great to see them brought to life as likable people. And of course, the pairing of Cormac and Eloise - that's one I'd never have thought of but reading this story I'm already starting to ship them!

Your characters are so real. It's a pleasure to read about them, even if there wasn't actually much action in this chapter; I felt like I got to know Eloise and her friends well and they're all really believable. The dialogue between all the characters sounds very natural as well, particularly the opening with Eloise's mother warning her about staying out of trouble.

The only thing that confused me a little in this chapter was the mention of Oscar - I'm assuming he's the pet kneazle mentioned in the last chapter, but it might help to make that a little clearer.

I want to be friends with Eloise, actually! I liked the background about how she came to be friends with Susan and then Hannah, especially the fact that she was jealous of Hannah to begin with. I think that a lot of stories tend to characterise all Hufflepuffs as the same sort of person, but each of the girls have their own personality here, although they still fit into their house. Another element I liked was the gradual change that Eloise has been able to see in Hannah over the years - I can imagine her as the sort of person who goes on to fight with Harry and become the landlady of the Leaky Cauldron.

Cormac's introduction was brilliant! "Cormac McLaggen was having a foul first day back." I like the fact that he's clearly still the character that we see in the books, and you haven't erased all his faults so that he becomes this perfect guy that Eloise will immediately swoon over. He was already exaggerating what had happened and feeling sorry for himself rather than acknowledging his own mistakes. Then the fact that he clearly expected Eloise to be besotted by him and return fitted so well with his arrogance. And now he seems to be seeking a second meeting because she's one of the girls who hasn't fallen at his feet... I'm so intrigued to see how their relationship will develop through this story!

This was a fantastic chapter, and I hope the next one will be up soon (and sorry for the time it took for me to review this)!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Sian! Thank you so much for stopping by again!

One of the things I don't like about the books is how little 'screen time' is given to characters out of Gryffindor. We see things only through Harry's point of view, which considerably limits things, so it's a lot of fun to try and fill in the missing moments, especially with a Hufflepuff main character considering that they're the house we see the least of.

Aw, I'm so happy you think the characters sound real! It's the best thing you could say to make me happy.

Oscar is the Kneazle, yes. When I add a chapter image, I'll make sure to edit that.

Hufflepuffs do seem to often be categorised as meek, always happy people, don't they? It's as if people forget Tonks was a Hufflepuff too, and Tonks was certainly not meek.

Oh, Cormac. He's such an arrogant person that sometimes I just sit in front of my screen wondering what pushed me to choose to write him. I'm pretty sure that if we met in real life, we wouldn't get along very well!

I'm hoping to get chapter three up quite soon, yes! Thank you so much for leaving me another of your fabulous reviews :)


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Review #8, by ephemerals (1)

19th July 2013:
Hey, Val! I'm here for our Review Swap :)

This is a great first chapter! Even if it is short, I feel like it introduced Eloise quite well. It actually took me a few seconds to remember Eloise, and I'm really liking your portrayal of her - really realistic and obviously not perfect. I felt quite sorry for her, and I'm pretty apologetic over how much I laughed at those creative insults - they were great (even if they were mean, but still). She's relatable and seems like a really, really nice girl, and I can't wait to read more of her story.

I have to admit, I'm terribly jealous of your writing style. There's no problems with flow here at all, and apart from one mistake - "I thought babies were supposed to be cute - until when can we send this one back?" - with a possibly misplaced 'until', the chapter is fantastic! I'm really adoring this story and will definitely be reading on to see what happens :) Great job.

- Jenni

Author's Response: Hey Jenni!

I purposely chose Eloise because we know near to nothing about her -- more space for me to be creative! Laughing over the insults is alright, I did too and that was kind of the point, as horrible as that makes me sound. I'm really happy you like Eloise :)

I'm definitely editing that line as soon as I access a computer (though I have no idea when that'll be).


Thank you so much for the lovely review :(


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Review #9, by True Author (2)

17th July 2013:
Hey!
This was longer and good! We are finally getting into the plot with Eloise meeting Cormac. =]
You know what? I HATED Cormac back in Half Blood Prince. Surprisingly, you make him sound better than the books to me. May it be his characterization or the plot you've set up. =]
I'm intrigued but I have a question. You described Eloise as ugly (rude but she was) and the girl on the banner and the CI looks pretty. :P I know I sound nitpicky but I couldn't figure it out. =]

Author's Response: Ack I feel really flattered that you preferred my Cormac! He is still going to be arrogant, of course, but I hope to make him likeable.

I don't find it nitpicky, your question makes a lot of sense. In my head, Eloise was quite ugly, but once she managed to get rid of her spots and got past what I like to call 'the years of doom', she became quitd pretty, kind of like in the story of the ugly duckling?

Thank you for the review!


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Review #10, by True Author (1)

17th July 2013:
Hi Val!

This is a great start. I have a thing for unusual ships and unexplored characters as long as they are canon, so I decided to go through this. =] It's wonderful!
Eloise Midegeon is really hard to write I think. Though she isn't really in the books she sounds silly and hungry for beauty. But I liked this version of her character.
Good job!

Ashwini =]

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm glad you liked my take on Eloise even though in the books she really doesn't come across as the most appealing character.

Thank you for the review :)


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Review #11, by academica (2)

15th July 2013:
Val! I've missed seeing you around--I guess that's due to exams, so I hope they're over soon! I'm just dropping by to leave you a little House Cup love :)

I love how you gave personalities to characters that we don't get to know very well in canon, especially with some of them being Hufflepuffs. It was interesting that you used Susan's experience to really show how dark things had become and how average people were trying to just cope with it all. I also kind of liked how Hannah wasn't all sunshine and roses; the dark characterization was interesting. I could see your Hannah and Neville having a serious conversation about what they thought of the war and everything that was lost.

I liked how you described the Hufflepuff common room, too. Again, not something I see much in fic. Your characterization of Eloise makes her seem like she belongs in Hufflepuff--although she was a Gryffindor in canon, right? Anyway, I like your version :) It's nice to see Hufflepuff characters written with real problems just like in other Houses.

Eloise's first meeting with Cormac was really cute. I love how much his personality contrasts with hers, and I'm sure the development of their pairing will be very interesting to observe. Did you mention her working in the Hospital Wing in chapter one? I must have forgotten about it.

Great job! Hope to see another chapter soon!

Amanda
Ravenclaw
House Cup: Event 6.2


Author's Response: Exams are over! I just haven't got computer access, so updating is a bit difficult...

From canon, we know Hannah became the owner of the Leaky Cauldron, and I couldn't imagine a meek, sunshine-and-daisies character taking on that role. I'm glad you thought it worked!

It's not actually confirmed what house Eloise was in, and some sources have her placed in Hufflepuff. I put her there partly because she's further away from the Golden Trio, but also because it suits how I see her better.

I did not mention her working in the Hospital Wing before, come to think of it. Note to self: I know more than the readers and what is obvious for me isn't for everyone. I'll try to clarify soon...

Thank you for the review :)

And go Ravenclaw!


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Review #12, by Jchrissy (2)

2nd July 2013:
Hi perfect girl! I should be put in the gallows for how long this review has taken. Well, maybe just time out :P!

I really loved getting a look at Cormac in this one, and love even more that you kept him the same. He still has his attitude and you didn't try to buttery him up, which I really appreciate. And I think it will make his and Eloise's relationship even more fun once that gets underway ;)

The dynamic between Susan, Hannah, and Eloise was also a lot of fun. Neither of them seem too much alike, but it also doesn't feel like you made them different for the sake of making them different, if that makes sense. They're going to be a lot of fun, Susan and Hannah, to watch react to the future relationship! I'm excited for some serious chickmance.

I loved their first interaction, and that Cormac seemed to want to create a second despite Eloise's obvious disinterest. I'm super excited to see her thoughts about him! I was goign to tell you I want a new chapter to be posted NOW, but I remembered about the closure :(. Well, maybe if you would send a few chapters over to your beta.. ;). *pokes*.

You have such an awesome handle on these characters already, and I'm anxious to see how their story plays out!!



Author's Response: I could srick you in the gallows, but a) you couldn't be.my beta anymore, and b) no more BTF unless you type with your toes. I'll forgive you.

Right now, Cormac's attitude and how Eloise is going to change it (or not) is my favourite part of writing this, which you'll realise once I manage to send you chapter trois to beta! He really is a self-loving idiot, but I think that's part of what makes him so interesting.

Susan, Hannah and Eloise together are also something.I love. I suppose that when you spend seven years of your life (and, let's be honest, those are probably some of the worst) with the same people 24/7, the bond you have with them isn't just friendship. But of course you realise it's probably going to somewhat weaken when you graduate, so you make the most of it while you can. My point? I can't remember.

I will send you chapter three when I get a computer, and I promise I'm doing it what I can!



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Review #13, by soufflegirl99 (2)

1st July 2013:
Gah, Val, this chapter is beautiful! You've captured such different characters perfectly, and so in depth, I feel like I've known Eloise all my life! These two totally different people have so much in common, and they're so similar, and this chapter is just bursting with awesomeness!

Firstly, how original is it of you to format it this way?! You show the reader first Eloise, what she's like, her friends, her character, so we can have an overall opinion of her. She's witty, funny, clever, but I love the way you did interwine a bit of doubt there. Like how she feels overwhelmed a bit by Voldemort. I also feel that you describe Hufflepuff in such a lovely way; in my head it's always been a loyal hard working house, and you really showed the best of the Puffs, and did a great job of capturing what Hufflepuff is like in such a unique way.

Secondly, the whole way through I was gripped. There's nothing more horrible than a boring story, and this my friend, was at the other end of the scale, It's really hard to keep readers when you're talking about, well characters hahah, but nothing much is going on, but to me you were talking about riveting life and death situations. The perfect well thought out structure is so easy you can just slip in to those lines and read and read. From the very first line, you get dragged in, and can I just say I LOVE her mother! Quirky engaging lines like that just grab your attention and don't ever let go.

Lastly, the way you introduce Cormac is so brilliantly done. I love the you asked a question in 3rd person, and the way you started it off "Cormac was having a foul day." I love the way he reacts to the banter, and the way he is seething about it - you describe his anger really well, and it's awesome to see how he reacts and see the chemistry between them. It's going to be interesting to see how this works out. The way he's quite..err.. arrogant and self righteous is really fun to read, too, and he's a strong funny character!

What an awesome chapter, Val, I can't wait till the next one, and I'm sorry it took me so long to review such a wonderful story.

Sophie :D

Author's Response: WHAT HOW DO I RESPOND TO THIS.

Okay. You liking Eloise and feeling like you've known her your whole life is without doubt the highlight of my day -- and let me tell you that I waded my way out of a thunderstorm two hours ago.

I once took an online Sorting quizz that sent me to Hufflepuff. I honestly don't think I'd go there (I'm not a particularly nice human being on a regular basis, if you really must know), but nonetheless I value the qualities associated to the house. Besides, I am fed up with Hufflepuff being the house for the characters you don't know what to do with.

Helen is quite cool, yes. Not that Eloise always agrees with that, but she doesn't know what's good for her.

Cormac is a lot of fun to write about, though he really needs a Bludger to the head to reduce the size of it! The chemistrh between the two is going to be interstin to see develop, yep.

Thank you so much Sophie (and pah, what is this about apologising? You don't even need to review in the first place!) ♥


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Review #14, by academica (1)

27th June 2013:
Hi Val!

First off, this is a cool concept for a story--I wonder if Eloise is going to have her fairytale ending after all with Cormac. I also liked how you went into her history and charted the course of her experience with being bullied and trying to figure herself out.

The insults you came up with were really creative, though I hate to say it! It was interesting to watch her bloom as she conquered her acne, and I also liked how you showed the ways in which magic helped her (like when it caused her parents to celebrate with her in Hogsmeade) and hurt her (such as the unfortunate incident in the Hospital Wing).

I think this could have been folded into part of a first chapter, given its brevity, but I can see why you might have wanted to set it aside as a separate prologue sort of chapter. Either way, I'll bet this makes for the start of a well-written story.

Great job, and thanks for the swap :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi Amanda!

Well, I'm not going to say anything about the fairytale ending, because that would make me a bad secret-keeper. (I REALLY WANT TO TELL YOU THOUGH.)

As someone with my teenage years not so far away, the whole 'trying to figure yourself out' process was something essential to include. I don't actually know why I'm using past tense, I'm still stuck in the phase. Anyway.

I'm ashamed to say that I laughed when coming up with those, so don't worry! Acne is probably the worst thing about adolescence (you know, along with greasy hair, oily skin, unrepressed angst, teenage drama, and all the other lovely things included in the package), and this may sound a bit corny but I think once you do manage to get rid of it, it really helps your self-esteem.

Thank you so much for reviewing!


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Review #15, by The Misfit (2)

18th June 2013:
Hello again, Val ♥ Ooh, I might be the first person to review this chapter?! Eeek! I'll apologize in advance for any typos you may see in this review, then :P

I really love your introduction of Eloise in this chapter! It was great to see her interactions with Hannah and Susan, and learn how they became friends - you managed to get that across without info-dumping too, which is great! I also like how you described the war's toll on each of them - from Helen Midgeon's concern, to Hannah's cynical attitude, to Susan and her family's grieving and the rather amusing anecdote of that journalist's fate :P Your descriptions of how they handle the situation were so diverse, and I really like that!

I did get a little confused at your mention of Oscar, though, considering I have no idea who or what he is. After going back to re-read the first chapter, I'm guessing that he might be the Kneazle Eloise's parents bought her as a child? You might want to expand upon that a bit ;)

I love how you described the Hufflepuff common room, and how comfortable Eloise felt there. It was really lovely indeed XD

Cormac's introduction was fabulous too! I love how already, he's overexaggerating about the Bowtruckles, disobeys medical orders, and getting into detention - he's very much the arrogant seventeen-old he's portrayed as in the books! I love how he thinks Eloise is just going to swoon over him and track him down, and is surprised when she doesn't - ALREADY I'M SHIPPING THEM ♥

I did notice a tiny typo though. - Again, though, she disappeared, and Cormac was left with nothing but the handkerchief embroidered E.M. that he Accio'd out of her pocket. - I think it should be he had Accio'd or he'd Accio'd, since it's past tense :3 It's not a big deal, though, I just thought you would want to know so you can fix it :)

This is an absolutely super chapter and I can't wait for the next one! (Come on, you've already written the final chapter... you can surely write the third one?! :P) Thank you for the shout-out too!

Amazing as always, Val ♥

PS: When I previewed this review, I realized that I said "I love" a lot... That's because this chapter is so brilliant that it's stolen all my vocabulary ;)

Author's Response: OH NO NOT YOU AGAIN.

(Just joking, I love you for coming back despite my ridiculous updating skills.).

I am so, so glad you think that I'm not info-dumping and that this is interesting. For now, these feel really fillery, which is why I'm having so much trouble writing them... Also, I have no idea how to write grief, so I'm happy you thought it was good (which makes me sound a bit weird, doesn't it).

Yes, Oscar is the Kneazle. I will clear that up asap.

The Hufflepuff common room is my favourite thing in the world, and I apologise to my house pride that is currently sulkkng in the corner. BUT COME ON. It is obejctively awesome.

I had way too much fun writing from Cormac's POV. He is so arrogant I really want to hit him sometimes, but at the same time the poor guy has nonidea what just him -- he's in luuurve, or definitely on the right path to get there!

YOU MAY SHIP THEM BECAUSE I DO TOO.

Ugh, typos. Will edit, thank you for noticing it!

Chapter three will be up as soon as I access a computer, send it to Jami, and get it back. But I can also PM you sneak previews, I suppose!

THANK YOU ♥


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Review #16, by teh tarik (1)

14th June 2013:
Hiya Val! So, I'm so glad you asked me to read this! I love rare pairs, and as I did mention earlier, while I've come across another Cormac/Eloise story on HPFF, it was a oneshot. I can't wait to see where this story goes; minor character ships are one of my favourites to read :)

This is such a lovely and engaging prologue! It was sweet and fluffy but at the same time I feel really bad for Eloise and her insecurities about her appearances. I really like the way you skim through the years, from Eloise as a not-very-pretty baby to the girl who's more or less got over her acne and who's grown a little and possesses a bit more self-confidence. She's definitely realistic, despite this chapter being so short, and I would think many girls would find her to be such a relatable character, what with her awkwardness and discomfort with her body and shying away from her peers.

Gaah, I absolutely loved this bit:

She was quite satisfied by this verdict, which explained both her difficulties to interact with people her age, and her instinctive understanding of certain things while being incapable of reasoning why it worked like this or that.

This is such a great aspect of her characterisation, and wonderful insight to her thoughts.

Anyway, this is a lovely beginning! I enjoyed this; hopefully you'll update soon and we'll get to see that insensitive bragging Cormac swaggering about and barging into everyone's faces :p

teh

Author's Response: Hey teh!

You need to link me to that one-shot, I really want to read it now...

You finding her realistic is the biggest compliment ever, as it's really what I was aiming for. I'm never fully convinced by my characters, so thank you so much!

The fact that you picked up on that quote makes me love you even more -- it makes a lot of sense to me, but I wasn't sure it would to other people.

Yes Cormac comes swaggering in in chapter two -- or rather, he limps into the Hospital Wing...

Thank you so, so much for your amazing review!


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Review #17, by The Misfit (1)

9th June 2013:
VAL! ♥

I've been meaning to check out this story ever since you first mentioned it (by the way, I'll definitely respond to your PM tonight or tomorrow!) and I'm really liking the way you've started off! Although the prologue is short, you've managed to give us quite a bit of information about Eloise without info-dumping or sacrificing description - you've really achieved the perfect balance here as you tell us about her life growing up.

I loved her brother's comment about her; it's really accurate of what a young child would say and reminds me very much of my second-cousin, who asked her parents, "Where's his receipt? Can we take him back to the hospital and ask for a girl instead?" :') Although, his saying "until when can we send this one back?" seemed a little off to me - I'd suggest taking the "until". :)

I loved the way she reacted to Annabelle Thornton's actions, and how her parents bought her a Kneazle for Vanishing a girl's dress! Just from that one sentence, I really like them, bahaha!

I have to say, I absolutely adore your portrayal of Eloise! ♥ She's incredibly relatable - more than once I had to remind myself that she's a fictional character - and I can see a bit of myself in her, as well as every other teenage girl. I also like how you made her different from the stereotypical Hufflepuffs that are usually seen in a lot of fanfiction, and gave her a brain, a history - even a personality too, oh my! :P

I love this novel - and Eloise, if you couldn't tell - and I can't wait for your exams to finish so that I can see another chapter! :D ♥

Author's Response: KATIE ♥

I'm so relieved you don't think it was info-dumping, as my first chapters tend to do that.

The credit for her brother's comment goes to mine: when my sister was born he was really annoyed because he did not want another sister. I think he even threatened to murder the stork if it came back again, haha. The 'until' is a francisism that I shall edit when I get my hands on a computer again, thank you for pointing it out!

Her parents bought her the Kneazle because she finally showed she wasn't a Squib. I always felt like some children must show signs of magic much later than average (take Neville), and I'm sure the parents would be relieved once they finally do!

YES, SHE HAS A BRAIN. I'm so tired of the daft Hufflepuff stereotype (I mean, Tonks? Cedric? Ring any bells?), and I really didn't want Eloise to be like that. Someone pointed out that she seemed like more of a Claw though, so I need to focus on her 'Puff side more...

Thank you so much for your review and support ♥


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Review #18, by miluv (1)

24th May 2013:
OMG yes love it love her love you!

Author's Response: Aww thank you so much!

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Review #19, by patronus_charm (1)

24th May 2013:
Hey Val!

This is one of the best intros Iíve ever read! I really loved the type of humour you used, it was sort of cynical and you presented everything in a matter of fact way which just enhanced even more. I never would have thought I would associate Eloise and humour but I did here and it was really great.

You provided us with enough information to get a sense of her, and you didnít bore while you did it which was really great. I found her backstory really fascinating in fact and I felt so sorry for her that she hadnít had the best of lives until she got to sixth year. The analogy of the butterfly really fitted her well and I canít wait to see everyoneís reaction to her transformation.

I really loved Eloise too, and she definitely was realistic. I could really relate to her, and she seems like the type of person who has hidden depths and that you really like her once you get talking to her. I can definitely see why she was nominated for the People Person Diadem, as not many people can make their main characters so relatable.

The only thing that felt off to me was this line Ď"I thought babies were supposed to be cute Ė until when can we send this one back?"í I think it was either a mistaken Ďuntilí or you just forgot to develop it, but that was a really tiny error so other than that it was really great and Iím looking forward to chapter two :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi Kiana!

I'm so, so happy you thought this was a good intro -- I'm never too convinced by first chapters, they always seem to throw a chunk of information at the reader.

The People Person Diadem really was a big surprise, so thank you for thinking it was deserved and for thinking Eloise is a relatable character.

Whoops, I'll make sure to edit the until, thank you for pointing it out!

Thank you so much for everything! I've come here just after catching up on the HC, so I've got a lot of Ravenclaw love to spread and yeah, thank you thank you thank you ♥


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Review #20, by Jchrissy (1)

29th April 2013:
I have been trying to review this all stinking day and work keeps distracting me. Why I can't quit and just be an HPFF reviewer, I have no idea. Oh. I'd starve to death.

I love that you've started his in a matter of fact sort of way. I'm not sure if you've seen desperate house wives, but it reminds me of the voice overs delivered in that. I really like that you've given us enough information and kept your style consistent, without drowning us. We got a very good feel for Eloise. She's average on a lot of fronts, but it's easy to see that she's average more because she makes herself be. Except for her intelligence of course. There's nothing average about that.

This is random, but I LOVE that you used chrysalis. So many people say cocoon for butterfly and I always want to correct them and inform them that only moths makes cocoons. But I'd feel like a nerd so I never do, haha. So I just had a huge smile when I read that.

To answer your AN, I think Eloise feels very realistic so far! I'm excited to get to learn more about her, and very excited to see where you take this story!

Another novel... you crazy girl :P



Also-- this was, imo, some of your best writing. It felt really clean and polished. Wonderful job!

Author's Response: But I would send you food!

I haven't seen Desperate Housewives, but I'm happy you thought this flowed well. Eloise is definitely trying to make herself average so she goes unnnoticed -- as long as people let her wander about in peace, she's happy.

Haha, well I didn't know only moths made cocoons, but I'll keep that in mind for the future! (I just chrysalis because it sounded prettier, if you really want to know.)

Another novel, I know... And I have exams so I'm not sure how everything will fit, but once July kicks in updates should be more regular :)

Also, your last comment really made me smile, and I'll try to keep that up throughout the story!

&hearts


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Review #21, by AlexFan (1)

28th April 2013:
I was going to read Reason to Fight but then I saw this and it just sounded really interesting from the summary so I gave it go and boy was this awesome!

I haven't read many stories that revolve around minior characters so this was an awesome surprise and needless to say, I'll be keeping up with this story to see where it goes. It has Cormac McLaggen in it so it's bound to be good and funny.

I feel so bad for Eloise though, I know the feeling of having a pimple even if my face isn't covered with them and is generally smooth (look at me getting all vain).

I love how she's a Hufflepuff but she isn't dimwitted or anything else that people assume that all Hufflepuffs are. Eloise Midgeon: defying the stereotypes of Hufflepuff since she entered Hogwarts.

Eloise is most definitely realistic, I can totally relate to her because I'm a lot like her when it comes to socializing with people and the need to have knowledge on just about everything.

Anyway, awesome job on this and I look forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hi!

The next chapter is in Cormac's point of view, and I can already tell you that it has been immensely fun to write. Hopefully that'll be obvious and you'll like it?

Eloise really doesn't deserve other people's reactions. You have every right to feel vain about being pimple-free, you lucky thing!

Oh yes, she defies the Hufflepuff stereotype -- I never really understood people assumed they were all dim. I mean, Nymphadora Tonks and Cedric Diggory. Enough said.

Thank you for the review!


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Review #22, by nott theodore (1)

27th April 2013:
I know that I said I'd review one-shots, but all of yours have quite a lot of reviews, so I decided to read this instead.

Some of my favourite stories are about the more minor characters from the books because I think there's so much that you can explore and do with them. A story about Eloise Midgeon? Yes, please!

This was quite short, but as this was the first chapter and an introduction to the story, I don't think it really matters. I enjoyed the back story that you gave us which helped me learn more about Eloise. Your opening paragraph was really effective and quite amusing; I thought you really captured the way young children speak and think.

As you described Eloise's childhood I found myself feeling quite sorry for her, and I couldn't help but laugh when I read about her revenge on Annabelle Thornton. One thing I thought you got across really well was the effect that something like acne can have on someone's self-confidence. Young people can be really horrible, and I thought the insults you invented were meanly accurate. I loved the butterfly metaphor that you used as well.

There were just a few typos that I picked up on. At one point you type Heloise instead of Eloise, and 'he's be able to read' should be he'd be able to read.

I actually really enjoyed this chapter and I'll be interested to see how you develop the story from here.

nott theodore :)

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm very happy you like this, and I promise the next chapter will be longer.

As a young adult, writing about teenagers, social awkwardness and the difficulty to accept yourself is something I find very easy. And yes, young people can be really horrible!

I've now edited the typos, thank you very much for pointing them out. Thank you also for the lovely review :)


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Review #23, by house elf (1)

17th April 2013:
oooh, this seems like a really interesting story :) I like the unusual pairing, and how these minor characters are getting some more air-time! I remember feeling a bit sorry for Eloise in the books, because the only times she was ever really mentioned was when someone was making fun of her appearance.

I do like Eloise so far; she seems to be a genuinely nice girl, and it's a shame that her acne/negative body image has made her build a shell around herself :(

I'm excited to be introduced to more characters and see how Eloise develops!

Author's Response: To be honest, I'd never given Eloise much thought before I started writing this, but I wanted non-Trio Hogwarts era, so she just came naturally...

I'm very happy you like the story so far, and I hope to see you around afterwards :)

Thank you for the review!


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Review #24, by Mystique (1)

17th April 2013:
I think I may have just found a new favourite pairing, Eloise Midgeon and Cormac McLaggen, even though Cormac hasn't been introduced yet. I've always loved minor characters but I've never giving much of a thought to Eloise or what she was like. I don't believe that I've come across a story about her so I'm really looking forward to this story.

I feel that in this chapter, even though its a little bit short, you've already set a really strong foundation for the rest of the story. This was a really great introduction to Eloise - I loved the bit about Annabelle Thornton's pink dress vanishing. Also the comments seemed really realistic and something that a Hogwart's student could very well say, even though they are really mean.

I noticed one minor typo in, "a little on Heloise's too" that it should be Eloise not Heloise. This story so far is fabulous and I'm really interested to see how Eloise and Cormac meet and what their reactions are, as they seem to be polar opposites of each other.

I can't wait to read the next chapter!
Charlie :)

Author's Response: Hi Charlie!

I'm happy you're looking forward to this story -- I am too, so updates should be pretty regular once my exams are over.

I've edited the typo now, thanks for pointing it out.

The next chapter should be up within the coming two weeks, hopefully less, and is in Cormac's point of view, so I hope you'll like it :)

Thank you for the review!


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Review #25, by my_voice_rising (1)

17th April 2013:
Oh my gosh. Best. Introduction. Ever. Her brother asking how long they had before she couldn't be returned... So funny! And quite realistic. Their family sounds so delighfully quirky, congratulating her for showing signs of magic by buying her a Kneazle. After she made a girl's dress disappear! Brilliant.

I wonder if this is a typo? ...and a little on Heloise's too, whom Vincent had convinced that her letter would never arrive. :3

Oh wow, those jokes about her face are so mean! But very clever... Did you come up with them? I feel like they're something that Draco, Crabbe and Goyle would say as well. The jerks.

I'm excited to read on! Can't wait to meet the other characters. I wonder if you'll continue using this narrative voice, I quite like it. Adds a fairy-tale quality to the story.

Nice work, as always ♥

Author's Response: YOU. HAVE SOME HEARTS: &hearts &hearts &hearts

Her brother's comment, sadly enough, is one that my brother made when my sister was born, except that he added 'Another girl? But why?!'

Yep, definitely a typo, which I've edited now!

I had a little too much fun coming up with the jokes, I'm ashamed to admit. Draco, Crabbe and Goyle would probably say something like that, yes.

The next chapter is seen through Cormac's eyes, so I hope you'll like him! I'm going to try and stick to this narrative voice, yes -- it's really fun (for now, at least).

You're the best.



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