Reading Reviews for Spoonful of Sugar
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AlexFan Rose is a little reckless

28th June 2013:
I can totally relate to Rose, getting so stressed and tired from studying and you want to stop but you just can't seem to so it! Anyway, I really enjoyed this and it's been a while since I've read a story where Rose isn't a perfect know-it-all who has got it together.

Anyway, I think you did a brilliant job on the first chapter!

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Review #2, by peppersweet Rose is a little reckless

15th June 2013:
I switched playlists to listen to during my reading of this fic because I guessed from the banner and summary that it is A Very Different Beast to The Fluttery Whimsy and...I think I may be right. Odd question, but are you working on both stories at once, and thus, do you ever get mood/narrator whiplash from swapping between them? I get asked this about my stories sometimes, and my answer would be no, because I like to take a break from things now and again, but I wondered what you might say. And I feel like I have to make my reviews have some sort of point beyond rambling and shipping.

I can empathise with Rose! On the grades and so forth~

One thing that's kind of stood out for me in the first bit of this paragraph is the reference to the joint as a 'tube' or the 'tube-y' thing - not sure I can bring this up in a review because reviews are meant to be 12+, but I'll risk it - somehow I've got the impression already that Rose is smart, and even if she isn't streetwise and has never tried drugs before, I feel like she'd know to refer to it by a proper name, even if she just called it a cigarette. Also, this dialogue - 'Well, I didn't know it was this easy' was all she could think to say - I can't actually fault what she says in itself, it's just that you're missing a comma before the closing speech mark. Did I mention I liked to nitpick?

I actually like this characterisation of stoner!Scorpius rather than playboy!Scorpius. Everyone loves a bad guy, I'll concede, but I get very tired of the playboy!Scorpius Slytherin Sex Gods because, well, some of the relationships in those fics tread the abusive line and I really don't approve. But, anyway, this isn't the time to rant; I just wanted to say that I've never seen this angle on Scorpius before and I like it! And I like that Rose is the one that goes in for the kiss - even if she's Not Entirely Lucid, it's refreshing to see the girl taking the first actual move instead of the guy just barging in there. Not that I don't write that myself all the time or anything...

I also like the duality in Rose's character, how she veers between wanting to be a rebel and wanting to be a model student all at once. I go through a near-constant cycle of 'oh I want to be a good artist and drink green tea and eat salads and wear nice clothes and cycle everywhere and wake up early to watch the sun come up' and 'yolo!! drink all the beer die young #noregrets' okay that's a bit of an exaggeration but I think you understand what I mean. I think it's just everyday angst.

Nice chapter! Like I said, it is A Very Different Beast from The Fluttery Whimsy, but I've enjoyed this chapter and I'm looking forward to seeing more from your next-gen kids! ♥

Author's Response: It is indeed A Very Different Beast, but I am glad you still like it! When you said in the other review you were going to read it I was getting really nervy 'cause it's so different and all that.

As for the mood/narrator whiplash, I think I do sort of... But it's not so much from flipping between fics as it is just writing this fic itself. It has a tone I'm not really used to, so I'm constantly editing it. There are a couple times I go through and think 'That sounds way too Fluttery Whimsy!' but more often I'm just going 'Rose would use bigger words and better phrasing, come on Chloe, THINK!' So I suppose to a degree, yes.

Ah, yes, the tube-y thing. I didn't actually mean like a thin cigarette-ish thing, it's something that looks more like a test tube or something. I don't know what it's called, I just saw it in a film once :3 But now that you mention all this, they should probably not be starting out with that. I've been thinking about editing that, but I wasn't really sure, and now I am so thank you! I appreciate that you mentioned it because obviously I am Not an Expert on this particular topic.

Ack, that comma. I debated that comma so much. I couldn't decide if it needed one because it was a he said, or she said sort of thing. And I've seen it before where people left it out and it seemed okay but I wasn't really sure and I don't know the rules on all that, but I think I will add it. Eek, commas. You will be the death of me.

I agree with you completely about playboy!Scorpius. I wanted to make my Scorpius have a similar sort of attitude, because I felt like he'd be a pretty confident bloke, but I didn't want him to be all... eck. I didn't even get to a chapter of the first draft before I realised that was not the Scorpius I wanted, and I went and fixed him. I like him better now, and his characterisation really gets a kickstart in the next chapter, so I'm pretty excited.

Of course I had to make Rose kiss Scorpius because... well, she's Rose! I felt like it would be betraying her character to let him kiss her, because she wants to be all in control of everything. If she snogs him it's okay, but if he snogs her? He's a creep. Rose has some rather convoluted reasoning :P

I do understand what you mean, absolutely. And I think loads of people have that duality at least to an extent. Or at least a conflict of their own interests. There's that idealised version of themselves that they want to be and what makes them happy, but then there also the 'Forget it, I'll just do whatever I want' that is especially common at this age. So it's fun to play with.

YES, I am fist-pumping. So happy you liked it and so happy for another great review! I love seeing them, it's like the first flowers of spring or maybe something less twee but I'm in a twee sort of mood, so flowers it is!


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Review #3, by miluv Rose is a little reckless

11th June 2013:
You have this great writing style that I can't pull off no matter how hard I try, and your story line is amazing so far, Those two things added together equal LOVE. hehe

Author's Response: Oh, I'm so glad you like it! You wouldn't believe how many of my stories I used to think were witty and awesome -facepalm- I've pretty much just accepted it's a learning process, and the more I write the better it gets, so I just keep writing and hope to pull off things :P I'm glad it works for you. I'll keep at it!

Thanks for the review, cause reviews and anything else equal LOVE except if the other thing is poison.


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Review #4, by Siriusly89 Rose is a little reckless

6th June 2013:
Hey!

I actually read this two days ago, but completely forgot to favourite it, so I said I'd find it today, and leave you a review as well. Sorry it won't be that long, as I don't have an awful lot of time at the present moment, but I will leave you a super long review on chapter two to make up for it!

I love Rose and Scorpius as two characters. You haven't glorified any of the issues you brought up, even going so far as to call Scorpius a 'stoner Slytherin loser', but still putting a spin on it, so we can see that he isn't a bad person underneath it all, he's just made some bad choices!

Can't wait for chapter two!

Author's Response: Oh, I'm always doing that. I usually just forget until months later, though, so I'm glad you are a bit better than me :P

I'm so happy to hear that about the issues! I wanted to sort of make this a drama, but at the same time not be all THESE ARE REAL LIFE ISSUES AND THEY'RE DRAMATIC. So I've just tried to focus on the characters with the issues, instead of the issues themselves, and hope that can carry the plot.

We shall see, I suppose.

And I wanted Rose's perceptions to alter the tone of the story a bit as well. Scorpius is described as a loser because Rose thinks he is one, not because he "just is." That's what I wanted to get across with it, so I'm glad you picked up on those bits. I'm making the best effort to show that Rose's perceptions are not equal to reality, and I hope that can be seen in later chapters too! It's an editing nightmare, but worth it.

And however long your reviews may be, I am very grateful for them. Thank you so much! :D


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Review #5, by thetenthweasley Rose is a little reckless

4th June 2013:
This is lovely, besides a word missing at the beginning, but it didn't deter me at all from this chapter and I'm sure was an accident (given your excellent grammar and spelling etc. otherwise).
Rose's character is refreshingly original, and Scorpius Malfoy's even more so. The dialogue was sharp, choice of vocabulary neat and the overall flow of your writing is great.
Can't wait for the next one! xo

Author's Response: Missing word? Nooo! Dreams, crushed. I must find this word. I will show it who's in charge of this story -cracks knuckles-

Refreshingly original, is there any more flattering phrase? Not to me. I write for the characters, so I'm chuffed you feel that way about them. I am paying particular attention to Scorpius in this fic because I don't want him to fall into the pit of Malfoy stereotypes. I imagine it as a chasm filled with sewage and crocodiles, with only the bravest and most clever Malfoy stereotypes climbing up and pulling themselves over the ledge to safety.

I imagine some odd things.

And I'm so happy to hear that about the flow! I edit constantly for the sake of flow. Dialogue can be a struggle for me, so I'm glad you found it on point. Of course, there wasn't too much of it in this chapter, but... time shall tell, I suppose? That sounds a bit creepy.

Well, thanks for the review. It's meant loads already, and if there are more to come, I can hardly wait! :)


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