Reading Reviews for Breaking Wills
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore Chapter 1

13th March 2014:
Hi there! Here reviewing for the Blackout Bingo!

Wow, this was a really powerful piece of writing. I don't think I've got to this part in GoT yet but I like the way that you took inspiration from something like that and applied it to this situation - I think it worked very well, particularly with your choice of character and setting.

There aren't many stories that show Lucius as a character who's this vulnerable while the war is going on; I've seen a lot of him fighting and thoughts about his family, but I think this really took Lucius's character to a new level by giving him more depth and making him seem much more human. The Dementors are one of the worst things people could experience, and it makes perfect sense to me that they would be his breaking point, so to speak - after he comes back from prison, he never really seems like the man that he had been before. I always think that it would have been enough to cure him of his way of life if it hadn't been for the fear that he lived in with Voldemort's return.

I really felt sorry for him here, the way you showed him to be so vulnerable. It was horrible to read about him waiting for the Dementors, feeling like there was something wrong because they hadn't come yet, not wanting them to come and yet knowing that they would, eventually. And when they did your writing was very powerful and moving. I liked some of the chaos in his thoughts as he tried to escape from the effects of the Dementors, especially the references to Narcissa and Draco who I think would be the people he would use to try and cling on to some semblance of sanity.

Lovely writing, too - the imagery and description you used here was really effective. I enjoyed reading this!

Sian :)

Blackout Bingo review 1/20

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Review #2, by rozen_maiden Chapter 1

29th July 2013:
This was amazing! I'm not usual a fan of one-shots, but you really hit every emotion in me. I find there is nothing quite as sad as the story of Lucius Malfoy, and you really painted the clear picture as to why. You wrote his downfall and personality perfectly. Thanks for this amazing read :)
- Mahalia

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks a lot for taking the time to read my story. I am very, very happy that you liked my take on Lucius. His story is indeed a sad one, but one that he brought upon himself nonetheless. We all know the kind of person he was, what his beliefs were so we can't say that in part, he deserved what he got. However, there are some moments in his punishment that seem to harsh, even for him (like watching helplessly as Voldemort made his son a Death Eater and set him the incredibly difficult task of killing Dumbledore).

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Review #3, by HollyStone73 Chapter 1

17th July 2013:
As I read through this I really wanted to try to feel sorry for Lucius, but sadly found myself unable to. I like that he had spent time expecting Voldemort and the death eaters to break him out of there only to be disappointed. I think that was a great way to foreshadow Voldemort's anger at him for failing to get the prophesy from Harry. I also liked the happy memory of Narcissa and how it attracted the attention of the dementors. You descriptions painted a very dismal but vivid picture of what it was the Lucius was forced to deal with during his imprisonment. Very well done and a pleasure to read!

- Laura

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Review #4, by Jchrissy Chapter 1

17th June 2013:
Hi lovely! Well, you've thoroughly creeped me out for the day! Although I can't complain, because dark stories are some of my favorites.

The way you gave Lucius enough pride not to cry, but snatched just as much away was really well done. It almost feels like he hardly realized how serious his situation was, like he thought if he demanded he be released enough then the fact that he's a Malfoy would make it happen.

When he thinks back to the humiliation he suffered upon being sentenced, oh that felt so realistic! You did such an awesome job keeping him in canon but added enough tweaks that he's very believable for a man who's been imprisoned and suffering.

His thoughts around Narcissa, and how they seemed to soften him, really made me feel for the man that he could have been if he wouldn't let have darkness taken such a hold on his life. It's sad to think that his little family could have had everything...

and oh my gosh. We knew it was coming, the fact that they hadn't visited him yet was a clear sign of it, but you made that so amazingly chilling! I'm really impressed with the fact that you managed to keep it dark and almost blurry without making it all confusing. It was a lot of intensity without tangling it, and very well done.

Suggestion? If you ever want to expand on this, I think it would be awesome to see a bit of bitterness when he thinks about the Dark Lord. We always now he needs to blame someone for his actions; any failings aren't that of his own. Maybe just a fleeting thought of, if it weren't for the dark lord he wouldn't be here, or if it weren't for potter or something. Though I'm probably just suggesting this because I'm selfish and want more ♥

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Review #5, by MargaretLane Chapter 1

23rd April 2013:
Your stories sounded interesting in your reply to the "Genres" blog, so thought I'd check them out.

Love the beginning of this story. Really atmospheric.

I also like the comments about how Lucius Malfoy hated the humiliation. Fits his character perfectly. He's so obsessed with his position that I think the disgrace itself would be quite a punishment.

It's interesting to see Lucius Malfoy in a vulnerable position, since it's a side we don't really see of him in canon.

Wow, I never thought of him as ever having had a religion. I think it shows how desperate he is that he is almost turning to a greater power than himself (or the Dark Lord). *laughs*

I also like the way you show his love for his wife and son. I love the way he's evil and yet loves his family. It gives him depth as a character.

And that was an interesting connection and contrast between his wife's kiss and a Dementor's Kiss.

You've actually made me feel sorry for Lucius Malfoy here, which isn't easy. Excellent story.

Author's Response: What a lovely surprise Margaret! I'm really excited you came by to read my little one shot. It means a lot to hear from you :)

You're very right about Lucius. When I was thinking about how to write him in this story, I imagined this moment as his ultimate fallout. Starting this moment would be his fall from that high position he always held himself to. I wanted to make it as symbolical as I could (no one coming to help him out of prison, himself living in a cell full of rats and dung and with no way of facing the sun as opposed to his mansion, etc.). I thought that showing his descent from the upper position would be the best punishment for him (although I ended up feeling sorry for him, as you did).

I've always been of the opinion that no matter how evil someone is, there must be something or someone that person cares about. In his own way, of course, but there HAS to be someone. I never had a doubt that Lucius cared for his family so it felt natural that they were the ones he'd turn to for support in his time of need, even if they were not physically present, you know?

Thank you so much for the surprise review! I'm very happy you liked my story!

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Review #6, by the_undaunted Chapter 1

21st April 2013:
I was so thrilled when I noticed that you have written a piece on Lucius, and even more so because it concerns a part that was missing from the books. I did wonder what happened in Azkaban and how Lucius, being the person who he is, dealt with it. What we were able to see, was the result of his rather short stay, and the great impact it had on his behaviour and attitudes.

As for the story, I absolutely loved it. You smoothly went through his last self-preservance barriers, his hopes, denials, and touched on the human part of him - undoubtedly, his affection towards his family. I have always admired their integrity when it comes to family values, despite their involvement with Voldemort, they still tried to go through this together. You captured it very well.

I also like it that exactly this affection was the last straw that broke him - in his nightmare, the Dementor picked up on his last defense and turned it into a horror. After this, he succumbed finally to the terror that he tried so much to overcome. All in all, it was a very powerful ending, and you made it sound so finite - the last two sentences gave me the chills.

Thank you for sharing your story with us!

- Ika

Author's Response: IKA! I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU HERE! :D And yes, it's taken me almost a month to reply to this, but life's been very hectic around here lately :( And it's only going to get worse from now on for a month or two :(

It really makes me all warm and fuzzy inside that you enjoyed this little one shot. Missing moments are one of my favourite things to write from the books, and I must admit that being in Lucius' head has given me a lot more insight into his character than I had until now. It's forced me to imagine how he felt there, in prison, knowing that he was so close to the terrible Dementors. I had to think like him, feel like him, see everything he saw, and suffer everything he suffered. And it wasn't a nice moment. Breaking him down was not as fun as I'd expected. I thought I'd be more satisfied because this was payback, yeah? This was the moment he'd finally pay for everything he did. Well, it only left a sour taste in my mouth.

I couldn't think of a stronger image of a happy moment than his family. It had to be them to be the last to go. Despite having conspired with Voldemort and being involved in all those horrible things he did, his family was sacred to him. I think the ultimate punishment for Lucius was seeing his loved Narcissa change into a Dementor, even if it was just a dream. Nothing could destabilize him more than that.

Thanks a million for dropping by and reading this. You're a sweetheart!

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Review #7, by Toujours Padfoot Chapter 1

17th April 2013:
I love Lucius Malfoy stories! I've written a story about Lucius in Azkaban, as well, (though mine is post-war) and I'm always curious to see other interpretations of how it all went down since this trial wasn't depicted in canon.

He could taste their malicious joy at his misfortune.

- I like that realistic detail. Even the most stoic, dignified witches and wizards would be carrying pitchforks around at an event like this. It wasn't shown in the books, but I can imagine the anger that would be aimed towards a man who had been, up until that point, viewed as a contributor to the community, and even given small amounts of power and leverage in the Ministry - and to know that all this time he has been working for Voldemort. Not only that, but he actively misled investigations about Voldemort's return and pretended Harry Potter and Albus Dumbledore were making everything up. People don't like a murderer, certainly, or a man who tries to kill children, but they take personal offense at being lied to and made into a fool. Cornelius Fudge's verdict might have been even more harsh than another Minister would have given him because Fudge now has to use his final moments in office to make up for the terrible job he'd done of protecting his people. So any Death Eaters who came to sit before him probably received the maximum penalty no matter what their crimes, just so that he could say he'd finally done something.

I really like his arrogance at assuming he was important enough for Voldemort to come bail out. Arrogance and a super high opinion of his own value are the two traits that always jump to mind whenever I think of Lucius Malfoy, so I appreciate you bringing those characteristics to light. He is both pathetic and proud to a fault, even in prison. Crying, pleading for's a very satisfying image. Shaking my head at Lucius for assuming Death Eaters would care enough to come bust him out. Whoever's still on the outside is probably glad Malfoy's gone. Makes room for them to climb the Death Eater social ladder. And Voldemort, of course, has no use for anyone who's not immediately in front of him.

The scene is very vivid and haunting. Rats running rampant, the anticipation of dementors being worse than the dementors themselves, the horrible anxiety - it paints the most miserable setting in existence. And then in Lucius's spare time when he is not struggling to hold back tears, feeling sorry for himself, he feels sorry for Narcissa because she must feel sorry for him. Despite the fact that he lived his life for Voldemort, putting Voldemort's wants and wishes over himself and his family, it is the dream of Narcissa that he turns to now. Real, genuine love instead of the love he professed to have for his master. It could not be more obvious, seeing where his thoughts lie in prison, that he only associated himself with Voldemort to see what was in it for him. He just wanted a piece of the power.

His beautiful Narcissa transforming into one of the dementors, messing with his mind, was sweet irony. They took the one thing that gave him hope and positive feelings and twisted it into something evil. And then Lucius's futile call for help just capped it all off. Even now, even here, he thinks someone will come running to help him just because he's Lucius Malfoy and he demands it.

Holy crap that ending was terrifying! You did a magnificent job portraying Azkaban not only as a physical prison but a psychological one, as well. The fear that runs through Lucius as the dementor draws nearer was tangible. I'm trying to come up with CC for this one-shot but I honestly can't think of anything to suggest. You described it all so vividly!

- Sarah

Author's Response: I am so very sorry this response is coming so, so late. Almost a month late. At the beginning I kept squealing and read it over and over again and fretted that no answer could possibly sum up how much I loved it! But as time passed, problems kept rising up and this month has been anything but easy for me, sadly. But here I am, finally!

I am beyond happy that you liked my portrayal of his trial. I pictured every little detail in my head, but since it's a memory of his, I couldn't add them all in. But that scene, where Lucius is shunned and people are pointing accusing fingers at him, some are laughing in glee, some still can't believe it, I thought that scene was important to his downfall. I think that was one of those ground-breaking moments when he realised that it was beginning of his downfall. His sanity and self-control started crumbling from that moment on.

Yes, sadly Lucius was naive, so to say, enough to think that Voldemort and his other Death Eaters companions would consider him important enough to be rescued. I like to think that that particular thought was a product of both his incredible arrogance and the despair that was slowly starting to possess him. Because Malfoy can be anything you want, but I don't think he's stupid. He MUST have known, deep down, that Voldemort couldn't care less about his disciples and he was never going to be rescued by them. But he also knew that if he accepted that thought, even for a moment, he would inevitably fall into despair and depression. You can say that that was his last hope :)

Despite being in league with Voldemort most of his adult life, I can't not imagine him loving his family. He was avarice in person but he also had love for his family. Which makes him very human to me. A human I'd punch of course, but a human nonetheless. So when he is lost in darkness, when he's at his most darkest hour, who does he turn to? To Narcissa and Draco, who are the only true things in his life. His last support...only to be snatched away. That must have been the cruellest of the punishments Lucius could receive.

I am SO, happy, so incredibly happy that you enjoyed my story. I can't tell you how much a review from you means to me. I just hope you'll forgive the lateness of my response :( You made me a very happy bunny with this review :D

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Review #8, by CambAngst Chapter 1

13th April 2013:
Tagging you from Review Tag!

Wow! This was an absolutely chilling piece. I'm not in the habit of feeling badly for old Lucius. Everything that ever happened to him, be brought upon himself. But it's hard not to get pulled into the despair and terror that you infused this story with. I wouldn't trade places with him for anything.

I thought it was a little amusing, in a twisted sort of way, that he dreads the visit of a Dementor. It seems pretty obvious that their proximity is already affecting him. The depression, the lethargy, the nightmares... all of them sound like effects of having lots of Dementors close by.

His refusal to cry as a symbolic act of defiance, the thing that he chooses to focus on so as to show that he has not been broken, was a good choice. He seems to be fairly broken in most other respects, but until the Dementor approaches him at the end, he refuses to cross that one, final line. I thought this line was an especially clever emphasis on the point:

Wiping an unshed tear from his eye with the back of his dirty hand... - Denial. It isn't just a river in Egypt.

The happy memories that he tries to cling to as a defense mechanism made perfect sense. But the nightmares quickly punish him for his small conceit. The dream sequence was pure horror. You did an awesome job with that. I loved how the nightmare mixed elements of the memory with his current reality. It was all so twisted and surreal!

And then the Dementor comes to visit him for real, and he finally breaks. I felt sad without necessarily feeling sad for Lucius in particular. Maybe just a little. ;)

I saw a couple of typos that you might want to take a second look at:

He didnít think he could take more of those terrible dreams he dreamed, but he could not lay wake forever either. - lay awake?

Luciusís eyes open wide as he struggled for air, a burning sensation searing his lungs. - opened wide

A massive figure, cloaked and dark dark was standing in the frame of the entrance, silhouetted ominously against the bars. - you doubled the word "dark"

Otherwise, I thought your writing was lovely. The words you chose and the flow of the story complimented the dark imagery beautifully. Very nice job!

Author's Response: You can't imagine the puddle I melted when I saw your review! Thanks so much for it! I'm only sorry it took me so long to respond to this :(

I wouldn't trade places with him either! For a long time I haven't been his fan either, but I have this memory from the movie Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 when he's sitting at the table and Voldemort asks for his wand. He gives it to him and Voldemorts snaps it in two. The way he jumped there, at just that sound, made me wonder what could have possibly happened to the once proud man we've seen in the earlier books/films. Basically this was the premise for my one shot :)

When I was thinking about his characterization, crying was the first thought I had to portray that exact same of defiance you talked about. Crying would have been the maximum proof that he was indeed broken and he could not allow that. To maintain his sanity he HAD to believe that he was still in power somehow, that he still held control over something. Glad you caught that up ;)

I'm SO happy you liked the dream sequence. I was unsure if I made the transition from dream to reality believable enough or in a flowing, natural way. I really was nervous about that part!

Thank you for pointing out the typos. Be sure that I will re-read the story once again and correct them! And thanks a million for the review. I loved it!

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Review #9, by patronus_charm Chapter 1

12th April 2013:
I love it when people take canon characters and fill in the bits we donít know about them, so of course I was going to read this :D

I really liked how you showed how broken he had become. I always disliked him, as he always held himself so highly, so I found him almost likeable here as he was in such a deteriorated state you couldnít help but pity him, as it was just so sad to see him like that.

You really got into the desperate mind-set he must have been in. The isolation felt so scary, that you couldnít help but want to free him from it. I liked how you showed that it could have been either the dementors who caused him to be like that, or just being on his own, as it showed how truly terrible Azkaban is.

The contrast of when he was thinking of Narcissa and Draco was really lovely. It filled with me all these nice fuzzies about them. I liked how you showed that he really did care about them, and that there family life wasnít a pretence as that seems more accurate and believable.

Your description was really great here too, and you could really get sense of his surroundings and his emotions. I could envisage them so much, that I felt that I was experiencing all of these things with him.

The ending was great too, the last few lines were perfect Ė ĎAnd Lucius screamed. And then he cried.í, as it really showed how much fear had changed him, and how he had resorted back to childlike tendencies.

It was a great one-shot, and I hope to see more from you ;)

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: Hey! I'm SO sorry it took me this long to respond to this. I assure you it's not because I didn't appreciate it, I just never got around to doing it. But I'm here now!

Missing moments are definitely one of my favourite parts of the books as well. The HP verse is so big and there are so many gaps to fill that I never grow bored with toying with ideas of "what might have happened then?". I love "what ifs"

I never particularly liked him either. I never set out to writing this fic so that people feel sympathy towards him, but I'm glad you do because I do too. Even if he did terrible, terrible stuff I never could actually dislike him wholeheartedly. I only wished someone would show him a bit of humility and knock some sense into him. I never wished for him to live all that he's lived :(

I never really bought those stories where he is an abusive father and husband. It never occurred my mind to see him like that. I actually think that his family was the main drive in everything he did. In his own weird, twisted way, he wanted to provide for his family and wanted what was best for them. Thus losing himself in so many mistakes. I tried to show that, at least as briefly as I could before it turned into his nightmare.

I'm so happy you liked me story! It means the world to me :D Thank you for reviewing

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