Reading Reviews for Those Girls
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by -BookDinosaur- Those Girls

9th June 2013:
Hello, here for the Ravenclaw review battle!

Oh my goodness, I really loved reading this. I think you managed to capture Dominique's emotions so well, and the comparisons she made between her fourteen-year-old self and herself now just made the contrast all the more striking. She seems so weak now compared to the girl she used to be.

I love how she feels isn't just pain for herself, like most of these stories I've read, but also so much guilt for what she's doing to Victoire. All her emotions were so well written, I just wanted to cheer her up. But the angst works as well, I guess. :)

The end was so infuriating, but at the same time, it brought a feeling of closure to the story. Gah! Will she, won't she?

Anyway, all in all, a really great one-shot I loved reading.

Author's Response: Hello! Woo for Ravenclaw!

Oh wow, thank you so much! I'm so glad that the emotions came across well, and that you liked the contrast between Dominique at the different ages. (I had lots of fun writing that bit!)

I reckoned that someone in that situation would feel pretty awful about what they were doing, especially with it being her sister, so I'm glad that you founnd it realistic!
Haha yeah, I think it'd be good for someone to go cheer her up! :P

Yeah, I've had a lot of comments about the ending! It's great to hear that it brought some closure to the story, despite being so open.

Thank you very much for this review, and all you kind words! I'm so happy that you enjoyed reading! ♥


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Review #2, by Solo Those Girls

8th June 2013:
Hello -waves- here for review tag!

First off, I absolutely adore your writing style. It makes me so happy. I love the contrast between how she was and how she is now. The description of Teddy (despite how I dislike how he is to her) just portrays perfectly why she's in love with him, it's so believable and almost understandable why she keeps taking him back even though he's so mean! Which is excellent, kudos to you. I often read 'the other woman' fics and find myself in despair because he has some hold that I never find is aptly described for me to understand why! But I do, which is brilliant.

The ending is just the perfect cliffhanger. Coming from a suspense hater, I adore it. It's the right mix of will-she, won't-she leaving the rest up to the readers imagination without me wanting to scream YOU DIDN'T END IT I WANT TO KNOW and throw my laptop across the room in a rage. So my laptop thanks you.

Favourite quote: 'Like an inept mathematician, I try to subtract the sum of him from my life, to take away the warmth of his skin and the calluses on the tips of his fingers. I try to picture a world without his irregular appearances, without his mocking smile, or his sarcastic remarks.' Just stunning.

You're writing is just absolutely superb, I adore this. Well done!

Author's Response: Hello! *waves back*

Oh my goodness, thank you so much! I'm glad that you enjoyed this! It's just wonderful to hear that Dominique's behaviour seems believeable and understandable, as I was very anxious that she'd come across as sympathetic. I feel so happy that that all works for you! ♥

I'm glad you (and your laptop! :P) liked the ending- especially coming from someone not keen of cliffhangers (I'm starting to think that I have an unhealthy enjoyment of them, haha)

Ooh I'm so glad that you liked that quote! I had fun writing it!

I can't thank you enough for this wonderful review. Thank you so much for all your kind words- It really means a lot! ♥

-Bethany


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Review #3, by Jchrissy Those Girls

29th May 2013:
Hi there! Review Tag!

Okay -- I've read a few different stories about Dominique and Teddy being unfaithful behind Victoire's back. This is by far my favorite.

You captured something that I feel like most authors aren't able to: the absolute pain this puts Dominique in. It isn't just he own pain, but what she's doing to her sister and that made a big difference for me.

You also made her weak, very weak, with the memory of the strong girl she used to be. Again, something I absolutely loved. I loved how she couldn't let go and she *knew* how stupid she was being, but she couldn't walk away from it. She was too weak to tell him goodbye, too in loved with him in such a terrible terrible way. They're so bad for one another and hurting so many people in their path, but it's killing Dom just as much and i love that.

This is hands down one of the most realistic from the mistress's PoV story I've read. You made sure not to leave anything out. Her anger at Teddy, her anger at herself, her disgust with both of them, her jealousy of Victoire even though she knows that it's *her* fault and not her sister's. And more than anything her desperate desire to go back to that time when she was young, when she would have laughed at a stupid girl doing this sort of thing.

This was a really impressive one shot. I really enjoyed it!

Jami

Author's Response: Hello there! Wow, thankyou so much for this review!

I'm so glad that you enjoyed this and that Dominique made sense as a character. When I wrote this, it felt more like of a story about an unhealthy, destructive relationship than a story about infidelity, so I was trying to put her weakness and misery at the forefront- it's absolutely wonderful to know that that came off well!

You're completely right about all those emotions, and it's fantastic to know that these things make sense! I think that somebody in Dominique's position would have to be pretty broken up to end up there...

This was such a lovely review to get! You seem to have got exactly what I hoped people would from this story- thank you so much for taking the time to comment on it!

-Bethany


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Review #4, by adluvshp Those Girls

5th May 2013:
Here for the second review (for the review swap).

OMG I loved this! I love angst filled one-shots and this was a treat to read. I have written a Dominique/Teddy/Victoire triangle story myself so I enjoy the scenario immensely and it was great to see how you portrayed it.

I loved your characterisation of Dominique - of the way she compared herself to her fourteen-year-old self, and then to one of "those girls" she had become now. Your descriptions were simply splendid and got across the emotions beautifully. The way she reflected on everything was heart-wrenching and I just wanted to reach out to her and give her a hug.

Teddy seems horrible, but of course if he's toying with his wife and the wife's sister, he's bound to be so.

I also liked your description of Victoire as sweet and innocent, it made everything all the more heartbreaking.

The ending was the most painful though. When Teddy is at the door and Dominique has to made a decision, oh I can imagine her dilemma. It was almost a cliffhanger that you left us at though, I'd have loved to find out whether she let him in or not!

Really though, great story! There's no surprise that you won the first place in the challenge. I really loved it.

10/10
Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hello again! :)

Gotta love angst! I'm so glad you enjoyed reading this, and enjoyed the portrayal of the characters- especially seeing as you've written a Dominique/Teddy/Vic triangle (which I've read, and is great btw!)

I'm so glad that you liked Dominique, because a couple of reviewers have mentioned that she's not very likable. Haha yeah, I think a big hug would sort out a lot of problems for her!

Yeah, Teddy's a bit of jerk. I've always imagined that he might have had a bit of an unstable childhood, and in a way, he's as harmed by the relationship as Dominique... It's great to hear that Victoire came across alright too!

I kind of wanted to leave the ending open for the reader to decide... (and cliffhangers are my guilty pleasure :P)

Thankyou so much for this great reivew! You're too sweet! I'm so happy that you enjoyed it :)

-Bethany


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Review #5, by Illuminate Those Girls

5th May 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

Well, you really have a way with words! This story is so poetic, the story unfolds softly but drammatically over the course of reading it- like a flower.

You describe what Dominique is feeling perfectly, it's completely easy to understand and you begin to really feel for her while being slightly resentful of her for what she's doing to Victoire.

But then Teddy goes to her! Will she accept him? It's a mystery!

Great job!

Author's Response: Hello!
Ahh what a lovely description of the story unfolding like a flower! I feel very honoured by all your kind words!
I'm so glad that Dominique's emotions and actions came across and- above all- were understandable. I do pity her, but she's awful to Victoire... :/
Haha you can pick the ending you want! Glad you enjoyed reading, and thanks for such a wonderful review! :)


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Review #6, by rogue_bludger Those Girls

3rd May 2013:
LOVE this story! this was so brilliantly written! i love how you wove in pieces of their relationship a little at a time, and painted this vivid picture of words so it was almost like i could see Dominique and her coffee. This was seriously a brilliantly written story, and I really enjoyed reading it.
~M

Author's Response: Aww thankyou so much for such a brilliant review! I'm usually catastrophic at structuring, so it's great to hear that it worked in this, and that you could really imagine Dominique :) This really made me smile!

-Bethany


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Review #7, by AlexFan Those Girls

21st April 2013:
Well, this was depressing! I always feel bad for Victoire whenever I read one-shots of Teddy cheating on her with her sisters. I never actually pity Dom in these things and I especially didn't pity her in this. I always find it so difficult to picture Teddy as someone who would cheat on his girlfriend.

Anyway, if I were Dom, I wouldn't let Teddy, if she really was the only one then he would've left Victoire already. Poor Dom, she's in love with a man who's already taken, I hope that she can learn to get on without him again (the femininist in me is outraged at her behaviour. The teenage girl in me is feeling sorry for her however).

Anyway, I enjoyed reading this (despite that my review might sound really negative).

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks for leaving a review :)

It's certainly not the cheeriest thing I've ever written, but I do like a bit of angst now and again! It's interesting that you feel more sorry for Victoire, because I rather think that Dominique's in a worse state than she is, and I certainly think that Victoire has a healthier attitude to life. I guess that everyone has different ideas about the next gen characters, but I don't think Teddy can have had the easiest of childhoods, and in a way, the relationship is destroying him as much as it's destroying Dominique. Maybe I'll try and add something in to make it seem more logical, though.

Haha yeah- I sort of hope she doesn't take him back either, and manage to re-invent herself a bit! The point I was trying to make with this is that the feminist in Dominique is outraged too. She hates her whole situation but doesn't have the means to escape from it, and hates the irony that she used to look down so much on girls who act like she does now. I'm sorry that that didn't seem to come across so much for you.

Thanks again for taking the time to review!


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Review #8, by TheHouseElf Those Girls

14th April 2013:
Hey there! Here from the review tag!

Homg, I entered this challenge too, but now I feel like I have no chance whatsoever :P I loved how you kept the mystery of who was speaking for quite a while, it kept me reading and it wasn't long enough to get me irritated :D

I also loved how you created a definite distinction between the present Dominique and 14 year old Dominique, because people grow and change and this was a fantastic example of that ;)

I also liked the toxicity of Teddy and Dom's relationship. She knows it isn't right and they always fight, yet they always crawl back to each other. In many ways I would perceive them as drug addicts, they are each others heroine- an addiction and a downfall.

I particularly loved the ending, we don't know what Dominique's choice is and you left us on a cliffy that will never be solved. I will be forever wondering if she opened that door or if she opened it, and sometimes, it's good to leave it open for the reader to decide ;)

Great job!

~Aisha

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks for the review :)

I probably shouldn't admit that the not-letting-on-who's-speaking-thing was kinda accidental :P But I'm glad you liked it, and that it didn't get annoying!

I had lots of fun writing adult Dominique looking back on teenage Dominique- it's great to hear that the change in her felt natural, because I worried a little that the transition wouldn't feel natural...

Ahh, the drug addiction thing is such a lovely analogy! I wish I'd thought of that :P You're absolutely right, it's an addiction, and they both kind of hate it, but can't escape from it.

Glad you liked the ending too! I sort of wanted to leave it so that readers could decide for themselves!

Thanks again for such a wonderful review! I'll come and check out your entry too when I get the chance :)

-Bethany


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Review #9, by patronus_charm Those Girls

14th April 2013:
Hello there Iím here with your review for the Mumford & Sons challenge!

Iíve read quite a few Victoire/Teddy/Dom love triangle stories before, but I donít think Iíve come across one quite as convincing as yours. I think the reason why it was so effective was the first paragraph where we get to meet young Dom, and how she was basically talking about the situation she ended up in later. It was a nice use of foreshadowing, and it was nice to see a more innocent Dom.

You conveyed the emotions she was feeling brilliantly. It was so angst filled which I love, as the emotions are so deep and realistic and it was brilliantly done here. Then you could sense how Dom loved Victoire, but she loved Teddy, and it was a question of which love was more powerful. I liked how you added in regret, as I never really come across it much, but it was a bittersweet moment when she was wishing she could be young again.

I really liked your characterisation too. Domís confusion was captured perfectly, and you could tell she was a nice person at heart. I like the intriguing and cynical Teddy you went for, as I think given what happened to his parents, and the way he was brought it could happen. Poor Victoire being analysed for being so happy. Even though she wasnít a main feature of the story, I really did feel for her.

I really liked how the love she felt for Teddy changed as they both aged. It meant the situation they ended up in was more realistic. How he was her hero at a young age, then a lover, now she seemed a bit unsure. I think it was the bit about how he says he will leave Victoire but doesnít, shows that sheís beginning to doubt him and not trust him as much.

Ah the ending! It was perfect. I think the one-shot would have lost itís power if we had a conclusive one, and thatís saying something as I usually hate cliff-hangers. I would like to think Dom would leave him, and that she would do the best for her and her sister, but I guess weíll never know!

It was a great use of the quote, and the results should be up soonish!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: Hello! And thank you for your review!

I'm so glad you liked young Dominique. She's a character I got to know really well when I was writing this, so it's good to know that other people like her too! It's great that you found Teddy and Dominique realistic as well- like you say, Teddy can't have had an easy childhood, and perhaps that's why he's ended up in the situation he's in. Really, I think that he's hardly better off than Dominique...

The emotions were sort of the focal point of this, so you can imagine how happy it makes me to read that they came across well! I like that you liked the development of their relationship- I wanted to lay the foundations for how they all ended up deeply, so that it didn't feel forced...

Ahh I'm so glad to hear the ending came off alright- and from someone who doesn't like cliffhangers!

Thanks again for such a wonderful review, and for all your kind words! This was a great challenge :)

-Bethany x


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Review #10, by TenthWeasley Those Girls

11th April 2013:
Here for the Ravenclaw review battle! This story took me by surprise -- I'm normally not one for next gen, but I saw that this was your latest one-shot and a Mumford & Sons-inspired one besides, and felt obligated to give it a go. And I really, really ended up enjoying this!

I think I've read a sort of tangled Dominique/Teddy/Victoire before, but by and large I was most impressed with yours. I really like your characters and how you wrote them, even though we read about them for less than 2,000 words. They have distinct personalities crafted for them in such a short time, and that is not an easy thing to do, so more kudos to you for that! Dominique especially feels so real, and she's like a real woman, not a caricature or an idea of one.

There are so many emotions woven throughout this -- anger, desire, heartbreak, defiance -- and angst, of course, always angst. ♥ Which is my favorite, to tell you the truth, and you pulled it off very well! I'm sort of attracted to Teddy, no lie, and even though we know he's flighty and unpromising, I think we're meant to be attracted to him, too, because the first person POV means that we are essentially Dominique for a suspended amount of time.

And the ending! I actually LOVE the way you wrote the ending, because it left me hanging -- I don't know whether she's going to let Teddy in, or make him wait, and it sort of kills me, but it makes me think either option is plausible. A pick-your-own-ending, if you will. Oh, not enough people write those. ♥

Your language was really beautiful, too, and there was a cynicism to its beauty that complimented Dominique wonderfully. The metaphor of the arithmetic of Teddy was fantastic! And describing Teddy through the glass as impressionist. ♥ I am seriously so impressed right now. I feel a bit like I'm rambling, but I was very taken with this one-shot. And you should be very proud of it!

If this doesn't at least place in Kiana's challenge, I'll be very surprised for sure. You wrote this very well, and I'm so glad I took the time to read it. Seriously, brilliantly done!

Author's Response: Hello! Wow thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a lovely review! Mumford and Sons are brilliant- I really love them, so I felt I had to do them justice :P

I've wanted to have a go at a Teddy/Dominique/Victoire for a while- I had quite vivid ideas of them in my head, so it's wonderful to hear that that came across. I'm especially glad that Dominique feels like a real person, as that's exactly what I was hoping for :) She has become someone who defines herself by another person, but I wanted to show that she is really more than that.

Hehe I rather like Teddy too :P I think, in a way, he's been damaged as much as Dominique by the relationship- it isn't doing any good for either of them.

It makes me so happy to read your comments about the ending :) I was praying that people would like it!

Thank you so much for all your wonderful words on the language and suchlike. I swear this review is better written than the story :P It's honestly so good to know that you enjoyed it so much. I get a lovely warm feeling inside every time I look at this review... that sounds weird but I'll go with it!

Thank you so much again!


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Review #11, by findasecretgarden Those Girls

9th April 2013:
can i just steal your writing talent and have it please and thank you
this is literally perfection

Author's Response: I can't say how happy I was to read this- thankyou for taking the time to review! :)

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