Reading Reviews for Let The Light In
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by True Author Let The Light In

30th April 2013:
Hi! I'm here to review the entry for my challenge. =]

I liked the idea of this story. A person going away from everything they love here happily is something I've never read here. The happiness was nicely written, though it had a touch of sadness to it. I loved your descriptions too- they were beautifully written.

Oh, the ending!! =[ It breaks my heart to see poor James... He wants to save her and he can't- that's so sad. The idea of the sun setting down was a clever one.

But I thought that your last few paragraphs can be a bit better. You've described your OC's emotions in the first few paragraphs perfectly, but you are not giving enough time to James I think. I couldn't understand why he was laughing and bouncing with her a minute before and then he was crying? I think that you could give a touch of sadness to James before the crying part. I also thought that "I tell him I love him" should be replaced by a dialogue like "I love you," I whispered etc. =]

Otherwise, I really enjoyed reading this. Well done! =] Oh and thanks for your participation in the Single Emotion Challenge. =]

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi Ashwini!!!

Thank you so much!!! I'm glad you liked it. I've never read anything similar as well, so it was something that I wanted to definitely write sometime, and your challenge was just the perfect opportunity!!

Thank you so much for your CC!! I totally understand where you are coming from. I actually wrote this quite last minute, so i wasn't really concerned about making it perfect, as to getting it in as soon as I could. But thank you so much!!! Now that I read it, I myself can see that the second half of it needs some work ;)

I will definitely use your advice, and improve it very soon :) Thank you for such a great challenge!!! I really enjoyed it :D

Thank you for the challenge, and for such a lovely and helpful review :)
- Abhi


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Review #2, by dreamer21 Let The Light In

25th April 2013:
omg no. jamess :(

you need to write more, i would love to read more of it. your flow and everything is fine, better than mine and this is just so sad. i love the scene you described. great shot! keep writing.
Em

Author's Response: :(

I nearly cried when I was writing it. The picture of him and her, and all the feels got to me.

You've said that in both the reviews you've left me!! Maybe I'll expand on it, they both are a little short :/ I'll think about it :) Thank you though!!

It's such a great compliment when someone reads a short piece of your writing and would love to read more. Thank you!!! Your reviews have left me in such a good mood!!! I cant stop smiling!!!

I don't usually write sad stories (as you can tell with the copious amount of fluff on my authors page) and I'm so happy that it actually turned out sad!!!

Thank you so much for your reviews!!! You are so sweet, and such a lovely person!! Don't worry, once life settles down I will keep writing. I love it.

Thank you again!!
- Abhi


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Review #3, by adluvshp Let The Light In

19th April 2013:
Hello! Here to review your entry for my challenge.

Aw this was such a beautifully written piece. I absolutely loved your descriptions. I think you did a great job with the imagery and the colours and such. The plot itself was very nice, though so sad. I liked the concept of her going away so 'happy', almost painlessly, in a fantasy-ish way.

The bit about Cancer was very true and very touching though, and the end, though it broke my heart, it almost made me a smile a small sad smile.

The only CC I have is that the transition from the happy 'fantasy' to the sadness and to the 'cancer' paragraph was a little too abrupt. Maybe you can put in a dividing line there, or another paragraph/sentences to smooth the transition. I also noticed a very small grammar error that you spelt "cheek" as "check".

But apart from that, this was a very well-written touching story, and I liked your writing style as well as plot. Good work!

Thanks for participating in my challenge. You'll know the results in a few weeks/days!

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hi Aditi!!

Thank you so much!! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it!! I had a lot of fun writing it :) I think we all wish that our loved ones pass away painlessly, and I'm glad that it reflected in my story.

Thank you so much for that advice!! Now that I read through it, I realise that it is too abrupt. I will definitely change that asap :) Oh and that spelling error. I really need to proof read things when i'm not deliriously sleepy in the wee hours of the morning. Bad habit ;)

Again, Thank you!!! Looking forward to knowing the results!! Thank you for such a inspiring challenge!!

Thanks as well for such a lovely review!!
- Abhi


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Review #4, by Kristina1990 Let The Light In

7th April 2013:
I guess this kind of "painless departure" is what we wish for all our loved ones, who don't make it through. The one where they are not in pain anymore and can actually be happy again, looking happily forward to the moment they'll be reunited with their family and friends. I think we all hope that they experience their death with less sorrow than we do.

Really beautiful one-shot!

Author's Response: Hey!!

Yeah, don't we all wish that. It's really tough, thinking that they are in pain when they pass away, so we all choose to believe that they aren't, and somehow this makes us feel less guilty about them, and how we all couldn't do much to stop it. Right you are :)

Thank you so much!!! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and got some insight out of it!! I really loved writing it.

Thank you for such a lovely review!!
♥ Abhi


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Review #5, by blue_splash Let The Light In

5th April 2013:
Awww this was beautifully written. I love it. I love the colors and how you use them to describe the world. I love how she twirls and James joins her and that you compare him to the sun. I just love this story!! :D

Author's Response: Hey!!

Omgosh, thank you so much!! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it!!! This review has completely made my day :)

Thanks for such a lovely review!!
- Abhi


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