Reading Reviews for A Minor Setback
  
93 Reviews Found

Review #1, by The Kelpie Chapter the Seventh

18th January 2016:
Hello Little Human.

Guess who? Thatís right. Itís me again.

I really enjoyed this chapter. The Charm Class was amusing. It was so great to see a more fun side to Rose and Seraphina. They are both girls that seem to live by rules and be very obedient and responsible, so it was fun to see them enjoy themselves.

I like the development in the relationship between Albus and Seraphina as well. It seems like I was right in thinking that he is truly into her, and hopefully she will soon realize just how much she likes him too. The kiss should lead to an interesting next chapter, and I canít wait to read it.

I do think she shouldíve told him about the pregnancy though. It was the perfect opportunity. They were alone, and no one wouldíve overheard and made fun of her for her predicament. There are already so many people that know about it, and I think she owe it to him to let him know before more people find out on their own, but then again I am but a kelpie so what do I know? I still havenít managed to make Nessie realize her feelings for Telly, a male kelpie that resides in the Black Lake, so I donít think I should judge her.

Anyway, this is without a doubt one of the better stories I have been told. I wish I wouldíve gotten to know what happened next, but it seems this is the end of my journey. I have enjoyed visiting your page. I hope to back again sometime in the future.

The Kelpie

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Review #2, by The Kelpie Chapter Six

18th January 2016:
Hello Little Human. Do you still remember me?

Yes, I am back to read more of this story.

Wow. I donít think Iíve ever met anyone more stuck-up than this Wesley in my entire life, other than perhaps that Ministry Official that always tries to convince me to willingly go to one of those wizarding zoos in Belgium. He seems like a very unpleasant fellow if you ask me, but then again I have never met him so I should probably not judge him too hard. I would find it rather rude if a man had asked me if I had gained weight. You know Mr Kelpie once told me a very offensive joke, and he hasnít been seen again since. Yes, I do not like rude peopleÖ or water demons.

Itís interesting to see Seraphina develop as a character. It seems like sheís changing as she gets to know new people, and that final scene in the kitchen really shows it. I wonder what sheíll be like at the end of the tale. Itíll be interesting to see.

I must be off again, but I hope to return soon.

The Kelpie

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Review #3, by The Kelpie Chapter the Fifth

18th January 2016:
Hello Little Human.

I am back again to read more of your lovely story.

So itís finally happened, hasnít it? She has gotten those weird cravings that you humans always seem to get when you are pregnant. For us kelpies itís our taste in fish that changes, but it isnít nearly as strange as your weird cravings. She has gotten bigger too. She certainly has an interesting time ahead of her, and she should really hurry up and tell him before he finds out on his own.

Rose was an interesting addition to the story. She seems very smart, especially since she managed to find out about the pregnancy on her own, and I like that Seraphina is bonding with Albusí family, but she should really just tell him. He will probably not be happy if he is the last one in his family to know, so I think she should just tell him.

Christmas Break is coming soon. Iím looking forward to seeing everyoneís reactions to the news. Unfortunately I have to go again. Itís late and my friend Nessie is expecting me to visit. I hope to see you soon.

The Kelpie

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Review #4, by The Kelpie Chapter the Fourth

18th January 2016:
Hello.

I have returned once again to hear more of your story. This is getting very interesting, so I simply have to know what happens next.

I am really falling in love with the friendship between Seraphina and Lily. I definitely agree that having a friend that always speaks her mind is refreshing, and you always know where you have them, no surprises there. Selma has always been brutally honest too, but she has a heart of gold. She means well, just like Lily.

I think it was interesting to see more of a friendship between Albus and Seraphina as well. You could definitely see a development in this chapter, a small one of course, but at least itís moving forward.

What I found really interesting was the end of the story. So far the novel has had a very light and humorous tone, but it becomes really serious in the end of this chapter. Itís like Seraphina is finally understanding how big a mistake she made. McGonagall was a tad too strict I think, but then Hogwarts is an old-fashioned school, and they are responsible for taking care of minors. So obviously they would have rules to ensure nothing like this would happen, because if not parents would get angry I think, and breaking them would probably have some sort of punishment too.

I must say itís really interesting to read about humans and how they deal with an unexpected pregnancy, as we kelpies would never get in situation like that.

I wish I could stay longer, but itís getting dark again. I must be going back to the sea. I hope to see you soon though.

The Kelpie

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Review #5, by The Kelpie The Chapter After Number Two

18th January 2016:
Hello. Did you miss me?

Yes, I am back again to read more of this fantastic story.

I think I really like this Lily. She certainly has a temper, doesnít she? In fact she reminds me a little of my friend, Selma. She resides in the northern seas, so we do not see each other regularly, but she has such a temper. Impossible to argue with too. In other word, she is very much like this Lily.

I had to laugh reading this chapter. Out of all of the things that Seraphina could yell out, it had to be something so embarrassing. Of course we kelpies donít have the problem that your females have, but I can certainly understand her embarrassment over the whole situation. I am, however, glad it made Lily realize that Seraphina telling Albus about her pregnancy in front of the whole school, wouldíve been very humiliating for the both of them.

I do think she tell me soon though. He deserves to hear it from her, and not his sister or the school nurse.
Oh well, would you look at the time! I must be off again. I hope to see you again soon, little human.

The Kelpie

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Review #6, by The Kelpie The Second Chapter

18th January 2016:
Hello. Itís me again.

I have returned to hear more of the story.

Oh my. This is turning into a mess, isnít it? Seraphina really should tell Albus about the baby, but then I guess it really isnít that easy to do. I would not know of course, because we kelpies donít bond with our children they way you humans do, but it certainly doesnít seem like an easy thing to say.

I am really looking forward to seeing how this will turn out now that Lily knows about the pregnancy. That certainly has to push Seraphina into revealing it quicker. I have the feeling Lily will be understand though, and that she will help Seraphina out a lot, but yes, it will certainly be interesting to see how this will turn out.

Iím afraid Iíll have to hurry back to sea again. Itís getting darker, and itís never safe to be out in a dangerous place after dark. I really hope to see you again soon.

The Kelpie

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Review #7, by The Kelpie Chapter of the First

18th January 2016:
Hello Little Human.

Iím just another magical creature thatís making its presence at HPFF known. And after galloping out of the sea and then across four countries and two oceans, I am happy to finally be here to visit your story.

I think this is a lovely way to start your novel. Seraphina is already a recognizable and relatable character, and that is truly impressive considering this is only your first chapter.

I think it will be interesting to see how she will react to the news of her pregnancy. Not the mention her motherís reaction, since she was after all the one that told her to go to more parties and have more fun.

I also look forward to seeing more of Albus. Iím just a sea demon of course, so I donít have a lot of experience with love, but it does seem like he is truly into her. The question is simply how he will react to the news of her pregnancy. I think he will support her, he seems like the type to do that.

Wish I could stay here a little bit longer, but unfortunately itís not safe for us kelpies to stay out of the sea for too long. I hope to return again soon.

The Kelpie

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Review #8, by kittycat109 Chapter the Seventh

6th January 2016:
awesome chapter! please update soon :)

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Review #9, by ThePotterhead Chapter the Fifth

30th November 2015:
OMG!
at first when I was looking at the reveiws for this story I was very confused about your reply to a review that said that Albus was going to find out about the pregnancy in the most awkward way possible. I spent almost half an hour trying to figure it out. while re-reading the story I had a brainwave, and I think I know how Al will find out. I am SUPER exited for that chapter! please UPDATE SOON cuz you've got me hooked.

Author's Response: Well when I do post the chapter of Albus finding out, I hope you let me know whether your guess was right or not. I'll definitely be coming back to this story in 2016.

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Review #10, by :) Chapter the Seventh

30th November 2015:
PLEASE UPDATE

I LOVE this story and am constantly checking to see if you have updated. please don't give up on this story. I can't wait for albus to find out.

Author's Response: I definitely haven't given up I'm so terribly sorry for making everyone wait so long but everything has been so hectic these past two years and fanfiction kind of got pushed down to the bottom of my list of priorities (and I'll admit I briefly entertained the idea of giving up on this story and quickly dismissed the notion) and I'm hoping that around the beginning of 2016 I'll finally be able to get back to writing this (I'm working on finishing my short stories right now and then coming back to this). I've got the next ten to twelve chapters fully planned out I just haven't gotten them written down is all.

Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #11, by RupertsPheonix Chapter the Seventh

24th February 2015:
I love Albus/OC stories. :)

Interesting cliffhanger you left us with here. I'm anxious to see the reaction, and will her reaction include spilling the beans about her pregnancy??

Looking forward to an update,
Kate/rp

Author's Response: I was so surprised to get this review on the 24th! Thank you so much for leaving this on the story!

I've actually got the first little bit of chapter 8 written out for like two years now but I think I'm going to be rewriting it and changing Seraphina's reaction to this, sadly, it does not include her spilling the beans to Albus (although I honestly promise that that is going to be coming up soon)!

Again, thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #12, by newgenerationlover Chapter of the First

1st August 2014:
Hi! Here for BvB!

Ep! She's pregnant! Not usually a big fan of hogwarts/pregnancy stories, but something about this one caught my eye and I'm sure glad it did. Loving Seraphina and all her quirkiness and straight-laced-ness (though that's not exactly a word but oh well). She is a very believable character which I have to give you a round of applause for as because of the type of character she is, it would be extremely easy for her to fall into the Mary Sue category.

Already sensing a little crush on Albus' part, am I right *smirks* He is so adorable and I already am shipping them! Why does she have to be so mean?! Ok, well I know why but I just wish she wasn't because they would be so cute together and make beautiful little children (already got that step done am I right? *wink wink*) Ok, so, I'll wrap it up here, you got a wonderful story and I will definitely keep reading!

xoxo
Mary

Author's Response: HELLO MARY!

I haven't read many pregnancy fics myself, just two so I can understand what you mean by not reading them often. It's always a relief to hear that a character isn't a Mary Sue and I'm really happy to hear that you think that Seraphina is believable.

OH MY GOSH YOU'RE ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE TO CATCH ONTO THE FACT THAT ALBUS HAS A CRUSH ON SERAPHINA CONGRATULATIONS! A lot of people thought it weird that he was paying so much attention to her but you're one of the few people who actually got it right! HISTORY IS WHY SHE IS MEAN TO HIM IF YOU DECIDE TO KEEP READING.

Thanks so much for your awesome review!


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Review #13, by ginnypotter242 Chapter the Seventh

10th July 2014:
Gah! I can't even put this into words, that's how brilliant this entire chapter was (especially the ending).

I liked the part during Charms class, it was nice to see a looser side to Rose and Seraphina. Relaxing a letting go should be good for them, and I was glad that they were able to do that.

Lysander and Lorcan are smart little ones aren't they? So, did they figure out that she was pregnant, and then assume it was Albus' from there? Or did they realize she slept with him, and then decide she was pregnant? They're clever manipulator's, I'll give you that. I love how you write them.

The talk with Al. Oh, I could say so much about this, but it was perfect. Telling him what she felt that night was great, and I can't believe she still won't let herself feel anything. I'm even more intrigued to know what happened between Al and Phina when they were little. Albus apparently still thinks of them as good friends, and I'm thinking he likes her as well (considering he kissed her. Ya know, I'm good at observations.) I wish she had told him that she was pregnant though! If she doesn't tell him soon I'm going to freak! He needs to know, though after this chapter it will be a certain twist for Al!

He kissed her! I think I literally squealed out loud when I read that, I wasn't expecting it at all. I;m very happy he did though (also hoping that she doesn't slap him or run away next chapter). I can't wait to see her reaction! Update soon, I can' wait for the next chapter :D

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

Author's Response: Yay, you're all caught up on the story!

GAH! I'M SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOU LOVED THIS CHAPTER!

Of course they're smart boys! They are the sons of Luna Lovegood, and as crazy as she could be, Luna was a smart cookie. They were probably looking around their room for something and probably found something that belonged to Seraphina and came to the conclusion that she had spent the night in their dormitory, or they noticed that Albus had disappeared from the party when they last saw him talking to Seraphina and when they couldn't find her they put two and two together. Really, the possibilities are endless.

Well, after what happened when they were little, WHICH I'M NOT GOING TO SPOIL, would leave Seraphina with her guard up no matter what she admitted. Feelings can be pretty scary if you've been shutting them off for as long as she has. No need to freak, Albus is going to find out about the pregnancy in the next two chapters at the most.

I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU'RE HAPPY WITH THE KISS! but I don't think you're going to be very happy with how Seraphina responds in the next chapter of the story (it's not exactly a declare-my-love-for-you kind of reaction).

As soon as my beta has gone through all of these chapters, I'm going to finish chapter eight and then it'll be up.

Thank you so much for reviewing each and every chapter of this story!


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Review #14, by ginnypotter242 Chapter Six

10th July 2014:
Well, Wesley doesn't seem like the nicest person in the world. He seems like an even more stuffed-up version of Percy. You *never* insult a girls weight (granted, the girl in question s pregnant and doesn't really care at all...but it's the principle of the thing!) That's just rude. Anyway, I liked Seraphina's little piece of advice to the girl she caught- she'll probably figure out what she meant in a couple months, even if she was beyond confused at the time.

The kitchen scene was lovely. It was really funny, and I'm glad we could see that side to Albus, Lorcan and Lysander. The new side to Seraphina was great too- I'm so glad she didn't get them in trouble! They seemed very confused that she didn't, and it was adorable how they kept *asking* if she was going to give them detention. She had a total innocent face- I hope it was better than Rose or Lily's was! Thank goodness Wesley didn't catch them, or find out that she let them go. If McGonagall had found out, Seraphina probably would have lost her badge. Great job on this story, and I loved the Sheldon Cooper comment.

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

Author's Response: I can't believe that you actually made it all the way to chapter 6!

Wesley is definitely not the nicest person in the world at all, I didn't intend for him to be. I feel like insulting a girls weight is a low blow because you could be hitting a very sore spot and for some people they know that it's a sore spot for someone.

The kitchen scene was actually my favourite bit to write just because it sounded like it would've been a really funny scene in my head if I had witnessed it. Seraphina isn't the type of person to let people off the hook for breaking the rules, and they're aware of that.

I don't think McGonagall would've taken away Seraphina's badge just because she let off some students with a warning, given her a scolding and another warning sure, but taking her badge away for something so small seems a bit extreme.

Thank you so much for reviewing!


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Review #15, by ginnypotter242 Chapter the Fifth

10th July 2014:
Ooh, looks like those weird cravings are starting to kick in! Methinks people are going to start to talk soon. I really hope Seraphina tells Albus soon- at least she knows that she can't wait until after the holidays to do it. I think he's getting rather suspicious now.

Rose is smart! And rather blunt- seems like she's a perfect mixture of Ron and Hermione. I'm glad to see Seraphina's mask drop a little bit, and see more of her than what she wants people to see. It's interesting to see her personality progress, especially as she gets more close friends. I like that Lily and Rose stick by her, that's what I think that the Wotter's would do in situations like this.

More people are finding out, which means Albus is going to find out soon! ican't wait to see his reaction. I'm very glad that Seraphina realized that she can't make any permanent decisions without talking to Albus about them! This was a great chapter :)

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

Author's Response: Almost finished responding to all of your reviews!

The weird food cravings are a little tricky for me because I've never been pregnant so it's kind of like, "WHAT WEIRD THINGS DO PREGNANT WOMEN EAT? WHAT IS ACCEPTABLE IN THIS CASE?" Promise that she's going to tell Albus before the holidays and that it's going to be soon.

I don't know why but I like writing blunt characters, they're a lot more fun than the ones that are always nice. Naturally Seraphina's personality is going to change a little bit because our situations and environment do have an effect on who we are as people. Who knows, maybe Phina will stop being so cold and distant all the time.

Thanks again for reviewing!


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Review #16, by ginnypotter242 Chapter the Fourth

10th July 2014:
Seraphina and Lily's friendship makes me extremely happy. Lily is going to be the baby's aunt, so it's a good thing that they're getting close! Of course, that is unless Seraphina decides to put it up for adoption. I think that she should talk to Albus first though- tell him that she's pregnant for one, and then get his input on what to do. It's his baby too! That being said, I hope she tells Albus soon. If she waits much longer, she's going to start showing, and then he's definitely going to find out. He's probably not going to be happy with her (or Lily) for keeping it from him for so long either.

The part with McGonagall was very serious, but I think that was good. It is a very serious topic, and making it light and humorous would have detracted from such a serious topic, not to mention been rather off character for both McGonagall and Seraphina. I like that you kept them both in character, even if it did make the scene rather serious. Great chapter, I'm really enjoying this story!

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you like their friendship because I adore their friendship as well and I love writing scenes with the two of them together. I'm debating whether or not Seraphina is going to put the baby up for adoption actually. It's a really difficult decision for me to make because I can see where I would go with the story with either choice. Of course she's going to get Albus's input on what they're going to do. I don't know about how soon Seraphina is going to start showing because I keep hearing that the first time you get pregnant, it's not as noticeable so I'm pretty sure that she's got a few more weeks before Seraphina enters hot water. I don't think anyone would be very happy to find out that the person who's carrying their child was keeping the information from them for so long.

I had planned for the talk with McGonagall for a really long time. This wouldn't be something that would be let go very easily in any school. There would need to be arrangements made for the student so that they could either finish their education or leave.

Thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #17, by ginnypotter242 The Chapter After Number Two

10th July 2014:
Well, Lily definitely has her mother's temper! She got a lot angrier than I expected her to. I can see where Lily would be coming from, annoyed at girls throwing themselves at her brother. Though, if Albus and Seraphina were friends when they were little, wouldn't Lily know that she wasn't exactly like that? Granted, I suppose people can change in 7+ years. She overreacted a bit, which I guess is a family trait.

That part in the Great Hall was great. Albeit, dragging her in the gloves that she had been using to clean the hospital wing is more than a little disgusting. But the scene was hilarious! Poor Lily, that's got to embarrassing. She was probably so humiliated! And Al seemed so awkward, I think that was the last thing he was expecting (though the pregnancy might come in a close second). I'm glad that Lily realized that it would have been humiliating for Seraphina to announce that she was pregnant in front of the whole school. I hope that she tells Albus soon though! Having Lily know now helps a little bit- I have a feeling that she'll be more pushy than Madame Pomfrey with making her tell him. Great job on this chapter, it flows really well!

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

Author's Response: Well I mean, Lily's entire family is always in the spotlight and she is perfectly aware of the fact that a lot of these girls don't like Albus because of who he is as a person. And the stuff that went on between Seraphina and ALbus was when they were around nine and ten, Lily was seven or eight around that time. And yeah, people definitely do change, especially teenagers, in 7+ years so unless Lily had some interaction with Seraphina no matter how small, I don't think that she would have a very clear idea of what this girl was about. She may have overreacted but you're right, that does run in the family (LOOKING AT YOU RON).

The pregnancy would've been tied in terms things that Albus would've found unexpected, it might've even ranked a little bit higher. At least now that Lily was humiliated in front of the entire school, she has some idea of what it would've been like if Seraphina had been in her place. Seraphina is going to tell Albus eventually, don't worry, he's going to find out about her before they leave for Christmas break.

Thank you so much for reviewing!


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Review #18, by ginnypotter242 The Second Chapter

10th July 2014:
Oh, she needs to tell him! I think he's going to start noticing soon. Especially now that Lily knows- that isn't good! I'll bet she was shocked to hear that, I wonder how she's going to handle that. he confrontation between Albus and Seraphina was good, and I'd love to find out more about what happened when they were younger! You've got my interest in that :) I love how socially awkward Seraphina is- she doesn'tknwo how to act around people, or what is socially acceptable with friends. It's sweet, and I'd love to see her explore deeper relationships as time goes on.

I see trouble coming with Lily finding out. Is she going to help Seraphina, or go running to Al? I've seen her written in many different ways, so I'minterested to see how you characterize her. I'm glad somebody knows now though- Seraphina isn't going to be able to keep this secret much longer, no matter how much she wants to. Great chapter!

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

Author's Response: Phina definitely needs to tell him. Pretty sure that at some point everyone is going to start noticing that Phina is pregnant (then again, people couldn't tell my mom was pregnant with me until around seven months so we'll see).

You're definitely going to find out more about what happened when they were younger. There's actually going to be a chapter where Seraphina basically gives Albus a good tongue lashing about what happened when they were younger.

I'm glad to hear that you like the fact that she doesn't know what's socially acceptable around friends and strangers (a problem that I also sometimes struggle with).

Of course there's going to be trouble with Lily having found out, this is a girl with the blood of Potter and Weasley in her, something is going to go wrong.

Thank you so much for reviewing!


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Review #19, by ginnypotter242 Chapter of the First

10th July 2014:
This seems like a good start to the story. I like Seraphina so far, she definitely has a unique characteristic. Most of the time, I see characters that are driven for a certain role, but still party and have a ton of friends- somehow it all works out that they're super serious as well. I'm glad you didn't do that. You made her goals and personality match up.

I liked Albus as well, he seemed sweet, though still having a touch of his parent's tempers. I can't wait to see what happens when she tells him that she's pregnant.

Madame Pomfrey's reaction was good, but I feel like she would have been a little more shocked. Or perhaps, given her more information. She probably wouldn't have forced Seraphina to tell anybody just yet, but she probably would have suggested talking to someone or given her pregnancy pamphlets, or made an appointment. I do like how you wrote her though, calm and helping keep Seraphina calm.

So far, I think this story has a lot of promise. Nice chapter, and I will be reading the rest!

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you so much for taking the time to review all seven chapters of this!

Yeah I've never really know how one would manage to have all of that, I mean, I do a lot of stuff academically and I don't have the time to go to parties. Someone like Seraphina wouldn't waste her time with social events.

You and a bunch of other people are also looking forward to the reveal to Albus and I'm excited to write the scene where he finds out!

As a matron, Madame Pomfrey would've definitely had to be calm in a situation like this, the last thing that you would want to do is to increase your patients anxiety.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #20, by Lululuna Chapter the Seventh

6th July 2014:
Hi again Grace! Woop, I'm all caught up! :D

This was such a great chapter, quite possibly my favourite so far. I think there's something really interesting about seeing Seraphina's everyday Hogwarts life and the wizarding details that make the story and the setting unique, like Flitwick getting Levitated every class and the trials of learning the Aguamenti charm. Rose, again, is a little mean but her abruptness sort of suits Seraphina: it's too bad they weren't friends before!

Ah, poor Albus has no idea what's going on. I really hope she tells him soon because if he's pursuing her without knowing then he's really setting both of them up to get hurt. The kiss and all the confessions were really romantic and sweet, but ultimately this baby is going to change everything and put romantic feelings on the backburner: the baby and preparing for it should be their priority! I'm still thinking that Seraphina hasn't really processed the news properly yet, she's being a bit stubborn and although I love her interactions with Al she needs to face the issue of being a mother head on.

This was a great chapter and I'm so pleased I'm finally caught up. I'll be favouriting this and keeping an eye out for the next chapter, and of course checking my email for chapters ready to be beta-read! :)

House Cup 2014

Author's Response: Hey there! Finally made it through the entire story!

I'm glad that you enjoyed this chapter so much. I tried to put in as much detail about Seraphina's life without making it too boring and I remembered Flitwick being flown across the room from the books so I figured that was probably still happening.

She's going to tell him soon, I promise! At the most in the next five or so chapters but probably sooner. Most likely in two chapters, but really, maybe in one. Seraphina has most definitely not come to terms that she is in fact going to be a mother but that's also happening in the next chapter so that's going to be interesting to write.

To be honest, I thought that you would find out the story one chapter at a time as I sent it to you but it was a nice surprise to find all of these reviews of yours that you left me!


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Review #21, by Lululuna Chapter Six

6th July 2014:
Hi!!!

Wesley sounds like such a character, haha. It's funny how Seraphina is generally a little cold and a bit of a kill joy to others but he seems even more extreme. I was wondering how she knew who Sheldon Cooper was - you might not even need to use his name, but could show instead of reference how Wesley has Sheldon-like attributes with examples and interactions. So just a thought there, unless she watches Muggle TV. :)

Both the broom cupboard rant (and I totally see her point, haha) and the food fight made me laugh while reading this, they were so well written and amusing. I especially liked her adoration and excitement over the cheesecake - and I'm jealous she got to eat some! How sheepish the boys were was so endearing too. It's nice to see Al and Seraphina and his friends all bond a bit even if they are being a little slow to catch on to her being a nice Head Girl.

House Cup 2014

Author's Response: Wesley and Seraphina are really similar so it's probably why they clash, as you can already tell but he's definitely more extreme and even Seraphina realises that the dude's a little crazy. Oh yeah, that's why Seraphina made the Sheldon Cooper reference because she watches muggle TV at home (honestly, what do wizards do without a television).

The food fight scene was actually my favourite one to write in the chapter but I was worried that it was OOC for Seraphina to let them off the hook about it so I'm actually really relieved that you liked it and thought it well-written.

They'll eventually find out that she's not as bad as she seems. Seraphina only bites sometimes.

Thank ya for reviewing again!


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Review #22, by Lululuna Chapter the Fifth

6th July 2014:
Hi Grace!

At first, I really didn't like Rose, haha. She was just so rude with saying how Seraphina was getting fat and then not even asking if she was okay, but demanding to know who the father was. But she definitely grew on me a little later on in the chapter with how she was actually being supportive and offering her friendship and help. That's what Seraphina really needs right now, and she should tell Albus for her own sake and on her own terms, not simply because it's the right thing to do. She's in a pretty delicate situation and should be able to handle it how she wants.

I liked the description at the end of the chapter with the long shadows and how she was feeling contented and tired. Those descriptions of Hogwarts and the setting are so great and really situate the story in the magical world which is awesome.

I'm still very curious about her parents and their reaction and what exactly they're going to say. It's been a bit easier for her so far since her parents are out of sight and out of mind but Christmas should be quite exciting.

House Cup 2014

Author's Response: Everyone in the Weasley-Potter family has this habit for being really blunt as I've come to notice. Rose and Seraphina share a dormitory so I guess even if she and Phina weren't friends, Rose would still know a little bit about Seraphina. If it had been a normal day, Seraphina probably wouldn't have cared how she looked but because she's pregnant, it's a big concern.

Everyone's mentioned her telling Albus because I can picture exactly how she's going to tell him and it's going to be the most awkward thing ever and I'm just super excited.

I get really serious about my description whenever the character is alone for whatever reason. I just keep chanting to myself that the reader must feel how it's supposed to feel to the character.

I've also got the whole parents finding out scene mapped out in my head, and some of it is even written down so that'll be happening soon as well.

Thanks again for reviewing!


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Review #23, by Lululuna Chapter the Fourth

6th July 2014:
Hola!

Eep, I forgot to put "House Cup 2014" at the end of the last chapter - fail. :P Ah well.

It's exciting for me to get to chapter four since I haven't met it yet with beta-ing! Woop!

I was actually a little unimpressed with how McGonagall was saying that Seraphina getting pregnant was breaking a rule! It seems a bit draconian for the school administration to interfere into students' intimate lives, to be honest, and policing sex is a bit extreme though I suppose Hogwarts is old fashioned. Though to be fair Seraphina is being punished enough with having her whole world turned upside-down so having her privileges taken away would just be cruel.

Hmm, I'm excited to see her consider adoption even more! I've never read/seen a teen pregnancy story on here where the character seriously considers adoption or goes through with it so I'm really looking forward to see how you handle it. It still feels like she hasn't really realized the implications of having a baby so it will be interesting to see her go through all of that.

The moment with Lily was so sweet! I'm glad she has that support system and Lily is quite adorable with how caring she is towards her. They make excellent friends. ♥

Okay, so now I'm really curious to hear more about Sera's family and her history. Are they Quidditch players or famous somehow but she keeps it quiet? Has she told her parents about being pregnant yet?!! Ahh, that sounds like a scary conversation.

Another very interesting chapter, onto the next one I go! :)

House Cup 2014

Author's Response: Bonjour!

I can see where you're coming from and I do agree that Hogwarts is old-fashioned but I guess I can kind of see where McGonagall is coming. I think if it had been any ordinary student, there might have been consequences but it wouldn't have been that big of a deal and adjustments would have been made if they chose to attend Hogwarts. That being said, Seraphina is the Head Girl and the Head Girl is supposed to be an example for younger students so having a Head Girl get pregnant wouldn't really be sending out the message that the staff would want. And besides, you would want to keep a teenage pregnancy from happening at Hogwarts because you wouldn't want to hinder your students education and make their life more difficult by having a child on the way. It would make it really difficult for the students to go onto further education and training in well-paying jobs if they have a kid to look after.

But because this is Seraphina and she's not one to give up easily, something positive might come out of the situation instead of something negative because it tells everyone else at Hogwarts, "Don't make my mistake but if you do, your life isn't over."

And can you imagine going up the stairs at Hogwarts while pregnant, that's reason alone to keep it all in your pants.

I've actually been debating about whether or not to end the story with Seraphina putting her child up for adoption or something like that. I really like the idea and I'm considering it as an alternative ending. I can definitely see what I could write a sequel about if she does put her child up for adoption. Well, I'll be talking to you about this anyway so we'll see how it goes.

There's a couple of Quidditch players in her family but for the most part everyone is just really invested in the game like the world gets really intense about football(soccer). And no, she has not told her parents that she'd pregnant but that scenes should be coming up soon!

Thank you again for the review!


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Review #24, by Lululuna The Chapter After Number Two

6th July 2014:
Hi again! :)

Lily is just such a character, haha. I loved this chapter and just how nervous Seraphina was which translated to me because I was so worried about her being publicly embarrassed. The tampon excuse really is a stroke of genius because it's the sort of awkward, random thing that doesn't really make sense, but Seraphina shows how she's good at thinking on her feet with mentioning how Al was using tampons for pranks.

The hug at the end is just so cute! I like the sound of Auntie Lily, haha, and I'm looking forward to seeing their relationship develop as friends. You did a really good job of showing how Lily is quite moody and how her reactions to things can change very impulsively: she's a bit of a foil to Seraphina in a way who is quite methodological.

Another great chapter! :)

Author's Response: I've actually got no idea how on earth I came up with the tampon excuse, the only thing that I remember about coming up with that bit was trying to think of something that would be embarrassing for a girl and being on the time of the month always seems to be embarrassing for girls for some reason so I went with that.

I'm looking forward to writing their friendship. Seraphina leads quite an uneventful life (well, at least up until now) and Lily's going to be that bit of spontaneity that keeps Phina's life interesting.

Thanks again for the review!


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Review #25, by Lululuna The Second Chapter

6th July 2014:
Hi again Grace! :)

Aww, another lovely shout-out at the bottom! :) I'm happy to help!

I'm so curious right now about their friendship before Hogwarts and how that ties into Seraphina's current character. She's so prickly and guarded, and I wonder if Albus not being her friend when they were at Hogwarts has something to do with that. You've definitely caused me to be very curious!

Poor Seraphina, she truly doesn't think she's funny, and that's sad because she actually can be quite witty. I think her dry way of talking and stating the obvious is quite entertaining, in fact. One thing I'm excited to see more of as well are her reactions to the actual pregnancy and how this will impact her life: right now I feel like she's fixating on Al, which is fine and gives her something to focus on, but soon she will have to face the fact that she's going to be a mother and her life is going to change dramatically.

Oh dear, the Lily cliff-hanger: reading this even stressed me out even though I know what happens! :P But Seraphina's awkward handling of awkward situations are part of what makes her so endearing, so it's so fun seeing how she handles them.

Another great chapter! :)

House Cup 2014

Author's Response: Hey again Jenna!

Expect to see a shout-out in every chapter because that's how I roll.

We will see exactly how Albus is connected to her and just how big of an impact he was on Seraphina's life. The suggestion was actually made by a reviewer who pointed out that ALbus needed to have some sort of connection to Seraphina otherwise the amount of attention that he was paying her would've been a little bit weird.

The fact that Seraphina doesn't find herself funny is actually one of my favourite characteristics about her. You bring up a very good point that I keep forgetting to talk about so I'm going to keep Seraphina's own reaction something to mention in the story in the next chapters or two that I post!

Thank you so much for reviewing again!


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