Reading Reviews for Flicker
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Violet Gryfindor Flicker

29th August 2013:
Wow! There's a lot to this story, and I've read it a couple of times so that I can take it all in. It's beautifully written, another fine example, not only of your fantastic writing style, but also of your work with minor characters, filling out their backstories in creative and complex ways that makes them come alive. This story, for instance, feels like it has a whole novel behind it of Dorcas's life and her history with Benjy and the things she did that lead up to these final moments. At the same time, this one-shot is perfectly contained, mostly because of the stylistic features - the repetition, the movement from "he was coming" to his arrival, etc. It makes for a fantastic one-shot.

This is a haunting story, its use of repetition and imagery forming a ghostly, surreal atmosphere. Nebulous comes to mind too because, even before the end, it's as though Dorcas is wandering in a fog, the world already fading around her before death comes. At first I read the "he was coming" as referring to Benjy, but when I re-read the story, it hit me that it was Voldemort coming to kill her. Yet I love how it's unclear, how she's also waiting for Benjy to return and how, in her mind, he does. Because of this, she accepts Death, reconstructing Voldemort as Benjy so that she can greet Death as an old friend, and thus, in JKR's world, die a hero. In this way, to answer your question, she is the kind of person Voldemort would want to kill himself because she proves herself to be stronger than he is, even in the midst of her weakness. Does that make sense? I even think that you portrayed Death as doubled, at once the negative, traditional figure of the Grim Reaper/ Voldemort and the positive, welcoming figure of Benjy. What's important for your story is that Dorcas chooses the latter.

The tragedy is that fighting against Voldemort and the Death Eaters breaks Dorcas down in this way. She literally fades or disintegrates as she wanders through Diagon Alley, waiting for Death, the world crumbling around her. Benjy's death has a lot to do with it, of course, but she also seems like someone under intense pressure who can no longer continue on. From what one can gather from canon, the First Wizarding War was even more brutal than the second, and I wouldn't be surprised if even the bravest broke down because of it - it was an incredibly dirty war, and until Voldemort's destruction, it was also a war the Order was losing. So your characterization of Dorcas is realistic as she unravels, recognizing that she's abandoning her cause at the same time that she knows it's a losing cause, and no matter if she lives or dies, it can only fail. And you capture this in the rhythm of her words, the broken sentences and dulled senses - like she says a few times to herself, she's already dying, already dead by the time that Voldemort kills her.

It's haunting - moving, too, the kind of story that sticks to one afterwards. You did amazing work in putting this together.

Author's Response: Hey Susan! I was really blown away by this review for some reason. I think it's because you're one of the few reviewers who really got this to the full extent that i intended it to be. I don't even know if i have the words to explain how excited I was to read this. You've always been a really thoughtful and insightful reviewer. I'm really pleased you read it a second time as I think it's then that the story begins to make more sense. :)

It does make sense what you said. The idea that she's accepted death, waits for it, wants it even because it's welcoming her to a place of rest. Welcoming her back to Benjy. She conquers death because it isn't a scary thing anymore and she understands that her time is limited and it doesn't scare her like it does Voldemort. She'd rather be out there in the thick of things, in the shadows and the darkness like she was in life rather than hiding away in a house, waiting for the inevitable. She would not cower like Voldemort would in the face of death. That's what makes her such a great character to me. That although she's faded, she still opens her arms to death which is really Benjy and for some reason she transcends the experience. She does die a hero in my eyes although she's given up on the cause and sees no more light. She steps out of the light because of that very reason.

It doesn't make what happened anything to be happy about though. As you stated, there is this fading of her, the darkness has overtaken someone who i've tried to portray as a strong person and that makes this story sad. It makes it seem like it's a failure. But, for me, it shows the causality of war. The chaos of it, and how it takes the strongest and destroys even that bit of light. In a way it has destroyed her and yet she choses to welcome the only thing that is left for her. Which is death and Benjy. She takes what she can, becomes better than the one who kills her.

I'm really pleased you read this and thought it was good. I'm still just so overwhelmed with this review because you put into words some of the hazy thoughts i had of this story ! Thank you so much for stopping by and reviewing!!


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Review #2, by Mnemosyne_Morrigan Flicker

6th August 2013:
Why I found this story so late?!

Now I feel that time, when I wasn't reading it, is wasted. Diving into this story in some odd way fulfilled me.

It's powerful.

And the repetition of "He was coming" is like a resounding sound of bell, that augurs the inevitable.

You captured and abducted me into this dark, bitter, yet amazing world. Yes, the darkness is significant. Not only in those shadows of night and danger, but within Dorcas. She's waiting for death, but at the same time she IS death. Each word you've put, I felt it like an emotion. Every one of those words had it's own meaning, own life. As they took away her life and hope. The atmosphere you've created made me conected - like I could feel her trembling, her gasps, her heartbeat.

I'm a sucker for descriptions and your style amazes me. You paint the story so vividly. I never saw Diagon Alley in the way you describe it. Thrilling.

For some incomprehensible reason, I chose a favourite line. And it's not "He was coming" ;) It's simple, but for me charged with bitter, dying emotion:
"the way her heart beat slower each day, like the dying of a metronome"

Author's Response: This's one fo the biggest compliments someone has every given me that my little story fulfilled them in some way. Thank you so much. I'm really pleased that you felt so as i've always felt that this one-shot was a bit too hazy for people to really love or enjoy. It's always a surprise to me to hear that someone really felt the story i was writing. This was no surprise and i'm really pleased that you felt everything that Dorcas was. That was important to me with this, that everything she's experiencing and how far she is falling but not quite giving up the reader was right there with her on the roller coaster.

I'm pleased you enjoyed how i discribed diagon alley. I can imagine it beign a dark place, especially in times of war where the shadows grow deeper and the darkness spreads. Something that many on this site and who read probably associate with light and brightness as it was Harry's first introduction to the world is now changed. I find that to be quite impacting for myself to see the darkness take over. It's like innocence lost in a way.

Thanks you so much or not only the review but for nominating this story TWICE for a Dobby. I really, really appreciate it!!


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Review #3, by ShadowRose Flicker

4th April 2013:
ShadowRose here, with your requested review!

Wow, this is really powerful one-shot - I could tell immediately.

I like that you focused on the minor characters, because that never seems to happen very much, and minor characters are just so much fun to write about, in my opinion.

The repetition of "He was coming" really ties the whole story together, constantly reminding the reader that she's basically waiting for her own death, instead of just casually pondering her life. She's facing death, and it just makes it all that more dramatic.

The entire one-shot is kind of mysterious, and there are a lot of things that aren't explained to the reader. Of course, since this is a short little piece, that's perfectly acceptable, as there's no way you could explain everything in such a short span of time. It also adds this nice little aura of confusion on the reader, which I like.

Your descriptions are beautiful, and quite vivid. I can clearly see everything you describe, from Dorcas's complexion to the abandoned street. I LOVE description, so reading all of this made me quite happy.

You really do tap into her emotions, showing the pain of love lost. Her sense of hopelessness and sadness is quite tangible, and gives the reader a clear insight into what she's thinking.

I would have loved to see you develop each of the characters a little more, but as I said earlier, it's a one-shot, so you are somewhat limited. It might have been nice to focus a little bit on Dorcas's past, on what made her so special that Voldemort had to kill her himself.

Right at the end, I noticed a few little spelling errors. Both "tilted" and "Dorcas" are misspelled in the last paragraph or two. Other than that, I really didn't notice much to CC on.

This was beautifully written, and I really enjoyed reviewing it!

-ShadowRose

Author's Response: Thank you for your lovely review. I'm sorry for the late response! I've been so behind on responses to reviews and I thought today would be the day to try and catch up!

Thanks for this! I'm pleased that you felt I was able to tap into some of the emotions of the character. That was my main aim with this story was to try and express something about a person as they face death. It's also one of my favourite things about ff is that it allows me to explore people's feelings and the psychology behind situations.

I tried to create enough backstory and I think that is the one thing that is lacking with this story is that there isn't enough however it is a short piece and it is hard to put everything into it without there being too much information. Finding the balance is hard for me.

Thank you for your comments and thoughts!


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Review #4, by CherryBoom Flicker

2nd April 2013:
Hi! I'm here for your requested review! =)

It was a very interesting idea to use a couple of lesser known characters for one-shot. I haven't read many fics about them, so it was nice to see how you imagine their characters.

I was bit disoriented in the first part of the fic. I was assuming that she was lying in some abandoned warehouse or something (because you didn't mention where she was), and dying slowly from her wounds, because her thoughts were so jumbled. So I was quite surprised when I realized that she was actually wandering around Diagon Alley, when I got further in the fic.

It was left quite unclear why she was in Diagon Alley. Was she leaving note to someone before her death? Visiting the places where she used to go with Benjy? How did Voldy & the Death Eaters know where she was?

I'm guessing you must have answers at least to some of my questions, but they just didn't show up in text. So extra descriptions could make this fic bit more readable. Now I was just left in some kind of suffocating cloud where I couldn't figure out which way she was going.

I liked her inner thoughts, although those were bit too flowery for my personal taste. I appreciate your similes, but they kind of kidnapped the plot and never let go.

I wasn't sure until the end, whether she was on a good side or bad side. Most of the story was quite ambivalent about it.

Her fate was left bit unclear. Like was she killed on the spot or tortured first? Or did Death Eaters capture her, break her mind and then kill her? So many options. The end left me with many questions as you can see.

I can appreciate this type of writing in one-shot, but if it was longer fic, it would definitely need some sprucing up, so that I wouldn't lose hope and stop reading it before the end.

I didn't actually learn a lot about the characters. Clearly Benjy and Dorcas were lovers, but that's almost all I got. There was a typo right in the end in Dorcas's name by the way. I think there were a couple of other inconsistencies as well, but can't remember right now where those were.

You are way good with expressing character's feelings. I could feel her intense pain about losing her lover, and there was some guilt in there too. But most of all she was practically out of her mind with grief. I hope that was the effect you were striving for? =)

It was intriguing and generally well written one-shot. But bit distrubing. =P

If you have questions about this review, just PM me. Other than that, I hope this was helpful review. Happy writing! =)

Author's Response: hi! I'm sorry for the late response to this! I've been so busy and i've gotten so behind on all my responses to reviews! I'm really sorry because i don't want to seem unappreciative.

I want to thank you for your honesty and i see where you are coming from with a lot of your points. Especially with needing to establish the setting earlier to avoid any confusion. And maybe hint stronger to why she was there and clear up some of the imagery and similes. I have a habit of letting them take over the plot. Part of it was that she was a little out of her mind with grief and disillusion with the war. She doesn't have a strong grasp on reality which is why some of this is confusing because it's reflecting her own mind frame which is in the simplest sense, confused. She's broken and the war has broken her both emotionally and mentally. She's out in Diagon Alley because she's trying to grasp who she was before, someone who'd do what she wanted and fight the power the war had on the world and another part is the fact that she just wants death. Rather death than keep experiencing what she is experiencing. Which is the loss of a lover and the loss of innocence that things will get better.

The ending is supposed to be a bit ambiguous. It's the end of her rope where her mind really doesn't have a grasp on what's going on around her. Mostly i just want to reader to interpret it how they like.

I get what you're saying with most of your points and i will try to clean a few things up just so that it's more readable. Thank you so much for your honesty!! :)


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Review #5, by Debra20 Flicker

29th March 2013:
Zayne! I am finally here to review this. Sorry it took me so long but I had a long waiting list, plus uni work. But as promised, I have arrived! And I am glad I did :D

First off allow me to extend my warmest and honest congratulations on your description skills. You have a gift when it comes to depicting feelings. They are true and deep and when you mix them with the visual images your words carry of the outside world, it creates a truly beautiful painting of the story. I really don't have much to say about this other than words of praise :D

Dorcas! I loved it that in the end, when he finally came for her she decided not to give in so easily. Sure, she didn't put up a fight because in her mind it was futile to fight against Lord Voldemort once he set his eyes on someone, but what's most important is that she kept her interior strength and went to her death with courage. Not many can say that they can stare certain death in the eyes and still maintain composure. I don't know if I could.

I really liked your characterization of Dorcas. She seemed very human in this, with believable emotions. She is longing for her childhood friend, her lover and now that he is dead, she has no reason to live any more. I'm wondering how he was and how was their relationship. And I am curious about her, more than anything. You write her as one of the most prominent figures of the First Order. I wonder what she's done to deserve all that faith people put in her. And I wonder above else what she has done to make Voldermort come after her himself. This is why I don't like one shots - I NEED TO KNOW MORE haha

Very veyr nice piece hun! I enjoyed it a lot!

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for your kindness! I'm blown away by your compliments and i'm really happy you like my sense of description. I always find the emotion the most interesting bit of writing and i'm happy that shows through without being too overbearing.

Dorcas probably wouldn't have gone easy, but I also think that there was a sense of resignation. If LV chose to kill her specifically what else could she do? She wasn't going to hide as that wasn't in her character but fighting had become so futile to her mind. She's lost grasp a little on reality I think as well in this and her world just sort of imploded on her.

Thank you so much for your compliments. I do plan on writing more about Dorcas actually. Just started on another piece because she has captured my attention and i've been forming her in my mind. It will be a one-shot probably but it will probably give more information about her background and why she was chosen.

Thanks so much for stopping by!


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