Reading Reviews for Get in Line
239 Reviews Found

Review #1, by putitonpaper Treats and Tricks

5th March 2017:
This story is so important. I'm so happy a story like this is on this site. This story tackles so much from sl*t-shaming to discovery of self worth. It's also about finding out that your old friends may actually be toxic rather than helpful. And then there's the age-old lesson of not judging a book by its cover.

You cover so many important themes in here. It's so easy for each reader to find something to directly relate to in your story. And even if I can't directly relate, you've written this in a way that I still feel empathy for Jordan and her struggles.

Very excited to see where you take this next!

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Review #2, by scintillated Treats and Tricks

23rd February 2017:
after this chapter, i'm CRYING

but i feel like this chapter, as a whole, served to tackle the whole jordan and what she does with her body issue. and i feel like you did it very well; you showed jordan's viewpoint - it's her body and she should do what she wants with it, she knows what she's doing, and i agree with that 100%. and you showed james+cyrus' point of view. i feel like in that, they're similar, but the only thing is, james came back to apologize. and that's what sticks with me the most. and ugh this chapter hit me right in the heart and i absolutely cannot wait until you update with the next one because this was so amazing.

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Review #3, by scintillated Greenhouse Groping

23rd February 2017:
my reaction after this chapter: AAAH

even though i HAVE to comment on the jordan/james, i'm just bursting about the Auror thing. i feel so bad for jordan, like her dreams are being obstructed; there's a lot of parallels to draw from history, but i don't know, that part just stuck out in my mind a lot.

AND THE KISS OH MERLIN - this time, it felt so real. like the first time, they were drunk, but this time: ohhoHO. the dialogue beforehand was so great (and i'm glad that James is overcoming his prejudice) and everything about it just spoke of developing jordan/james (what is their ship name? all i can think of is jomes, or maybe motter i don't know neither are very good).

and finally, i'm really really glad that she didn't forgive cyrus just yet. he deserves to pay, and jordan is being so empowered i can't bring myself to want to stop it. great chapter!!

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Review #4, by scintillated Duels and Don'ts

23rd February 2017:
yay for Jordan empowerment!!

in a way, i was super proud of Jordan this chapter. she didn't really take any of Mitch and Cyrus' insults, however teasingly they may have been, and not only that, she stayed strong. that's really what i love about her so much! like the duel; also, james insulted cyrus for jordan!! #ship

also that last scene was so heartwarming. i love the relationship between Silas and Jordan, it's just such a good sister-brothership and shows that it isn't necessarily blood that makes siblings. that was definitely my favorite part of the chapter. loved it! (with lots of exclamation marks that for some reason won't show up)

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Review #5, by JayJay Treats and Tricks

23rd February 2017:
Wow. I can't even. So good. Seriously. Every time I see this story in my updates I get so excited. And you never disappoint.

What a loaded and drama filled chapter! I was hooked from the get go and the pacing, humor and action were on point.

This story is very unique in its portrayal of Mose: A free spirited, sexually confident woman who is growing up in a cruel, cruel world. I mean seriously, even her bffls are giving her crap about her sexual freedom. That's some sick hypocrisy right there. And that's really the point isn't it? Calling attention to the oh so wonderful rampant sl*t shaming that women have to deal with.

This is shown in contrast to Hazel, who is called a prude and looked down upon as well. These characters demonstrate a clear representation of the sl*t/prude dichotomy that womankind must deal with. Youíre either on one side of the stigma or the other. No one wins this game.

And yet despite this prejudiced double standard, both of these characters do what they want. They sleep with, or donít sleep with who they want to. They exercise sexual freedom.

It is incredibly refreshing to see this dichotomy debunked in HPFF. I see too many fics that nonchalantly label women as sl*gs.

I also enjoyed the relatable realism (for better or for worse) of some of the charactersí actions in this chapter: Like Mose forgiving Cyrus despite his dweeby actions. Itís really difficult to stay mad at a close friend for a long time. Especially if you canít explain to them why youíre mad at them.

Also, due to the rampant alcohol consumption in this chapter, Iím not that surprised by the mistakes that were made. You canít always be a happy drunk, can you?

Seriously though. I can't believe none of these characters have been hospitalized for alcohol poisoning. I mean they must all be Irish or something (It's okay, I can say that--I'm part Irish ;)).

On top of the powerful themes of this chapter, it was incredibly fun and entertaining as a whole. The pick up lines, the drama, the witty banterÖ Seriously, the pick up line part though. On point. For serious.

(And Iím apparently seriously serious right now. I seriously canít stop using that word. I mean, Why so Sirius?...Sorry...couldnít resist).


You seriously rock. Keep writing. Youíre quite good.

Wow...I feel like I just finished my dissertation. Guess I must just be p*ssionate about these issues or something. Keep up the good work!! Super stoked for your next chapter.

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Review #6, by scintillated Out With The Old

22nd February 2017:
wow... just wow.

i am so angry at cyrus and mitch, like they can fite me 1v1 and i would beat them so bad because what kind of people say things like that about their friend? like her body is her decision, and even if they weren't comfortable about that - at least say it to her face, don't gossip about her behind her back. i'm back to hating the two of them about 500x more again, just when i was starting to like them a bit.

but on the bright side, the ending part with james and fred was cute! like, this is what friends are supposed to be like - comforting you instead of backstabbing you.

but as a whole this chapter really showed a message, in a really strong way. this was a really really great chapter, even though i want to punch some people now!!

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Review #7, by scintillated Fire and Flight

22nd February 2017:
is it just me or do i see developmennt

i'm pretty sure this is my favorite chapter so far. it did so much for character development - not just james, but jordan as well. this chapter showed the cracks in their armor. one part that stood out to me was jordan and james' argument; like, james still has a long way to go in overcoming his prejudices in that area. and in a way, i'm kind of... glad that he isn't magically all accepting? like of course not personally, but in a kind of objective way. like it provides a conflict, and even more than that, it shows a good guy that's not all that good. because james has all these flaws, and we see it so clearly. the same thing with jordan. that's what makes this so remarkable.

also with the fred/allison thing. i feel so bad for fred! and even allison, a bit. but i know this is just going to blow back in fred's face, because if allison really liked fred that much, she would have broken up with her boyfriend. and you know what they say, once a cheater, always a cheater.

i think rose and scorpius have maybe started to realize that something's going on? just because they're being oh-so sneaky now, and also, i think they're getting a lot more serious. because scorpius ditched quidditch for her!

i love love loved this chapter, now i'm off to the next one!

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Review #8, by scintillated Between The Bookshelves

22nd February 2017:
oh my goodness the first part of the chapter was hilarious. like i actually love fred weasley so much - he's so funny in that sorta dumb kinda way, it makes my life. also, is it odd that i sort of ship scorpius/rose after reading that? i dunno, they just seem nice together. but only sort of, but maybe that's just because i don't like rose all that much (not just in this story, though, i just don't like her as a whole).

also, lily seems great! she seems like the best potter to be honest.

again, i kind of ship cyrus and jordan, but i also kind of ship jordan and james. but to be honest, i like jordan too much to ship her with anyone, really - i'm not exactly sure how to phrase it.


excellent chapter!!

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Review #9, by scintillated The Morning After

22nd February 2017:
honestly, i do love fred a ton he's great. okay, i loved this chapter! the dynamic between cyrus, mitch, and jordan is awesome to read, it's just super hilarious. and again, i have to mention how much i love the dynamic of their friend group, it's just really great and realistic and awesome! but i also love the dynamic between fred and jordan, it seems like they could make pretty good friends (not just while they're high). the highlight of this chapter was the dialogue: i just feel like it shows so much, you know? like with your dialogue, it's one of the biggest tools into showing the character, and it's just really really good :)

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Review #10, by scintillated Drunk and Disorderly

22nd February 2017:

that is me after reading this chapter. drunk characters are always so fun to read! what i really love about your stories is how much background information you put into your chapters without it seeming like an info-dump. like it all just flows so naturally!! like i don't notice how much information i've learned until i go back and realize... wait woah.

this chapter was really really good - i loved it a lot!! and i can't wait until jordan and james get together (for real) ;) ;) ;) also my favorite characters are hazel and jordan, and my least favorite is probably mitch. onto the next chapter!

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Review #11, by scintillated Death To Cats Everywhere

22nd February 2017:
HAHA this chapter was great!! the ellie project was absolutely hilarious to read about - reminds me kind of what happened to hermione in the chamber of secrets, but i'm not exactly sure which one is worse... :) somehow, i have a feeling that something is going to explode between jordan and cyrus, and not in a good way. overall, this chapter was super fun to read, and you have a way of making it flow super nicely! as for cyrus - well, he's alright. i don't necessarily like all his qualities, but i don't hate him just because "he's getting in the way of jordan and james". like he seems like an okay guy, i remember there was something in one of the previous chapters that ticked me off.

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Review #12, by scintillated The Devising of Evilness

21st February 2017:
this chapter was really enjoyable! one thing that i especially really liked was the mentioning of the flipped political structure: i've always loved the after-war sort of tone, and even twenty-some years later, there's sure to still be many aftereffects still lingering. like the purebloods and slytherins facing prejudice is something that is extremely realistic, especially coming from james: his parents were extremely biased against slytherin. another thing that i've noticed about your characters (i've been commenting on them so much - it just proves how much i love them!!) is how much room for character development there is. it's especially evident in james, but to a similar extent, jordan - they both need to get over their prejudices. i think that even more than a romance story, i'm in this for the characters: it's kind of like a bildungsroman, in a way - i feel like many of the characters, especially jordan, will be able to grow throughout this story, a testament to your skill. great chapter!

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Review #13, by scintillated Deal With The Devil

21st February 2017:
this chapter was great! i really love the friend group that you've described here; even though their lifestyle is certainly different than anything i'm used to, you describe it very well and really bring the characters to life! also some more james/jordan interaction!! i'm really excited to see how this plot goes (even though i've already read this shhh) and it just seems so exciting!!

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Review #14, by adorably cute Treats and Tricks

20th February 2017:
Oh. My. GOD! This was so good! I'm so desperate for more now because I need to know what happens next! Please post soon!

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Review #15, by scintillated Let The Games Begin

20th February 2017:
you have NO IDEA how excited i was to look through the 'recently added' and see this story!! like i love this story sO MUCH

but in this chapter specifically, i love the characters. you immediately introduce them as the central characters, and they already seem complex (besides maybe james but i'm sure we'll see more of him coming on). like i love jordan so much! and silas and hazel and scorpius and even cyrus and mitch a wee bit. you just bring them to life so well, they seem so realistic. like i can see them as real people in real life.

like, this chapter shows a lot about all of their characters, especially jordan's, but not in like an info-dump kind of way? like their interaction on the train was great: it really set up the relationships between all of them, and it was really clear from the way you wrote them.

onto the next chapter!

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Review #16, by Quinn Treats and Tricks

19th February 2017:
When are you going to post the next chapter? I love this story so much and really like Mose.

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Review #17, by greenbirds Treats and Tricks

19th February 2017:
i really do think the main, primary theme of this novel is a woman's relationship with her body and her sexuality. i've said this before and i'll say it again: this isn't a james/oc, it's jordan's coming of age, it's as feminist a book as the female mystique or sheryl sandberg's lean in and it is such, such a pleasure to read.

i really really like how james isn't perfect. he is, of course, a fundamentally good guy, and we've all said things we don't mean but know it's what will unleash the most pain, the exact right quantity we're feeling. i am so, so sure he'll be apologising the next day, but irregardless: he himself isn't perfectly clued up on female empowerment and sexuality and that's ok, that's really ok, because very few boys are in this generation and whilst that ISN'T ok, your characterisation of james as the anti-cyrus: empowered by jordan's empowerment, not belittled and threatened, and yet still essentially an imperfect, flawed GUY in a patriarchal society- is so spot on, so well written and layered and detailed, i love it, i absolutely love it.

jordan is so great. she is so, so great. you write with such wit and with such fast pace humour my mouth is constantly moving from a grin to a circular formation of shock, but i think that's exactly what you intended, and you're doing a magnificent job.

update soon!

Author's Response: Let me just start off by saying thank you so incredibly much for taking the time to write this. I'm not exaggerating when I say that this is probably my favorite review I've ever received and it means so much how thoroughly you've thought about my characters and story.

I definitely see what you mean with saying that this isn't a james/oc and that's it's a Jordan coming of age story. I have been absolutely loving exploring character and really thinking about her actions and motives and why she is the way I've been writing her. I love developing her and making her grow and I'm so happy you are enjoying that process as well. Adding in the feminist themes and topics like slut shaming and female sexuality has been so interesting to write about and I love that I've been hopefully getting people to think about things like that too.

You're right when you say James is not perfect, despite him overall being a good guy. I like writing his character as someone who is kind of newly breaking out of patriarchal and sexist ways because I feel like it's very truthful in the ways that men (and women) do discover their own misogynistic ways and learn to break free of it and what they were taught. To have to go back and write him calling Jordan a wh*ore again hurt me but you're right, he was unleashing what he thought would match his own pain.

Just thank you again for being so great and leaving me something that truly made my entire day. I've got about 3500 words done with the next chapter and I'm on a bit of a roll right now so I'm hoping I can keep the momentum going and get something out for you all soon xx

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Review #18, by Sarah Treats and Tricks

18th February 2017:
So glad you have come back! This chapter was a whirlwind - poor James and Mose they have surely created a terrible situation :(( I can't wait to see where this goes so I hope you update again soon x

Author's Response: I'm glad I'm back too! I've missed HPFF and writing this story so much. This chapter was definitely full of drama and I'm very excited about the next one. I have about 3000 words written so far and I'm hoping I can keep the momentum going and get a quick update out for you all! xx

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Review #19, by cocopops Treats and Tricks

18th February 2017:
Crying. :(:(:(:( nononono

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Review #20, by Kait Treats and Tricks

18th February 2017:
I love this story more hthan life itself. Had Cyrus, though. Think that he is a dick for saying such hurtful things about Mose. Please update soon!

Author's Response: Aw thank you! Cyrus' character is a bit frustrating, yes, and I can understand why nearly everyone hates him right now. I'll try and update soon!

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Review #21, by beka_wotter Treats and Tricks

18th February 2017:
I'm so happy you updated and PLEASE update again soon!!
It was a very good chapter which I understand is necessary but I am disappointed in Jordan for sleeping with Cyrus. I strongly dislike Cyrus, even if he was a friend he isn't anymore and she needs to cut him out of her life.
I felt sorry for James because although he said bad stuff he's a good person and the fluffy Jordan and James moments are my fave so I hope we don't have to wait too long for more of those.
Love it, please keep updating!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review! I see where you are coming from being disappointed in Jordan. There was definitely a lot of crazy that happened! Fluffy Jordan and James moments are my favorite too :) xx

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Review #22, by luna1306 Treats and Tricks

17th February 2017:
That wh*re, I can't believe her!
James was so right she should not have forgiven him like that!
God I hate Cyrus.

I really really really liked this chapter and i hoop you update soon!!

Author's Response: Wh*re is a bit strong, don't you think?? Sleeping with Cyrus wasn't the best idea obviously but a big part of this story discusses slut shaming and why it is wrong so please keep that in mind!

Thank you so much for reading and for enjoying the story! I will try and update soon. xx :)

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Review #23, by User Treats and Tricks

16th February 2017:
Ugh, I can't believe she slept with Cyrus. I just want to shake her until she starts standing up for herself! Though I obviously don't like they way James or Cyrus treated her, her choices in the aftermath are killing me. I hate the way James talked to her! And Cyrus should not be in the picture anymore. Ahhh waiting for this development sucks.

I love the story though and the characters are well written. I like that you are exploring female sexuality. I'd like to see Jordan taking control of her own life though. Like not hiding the fact that she has new friends or calling out friends who don't act like friends

Please update soon! I need the next chapter like, now.

Author's Response: I feel you on that but she's definitely in a difficult place right now which is why I think she forgave Cyrus in the first place and knew she had to let it go if she wanted to keep her secret of hanging out with James and Fred. I hate the way James talked to her too. It hurt me writing that scene, trust me.

That means so much. I have seriously fallen in love with writing this story and thinking about this story and the characters so I love that other people love it too. And it has been so fun discussing female sexuality and slut shaming. I think it's important and I like exploring it.

I will try and update soon! I've got majority of the next chapter planned out and scenes partially written so it's just a matter of going back and /actually/ writing it. Thank you for taking the time to review! xx

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Review #24, by Giu9_RedandGold Treats and Tricks

16th February 2017:
Absolutely worth the wait! The heartbreak though :(

It was amazing and so so sad at the same time. I can't believe Jordan slept with Cyrus, it drives me mad to think about how she lets him treat her. In the last part I just wanted to hug her. And hug James too. He was harsh, but I kind of understand it. He seemed heartbroken and very disappointed.

I hope you won't be keeping us waiting for months because the more you write, the more I love this story, the harder it gets to wait for the next chapter! I love it!!!

Cheers! X


Author's Response: I know :( My own heart was breaking a bit writing this chapter but I love the drama at the same time. I always feel like my characters need a hug so I"m glad we're on the same page with that one!

I am going to try very hard to get back into writing regularly. Now that we're starting to get into more of the thick of the story, I can't stop thinking about it and plotting scenes so I'm hoping I won't keep you guys waiting as long anymore.

Thank you for loving the story and taking the time to review! It means a lot xx

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Review #25, by blackzero Treats and Tricks

16th February 2017:
Well no body hates such an amazing story and its author.This chapter was too emotionally heartbreaking. It pained seeing Jordan loosing her self esteem because of her pride.James last statement "Go back " was to me a indication of heart break. I hope they reconcile soon .Thank you very much for the update.Please update Enemies with Benefit too..Please.

Author's Response: Aw well thanks! It was emotionally heartbreaking for me to write too but it had to be done mostly cause I live for the drama and lowkey love torturing you all because I'm evil. ;)

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