Reading Reviews for Get in Line
  
247 Reviews Found

Review #1, by beka_wotter Duels and Don'ts Part 2

24th April 2017:
I LIVE FOR THESE UPDATES
PLEASE DONT MAKE ME WAIT A LONG TIME FOR THE NEXT ONE
what an intense chapter, I totally understand why there are so many rifts but I hope they sort it out because a) James is 100x better than Cyrus and b) I miss the happy moments between Jordan and James (how do I ship their names when they start with the same letter??)
I loved the line where James said 'you are and never will be mine. You made damn sure of that' I think it was something along those lines because it proves he wanted her to be his :D
Also Fred is such a cutie and I want to squish his face
I'd like to see a bit more of Hazel because at the moment I'm not really a fan, it might be intentional but I feel like she's being pretty judgy recently?
I love love love this story and am already excited for the next chapter (I loved how long this one was too!!) x

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Review #2, by Sarah Duels and Don'ts Part 2

22nd April 2017:
Yay an update! I actually didn't want the chapter to end I just want to keep reading until I find out how James and Mose will resolve this.

Hopefully another speedy update is on the way :D x

p.s. there was a small error right after Cyrus was punched ďIím sorry if I didnít want nearly our whole time to get suspended over some stupid brawl.Ē I think it should be team not time?

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Review #3, by ttw Duels and Don'ts Part 2

22nd April 2017:
Woaaahhh this was so good! So much happened but it wasn't too rushed or overloaded - so intense but still funny at the same time. I loved that you didn't have Jordan and James start kissing or something stupid when they were arguing; that's usually what happens, but this was just great, so realistically written! Loved it

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Review #4, by Violet Potter 434 Treats and Tricks

21st April 2017:
I just left a review on your latest chapter but I jut realised I had meant to say that I really, really love Freddie's character too, he's seriously an outstanding character with loads of personality and I love how you write him

also please could you write a bit about lily standing up for her cause I like a good bit of lily and you write her really well too
(okay you write them all really well I cant avoid saying it any longer)
and you haven't mentioned rose and Scorp in a while, which I know you probably know and have something planned soon but I had to mention that

also scorp is so the nice one of the group isn't he? I feel so sorry he's going to be the only one left once they go

I suppose he'll have rose but still

anyways it s great, please write more soon

love from me xxx

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Review #5, by Violet Potter 434 Duels and Don'ts Part 2

21st April 2017:
omg you have write more
I've read like up to chapter 6/7 before but hadn't realised it was updated
but omg its just getting better and better
all that fighting
I love it
please let her punch Mitch and Cyrus

I completely agree about the points about how girls get judged on for something boys get applauded for, if you get me

I do however think she could be a bit harsher on Mitch about it cause it sounds like he gets around more than her

anyways I really love this story and can't wait for you to update again

its truly amazing and I love Jordan's character


so please write more

love from me xx

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Review #6, by A Fan Duels and Don'ts Part 2

21st April 2017:
This is.really messed up. I don't know what to think anymore other than James has hell of a lot to make up for if he ever wants to earn Jordan's forgiveness. His words were disgusting and the fact that his breakup is his reasoning for violence towards other people is.worrying. Like I wouldn't want a boyfriend with clear control issues and violent tendencies.
I loathe Cyrus but to beat him half to death is once again really disturbing. I hope to god that no teenage girl thinks that's somehow romantic or 'proof' of someone's "love". Violent jealousy and possessiveness is never cute. Also I want to say that I'm not okay with James being so nonchalant and okay with hurting Jordan while they were dueling. That goes for her too, but it's even more messed up with him, because his anger towards her is rooted on other girls actions and Jordan making a mistake that she was perfectly entitled to make, you know?

Jordan continues to be awesome character, I'm glad that she didn't forget what James said before she slept with Cyrus either. Her speech towards her friends was awesome, I'm so glad she stood up for herself. She's written really well, the slutshaming and goddamned​ double standards she has to deal with makes me want to be "on her side" ,even more than I already am.

Anyways, so I'm sort of heartbroken that James just erased almost all of his likeability and acted like a misogynistic tool. Hopefully he'll redeem himself somehow.

Update soon if you can!

Author's Response: I totally agree with a lot of what you said. Writing James in this chapter made me really sad but I hope to elaborate more on some of his (and Jordan's) choices in the next chapter. I wouldn't exactly say that his anger toward her is rooted on other girl's actions though. That was partially the reason he was upset with her, but Jordan bringing up his dad is one of the main reasons James wanted to duel her. I also think he would've been upset with her about Cyrus even if he hadn't gotten cheated on in the past, but his anger and hurt was just intensified because of that.

Thank you so much for what you said about Jordan. Her character is so much fun and very interesting to write. I love exploring the slut shaming aspect of this story and I'm glad other people like that too.

I'll try and update as soon as possible! Thank you for reviewing! xx


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Review #7, by adorably cute Duels and Don'ts Part 2

20th April 2017:
I love Jordan and Fred's friendship! Their dynamic is so fun! This was such a great chapter, can't wait for more!

Author's Response: Me too! I absolutely love those two together. They are so much fun to write. I'm glad you liked the chapter and hopefully I'll get another one out to you all soon xx

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Review #8, by blackzero Duels and Don'ts Part 2

20th April 2017:
Oh wow such a quick update.The relationship just got super complicated.. How they are gonna burn the bridges ...Just can't imagine...Superb.and Thank u very much

Author's Response: I'm trying not to have you guys wait so long between updates so I'm happy that I got this out to you! I'm glad you liked it and thank you for taking the time to review xx

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Review #9, by putitonpaper Treats and Tricks

5th March 2017:
This story is so important. I'm so happy a story like this is on this site. This story tackles so much from sl*t-shaming to discovery of self worth. It's also about finding out that your old friends may actually be toxic rather than helpful. And then there's the age-old lesson of not judging a book by its cover.

You cover so many important themes in here. It's so easy for each reader to find something to directly relate to in your story. And even if I can't directly relate, you've written this in a way that I still feel empathy for Jordan and her struggles.

Very excited to see where you take this next!

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Review #10, by scintillated Treats and Tricks

23rd February 2017:
after this chapter, i'm CRYING

but i feel like this chapter, as a whole, served to tackle the whole jordan and what she does with her body issue. and i feel like you did it very well; you showed jordan's viewpoint - it's her body and she should do what she wants with it, she knows what she's doing, and i agree with that 100%. and you showed james+cyrus' point of view. i feel like in that, they're similar, but the only thing is, james came back to apologize. and that's what sticks with me the most. and ugh this chapter hit me right in the heart and i absolutely cannot wait until you update with the next one because this was so amazing.

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Review #11, by scintillated Greenhouse Groping

23rd February 2017:
my reaction after this chapter: AAAH

even though i HAVE to comment on the jordan/james, i'm just bursting about the Auror thing. i feel so bad for jordan, like her dreams are being obstructed; there's a lot of parallels to draw from history, but i don't know, that part just stuck out in my mind a lot.

AND THE KISS OH MERLIN - this time, it felt so real. like the first time, they were drunk, but this time: ohhoHO. the dialogue beforehand was so great (and i'm glad that James is overcoming his prejudice) and everything about it just spoke of developing jordan/james (what is their ship name? all i can think of is jomes, or maybe motter i don't know neither are very good).

and finally, i'm really really glad that she didn't forgive cyrus just yet. he deserves to pay, and jordan is being so empowered i can't bring myself to want to stop it. great chapter!!

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Review #12, by scintillated Duels and Don'ts

23rd February 2017:
yay for Jordan empowerment!!

in a way, i was super proud of Jordan this chapter. she didn't really take any of Mitch and Cyrus' insults, however teasingly they may have been, and not only that, she stayed strong. that's really what i love about her so much! like the duel; also, james insulted cyrus for jordan!! #ship

also that last scene was so heartwarming. i love the relationship between Silas and Jordan, it's just such a good sister-brothership and shows that it isn't necessarily blood that makes siblings. that was definitely my favorite part of the chapter. loved it! (with lots of exclamation marks that for some reason won't show up)

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Review #13, by JayJay Treats and Tricks

23rd February 2017:
Wow. I can't even. So good. Seriously. Every time I see this story in my updates I get so excited. And you never disappoint.

What a loaded and drama filled chapter! I was hooked from the get go and the pacing, humor and action were on point.

This story is very unique in its portrayal of Mose: A free spirited, sexually confident woman who is growing up in a cruel, cruel world. I mean seriously, even her bffls are giving her crap about her sexual freedom. That's some sick hypocrisy right there. And that's really the point isn't it? Calling attention to the oh so wonderful rampant sl*t shaming that women have to deal with.

This is shown in contrast to Hazel, who is called a prude and looked down upon as well. These characters demonstrate a clear representation of the sl*t/prude dichotomy that womankind must deal with. Youíre either on one side of the stigma or the other. No one wins this game.

And yet despite this prejudiced double standard, both of these characters do what they want. They sleep with, or donít sleep with who they want to. They exercise sexual freedom.

It is incredibly refreshing to see this dichotomy debunked in HPFF. I see too many fics that nonchalantly label women as sl*gs.


I also enjoyed the relatable realism (for better or for worse) of some of the charactersí actions in this chapter: Like Mose forgiving Cyrus despite his dweeby actions. Itís really difficult to stay mad at a close friend for a long time. Especially if you canít explain to them why youíre mad at them.

Also, due to the rampant alcohol consumption in this chapter, Iím not that surprised by the mistakes that were made. You canít always be a happy drunk, can you?

Seriously though. I can't believe none of these characters have been hospitalized for alcohol poisoning. I mean they must all be Irish or something (It's okay, I can say that--I'm part Irish ;)).


On top of the powerful themes of this chapter, it was incredibly fun and entertaining as a whole. The pick up lines, the drama, the witty banterÖ Seriously, the pick up line part though. On point. For serious.

(And Iím apparently seriously serious right now. I seriously canít stop using that word. I mean, Why so Sirius?...Sorry...couldnít resist).

AnywaysÖ.

You seriously rock. Keep writing. Youíre quite good.


Wow...I feel like I just finished my dissertation. Guess I must just be p*ssionate about these issues or something. Keep up the good work!! Super stoked for your next chapter.



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Review #14, by scintillated Out With The Old

22nd February 2017:
wow... just wow.

i am so angry at cyrus and mitch, like they can fite me 1v1 and i would beat them so bad because what kind of people say things like that about their friend? like her body is her decision, and even if they weren't comfortable about that - at least say it to her face, don't gossip about her behind her back. i'm back to hating the two of them about 500x more again, just when i was starting to like them a bit.

but on the bright side, the ending part with james and fred was cute! like, this is what friends are supposed to be like - comforting you instead of backstabbing you.

but as a whole this chapter really showed a message, in a really strong way. this was a really really great chapter, even though i want to punch some people now!!

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Review #15, by scintillated Fire and Flight

22nd February 2017:
is it just me or do i see developmennt

i'm pretty sure this is my favorite chapter so far. it did so much for character development - not just james, but jordan as well. this chapter showed the cracks in their armor. one part that stood out to me was jordan and james' argument; like, james still has a long way to go in overcoming his prejudices in that area. and in a way, i'm kind of... glad that he isn't magically all accepting? like of course not personally, but in a kind of objective way. like it provides a conflict, and even more than that, it shows a good guy that's not all that good. because james has all these flaws, and we see it so clearly. the same thing with jordan. that's what makes this so remarkable.

also with the fred/allison thing. i feel so bad for fred! and even allison, a bit. but i know this is just going to blow back in fred's face, because if allison really liked fred that much, she would have broken up with her boyfriend. and you know what they say, once a cheater, always a cheater.

i think rose and scorpius have maybe started to realize that something's going on? just because they're being oh-so sneaky now, and also, i think they're getting a lot more serious. because scorpius ditched quidditch for her!

i love love loved this chapter, now i'm off to the next one!

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Review #16, by scintillated Between The Bookshelves

22nd February 2017:
oh my goodness the first part of the chapter was hilarious. like i actually love fred weasley so much - he's so funny in that sorta dumb kinda way, it makes my life. also, is it odd that i sort of ship scorpius/rose after reading that? i dunno, they just seem nice together. but only sort of, but maybe that's just because i don't like rose all that much (not just in this story, though, i just don't like her as a whole).

also, lily seems great! she seems like the best potter to be honest.

again, i kind of ship cyrus and jordan, but i also kind of ship jordan and james. but to be honest, i like jordan too much to ship her with anyone, really - i'm not exactly sure how to phrase it.

AND WHO DID JAMES SEE DIE?

excellent chapter!!

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Review #17, by scintillated The Morning After

22nd February 2017:
honestly, i do love fred a ton he's great. okay, i loved this chapter! the dynamic between cyrus, mitch, and jordan is awesome to read, it's just super hilarious. and again, i have to mention how much i love the dynamic of their friend group, it's just really great and realistic and awesome! but i also love the dynamic between fred and jordan, it seems like they could make pretty good friends (not just while they're high). the highlight of this chapter was the dialogue: i just feel like it shows so much, you know? like with your dialogue, it's one of the biggest tools into showing the character, and it's just really really good :)

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Review #18, by scintillated Drunk and Disorderly

22nd February 2017:
AH

that is me after reading this chapter. drunk characters are always so fun to read! what i really love about your stories is how much background information you put into your chapters without it seeming like an info-dump. like it all just flows so naturally!! like i don't notice how much information i've learned until i go back and realize... wait woah.

this chapter was really really good - i loved it a lot!! and i can't wait until jordan and james get together (for real) ;) ;) ;) also my favorite characters are hazel and jordan, and my least favorite is probably mitch. onto the next chapter!

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Review #19, by scintillated Death To Cats Everywhere

22nd February 2017:
HAHA this chapter was great!! the ellie project was absolutely hilarious to read about - reminds me kind of what happened to hermione in the chamber of secrets, but i'm not exactly sure which one is worse... :) somehow, i have a feeling that something is going to explode between jordan and cyrus, and not in a good way. overall, this chapter was super fun to read, and you have a way of making it flow super nicely! as for cyrus - well, he's alright. i don't necessarily like all his qualities, but i don't hate him just because "he's getting in the way of jordan and james". like he seems like an okay guy, i remember there was something in one of the previous chapters that ticked me off.

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Review #20, by scintillated The Devising of Evilness

21st February 2017:
this chapter was really enjoyable! one thing that i especially really liked was the mentioning of the flipped political structure: i've always loved the after-war sort of tone, and even twenty-some years later, there's sure to still be many aftereffects still lingering. like the purebloods and slytherins facing prejudice is something that is extremely realistic, especially coming from james: his parents were extremely biased against slytherin. another thing that i've noticed about your characters (i've been commenting on them so much - it just proves how much i love them!!) is how much room for character development there is. it's especially evident in james, but to a similar extent, jordan - they both need to get over their prejudices. i think that even more than a romance story, i'm in this for the characters: it's kind of like a bildungsroman, in a way - i feel like many of the characters, especially jordan, will be able to grow throughout this story, a testament to your skill. great chapter!

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Review #21, by scintillated Deal With The Devil

21st February 2017:
this chapter was great! i really love the friend group that you've described here; even though their lifestyle is certainly different than anything i'm used to, you describe it very well and really bring the characters to life! also some more james/jordan interaction!! i'm really excited to see how this plot goes (even though i've already read this shhh) and it just seems so exciting!!

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Review #22, by adorably cute Treats and Tricks

20th February 2017:
Oh. My. GOD! This was so good! I'm so desperate for more now because I need to know what happens next! Please post soon!

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Review #23, by scintillated Let The Games Begin

20th February 2017:
you have NO IDEA how excited i was to look through the 'recently added' and see this story!! like i love this story sO MUCH

but in this chapter specifically, i love the characters. you immediately introduce them as the central characters, and they already seem complex (besides maybe james but i'm sure we'll see more of him coming on). like i love jordan so much! and silas and hazel and scorpius and even cyrus and mitch a wee bit. you just bring them to life so well, they seem so realistic. like i can see them as real people in real life.

like, this chapter shows a lot about all of their characters, especially jordan's, but not in like an info-dump kind of way? like their interaction on the train was great: it really set up the relationships between all of them, and it was really clear from the way you wrote them.

onto the next chapter!

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Review #24, by Quinn Treats and Tricks

19th February 2017:
When are you going to post the next chapter? I love this story so much and really like Mose.

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Review #25, by greenbirds Treats and Tricks

19th February 2017:
i really do think the main, primary theme of this novel is a woman's relationship with her body and her sexuality. i've said this before and i'll say it again: this isn't a james/oc, it's jordan's coming of age, it's as feminist a book as the female mystique or sheryl sandberg's lean in and it is such, such a pleasure to read.

i really really like how james isn't perfect. he is, of course, a fundamentally good guy, and we've all said things we don't mean but know it's what will unleash the most pain, the exact right quantity we're feeling. i am so, so sure he'll be apologising the next day, but irregardless: he himself isn't perfectly clued up on female empowerment and sexuality and that's ok, that's really ok, because very few boys are in this generation and whilst that ISN'T ok, your characterisation of james as the anti-cyrus: empowered by jordan's empowerment, not belittled and threatened, and yet still essentially an imperfect, flawed GUY in a patriarchal society- is so spot on, so well written and layered and detailed, i love it, i absolutely love it.

jordan is so great. she is so, so great. you write with such wit and with such fast pace humour my mouth is constantly moving from a grin to a circular formation of shock, but i think that's exactly what you intended, and you're doing a magnificent job.

update soon!

Author's Response: Let me just start off by saying thank you so incredibly much for taking the time to write this. I'm not exaggerating when I say that this is probably my favorite review I've ever received and it means so much how thoroughly you've thought about my characters and story.

I definitely see what you mean with saying that this isn't a james/oc and that's it's a Jordan coming of age story. I have been absolutely loving exploring character and really thinking about her actions and motives and why she is the way I've been writing her. I love developing her and making her grow and I'm so happy you are enjoying that process as well. Adding in the feminist themes and topics like slut shaming and female sexuality has been so interesting to write about and I love that I've been hopefully getting people to think about things like that too.

You're right when you say James is not perfect, despite him overall being a good guy. I like writing his character as someone who is kind of newly breaking out of patriarchal and sexist ways because I feel like it's very truthful in the ways that men (and women) do discover their own misogynistic ways and learn to break free of it and what they were taught. To have to go back and write him calling Jordan a wh*ore again hurt me but you're right, he was unleashing what he thought would match his own pain.

Just thank you again for being so great and leaving me something that truly made my entire day. I've got about 3500 words done with the next chapter and I'm on a bit of a roll right now so I'm hoping I can keep the momentum going and get something out for you all soon xx


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