Reading Reviews for Grizzled
  
23 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore Grizzled

14th March 2014:
Hi Jenna!

Oh, this was so sad! I was scanning your page and realised that, even though I'd always intended to, somehow I'd never read or reviewed this story, which was the first one I remember everyone talking about when we were new on the forums! I've seriously missed out for almost a year, because this was so beautiful and moving.

Dementia is such a horrible thing, and I think that you dealt with a sensitive topic really well. I felt so sorry for Bill here; I've had my own experiences with this illness in the family, but I think for it to be your life partner who is suffering from it would be worse than anything. At times, it seems like they're a completely different person to the one love, and that makes this story even more heart-breaking.

I loved the way that you set the story up with mentioning all the torments that those who had been in the war suffered and still suffer, and then to see Bill (who was always the handsome one!) charming all the ladies and the nurses in the care home. When Fleur came and was so horrible, I really felt for him. I can understand why the nurses would be angry with her, but I loved that you explained why Bill couldn't be.

All of those memories that you used to explore Bill and Fleur's relationship were just so perfect and touching. You captured them so well, particularly Fleur as a really strong woman and Bill's love for her. Every detail just made the story more moving and upsetting.

But still beautiful ♥

Sian :)

Blackout Bingo review 12/20

Author's Response: Hi Sian! :)

Wow, this review took me right back to that time when this, GfS and Derwent Demented were my only stories! The good old days, haha. :P I'm so glad you liked this, and it was really lovely getting your reflections on it!

I'm glad you thought I handled it well. It's a subject which is very important to me - I'm actually writing a non-fiction piece about it now in RL. It means a lot to hear from people who have similar experiences in their own families, because I know how difficult it is and wanted to do it justice. I agree, I can't imagine how difficult it would be to see your partner change like this.

I'm glad you liked Bill here! He seems so charming and good-natured to me, and I felt he would continue to have a positive attitude throughout his life. I know, I felt so sorry for doing this to them as well. :( Bill knows that it's the disease talking, and he wants to be there for her no matter what.

Aw, I felt those moments were so important to show how they've grown more in love as time went on. It's always the most tragic, to see how somebody has changed. I'm really glad you thought I wrote them well.

Thank you so much for the lovely review! ♥


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Review #2, by maraudertimes Grizzled

3rd February 2014:
Hello!

Holy moly, I'm really sad! Fleur and Bill were one of my favourite pairings, since there was such pure love between the two, and a girl most would consider vain and frivolous was such a loving, caring, compassionate woman to the man she loved and who loved her back. And you made me feel that same way in this one-shot, but you also made it so much better and so much worse.

The so much better part because the little flashback type moments were wonderful and beautiful and absolutely stunning. My favourite was when you mentioned that the one line of French that Bill did eventually learn was "Ma jolie femme, comment je t'aime. Comment je vous adore." I kind of 'aw'ed when I read that.

It's so much worse because of how Fleur has devolved, become this person who is filled with anger and rage, and she inflicts this anger and rage upon Bill because he is the only one she knows. Because it seems that something like that would happen and the fact that it would happen to Fleur and Bill is just heartbreaking. But that Bill will stand beside her and not leave her is just amazing, and really reinforces the love that has always been between the two.

This was just lovely and as I said earlier, I'm a little sad now. You've written this so beautifully and I can't thank you enough. You have created something so pure that I am honoured to have read this. So thank you.

Amazing job!
Lo:)

Author's Response: Hi there! :)

Aw, I'm sorry you're sad! :( This story was quite sad to write as well. I'm glad you like the pairing as well, and seeing the wholesome, loving side of Fleur which I think is so important about her character.

I'm so thrilled to know you like the flashback parts as well, as I played around with them quite a bit. I'm happy you liked the French line too, it was a little cheesy but I'm glad it was aw-worthy.

I know, it is so sad but a real reality for a lot of people who suffer from dementia and those who have to see the ones they love go through it. I agree, after Bill and Fleur have been through so much it's so sad that the last years of their lives will end this way. I felt that Bill would be loyal and loving to Fleur as she was to him in return. I really love them as a pairing and as two characters. ♥

Wow, thank you :) This review was so lovely, I really appreciate all your amazing words. Thank you so much! :)


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Review #3, by milominderbinder Grizzled

14th December 2013:
Hiya! I'm here from review tag :)

Wow. Talk about an emotional rollercoaster. Your writing is always amazing but sometimes that can be a curse because you're far too good at breaking my heart!

This was so incredibly beautiful and poignant, and in a way, really happy. The snippets of their life together warmed my heart and really made me fall in love with these characters. But then again, it was completely tragic. When Bill talked about Fleur's mind beginning to go, at the end, I was on the brink of tears.

Bill is so sweet. It's adorable (and did I mention heartbreaking!) how much he loves Fleur, even at the end when she's not really herself.

And I have to say, that little note at the end 'inspired by my grandparents' really broke my heart!

Basically, well done, this story was tragic but also beautiful and poignant. It broke my heart to read but I'm glad I did!

~Maia

Author's Response: Hello there!

Aw, you're so sweet. I'm glad you liked the story, and sorry if it broke your heart a little! :( I think the situation here is quite relatable for a lot of people so it's lovely to hear I've done it justice. Ah it's great to hear you liked the contrasts of the background and their history together with the ending. I loved writing this story so getting such kind feedback is really great.

I felt like Fleur and Bill would be one of those sweet couples who would last through troubles, and felt so sorry for putting Bill through that. :(

Aw yes, the story was mostly inspired through personal experience since I've seen my grandparents go through a similar situation. I really wanted to write it well especially since it came from that special place in my heart. :)

Thanks so much for this lovely review Maia! It was so nice and really made my day. ♥


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Review #4, by TheGirlWithTheLaughingFace Grizzled

23rd November 2013:
Ok can I just say how amazingly awesome you are as a writer!

Your story had me thinking about the notebook constantly seeing as there is some similarities here.

My heart breaks for Bill though because his own wife frustrated with the disease that makes her forget a simple thing hates him and he bares it because of the love he has for her.

I personally know what it's like to watch someone fall to alzheimer's (my grandmom had it.) and it kills you to see them looking so lost and confused and you captured this perfectly in your writing of Bill.

Thank you for sharing this amazing story with us.

Author's Response: Hi! :)

Wow, thank you so much! :) This story was really close to my heart so it's really lovely to hear that you liked it.

Haha, yes there are many similarities with the Notebook! When I wrote it the story felt mostly from personal memory but after I posted it I decided that the Notebook must have been in the back of my mind. :P

I know, its so sad, though unfairness is the nature of dementia and Alzheimer's. I'm honoured you thought this did justice to your own experiences, and I've also seen my family go through these things so writing it came very naturally and honestly. :)

I'm so happy you liked it, and thank you for this beautiful review!


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Review #5, by house elf Grizzled

6th August 2013:
Bah, this is so sad. My heart goes out to poor Bill, having to look at his wife each day and see someone very different to the woman he once knew. :( It's heart-breaking how she throws all these horrible insults at him and he just has to swallow them up. In fact, my heart goes out to every couple that has to go through things like this.

I lovelovelove all your descriptions of Fleur in her prime - just how I imagine her. You write so well. Thanks for this lovely little story :)

Author's Response: Hello! Aw, I'm so glad you enjoyed the story even though it is so sad. I felt so sorry for Bill having to deal with Fleur's changes and her hatred, but I felt that it was a universal experience that I really wanted to write about.

I'm very honoured you found the story emotionally heartbreaking, and liked the descriptions of a younger Fleur: I was very excited to try writing her, she's such a great character.

Thank you for a lovely review, it was such a pleasure to receive! :)


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Review #6, by RavenclawGirl11 Grizzled

24th July 2013:
Sorry, but this made me cry. It was so powerful, I'd never thought of Fleur and Bill like this, I'd always them to be young and beautiful always. You are a very talented writer, and hope that In the future you do some more material like this.
~ Macy x

Author's Response: Hi! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story, though I'm sorry if it made you cry! I loved writing it, and knowing it touched you as a reader is such wonderful feedback to receive. I definitely have many more emotional pieces up my sleeve! :) Thank you so much for the lovely review!

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Review #7, by randomwriter Grizzled

15th June 2013:
This is so heart-breakingly beautiful.

I loved it. I always imagined Bill and Fleur as this beautiful and perfect couple, with everything going for them. I always thought that they would grow old together and be happy throughout. You've given me a new spin on this, a different perspective, and I think that is was wonderfully written. However sad it may be, it has this heart-warming feel to it, in certain parts.

I love how you've incorporated detailed descriptions of their love in between. It really adds character to the story. And it has a wonderful flow.

Well done, Lululuna.
And thanks for the swap :) Sorry I got a bit delayed.

Author's Response: Hi! :) Aw, thank you for the lovely praise! This story is quite dear to my heart, so it's great to know you enjoyed it.

I'm glad I gave you a different perspective, and found the story both heartbreaking and heartwarming! It was tragic but also enjoyable to imagine these characters very far in the future, and to try and give the issue of ageing a realistic (though tragic) ending.

I'm glad you liked the flow, and the addition of memories! Really, this means so much to me! :)

Thank you so much for a lovely review, and for the swap! :D


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Review #8, by HarryPotterFan_1 Grizzled

8th June 2013:
Bonjour, here for the review swap over on the forums.
This is now one of my favourite oneshots, it was absolutely beautiful. I love how you had Bill reminiscing the times when Fleur remembered him and allowed me, as a reader, to explore his thoughts and memories.
The memory of Fleur at Molly's funeral was sweet as Molly and Fleur did not get along well but it was lovely that she was there to support her husband.
Finally, I loved the French phrases. I know that Fleur is French but in many of the Bill/Fleur fanfics I have read, people chose not to include French so I like how you did as it is more realistic - I don't think Fleur would just stop using French after marrying Bill.
Overall, a lovely oneshot. :)
10/10

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Aw, you're making me blush! I'm really happy you liked this story, as it is rather dear to my heart. Knowing you enjoyed Bill's perspective and the slow revelations of memories is great to hear.

I'm really glad you pointed out the funeral scene as well, I actually got quite emotional imagining it! Thank you! :)

I agree, Fleur is French and I think her accent and interjection of French words would be an important part of her. I actually imagine her teaching her children French and speaking it at home, as well.

Thank you so much for this lovely review! :D


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Review #9, by marauder5 Grizzled

10th May 2013:
This was absolutely stunning - one of the saddest and most beautiful pieces I've read. I fell in love with it from the first paragraph, and this line: "Marguerite hastily waved her wand and cleared up the cup of tea he had dropped when his hand started shaking. They both ignored it." It set the mood for the entire story, and it really touched me. You've really captured the sorrows of growing old.

Bill remembering how his wife used to be was just beautiful. I think you did a very good job of explaining the difference between him and those who didn't know her then: they saw only her bitterness, but he saw who she really was. It's so beautiful to think that despite of what age did to her, she was still the same to him; she was still the woman that he loved.

I'd like to mention one thing. You probably speek French a billion times better than me (aren't you Canadian? Or do I have confused with someone else?) so I might just end up looking silly. But I noticed that in the part in French, you refer to Fleur as 'tu' first, and then as 'vous'. Is that correct? Also, I'm not sure that anyone would refer to his wife as 'vous', as it's a bit more formal. If I'm wrong, though, just ignore this. You probably know better than me ;)

I just want to say once again that this was a wonderful story. It was even more touching than many other sad stories I've read, because it's a real phenomenon. I think it's the reason why people are scared of growing old; they don't want to turn into someone else. It broke my heart a little bit. I felt so bad for Bill, and for Fleur too. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I don't even know what else to tell you. I want you to understand how beautiful it was, but maybe you already do :) I hope so. I want to thank you for writing it, and for touching my heart (and probably many others'). :)

Author's Response: Hi! Aw, it's so wonderful to hear that you liked it. This story is definitely very special to me and getting these positive reactions is just lovely! :) I'm glad that you liked the line about the tea as well, since I thought of it as saying a lot about Bill, and growing old as well.

It's good to hear that you liked the differences between how Fleur was and is, and how Bill sees her and how everyone else sees her. It's nice to know that the flashbacks to how she used to be worked well! :)

Haha, I think you're right about the French phrase! My spoken French is a lot better than my awful written French, and I think I just wrote "vous" because it flowed better without thinking about the grammar! But I'll go back to fix that up when I get a chance, thanks for pointing it out! :P

Turning old is definitely such a realistic but frightening part of life, and I was happy to try and do it justice with this story. It was very sad to write, though! :(

Thank you so much for appreciating this story, and for giving me such a wonderful and nice review, as always!! :D It was such a nice surprise, and knowing that you liked it means a lot to me!! :)


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Review #10, by HeyMrsPotter Grizzled

9th May 2013:
Hello! Here for your review from the forums. You'll have to excuse me if this isn't particularly coherent, you've reduced me to tears on my bus journey to work! I was feeling a little teary and then Molly's funeral pushed me right over the edge!
This is by far my favourite of all of your writing that I've read! Absolutely beautiful. I couldn't even give you the tiniest bit of CC on this. It reminded me a little of the notebook, which is one of my favourite films :)
Your characterisation is perfect, though I'd never imagined Bill and Fleur being elderly, now that I've read this I couldn't imagine them any differently. I love that Bill is still a little rebellious in his thoughts and a little cheeky. Ageing Fleur is brilliant too, I could definitely see her deciding to move somewhere once her mind started to go, if only to have someone make sure her husband was alright.
Their relationship is lovely in this too. I like that you've portrayed a side of Fleur that we only saw a little of in the books, the more lighthearted side that she seems to reserve for Bill.
I particularly liked the way you wrote about the war in this, how, even years later, people were still affected by it and how younger generations are fascinated by it.
I would tell you my favourite quotes but honestly, I think I'd end up quoting your whole story back to you!
Thank you for such a wonderful read :)

Author's Response: Hi there!!! :)

Wow, I am so honoured to receive this glowing review from you!! This story really means a lot to me and it's amazing to get positive responses to it. Though I am sorry that it made you sad!!

Molly's funeral really moved me too! It was actually inspired from seeing my mom comfort my dad at my grandfather's funeral when I was quite little, and I'm really glad to do that moment justice in writing. It's so sad to think about the Weasleys losing their parents, but of course with Bill and Fleur being in their old age their own parents' deaths would be on their minds.

Ahh, so happy to hear that you liked their characterizations!! I definitely saw Bill as retaining his cheeky attitude, and as being a popular guy around the retirement home. I'm glad you pointed out Fleur wanting to move and take care of Bill, as it said a lot about how I imagined her character. :)

Thank you so much for this really wonderful and thoughtful review!!! Your kind words are really appreciated, and it was lovely to read! :D


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Review #11, by charlottetrips Grizzled

9th May 2013:
Again you slay me!

You will have to forgive the briefness of this review as I am typing on a mobile, but I can squee for as much as I'm capable of typing!

The premise and execution of this one-shot is most effective. I'm gripped from the start with your summary. I love the way you give us outsiders' viewpoints on Bill and Fleur and slip neatly into Bill's side of things.

But Fleur was not of the air: she was earth and fire, a being made from the lifeblood of the soil, an imperfectly perfect person with strong opinions and a temper of towering ferocity.
What a beautiful description. This quote has probably been quoted in each of the reviews of this story but I don't care. I'm going to quote it again, and I have.

Anyway, the small moments that you allow the reader to peak in are simple yet so perfect to give us a glimpse of the happy life they led. It totally justifies Bill's complacency with her current attitude toward him.

How tragic that she no longer really recognizes him as her husband but she knew and she cared enough to try to help him through it as much as she could before the dementia took over.

This kind of reminded me of The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks but with that added awesomeness of beautiful description and Harry Potter characters.

xChar

Author's Response: Hello again! Oh, you are just too kind to me!! :)

I'm so happy to hear that you liked this story!!! Hearing that the story's structure: going from the nurse's POV to Bill's, was really great to get feedback on, and I'm glad that it worked. I rewrote the beginning so many times and knowing you liked it is very reassuring!

Aw, thank you! I loved that quote too, I had a clear picture of how Bill saw Fleur in my head and am glad it came across in print. :)

I'm really happy you pointed out Fleur's efforts to ease her transition into dementia for her husband, as I thought it said a lot about her personality. She's very caring, and she likes to be control, so descending into dementia would be so devastating for her.

It is a bit like the Notebook, isn't it? :)

Thank you so much for this really lovely and thoughtful review!!! :D


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Review #12, by Bobby Dazzler Grizzled

7th May 2013:
This was fantastic!
I know you have asked for a review from me (which I am shockingly late in giving, a thousand appologies!), but how can you review perfection? You just can't.
I loved every single moment of this story, it really struck a chord with me as my grandad had dementia too, so I thought it was absolutely beliveable, tastefully written, and completely touching. It was just fantastic, and like I said, perfect. I am going to give this 10/10 and fav it, because I'm sure I'll be back to read it again, it was a delight and thank you for writing it, it was wonderful :) Bobby xx

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you so much for this lovely, lovely review and for recommending my story on the forums. It really means a lot to me how much you enjoyed my this, and the praise means so much more coming from someone who has experienced a loved one with dementia. I really wanted to do this delicate topic justice. Thank you so much for your wonderful words, this review made me very happy! :)

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Review #13, by adluvshp Grizzled

25th April 2013:
Hey! Here for review tag, and also to review your entry for my challenge. (I hope you don't mind me combining the two reviews).

This was such a beautifully written one-shot. I absolutely loved it. I think you portrayed Bill and Fleur's "old" years very well. I felt so sad for Bill, to see how Fleur had "lost herself". The way you wrote him, of how everyone flocked to him, how he was so kind and patient, and how much he still loved his wife, it was all really sweet.

I liked the descriptions of their past life as well - all the little details about Fleur fighting off the death eaters, of their firstborn, of Molly Weasley's funeral, of chopping off Bill's hair, and especially of how Fleur began starting to forget small things.

The little french phrase was a very nice touch as well, and the way you ended the story with it was very sweet and touching. I think you really did an awesome job portraying Bill and Fleur's love, and Fleur's fierceness and Bill's kindness. It was all really well done.

The ending was truly sad in a sense - it was tragic how Fleur wasn't herself anymore - and yet so captivating.

Apart from a few grammar errors and such, this was pretty good, and made for a smooth read. Great job!

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

P.S. Thanks for participating in my challenge, the results should be out in a few days.

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful review! I really loved writing this one-shot and imagining how Bill and Fleur would have aged in a realistic way. I felt so sad for Bill as well, but I know that since he's such a great, loving guy that he would still be there for Fleur no matter what.

It's great to hear that you liked the references to the past! I tried to pick events that would have been important and significant, but also little details of their everyday life. I'm glad you thought the French phrase worked- I was a bit concerned that it was a bit too mushy, but then came to terms with the fact that this story really needed to be a bit, well, mushy. :)

Thank you so much for making this challenge!!! I knew I wanted to write a story of an aged couple, but you assigning me this pairing really fit well and gave the idea life. Having a challenge to write for definitely inspired me, and I really appreciate that! :)

Thank you for this lovely review!!!



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Review #14, by Courtney Dark Grizzled

24th April 2013:
Tag!

This was such a sweet one-shot! Thank you so much for writing it, I really enjoyed reading it and it definitely did make me feel quite sad, and a little reminiscent.

I loved all those memories of Bill and Fleur as younger people, and the way you wrote them, too. Bill's descriptions of Fleur as a young wome were lovely - I especially loved the little bit about the hair cut and the line 'Now you do not look like a ooligan'. That was great, and definitely something I can imagine Fleur saying.

Nice job!
Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hi!! I'm so happy you liked this little story, and that it brought up those feelings in you!! I really loved writing it, although it was tricky, but I'm happy to hear it had a good effect.

Putting in Fleur's dialect was one of my favourite parts. I can just imagine how sweet and silly she and Bill would be together. Thank you so much for the lovely review!!! :)


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Review #15, by Illuminate Grizzled

22nd April 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

Aw, well this is just beautiful. I love your descriptions of Fleur and Bill's life together, and the strength of their love and devotion to each other, it's so desirable.

And it's so desperately sad to see how Fleur's memory has deteriorated. Bill is getting a lot of attention from ladies at their care home, but after all that time he only has eyes for his wife.

It's so wonderfully sad, but very romantic all the same. This is a brilliantly structured, very well written oneshot.

Great job!

Author's Response: Hi there! I'm so glad that you enjoyed and were touched by the story. I definitely tried to channel a lot of emotion into it, and ageing is a very delicate and diverse subject, but I loved exploring it a little through writing.

Thank you so much for your lovely review, I was so thrilled to read it :)


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Review #16, by Pen2Paper Grizzled

20th April 2013:
Gosh! You made me cry!!
This was perfect, beyond perfect really! I just couldn't believe when it ended. Fleur and Bill are wonderfully described in this little story than I've seen ever before. I'm truly speechless, this is such an extraordinary piece of writing!
Well done! This is definitely getting favourited :)
I love the little descriptions you gave of their life together growing old. I've never really appealed to Fleur much but wow this story COMPLETELY changed that! Do you know how amazing that is? that your writing is so powerful and heartfelt that it can change someone's opinion about the pairing featured in your story?!
I was going to pick a different one of your stories but I am thrilled that I went for this instead.

I love it so much! 10/10
Please write more! :) :)

~Cali xx

Author's Response: Aww, this review is so lovely, thank you!! :) I had a really fun but emotional time writing this, and hearing this positive feedback really means so much to me. I'm glad that it changed your mind about Bill/Fleur, I love them together!! This was intended as a one-shot, but who knows, I might come back to it someday! :)

Really, thank you so much for being so kind and complimentary!! *blushes* I really loved the review!! :D


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Review #17, by AlexFan Grizzled

20th April 2013:
Oh my God that was so sad! I feel so bad for Bill and Fleur! My favourite part was definitely where he was thinking about how she used to be. The part where he remembered when she cut his hair made me smile.

This really was a sad ending, I'm sad now (and it doesn't help that I'm reading a kind of sad novel at the moment either).

This was just a really great one-shot. I'll definitely be adding it to my favourites!

Author's Response: Hello, and thank you so much for the lovely review!! :) I'm really happy that you liked the story, it's so great to hear. However, I'm sad that it made you sad!! I had a great time writing it, but it certainly made me a little emotional too, haha. Thanks!!! :)

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Review #18, by ginnys twin Grizzled

18th April 2013:
Here for review tag!

This was beautiful. The poetic-ness was overwhelming and the incorporation of French made it all the more perfect. I loved how you developed Fleur so well so quickly. The only thing I think that could make it better would be a time when Bill was there for Fleur. Overall, this was truly beautiful and I'm SO glad you were the last person to post, this is one of the best one shots I have ever read.

katty01

Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much for the lovely review!! I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed the story, and that is a great idea about putting in a memory about Bill helping Fleur!! Thank you!! :)


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Review #19, by Jchrissy Grizzled

17th April 2013:
Hi darling! Iím here for your review. First of all with your AoC about not knowing how the piece comes across to readers - I think itís really, really heartbreaking. I canít imagine there being much more painful than your spouse of so long not only forgetting you, but disliking you, and I think you got that across really beautifully in this. Your writing as clean and intriguing, and I never had to try and force myself to imagine what was going on so your imagery did itís job.

Starting it through the nurseís eyes was really clever and I loved the way you made it clear where Bill was and why without giving us an ungodly amount of unnecessary information. I did feel like the part where you brought up the Dark Lord was a bit rough. Considering the nurse is a woman who wasnít involved in it, this:

Even in old age, when people began the constant battle against the decay of their bodies and their minds, horrific memories still brought these to the surface. The war was always at the edge of their thoughts: Lord Voldemortís face leered behind every crisp white curtain, the Dark Mark was carved into the beautiful wooden grandfather...

Felt too sudden. Maybe just rewording it so it doesnít seem as matter of fact that the residence would get these thoughts about the dark lord. Something like: when people began the constant battle against the decay of their bodies and their minds, it seemed that horrific memories were the first to surface. Many of the residents from Britain fought against their nightmares about the years that Lord Voldemort had been in power, and often said they saw his face leering behind the crisp, white curtains or the Dark Mark carved into the beautiful wooden grandfather cloth...

Considering so far this story is being told through the eyes of the nurse as she sees her residents, I think that would keep in more in line. It makes it clear the residents think about all this when their minds start losing control, but keeps constant with your later statement that this nurse wasnít alive during that time.

I loved, loved the line that you used as your summary. It felt just perfect where you placed it. One thing I would suggest is adding a page break, either with the line or a * after that sentence. You switch into Billís thoughts at this point and away from the nurses, so this would help break it up and make it clear to the reader that youíre altering something.

I have nothing to CC on regarding your memories that Bill was thinking of about his love for Fleur. The kind of wife she used to be is exactly how Iíd imagined her and it makes it so much more painful to think of how they are now. You switched smoothly from thought to thought, painting us such a clear picture of what their life was like together without over doing. I thin you did a really, really lovely job with that.

This story was incredible engrossing. It made sense and I believe you hit the feelings you wanted to. I can very much see these characters age this way, although we never want to imagine Fleur forgetting Bill. The small details you added, like Billís earring and Fleur blaming him wondering if he took her necklace, all gave the characters plenty to make them feel canon. Aged canon, but canon.

Awesome job, mídear! I hope I was helpful, and good luck on the challenge!

Jami

Author's Response: Hello, thank you so much for such a long and thoughtful review!! :) It's so great to get this feedback on the story, and that the mood of the one-shot was very sad which was what I was of course going for! I also thought that the situation would be so sad, especially for a couple like Bill and Fleur who went through so much at such a young age.

I'm glad that you liked how it started through the nurse's POV- I wanted to emulate a little the third-person narrative JKR begins some of the books with, such as her description of the Dursleys at the beginning of Philosopher's Stone, haha. That's an excellent point you've made about the sudden introduction of the Voldy stuff, and I definitely agree and will be editing soon to polish that up. So thank you!! :) This is why reviews are so great, to tell writers things we don't always notice about our own writing!

Thank you so much for all the lovely comments, and it's wonderful to hear that you thought it stayed true to canon. Thank you for taking the time to leave me such a kind and helpful review, it made me very happy!!! :D



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Review #20, by Carolynn Grizzled

15th April 2013:
I'm here with your requested review!

This is a very sweet story, the best part about old couples is the fact that they loved each other for so long.

I love Bill, He's very sweet in this story. Fleur, it's nice to read a story where the female has women power, I haven't read that in awhile. Good writing!

Author's Response: Hi there! I'm glad that you enjoyed the story and that the love they felt for each other came across, even though a lot of it was shown through memories. Thanks for reviewing! :)

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Review #21, by AHeat Grizzled

14th April 2013:
This reminded me of the Notebook. It was very well done, and perfect for a one-shot. Love it!

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed it! And yes, I guess it does resemble the Notebook a little, haha. Thanks for reviewing!!! :)

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Review #22, by Calypso  Grizzled

14th April 2013:
Here from Review Tag :)

Wow- this was so lovely, but at the same time so sad. I could just perfectly picture the old folks' home, and poor Bill and Fleur.

I thought that your characterisation of Bill was spot on: he seemed very believable as a person, and in his continuing love for Fleur. The idea that all the other residents want to hear stories of the Second War made me smile- it was a really nice touch.

The line: "There was one person who loathed Mr Weasley..." made the transition to the second half of the one-shot perfectly. It was a real surprise to me, and made me want to read and have the situation explained! I liked how the tranquil setting of the home belied the emotional turmoil of the principal characters.

I can't decide if I feel more sorry for Bill or Fleur, but I can certainly understand why Bill loves her so much! The part where he was remembering their life together was beautiful without being cheesy. It wasn't fancy or overdone, just a man remembering his experiences, and all the more touching for it.

And the ending was just perfect, if uncompromising. I'm so glad you didn't have Fleur suddenly recognise him or something, as I wondered might happen- the way it ended was heartbreaking but genuine. :)

Author's Response: Hi there! I'm so happy to hear that you liked the story and that it brought out some emotion. I was worried about the characterization, especially of Bill, so it's wonderful to hear that you thought he came across appropriately. I had a bit of trouble imagining how he'd be in his old age.

It's also very good to hear that the story didn't come across as being cheesy. It was a difficult but interesting voice to take on.

Also, so lovely to hear that you thought the ending was good, I really wanted to make it as genuine and accurate as possible. Thank you so very much for the lovely review, I loved it! :)


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Review #23, by Rosie Grizzled

19th March 2013:
This is an excellent story. It made me have all the feels!

Seriously, great story, great story line, and very well written.

My only suggestion for the story itself would be that, perhaps instead of Fleur "drilling the phrase" into his head, you could strengthen the backstory a smidgen. Maybe make it a phrase Bill learned on his own (maybe with the help of her mother or her sister) specifically for their wedding day.

I liked the bit about Fleur cutting his hair--that made me smile.

One small grammar note: "The Nurses, who been born into years of peace, tried to soothe their residents best they could." It's a little awkward. I'd suggest rewording it to something like "The Nurses, who had been born into years of peace, tried to soothe their residents best they could." or, a more aggressive change, "The Nurses, who were born in the years of peace [and didn't understand the pervasive fear from the days of Voldemort] tried their best to soothe the residents."

This was really lovely. Thank you for sharing.

Author's Response: Thank you for your lovely review! I really appreciate these great suggestions, it would definitely make sense if Bill learned the phrase on his own, I just may go back and change that around a little, so thanks :D it's great to get feedback as it can only make the story better!

I'm so thrilled you liked the story, your kind and helpful comments are really appreciated :)


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