Reading Reviews for Playing Marauders
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by PitchBlue Playing Marauders

29th May 2013:
Hello,

I liked this chapter. It's a nice touch to add the childhood flashbacks, as it all comes together at the end of the chapter, when Dom gets sorted into Slytherin.
It read very nicely, although sometimes the double names of minor characters (Vane - McLaggen for example) interrupted the story flow a bit. But nothing major, I though it was a good introduction and read very nicely!
You mentioned you didn't know whether to leave it as a one - shot or continue, so I'll just give my opinion :) I think this would be good material for a short - story collection, highlighting different moments through their school careers. But you're the writer, so do with it as you please! ;)
All in all, a nice easy-reading chapter!

- PB

Author's Response: thanks so much for your review! I'll go back and edit some of those double-names, thanks for pointing that out!
and i left this as a one-shot, but am writing a sequel that begins in Dom's 4th year (at the platform in the DH epilogue).
again, thanks so much for your review- i'm glad you liked the story :)
~M


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Review #2, by True Author Playing Marauders

10th May 2013:
Hi! Here from the Ravenclaw review battle! =]

I loved your plot idea. Next-gen kids pretending to be marauders is something I haven't read anywhere. I think this could be developed in something longer, but the one-shot is pretty awesome too. I liked your dialogue too. It's very natural. I think some more descriptions would certainly improve this. =]

Good job!

Ashwini

Author's Response: thank you so much for your awesome review- i'll be sure to add more descriptions when i go back and edit this :)
i have chosen to leave this as a one-shot, but my longer fic, Werewolf's Trace is a continuation of this story (but 4 years later) and follows the stories of Dom, James, Roxy, Freddie, and their friends.
Feel free to check it out and let me know what you think!
again, thanks for your review, and i'm glad you like the story :)
~M


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Review #3, by RosieQueen Playing Marauders

7th May 2013:
Hey there! It's Rosie from the BvB review battle! :)

First off, I think this was wonderful. Actually, I thought this was the first chapter of a novel/novella until I saw that it was actually a one-shot! So I would vote that you should continue. After all, you left us off with such a cliff-hanger! I'm also curious as to how Dom will get along with the twins, and how she'll cope with being a Slytherin.

I enjoyed the idea of the next-gen kids pretending to be Marauders. :) Haha, I love how they thought it was a 'super injustice' to be Wormtail. :P

As for critique, I've only got a little bit. While the dialogue was great at the beginning, I feel as if it lacked description. They're talking, but there's no description as to where they are and what they're doing, when, etc. It just starts off like that and suddenly the reader is pulled to King's Cross. So basically, it could help if you added some description at the very beginning and then made the transition to King's Cross a bit smoother.

So overall, this is lovely as both a one-shot and the beginning of a story. If you wanted to continue, I would definitely read on. The characters seem to be developing nicely and I can already see where this story could go if you wanted it to. But either way, a wonderful piece of writing. Great job! :)

~Rosie

Author's Response: so thank you so much for your awesome review! i do agree with you about the dialogue at the beginning and i will go back and edit that for clarification. i've chosen to leave this as a one-shot, but am working on a sequel that is much longer, and focused on Dom's 4th year onwards, starting at platform 9 3/4 in the epilogue. it's called Werewolf's Trace. check it out and let me know what you think! :) and once again, thanks for the super sweet review!
~M


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Review #4, by charlottetrips Playing Marauders

5th May 2013:
Char here from the BvB Review Battle!

I think you should continue! You write so well, more than I actually expected for such a little next gen story :) this honestly feels like a beginning of a story rather than an end. I, along with Dom, hadn't expected her to get sorted into Slytherin so that was a good little twist.

However, what I think I mainly found so endearing was the little "Playing Mauraders" snippets we got of the cousins growing up. It brought more depth to them as compared to the usual "Next Gen goes to Hogwarts for the first time" banality that can be done

If you do continue, I'd be happy to continue reading it so you should let me know!

Char

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review! I'm really glad you like this story :)
I have a longer fic that I'm writing based upon this story, that I'm currently in the process of re-vamping. It's called No Second Chances, though I am seriously considering a name-change/makeover for it. Feel free to check it out if you'd like! And thank you once again for your super sweet review :)
~M


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Review #5, by Avis123 Playing Marauders

12th April 2013:
You really should write a sequel - I love the whole idea of having another set of Marauders. It makes sense that their adventures would be the stuff of legend! I sincerely hope you continue writing it, as it's a really unique story line, and would make a great prologue! Fab job :)

Author's Response: thank you so much for your incredibly sweet review! I am writing a sequel story (called No Second Chances), where I'm continuing the story of Dom and her friends in Slytherin. It's a slightly different take, and it occurs in Dom's 4th year, but feel free to check it out.
Thanks again for reading and for your review (which totally made my day btw!)
~M


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Review #6, by iLuna17 Playing Marauders

3rd April 2013:
Hi. :)

I really, really liked this. It's so hard to get into the mind of a character that young, but you managed it really well. I think the betrayal of James, especially of how he's probably thinking, was extremely accurate. It's been ingrained into his brain that Slytherins are betraying and evil, and so now Dom is alone and scared.

I'd really love to see more of these characters. While a fair amount can be inferred based on the few short scenes and their houses, I really want to see them become more... 3D. The little things, you know? How their body language says some things, their faces, and their little quirks.

Of course, I loved the theme of this. The abandonment when the hat calls out Slytherin, and it leaves me wondering how Dom will react. Sometimes houses can change personalities, and I want to know just how prejudiced the universe you created is.

If you decide to continue this, I would love to see more!

Ellie (also I found Charlie calling Dom 'D' kind of funny, as I as thinking about Dudley and 'Big D')

Author's Response: thank you so much for your review- i'm so glad you like it! I'm working on a sequel fic (which will be longer), that takes place during Dominique's 4th year and Albus's first year. my first chapter is in the queue, and should be up soon- it's called No Second Chances.
Also, i didn't even think about Dudley, but that is funny now that you mention it :)
~Mara


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Review #7, by Avis123 Playing Marauders

20th March 2013:
Please please please carry on writing!!!

Author's Response: thank you for your review! im thinking I might write a longer story that takes place a few years after the sorting (so this would be somewhat of a prequel). What do you think?
~M


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