Reading Reviews for Almost Perfect.
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by oldnumberseven  "Hidden".

17th July 2013:
Aaaand the flood gates have finally opened!

I was waiting for you to circle back to Onyx to see how she was coping with things. I figured that when her parents died, things would take a turn for the worse and boy, I was right. It's tragic to see her turning towards the dark side (if you will, haha) but hopefully her friends will help her get out of her depression/funk. But she has to put down her stoic defenses and let them in, which I have a feeling is going to take a lot of effort on her part. And I don't think she's ready to do that just yet ;)

Your story is now on my favorites list, so I'll be checking to see when you post the next chapter XD

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Review #2, by oldnumberseven  Conscience

17th July 2013:
Oh yeahhh, you go Onyx! Punch the shit of Bellatrix!

Ahem, sorry. Had to say it ;)

I love the way your story is evolving (the bit about Sirius demanding that they protect an innocent life is mwah! Bellissmo!), especially as the POV changes around all the characters of the story. I already feel I know the canons really well (but that might be because I'm very obsessed with the Marauders Era) but I feel attached to Onyx in the same way. It's almost as if she was meant to be the books, right along side them ... which I have to say, is really hard to do. So props for making such a realistic story/plot :D

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Review #3, by oldnumberseven  Something's Different.

17th July 2013:
Oh my god, you write such a perfect Sirius. He's so ... Sirius, haha!

I love reading his descriptions of Onyx because it's so different from the way she sees herself. And I also love his internal conflict going on - What am I doing? Why do I really like the sight of Onyx getting out of the Black Lake when I'm just about to get it on with some other chick? It's all very lovely :D

One minor thing though. The text is really spaced out so maybe if you have the time, you should just go through and delete some of the gaps?

Author's Response: you are honestly an inspiration! i have not been on here for a while due to getting things together with college and now adjusting to college life and all the homework but your excitement and reviews have made something spark in me. I know it's late but thank you so much. i appreciate the feedback and I'll have something up hopefully sometime this week :)

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Review #4, by oldnumberseven  Starting Out

17th July 2013:
I'm fascinated by your story and it's only the first chapter!

I already want to know more about Onyx. She's very realistic and relatable and I love the paradox of her fighting for her friends and family but not defending herself when the Slytherins call her fat. And it's interesting to see that the only way she knows how to deal with things is to start dieting.

Well, onto the next one! :D

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Review #5, by naflower05 Conscience

23rd April 2013:
Good chapter! I wonder what's gonna happen now. Is her grandma gonna get killed too? And what's Bellatrix gonna do? Update again soon! =]

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review (: I am working on the next chapter as much as I can, it's just difficult because of all the last minute work their giving us for my senior year, but it should be up soon!

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Review #6, by naflower05 "Golden"

10th April 2013:
Oh no! =[ But I did like the bit of backstory. Update again soon! =]

Author's Response: did the back up story help much at all? I didn't really want to delve too much into the past because of all of the things going on in their present ya know? but thank you for reviewing, i appreciate it sooo much and i'm almost finished typing the next chapter out so that should be up for validation soon (:

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Review #7, by naflower05 Something's Different.

30th March 2013:
interesting story. a bit of back story on Onyx would be nice. update again soon! =]

Author's Response: thank you so much (:
I will try to add one in, in the next chapter!

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