Reading Reviews for Lilyís Love
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Already There Lily's Love

21st August 2013:
This is a nice short little story. I like how Lily contrasts herself and Harry. I also liked the lines about what Lily would tell people and then what she really thinks, tying back to the first few lines. Very cool.

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! :) I was having writers block, so I wrote this to shake it off and actually came out with something I liked. So thank you very much for reviewing, I'm glad you liked it!

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Review #2, by Canadian_Hogwarts Lily's Love

8th August 2013:
Wow! I really liked this piece. You've got a beautiful way with words. I particularly enjoyed the style; the italicized expressions and then the explanations afterwards made everything flow nice and smoothly. Great work!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I really tried hard with this piece to craft it more artfully- I'm glad it paid off. Thank you for reviewing, you're very kind :)

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Review #3, by caomoyl Lily's Love

15th July 2013:
Despite being short, this was such a powerful one shot! I love the way you used the italicised sentences; it really made them stand out. It felt like those parts were the statements and the rest were the thoughts and feelings, but those started to mix together towards the end.

Lily's longing to be with Harry but also wanting him to live was heartbreaking. How she watched him grow up without her and James and wishing so much that she could have been a part of it.

The lines 'I died because I couldn't move. I couldn't live in a world without him.' really tugged at my heart because she died not wanting him to die but then had to watch him live without her which couldn't have been any easier for her. I just want to reach in and give her a huge hug.

Great job with tearing me apart with this!

Author's Response: I did feel as though it concluded itself very quickly- but I didn't want to shove in fillers, y'know? Making it longer doesn't necessarily make it better. Oh, yeah, the conversation she'd have is italicized, but what she means is normal. You've hit it on the head :)
I think any parent that really loves their child would feel that way- at the end of the day, she has a responsibility to Harry to look after him and some ways, I think she'd think she failed him.
Thank you so much for the lovely review, you're very kind :)


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Review #4, by starryskies55 Lily's Love

14th July 2013:
oh my god I have goosebumps. This was amazing!

I don't think I've really read many stories about Lily in the afterlife, but this one was incredibly haunting. your short sentences and the juxtapositioning of words really added to this and was incredibly well done.
I especially liked that you implied that Lily was a little selfish- she didn't want to go on in a world without Harry or James, so she chose to die. I don't really see her as selfish, but its quite interesting and it was a good contrast for Harry who died in an act that would actually save his friends.

This was very well written, very moving, and I really enjoyed it. Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!
To be honest, I don't know where it came from, but I knew I hadn't read much like it so I thought why not? It seemed to work out okay. I really did try with the sentence structure- thank you for noticing :)
Yeah. I mean, I know JK always said that love in a relationship is nothing compared to love parents have for their children, but I do think that her love for James was powerful enough to shatter her thoughts into just 'don't let Harry die'. Thanks.
Thank you for reviewing- I'm glad you enjoyed it!


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Review #5, by frog Lily's Love

29th March 2013:
Wow! Your story is really moving! Well done! :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much :)

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Review #6, by Sugar Quills Lily's Love

23rd March 2013:
Love this. Love all of it.
It's so sad, especially with the meaning behind the words, but at the same time, it's enlightening. It brings a new layer to Lily Potter, as if it's a rose, and you're peeling away the petals.
Unfortunatly, and I hate having to do this, after you know who criticised me for doing it on the bus, but you kinda had a grammatical error. 5th paragraph, 1st sentence. Just thought you might want to know
But in all seriousness, bring out more of these one shots. As soon as possible, please? However, if you are thinking between chapters or one-shots, do the chapters :P

Author's Response: I'm glad you do :) We can talk on the bus if you want.
Lily's great. But I hate the way her story is basically Sev vs James, so I thought this would be awesome.
HOW DO I NOT NOTICE THESE THINGS?! It's being changed. Thanks for pointing it out!
Eh, one-shots are for when I get writer's block on my stories, so there might not be many, but I'll see.


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Review #7, by Whoever Lily's Love

11th March 2013:
He never puts lilies down. But he tells me everything.

I like that.

Author's Response: See below XD

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Review #8, by Whoever Lily's Love

11th March 2013:
He never puts lilies down. But he tells me everything.

I like that.

Author's Response: See below :-P

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Review #9, by Whoever Lily's Love

11th March 2013:
He never puts lilies down. But he tells me everything.

I like that.

Author's Response: See below :-)

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Review #10, by Whoever Lily's Love

11th March 2013:
He never puts lilies down. But he tells me everything.

I like that.

Author's Response: Thank you :) I didn't know whether to include it or not, but then I realised it was the closest she ever came to saying her own name and had to keep it.

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Review #11, by marauder5 Lily's Love

10th March 2013:
What a beautiful and emotional story. I think this is exactly what Lily would feel like as she's watching Harry and his family from wherever she might be. Very sad, and beautifully written. Thank you for writing this!

Author's Response: I was SO worried this one-shot was rubbish until I read this. Thank you.
While Lily was wonderful, I think she's seen too much as 'perfect'- she was human and flawed too, and I just wanted to explore that. I'm glad you enjoyed it :) Thank you so much for writing that review! I was nearing a crisis of confidence until you did.


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