I loved this one shot, I think for the "sad-ending challenge" it was such a beautiful yet sorrow thing.
I went to see Ed Sheeran last year in November at Newcastle and it was quite a small venue and when he played this song I admit I teared up, the raw emotion that he had in his song also carried through in your writing.
Not many people show miscarriages from the fathers point of view and I found it to be an accurate and believable viewpoint. Its really good, well done~Q.O.NAuthor's Response: I'm so glad you liked it.
I saw Ed Sheeran on the 1st of March in Sydney, and at that time, we were the biggest crowd he'd ever had! When he performed this song though, it was beautiful and I just wanted to try and replicate it, even just a tiny bit. ♥
It was probably accurate because my mother went through a miscarriage and although I am not a father (nor a male), I knew what it felt like. A few people have commented on this so I've actually drawn it from my own experiences. I'm glad that it's believable!
Thanks for the lovely review! ♥ Report Review
Meow hey Kayla! I've been many to check out this one-shot for several reasons like it being an Aundrey/Percy, it has ANDREW GARFIELD ON ITS BANNER *casual fangirling*, the banner is awesome and it's an Ed Sheeran song! So all in all, a recipe for an awesomesauce story:D
I don't think I can recover from that, I need a cat. NOW! Wub :'( I obviously knew it was going to be sad given what challenge it was entered for, and the song name gave hints, but I didn't expect that. I think it was when Percy referred to the baby as his son it clicked in my head.
The beginning was so adorable though, with him and Audrey deciding what the baby would look like, and the gentle teasing and blushing. It was too cute to be true. I really love how you made Percy relatable and a nice person as that's what I imagined him to be like so I'm glad it fit my head canon.
Then the way he was thinking of his nephews and how they could play together. Wub. I don't think I can ever recover, as he was so happy and blissful and for that to then happen!
This one-shot was perfect and think this line - 'He couldnít wait to hear him saying his name, not as Percy but as, ďDaddyĒ.' made it, as it contrasted so much to the ending.
Totally adding to my favourites great work Kayla, and I'm definitely going to check out more when I have time as I've loved what I've read of yours so far :D
-KianaAuthor's Response: Hey Kiana! :D
ANDREW GARFIELD IS JUST BEAUTIFUL OMG I LOVE HIM ♥
AND ED SHEERAN IS JUST PERFECTION, I CAN'T HANDLE HIS PERFECTION UGH
*hands you a cat* I'm sorry! :p
I'm glad you liked it, it was a pretty personal one-shot for me. :)
When I wrote that line, I was like, "NO. I CAN'T DO THIS TO PERCY. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!"
I just made a sort of whale-like noise and kept writing ahaha. :p
I'm really glad you liked it, you're far too kind! ♥
Thanks for the AMAZING! review! :D Report Review
Hello! Here to review your entry for my challenge.
Aw this was such a sad piece. I could cry =(
Your writing style is really good, you managed to convey a lot of emotions in a short piece. I feel so sad for Percy, he seemed so excited for the baby, and then the end, oh dear. I like the inclusion of Percy actually repenting his past mistakes and thinking about telling his child about them all, and of giving his child a better life. And then, in the end, when Percy thinks he has failed as a father like he failed as a brother, it tied in really well with the whole scenario you presented earlier (though it ripped my heart). That one ending sentence itself was very powerful.
All in all, I think you did a great job writing this and I really liked it. Your writing style, characterisation, plot, and emotional intensity was very good.
The only CC I have is that perhaps I'd have liked a little more description, but I understanding that you were aiming for shorter descriptions to synchronise it with the lyrics so it's okay. So, good job!
Thanks for entering this in my challenge. The results should be announced in a few days/weeks.
(AditiDraco95)Author's Response: Hello there! :D
I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D
A few people said I should have added more description, but I purposely did that. I've actually experienced it through my mother, and honestly, the whole situation felt like it lasted one second. I'm glad you understand though!
Thanks for putting up the challenge! Without it, this would have never been posted!
Thanks for the lovely review! :D Report Review
Hey! Siriusly89 here with review two of your prize!
I love Ed Sheeran so much, but unfortunately I know how this song ends, so Iím not looking forward to the end. Iím still recovering from your last one-shot, and I have a feeling this one is going to get me going all over again!
Poor, poor Percy. He seems so excited now, but I know whats coming. I like how heís open to sharing his mistakes with his son, as usually a childs hero is their dad. It shows that Percy is properly sorry for what he did, and is ready to embrace his mistakes, and isnít just going to brush them in under the rug.
The reference to Percyís relationship with his family was good. Because lets face it, he didnít go off and desert them for no reason whatsoever, he obviously felt a deep resentment towards his mother, his father and his siblings. His promise to always be truthful to him, and to always support him was so sweet. And them him looking at his nephews and getting all excited about his son being able to walk and talk. Gaaah! Iím a puddle. Iím a puddle!
Aaaah! The end where Percy felt it was somehow his fault was heartbreaking! Because lets face it, in these situations, people blame themselves, even though it is a uncontrollable tragedy.
Gah! Another brilliant piece!
Ed Sheeran lovers for-eva! *high five!*Author's Response: Hello again!
The song is just perfect, oh my god. :') It's just so amazing!!
Yeah, people always blame themselves when something like that happens. I guess it's just human nature, but it shouldn't be! D:
Anyway, glad you liked this as well! :D
*High-fives back!* (I totally didn't press my palm against the laptop screen)
Thanks for the amazing review and the second place, again! :D Report Review
I must admit, that I absolutely love this song to pieces, it is definitely one of my favourite Ed Sheeran songs and that was one of the reasons that I read this. I don't tend to read song-fics that much, but this was so beautifully structured, each little snippet giving us a glimpse as to how excited Percy and Audrey were, only to have their unborn son cruelly taken away from him. It did make me tear up a little *sniffs* Just a little note, maybe draw out the miscarriage part a little longer? For me, personally it just ended a little too abruptly, maybe one part talking about the pain, another about receiving the news? But that's minor, you did a really great job on this :D
~AishaAuthor's Response: Hey, Aisha! :D
It's one of my favourites as well. :')
I'm glad you liked the structuring, it gave me hell! :p
See, I lost a little brother due to my mum having a miscarriage as well (one of my main reasons to writing this) and honestly, it feels like one second you're getting excited for a new pair of feet running around the house and then the next it's literally torn away from you. I don't remember much because it was nearly nine years ago but I do remember Mum and Dad telling us and it was so shocking and really appeared out of nowhere.
Also, I didn't want to make it too graphic because it IS a very sensitive issue for a lot of people.
I do see your point, though I probably won't change it because I purposely did that. Thanks for the tip anyway! :)
Thanks for the lovely review, dear! ♥ Report Review
I knew you were going to break my heart - before I even clicked on the story, I just knew it but I read it anyway oh my god. I can't imagine going through something as heartbreaking as this, but I think you portrayed it really well. And it was so hard to read through Percy and Audrey's excitement about the baby only to have it taken from them. But it was extremely well written and a wonderful little story (SO SAD THOUGH) and I wish you the best of luck in your challenge! It certainly was a sad ending :(
~Jess :DAuthor's Response: I do that to myself too sometimes. :p
Thank you for all your compliments, you're far too kind! :D
Thanks for the review! :) Report Review
Aww, I adore this song...
That song-fic is just lovely! It is sad though - I wish it had a happier ending... However, I really like your portrayal of Percy and the fact that at the end he regreted what a brother he had been.
Also I spotted an error and I thought you would like to know : in the lyrics of the song the text is "And I'll hold you tightly and tell you nothing BUT truth", not "... nothing ABOUT truth...", but that really isn't that important at all. More important is that this fanfiction is just wonderful and you are simply one flawless author! :)
KristenAuthor's Response: yeah me too. :')
I'm glad you liked my portrayal of Percy, it was strange to write him!
ACK. That's what I get for copying and pasting lyrics from a random website! Thanks for pointing that out!
You're FAR TOO KIND! Thank you for that lovely comment! ♥
Thanks for the amazing review! *hugs* Report Review
Oh, poor Percy! Throughout the whole thing, I felt nothing but happiness and joy, to see Percy be happy instead of being his usual serious, proper self. It was so nice, to see a glimpse of him entering fatherhood. And then that ending? That shook me. He was going to have a son! And his baby boy was torn from him. And this line right here:
"He had failed as a father, just as he failed as a brother."
That was heart wrenching. He's so hard on him self, and I just feel so sorry for Perce.
Lovely work as always, Kayla. 10/10!
p.s.: I read you response to my last author note, and don't worry, I understand. Take as much time as you need. Good luck with exams and hopefully your break is spifftacular!Author's Response: That's what I thought about when I first heard the song. I was like, "Aww, so sweet - he's so adorable I love him, wait - no, nO, STOP IT, ED! I AM CRYING NOW OKAY THEN JUST BE EVEN MORE PERFECT ALRIGHTY DON'T MIND ME OVER MY TEARS AND EMOTIONS!" :p
Yes. His son was taken away from him. :'( It's mean but...
Sorry about that line. My version of Percy is always hard on himself and I had to make the baby a boy to kind of relate to Fred in some way. D:
Thanks for the review, Pearl! You're always so nice and beautiful! :'D Report Review
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