Reading Reviews for Forgotten
  
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by iatevoldysnose Forgotten

9th June 2013:
That was a very emotional piece, and you wrote it very well. It's really sad that people actually feel this way and that they would actually do anything to rid themselves of pain and suffering. You showed this pretty well in the story:)

I liked how you wrote the whole story and how it was structured, and I liked how you put in the part where James leaves the carriage, as it shows how she feels in the real world (does that make sense?) It shows how the emotions she's feeling are true (in her mind anyway) and that what she's feeling is what others think of her (though this may or may not be true, this is how it seems like she's thinking)

I read some of the other reviews, and I understand what you mean when you say that she feels unloved and unwanted due to her parents showing more love towards Scorpius. This does make people feel down and even depressed.

It was really sad when she jumped off, I want to know how her parents felt after she committed, and whether they realized what they had done to her. It'd be nice to read a sequel or something of the sort...

Great work with this story! Can't wait to read more from you (I will get around to reviewing PBGT eventually (; ). You should write more angsty, sad stories like this...you write it well :)

Love,
iatevoldysnose xox

Author's Response: Well hello there! Thank you very much for such a lovely review!

I read somewhere that, like 100,000 adolescents commit every year, and that really made me sad, so I decided to write something that would make people aware of that.

Yeah, Luciana thought nobody liked her, and James leaving made her realise she was right. Don't worry - that made plenty of sense :)

I did think I made it a bit unclear as to why her parents neglected her, but you got that from the responses to my reviews, right? So yeah, she thought her parents loved Scorpius more, which made her depressed.

I am currently writing a sequel to this called "Remembered" in Astoria's POV, so hopefully that should clear things up as to how her parents thought after she died.

Thank you! (I look forward to seeing you there!) I think I will be writing more angsty stuff now, so watch out for that ;)

Summer x


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Review #2, by albuslilyjamespotter Forgotten

20th April 2013:
Wow! Amazing but very sad Hehee I liked how you described the end bit and how death was the next adventure

Author's Response: Yer, Dumbledore said something like death being the next adventure, so I *borrowed* it. I'm glad you liked it! xxx

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Review #3, by RosieWeasly11 Forgotten

16th April 2013:
Bit depressing and yes you are mad!!! Jks loved it and I was like omg why did she jump!! She could of at least attempted to stop it? Get more involved in life!! Stil great story xxx

Author's Response: Yessh - depressing is what I do best (; She jumped because she was super-super-super depressed and suicidal, unfortunately. But I'm glad you liked it! xxx

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Review #4, by house elf Forgotten

16th April 2013:
Hi! I'm not too sure how I stumbled upon this story, but I thought it deserved a review. :)

You wrote this really well. I think the writing quality got increasingly better as it went on as the sentence structure starts to change, which I suppose isn't so surprising since the drama happens later on. The last line particuarly made an impact. :(

I really really liked how many aspects of Luciana are so different - in fact, the opposite - to what you see a lot around this site; she despises Hogwarts, hates being a witch. It's refreshing (although makes me feel terrible for the poor girl :( ).

As she cut, I could really visualise what was happening... it was horrible, in the best way possible!

How did she know the way home from the train station, though? I would never survive a four hour walk alone from a place I've never been before :P

I wonder if Luciana has read Harry Potter? I can't think how else she's heard of Dumbledore's 'death is but the next greatest adventure' line ;)

I wonder what her parents did afterwards? I'd like to think they felt remorse but it seems as if this is what they wanted all along :/ That's one thing I felt was a bit unclear - why do they hate their daughter so much? Is it simply because she's female?

Anyways, sorry for the rambly review... Despite the subject matter (which made me shiver :O), this was really enjoyable to read!

You should totally write more like this :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review!

I'm glad you liked it! I read somewhere (I'm not sure where?) that Draco and Astoria had a daughter, but I've never really read a story about her, so it came into my head that she was neglected and the Malfoys sort of hid her away.

I had a bit of trouble with the cutting scene :/ This got rejected a few times because that scene glorified the act, so the one on the site has been edited a lot from the original. I wasn't sure how to write it without being too graphic but making an impact at the same time. I'm glad I managed to do that!

I didn't put this in the story, but in my head I imagined her to be very observant and conscious of her surroundings. I thought maybe her hard past would contribute to that. Or maybe she just has good instincts? :P

Maybe she has read Harry Potter, you never know! But I was thinking about that while I wrote it and I thought it would be a nice finishing line.

Ooh, you just gave me an idea for a sequel! I wasn't planning on doing something like that, but if I do, I'll definitely have to credit you! I might write about how Draco and Astoria dealt with it, if they remembered, etc. As for why they hate her, I thought that, like in the past, females haven't always been considered as much as males - like if a princess was born and then a prince, the male would be king before (not in the present times, obviously, because of the "oldest is monarch first!" thing) and I thought the case would be the same for pure-bloods. They didn't necessarily hate Luciana, they just thought Scorpius was more deserving of their attention because he was a boy. I guess it seems kind of stupid, but meh, my mind works in a weird way :3

Don't worry - I love rambly reviews! I'm sorry for my rambly reply :D

I think I will write more depressing stories now - thank you so much for the lovely review! xxx


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