Reading Reviews for Why am I friends with you?
  
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Review #1, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Prologue

18th March 2015:
Hi, I'm swinging by to review for the HPFF fundraiser.

I think this was a good start to a story, but I'm eager to see more detail. For instance, everything that happens here seems like a baseline, and there's so much more that we could see. Everyone knows that at some point Seamus and Dean got on their first train to Hogwarts, and that eventually they become friends. And we don't learn that much more than that in this chapter. I'd love to see them getting to know each other a bit more, talking about their families, or have Seamus start explaining Quidditch, or something. Anything that might surprise the reader. It was amusing to see other familiar faces (although in the books, Luna is a year younger than Harry & co., by the way) but we also didn't get to hear much from them. I liked how stern Hermione was, though.

I liked how you've set up Dean as the quieter one, and Seamus as a little more aggressive; it's good to differentiate characters. However, it was a little distracting the way Seamus had an "Oi" at the beginning of many statements, and a "mate" at the end. Most people don't talk like that. I think just one "oi" for this chapter would have been fine, and also just a single "mate".

Overally, this was an interesting start to a story, and it's nice to see you focusing on Seamus and Dean, but I'd definitely love to see more detail. Good luck with this!

-lllb

Author's Response: Thank you, I'll definitely try and put that into practice when I write the next chapter!

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