Reading Reviews for Every Song Must End
  
40 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Chazzie Bitter...

19th August 2014:
Hi there! It's Chazzie from the Pit for our August Reveiw exchange :)
Well, that was beautifully written. It flowed fantastically, and had an interesting rhythm to it. The italicised (is that a word?) sentence at the end of each segment really works, and I love the fact that you wrote this with 501 words, instead of the typical 500. In particular, your use of contrast between both short and long sentences, and between the dark and light moments in this story. Personally I feel that you've really captured Draco here, in all aspects of his personality. I love stories that are sad but carry that vein of hope throughout, and your story really did that.
Now I'm off to review the companion story to this. (I have a confession. I read it first, this second. I'm sorry.) because it was also amazing.
Lottie

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Review #2, by alicia and anne Bitter...

20th June 2014:
Hello! I am here for your reviews! I'm pretty excited about reading your stories, especially that Sirius one I've spied at the top of your page. (I absolutely adore Sirius stories. :D)

Anyways, on to this amazing one shot. And it was that, amazing.

I really liked how you got so many feelings across in so little words and with no dialogue as well! I'm so impressed, I might have to try that one day. And maybe do your personal challenge of no apostrophes, Athough I'm not sure if I could do it...

I felt quite sorry for Draco and the way that he described himself as bitter was quite a nice touch. He is bitter and he has plenty of reason to be, but I'm glad that Astoria was there to heal his soul, and that he wanted her too.

You used the Doctor Who quote fantastically, it fit into the story very well I think. In fact, I liked all of the last sentences of the paragraphs.

This was brilliant. :D

Author's Response: Hello! *waves* I'm pretty excited about reading your stuff too! Fair warning on Sirius - it's my first fic, so it's understandably an exercise of patience!

I'm so happy you liked it! I definitely recommend trying to not write with dialogue, especially if it's something on which you rely heavily. It's an oddly liberating experience, letting go of your writing crutches! Avoiding apostrophes is much harder though. I never though of punctuation as being particularly tenacious until I wrote this piece :P

I loved writing Draco this way. It's as if the war gave him clarity on the kind of person he is - and he doesn't like that person at all. There's a lot of self-loathing there, which I think is why he's so drawn to Astoria. She accepts him as he is.

That Doctor Who quote was literally the best thing that could have happened to my writing. I feel as if after writing this piece, I've become a much better writer! Thank goodness for the Ood!

Thank you for your wonderful review :)


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Review #3, by Lostmyheart Bitter...

14th April 2014:
Oh. My. God.

Even though it was short and written in a way that was so simple and almost lyrical, it was beautiful.
It was precisive and it descripted how it was for Draco before and after the war so perfectly and it amazed me that you managed to do so with so little words! *applause*
I loved reading this. I seriously did. And the way you made him think, it hit me hard. I don't know why. Maybe because I can understand the way he thinks, the way you make him think. He is hopeless, he is in too deep, he is in the dark and unable to find the light. Then she comes.
Ugh... so beautiful.
I had to read this, since I read the part from Astoria's POV.

These lines:
It did not mean that his song, too, would one day end.
And if it did, never this soon.
Never this fast.
Never this way.

They hit me so hard, I felt my heart ache... Is it weird that I felt so emotional while reading your story? :P

Anyway, I better wrap this review up before it gets too long. I loved this story and I seriously loved reading it!

- Avi

Author's Response: Ah! Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it :)

I was really surprised by how well my version of Draco's story fit in with the quote I received. I was just really lucky I guess - the quote and Draco lend themselves well to this sort of style.

I'm sososo happy that you could empathise with Draco! Empathy is like the biggest driving force behind this piece.

Thanks so much for this incredibly lovely review! *gives chocolate for heartache*


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Review #4, by TheGirlOnFire Bitter...

15th March 2014:
Hi! This is for the blackout bingo. 7/20, :)

This made me smile. The idea that Astoria healed Draco made me smile. Draco deservedto find some happiness after what he went through. I loved the way you wrote this, I really felt what Draco was feeling. It's a wonderful skill to have, Bering able to make your readers feel something in particular. The use of the quote was brilliant. That episode of DW is one of my favour and that line is so powerful. I really like how you used it to help tell the story. Tue end of Draco's bad year's and the start of his New future. I like Draco and I hate it when he's portrayed as a bad person, I'm glad that you didn't do that. I hope that you do continue writing stories like this.


TheGirlOnFirexx

Author's Response: Yeah, I'm really terrible with angst, so I wanted to give this a happy ending. I love the idea of love healing Draco, and because I'm a bit of a fan of canon, it couldn't be anyone else but Astoria!

So happy that you found the piece emotive! The word limit created a great environment for visceral reactions and not much room to elaborate. And how good is that DW episode? I cried when I watched it.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing :)


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Review #5, by maraudertimes Bitter...

13th March 2014:
Hi there!

Let me first just say: wow. Just... wow! I've never really read anything in this style before, but this was amazing and unlike anything EVER! You reduced me to tiny tears at the end of it.

I really liked how you got into Draco's mind, told the story of how he felt during the times he suffered through. I loved how you could tell he was not truly one of Voldemort's servant's, but more apprehensive about the whole thing. I think you perfectly captured the unease Draco would be feeling in the situations, and his reactions to what was happening around him.

I absolutely loved the ending, how Astoria approached him, like he was too scared to do, and helped heal him. It was really sweet (a little like her coffee), and I think the end remark about how Draco's song had ended but the song of Draco and Astoria had only just begun was so heartwrenchingly beautiful and I commend you for it.

This truly was a magnificent piece and I utterly adored it. It was short, sweet, sad, and other adjectives that start with S that are complimentary. Amazing job!

Lo:)

Gryffindor vs Slytherin Blackout Battle Round 3 Review 5/20

Author's Response: I'm always really surprised with the reactions that I get for this story. I'd never written something like this, nor have I written anything like it since, but it was still surprisingly easy! And tiny tears! OMG! That's definitely a first for one of my stories!

I loved getting inside Draco's head for this! He's the perfect character to write some good quality angst, but then with this glimmer of hope at the end - no one else in canon quite lends themselves as well to the task as Draco Malfoy!

Astoria must have diabetes or something with all the sugar she drinks in her coffee! She should definitely switch to one of those synthetic sweeteners!

Thanks so much for this absolutely lovely review! How many times have I said that now? ;)


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Review #6, by Akussa Bitter...

6th March 2014:
Hi! I'm here for the blackout bingo / battle (it seems to have a bunch of names I'm not too sure about!)

That was so unusual, I really enjoyed it greatly! The rythm and flow was so beatifull, I felt like I was feeling rather than reading. I know that sounds strange but it's the only way I can explain it.

I really like the way you presented Draco and how low his estime is considering what he has to do (and with good reasons).

This challenge you set on yourself is great and I applaud you for that. Going out of your confort zone like that was pretty bold and must have asked a lot of "self control" as to not resort into your old habits. You did great though and, had you not mentionned it at the end, I would have believed that it is your usual style so much that it seemed to feel natural for you.

I really enjoyed this story, the content and well as the format which was orignal and refreshing. Great job!

review 3/15

Author's Response: There are a lot of names for the competition, aren't there?

This was way different from my usual writing style, so I'm glad you enjoyed it. And I get what you mean about feeling the piece. It felt quite visceral writing this, and I suppose some of that translated over.

It was interesting picking Draco for this piece. His story fits rather well with the theme, so I couldn't resist!

I don't know if I deserve the applause - I haven't done anything like this since. I really should try and stretch myself out of my comfort zone more often :P

Thanks so much for the review!


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Review #7, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Bitter...

2nd March 2014:
Hi there!

Here for the review battle!

So this was really unusual... I haven't read anything like it at all. I really enjoyed it though so well done to you!

I realised early on it was Draco you were writing about and I think you did an excellent job of catching his pain, something we really get to see. He really doesn't have an easy time and has to witness and take part in a lot of atrocities and you did a good job of capturing how that effects him!

When the girl came in I was really hoping it was Astoria so I was pleased when it was at the end. I like how you've left a lot of this up to our imagination but gave us hope that Draco would be better now with Astoria.

Great job on an interesting one-shot! I really enjoyed it!

Lauren :)
Review 6 of 10

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it even though it was a little weird. My usual style is nothing like this at all, but it was still wonderful to write.

Ah! I'm glad that you figured out it was Draco! It wasn't meant to be a big secret, but by not mentioning his name in the beginning I might have caused some confusion.

I'm a hardcore Drastoria shipper - it couldn't be anyone else :P

Thanks so much for the review!


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Review #8, by Kinnu Bitter...

22nd February 2014:
Hey,

Here from review tag!

I love how you integrated the phrase into the story and the challenge without apostrophes you set yourself. Maybe I should try it sometime too?

Honestly, I loved how you presented Draco's self depreciation. And somewhere in the middle of all that, there was a lingering hope. Hope for a better tomorrow. Something Draco didn't think he deserved.

Draco always struck me as an introspective guy, no matter how he outwardly presents himself and that quality of his shone through in this story.

Draco/Astoria is not what I usually read since I'm a hard-core Dramione fan but this was beautifully written and the emotions clearly showed.

But I wonder what Astoria is doing in a 'dinghy little coffee shop with a grimy window'? Or is this Astoria not 'pureblood-princess Astoria Greengrass'? Just a doubt.

Happy to review,
Kinnu

Author's Response: Hello!

Totally try it out! It's quite difficult and because possession usually uses apostrophes in English (as in "the dog's bone) you can come off sounding really old-fashioned and wordy when you can't use them (like "the bone of the dog") - difficult when I wanted to only use 501 words!

I'm glad that you felt that there was a hope for him somewhere, even in the middle of the story. That's what the quote represents to me, and I'm happy that it came through :) And Draco is totally an instrospective dude! All that brooding HBP... ;)

That's so cool of you to read something out of your comfort zone! I'm now doubly glad that you enjoyed it :D

The coffee shop is on her way to work? She's a little indie? She's going through a "I like muggles. I'm a COOL pureblood" phase? I don't really know :P Definitely room for a sequel, that's for sure!

Thanks for dropping by :)


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Review #9, by UnluckyStar57 Bitter...

30th December 2013:
Hello! I'm here from the Fourth Day of the Twelve Days of Reviewing. Usually I review Not Normal for you, but since I've already reviewed all of those chapters, I thought that I would check this story out. :)

Although it's so short, it is SUPER amazing. Doctor Who=perfection, and you used the quote to its fullest advantage. (Go, Team Ood!) I think that it's really awesome of you to try something so new and different, like focusing more on description and not using any apostrophes. It must have been a challenge, but I think you pulled it off VERY well!!

Ah, Draco. I love how you called him "the chosen one," which evokes memories of Harry being the Chosen One. In that, I think, he and Draco are good foils of each other. I'm reading the sixth book right now (for about the tenth time), and now that I think about it, Draco and Harry were basically doing the same things all year, but they served different masters. Thanks for putting that into perspective for me! :D

But even bad guys can love, right? I'm so glad that Draco found someone to think about and to wish that he could make her happy. I know that you didn't name her, but is it Astoria Greengrass? I would like to think that his marriage to Astoria (in canon) was a step on the road to getting better--after all, he had a tough couple of years, being Voldemort's chosen one. I love how you tied in healing, with "She healed his soul." It tied everything together!

Another great story!

Happy Holidays!

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hello! So glad you could drop by!

I'm so happy that you like this! Like I said in my AN, this is WAY different to how I usually write, but I felt that something different was the best way to honour the Doctor Who quote, especially because the Ood are also something different!

Draco always felt a little like the Harry Potter of Team Death Eaters, so I couldn't resist the whole "chosen one" thing. And it's a phrase that's very dramatic as well, which fits in quite nicely with the whole piece.

Bad guys love the hardest, dude. I couldn't just leave the poor bloke all alone for the rest of his life, you know? I think in the last line I mention that it's Astoria, but like really briefly. I'm a bit of a stickler for canon, so the canon pairing was the obvious choice here! And I like to think the same thing!

Happy Holidays to you, too, and thanks for this lovely review!


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Review #10, by BitterSweetFlames Bitter...

15th December 2013:
Hello there. :D I totally chose this story to read because I saw Doctor Who AND the title was about the Ood, which is ALSO my favorite alien of all and that episode was beautiful and fantastic... And I should stop now because this isn't really the least BIT helpful to my review-writing...
Anyway, I love the utter lack of dialogue in this... I think it worked really well. You mentioned it's only 501 words long and how is it that you managed to sort of scare me, spark my curiosity and set of pangs of longing and tenderness in my heart when I remember meetings and feelings like the one I imagine Draco was feeling.
I adore this one shot. Sometimes it's true that you don't need a lot of words, you definitely proved that.
I would definitely be interested in reading more in this style although I think you write really well and I really want to read more of what you DO write; definitely need to find the time for that. Thanks.

---Carla

Author's Response: Doctor Who and Ood is going to be your best bet to get me to read a story, for sure! And OMG any episode with the Ood is just so fantastic!

Thank you so much for this wonderful review! I've never tried something like this since, and my usual writing style is incredibly different - lots of dialogue and long-winded sentences. If you do read some of my other stuff, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it - especially if you're willing to critique! I have a long, long way to go :)


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Review #11, by magnifique11 Bitter...

9th December 2013:
I haven't really seen anything written in this way on HPFF before but I really enjoyed it! I think this was a great challenge to set for yourself, I know personally I would find it difficult too lol. But you pulled it off beautifully and I think the sort of raw/choppy way of writing this was really good for the story you were trying to tell. I also really liked how you didn't use names because I think that makes the characters so much more relatable, as weird as that is haha. Overall I just really liked this one-shot and I think it was very well written. :)

Author's Response: Ah! Thank you so much! This isn't like my usual style AT ALL, but it was fun writing something like this for a change! I could never do it for very long or on a regular basis, but it was definitely a great exercise!

I completely understand about the no names thing - I did that deliberately because I felt the same way. It felt like it could be almost anyone's story that way!

Thank you so much for this lovely review!


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Review #12, by toomanycurls Bitter...

15th October 2013:
Hola! Estoy aqui para darle consuelso de su historia. Escribiste una historia muy bonita y triste. Describiste los eventos de la vido de Malfoy con una tristesa fuerte.

um, I guess I'll squee in English now (your despedido made me go into Spanish mode).

This was quite beautifully written. You weaved together bits of story with narrative and wonderful descriptions that added a great deal of richness to this poetic story. The way you talk about his family is so tragic. Draco falling in love was quite well done. It showed how he got to the point of falling in love.

I like that this shows a lot of diversity in your writing style.

Author's Response: I had to Google Translate what you just wrote, but I am so sorry if it made you feel sad in a bad way! Although, I am kinda psyched that I made you switch to Spanish - that is one strong emotional response!

Thank you so much. It was quite the creative exercise for me, but I was not sure how it would turn out in the end - I am glad that it turned out well. If authors are allowed to have favourite bits, my fave was writing about his family. There is so much to say, so it was quite difficult to keep it succinct.

Thank you so much for this wonderful review!


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Review #13, by milominderbinder Bitter...

27th September 2013:
Hi! Maia here from review tag :)

So, I thought this was really amazing. I think the short length actually just made it more powerful. The English student in me could list about twelve thousand literary devices that made it so good, but the main thing I noticed was the repetition of the DW quote, which worked SO WELL. The short sectioning really drew me in, too, and made it fast paced and kept it moving, which is really good because you introduced quite a few ideas in such a short space of words, which could have been difficult to do without seeming cramped, but your writing style really worked here :)

So, apart from structure, I thought this was a gorgeous look at Draco's characterisation. I'll admit I don't read much about him, but I thought that you captured something about him so well here - his feelings on his family were gorgeous and poignant, and I loved the introductions of Astoria. The idea that Draco wouldn't go up to her somehow was really significant to me - that he's not the same person we saw in the books and films, he doesn't really have that confidence and arrogance anymore, which makes him kind of a better person but also broken from who he was before.

I really loved how you worked the quote in here, it was so inventive. I've done quote challenges before and I usually fail pretty miserably at them, because I can never get the quote in in a natural sounding way, but this worked so well, with the parts in italics and the repetition/motif of the quote. Also, well done on the personal challenges you set yourself - like not using speech! Or apostrophes! There's no way I'd be able to do that :P

I'm really glad I chose to read this story for review tag, I thought it was beautifully written and very uniquely styled

Author's Response: Hello! So nice of you to drop in!

The former English language student in me couldn't resist all the literary devices. I've never written a piece as short as this, nor with deliberate intent to include all these literary devices. I was really lucky that this story flowed onto the screen with such ease, otherwise I can imagine this one giving me quite the headache if things didn't go all hunky dory!

I don't read much about him either, but he is one of my favourite characters, and this quote really seemed to fit him, as well as what I wanted the quote to convey. And yes! Draco and Astoria's romance is quite deliberate in the way it unfolds. You're right in saying that he's a changed man, possibly for the better.

This was my first attempt at a quote challenge, so your praise means a whole lot to me!

Thank you so much for this lovely review! It really made my day.


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Review #14, by BLONDEbehaviour Bitter...

12th September 2013:
Hi :)

First of all congrats on your extremely fast request time! :)

Now, onto actual reviewing, hehe...

Nope, I do not think it was too short! You have created a very effective one-shot here, I like how it is all about inner monologue and what he see's instead of him saying anything, it gives an insight into Draco's mind and what was going on to him while all these events occurred. And it gives us an insight of him post-Hogwarts, and meeting Astoria! I liked that alot

I think it flowed particularly well. The italic quotes helped to integrate each new section, without making it feel jumped or forced, so you worked that in really good!

I personally do not think that lack of description was a bad thing. In cases such as this story it does not play a vital role, and an be disregarded somewhat. I think you placed just enough in to be effective without it being overwhelming and out of woe with the plotline.

There's not much else I could say without it being gushing! I really like the idea of this, it shows a great insight to Draco that is effective! Well done!

Good luck with your challenge :)

Grace :)

Author's Response: I do try! ;)

This review is wonderful! I was worried about writing something like this because I've never written anything like it before. I've always wanted to write Draco, but my usual style isn't very appropriate for the story I wanted to write for him.

I'm glad my greatest foe, description, has not dragged me down in this case! Yay!

Thank you so much for this wonderful review!


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Review #15, by randomwriter Bitter...

9th September 2013:
Hi there :) REVIEW TAG!
I'm glad I chose to read this one.

I loved this entire piece but a few things really stood out. One of them was your innovative use of the quote. I would usually associate the end of a song with the end of something beautiful... maybe something like a life, or a relationship. But you used the quote to signify the end of a dark phase of his life. And I really thought that was creative use of the quote. I also love the note on which you ended. Simply put, it lasts.

Another thing I liked is how you've written this whole story in a rather poetic manner, clearly signifying periods of his life through his eyes and his emotions. I like how it has this rhythmic feel to it.

There a few lines that I really loved:
"He had seen his father slip into the deep, dark chasm of his battered soul.
He had seen his aunt joyously succumb to the madness within.
He had seen his mother fade into the greyness, becoming lost in her anguish and fear."

I think that these lines sum it all up really well! Good job :)
The only thing I would recommend is a tiny bit more description. In a story like this, it could do wonders and make it more beautiful han it already is! :)

Overall, a great read! :)

Author's Response: Hello! I wasn't expecting a review on this story, because it is a little old, so this was a nice surprise!

Aww! Thanks! I really wanted to play with the idea that the end of something doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing - it can open the door for better things to come your way. I'm glad that came through.

Oh, I love how people love that it has a poetic feel about it. I definitely never wrote it that way, at least consciously, because if you ever see my poetry, you will understand why I don't write it. Thank you, though!

That is personally my favourite paragraph, because I got the chance to be very stylistic about the way I described these characters, rather than more realistic, which is something I do in other stories. I'm happy you liked it, too!

Ah. Description. How thee annoys me! Thanks for the suggestion! I'll keep that in mind if I ever write something like this again.


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Review #16, by Violet Gryfindor Bitter...

3rd September 2013:
Here from the review tag! ^_^

This story caught my eye because the structure was different from what I've been before, even for 500 word stories. It not only looks, but sounds like a poem - it reads like a song with its repetitions and regular rhythm, which perfectly parallels the story's title. The plot twist was also brilliantly done, turning the Doctor Who quote on its head - Draco's song was not his life, but rather his life alone, his life in the shadow of Voldemort. You took a creative interpretation of the quote, which is just what one wants to see from a quote challenge - you emphasize that when one song ends, another begins

It was after this shift that your story also took on new life, I think because the first portion contained information that readers already know - the usual elements of Draco's story as Death Eater. It was still well-written, but it was when you moved into Draco's post-war existence that the story became exciting and refreshing (there are so many angsty Draco stories). The part when you describe the Malfoys' new life is excellent - I love the repetition there and the idea that the Malfoys gain as much freedom as Voldemort's old enemies. Draco is able to turn his life around, yet I also loved the detail that he hated sweet - there's still that Malfoyness to him. He may be a respectable person, but he hasn't lost that edge. It looks like a small detail, but it's an important aspect of his characterization, one that really made this story for me. The way that you have Draco draw an association between himself - the bitter wizard - and Astoria's bitter coffee was fantastic!

There was one typo I noticed - dinghy instead of dingy - but other than that, this was a great story to read, and I'm glad I got the chance to do so. I really liked the creativity of the structure, as well as your portrayal of Draco and his happy ending. Well done!

Author's Response: Hello! *waves*

OMG! I really admire your writing, so this means so much to me, like you have no idea!

When I was writing this, I definitely didn't consciously make it poetic, but I'm happy that it's been so well-received because of this happy accident! Although, there are quite a few song-like elements throughout.

For me, that's what the quote represented, so I'm happy that came through. I really wanted to give Draco a happy ending, because it would be interesting to see what he'd make of it.

I'm grinning ear to ear right now! Thank you so much for this! It's completely made my day! XD


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Review #17, by ATLpaintingflowers Bitter...

16th August 2013:
Hey there, so this story does not really have that many reviews, and I really don't understand why, seeing as it's really obscure, but really beautiful and detailed at the same time. I loved this because it was angsty and cutesy at the same time, and I hold a strong love for angst. I think you should make this into a multi-chapter short story, that would really be amazing. Anyways this was awesome, and I really loved it. And it would be really awesome to see this as a multi-chapter *hint hint*. 10/10

Author's Response: I couldn't write a pure angsty piece! I tried, but that ending just burst out of me, screaming to be written. I don't know how to make this a multi-chapter! Where would I take it? We already know that they end up together! Perhaps a companion piece, or something...

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Review #18, by Courtney Dark Bitter...

25th July 2013:
Tag!

Wow, I have never read anything written like this before - it was like a breath of fresh air and I really enjoyed it! It was very...poetic, I think the word I am looking for is. And I really have no idea what else to say except that I loved it and that I love your writing style - both in this and the other things of yours that I have read (by the way - are you planning on updating Not Normal soon-ish? I'm really looking forward to the next chapter!)

Anyway, this was definitely a very original idea and I love Draco and Astoria. It definitely makes sense that those horrible things would be in Draco's mind for quite a while afterwards.

Courtney:)

Author's Response: *squeals* YOU'RE BACK COURTNEY HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU!

Fangirling moment aside, I should a put a disclaimer somewhere that the poetic nature of the story was a happy accident that I didn't even notice until people pointed it out to me. Thanks, though! If you ever read my legitimate attempts at poetry (which you won't because they're horrible and I don't like writing them) you will understand why this was such a happy accident.

And I am planning to update Not Normal in the next few days, actually. I finally wrote down a plot outline and revised the two posted chapters to get back into the groove of things. So keep your eyes peeled!

Thanks so much for the wonderful review, as always!


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Review #19, by ginerva_molly_weasley Bitter...

6th July 2013:
Hello there,

Tagging you from review tag!

This is such a wonderful, cute little story. I do like stories of Draco and I especially like little bits about the remorse Draco felt as I don't believe he was all bad and I do see that coming through here when you say of how he dreams about that every night.

The short sentences really work here and whilst it could be construed as a poem, I love the fact that it is a story as it really seems to work in this way. Also the whole idea of his song ending I wondered originally was this because she was going to kill him but then the final sentence about Draco and Astoria is wonderfully cute . I also like the comparisons you make about how different they are and also ponders on how they will work as a couple.

The sentence 'She healed his soul' is so heart wrenching and adorable. I am almost squeeing there!!!

Well done on this!

GinevraMollyPotter

Author's Response: Hello, there!

She was going to kill him? Wow! I hadn't even thought of that! That's such a cool idea! Now I wish she kinda did... but then all the fluff would disappear in a second, and that would be a little sad.

Thank you so much for your lovely words! I really appreciate it!


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Review #20, by CambAngst Bitter...

26th June 2013:
Review Tagging you back!

Alright, some Draco/Astoria wub! I am so deep in that mindset right now. This couldn't have come at a better time.

I really loved the progression you took Draco through in this story. Beginning with the arrogance and self-importance he feels after receiving his mark and his orders from Voldemort, proceeding through the awful experience at the top of the Astronomy Tower and then descending into the horrors of the Second Wizarding War. You did a great job of capturing the essence of a young man who was forced to grow up fast under terrible circumstances.

I really liked the way you described Lucius, Bella and Narcissa. Again, I thought your characterization of the three of them was perfect in light of what we know about the three of them by the time we see them in Deathly Hallows. Snape was another interesting addition. Even though we know better, I think that what you described was exactly what Draco would have seen.

And then it was all over, and he seems rather adrift. I don't think he's feeling survivor's guilt, but he's definitely suffering from survivor's something. He's not sure whether he'll ever be whole again after the things that he's seen and done. It was a fantastic characterization of someone who's been through something so traumatic.

And lastly, we see Astoria. I like the way that you idealized her in his eyes. I'm sure she has flaws like any other person, but Draco doesn't see that. He sees her at first as an unattainable goal. An image of the type of perfection that he's too tarnished to approach, too tarnished to deserve. So in the end, she comes to him. And she helps him find his way. She changes his song. That was a beautiful sentiment.

Just so this doesn't come off like one long, gushy love-fest, I saw what I think was a typo that I'll point out:

She liked her coffee bitter, always choosing the strongest blend. - Based on the sentences that follow, I think you meant to say, "He liked his coffee..."

This story really got my day off to a great start! I almost forgot to mention that I really liked the way you made it look on the page. Normally, I'm not such a huge fan of stories where every sentence is set out in its own line, but I think it worked brilliantly for this. Honestly, I don't know a thing about Dr. Who, but I don't think that matters. I really love what you did with the quote for this story. Great job!

Author's Response: Hello! *waves*

*gushes* Aww! I'm so happy right now! This has made my night (timezones are weird, am I right?)!

I think you're on the mark about Draco's characterisation in this. Concerning Snape in particular, you're right in saying that this is exactly what Draco would've perceived, because he just never saw the other side of it.

And it's definitely survivor's something! He doesn't regret the surviving part, but it's almost like... he knows he survived in body, but he's mourning the loss of his spirit.

You're spot on with Astoria as well. She is the embodiment of perfection for him. She's everything he'll never have because of what he's lost. And Astoria is like an angel of sorts. Let's hope that as their relationship progresses, things become a little more normal and less surreal for these two!

I don't mind long gushy love fests! And I haven't decided yet if that was a typo or not. It can be read either way, I guess, which is kinda cool, at least to me!

Thanks again for such a wonderful review! :DDD


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Review #21, by Jchrissy Bitter...

17th June 2013:
Hi there! Tag!

I was planning on reading the second chapter of the story I started, but it'd been too long since i read the first so now I want to wait until I have time to reread the first THEN read the second.

Anyway, I'm really glad I chose this one. You know when you take a bit of something that's just right? That's how I felt about this. It was so short, so blurry, but so well done both aspects enhanced it.

I honestly didn't even notice that you'd used no dialogue or apostrophes until the end, which I think shows just how smoothly you were able to pull it off. If i would have noticed, that means I would have been jarred by it. And obviously that wasn't the case.

Draco seems so pensive in this, so stuck in his own thoughts, and I really enjoyed that. I loved being stuck inside such a messed up head, and especially with the fact that he didn't seem all too comfortable with the thoughts. If that makes any sense.

And I LOVE when people use italics to make a sentence stand out that deserves to stand out. Really, you use of them was perfect in this.

I'm surprised at how much i really loved his short piece. Usually I like longer, more involved, but this was just really great. And congratulations on pushing yourself past comfort zones!!

Author's Response: :D I don't really mind what you review! Your reviews are always really wonderful to read, so they make my day no matter what!

Gah! I'm blushing like crazy right now! I wasn't sure how this piece would turn out - I've never written something like this before, so I was super nervous about it.

Not noticing weird idiosyncrasies is a good thing, right? It's very flattering that you were so involved in the story!

I adored being in Draco's headspace for this. He seemed like the type of person who would spend a lot of time dwelling over things in his mind after his experiences as a death eater. And surprisingly, most of the words came very easily! It appears I'm a bit of a Draco at heart!

Thanks once again for the lovely review!


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Review #22, by Illuminate Bitter...

9th June 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

I love this, I really do. This story is written really poetically, like a song. You keep the same rhythm and atmosphere through it all, and through such few words convey a heck of a lot.

You manage to hold together Draco's character, and describe the events of the last few books aswell as his life afterwards with such conviction and romance.

It's just so easy to follow, and it flows perfectly. I really want to know what happens with their relationship xD

Great job!

Author's Response: Hello!

The poetry aspect was completely accidental - although the rhythm wasn't, and apparently that's a thing in poems. As a general rule, I can't really write poems, so I'm super pleased to hear that you thought it had some poetic elements and you enjoyed them!

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WITH THEIR RELATIONSHIP, TOO! Except, I'm a bit of a fluff writer, and I guess where their relationship is headed, just isn't fluff territory. But perhaps, one day I shall work up the courage to write more of their story!

Thanks for the awesome review!


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Review #23, by LilyEPotter Bitter...

30th May 2013:
Hi! Here from the review tag!

You should try another piece like this. With the least number of words, you caught my curiosity of who was "talking". I liked that it switched directions from despair into hope.

Great story!

Author's Response: Hello, there!

Gah! Thank you so much! I might try something like this again. It was a lot of fun to write!


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Review #24, by marauder5 Bitter...

28th May 2013:
Review tag!

This was so great! The simplicity of it made it all the more touching. Descriptions are great in all their honour, but it's pieces like this one that really hit home. This was my favourite part: "He had seen.

He had watched.

He had beared witness.

He had committed."

It gave me chills! It was so perfectly written! It doesn't have to be more complex than that to say what you really want to say.

I also imagine Astoria healing him in a way, so that was great! The ending was absolutely perfect, as well. All in all, this was beautiful and poetic (and really impressive. I'm sure I wouldn't be able to write something so perfect in so few words! You should be proud of yourself for succeeding!)

Should you try something like this again! Yes, of course! It takes quite some talent to be able to pull it off. I also think you've managed to weave the quote into the story extremely well. Sometimes, it can feel a bit forced, but that certainly wasn't the case here. I can tell that you let the quote inspire you instead of just trying to make it fit into the story.

And to answer your final question, yes it was so amazing that you should adopt this new writing style! Haha! I would definitely be interested in reading something similar written by you! Good job!! :)

Author's Response: Aww! Thank you so much! The quote really was inspirational, and as an avid watcher of the show, and #1 Ood fan, I think this is what the quote really is about: endings and beginnings.

In my head, Astoria was a bit of a healing salve to Draco's wounds, so I thought it fit in well with the piece. And that line is one of my faves too!

I get the poetry thing a lot. It was completely unintentional except for the rhythm, but any other poetic feels was just a happy coincedence!

I'm glad that you didn't think the quote was forced. I know what you mean by that, and I was a little scared of that happening, so it's nice to hear that it didn't!

I dunno if I'll ever write something like this again. It was a pretty intense piece to write, and I don't know where I could get inspiration for a story that fits this kind of style! But thanks so much for the encouragement! It was really appreciated! :D


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Review #25, by marauderfan Bitter...

26th May 2013:
Review tag!

This piece is great. I was drawn in because I love Doctor Who, and I'm not sure what I was expecting when I clicked on it, but it wasn't this. I've never read a story quite like this; it's unique. I like how each line is one thought, one sentence. It's a lot like poetry. I think it really showcases Malfoy's fragmented mind and thoughts as he deals with the repercussions of his actions in the war.

I think the vagueness of some of the lines makes it so much stronger, too - "he had seen. He had watched. He had beared witness. He had committed" like, it doesn't say anything, but it says everything. (If that makes sense.)

Also, congratulations on only using 501 words! You fit so much emotion and reflection into such a short number of words.

Lastly, I love the Ood as well. How cool are they?! :D

Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome fellow Whovian and lover of the Ood. They are actually the best aliens around, I adore them so much!

I get a lot of people being pleasantly surprised by this piece, and I always feel very flattered. This was very experimental for me, so it's really nice hearing all of this positive feedback about it! And I find it so funny when people find it poetic - if anyone ever reads my legitimate attempts at poetry, they may cry, because it is that bad! Again, I'm really flattered that you got a poetic sense from it. It was completely unintentional, except for the rhythm.

Thanks again for this wonderful review! And the Ood 5eva!


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