Wowza's. Think you can update, like, ASAP, because I really like the storyline so far and really want to find out what happens next? And I love James. Head boy? Don't think that has ever occurred in any of the Next Generations I've read so far. Albus, yes, but James? I like it. And Haunted? I recognised the lyrics and freaked because I couldn't remember the song, as it's something that I hold very close to me. Lyrics. But yeah, I love that song- soul speaking stuff. And I love Lana; I can just feel the sob story. In a good way. So update! Report Review
Okay, your story is good. I caught some errors but that could be from the staff prank. Dont switch pov every paragraph. Maybe every other chapter? And since this story takes place in7th year, have everyone mature a bit.
If you likeed my story, check out JenelleNicole97. Shes a good friend. Youd like her storyAuthor's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for reviewing! And yeah definitely, the POV thing was weird, I'll probably change it up next chapter. Btdubbs, I checked out JenelleNicole97's story, and you were right- I loved it! Haha thanks again for reviewing.
xox miluv Report Review
Okay.. Here we go.
I really love the banner for this story, it was partial reason I clicked on it. I loved the sunglasses on her.
Second reason was that I had no idea what it was about, since the quote doesn't reveal much, which is a good and bad thing. It's a good thing because some people are into that. I am exhibit a. It's a bad thing because some people aren't into that.
I think that some parts were a bit eh, like Lily's POV. But overall, I'm excited to see what happens next. I think that Lana is a very strong character.
But I'm still not exactly sure what the story is about, to be honest. I hope you get more into that next chapter.
I'm a huge fan of angst (IE self-harm, anorexia, bulimia), so I'm also excited to see where that takes the story. Lana just seems so unlike most cutters, so I like that.
Different is good.
Anyway, I just love that banner!
-JessicaAuthor's Response: Hey there!
I know, the banner's AHMAZING, that's all decoded. @tda. I literally owe her my first child for that lol. I'll be sure to pass ur compliment on:)
I know that the quote doesn't reveal too much, but I was going for mystery with that, so it looks like it worked out.
And yes i know, Lily's was a total flop, but it was necessary for plot development:( I had so much trouble with it that I just wrote down whatever, it was so frustrating.
And don't worry, more will come soon! This first chappie was kind of just an introduction, and then I'll get more into things.
Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for this review! It made me smile so much:D
Woohoo, first review! :P
I wanted to say that I really like your characters. Especially how you wrote Mickey G. Hihi. At first the POV swap was a bit confusing, but I got over that pretty soon.
I think Your main character is really strong and believable. It's a very good thing that she knows her weaknesses. I do have some question about Lana concerning her origins, blood-status etc.
It is altogether written pretty well, but just a bit too... American. James Potter II would in my eyes never say Oh My Gosh. More like Oh My Merlin or something. And I would not use too much "like" if I were you. But if you were really trying to give this story an American twist, then go ahead. :) Also, wizards and witches usually don't know about muggle bands like One Direction, so either Lana is a half-blood or muggle-born or future witches and wizards are just so cool that they like muggle bands as well.
Your grammar is perfect. I think. :P
I liked the last part of this story as well, with Lana on the balcony, but again, you wrote her a bit too American-y in my opinion. ;)
My favourite quote of this chapter was: "After all, life isnít about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain." How did you come up with this? It's brilliant! :D
Alright, I'll stop talking and leave you for now. :)
Hope to be able to review the next chapter!
-Xxx- sweet_lovely_girlAuthor's Response:
MY FIRST REVIEW! AH! This is amazing, thank you so much for taking the time to review you're incredible! I screamed for legit 5 minutes straight when I saw this lol
Okay, so for the POV thing, how would I get it to be less confusing? I wasn't sure how to go about that while I was writing so any help you can give would be much appreciated :D
And, Lana's history, well... all questions will be answered in our later chapters, I didn't want to give too much away at once haha :P
I'm going to change James's Oh My Gosh to Oh My Merlin right after this, I totally didn't catch that lol
And then, I like to think of Lana as a cultured person so she knows both wizard and muggle music, regardless of whether she's muggleborn or a half blood or whatnot.
Do you have any advice on how I can make it less Americano? I'm american myself, so anything would be awesome haha
And the dancing in the rain ish is something my nani (grandma) says to me all the time. She's all about living in the moment and this is one her favorite sayings ever, so here it is!
Thanks so much for reviewing, your username describes you PERFECTLY, Miss sweet_lovely_girl!
You're my favorite person on planet earth, love you SO much,
xox, miluv Report Review
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