Dramione, eh? This'll be the first I've read~!
I loved it! The emotion it brought up was so intense. It felt like I was there with them. (Though given the nature of the scene, I'm not sure if that's a good thing. :p)
I noticed a few typos here and there, and while most of them were fine, a few disrupted the flow of it. Very minor things such as missed punctuation, that would make me do a double take. I'd suggest a beta reader?
It also seemed a tad rushed. Such as Ron was just like "Okay. Let's have sex now." and Hemione was like "Your fiance--oh. Okay." Then Ron just left.
The start was fantastic. Every feeling was portrayed so well, and Hermione's feelings towards Lav Lav were just so canon.
It was absolutely wonderful. It totally deserves twice the recognition it's getting now.
(So sorry this took so long. I blame the little blinkie light in Skype. It was begging me to reply.)
Liz Report Review
I remember you telling me about this story! And now that you've slipped so quickly into the review tag, I get the time to leave you a review for it. How long's it been since I've visited your page? I feel like it's been eons!
Ugh. You know my feelings on the whole Ron/Hermione matter, but Ron should totally be marrying Hermione and not Lavender! I feel so badly for her, too, because it's clear that she always loved Ron, and maybe he loved her too, once upon a time. I'm kind of under the impression that he grew tired of waiting for Hermione to make the move and was too proud or confused or whatever to do it himself, and Lavender was there and willing and he went with the easy option. It would be a Ron thing to do.
But that makes it no easier to read how heartbroken Hermione is here. :( I really do feel for her, and at this point it almost looks like she's got no other options left to her, you know? Which isn't true! Being "the brightest witch of her age" takes its toll; I bet there's all sorts of pressures and expectations that go along with that title.
I like that this isn't going to be a conventional Dramione, though, and that Draco's actually going to be the one to save Hermione, because for the first time (for me) it's Hermione who's making the bad decisions. I guess Ron is, too, but he's not mean or abusive and I'm glad of that. It'll be interesting to see how you bring Draco into this story!
A very promising beginning, Erica! I'm pleased I got to read this for you. :) Hope to see you working on this again soon! Report Review
Wow, Ron. Wow, Hermione. Wow. Lol. I'm slightly speechless after this chapter but in a good way.
I think that Hermione is a little ooc but not really. She has shown before that she has deep feelings for Ron and she has gotten upset over Ron and Lavender's relationship before. I could see her getting upset over the engagement. I'm curious about what happened after the kiss from the battle and how Ron ended up with Lavender instead of Hermione.
Ron was ooc of character too but again not in a bad way. Ron has shown time and time again that he is selfish and has a hard time sticking it out. Example: He left during the search for the horcrux's because of selfish reasons. Or when he didn't believe that Harry put his name in goblet because Ron wanted to be in the cup. Just to name a few. I dislike Ron so I find it refreshing that you didn't characterize him as the sweet can-do-no-wrong type.
You have a great introductory chapter here. I'm intrigued to what Hermione is going to do next. I'm super mad at Ron and for how he treated her. I ready to see some revenge and I can't wait to see how Draco plays into all of this.
I hope you continue to write this story because I would really like to read more.
Megthechef43 aka MegAuthor's Response: I'm so glad that you think that they aren't too far out there for characterizations. I was very worried that they would be and that it would turn people off from the story so seeing this really makes my day. I'm glad the story interests you and that you are looking forward to reading more. I do have the second chapter over half finished already so hopefully sometime soon it will be up! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!
~Slytherinchica08~ Report Review
Wow. I can't wait to find out what happensAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! It really makes my day when I get a new review! I'm glad the story has caught your interest! The second chapter is already over half done!
~Slytherinchica08~ Report Review
Hi! Iím here with your requested review, and yay a Dramione I barely ever get any requests for these, and itís such a shame as everyone loves a bit of enemies falling in love!
Wow I think has to be one of the first Dramioneís Iíve come across where Hermione doesnít hate Ron. Itís such a refreshing change! I can understand that she would feel a little dislike towards him, given that he proposed to someone that wasnít her, but it wasnít her hating him, and it was just so nice to see that!
Hermioneís characterisation is great, and it seems really accurate, which again is hard to come across in Dramioneís and that annoys me greatly. She never was one to show her emotions, and you showed that by her not wanting to reveal to Ron exactly why she ran away. You can sense that Ron knows why, and she knows Ron knows, but sheís sticking by her pride, and not revealing why.
I rather like Ron in this chapter. He seemed rather caring to start with, and even if he did cheat on his fiancť and then use Hermione, he still seemed rather likeable. Donít make him out to be too evil, as there is always that inclination to do so, so Hermione and Draco being together seems more believable, but I think it would be more believable if Ron and Hermione were still friends.
You really felt for Hermione in this chapter. It was bad enough that the person she loved proposed to someone else, but then to be used by that person, and to be lead on into thinking that you stood a chance of having something together. I liked that you included the line about her being the brightest witch, as it kept her to the original Hermione, and it showed you that no matter how clever you are, you can still make mistakes, and thereís nothing you can do to prevent them from happening.
The only CC I have really is to perhaps provide more of a backstory to how Ron and Lavender got to be together, and what happened during and after the war, as itís such a key event, itís good to know what happened, as you can then place yourself. I can understand that this is the first chapter, so you wouldnít have much time to develop it; itís just something to bear in mind in the future.
Overall I thought this was a good start, as it was rather different from other Dramione stories Iíve read, and Hermione actually seems like herself, which is great, as we rarely get to see that. Iíll look forward to seeing how this continues.
P.S. I hope this doesn't mean that Life As We Know It, will be abandoned as I really like that story :DAuthor's Response: I promise you that Life As We Know It will never be abandoned! That story is my baby but I happened to get this new plot idea and I wanted to write it out and start posting it since I was so excited for it! I'm so glad that you liked this story and felt that both Ron and Hermione weren't ooc! The cc is great, and I will try to remember to add in some flashbacks of their old relationship together as the story is being told. Your review really made my day and honestly your support for my stories is pretty awesome and something that I am very thankful for! Thank you for taking the time to come by and read and review!
~Slytherinchica08~ Report Review
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