Hey there, stopping by with your requested review! Sorry for taking so long - real life has been a bit more complicated than expected recently, but I'm here now! :)
I still love Dominique's character, she really seems all throughout this to be going through the typical emotions someone would go through when learning this sort of news, with her own Dom twist on it, of course! I liked how you had her upset the idea of not being able to have kids, though she wasn't planning on having a family of seven, you know. It kind of brought it home that even though it's not something hugely important to her and she hadn't planned it all out already, it was something she just assumed would happen and it's just further evidence of how being a werewolf is affecting her life.
I liked her interaction with Teddy - the way he was trying to coax her back into life and to go out and see other people, and how when she resists he doesn't make her. It says a lot about their relationship and it's a nice thing to mention. I like how he's obviously worried about her, though I'd like perhaps a couple of mentions of his own werewolf heritage later on (now probably isn't really the time, all things considered) because of Remus, so of all people he's pretty likely to understand.
I liked how you had her mother and Victoire be the ones to be there with her when the Healer told her, rather than Teddy. It's something more for them to be able to understand and appreciate, perhaps, and I liked how Dom eventually broke down and allowed her family close, because that was almost too much and she needed them. I thought you characterised Fleur brilliantly with being so worried and upset, it really made sense, you know, and Victoire was lovely.
Just two things to mention: I would have liked a bit more description of Victoire and Fleur and what they do when they first come into her room. How close to her are they? Are they sitting down or standing up? It's a bit vague and makes it hard to visualise the scene and get a grip on things. Also, I'm not sure what your ideas on this are for your story, but we haven't seen much of Louis at all, and I'd have thought he and Bill and possibly Molly Weasley would have been round as well, or at least mentioned. I get that this is only a short story so you can't include everything, but maybe a mention to say other family members have been round would be nice? It would help us to understand passing of time, as well, if Louis visited on Wednesday and James and Lily on Thursday, or whatever ;)
I loved the news (I think I remember seeing a topic like this in Help Needed at some point, though I can't remember if that was you or not...). It makes so much sense to me that it would be so dangerous for her to have children, for both her and the child, and I like that you've incorporated that kind of detail and thought into this. It shows you're exploring every sort of avenue in this, which is great!
As usual, your style is lovely, your flow and pace are perfect, your characterisation is great, there were no grammar or spelling mistakes that I could see, your plot is going along wonderfully! So yeah, I'm still really enjoying this! Feel free to re-request! :)
Aph xx Report Review
Hi! Review Tag!
This is probably the best chapter yet! :D You really focus on her thoughts and feelings, and that horrible stasis of calm after a traumatic event where you just don't know what to do with yourself. I think you convey those feelings very well indeed, and we're really getting to grips with Dominique's character.
I don't like her boss! xD She seems like a slightly more professional version of Rita Skeeter. I hope Dom manages to sort out her job while coming to terms with what's happened to her.
Good cliffhanger! I hope her relationship with Teddy doesn't suffer, and that he will be there for her after this crisis.
Great job! Report Review
Again I must say I like how you describe the interaction within their family. They seem as close as all Weasley's were in the books. And it seems effortless.
And I can just see Fleur sitting there. Crying over the troubles of her daughter. Loving her children in a way that rivals Molly's love. I like that.
And Victoire telling Dom that there is a choice, when Dom sees none. That kind of almost naive hope a sister or really close friend can have for a person. Hope for a different future. I like it.
And I like the motherly idea that the bad news should come in moderation and not all at once.
And Dom trying to stay strong for her family. Accepting their good intentions, despite what she might or might not have wanted. It shows a strong character. One with flaws of her own but a good heart. A likeable character.
Even her resentment towards her sister's bright future does not take anything away form that.
But oh my poor Teddy. Again she pushes him away. It would be much easier for her own mental health to simply speak to the man haha. Then again, I probably wouldn't if I had been here. So it's realistic, but I just feel for him.
I love how he stood his ground this time, even if it was out of character for him. It might not have been what she wanted, but perhaps what she needed.
Oh and a nice reference to something that has changed over the years. Using portkeys as a quick way of communicating now.
I like the suspense you added this chapter. She is finally thinking of what happened. Not merely all that had followed it, but the actual moment where she was bitten.
And I wondered why anyone would want to harm another being like that. What was her boss going to gain from this? Surely there is the personal experience that she now has when writing about werewolves. But is that reason enough? She could have gotten another werewolf for that.
Is it her popularity? Did that threaten her boss? Again it seems that there would be easier ways of taking care of that. This is just cruel.
Now this is something I can (over)think about until the next chapter. I blame my love for detectives and other crime stories. I always look for something extra, a deeper hidden meaning behind things. On the one hand to humanize the perpetrator or simply to try and understand it. Pure cruelty exists, but I just can't understand it haha. Report Review
Near the beginning of the story, when Dominique says she's strong, Fleur replies "yes, you're my dear." "Yes, you are, my dear" would probably be clearer. Using "you're" makes it sound like she's saying she is her dear, rather than she is strong, if that makes sense.
Yikes, Teddy's anger is sort of jolting, but in a good way. It gives the impression of how out of character for him it is. I like the way you've written it. You can really feel the shock Dominique probably feels on hearing and seeing it. You write emotions very well.
Oh wow, there's a mystery here. I didn't realise that. I was a bit intrigued as to how come the werewolf bit her if they'd been using Wolfsbane, but I assumed you just wanted to show that the potion isn't infallible (he or she could have forgotten to take it or it could have been too weak or something) or that you just wanted to make it clear it wasn't the werewolf's fault - that he or she had done their best to avoid attacking somebody and it was just one of those things - or that you just wanted to address the whole canon thing of Wolfsbane. I didn't really expect it to be part of a mystery. Or if it was, I expected it to be a minor one, like the werewolf just not bothering to take Wolfsbane or something.
I like the fact that it's significant. It's better than just bringing it up and dropping it.
I'm now wondering if Delilah Jones could be involved. Her reaction to finding out an employee was bitten was kind of weird. At first she seemed really concerned, then she seemed almost dismissive (like referring to it as a hassle). She COULD definitely have been faking concern. I thought that if she was, it was just to get Dominique to write the article, but now I'm wondering if there's more to it.
The only motive I can think of for her though, is to get a really good article. But that seems a bit much. I mean, surely she could find a werewolf who'd be willing to writing about their experiences, though of course, they probably wouldn't be as good a writer as Dominique. Delilah implies she's the best journalist they have.
I don't think what she's found out CONFIRMS she was deliberately attacked, because just because it never happened before doesn't mean it COULDN'T, but it does seem a bit unlikely that people living nearby for years wouldn't have ever been attacked and yet somebody staying there for a few days would be. It definitely seems deliberate.
I think he deserves to be judged for his actions. Being young and poor is not justification for attacking somebody for money.
And hmm, I wonder if David Dale is correct about it being Delilah Jones or if it was somebody using her name. I was suspicious of her anyway, but it just seems a bit...easy...for her to be given the name like that. Anyway, I guess I'll find out sooner or later.
Really good story. Report Review
I really like the way you portray the emotion between Dominique and Teddy at the beginning of the story. Very emotive.
I'm with Teddy about Delilah Jones. There's something very odd and rather hard about her. But I agree it's not reason enough for Dominique to leave a job she loves.
I wonder what Fleur and Victoire will have to say to Dominique.
I'm not surprised she'll be unable to have children. I can't imagine an unborn child surviving the transformations. Wonder if the option of adoption exists in the wizarding world. Report Review
I like the way you have six years pass between the time Teddy and Victoire break up and the time he and Dominique get together. It makes a lot more sense than him moving directly from one to the other.
Just one tiny thing, and it's not even an error, but the "you are my sister's ex" sounds a little stilted. I think she'd be more likely to say "you're my sister's ex." And I think it might sound better if instead of using Victoire's name twice in quick succession, Teddy said "I'm sure SHE'S perfectly happy with Ian now." But those are absolutely tiny things and probably a matter of opinion really.
Oh and Dominique says "you know I don't have a problem you". I think you left out "with".
Love Victoire's reaction to finding out about Teddy and Dominique. And I like the fact they were never really serious. So many characters in the Potterverse seem to end up with the person they started dating in their late 'teens, whereas in real life, only a small minority of the people I know have done that. So it's good to see one couple in their late 'teens/early 20s who aren't a permanent thing. Gives a bit more variety to the types of relationships we see.
Hmm, Delilah Jones seems like a very interesting character. At first I thought she was a kind and caring boss (in fact, there are a couple of lines where she sounds like McGonagall in one of my stories), but then she starts railroading Dominique into writing about something she may well not be comfortable announcing to the world at large just yet. She comes across as a little manipulative. It'll be interesting to see more of her.
And referring to the attack as a "hassle" is insensitive at best. Report Review
OK, I'm back. *grins*
That's interesting - that the werewolf who attacked her had probably taken Wolfsbane. I assumed werewolves who lived outside society wouldn't, but then this is a generation later than canon, so Wolfsbane is likely to be more available at this point.
I really like the way you describe how she feels at the beginning of this chapter. It's very realistic and very descriptive. And you really capture the feeling of being unable to move.
I also like the way you address the issue of how Remus almost attacked Harry, Ron and Hermione. It sometimes gets glossed over and it's something that's bound to bother her here, even though it was a particular circumstance.
I wonder how come that werewolf did attack her if he had taken Wolfsbane.
I like the looks that pass between her family when they realise she doesn't know exactly what happened. Again, very realistic and well written.
On the whole, this is an excellent chapter. I can't find any flaws to point out at all. Report Review
You're characterization of Dom is good so far. I like this added bit of her fear of werewolves is that she fears she will become a monster even in the other days. It'll be interesting to see how this manifests itself in later chapters because that could be a very powerful force. I think the only thing you could look at with her is to be sure her emotions feel real and that she's not just thinking emotionally (angry, happy, sad, depressed) but is also acting that way as well and it would probably even show in her dialogue as well. It will make us connect with her even more.
The boss. I am suspicious of her. I was suspicious of her the minute she came onto the scene because her caring seemed fake. I don't know if you meant for it to feel that way but if you did great job. She seems like the only thing she wants Dom for is to capitalize on the condition and if Dom was to refuse and not want to be used and paraded around then things could easily turn out very badly between the two. I think the way you've written her adds a very interesting dynamic into the story and i'm excited to see where it goes. I don't like her though and Dom probably needs to watch out.
The flashback was interesting. It gave us a look into how the relationship began and showed that they suited each other well. It was good to show that this story won't have the awkward Dom-Teddy-Vic triangle in it. However, i felt like some of the dialogue in that bit seemed scripted. I thought it flowed with the story alright because something set off her memory of it i would just suggest trying to smooth it out. Maybe add more description with the talk so we get more of a feel for the moment? This has less to do with the flashback but i am interested to see the dynamic between Teddy and Dom. We've heard it talked about but it hasn't really been seen firsthand yet so i'm curious to know how they will seem when they are finally interacting together (even though the end gives you a hint that something bad is up!)
The pace is going fine at the moment I think. We see Dom just trying to get her bearings and understand herself. We see that she's trying to ingest what's happened and it's still haunting her. The biggest moment you had of that is when she is looking at her scars. The ending is also really interesting and leaves the reader begging to know why her boyfriend who's supposedly been really supportive through their relationship is so unhappy to see her!!
Thank you so much for requesting! I hope you found this review helpful! :) Report Review
Hello, here from Review Tag!
I like that Dominique is starting to take charge in her new existence, in terms of making the difficult choice to proceed with sterilization and in trying to figure out why she had been bitten in the first place. I can see some growth from her initial withdrawn reaction to the news of her infection. It was also very heartwarming to see her family and Teddy continue to stand by her side and help her. On the same note, I like that she doesn't rely on them to fight her battle; rather, she wants to figure out the truth behind her attack for herself.
There were a couple of things that I would take a second look at in this chapter. I have to confess that your initial author's note put a sour taste in my mouth. I don't have time to go back and re-read the initial chapter, and I don't know that I would have questioned your changes, but it felt like you were accusing readers like me of being lazy. I think a simple note about the change at the end of the chapter would have sufficed if you were concerned that a lot of readers would be confused in their reviews after finishing this chapter.
The other thing that threw me a little was the use of language in Teddy and Dominique's conversation. It seemed insensitive for him to call her "incredibly stupid" instead of something milder like "silly" when she was obviously already hurting, and it felt odd for her to use the term she did to refer to herself in her next line, replying to him. Sometimes it can help to re-read dialogue out loud and see if it really sounds natural or too forced.
It'll be interesting to see Dominique confront Delilah and figure out where to go from here. I'm hoping your next chapter will contain an interaction with the werewolf who bit her, because I think that would make for a very interesting conversation. All in all, I think things are progressing nicely and it's good to see you are taking your reviews seriously.
-Amanda Report Review
Hello again! :)
I so called it! I had a sneaking suspicion that it was Dominique's boss that made her get bitten because of all the popularity and such it would get for the Daily Prophet. She's a mean unfeeling little b! The cliffhanger of the letter only reinforces that characterization.
I see no typos, as you have already fixed those so good job on that! One thing I think you could do is use some more contractions, like "I'm" instead of I am, just to make their speech sound less formal and more casual, like it should be. This chapter flowed very well and I'm excited for the next chapter! :) xx
~MadiMalfoyAuthor's Response: Hey! Thanks again for reading and reviewing.
Haha indeed, it was Dom's boss. What a selfish creature! I am pleased you found her characterisation reinforced through the letter.
I am glad you didn't find any typos. I'll work on the contractions. I am not too good with dialogue so yeah. Thanks again =) Report Review
Hiya, Elphaba here! :)
First of all, I like the change that you made with her failed apparition in the first chapter. It adds a bit more to the puzzle of just who is behind the attack at the cabin.
I think that the sterilization procedure is a bit drastic, but I like that it is her choice and that her family and Teddy respect her decision. I also like the scene where Teddy loses his temper, though I think that him "yanking" her from her chair is too extreme. That combined with telling her she's "stupid" for worrying is not very good boyfriend behavior. I would soften both of these moments if he really is supposed to be marriage material.
There's one little issue with time that I thought I should point out: "Before the two could discuss the matter further, a tin can glowing bright blue suddenly appeared in the room ... Apparently, the chief thought the matter of much importance if he couldn't wait until a day or so when they'd receive the owl." She just sent her owl to the chief a few moments before getting the portkey, and yet he was concerned that it might take a day for the return trip; do you see the flaw in his logic? I'm not quite sure how to fix it, but I'm sure there could be a simple explanation for him sending a port key in response.
I like that the rules on making and sending portkeys have been loosened up, and I really like the letter than he sends her. :) I had my suspicions that Delilah was involved! Now I'm very curious to see what Dom and Teddy will do next. Will they confront her right away? Or take time to plot revenge?Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reading and reviewing.
I am glad you liked the failed apparition change.
The sterilisation is a bit drastic yeah but I felt it was needed. I am glad you like that it was her choice and the support she received. On second thought, you might be a right, it is a bit too extreme, so I'll edit and soften it =)
Oh thanks for pointing out that inconsistency. I had actually changed Dom's sending an owl to her sending a talking patronus, but I guess I posted the unchanged version. I'll definitely go back and fix it =)
I am pleased you liked the letter. Delilah was involved yes. What Teddy and Dom will do next will definitely show up in the next chapter. Report Review
Ah, such a sad scene. Waking up and having to deal not only with her own shock but also with her family's pity must have been a trying experience for Dom. I enjoyed that you went full out with the grief. Having Dom push Ted away made sense and seems to foreshadow that their relationship will face some hard trials in the future.
I also found it interesting that you depicted Fleur as a weak/vulnerable kind of mother, whose emotions are more important to her than the desire to comfort her child. I suppose this fits Fleur and already hints at a certain distance that the two characters must have (and at a complex mother-figure, which is always great). I can imagine that Fleur's approval of Dom might have been strongly based on Dom's social and professional success. Now that that's gone, reconnecting with her mother might be Dom's greatest challenge as she disscovers the less perfect, less socially acceptible, beastly side of herself ;)
I did notice an inconsistency in Dom's outburst about Harry and Remus, though. First, she sais "Have you ever heard Uncle Harry talk about the night they rescued Sirius Black?!"
but then you seem to backpeddal and have her say : "I wouldn’t have known any of it either if I hadn’t accidentally stumbled upon that memory in his pensive. It's your story, of course, but I actually liked the image of Harry getting in a dark mood as all of the memories of the war catch up with him some late afternoon. I can fully imagine that he would tell the stories to the kids or - even better - the kids would overhear the adults reminisce over glasses of wine late at night during a family gathering at the Burrow. You covering your tracks in her dialogue like that broke an otherwise pretty great flow of Dom realizing what happened to her and, justifiably, freaking out. I don't think your characters will loose sympathy points if you have them say mean things about eachother once in a while - that's what people do when they are in pain.
Glad I had the chance to come back to this story and hope I could offer you some helpful feedback!Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing.
It was a trying experience indeed and I am glad you could see it, and that you enjoyed the whole grief thing. Indeed, there might be a few hardships but they'll survive =)
Yeah, I never imagined that Fleur could be a very supportive mother, though of course her extreme distress could also be because of something else (remember there's still something Dom doesn't know about). Hmm well I am not too sure about the 'distance' between Fleur and Dom, you'll see for yourself how their relationship is in the coming chapters.
Oh thanks for pointing out that inconsistency. I totally didn't realise I did that! I'll definitely amend that part.
Thanks for your comments and advice! Report Review
OK, Teddy is just so sweet. I am really glad that your characters are still very much the same as they were the previous chapters. I'm not sure if had said that already in another review, but I really like your consistency.
And you take the time to tell this story. Her meeting with Delilah was the same day as this chapter. Another good thing!
I also love the relationship you've created for Teddy and Dom. They seem so close and connected, despite the fact that now they are having problems. He just keeps up his supportive act and she feels guilty for pushing him away...I like it!
And I feel like this is realistic for a good relationship, which you mentioned they had before the attack. It kinda makes me root for them to make it through this.
I'm also glad that Dominique is finally letting the emotions out in a more constructive manner than pushing people away. Grieving is necessary in order to move on from the attack. Anger will not help her.
I was so worried for her though, when Teddy told her a healer was coming with some bad news. And the bad news was in fact really bad! That would be enough to put many people in a depression. And she already had so much to deal with.
I never thought of this complication of being a werewolf, but it sounds quite realistic. As far as being a werewolf is realistic of course. Everything changes.
I am curious what decision she will have to make.
I like that Teddy calls her out on her behaviour in such a sweet way. But I had already said he was sweet, had I not haha. His behaviour is like textbook good right now. And while for some characters that would not work, with the son of Remus it does not really surprise me. Then again I love Remus! Is it crazy that he reminds me a little bit of Dean in Gilmore girls? Not sure if you ever watched that, but yeah.
It was a bit strange to read Aunt Fleur and uncle Bill, when he spoke of her parents. I know he has always been part of the family, but still, to me it was strange.
And a question about the process of getting the bad news to Dominique; in real life, isn't it so that once a person reaches adulthood, the doctor cannot speak of their medical situation to the family. In this case that would mean, that the healer would have to go to her first, instead of her parents. With all the privacy laws existing in human world, I imagine this would also be in the wizarding world. Now everyone seemed to know before her.
Another good chapter!Author's Response: Hey! Thanks again for reading and reviewing.
I am pleased that you liked Teddy, and that you're liking the consistency. I work hard on it so it means a lot =)
Yeah I am trying to not pace this too fast even though it's a short story, so glad you appreciate it.
I am happy you are liking Teddy/Dom, and that you find their relationship realistic. Yay for you rooting for them xD
Indeed, I always think there are certain stages that people go through when something sudden and unnerving happens - anger, grief, acceptance, 'action' etc. She'll get through it all eventually.
I am pleased you like her situation realistic and could feel for her. Thanks.
Haha Teddy is too sweet isn't he? Yep I always though that Remus' son would be quite calm and sweet and nice. Though in the end Teddy is only human so he may just lose his cool once in a while ;) I have never watched it but it sounds good!
Hmm I always felt that he'd have been close to them, like a part of the family, thus the 'aunt' and 'uncle'. Him calling them "Mr. Weasley" and "Mrs. Weasley" would have been weird for me. Oh I guess to each his own xP
Hmm I didn't quite think about the adulthood factor but I do think that in such 'special' cases of werewolf attacks and such, the healer would confide to the family first, and ask them to deliver the news. It's only immediate family after all. And well things may work differently in the wizarding world. That's just my opinion though.
Thank you! Report Review
Hi! Review Tag!
I think this was a great follow up to the opening chapter :) You seem to have good characterisations of Fleur, Bill and the others.
I like how you slowed it down and just showed her immediate reaction. It shows the shock of it all, how her life has now completely changed and she doesn't know how to deal with it. I'm looking forward to seeing how Teddy, Bill and the rest of her family help her through this.
If I could suggest anything I think it would be to maybe describe things a little more- her feelings emotionally and physically, and dialogue are all great, I'm talking more the environment they're in. It might add something to it :)
Overall, great job!Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing again.
I am pleased you liked the chapter and the characterisations.
Yeah, I wanted to explore her reaction so glad you liked it. Her family and Teddy will definitely be there for her =)
I'll look into exploring the environment aspect, thanks. Report Review
Well, I'll try...
I really liked the beginning part of this chapter when Dom was talking to her sister and mum, because it's really nice to show that they're still there for her no matter what has happened. Oh, I feel so sorry for her though! It must be a horrible thing to have to go through, but it was the decision I thought she would probably make. She just strikes me as that sort of person who wouldn't hold out hope for a miracle cure, which would probably have been unrealistic anyway.
"It's better if I go through the procedure and get my ability to conceive... removed" this was simply heart-breaking!
I'm actually really pleased that Teddy finally lost his temper with her, because he is human after all, and it might not have been believable if he had managed to stay calm all the way through. I love the fact that his hair colour changes to mirror his mood as well - it's a little detail, but one of those things that really helps to bring the characters to life.
Even though I'm glad he lost his temper with her, I'm even happier that Teddy and Dom made up. It really showed how strong their relationship is. The detective work they did was great as well, because there was enough build up to it and we found out different things gradually rather than everything all at once.
The letter! Oh my goodness, really, that was so good! I'm probably quite dense that I didn't expect it to be Delilah Jones, but I loved the way that he couldn't remember the name and then added it as a postscript at the end. (I'm also very glad that you didn't leave this on another cliff hanger! :P) My mouth is still hanging open from the revelation (not an attractive look, believe me!)
I'm really intrigued now about why her boss felt the need to do that. Of course, it could just be that she's an incredibly ruthless person and would do anything to get a story, including infecting one of her senior journalists with lycanthropy, but at the same time I get the impression that there's more to it than that... So curious!
This was definitely my favourite chapter so far and I'm adding this story to my favourites - I simply can't wait for another review tag just to find out when you've updated!
Sian :)Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks once again for another one of your super duper awesome reviews! I do love them so! Apologies for delay in responding!
*hugs* I am glad you got your coherent thoughts back xD
I am glad you liked the beginning part - I wanted to show some mother/daughters bonding and I am glad I succeeded! Indeed, it is horrible eh. Yes, Dominique is definitely not one for hoping for a miracle cure.
Aw, it was quite heart-breaking for me while writing it too. *shares cookies*
Haha indeed, Teddy is only human, he couldn't possibly have remained calm all the way through with Dom being so silly. He doesn't get angry often but when he does it's bad - though the temper goes as fast as it comes! I love little details like that so I am glad you enjoy them too.
Teddy and Dom have a strong relationship yeah. They cannot bear to think of being apart =) I am glad you liked the detective work and that you enjoyed the build up as well.
Haha I loved writing the letter, am quite proud of it xD No you're not dense at all, a couple of people didn't guess it! I intended to leave it as a cliffhanger but then I thought it'd be all the more exciting if I ended the chapter with her name (thus the post script). Haha I am flattered to get such a strong reaction from you, thanks!
There might be more to it, then there might not be ;) You'll find out soon enough!
I am glad this was your favourite chapter, thank you, and that you're adding it to your favourites! Yay! I'll update by June end!
P.S. I have replied to all your MTA questions. Thanks a ton for them! Report Review
Ok... Wow... I know I'm many months overdue on this request but I'm kinda glad I waited because this was intense! In a very good way, I was literally terrified for Dom at the end. I had that creppy feeling that something bad would happen to her.
This was definantly not boring, I was on the edge of my sitting, reading as fast as I could to see what happened to Dom. The description was amazing in this story, it wasn't overpowering and really added to the dark tone of this chapter and the suspense that was growing from the first word.
Characterization was great with Dom. I'm glad you made her a red head, most go for blonde but I find it hard to see a weasley without red head. Other than that I liked that she was happy with her life and scrolled throught the things going for her.
Until next time...
MegAuthor's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing, no worries about the wait haha. I am glad you were terrified for Dom as that was my aim.
Its good to know you didn't find this boring, and that you enjoyed the description. I am pleased that you found the dark tone and suspense well.
I am happy that you liked the characterisation, I do think she'd inherit the Weasley trait too! I am glad you liked it over all, thanks. Report Review
Oh my goodness, poor Dom! From the title of this story, I really need to learn to expect that nothing will go right for her, but I keep having hope that something will get better. You make her suffer so much!
The Teddy and Dominique interaction at the beginning of this chapter was so sweet. I'm glad that he's still there for her and that he's not going to go away easily, no matter what she does. I thought you really showed how much they love each other at the beginning and how well they know each other; they kind of match their actions to the other's needs. I love the fact that he wanted to try and prepare her for the bad news, and that he was the only one who could get her to listen and agree to talk to her family properly. His anger on her behalf when he found out about what her editor had asked her to do was very believable as well.
And then, after building up such a sweet interaction between the two of them, things have to get even worse for Dom! The contrast between the two works really well because it emphasises how awful the news really is. I feel so sorry for her - it must be completely heart-breaking to hear that she's capable of conceiving children, but she shouldn't because she would be a danger to them. Her own condition could kill her unborn child! That moment when the werewolf bit her has completely changed her life, and any hopes she might have had for the future. It really was a devastating thing to happen.
I thought that it was lovely that her mum and sister wanted to be there for her when she heard the news. You could tell that you'd gone to a lot of effort to research things about pregnancy because the details you included about that made it sound really convincing. I just feel so sorry for her!
One thing I love about this story is the way that you're exploring the physical effects and her emotional turmoil after the werewolf attack. Including both aspects makes this story so much more enjoyable to read.
I'm terrible at guessing what's going to happen next in a story, but I think the decision they want her to make is whether she should have a hysterectomy or not so that she isn't in danger of conceiving a child that she can't carry safely. Whether she'll do it or not, I don't know. If I were her I'd be finding out as much as possible about previous female werewolves and seeing if any of them have been able to have their own children. It's really interesting to see lycanthropy from a female perspective, because while Remus obviously suffered the stigma and pain of his condition, his life wasn't affected so entirely as Dom's seems to be. After all, he could still father children - I wonder if Dom would even be allowed to foster or adopt a child if people know about her condition, as they might think it puts the child at more risk.
I'm looking forward to getting the chance to come back and read the next chapter, but I want you to know that I'm really enjoying this story!
Sian :)Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing! Your reviews are always so massive and awesome, they make me so happy! Thank you. Sorry for the delay in responding though!
Ah yes I am an evil author, I make Dom suffer a lot, the poor thing. *evil laugh* xP
I am pleased you liked the Teddy/Dom interaction. They do love each other a lot and want the best for each other. Where Dom is impulsive and rash, Teddy is calm and controlled =) I am glad you liked the way things played out between them, and that Teddy's anger on Dom's behalf was believable.
Yeah, it is quite awful isn't it? *sigh* I felt quite sorry for her while writing it too, but in the end, I want to show all the bad things she has to go through and this is one of the important ones.
Of course, her mum and sister love her as much as Teddy does, maybe even more - they're family after all - so they have to be there for her. I did do a lot of research, haha. I am pleased it paid off and it was believable.
Ah I really wanted to delve into both the physical and emotional aspects when the plot bunny first hit me because I felt it would be incomplete and somewhat unrealistic if I explored only one. Glad you think the same way and enjoy it!
Indeed, that is the decision as you found out in the next chapter. It's called a 'magical fix' but yeah it is equivalent to hysterectomy xP I think, as I've emphasised in the story couple times before, Dom is more of an impulsive person so she may not do that much research before making her decision. She'll try to explore other options in the future though - if the story goes that far haha. I am happy that you find this whole female perspective interesting. Remus could obviously father children, and Dom can conceive too, it's just that her body may not be able to carry the baby through, or the wolf transformation every month would be too much for the child in the womb. The fostering and adoption thing is something I haven't looked into entirely yet because it's not really needed but it might be looked into in the future yeah.
I am glad you are enjoying the story. I sure am enjoying your reviews. Thanks a ton!
Hi! Review Tag!
This seems like a great opening chapter :) I like that it opens in the thick of action rather than a lull before anything happens :)
Your description is very good, you can easily imagine everything happening, and it feels like we're right there with her. You build the tension very well, especially when she's unable to Disapparate.
I also like that you only allude to her life, rather than describe it in detail so that it can be demonstrated later :) It also makes me want to meet all of the characters you mention, and know how they react to her being bitten.
Great job!Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing.
I am glad you liked this chapter and the action. I worked hard on my descriptions so it's good you could feel the tension and all.
I felt that putting in a lot about her life in the first chapter would be overwhelming so I am glad you liked how I did it. Thanks! Report Review
Oh. My. God. That is literally the only coherent thought in my brain right now. I'm amazed I've even managed to get this typed out. This reviewing is going to take a while because my brain is flipping out (not literally as that would be worrying but, anyway).
That was such a huge plot twist! I thought something must've been up because, I mean, why would you have anti-apparating charms on a cottage that was near werewolves that even though they took wolfsbane, something could still happen. I never dreamed that Dom's own boss (Delilah is her boss, though, right? I'm not going crazy?)
I actually did not expect it to be Delilah Jones. I'm assuming she did this so that she start the whole column with Dom about her own personal experiences about being a werewolf. I never expected her to be that greedy! Surely Ms Jones can be arrested for getting one of her employees purposefully attacked.
Moving on from what is one of the biggest plot twists that I've read in a while.
I really love how supportive Dom's family is. I don't know if I've mentioned this before but if I have I'm mentioning it again. You can really tell that she's close with her family and it's easy to see that her family really loves her. That's what a true family is, they love you no matter what!
I think Teddy is one of my favourite characters now. Before I really loved that he was so kind, caring and patient but now I also love that you showed he's not a pushover and that there are some things that he just won't put up with.
I think the pace of tour story is perfect, nothing is going too fast so the reader doesn't feel like they're "sprinting" through the chapter (if that makes any sense).
This is one of the most interesting stories that I've read on HPFF in a while and I'd reccommend this to just about anybody that I knew. I usually don't read stories like this or keep reading if I do come across stories like this because I just lose interest but the Worst is different.
Everything about this fanfiction is interesting. I personally think it's the way that you write and the way that you're portraying everything and the fact that this is a side of fanfiction that I've never seen before.
Anyway, this chapter was absolutely brilliant and I look forward to chapter 6!Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a ton for reading and reviewing.
Aww I am so flattered this story had such an impact on you, thanks! *blush*
Haha I am glad you found this to be a 'huge plot twist'. Indeed, something was sure to be up. Yep, Delilah is her boss!
Sure she can be arrested, but let's see how Dom deals with it. And there may be some other reasons apart from the obvious ;)
Biggest plot twists that you've read in a while? OMG you flatter me so much. Thank you.
Indeed, family loves you no matter what, and I am glad that you can see it here =)
Teddy is human after all so of course he's bound to lose his temper every now and then, though he is indeed absolutely awesome xP
I am pleased you like the pace and think it's not too fast as I was worried about that. And yep it makes sense!
OMG most interesting stories that you've read on HPFF? You're really, really flattering me now. Thank you so, so much. You have no idea how much this review means to me. THANK YOU!
I am so happy that you like my writing style and such, thanks a million! YOU ARE AWESOME!! (Yes I couldn't resist using caps lock)! thank you! Report Review
For some unexplained reason, I don't often venture into the werewolf corner of HP fanfic. Which is a pity, as I quite like werewolves, and I very much enjoyed the beginning of this story!
You set the scene very well in the beginning, with the mud and the lonely cottage in the middle of a stormy night. This is just a matter of taste, but, thinking back to what happens in the end, accentuating the presence of the full moon might have been interesting, don't you think? I can just imagine her nervously glancing up towards the piercing circle of light as she hurries along the path, slightly loosing her composition and slipping as the fear briefly takes over. don't take this as critique - it's more a suggestion, really. i just really like me some horror!
I find the premise very interesting. A journalist (with a bordering on traumatic family history concerning werewolves) going out into the field to study the creatures - open mind and all. Then she gets carried away and pays the price. You have me intrigued, that's for sure. I must admit though, I was hoping for some flashbacks to what she actually discovered during that week - what is the main line of her story? It would make for an interesting contrast to the terrying night if, in the back of her mind, she could be remembering how she was trying to understand these people only days ago, that they have feelings and names, make jokes and are just like her - but now she must run for her life, because the beast has taken over. So, to put it in review-terms, i found that this chapter, although gripping, relied a tad more on telling than on showing, or even on action, than it could have. But again, it's all a matter of preference :) Glad I clicked on this, cheers!Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing.
I quite like werewolves too, and surprisingly I haven't read a werewolf fanfic before. This plunny suddenly attacked me one day and I decided to write it =)
I am glad you liked the way I set the scene. I think accentuating the presence of the full moon would actually be a great idea, I'll surely do it when I edit, thanks! I love horror too xD
I am pleased you find the premise interesting. Indeed, the journalist in Dom did get carried away and now she's paying the price, though everything may not be as it seems just yet. More on her article, the flashbacks on the story she was covering etc., are in chapter six (when she finalises the article)! I like your idea of including that contrast of them having feelings and names and stuff, and then running from them, I may just include it, thanks!
Thank you for your comments, I'll surely take them into consideration. Report Review
Hi! So I'm finally here for your review, and I'm very sorry about the delay!
I'm really happy to see you updated this story, and I feel like it really needed this chapter to get the suspense and plot flowing. It was a great chapter, and probably my favourite so far. The family dynamics between all the characters are very sweet, and Dom is lucky to have such an amazing support system. I actually think Teddy blowing up at her a little was very justified, as it would be a little too good to be true if he was blindly supportive and patient. After all, he's going through a tough time as well, and Dominique is being distant.
I'm actually really glad you had her go through with the operation. The marks of a good story are how realistic and believable the story is, and I think it would have been unrealistic if Dom found a miracle cure or decided not to go through with it at the last minute. I think a big theme of your story is how she deals with the situation and moves on to live positively, and I think she knows that even if she can't biologically bear children, there are many other options to be happy.
The ending was a shock, I really didn't see that coming! I really like Delilah as a villain, she really fits the stereotype of the ruthless journalist with no morality, and I love it! It's like Dom is a victim of the need for worthy, exciting news in the media, and by becoming a werewolf she'll create a delicious story which so many readers crave. There's a really cool underlying message of how far the media and horror-culture goes.
It was nice to see Dom taking control of her situation in this chapter and pursuing leads on the attack. I also enjoyed the chief werewolf's letter, and felt like I got a good measure of his righteous yet arrogant personality! My only critique is that I thought the revelation of Delilah Jones came a bit too easily. Maybe it would make sense if Dale remembered the description of the woman, not necessarily her name? Then Dom could put two and two together, since the source already knowing her name seems a little too simple. Also, I don't think you need to addition of the "words" the source overheard: the insinuation of Delilah is strong enough without them. You might even consider eliminating the paragraph where Dale assumes that Young was paid to infect Dominique, and let her draw the conclusion herself. It's a very serious accusation to make, and I'd think the consequences for Young if Dale believed it to be true would be worse than simply being kept from doing it again. I hope these comments make sense, I'm only trying to be helpful and help make the story clearer! :)
I'm excited for the next chapter, it looks very exciting! :) Keep up the great work!Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing again, no worries about the delay, I am pretty late in responding too, after all!
I make it a point to update every month - usually by the last week of every month =) I am glad you found this believable and realistic. Yeah, I am trying to show that she'll move on to live positively despite everything, and yep as Teddy pointed out, there are other options.
I am pleased the ending caught you off-guard. Delilah is a complex but fun character to write and I am glad you love the whole concept of her being the 'villain'. Indeed, being a part of the media industry myself, I can say the media can be quite ruthless.
Yeah, Dom has to take her mind off the grief and for that she has sprung into action. I am glad you enjoyed the letter - the chief is one pompous and arrogant character yeah. Well, I wanted the revelation to be easy so I think I'll let it stay that way - thanks for the suggestion though. I agree about the 'words' being overheard as being unnecessary, I was contemplating putting them in the first place, but I think I'll remove that sentence now - thanks. Well, I'll look into the part about Young being paid, though I am not sure yet if I want to change it. Thanks for all your suggestions though, you're definitely helpful.
Thank you! Report Review
Hi! So glad you decided to request this chapter! :)
This had a really capturing start. The nightmare was scary (which is good) and everything else just felt so real. The whole time, I had this like tightness in my chest, which is how I know this was a really great chapter. I really enjoyed it. I felt really bad for Dominique the whole time. I really felt like I was right there with her.
Now, that being said, the only things I can think of to say that might need to be improved are that maybe you could read over the chapter to fix small mistakes. Nothing to major, but a couple of sentences were a little bit difficult to read and understand. Also, the dialogue doesn't really seem like dialogue. Especially the way Dominique was talking. I feel like none of them would have been quite that eloquent, considering the recent events. They all seemed like it was really easy to grasp what had happened, which is a little bit unbelievable. I feel like they should have not really been quite so understanding. I don't think understanding is the right word, but you know what I mean, I hope. Granted, they were perfectly scared and worried for Dominique, but they all already seemed like they had accepted the worst, especially Dominique. So, unless they're really well adjusted, I feel like that's not quite believable.
But other than that, I really felt everyone's pain this chapter, and I really enjoyed reading it, even if it hurt. :P
Thanks so much, and don't forget to request the next chapter! :)
~BellaFan202~Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing again.
I am glad you liked the nightmare, and everything else felt real. It's good to know you enjoyed it and could feel for Dominique.
I am not too good with dialogue so I'll try to go back and re-read and fix it, thanks. Well, the family had had time to deal with the situation and they were trying to be strong for Dominique - that was what I was trying to portray. Dominique is an impulsive person and she was quite dramatic and hysteric in this chapter, but I am sorry if it gave you the wrong idea that they had all accepted the worst already. I'll try to go back and edit what I can but I am not sure if there's much I can change as the chapter aligns with my plot for the most part. Thanks a ton for your comments though!
Thank you for your review. Report Review
Sweetinferno here to review!
The plot, so far, seems like a interesting and one I have never read before. Though I would have liked to have seen more of why she wanted to take on the werewolf story. To me it seemed nicely paced and easy to read. You kept a good line between action and word play especially when she is packing her stuff together to leave the hut.
Dom's personality was fairly executed, you made sure her personality showed through all the excitement and made sure everyone knew she was not perfect, one major thing it takes to make a character appear believable.
There was no major grammar problems that I could see which is superb!
The story kept my interest and it didn't seem jumpy or frozen, you kept me right along with Dom'.
Keep up the really good work!
SweetinfernoAuthor's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing.
I am glad you find the plot interesting! More on her article and stuff will be told in the future chapters. I am pleased you found it nicely paced and easy to read, and enjoyed the action with descriptions.
It's great to know that Dom's personality showed through, and it was believable. No grammar problems makes me so relieved. It kept your interest? Yay thanks!
Thank you! Report Review
I'm back! :)
I absolutely loved Teddy and Dominque's interaction! It is very obvious how much they love each other and how much they know about each other so that words aren't even needed to convey how they're feeling! That's true love right there. They are such a good couple in this story, it's fantastic!
The news breaks my heart! But you explained it in a way that is very realistic and makes a lot of sense. It actually sounds very real, so great job there. :) I think the decision Dominique will make is that she will still try to have a child of her own before she and Teddy turn to adoption or surrogate mothers, just because she's always had the mindset of loving children and wanting some of her own. I think that she'll really look into it and see what she can find before she firmly decides what to do about the news.
Great sentence structure, flow, and consistency. No grammar or spelling errors either! Wonderful job with this chapter! Feel free to request on other things too once I've caught up on this story. :) xx
~MadiMalfoyAuthor's Response: Hey! Thanks a ton for reading and reviewing again. Sorry for the delay in responding!
I am pleased you enjoyed the Teddy/Dom moment. It's true love all right =) They're my OTP so it makes me very happy that you find them a good couple!
Aww it broke my heart while writing too. I am glad you found it realistic as I put in some effort into research and all for it. Hmm nice speculation, you'll see the decision in the next chapter, that's all I'll say! Dominique is more of an impulsive person though but let's see =)
It's a relief that the structure, flow, and consistency as well as grammar is okay. Thanks again! Report Review
I cannot allow myself to fall pregnant. It's better if I go through the procedure and get my ability to conceive...removed
AD YOU ARE SO EVIL AGHLGLFOSAIKD
...sorry for screeching...poor Dom has been...what's the word? Sterilised? Argh. Sorry, late night reviewing again!
But this was such a great chapter! There's all the dramatic and angsty bits in the beginning, and Teddy's outburst was so violent (I think he was shaking her or "yanking her off her chair" or something) that it just caught me by surprise. But his anger dissipates really quickly as well, because the two of them return to being a lovey-dovey pair all over again, which is great :D I would think that his temper and his sudden shifts in mood mirror his hair colour changes rather than the other way round :P
I really like the two of them working together and discussing things in a less highly-strung manner. I enjoyed that scene heaps, where Dom recalls the strangeness of the event and the possibility that someone deliberately planned the whole thing out. Also, can I just say that I loved the chief werewolf's note arriving in a Portkey-thing? And the promise charm was brilliant (I'm not sure whether the concept was your own original idea or JKR's, but either way it was amazing). The chief certainly sounds like a pompous prat. "I was anticipating your queries so I am pleased you finally called upon my services." Indeed.
DELILAH JONES! I didn't suspect her, maybe I'm thick-witted or something. I'd pinned her down as a mean nasty unsympathetic boss, but not as a conniving, scheming, malicious, villainous figure, seeking to cause deliberate harm on others! :O
Anyway, great chapter, AD! I really enjoyed reading ♥ Even if it did get nerve-wracking in some parts!
tehAuthor's Response: Teh!! OMG thank you for your awesome review. It totally made my day (when I read it). Apologies for the long delay in responding!
Haha I am evil to my characters, sorry for that! =P
It's okay, I like reviews that screech as long as it's not in a bad way hehe. Yeah you could say sterilised. The poor thing.
I am glad you found this to be a good chapter with all its drama and angst. Teddy got a little violent yeah xP He seldom gets angry but when he does boy it's bad. But his temper goes as fast as it comes, now that's nice eh? I am pleased you liked that, and haha I love the hair changing details, it's just that the hair colour indicate the mood before he's fully realised it himself.
Its great that you liked how they worked and enjoyed that scene as it was quite a struggle for me to write - I wasn't quite sure how to go about placing all the speculations and such. Haha the werewolf is an arrogant chap alright and I loved writing his note too - we'll probably see more of him in the future. The promise charm was my original idea and I am pleased you liked it. Haha he's pompous yeah.
Haha you're not thick-witted. A couple of reviewers didn't suspect her (though some did). Well you never know, there may be more to her than meets the eye ;)
Thanks a ton for your lovely review. I am sorry it was nerve-wracking but glad you enjoyed it nonetheless. I do always love your reviews so I hope to see you around for the next chapter too when its updated =) Report Review
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