Ahh love the last bit :)Author's Response: Thank you Harrypotter24, I am trying my best :) the next chapter has been posted, it will be out soon I hope. Report Review
Gah! Write more! :D I love it so far, your a talented writer.Author's Response: Jagger, thank you. I'm glad you are enjoying this. I'm working on the next chapters, but been so busy with muggle life it has been hard to be otherwise productive. But if you keep reading I'll keep writing ;) Report Review
Sorry it has been so long since I reviewed. You have added a lot of chapters and I am finally caught up.
Some of your early chapters are a bit challenging to read since you did not include proper punctuation. However the last few chapters have seen great improvement in style and readability.
Your interpretation of Ginny is a bit harsh, while I personally agree she would have reacted to the circumstances I'm not sure she would have gone so 'bratty'. I like the talk you had Mrs Weasley give her last chapter and it would seem as if she may have had a change of heart within this chapter? I'm looking forward to where you are taking this thread.
Now Mrs Weasley was hanging in there very well --- until the 'Lunchtime issue'. I do agree with Molly, the three should have let her know they were going to be gone longer. However, she knew they went shopping that they could be gone a while. They are adults now and while I agree with Ron that they do not need to ask permission they should have respect and inform her of what they are doing so that she is not worried unnecessarily. I guess she just got herself all worked up and feeling scared. Sure hope Hermione isn't hurt too badly.
One sentence that I feel could be edited for clarification is the one that starts out 'After Tea;'. I do not feel that this is proper use of a semicolon. Plus you have 'tea hose' when I'm sure you mean 'tea house'. (Although I think having a tea hose sounds interesting. Yum, unlimited tea. :-)
I'm sure you have more drama and angst set for us and I am looking forward to your next chapter. Happy Writing!
-Lauraf68Author's Response: Laura, I am still laughing at the "tea hose" , somethings do get away form me LOL, if they don't get marked as mistakes I don't notice them.
I am interpreting things from a point of knowing how both teenagers and moms are :) I think they all would be in a state of shock because of all that happened, so I do know Molly would not take it well to the possibility of "losing" another son. And I don't think Ginny had enough time to mature, and is possibly just getting there now. I went through all this kinds of things in my personal life, war, losing people I loved and the fear of losing more of them, as well as being a brat after all quieted down:) and I am not a not mother, but I lived with one who was very much like the Molly J. K. portrays in the books, and I saw her day to day feelings and and pain taking hold of her best intentions and the things she knew were right.
Maybe I shouldn't put so much of what I know into this, but I can only write the things I know, so if I didn't I might not have anything to write about :)
Don't worry, Ginny is just going through a phase ;) she'll grow out of it as teens usually do.
Thanks for your review, I promise I'll be more careful about my "hose/house" problems LOL
And please keep reviewing, what you wrote in this one already gave me an idea on how to turn some things around :) Report Review
Hmm something is missing. I gave a 7 because the language used is rich and diverse, a pleasant read.
Naratively, though, there doesn't seem to be enough to make me want to keep reading on (I did, though!).
I think each chapter should have elements that drag the reader in, that make them curious about the characters and what they are living. I felt like this chapter was a bit lacking in that area.
There are good descriptions of the surroundings that help us create the scenes. For instance I can see Harry in his dorm, and everything in its place around him when he speaks with Kreacher.
Also I like that the characters are active during their dialogs. They don't just throw words at each other, they feel alive.
I don't want this review to sound harsher than it is: I DID enjoy reading it. Keep them coming!Author's Response: Thanks :) It's so great to know you enjoyed it. I am kind of new at this, I tend to write the story as it plays in my mind, if you get to chapter 3 you will see just that. There is a scene there that I wasn't planing the way it "happened", it just came to me as I was writing.
I have about 12 chapters ready now, and I will go back and review the ones that haven't been published yet taking your words in consideration.
I'd love to get more feedback from you whenever you have the time.
:D And again, thank you for reviewing and for your 7. :)
Lessa Report Review
Great chapter one you have here. Same ideas I've read before but packaged in a brand new way. I'm very interested to read more and see where your interpretation takes me. Happy Writing!! --Lauraf68Author's Response: Thanks. I have had this idea swimming in my mind for a long time, but had no time to "put it down on paper". Glad you enjoyed it. the second chapter will be up very soon. Please revue and don't sugar coat things. :) Report Review
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