Reading Reviews for Alone Together
  
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by hufflepuffpro444 Preparations and Young Love

2nd April 2013:
Boring? Not the slightest. Brilliant? Completely, honestly yes! Not just this chapter in particular, all of it is extremely well written and has really good imagery.

I especially liked when you described Evie "like twilight before his darkly distinct night" and "like the last vibrations of a symphony before the powerful stillness."

My only concern is that the beginning is still a bit unclear. My main question is did Evie go to Hogwarts before? This is what I find the most confusing. The reason I ask is in the beginning she seems to have little magical experience, but she later acts as if she has been a member of Hogwarts as long as the other students have.

If I am not reading carefully enough, please let me know. And if my question ties into the story later, by all means do not answer!

You should not doubt yourself as a writer, you have much talent.

Author's Response: Boy, thanks! I'll answer your questions in the next chapter. I certainly have been a bit unclear about her past, perhaps because as I wrote the beginning I was still figuring it out. I think writers are just as in the dark as readers some times, haha. You are so very encouraging. Thank you for commenting!

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Review #2, by Lululuna Birds of a Feather

25th March 2013:
I like this! Evie seems like an appealing character and the story drew me in right away- I wanted to know more about her family and her relationship living with Ollivander, who is portrayed very interestingly.

One thing i noticed is that the timeline is a little confusing as it jumps forward in time very abruptly. Perhaps putting a line break between scenes would make it a bit clearer?:)

Also, I quite like your descriptions, and I think it would be effective to frame the dialogue, particularly around the professors' conversation, with a little more description of the characters and the setting. Just a thought :) great work!!!

Author's Response: Brilliant ideas. I'll put in a break. Perhaps a little later I'll put in a few flash backs, or find a way to slip in Ollivander more. I like to let dialogue, for the most part, speak for itself, but I see what you mean about framing.

Thanks for the input! Awesome to have your ideas. Keep them coming!

-Swansong


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Review #3, by Elise A Momentous Possibility

21st March 2013:
This is amazing! I felt as immersed in the story as I do with the original Harry Potter books. Can't wait until the next chapter!

Author's Response: You have just made my month. I'm so glad you are enjoying it! I'll have a new chapter submitted on Monday, just for you! (It might take until Wednesday though for the site to get it validated.) Feel free to give me recommendations, if you ever have a inkling to. Thank you so much for reviewing.

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