Reading Reviews for Decreed
  
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Hansica Decreed

5th June 2013:
I really like this. It's one of the best one-shots I've ever read! Please make a sequel. You could do a whole story of just one-shots of Lucy and Raoul...just a tought. Keep us the incredible work!

Author's Response: thank you!! i was actually thinking about doing tht! im glad you liked the thought of the idea =)

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Review #2, by AlexFan Decreed

26th March 2013:
Alrighty, I'll just get right to the review then why don't I?

I noticed that you kept switching between third person and first person POV so you might want to watch out for that.

The majority of this review will most likely be about the eyes thing.

There were these descriptions about his eyes being regal and holding stuff and the only thing that I kept thinking every time that came up was "they're just eyes, they don't hold anything, they don't show any emotion. They're just eyes." You're not the only one who does it, lots of authors do but it really bugs me because it makes no sense. They're just eyes, they don't show emotion, sure it would make his face regal or his face could have an emotion but not the eyes.

Also, is Lucy wearing a long or short dress? Because when she starts snogging Raoul she hugs him with her legs (it's now I describe it okay!) and I had just assumed Lucy was wearing a long dress. Just wondering about that.

There were a couple of grammatical errors here and there but nothing too big but other than that, this was pretty good.

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Review #3, by missclaire17 Decreed

5th March 2013:
this would make a very interesting novella or novel (:
I have to say, I didn't expect the one-shot to turn out this way when I first read the summary. I thought it would be something fluffy and cute but it wasn't.
I liked its sensuality and how Raoul and Lucy have a complicated relationship. the fact that Raoul stated in front of everyone that Lucy was his girlfriend was rather interesting and I'd love to know more about why Lucy reacted the way she did to his announcement. Because Lucy did want what he did, but the fact that she was left feeling so weird about it is intriguing.

It would make a very nice novella or novel, if you ever reconsider lengthening this (:

Author's Response: Hey Claire!

Im glad you liked this! I was thinking of doing that myself you know! ;P I'll prob rant to you bout a plot and make you nit pick every little detail you like and don't like before I write it though so be prepared ahaha


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Review #4, by dreamer21 Decreed

3rd March 2013:
Omg, Raoul. *heart*
I always have a thing for such bad ass yet caring characters. This story was perfect. No alterations needed.
Em

Author's Response: im glad you liked it Em =) aww haha. thts really sweet!

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Review #5, by soapman333 Decreed

24th February 2013:
Hey, how's it going? I chose to read this one because I don't read much on Lucy Weasley, but this was intriguing.

They were canoodling behind the stage of an awards ceremony? Wow, I know I'm supposed to hate Raoul, but I'm really impressed.

The ending took me by surprise too, I liked it! Again, I know I'm not supposed to like the kid, but, Raoul's a boss! I can just feel your glares through my computer screen as you judge me.

The whole relationship is very intriguing. I know it's not healthy, or whatever, but it's still intriguing for me to read.

And I still can't get over the fact that they were canoodling back stage of an awards ceremony, in her dress, after she finished putting make-up on. Those are like three strikes against any normal guy!

Thanks for the fun read,
soapman333 (Jack)

Author's Response: Hey Jack!

Im glad you liked the story! This was one of my first written stories so it kinda sucks along w everything else I write heeheh :P

Thank you so much for reading and review swapping w me!


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Review #6, by patronus_charm Decreed

24th February 2013:
Hi Mya! Itís nice to read some of your stuff again, as I havenít read any in a while :)

I really loved the idea of the award ceremony, as Iíve never seen that done before, and itís really fitting considering the Oscars are on tonight!

I thought your description of Raoul kissing her was great, and they were so well done, it was as if he was kissing me! It was interesting that you made him a player, as you wouldnít have assumed that Percyís daughter would get themselves involved with someone like him, but it was funny twist.

I thought it was a nice twist that he was her boss, as it adds more tension, drama and excitement. I almost thought that they were going to have sex then, as it was built up really well. Then Lucy became all girl power, and told him to stop. I was internally cheering for her! I was so proud of her, and just wanted to say ĎYou go girlí!

So Raoul won best head of department then? If only they knew! And Draco was the minister of magic! Iíve never seen that done before, that itís slightly odd that he would be, as I would have thought Percy would have been a better one, it was funny. Then Lucy was his girlfriend I didnít expect that!

Now for some CCís! I have a little Brit pick! You said Mom when it should be Mum. There were quite a few grammar issues, which did disrupt from the flow at times as you had to read over it again. I think the first paragraph had the most issues, and the last sentence was a little confusing as well, as you said she, but I didnít know who the she referred to. I assumed it was Lucy but as it was told in first person throughout, that meant I was confused.

I thought it was an interesting one-shot, it just needs to be proof read. It would be cool to see some follow up to this though:)

-Kiana!

Author's Response: Hey Kiana!

Im glad you liked the story =)

I'll re read it as soon as possible. I really need to start reading my stories again ahha. I always forget.

oo! Whoopsie! Sorry not actually British :P It kinda slips out sometimes!

Thanks for the review!

Mya


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Review #7, by adluvshp Decreed

23rd February 2013:
Hey there! Here for review tag.

This was an interesting one-shot indeed. I liked your plot and the idea of Raoul being a player of sorts, and Lucy - Percy's daughter - falling for him, and such. Your narrative flowed well too, and the concept and emotions were expressed well. I enjoyed the way you wrote your scenes.

There were a couple of grammatical errors and typos though, like you wrote "were" instead of "where" and switched from first person to third person.

But apart from that, this was okay. I liked it. Good job =)

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hey AD

thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it =)

I'll make my way through all of the errors! I didn't re read the story haah :P

Glad you liked it!


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Review #8, by fauxthefox Decreed

22nd February 2013:
Hi! This is Faux from the forums with your requested review! I'll just jump right in here -

I think your characters could use a bit of work - maybe some background? You've painted a pretty good picture of Raoul through Lucy's eyes, but I didn't feel like I got a good idea of Lucy's life or even her personality, besides the fact that she's a bit emotionally dependent on Raoul. I think that adding more detail about Lucy would definitely save her from the Mary Sue zone. Sure, it's only a one-shot, but you still have plenty of room to develop her character and make her more lifelike. :)

I like your writing style a lot, though in some places your phrasing gets a bit confusing. For example, in the sentence "Fleetingly I remembered my own light green dress, thinking about how we contrasted yet still looked like two pieces in a jigsaw," the phrase "yet still" seems a bit redundant/confusing. I'd suggest you look it over and edit it, maybe reading it out loud (that always helps me). I also noticed a spot or two where you switched between first and third person narration.

I like the plot a lot, except that it makes Lucy seem sort of dependent/weak. The idea of the whole award ceremony is pretty cool. :)

Faux.

Author's Response: Hey Faux!

Thanks for the review =)

Oo. I didn't think about Lucy being a Mary Sue... I tried to keep her away from that since obviously she's not perfect since she just listens to what Raoul says.

Im glad you like it. I'll go back and edit that! Thanks for pointing it out =)



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Review #9, by MissMdsty Decreed

20th February 2013:
Hello darling! I'm here, as you might've guessed, with your requested review.

Let's get to it. First, I like your choice of main character. Lucy and Molly, being the children of Percy and the OC Audrey (whom we've never met) give a lot of room for various stories, since we know nothing about them.

I liked how you dropped the little hints about the wizarding world and the way in which the other characters carried on with their lives (Percy still at the Ministry, Rose a Healer, Draco Malfoy, the Minister of Magic !? That makes him Harry and Ron's boss. I bet Ron loved that)! It was a very nice touch.

Raoul seems like the bad boy our Mom's warned us about. He spells nothing but trouble and in some places it seemed to me like he was holding his position in the Department above her head. And of course, Lucy being an intelligent woman, fell in love the way intelligent women do. Like a complete fool.

I especially liked the ending, where she was sure that the announcement was more to prove that he was in a superior position, than to actually announce he loved her. That could make for a very interesting chaptered story. Just saying.

The writting flowed smoothly, I couldn't spot any spelling mistakes and the grammar was impeccable. Good job! Stop by for a request again when you update a story or publish something new!

Ral

Author's Response: Hey Ral!

Thanks so much for doing this =)
Im really glad you liked Raoul! I got the name from Song Of The Lioness, my fav books ahah :P

Ooo! I bet Ron through a fit but for some reason I just couldn't see Draco wallowing in pity or whatever you know? He has been grown to live off of power. Even if he doesn't believe in all of the blood mumbo jumbo, he still needs power. So what better way to get it? :P

I was really confused with which character to use actually. I wanted to write one of the Next Gen Weasleys but I couldn't pick who. In the end I was like Lucy sounds great w Raoul! yaya for couple names :P

oo! hahah great minds think alike! i was actually thinking of maybe writing more about the couple based on if people liked their interaction in this OS.

thank you =) will do!

Mya


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