Reading Reviews for A Long Summer
  
16 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Lululuna Sulking the day away

14th March 2014:
Hi again! :)

I love the chapter image! It foreshadows the chapter perfectly, and is quite funny and English. I like how Harry looks quite distinguished but also a little concerned as well!

I also quite like the tally at the beginning, especially how Harry was planning on running away from home. :P I wonder if the cupboard he was locked in was the one under the stairs? I remember reading that he used to threaten his kids he would lock them there in a prior chapter, which was quite funny.

It was great seeing Ron and Rose and how clearly Ron's kids aren't all that better behaved either. The whole exchange between Rose and Albus made me laugh as well, especially when she just hoped nobody noticed he was "dead." Ron being too tired to try and figure out what Rose was up to made me laugh as well. Also, Ron and Harry made a comment about who James inherited his moodiness from... I think James' ability to hold a grudge reminds me more of his uncle Ron than anyone else! :P

And haha, the ending. I'm glad Harry can outsmart them and even had more dinner ready for James. He should give himself more credit. :P

I'm really loving this and I'm going to favourite it so I'll know if you update! :D This is just such a fun story and reading it really makes me happy. ♥

Blackout Round 3 -Staff Reviews 3/6

Author's Response: Thank you! I had a lot of fun making that chapter image, I can just imagine that being poor James up there, sulking and Harry just having enough of it.

Haha oh the tally! It's so much fun imagining what I can put on the next ones. Poor Harry isn't having a great time with them. Haha that was the cupboard he was locked in. :D

Oh no, Ron's kids aren't as behaved as Ron and Hermione like to believe, if anything they can be worse. Haha Rose isn't exactly the smartest person around, not sure how she would have got away with the 'murder' of her cousin. Haha oh Ron, he just can't be dealing with it all. Oh yeah, James is a lot like his uncle Ron :P

Thank you so much! I shall be updating soon, I've just got to plan what's going to happen in the next chapter. :D Harry might have to take them to work with him.

Your reviews make me happy! :D


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Review #2, by Lululuna Chocolate wars

14th March 2014:
Hi again! :)

Haha, this was great. I was giggling the whole way through. Their game of Quidditch was quite creative/violent, and it was funny how Harry was okay with it as long as it kept them occupied. I also liked the subtle reference to Ginny taking their brooms as I'm sure it was punishment for some prior mischief. :P

The chocolate bar saga was so funny. Poor Harry, not having a whole bar to himself for all that time! The kids peering in at Harry suddenly startled me as it did him, so you definitely wrote the suspense and sneaking around well. :P And then James going up the drain pipe... so clever! I'm glad Harry got to enjoy his chocolate even though he felt sick after. And James' comment about the chocolate tasting better if it belonged to Harry was so true! It always seems to work that way.

I think the funniest part of the story is the sort of nonchalant but goofy tone of the story, and also just how unapologetically bad the kids are. They're just out of control, but I feel like Harry relates to that and doesn't do much to discipline them at the same time. This suits his canon personality quite well as he was never much of a rule enforcer at Hogwarts and such.

Another wonderful chapter, I loved it! :)

Blackout Round 3 - Staff Review 2/6

Author's Response: Hey again! It's good to see you! :D

I always find myself giggling whenever I write this story, those kids get up to some crazy things! Oh yes, the match was clever but violent, I wouldn't want to play at all. Haha, as long as they were out of Harry's hair he didn't mind at all. :P Oh yeah, they get up to a lot of mischief that they get punished for. :P

Poor Harry, he's had to face so much in his life, you would have thought that he could enjoy a bar to himself, but no. Haha I'm sorry that it startled you as well, those are some very sneaky kids! Haha James has his moments.

At least he did get his chocolate, although at a cost. :P

Those kids are so terrible! They just don't care and are quite happy to do what they want without any thought to others. :D I'm glad that you're enjoying the story so far. :D

I am absolutely loving your reviews!! :D And Harry isn't good on the discipline, that's why the kids know that once Ginny is gone they can pretty much control Harry. :P

Thank you so much!


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Review #3, by Lululuna Clingy and dependant

14th March 2014:
Hi Tammi! :) I remember reading this awhile ago and loving it, yet only reviewing the first chapter for some reason. :( I'm sorry! So this is the perfect chance to re-visit this story and leave a review this time.

Hahaha, I really love how silly and fun this story is. The kids and their mischief are so funny, and there were so many little gems and funny moments. First of all, I love how the kids just walk all over Harry, yet pretend to be good when Ginny is around. I imagine that she inspires the same fear in them as Molly did in her kids.

Teddy always managing to find the umbrella stand really made me laugh, especially since it was a flashback to Tonks! I've never actually seen an umbrella stand in real life, but the idea of him always tripping over it is quite funny. And of course, poor Teddy has to get the boys' laundry! :P That was quite funny, especially how non-chalant they all were about it.

I love James here. Usually by this age in fanfic he's already a heartthrob with ten girlfriends but I like him even more here because he's so strange. The reminder of the Witch Weekly subscription was great and I giggled at the image of him swinging on the door. And not taking off his sock for three days... teenage boys are so delightful (not) and you really captured that well.

The kids' comments about being clingy and how their parents shouldn't have had kids if they wanted to be alone was quite funny. I love how clingy the kids are and how dependent they are on their parents, and am excited to read more! :D

I love this! :)

Blackout Round 3 - Staff Reviews 1/6

Author's Response: Hey!!! :D

I'm so glad that you came back to this story *hugs you tightly* I forgive you :P

They are a pretty mischievous lot, aren't they? Poor Harry has no chance, really. Oh yeah, they walk all over Harry, Ginny has all of the fear. :P

Haha poor Teddy, no matter where it goes he finds it, he's just like his mother. :D haha I don't think I have either? Oh poor Teddy and that dirty laundry! He didn't try very hard to get them to do it themselves.

I'm so glad that you love James, he's such a loser in this story. :P I wanted to make him goofy and not very bright and a bit of an idiot. He is a very strange boy, and how I imagine teenage boys to be. :D

Haha thank you so very much! I am loving your reviews so much and I'm sorry it's taken me this long to reply to them *hugs*


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Review #4, by Kate Sulking the day away

8th August 2013:
I really hope you write more chapters soon! This story is
amazing and so funny!

Author's Response: More chapters shall be on the way! Don't worry! :D I'm so glad that you're enjoying this story! :D

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Review #5, by Jchrissy What will I discover inside?

8th May 2013:
Hi A&A (if you don't mind me asking, are you Alicia or Anne?)

I listened to this story over at HPPC and had to come review it! I'm excited to see that there are two more posted chapters, and can't wait to get the time to read those as well!

This was a really creative beginning to what seems like an awesome story. I loved that you gave us something to grip into: Harry's fear. Was his family attacked? Was the man who never gets a break going to have to deal with more horrors even after the terrible things he'd seen as a teenager?

Or...was he going to find his teenage son laying face down heart broken over his mum cancelling which weekly... hahahah!

I think that the annoyance Harry starts to feel is perfect. He was sensitive when he thought James had his heart broken by a girl, and that was awesome. He's been there; he understands. Then when he realized he'd hurt himself and been scared out of his wits because his son was mourning the loss of a magazine, his impatience grew. That felt really natural and I was just giggling all through that section.

One thing I would suggest is maybe changing the Santa Clause thing. I know it's meant to be funny, but in sort of disrupted an already really funny chapter for me and de-aged them in a not awesome way. I do like the idea of something being spoiled in the process of this for Albus, but why not making it age appropriate? Harry is logical and Ginny is very no-nonsense, so I do think they'd have already told their 12/14/15 year old son that Santa Clause does not exist :P. Maybe you could do something like, 'Who knows, she's probably off ruining more lives. Maybe she's telling Albus that his Quaffle signed by *insert quidditch player here* is just a plain old Quaffle that she signed herself.'

Just something that would still be really disappointing without making us wonder all the sudden if Albus is actually a seven year old :P.

Moving on! Your writing flowed so perfectly in this. You transitioned us from Harry's fear, realization, annoyance then by the time you ended it we had a very good idea of what kind of story we're in for. I love that. I love that you captured my attention from the start and by the time I reached the end, I was even more excited to find out what happens next. Harry dealing with a house of three teenagers, one of those being a daughter who has him wrapped around her finger, all without Ginny is really going to be a challenge. Everything from your first paragraph to the last kept me really submerged into this, and I'm so excited to read on!

Author's Response: Heya hun!
I'm actually called Tammi haha, so neither of them actually. It was the name of two characters from a story that I wrote with my friend when we used to fan fiction together, and now it's just me.

I'm so glad that you liked the podcast, Aditi is great isn't she? :D I'm so glad that you like that there's more chapters. I hope that you enjoy them.

I'm so happy that you like the whole fear factor with Harry, who would have guessed that he would find James heartbroken over a magazine?

I'm so glad that it made you giggle with Harry, I would be annoyed as well if that happened to me.

Thank you for your suggestion, I was trying to think of something that would cause Albus to react like that and Santa Claus was all I could think of at the time. But I love your suggestion, is it okay if I use it? Just change it up a little? I absolutely love your idea!

Your kind words in this review have made my day. I'm so glad that you liked my writing in this and I'm so thankful for your help, I appreciate it so much.
Thank you!


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Review #6, by HandofGlory What will I discover inside?

1st May 2013:
Ah, Summer Vacation, when kids seem to do whatever they want!

Honestly, you made the start so suspenseful only for James to be a brat in his protest against cancellation of Witch Weekly. I love moments like that. I will continue to read more.

How old are the kids when this is taking place?

Author's Response: Aww thank you so much. I really hope that you continue reading my story.
The kids ages are explained in the next chapter, but they're in their teens. So they're old enough to know better.


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Review #7, by Lululuna What will I discover inside?

29th April 2013:
Hello, here from review tag! :)

This is such a great start to your story and made me laugh out loud on several accounts. Harry is portrayed perfectly: I love how awkward he is with James, how he's always saying "er," and how he melts like butter when Lily asks him for anything. It's exactly how I would picture him as a dad. Also, the opening lines were just hilarious: how much Harry fears what lurks in his own home, despite the fact that he's, well, Harry Potter!!! I absolutely loved it.

James is hilarious: I hope for Harry's sake that Ginny renews her subscription! It would be great too if you added what James loves so much about the magazine, like if there's a specific story or hair products column or what not that he's following.

And poor Albus! I don't blame him for getting upset, finding out about Santa is a traumatizing experience for any kid! Out of curiosity, how old are the kids here? I'm guessing around 13-16, but it was a bit unclear.

I spotted a couple places where the structure or language could be cleaned up a bit:
"He waved the wand, muttering a spell and immediately the lights turned on in the hallway instantly brightening it." could be: "He waved his wand and muttered a spell. Immediately the hallway lights turned on and the space was instantly brighter."
"He wasn't quite the genius that Albus scarily was, so sometimes he needed all the gentle nudging and threatening to do his work that Harry and Ginny could provide." could be: "While Albus had turned out to be a frighteningly unexpected genius, James needed all the gentle nudging and threatening that the Potter parents could provide."

These are just examples, but a little bit of fine-tuning would polish up your lovely story and make it an even smoother read.

Great job with this, and I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter and reading more about the wild exploits of the Potters! :)

Author's Response: Heya! Sorry it's taken me so long to reply to this, but I am replying now! :D

I'm glad that it made you laugh, I'm so worried that people won't find the story funny.
Thank you, I wanted to try and make him a bit lost at what to say to make situations better, and he's definitely wrapped around Lily's finger. I'm so glad that you like the opening lines as well :D

I will definitely add what's so great about the subscription into the story, in fact it's going into the fourth chapter. The magazine shall be returning!

The kids are teenage. I should really write that in, I don't know why I haven't. James is about 16 Albus is 15 and Lily is 13.

Thank you for pointing them out, I shall edit them in. I really appreciate the help, I'm normally in a rush to post so I end up missing things and not going back to edit, so you're a big help! :D

Thank you for the tips :D

Thank you so much, I hope that you continue to enjoy the story, thanks once again for reading and reviewing.


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Review #8, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Chocolate wars

27th April 2013:
I love the bit at the top, it's like this is a big military operation. Good V Bad. It's awesome. Their game was kinda cool, even if they were hurting themselves. It's definitely not a wuss' game. :P

Harry, you little sneak. I love you. I could just imagine the whole scene in my head, it was brilliant. So funny. James is... Strange. Lets go with strange. Haha. I can't believe he stuffed the entire thing into his mouth. But I would have done, too, if I didn't want to share (in fact, I have...), so I don't blame him.

Poor Teddy. When is he going to not trip over that thing? He should be hugged for Harry using him to get peace and quiet. I hope he'll be okay with them. :)

Awesome chapter. Can't wait for more.

Sam.

Author's Response: Well it is going to be a big military operation. Harry definitely against the kids, who would have stolen Teddy to be on their side hehe.
Oh their game is definitely not for wuss'

Harry is very sneaky, it's where James gets it from :D Haha

James is very strange, and very devious and very talented at climbing drainpipes incredibly fast.

Harry is well within his reasons to not want to share his chocolate :D He maybe shouldn't have eaten it so fast.

Teddy will never not trip over that umbrella stand, he takes after his mother :p

Of course the kids will run riot on Teddy.

I shall be writing more soon! :D

Thanks Sam!!! :D You're awesome!


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Review #9, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Clingy and dependant

18th March 2013:
"Where's Lily?" Albus asked, looking around the room. It had been about an hour since - an hour since what? Harry and Ginny leaving?

Teddy was the one who was babysitting them and if he couldn't be bothered to keep an eye on them all, then that was his own fault. - best line ever. I love Albus.

They really are so selfish and clingy and dependent, it's hilarious to read. And Albus shouting "Tell us something we don't know!" Is definitely another favorite line.

I love that Harry threatens to make them live in the cupboard under the stairs, considering he lived in the cupboard. Oh, the irony!!! And it's Al's hiding spot!

I can't believe he broke James' arm, then said it was unfair to be grounded. I can't wait to see how he gets out of it with Harry. I'm already agreeing that Harry will crack and I just wanna yell "come on, Harry! You're stronger than this" at the screen!

Amazing chapter. Loved it. :D

Sam.

Author's Response: I am so glad that you pointed that out, I was in a rush to put the chapter into the queue that I forgot all about going over and reading it again haha.

I love that line too :D Albus is so mean to poor Teddy :D

They are extremely selfish and clingy children well teenagers actually :p

Haha oh Harry, he seems to think that living under the cupboard under the stairs is a threat, but his children would definitely get him back for that.

Yep Albus broke poor James's arm.
Harry is definitely going to be cracking soon, he's going to need all of the support he can get!

*waves flag and cheers about believing in Harry*

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #10, by Pixileanin What will I discover inside?

15th March 2013:
I loved the foreboding you had built up at the start of this story. We're not sure what is behind that door, and Harry is dreading it, so it's got to be bad, right? Haha!

There's nothing more terrifying than finding your child motionless on the floor... and then it turns into typical kid angst.

"Yeah, I just choose not to."

Ah Ha! And poor Harry tries to be comforting and understand, and then poor Albus! That was not even fair to spread the misery around. Bad little James! And to top it all off, I completely identified with Ginny about not being able to have nice things with the kids around. *sigh*

I think you captured the exasperation of an exhausted parent very well in this. Rambunctious children can be hard to handle.

Thanks for the entertaining story!

Author's Response: :D

Oh yes Harry has been met with teenage angst, sadly it just seems to be a daily occurence for poor Harry to face.

James just had to spread his misery around :p He sadly doesn't think much before he speaks.
Aww poor you having nice things broken too *hugs*

I'm so glad that you liked my story :D
Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #11, by soufflegirl99 What will I discover inside?

6th March 2013:
This is such a funny, awesome one shot! The whole idea is totally original and creative, and we saw more of a relaxed Harry and as a caring dad too!

Not only do I love the POV and the portrayal of each of the children. The whole plot is comical as it is so common and realistic to muggles, yet interesting how it's interpreted in a wizard situation. The character's are very easy to relate and empathaise too, and it's brilliant seeing Ginny and Harry as parents and how they handle the stress, the children and their work, e.t.c.

Overall, an awesome, thoroughly enjoyable story with lots of humour and loveellyy caring bits too, showing a stage in parenthood that we can all sympathaise for!! :D

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you think its original :D I really wanted to try and write a comedy story that was different from others that I had read before.

You've made my day with your kind words, It means a lot for you to say that the characters are relatable.

I hope that you continue reading the story :D Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #12, by CambAngst What will I discover inside?

6th March 2013:
Hi, there! I'm paying you a visit for the Review Battle!

Poor Harry. I have two boys at home and I don't envy him the task of managing a rowdy pair like James and Albus. Add in their little sister, who plainly has Harry wrapped around her little finger, and it seems like he's in for long few days.

One general comment about your writing before I dive into the substance of the story: you seem to have a lot of very long sentences. I saw a couple of situations where an entire paragraph was one long sentence, broken into four or five clauses. I think your writing would flow smoother if you broke some of those long sentences up. When you combine that many clauses into a single sentence, sometimes it's hard to keep track of what verbs and adjectives relate to what subject.

The scene that you set was easy to relate to. Coming home from a long day at work only to be confronted by barely controlled chaos isn't anyone's idea of a relaxing evening. James was so funny, pining away for his lost subscription to Witch Weekly. I can only imagine why he was reading that. "Just for the articles", I'm sure. ;) And then he goes and ruins Christmas for Albus! No wonder the two of them wind up fighting like cats and dogs.

Ginny seemed like a nice reflection of her mother, keeping order in a house full of unruly and/or manipulative children. I get shades of those stories where Arthur is left to manage on his own in Molly's absence.

Lily was so sweet! She's the perfect Daddy's Little Girl, right down to the way she twists his affections to get what she wants.

I saw a few things that might be typos or just read strangely:

He waved the wand, muttering a non verbal spell and immediately the lights turned on in the hallway, brightening it. - If it's a non-verbal spell, why did he have to mutter?

... it was the second day into the kids summer holidays and him and Ginny liked to make sure that the kids homework was done straight away... - I think you need to end 'kids' with s-apostrophe if the word is meant to be possessive, and it should be "he and Ginny".

He was hoping for a somewhat peaceful time, seen as though he would be looking after them alone for at least one week. - "seeing as though"?

Harry wish he was capable of standing up for himself around the two girls... - Harry wished?

I'd be remiss if I didn't point out my two favorite lines:

It was because of those two boys that Ginny and Harry couldnít have nice things. - I chuckled out loud at this. I can totally relate.

... heíd have to talk to Ron about it all and see if he had any tips for him. - Oh, boy. That isn't going to end well.

Overall, I think you have a good start here. The idea seems like it has a lot of potential. Nice job!

Author's Response: Heya! Sorry it's taken me so long to get around to responding to your amazing review :D

Oh yes poor Harry, he's definitely not cut out to look after all three children on his own, especially Lily as you mentioned had Harry totally wrapped around her little finger.

Thank you for pointing that out about the sentences, I have a tendency to just put the chapter out before I edit it, so I must go back and change things. Thank you once again for pointing it out, it's a lot of help :D

I'm so glad that the scene was easy to relate to, I wanted to try and make it as realistic as I could, so it's great to hear that it is.
Oh James, he has a special place in my heart, he gets up to a lot of mischeif over the story so I hope that you continue to read to find out more.
James and Albus can't seem to get through a day without hurting the other, either physically or mentally.

Ginny has turned out a lot like her mother, I think it would have been the only way she would have been able to control her children as well as keep Harry in check, not that he would ever be out of check with her :p

Lily is definitely a daddy's girl, anything she wants she makes sure she gets haha.

Thank you for pointing that out, I went back and edited it so it shoudl read better, hopefully. *fingers crossed*

I'm so glad that you loved those two lines! The first one is one of my favourites of the chapter.

Thank you so much for your lovely review, and I'm so glad that you enjoyed the chapter. I hope that you read on to find out what other mischeif they all get up to.


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Review #13, by TheHeirOfSlytherin What will I discover inside?

25th February 2013:
James is so totally the dramatic one. You take that stand! Fight for your little, girly magazine! :P Just don't hurt Harry, he's about t go through one of the scariest events in his entire life!!!

Ooooh, Albus; the smart one. He's like Hugo, I love that. I can't believe James dashed his dreams of Santa being real, he's completely right; don't do the homework and so keep the money!

And Lily, the lets pretend I'm sweet and innocent one. Also Hugo. I love that, too. It's so much fun to read and write.

I can't believe that Ginny is just going to leave him. Can't she see that he just won't cope? Doesn't she know him at all??? *hugs Harry*

I love this so much. I'm SO excited for more!!!

Sam.

Author's Response: Oh yes, James is very dramatic. He is going to take a stand for as long as he can, well until his mother puts a stop to it all :D
Haha yes, definately like Hugo. Yeah stupid James, ruining everything for poor Albus, but at least he did get some money out of it all!
Haha I love how much they're like Hugo :D
Poor Harry he's really not going to be able to cope at all, bless him.
I should hopefully start the new chapter of this soon, I'm a bit preoccupied with Vampire Academy :-p Thanks for the wonderful review Sam! You're the best!


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Review #14, by patronus_charm What will I discover inside?

17th February 2013:
Hello itís patronus_charm from the Mumford and Sons challenge! I was really intrigued to see what you did with this quote, as it was one of my favourite ones as you can do so much with it!

I thought it was great that you made Harry afraid of entering the house, as you would imagine that he would be pretty fearless considering everything heís faced, and yet his scared of entering his own home. I thought this was rather comical.

James made me laugh so much, and it was nice to see that he wasnít the arrogant person, heís usually portrayed to be. I get so bored of this portrayal of him, as I donít picture him as big headed, so I much preferred how you wrote him.

The fact that he was heartbroken over his subscription being cancelled was great, as you donít tend to react like that, and for a womenís magazine as well. I felt for Harry then, as it seemed like a rather strange situation to deal with, and you could sense he almost wished that he was heartbroken, as that would have been normal to deal with.

I really liked all of the sibling interactions, but I think the best one was Albusís reaction to finding out Father Christmas didnít really exist, poor him, when I found that out, it felt as if my world had come crashing down. I also really liked how your portrayed Harry and Ginny as parents, and I found it very accurate how Harry was the more lenient parent, whereas Ginny was the rule enforcer.

I thought this was a good start to the story, and Iíll PM you the results of the challenge (though that wonít be for a while ;) ).

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: Heya! Your challenge was so much fun to write and I'm so glad that I took part in it. I do love a bit of Mumford and Sons, my favourite son is I gave you all.

Thank you I'm glad that you liked that, I wanted to have him have a fear of his crazy family.

Oh James, yes James is a very silly and crazy person in this story, I didn't want to portray him as big headed, I wanted him to be a bit stupid.

Poor Harry will have to deal with a lot more from his children in the future so the magazine will be something he wishes he could go back to :D

Ah yes Albus, not something that a teenager should be upset over but funny none the less. Aww bless you! *hugs*

I'm so glad that you enjoyed this story, thank you so much for reading and reviewing it, I can't wait to hear the results of the challenge :D


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Review #15, by wizardunicorn What will I discover inside?

13th February 2013:
I love this! It's really good, I really want to read more!

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing :D I'm so glad that you like thia and I'm going to be writing the next chapter soon, so keep an eye out :D

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Review #16, by Siriusly89 What will I discover inside?

13th February 2013:
Hee! Harry the struggling father! I love it!

In the epilogue, we sort of see the good side of everything, but this is so refreshing, because lets face it, Harry and Ginny both have very strong personalities so undoubtedly their children are going to have strong personalities too! I love James, he is just so. . . . James! He is exactly how I imagine teenage James and Sirius would have been, except you don't say that outright, so thats a nice touch! And then Lily has her Dad wrapped round her little finger, like all girls should :P

Brilliant first chapter! Update soon please :D

Author's Response: Yay! My first review for this story :D
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and I'm so glad that you enjoyed this.
Harry is going to be struggling a lot over the holidays, and yes they do have strong personalities.
Thank you once again! :D I shall be writing the next chapter soon.


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