Reading Reviews for An Unnecessary Burden
  
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by potterfan310 Chapter 3

2nd September 2013:
Me again :)

I'm in agreement with Ellen, Poppy is rather calm about everything.

I really like this chapter, although it's a filler one and there's not much action it really shows more of Poppy's personality and her strong friendship with Ellen who seems like a really good friend as well as OC. I really like both of them and I think at the end Poppy is slowly starting to over come the shock and freak out.

"towards to her bedside locker" - This just sounds a bit American, you'd probably be better off saying bedside table.

Again the double spacing is the only thing that keeps averting ym eyes.

Definitely adding this to my favs and I can't wait for the next chapter, especially as it's in Al's point of view and I'm sure we'll see how he's handling things.

10/10
-Potterfan310
Soph :)

 Report Review

Review #2, by potterfan310 Chapter 2

2nd September 2013:
"The idea of Albus throwing himself off the clock tower entered my head and it was placed rather high on the list too." - I really Love this sentence, it sort of gives us an insight to what Al's like even though he's unconscious and how he'd react in a difficult/sensitive situation.

I'm in agreement with Poppy, spiders are horrible!!

I still love Al's reaction and the fact they say nothing until Poppy mentions the castle state. I'm glad they've decided to keep the baby although Al didn't really say much about it, he just agreed with Poppy. Surely he'd have something to say about, an opinion maybe?

Telling the parents scenes are always fun to read and to write! I can't wait to read it and hopefully there will be some drama :)

Again my only CC is the double spacing between the paragraphs.

10/10
-Potterfan310
Soph :)

 Report Review

Review #3, by potterfan310 Chapter 1

2nd September 2013:
Hey there.

I Love reading Al/OC and Teen pregnancy (I'm weird :p) and I stumbled across this earlier today.

I like Poppy so far, even though we haven't seen that much of her personality I like that she's very organised and sort of a neat freak. It's a good different that will make her stand out. Her name keeps reminding of Poppy Moore from the film Wild Child, because the guy she fell for was Freddie Kingsley and it just keeps reminding of the film :)

It's nice and original to see that they're an actual couple because most of the time it's a one night stand. I really do like Al's reaction, I love it how he faints. If I was Poppy I would probably be freaking out a bit more. I mean did she realise because of symptoms that made her take a test or did someone mention something?

One thing I 'd think about sorting is the spacing between your paragraphs as it disrupts the flow and makes it harder to read.

It's a good start and I'm off to read chapter 2!

-Potterfan30
Sophie :D

 Report Review

Review #4, by soapman333 Chapter 3

16th April 2013:
Al didn't pull a peeves, all is well :P

I like your MC, she's got a lot of personality. Albus' faint reaction was just hilarious. This chapter doesn't have much action in it, but that's fine. There always needs to be a chapter that shows a strong friendship, and Ellen seems like a very nice friend.

I didn't like the spacing in this chapter. I've never been a fan of scrolling so much between paragraphs.

Update soon ;)

 Report Review

Review #5, by TimeSeer Chapter 2

21st March 2013:
NEW CHAPTER! NEW CHAPTER! NEW CHAPTER! I love Albus's reaction to finding out that she is pregnant. And he just stays unconscious for awhile afterwards.

And they have to tell their parents. That is going to be interesting. They also decided to keep the baby which is good.

Anyway please update soon!

Author's Response: Aw, glad you liked it! The next update may be a little slow but I most definitely will try my best to get chapter 3 up as quick as I can! Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #6, by NerdyTeddy Chapter 1

20th March 2013:
Not to generic! Pregnant by a Potter child stories usually are :P
Um, why is she not freaking out? I would be freaking out. Like, a lot.
a LOT, that is to say.
Is Albus hated by his family? Does he want kids? Dramatic question prompting an immediate answer that I can't reply to because I just realised I'm not logged into my account?
Maybe.
(I'll write my user name in the box part to save you some trouble, by the way).
Please continue. I might like this, but it's hard to completely tell from just the first -short- chapter.
Byeee

Author's Response: Haha, I think Poppy is just too shocked at this moment in time. It hasn't fully hit her yet. The dramatic freakouts will most likely follow.
To answer your questions, No Albus is not hated by his family and yes, he does want kids but I think he planned on becoming a father a little later in life!
I hope you do like this story and yes I agree that this chapter was very short but this was just to get the ball rolling! Thanks for your review!


 Report Review

Review #7, by TimeSeer Chapter 1

10th March 2013:
I am liking this story already. It is looking great and I really want to read more. I like Poppy already even though we haven't seen much of her already. I also love that Albus fainted and how they were actually together when she got pregnant. In most stories they are not together when the girl gets pregnant so this is refreshing. Anyway please update soon!

Author's Response: Oh wow that's great! And yes, I thought I'd make it a little different and I'm glad someone appreciates it! I will and thanks for your review!

 Report Review

Review #8, by laughingfornow Chapter 1

10th March 2013:
Oh dear.
This will be fun.
I like this story.
Will you be uploading soon?

Author's Response: Haha glad you like it! Yes, I will. I'm currently planning out the second chapter so it should be up soon!

 Report Review

Review #9, by insert_witty_comment Chapter 1

9th March 2013:
oh... I really like it! can't wait to read more x

Author's Response: Thank you!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login