I think one of my favourite parts while reading this was the part where Dom was talking about how Lily and Rose had flowers outside of their house. My mind was already thinking that it would be roses and lilies because of their names and then this grin just came on my face when it said that it was roses and lilies.
I know, it's such a small part but I liked it. Out of the two, Rose is definitely the conceited one, Lily was more friendly but Rose definitely had an arrogant air around her with the way that she acted and spoke.
I like following the dialogue, it flows really well and I definitely don't think that it's too much.
My favourite line was definitely "Albus Potter, modeling agent, generally attractive human wizard. Single. Duly noted."
Anyway, I think you did an awesome job on the chapter!Author's Response: Hey there :)
Everyone seems to like the flowers! I thought it would be a cute touch and a way to convey how girly Rose and Lily are while poking fun at the seemingly self-absorbed nature of the modeling industry. I'm very pleased that it's gone over so well.
I'm happy you can already see the differences between Rose and Lily. I imagined their personalities working to their benefit because you could have two contrasting ideas in your photo shoots and appeal to different kinds of potential consumers.
It's also great to hear that you liked the dialogue and felt like it was well-balanced with the plot.
Thank you for this sweet review!
-Amanda Report Review
Hey Amanda! :) Had a spare twenty minutes or so (I've overrun a bit, but ah well) in between revision, so I nabbed the chance to finish this.
It's weird, because I've always thought of you before this as writing more dramatic, angsty, Snape-related type fics and this just completely throws that out of the window. You're a lot more versatile, and you can do everything you've tried just as well. I'm kinda jealous, tbh :P
But yes, onto this... I love Darcy. I'm always sceptical about OCs, because so many of them tend to be so similar to one another and I've seen a lot of borderline Mary Sues, but I love that Darcy's genuinely awkward at times, has definite opinions (like when she doesn't like Rose to begin with), develops her opinions as they story goes along instead of just switching them immediately and has sort of real-life problems which most people probably face. It's nice - it's very real, which I love. Also, I loved the nod to the canon information, with her grandmother and the mention of Dirk Cresswell. It was such a neat way to tie it in and such a sweet scene to see, even if it was a little heartbreaking.
One thing I have to mention quickly is that I love how you managed to do a story about fashion and that whole industry without it just being a list of products and a continual discussion of clothes. You really focused on the plot, which is kinda impressive to me.
Albus was so sweet! Again, he was kinda awkward and so real in the way that he didn't really know what he wanted to do. I know a whole bunch of people who don't really know what they want to do with their lives - I knew people who didn't even know what they wanted to do at uni three months before they had to apply! It's nice to see a character who doesn't have a life-time goal in terms of a job (I love the mention of travelling!) and also nice to see a James Potter II who isn't a Quidditch superstar/Auror :)
I'm so impressed that even though this is so short all of your characters are so well-developed and thought out. All of them. From Lorcan to Madam Maxime, they're all wonderful. Even the little characters who only get a brief mention, like the interns, have personality and I love it. Of course, I didn't really expect anything less because this is /you/ and you're always brilliant at characterisation, but it's in ten chapters and that's impressive.
Mysterious Scorpius at the end... and a cheeky dose of Scorpius/Dominique... :P I like how you ended Darcy and Albus' story and the story of the cover, without completely finished the story of the individual characters, if that makes sense. It's like we know that there's more to go with them, but we're at a place we can leave them... gah, I don't think I'm making any sense, sorry :P
I've loved this so much. There's so many brilliantly emotive moments in it - like when Albus misunderstands their whole dinner date and Darcy leans against the door - and so many good lines (I love the last line; it made me laugh out loud). It was such a lovely thing to read, totally different to what I normally read and I really, really enjoyed it :)
Thank you for writing this! :)
Aph xxAuthor's Response: Hi Aph! Pleased to hear from you again!
I do write a lot of angst and dark fics because those are the sort of emotions I'm exposed to every day and that's where I think my strength is. This was a little experiment to see if I could write fluff and still keep it interesting and not cliche. Thanks for the compliment!
Like a lot of my characters, especially OCs, I based Darcy on myself and people I know a lot. I wanted her to feel human and complex and not be just another zany, adorably awkward girl. She deals with stuff on a daily basis, both minor hassles and deeper difficulties, and as you mentioned, it takes time for her to form and change her opinions.
I was so, so worried readers would get totally bored with a story about fashion beyond the first chapter. I tried to keep it central to the plot but not the only thing going on here.
You know that I love little more than changing up cliched versions of characters and making them my own. Albus and James, as well as all the other next gens, were no exception. I felt like they could easily stray into the territory of being too awkward (and thus not really likeable) or into that of being too confident (and thus unapproachable). Instead, I tried to give them--well, Albus, really--moments of each, to make them more like real people.
I sort of modeled the ending like the 'epilogue' in a classic romantic comedy. It gives you a light little glimpse of the future without weaving a whole new story in a few scenes. It's sort of up to the reader to decide for themselves where things should go from here.
I'm actually really proud of this story and the positive reception it has received, and your comments mean a lot to me because you're obviously brilliant. Thank you for taking the time to follow this and leave such lovely reviews :)
-Amanda Report Review
LOVED this story. the ending made me smile. and overall it was a great, feel-good fluffy piece. i really enjoyed it.
~MAuthor's Response: That's so great to hear! I meant for this to be just that--feel good and fluffy. I don't write much of it and I'm pleased to hear it worked well.
Thanks for another very kind review :)
-Amanda Report Review
im enjoying this story! i can't wait to read more!
~MAuthor's Response: Thanks! I'm happy to hear from you again and I'm glad you're enjoying the story :)
-Amanda Report Review
First to address your comments in your AN: I LOVE following the dialogue. I think you write it with a very smooth touch. There are enough tags to understand who is saying what, but you donít over to it or make it feel monotonous at all. Darcy is a really fun outside perspective considering the rest of our MCís are all related. I loved her thoughts about the flower box. I totally thought how funny it would be if they were their Ďnameí flowers, so when they were and she basically thought, Ďreally?í I totally Lolíd. Darcy and I are going to continue getting along very well, I think.
Later in the chapter, Dominiqueís evaluation of why the two work well together with their contrasting appearances, at least to the public eye, was so awesome! It made perfect sense. Every man is attracted to a certain kind of woman, even if itís the sort of woman heíd never want to actually be involved with but is really intrigued by. Iíd even go as far to say every woman has a specific kind of woman they want to be like. Some days you might want to be all Angelina Jolie or Keira Knightly hard core, other days you might wish you were more softer and just a naturally charismatic person like Rachel McAdams. I never really thought of how genius it was to have both kinds of women working along side one another for their modeling, but it really is! Maybe you should be an agent :P.
Darcy was clearly out of her comfort zone but still acted perfectly natural. You can tell she doesnít love to be surrounded by divas, but she still plays the part well and itís necessary to further her career. Sheís devoted to what she does, though she currently isnít loving exactly what that is, and she isnít this socially awkward person who canít handle these kind of situations. I really, really love that because I feel like so many OCís have been cropping up as these quirky girls who stammer their way through situations but are still adorable. Not that thereís anything wrong with that, but Darcy feels a million times more realistic. More than that, I actually found myself liking her. The sort of, Ďthis girl would be nice to be friends with,í kind of life.
Iím excited to watch her and Albusís next encounter! You set up just enough, hmmm without making it feel *too* set up. I think that theyíre really going to enjoy one another, these two :D!
I really enjoyed this chapter and hope it doesnít take nearly as long for me to get back for the next!
Also, you write these fluffier, easier sort of scenes really well. Youíre a very diverse author, miss Amanda.Author's Response: Ooh, that's great! This story is more dialogue heavy than a lot of my others, I think, and so I was worried that it would be too monotonous. It seems like it would be odd to be on the outside of the Potter-Weasley gang and to interact with so many of them at one time, particularly with Darcy being as awkward as she is at times. I love that you had a similar reaction to the flowers as her :)
Hah, I'll add 'modeling agent' to my list of back-up careers... though between you and me, just the motivation of wanting to stick it to my advisor is enough to make me want to finish the one I'm in! :D It's great that you like the idea of Lily and Rose's double act. I do think their differing personalities could enable them to become anything they needed to be for a particular photo shoot or runway show.
For some reason having an awkward main character seems to be integral to writing a next-gen story. It is comforting to hear that the sort of awkward I chose is at least realistic. She can still suck it up and deal with things at work that annoy her, and she's not falling over herself so much that she can't deliver a smooth line or enjoy a moment from time to time. I'm very proud of how she turned out and I think she's a bit like me, though I say that about most of my characters.
It's really great that you are enjoying the story so far and feel like I've pulled it off well. I'm so excited to hear what you think as you continue through the rest. Thanks again, dear!
-Amanda Report Review
Before anything else, I wanted to make sure my last review didn't come across as agressive, because I really did like the ending (even though I'm hopeless for a 'ride off into the sunset' ending)...
However, where I likd your ending of Yellow, I loved the ending of this! It was fun to have a chapter from Dom's point of view.
Scorpius' appearance made my day. "Call my agent", my big toe. Pulling the line on Rose, then on her own cousin, tsk tsk. And letting Dom pay for the tea -- I'm sure Narcissa Malfoy must be turning over in her grave at his lack of manners.
I liked the fact that you gave us an exterior opinion on Darcy and Albus. Again, there's this sense of closure and continuity in your ending, which is great, as you end the story but still leave space for our imagination.
This was a lovely conclusion to an even lovelier story Ė here are some hearts to thank you for making my days with your amazing writing &hearts &hearts &hearts
(Also, can I say how excited and gleeful I am Lily and Rose are in Rome? That's where I might be in a few months!)Author's Response: No, no, I didn't see it that way :) I just felt bad that I was going to be letting you down a bit by not promising a sequel, that's all. Hopefully that's not the case. You did like the ending.
Scorpius is awkward in his own way, just like most of the others. I wanted to give Dominique her moment in the sun, her chance to be the leading lady if only for a short time. It's great that you liked the way this wrapped up and enjoyed getting, as you said, an outside perspective on how everyone ended up.
Thanks for another wonderful review, Val! (And I am so, so jealous! Enjoy yourself!!) Report Review
I'm going to be sad about not having anymore Darcy/Albus times, as it was a nice change to the usual next gen I see, but at least I can make up for it by finally getting round to Post Scriiptum ;)
It seemed fitting that the story focused on Dom in the last chapter, as she was floating in the background for most of it by playing the calm cousin or match maker so I liked learning more about her :)
I liked the letter from Darcy it seemed to reveal so much about what had been going on without it getting boring. I can see that Darcy and Albus' relationship is going well if they're in Scotland, as is Lily and Rose's career if they're hitting Rome now.
It was a nice insight into their lives and to see that they were going well :)
I loved the way Dom was looking at that photo of Scorpius, it seemed as if she was beginning to like him then, and I was wondering whether she was getting a crush on him and how annoyed Rose would be about it.
Then for him to turn up and to offer to take her to have tea was just brilliant. It just seemed so fitting and it was a great bit of drama to end the story on. It almost as if it was suggesting there was going to be a sequel, are my assumptions are correct?
Oh well, either way I really enjoyed this story and it was nice to the usual next gen I come across ;D
-Kiana :DAuthor's Response: Hi Kiana! Sorry this response is coming so late!
It's so great to hear that you liked the story as a whole and enjoyed this final chapter. I meant for it to be like an epilogue, and you know how fond I am of perspective-switching, so it felt right to let Dominique have her moment in the spotlight. Yep, everyone is doing well, and I'm pleased that you were happy to see that resolution.
Dominique isn't impervious to Scorpius's charm and model looks, but his self-righteous attitude annoys her. It was amusing to imagine her stumbling over herself trying to figure out what to do with him right there in front of her. In a way, then, Dominique has her own resolution--an interesting future.
I actually don't have a sequel planned for this story. I'm not one to ever close the door prematurely, so if I ever got an idea, I might go with it. For now, though, this is the end.
Thanks for the lovely review, Kiana :) Report Review
Hey there! Glad to be able to pop back! Term's over so I've got a bit more time now and this is definitely on my to-read list.
I'm excited that things seem to be picking up in this chapter. Darcy and Dominique meeting Rose and Lily to ask about the cover shoot, Rose and Lily agreeing to do it, Darcy meeting Albus... it's all kicking off and it's making me curious about what will happen next and how things will turn out.
I love your Rose and Lily, as well. I've read a lot of versions of them (who hasn't? lol), but yours are probably two of the best I've read. I love how Rose is ambitious and clever and Lily is sweet and more sensible than Rose is. They compliment each other in a weird sort of argument-inducing way. I also love how they only do things together, it's an interesting way of working... but the way they explained it to Darcy was so neat :)
Ooh, Darcy likes Albus! Or if she doesn't like him, he definitely seems to like her, lol :P Lingering handshake... I liked that, I dunno, it seemed less cliche than other things you see around, like staring at the girl they like, etc. and it fits his character nicely. I hope we see more of him in the future, as well. Particularly with Darcy ;)
Also, fyi, Twinkle is the cutest elf. Seriously.
So glad I got to read this! I will definitely be back soon - in between revision :)
Aph xxAuthor's Response: Thanks! I like my Rose and Lily, though I haven't read enough next gen to know how cliche they are. I always figured Lily would be kind and gentle, but Rose I just kind of played up for comedic effect and contrast. At the end of the day, though, they're very close, just two pretty young witches taking on the world.
Yeah, there's some romantic tension there between Darcy and Albus. They're both sort of awkward, but I think their awkwardness works well together, if that makes sense.
Twinkle! No one has commented on him so far, but I like him. Poor thing having to deal with Rose and her many specific requests.
Thanks for another awesome review, Aph, and I hope to hear from you again soon :)
-Amanda Report Review
I was planning on reading this yesterday, but with the prank and all I thought it would be better to wait for the words to be back to normal! Oh and before I forget I havenít forgotten about Post Scriptum, I just never seem to have the time, but I should get round to it the next few days... hopefully :D
It was funny to see that Darcy was the one being made up for once, as usually itís her doing it for other people. It was nice that she got her time to shine though, and hopefully Albus will notice the effort she put into it. Aha she was doing it for Albus, I really should leave writing the review until the end of the chapter, but I have tendency to forget everything then! And sheís going to Paris with him, the only time I went was when I was nine so I was more impressed by the Eiffel Tower than the romance, but I can see why Darcy was getting excited.
Haha Lorcanís smug and angry! That was a great twist, Iím so used to seeing him being dreamy and airy, but this was such a nice change. Who knows maybe Rolf was like that, as we never get to meet him. Then again, no one would ever imagine that Lorcan would be an editor for a fashion magazine. I didnít expect Skeeter and Lockhart to pop up at the fashion show, but I loved it with both of them being vain and sort of celebrities.
Aw, the note! How romantic! I was glad to see that Albus had brought up the last date and that he was apologising for it, it was so him. I almost thought it was meant to be a date then, but hey thereís a show to go! At least there was a kiss and it made me aw again!
I liked the runway scene. Of course Lily would have to rebel and begin smiling. I liked it though, because Iíve watched fashion shows and the people just look moody, even though they get to wear designer dresses worth thousands of pounds, but Lily said true to who she was. Iím glad they won though, I couldnít have seen it go any other way. And Darcy even won praise from Rita Skeeter, so it must have been good.
Next-gen and fluff arenít usually my sort of thing either, but Iíve really enjoyed this story, and Iíll be sad to see it end. As for your points in youíre AN Iíve really loved Darcy as an OC, and the plot line was great too, so itís been a delight to read this story.
-Kiana :DAuthor's Response: Probably a good call :) I was rolling with laughter just looking back at my own stories. And I know you're busy, so if you don't have time to check out Post Scriptum, that's okay. If you do, though, I'm excited to hear from you!
Darcy is finally giving in to the romance of a trip to Paris with the boy she has a crush on. She's not totally devoid of glamour, and she does like to dress up and go out once in a while. I'm glad to hear that you liked her little meetup with Albus and the kiss scene.
My head canon for this story is that Lorcan is the one who doesn't fit into his family. His straight-laced nature is his way of separating himself from his brother and rebelling against his straight-laced parents. I'm happy you liked seeing those familiar faces on the panel!
It's good that you enjoyed the fashion show, too. I was a little worried about the quick pace in this chapter, but I figured everyone could guess how things would turn out with the contest. Don't worry, one more chapter is still left--it's an epilogue of sorts. Stay tuned!
Thanks, Kiana, for another fantastic review!
-Amanda Report Review
Hello! This is the first review I've left in months thanks to rubbish RL stuff going on, so I apologise if it's not very good :/
Anyway, now that I've figured out how to translate all the anti-shipping words I really enjoyed this chapter! It's a great idea for a story and I love your OC Darcy (I'm assuming she's the daughter of Dirk Cresswell?). She doesn't seem at all cliched and is an interesting person to read about. And i have to say, I always really enjoy the next-gens that aren't set in Hogwarts. :D
It was a really fantastic first chapter and you've got great humour skills but without making it sound too over-the-top and forced. It's a much more subtle kind of comedy that just gives everything a light, easy-read feel.
Darcy's job sounds really cool as well! Certainly unusual.
I really enjoyed reading that!
-LWGAuthor's Response: Hah, I pity you for tagging me during the April Fool's prank. But I'm glad you liked the story!
Darcy is actually Dirk Cresswell's granddaughter. Kudos to you for picking up on the canon reference before I mention it later in the story! It's lovely that she doesn't seem cliche or Sueish and that you like reading about her post-graduation life.
Oh, I'm so pleased that you like the humor! I don't think of myself as a very good humor writer because I can't seem to get that zany, wild, over-the-top humor that seems to pervade a lot of next-gen stories. I'm happy to hear that you like my subtle style better.
Thanks for your sweet review! Hope to see you back again sometime soon!
-Amanda Report Review
*mwah* *mwah*!! (A kiss for both of your cheeks. When in Rome... Or should I say France...?)
I was just reading chapter eight of this story last night, and I said to myself, "You know, it'll be just my luck that I have to wait for a very long time for chapter nine."
But no. Here we are! I saw your post on the forums, and I ran over here as quickly as I could. I wish to claim the spot of "first reviewer of this chapter!"
So, anyways... I've really come to love this story and your writing style. It's definitely fluffy, without being obnoxious, and it's glamourous without being narcississtic. Darcy is an awesome character, and for some reason, Albus is my favorite NextGen guy EVER. He's such a cutie.
The things that you've done well in this story: Ummm, everything? Your style is so unique; it seems to shine without overstating itself, and I can see everything happening, though I've never even been to London or Paris or anywhere special, really...
Albus' note made me laugh. Muggles are so stereotypical, aren't they? (I guess I'm one to talk, since I opened this review in such a stereotypical manner...) His shyness is so evident, but since he's realized his mistake, he's determined to fix it!! Darcy's coy little kiss was cute, too. "You've got something on your upper lip..." Classic cliche, made much less groan-worthy by your superior writing!!
And Lorcan is a smarmy git. Editing Darcy's article, my foot! He just likes to be in control (typical male, *coughcough*). I feel like he's either gay or anal retentive. Maybe both. But I love him for offering Darcy and Dominique a bigger workspace.
Of course, Lily and Rose were shoo-ins for the prize, but I thought that Scorpius was pretty suave. Rose seems to think so, at least!! You've given us Scorose, but in a much more subtle fashion than your run-of-the-mill Scorose-ity. Kudos! I'm enjoying this little budding bit of romance on the side!!
And even though you're writing in a world of glitz and glamour, you've managed to show us the other side, the side of the stylists, and how they might not be so glamourous as we might think. You're obviously really awesome for doing that! :)
P.S. Is it really almost over?! I wish it didn't have to end so soon... But I know that chapter ten will be every bit as good, if not BETTER than this one!
~UnluckyStar57Author's Response: Hah, yes, when in Paris! :)
Little makes my day more than when someone leaves a review that begins with "...I've been following this story for some time and I love it." It's so nice to hear that Darcy works okay as an OC and that you like my Albus. He's one of my favorite next-geners and I've always wanted to write one of those cute, fluffy stories where he falls in love. I have loved writing his and Darcy's mutual, at-times combative awkwardness and I will miss it when this story is over (tomorrow!!).
I'm glad you found Lorcan entertaining. He doesn't get written about much, I think, and I wanted him not to be a Rolf/Luna clone.
Scorpius may be one of my favorite parts of writing this chapter. I'm going to toy with him some more soon in a one-shot, so keep an eye out for it if you like Scorpius/Rose fics. He's just so over-the-top and silly, and the best part is that he takes himself seriously.
Oh, and it's great that you enjoyed getting the inside scoop of the world of Witch Weekly. I tried to make the glitzy parts interesting and not too detail-laden, and I hope I accomplished it. You're right; Darcy and Dominique definitely don't have it all together!
Thanks again for this really lovely review :)
-Amanda Report Review
Hahaha there Darcy was trying to focus on her walk and the girls walk, and Albus was just trying to get her talk. I can understand her bitter mood, and it would almost be odd if she didnít have one. Though I did feel a bit sorry for Albus due to her blatant attempts of trying not to talk to him, at least she agreed in the end.
Rose seemed different in this chapter, and it was a nice different. Usually she was just focused on herself and not much else, but in this chapter she seemed to be more concerned about the competition and how she could win it. She seemed more like her mother here, and it was a nice change. I think it was the whole bit about her brainstorming poses with Lily, as it just seemed like something Hermione would do.
Scorpius is a model? For some reason, he being one seems to work really well in my mind. I think itís because Lucius and Draco always seemed really vain, and I think if youíre a model you have to be rather vain to succeed so it works. And that was that mention about Rose liking him before, I wonder how this is going to turn out thenÖ
Then there was Dom fawning over him. I found it funny that the sole reason he was doing this was for good press, it just seemed like a strange way for getting it. Of course Rose would get all gutsy and go and to talk him! Rose and Scorpius are my guilty pleasure so this brightened my day! Then the way he was like perhaps we could do some work together, and Rose was getting all excited Ė it was so sweet. Haha and the way he reacted to her being Rose, and she was just like yeah I know who you are but I still like you. It was a nice show of over confidence not an annoying one.
Yay Dom is now on the Darcy/Albus side (I really need to come up with a ship name!)! I rather like that Albus is a closed sort of person, because that might explain why he didnít get his hopes up about that dinner, as he didnít want to be crushed. Dom must be serious if sheís considering family holidays for her to attend! Oh well, Iíll guess all will be revealed in that talk Albus wanted.
Another great chapter Amanda, and I canít wait to see what happens next!
-Kiana :DAuthor's Response: I'm glad you feel pulled in opposite directions with Albus and Darcy, and that you can identify with both of them. I kind of feel bad for torturing Albus like this, but Darcy has a lot of awkward to deal with, and she's not good at it.
I like to think that underneath her shallow nature Rose has a keen mind, one that has gotten her this far in her career and will take her even further. I like that you said she was like Hermione except that she puts her intellect to a different use other than school. It's probably a strength of hers that she looks girly and easily perturbed but is actually tough and smart underneath the exterior.
I think my Scorpius is somewhat inspired by Toujours_Padfoot's Le Scorp. He isn't quite as outlandish, but he does have that sort of vanity that allows him to put up blinders to everyone else if he so chooses. I thought he also had Draco's laziness and sense of self-importance :)
I love the Rose-Scorpius interaction because I see it as being a duel of two arrogant people. I imagine both of them walked away thinking that they had the upper hand in the end. They provide some good comic relief for me.
Dalbus? Alcy? No, I can't find one that I like, LOL. Yeah, Dominique is warming up to the idea that if someone is going to date one of her family members, it might as well be someone who she knows that she likes. Stay tuned to see what Albus wants to talk about :)
Thanks for another amazing review, Kiana!
-Amanda Report Review
I like this a lot! The reverse character traits are great: I like how Rose comes across as more shallow instead of Hermione-esque and the Potter boys and Dominique are the down to earth ones, while usually its the reverse. It would make sense that the next gen would be influenced by celebrity and beauty. Also, Darcy's family makes a very interesting sub-plot. Albus and Darcy would make a cute couple, and I'm excited to see where this leads. Great work!!! :)Author's Response: Thank you! I'm happy to hear from you :)
I try to mix up the cliches I see in other stories, just to make the characters more interesting. I'm not as well-versed in next gen cliches because I just don't read a lot of next gen, so I'm happy that these characterizations work for you and seem to buck the trends.
I'm glad you like Darcy, too! I like to think of her as just being a normal girl, struggling through young adulthood and trying to figure out the world as well as herself. It's great that you liked that tie into canon with the Cresswells, and that you're eager to see what develops between Darcy and Albus :)
Thanks for your lovely review!
-Amanda Report Review
I know that I originally said I didn't like Rose, but I'm growing to enjoy her more and more as the story develops. As always, you're making your characters multifacetted (I have no idea if that's a word in English), and it just makes them so much better to read about! The comment about coordinated complexions made me laugh, it's just so Rose.
I like the way you're touching on the developping link between Lily and Darcy -- is that supposed to smooth out the bumps there might be with Albus? Dom's input on the situation was nice to read about. I've discovered that I actually liked Dom in general, but having her portrayed as an always cheerful person, instead of a psychotic control freak is always a refreshing change.
I can't wait to read about their conversation, and see how things evolve between them! I also really want to find out about the outcome of the contest, and maybe see some Scorpius/Rose?
I think this chapter was my favourite so far, so I really can't wait for your next update!Author's Response: Hah, thanks! I sort of like Rose. Her personality can be too much at times, and yet I can identify with her frustration and general lack of patience with others at times. I think we all can :)
I just view Lily, like her namesake, as this positive force that can bridge gaps and make peace between people. She seems to really "get" her brother, and I think she's perceptive in terms of how he interacts with Darcy. She just wants all of them to be happy, poor thing.
I'm not terribly familiar with Dominique's particular set of cliches, but yeah, I just think of her like a normal girl. She's clearly more into the glam thing and working at the magazine than Darcy, but I don't think she's quite as shallow and appearance-obsessed as, say, Rose. She's sort of multifaceted, too.
Well, stay tuned! The ride isn't over yet, and you'll just have to see what happens in the next chapter. Glad you're still enjoying the story!
Thanks for your fantastic review, Val :)
-Amanda Report Review
It was interesting to see how much Rose concentrated on covering up all the flaws in her appearance. It seems as if she really does have some body image issues, she seemed to be trying to do it with so much precision for something which is usually an everyday task, so it kind of surprised me. Though you did mention earlier that she wasnít as pretty as Lily, so it may stem from that.
I really liked how we got to learn more about Lily in this chapter. It was funny to see her take charge of Albus even though he was meant to be their manager and older brother. She did seem to have a lot of useful advice though, and I guess it is a little too soon for him and Darcy. Though the way he kind of blew it last time, means that he will have to make it up with her. It was interesting to see him in such a decrepit state afterwards, as it implies that he was affected by it more than heís letting on.
I thought it was really interesting to learn more about the preparation for the cover shoot. Iím probably one of the few liking it so much, but it was interesting to make comparisons between that and muggle journalism and see how similar it is.
So Darcy still thinking about Albus then? It was rather sweet to her thoughts about him, as you could tell how much she had noticed his actions, especially his awkward smile. I guess they are kindred spirits in a way, as they both do seem not as accustomed to the world of fashion as the others do. I also liked Albusí reactions to certain things, and how much he seemed to be affected by some of Darcyís comments, I guess there is still hope on that front.
Another great chapter, and I will check out Post Scriptum, but I have a French and German speaking exam coming up, so it wonít be until after next Tuesday!
-Kiana :DAuthor's Response: Hello :D
I guess I hadn't really thought of it that way, but it makes sense that Rose could come across as having body issues, given her dedication to her appearance in this chapter. I think that adds a whole new layer to her!
I have kind of a soft spot for Lily II. She and Albus are my favorite next-gen characters (and maybe Scorpius). I think she can be very rational, and I wanted to emphasize that not all models are shallow and stupid. I also thought it would be good to show that Albus was feeling about as good about his evening with Darcy as Darcy was at the end of the last chapter. I think they both feel somewhat awkward around each other after their little "misunderstanding," and it will take some work from someone to get them back on track.
I think it's cool that you like it! I know nothing about journalism, so this is just my best guess at how the process might go. I feel like there would be a lot of stuff--fittings, photos, etc.--crammed into a few hectic weeks before the big event.
They are kind of like kindred spirits. Both volunteered to join this world, but neither feels entirely at home in it. I would say that there is definitely still hope for them yet :)
Thanks for your awesome review! You are so sweet for being willing to check out Post Scriptum, so please, take your time. (And good luck on your exams!)
-Amanda Report Review
I know I said I'd review chapter six, but then I lost my Internet connection and only got it back to find out chapter seven was up, sooo...
First of all, HAPPY (late) BIRTHDAY!
Rose is so much fun to read about. I can totally imagine her grumbling about waking up early and about having to wear rain boots, then snapping at Al to walk faster.
I know I've said this before, but I love the way you manage to make something that usually comes across as dull -- trying on dresses -- interesting and fun to read about. I'm surprised by Rose's change of attitude to Darcy, but I suppose it's because she's realised how much she means to Al?
Now, moving on to those two. They are way too cute for their good, and they need to stop being so shy! What do they need to understand their feelings, a poster?
Sorry if I sound a bit agressive... It's just that they're adorable, and I really want them to do something about it!
Another great chapter :)Author's Response: Thank you (wishes she could put a heart here)!
I think--or at least I hope--we can all identify with Rose from time to time. I think even the most low-maintenance people get fed up and frustrated when little things mess up their groove. I can't imagine being so high-strung as to complain as much as Rose does, though!
I was again worried that this would be a dull chapter, but I'm glad it wasn't for you. Rose and Darcy still aren't big fans of each other, but I don't think Rose notices Darcy enough to be honestly put off by her, haha. As you saw from the cafe scene, Rose isn't as vapid and shallow as she often seems, and she does care about her family, even if she bosses them around. Not sure if the crush is really obvious enough for Rose to pick up on it, but I would think that she would respect Albus's feelings and try to leave him alone somewhat.
Haha, that's fine! It will come, I promise. The next chapter, incidentally, is my favorite of all.
Thanks for another wonderful review :)
-Amanda Report Review
Really short review because I want to find out what happens next, but you need to know that I'm shipping Albus and Darcy as much as Helena and Venn or Cedric and Cho right now -- which is a lot!
Their awkwardness and shuffling around one another is really sweet to read about, albeit a little frustrating, but with the ending you treated us to I can't complain. I'm going to go read chapter six now, so you can expect a slightly more substantial review then :)Author's Response: That's so great! I'm happy to hear it :)
Relationships in real life can be awkward, so I felt like Darcy's relationship with Albus needed to have its hitches, too. They do have some really nice moments, though, or so I think.
Thanks for your lovely review, Val :)
-Amanda Report Review
Gillyweed again, reviewing partly for the review exchange and partly because this is an awesome story :D
I really love all the little details you put into your writing. Everything seems to have been created with such care, and because of that it adds a whole facet of realism to your writing. It's not just: the girls were found frolicking in the fountain, because you put in all the little tidbits that really make a story excellent instead of just good.
I really loved the memorial fountain idea... i don't know, it seems like a neat bit of wizard history to stick in there.
(also loving the DW reference ;)
As in the last chapter, you do a fantastic job of revealing and developing characters through action and dialogue as opposed to description. This makes your writing extremely readable and engaging.
I love the relationship between Al and Lily, though we don't see much between him and James or Rose, I assume that will come with time.
Another lovely chapter!
~GillAuthor's Response: Hi Gill! The February review exchange is actually over, since it ends at the end of the month, but it was very kind of you to come back for another chapter :)
Thanks! I do love my details, and I had fun recounting the events of the "frolicking incident" in a courtroom setting. It's great that you enjoyed seeing a bit of history show up with the fountain and also the Tardises show up in George's satellite shop :)
I am a big fan of "show, not tell." I get very annoyed when I read stories where people are like, "Here's my OC. She has brown hair and blue eyes and hates Transfiguration and is in love with James Potter." I much prefer stories where you slowly get to know the character as you follow the plot of the story, rather than getting all of it dumped on you at once. It's great that you enjoyed seeing that here.
If you decide to keep reading--and of course I hope you do--you'll get to see a little more about how Albus feels about Rose. James only plays a small part in this story, but I won't promise that he isn't discussed more later on.
Thanks for your very kind review!
-Amanda Report Review
I forgot that Darcy and Albus were meant to be going on a date, so when I saw that she was waiting in a restaurant, it suddenly clicked in my brain, and I got really excited, aw those two :í)
It was really sweet to see Darcy so nervous, as she usually appears rather cool and collected, so you wouldnít really expect her to be, but Iím guessing it was probably due to a certain someone she was having dinner with. It was also nice to learn a bit more about where/how she worked, I know it was only a little line, but it meant she became more of a person to me, but knowing that fact.
I got a little worried at the beginning of the date, and I think it was due to the description of the food, as that seemed to be mimicking their thoughts, and seemed as if that was more interesting than one another. It was nice that they started to talk, and you could see that Albus was trying to be perceptive with his mentions about her work, and how she worked.
It was interesting to learn more about Albusí work history, as it did always intrigue me why someone like him, would end up being an agent for some models. It was nice to see the mention from Hermione; of course she would give him such practical advice. I liked that you made him indecisve, as his parents always seemed to know what they were doing, and it was nice to see that this wasnít the case with him, as it showed we werenít carbon copies of them.
Ok so Albus made them share the bill, and then asked her for a walk. If heís going to do that, he should have offered to pay for the whole thing! It was nice to see them though, as we got to learn more about Darcyís character, through what she did, and why she worked at WW, as it makes her more identifiable.
Aw and then she asked him whether he had a girlfriend or not! And he said no, with a little smile, heís too cute! And I was getting all excited with Darcy about a possible kiss, then Albus had to go and crush my dreams! I didnít realise it was for work, as I assumed it was a social thing as well, and it was pretty shocking to find that out! Then the forced smile, and calling her Miss Cresswell, it was so formal and awkward, and I just wanted to hide behind my laptop, due to the awkwardness!
It was a really great chapter, and I canít wait to read the next and find out whatís going to happen with Albus and Darcy!
P.S. Thank you for the shout-out :D And the fluff was great ;DAuthor's Response: I really don't want to fall into the trap of Darcy always being cool and confident and Albus always being awkward and nervous. I specifically tried to switch things up in this chapter, especially compared with the last one, so as to make both characters feel human and appropriately complex. It's great that the mix-up seemed interesting to you.
It's good that you're enjoying getting to know Albus. I've gotten a lot of comments that people like Darcy, Dominique, Rose, and Lily--and even James--but I feel like as much has not yet been said for Albus. There are so many versions of Albus walking around on the archive, and so please don't hesitate to let me know how he compares to others you've seen, what you like, and what doesn't seem to fit.
I'm happy that the flow of the date convinced you that it was truly a social outing :) It was definitely a shock to Darcy to find out that she had gotten so nervous over a work outing. Her confidence is probably a bit dinged up, and Albus will need to work to win her back.
Thanks for another lovely review, Kiana! Next chapter will be up, as usual, next Sunday.
-Amanda Report Review
I absolutely love this idea! It's so fresh and original and I just want to read on and I am so annoyed that I don't have more time for reading fanfiction! Sometimes I wish I could just banish real life and live in my little world of fanfiction all day.
This was a brilliant first chapter, as you might have gathered from my little introduction there. I have to admit, the reason I chose to read this story was because of the models you chose to use on your banner (hehe) but I am so glad I have had the opportunity to read this! Darcy seemed like a real cool, unique character, as does Dom. I'm super interested to learn more about their working relationship and friendship. They seem to have more differences than similarities, and I wonder if they'll clash at all...
I really loved the mood of this chapter. It was so light and easy to read and just put a big huge smile on my face. I can't wait to see where this story goes next...all sorts of possibilities are flying through my mind right now!
Thanks for the awesome read. I think I might have to add this to my favourites now, and I will be back for more, as soon as possible.
Courtney:)Author's Response: Thanks, Courtney! When I was writing this, I kept looking around the archive for Witch Weekly stories because the idea didn't feel all that fresh to me. It's great that you feel like it's new and interesting and not like the norm.
Yeah, I chose those models carefully. Nicholas and Troian were in my head basically the whole time, and once you write a story with certain people in mind, you can't really switch it up for the banner, or so it seems to me. I'm really glad you like Darcy so far--writing OCs is so hard for me, and I worry that they'll fall flat. You'll get to know more about her relationship with Dom as the story progresses.
I really don't write fluff or next-gen. Gosh, so much of this story was an experiment for me! It's great to hear that you liked the light tone and felt like it was free and easy. I do hope you'll poke back by and read on at a later time. The next chapter will actually be up today. And thanks for the favorite, too! :)
Thank you for this fabulous review!
-Amanda Report Review
Hello again! :) I'm so glad I spotted you in the review battle - gives me a cast-iron excuse to ignore the work I'm supposed to be doing and come back to this instead.
I loved the little court scene. It's not like any court I've ever been to, but things work a lot different in terms of the legal system in the world of Harry Potter. The panel reminds me of when Arthur Weasley told Harry that his hearing in book 5 would be in Madam Bones' office and she'd be the one hearing him, you know? It's kinda like a tribunal, I guess, which makes sense since they're basically charged with being a bit stupid and having annoyed a few people, lol. But yes, as a law student, the little legal references made me smile :)
Ah, poor, poor Al. I get the feeling he's sort of being dragged around by them, with almost absolutely no interest in their lives and what they're actually doing at all. A quick question (this maybe a stupid question...): are Rose and Lily models or socialites? I'm not really sure at the moment - although I expect it'll be clearer the further on I read.
Your characterisation is, as always, phenomenal. I love how Lily is, in Al's opinion at least, sweet and kinda cute and can't do anything wrong (much) and how he can't refuse her things, and how Rose is the wilder of the two - and therefore probably more likely to be the ringleader.
I'm really curious to see how Rose, Lily and Al are going to tie in with Dominique and Darcy, and how Beauty Week is going to effect everything. What are their plans? They definitely have some... or if they don't, Al does and Lily seems to be developing some...
Poor James, as well. Yeah, pro bono work is good, but defending your sister and cousin because they were stupid is not something many people particularly want to have to do, I imagine... though I do like him as a lawyer. It's very different to the Quidditch star/Auror people always put him as.
Uncle George likes Doctor Who! Can he become more of a legend? :)
I'm so excited about reading the next chapter of this - it's such a shame that I don't have time to read it this evening, but I'll definitely put it on my list of things to read and keep an eye out for updates.
Aph xxAuthor's Response: Hey Aph! I was pleased that you tagged me in the Review Battle. You leave awesome reviews.
Yeah, it seems like wizards are a bit flexible with their legal practices, in terms of shifting magical law and deciding what to do with offenders. I know very little about the legal world, but it made sense that they wouldn't have a big, formal trial for a bit of frolicking.
Not a stupid question at all! They're technically models, just starting to make names for themselves in that world, but they have a socialite flair because they're famous by proxy of their parents. Does that make sense? I guess I sort of modeled their roles after that of the Kardashians or Hilton sisters. They're already famous, but they're trying to capitalize on that career-wise on their own.
Oh, I'm happy the characterization worked! Several people have commented that they like James as a lawyer, which is great, because it seemed unorthodox and yet fitting to me. Rose is definitely the ringleader, though part of Albus's job is trying to keep her reined in. You were right about Albus seeing Lily in a rosy light, and James does the same thing. One thing they can bond over as brothers is their need to keep an eye on their baby sister.
It's great to hear that you want to keep reading! A new chapter will be up today :)
Thanks for this lovely review!
-Amanda Report Review
asdjfhskldfjal THEY HAD ALONE DARBUS TIME :D That's right, i've already got ship names going ;) I kind of want to know why Dom was so insistant about Darcy not dating her family members. It seemed as if it was more than just ew, they're family. Anywhos, can't wait for your next update! (i only discovered this story earlier this morning and it's already been updated today. what the floop!) Ermahgerd, they're going out for dinner. even if they say it's completely business, it's totally a date ;) Love, love LOVE IT!
-Sankavi ^_^Author's Response: Darbus? Oh dear, we have a ship name! Haha :)
I think Dom was just bothered by the idea of her family taking in yet another person from the wizarding world. She probably gets sick of it being paraded around her all the time, and I would imagine that she wants it to stay out of her work life if possible. Still, I think she'd be happy for her friend if Darcy was really happy. (Hey, I couldn't have all the Potter-Weasleys be thrilled about having a big, famous family.)
This story is about halfway done and I post a chapter every Sunday. It's all pre-written, but I definitely appreciate input from reviewers, so please do continue to let me know what you think! Thanks for stopping by to review!
-Amanda Report Review
I was just checking my favourites, and saw this had been updated. I think this is one of the few next gen stories I actually get excited about it being updated, so congratulations for making that happen!
I really enjoyed having this chapter centred on Albus, it was a nice change, and I was really eager to see how he felt about being the girlís manager. I thought it was really sweet seeing how embarrassed he got about mentioned magic in muggle areas, Darcy seemed to be the complete opposite, and was rather unabashed about the whole thing.
I really like Darcyís character in this, thereís something about her, which draws people in. I think itís the fact that sheís confident in her views, yet she doesnít come across as too confident, meaning that sheís still relatable to people. I guess she was right about models never being their true self, as I can imagine it would be a very superficial world. I would definitely prefer Lily as well, she at least seems quite nice, and rather normal compared to Rose.
I liked learning more about Rose in this chapter, as it meant I could sort of understand her more. I think my favourite part was when Albus was talking about what she was like at school, I can just imagine her chasing Scorpius around, and Hermione being disappointed her daughter didnít have more interest in her work. It was also interesting that you didnít make her natural beauty, it sort of suggests the reason why she may be so superficial, is due to her insecurities about her looks. Lilyís a natural beauty, yet she seems to be more natural in character.
I loved the idea of the charity. When you first mentioned it, I got worried that Hagrid had died, or something bad had happened to him, and this was in remembrance of him. It did seem fitting what the aims of it were though, and it made me laugh imagining what the Draco and his cronies would have been like, if they had to do it until their seventh year.
I was quite surprised about the parents reaction to them being models. I would have thought Hermione would be the one wanting them to have a backup, not Ginny. It was quite a funny thought, Hermione leafing through magazines and cutting out pictures of Rose.
The last line you left me! Wah! So exciting! I love those two, so if they got together, it would just be brilliant! It was another excellent chapter, and I really canít wait to read the next :D
-Kiana!Author's Response: I'm happy you liked getting to know Albus a little bit better! I do like to think of him as being somewhat easily embarrassed and still trying to figure himself out. While Darcy isn't completely free of insecurities, on the outside she seems to be less self-conscious than Albus in this story. She's confident and smart, but not overly so, and like I said, she has moments just like everyone else where it's like, "What was I thinking?!" Haha.
I think my Rose is a good person at heart, but she definitely thrives on drama and being in the spotlight. A guy like Scorpius would be perfect for her, if he wasn't too busy being a bit stuck on himself. She's sharp like Hermione, but she doesn't just pour it into her books. She uses it more for "street smarts."
Hah, no, Hagrid's just the founder of the charity :) Of course, the Potter-Weasleys wouldn't hesitate to help him out, considering all that he did for Harry and the Order.
It's great that the reactions of the parents were somewhat unexpected. I figured Ginny would want something a little more practical for her daughter, but she and Hermione would definitely be supportive in my mind, as would Harry and Ron (though I can picture Ron rolling his eyes and muttering quite a bit).
Thanks for this wonderful review! I'll be back to respond to your other one shortly :)
-Amanda Report Review
Gillyweed here from the TGS review exchange!
Sorry for the atrocious delay, I was on vacation for the past week and I just got your lovely review today, so I've come to return the favour.
This is an excellent beginning to your story. You have a talent for creative description that you really show towards the beginning of the chapter and which makes your story much more engaging. Also, this is a fantastic exposition to the story, as you really show the day to day life of your characters before delving into the plot-worthy sensational stuff.
You give us a lot of information in the first half of this chapter- about your characters, setting, everything, but without dumping one of those cumbersome intro paragraphs, you know the kind "I'm Darcy, I'm this many years old, I live here, I work here and I absolutely love cats!" etc. etc.
The way you introduced everything was much more subtle, just sneaking information in between action.
There are only a few slight issues that i found in the chapter: One is a possible overuse of the comma, but that's really just nitpicking and people have been known to argue all day about commas. Another is that just at the beginning I felt a bit barraged by all of the descriptions you gave us. While providing detail is essential to the story, especially the introduction, I felt that it was all a bit concentrated whithin the fourth and fifth paragraphs.
I loved this first chapter and now you have successfully gotten me hooked on yet another brilliant story. I love that quip about her office life turning into a triwizard tournament, it seems very true! xD
I'm very excited to see where this plot will go!
Sorry again for the delay,
-GillAuthor's Response: Hey! Thanks for the exchange :)
It's great to hear that you liked falling right into Darcy's day-to-day life and getting to know her through her actions. "Show, not tell" is a big thing that I like to emphasize when I review other people's stories, and so it was important to me to walk the talk here in my own work, as always. I also like the style of just dropping into the middle of the scene as opposed to working too hard to set it up from the very beginning.
You're right, commas are a very divisive issue! I know what you mean about too many, though I did try to use them appropriately (or at least correctly) here. Stories where commas are needed and not used tend to annoy me a little, so maybe I went into overdrive.
I do try to make my descriptions seem natural, so I'll have to go back and take a look at what you were talking about. Like with so many things, it's a work in progress for me.
Thanks again for your kind review!
-Amanda Report Review
I thought I would try and get up to date on The Middle Man, so Iím at least ready for the next update for one of them! I will be back to Diamonds into Coal and Yellow soon though!
I see what you mean about Evelynís pessimistic attitude! She did sound rather formidable, with her being so annoyed at Darcy for being late, and getting worried over the tea being cold! Why do Grandmaís always as about boyfriends? Itís like I have no time to have one with school and exams, so leave me alone! I think itís just a common trait for all of them.
Ooh so Darcy was affected by meeting Albus then? I love how Evelyn took it, with all her musing about it, and finally saying the Potters are a good family. I see Darcyís got her approval then. Then that bit about her having to get a move on as her Grandma wonít live forever was really cool.
Iím surprised that the fact that Darcyís surname was Cresswell didnít click in my head. I liked that you tied her into Dirk, as it added more to her character, and it seemed as if it made her fit the whole world of Harry Potter even more.
I liked the little make up, mainly due to Albus smiling at Darcy. Then Rose being haughty as ever! Especially that remark about Darcy being a fresh pallete, I was just yaying for her in my head. That little line about the post war surge in red hair dye made me laugh! I guess itís inspired by the Weasleys and possibly Lily Evans?
Another great chapter!
Kiana:DAuthor's Response: Have I told you lately how wonderful you are? :D (I have a feeling that Team Blue is going to rock the next review battle... haha.)
It's good that Evelyn seemed to fit into what you'd imagine for a typical grandmother. She was tough, not because I don't have grandmothers who do the same things, but because the tone of her story is different from the overall light feel of the rest of the plot. Her role was mostly to give some more background to Darcy and show her kind side, since I think most of what people have seen is her being hurried, infatuated by Albus, and annoyed by Rose.
I always like to have some kind of tie to canon if I can. I don't know exactly when or how I decided that Dirk would work well here, but it's great that you felt like it added to the story.
I'm glad you liked the make-up scene! I'm a little worried that all the fashion-y scenes at Witch Weekly will drag for some people, so let me know if that happens. Yeah, I figured that Weasley fever would set in after the war, given Harry's relationship with Ginny and the heroic roles so many of the Weasleys played.
Thanks for another lovely review :)
-Amanda Report Review
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