slowly but surely i have been reading this and i love it. i love that oliver is now a part of the story :)
i can't wait to see what comes next!
~MAuthor's Response: Hello there! I'm always happy to hear from people reading my work, so it's great that you stopped by to leave a comment! Thank you!
I'm glad you feel like Oliver fits well and you liked seeing him at the bottom of that staircase. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story :)
Thanks again for your kind review!
-Amanda Report Review
i like this so far. it's different, and interesting, and i'm looking forward to reading more!
~MAuthor's Response: Thank you! I hope you do :)
-Amanda Report Review
This is the last chapter? Wah! I've loved getting my Cho/Cedric fix , and I'll have to find it somewhere else now :(
You could almost tell it was coming to an end at the beginning of this chapter as it had this sense of optimism we hadn't seen in a while with them being able to have wine and Cedric being able to have fresh air. It was nice to end it on a happier note though :')
Then there was that feeling of horror when Cho's told that he's going to be leaving. My hopes began to dash a little as I was getting all excited for some fluff and t
Yay for fluff and Cedric being a charmer though. He was it was sweet when he was talking about wanting to see her again and that he would miss her. I was satisfied with that and then there was that hug and yay for Cho going to kiss him.
It was just a perfect ending to this lovely story. I'm so glad that I read this as it was beautifully written and so unique! I'm sorry if you find a load of typos in this, I'm writing it on
A phone which hates me :/
-Kiana :DAuthor's Response: I'm glad you picked up on the "calm before the storm" atmosphere in the first few paragraphs of this chapter. Things are starting to look up for Cho and Cedric, and yet there is the need to have that bittersweet goodbye and transition.
I'm happy to hear that you liked Cho and Cedric as a couple in this story and found all their fluff tolerable :D It was important to me to have Cho seal the deal with that kiss at the end, given that Cedric made the first move before and got rejected and I've been building Cho up as a more headstrong character.
Thanks for this fabulous review, Kiana, and all of your reviews. They mean the world to me.
-Amanda Report Review
What? But I wanted to see more!
I cannot possibly say enough how much I liked Cho and Cedric in this story, and though it ends on a hopeful note, I'm actually a bit disappointed because I was hoping for an entirely happy ending.
This was my favourite line: A car was slowly chugging up the road, struggling somewhat with the sharp curves and the growing incline of the hill.
Allow me to fawn over your description once more. This whole scene took place in my head, and I saw every single little detail -- it was beautifully written, and the flow was perfect.
My romantic half is throttling my other half right now, because I do like the ending: you give a sense of closure and continuity at the same time, if that makes sense.
However, I'm wondering if you'd consider writing a sequel? I feel like this could do with another chapter for some reason, probably only because I love your take on these characters!
I can't believe I won't be able to look forward to this anymore... It's the first time I finish one of your WIPs while having read it from the start, and I feel kind of empty now.
Oh well. I can still stalk your author page!
Brilliant final chapter &hearts
(Seriously though, I want a sequel).Author's Response: Hey, I still consider it a happy ending. Cedric is healed and on his way back home to his family, Cho is still working on doing lots of good for other soldiers, and there is the promise of them having a relationship down the line when the war is over. I don't like to write "ride off into the sunset" endings all that much. I'm glad you still sort of liked this one.
To be honest, I haven't contemplated writing a sequel. I really didn't think people would like it that much, haha. I never rule out the possibility of returning to a finished plot and writing a second part, but for now, I don't have any intentions of doing so. It does mean a lot to hear that you'd be interested in one.
Thanks for this and all of your incredibly kind reviews, Val. They inspire me to write on.
-Amanda Report Review
I loved Cho's introduction in this chapter. While she does appear to be shy at first, there's this eagerness about her too. I remember you mentioned something along those lines in your Featured Story interview and I can see it now. She genuinely seems to care about what she's doing there in spite of the experience thus far, not being what she pictured it to be. Hee, she found Cedric's chart at the end. I like that you ended it there because there's absolutely no response from her (yet!). It leaves your audience guessing as to how she will take this. I assume she might recognise the name from Hogwarts :D Given that your chapters aren't very long, I can grasp more about her from her reaction.
The name Miriam is a good choice for this nun, she's a bit spicy and I love it. She's also a bit maternal too, she reminds me a bit of Madam Pomfrey actually.
Great chapter as always :)
LiaAuthor's Response: Hi Lia! I'm pleased to hear from you again.
It's great to hear that Cho's characterization is coming out well. She needs some time to get her feet wet, but she grows into her new role efficiently. Cho doesn't actually recognize Cedric from Hogwarts, but they do find some kinship in each no longer being the only magical person in the hospital, and they'll get to know each other over the course of the story.
Miriam was one of my favorite characters in this story. I based her a bit off McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey and basically all the strong, no-nonsense women I want to be like. You're right, she has a soft side under all that.
Thanks for your kind review!
-Amanda Report Review
Hello Amanda! I've been curious about this story for some time, so taking advantage that there are several chapters posted already, I'll start reading it :)
Yours is the first chapter that will be submitted to my new "reviewing process". I have a tendency to gush a lot and be really excited, offer a lot of praise but not enough constructive criticism, or if I can't think of any CC, at least offer some helpful opinions on the piece, which is kind of sad because writers are always looking to improve. So I am now trying to make my reviews more helpful. Hope it works!
I was very surprised by the setting of the story. Even if the first chapter takes place in a hospital wing (or at least some sort of medical facility), the wide setting is World War 1. I am very excited to find out how Muggles got mingled with wizards during that time and what are the roles Cho and Cedric will play in the grand scheme of things. I think you took a bold choice in writing this AU, but if all goes well it will be even more worth the praise :)
I appreciate that your started off the story with a more internal conflict. Chapter 1 reveals us Cedric's own musings on war and we share his home longing, which I think is a great way of introducing a character, take a peek into his feelings, explore more of his thought process, in a few words, get to know the character better.
I also thought you handled the scenes very well. Even if Cedric barely opens his eyes, your choice of auditory words allowed us to see with out own eyes his surroundings. However, I've always thought you handled the delivery of scenes in a very captivating and vivid way, so there is no surprise there.
I am looking forward to see how all of this develops!Author's Response: Hey, good for you! I think it's always good to try to put some critique into your reviews, as long as it's founded, but it's a good habit to practice delivering criticism respectfully and clearly. So please, don't hesitate to say what you feel to me!
I'm pleased that you like the setting. My favorite way of writing AU is just to drop canon characters into a new setting and see what happens with each of them. I really enjoyed twisting magical and Muggle medicine in this story, and it was fun to follow Cedric and Cho along on that journey.
The first chapter of this story is still one of my favorites. It's not much in the way of plot, but I think it's important to give people some of Cedric's perspective given that so much of the story is about what happens TO him. Cho gets a lot more head-space time comparatively.
Imagery really dominated this chapter, and I think that's part of what made it so fun to write. Keeping his eyes closed made it so that I had to use senses other than vision for part of the time, which is a suggestion made by a reviewer on another story, so I'm happy that worked out okay. I'll try to practice it more.
Thanks for your great review :)
-Amanda Report Review
I liked that conversation between Oliver and Cho it was just so nice and friendly. It was a good contrast to see something so light hearted compared to the horrors of war weíre used to seeing in this story. I guess itís that glimmer of hope often found in war.
That hope was seen between them again when they were discussing the potion before going in. I was so excited for them too, because finding this would make a massive difference to the war effort, and theyíve discovered a new potion which is exciting enough on itís own! Then there was Cho being hopeful that she would make it back to school to sit her OWLs.
It was really interesting to find out the process of publishing (I couldnít think of a better word!) a new potion. I was nervous for them when they were talking to the committee. I felt proud of Cho on how she could answer their questions. There seemed to want to interrogate her a lot with questioning where she was based, and what she had to do with the potion.
I could see why Hermione was campaigning so hard for elf rights. It must have been horrible for them to be subjected to all those potions, and for the animals too. Then poor Oliver getting into trouble for only wanting to save someone. I almost thought his whole career was going to be over then.
The hope appeared again at the end of the chapter when they got the go ahead to do trials on the potion. I canít wait to see how this develops! I really enjoyed this chapter though, and it was interesting to see other aspects of the war other than on the ward :)
-Kiana :DAuthor's Response: It's great that you get a glimmer of hope from the interactions between Cho and Oliver. I wanted to capture the excitement of scientific discovery and attempt to show that something positive could come out of the horror of war.
Maybe patenting is the right word? I don't know exactly. It's great that you could see Cho's strength shining under the pressure of the doctors' questioning. I'm also glad you picked up on the elf rights issue--after I wrote this, I started to wonder where the ethical lines would be during this time and how wizarding medicine might parallel that of Muggles. I would sincerely hope that elves were not still subjected to experimentation during Harry's time.
Thanks for your fantastic review! Hope to see you again soon for the tenth and final chapter!
-Amanda Report Review
Ah, a change of scene! And a very good one too! :D This chapter was an excellent addition to your story, introducing not only the potion alluded to in the summary (perhaps it is - there could be more potions on the way :P) as well as another canon character. It was a delightful surprise to find Oliver Wood in that basement laboratory, just as it was to see a Miss Bell in charge of reception at St. Mungo's. I'm glad to see those two there, and I'll keep my eyes peeled for whoever else you might venture to include. ;)
Cho could have explained to Miriam about apparation, but now that I think about it, it probably would have caused Miriam considerable worry. If Cho can zap herself to London and back in seconds, what kind of people could magically appear in the hospital? Would Miriam try to take advantage of Cho's magic to ensure that the patients have enough supplies? I see some interesting problems on the horizon for Cho if she continues to go back and forth to London like this - she may have gotten away with it once, but with that ending, I have a feeling that Miriam won't let it pass by so easily next time. Though I would guess that Miriam knew from the beginning that Cho's family didn't live nearby, but if so, then why send Cho away? Is Miriam orchestrating this whole thing in a subtle, Dumbledore-esque way? It adds another interesting note of suspense to this story, and develops the Muggle-Magical aspect of the plot quite nicely. I have to admit that it's my favourite aspect of this story. It's hard to come across a story that explores it in such an exciting way.
Sorry if this review is a little rambling and unstructured - if there's anything specific that you'd like me to comment on in regard to this story, please let me know! I'm really enjoying reading this story! It's a original, wonderfully written, and keeps me wanting more - what else can a reader ask for? :DAuthor's Response: Hi Susan! I'm pleased to see another review from you :)
I'm so happy you like seeing familiar faces pop up. To me, that's half the fun of these true alternative universe stories--looking at where I could insert a canon character and how the situation would interact with his or her personality. I like including them in small ways, like with Katie, and also making them front and center (in a way), like Oliver here. So yes, please do keep those eyes peeled!
I think Miriam, for all her tolerance, could get easily overwhelmed with magic, just as you would expect from the average Muggle. Cho has to try to navigate the delicate balance between using magic to help and not revealing too much of a world that is supposed to be hidden. I think it's a quite literal way of looking at the "do no harm" part of medical work. I think that's part of why Cho is so nervous about getting Cedric's wand; she wants to make him happy, and yet she doesn't know what foolish thing he might do with magic when he's on his medication or just has a moment or two of impulsivity. She's really in a tough position in this story, but I figured that was part of giving her a chance to shine and giving her some credit for her intellect. After all, she is a Ravenclaw student!
I will definitely let you know, and I'm glad you're enjoying it. At this point, any and all comments you have to provide are welcome. Speaking of wonderfully written AU fics, I really need to pop back over to Pride and Pestilence now that I see a new chapter posted. Hopefully you'll hear from me soon :)
Thanks for this lovely review, Susan!
-Amanda Report Review
This is a very nice chapter! I was surprised by how upbeat it was, which makes it refreshing for a war-story and for many of the dramas that I've been following lately. That's why I couldn't resist using the word "nice" to describe this chapter. :D
Not that everything was happy - you still include enough reminders of the serious nature of the characters' circumstances that even though positive things are happening, it's impossible to forget that there's a war going on outside. That food won't last forever, and you also find a way of reminding readers that any of the patients could die at any time - most of them probably won't make it through the war, unless they're very lucky. Indeed, the Muggle patients in this story are lucky because of the magical help they're receiving. Is this the case in all the war hospitals in the world of your story? Or is it limited to a certain few hospitals?
I love the inclusion of the two European soldiers because so often in WWI stories, it seems like the English are the only ones there for some reason (which is always frustrating to see). It's good that Cedric is trying to communicate with the other patients - it's healthy for him and it means readers get the benefit of seeing more the hospital and learning more about the world you've shaped. :) That awkward silence between the three of them, though - it was perfectly done. It felt natural and right - all three understand that it could have been them, and it could be them next. Their lives are constantly at stake, and that must really be a difficult weight to bear.
There is one aspect of this chapter that I wasn't sure about, and that was the fact that Cedric doesn't seem to have problems swallowing the food even though his throat his sore. When one has strep throat, it hurts to eat to solid food, especially something as solid as roast beef and cheese, so you might want to adjust the descriptions in that scene. The beans would be easier for him to swallow, but that sandwich might pose a problem.
Anyway, I'll see how far I can get with this story tonight. It's an immensely enjoyable read and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next. ^_^Author's Response: Thanks, Susan! Happy to see you back!
In my view, the statute of secrecy is still being enforced, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I can imagine a select few witches and wizards sitting down with Miriam and some other Muggles and saying, okay, look, we need to do something to make sure our people are being well cared for here. We have tools that can help you. I don't think anyone would ever formally say that it was fine to use potions on Muggle patients, though. More like a collaborative effort.
Anyway, I'm happy that you can still see the remnants of war behind the somewhat pleasant day-to-day narrative. People are dying, inside and out of the hospital, and the supply could run dry any day now. It's like when people write Marauder stories and leave out the war entirely--I just couldn't do that.
It's great that you liked Andre and Fjodor! They were just meant to add a bit of levity and variety, as you observed, and to allow Cedric to make some friends besides Cho. I'm sure he misses his friends from Hogwarts...
You make an excellent point. I've had strep throat and I know just how unpleasant that would be. I'll make a note to go back and edit that a little once the whole story is posted--at least make it so that Cho has to cut up the food into teeny, tiny shreds, or look up some alternative historically appropriate foods.
Thanks again! Hope you enjoy the rest!
-Amanda Report Review
I'm worried about the stomach ache though, and I hope it's not a major side effect of the potion because I swear that if something happens to Cedric I will cry.
Miriam makes me laugh. The way she referred to Cedric as Cho's lover boy was fun to read, I'm surprised Cho wasn't more embarrassed at the comment though! I'm not surprised she's suspicious of Cho, and I found that her questions about magic made her even more realistic. The only thing that I wonder about is the statute of secrecy: does it not come into order because of the war, or does Miriam have a particular reason for being allowed to know about magic?
I wonder what'll happen with Oliver and Cho's correspondance -- I've got a bit of a bad feeling about it (this seems to be a regular occurence when I read your stories, huh).
In any case, this was another lovely chapter, particularly with Cho wondering if Cedric is angry because of her reaction to the kiss, and Cedric grieving for Neville (brilliantly done, for the record).
I can't wait for your next update!Author's Response: D'aww. Don't worry, Cho's taking good care of him :)
I think Cho would have been more embarrassed, except she's still hanging out on Cloud Nine a little bit with the return of Cedric's voice. I think Miriam knows what's up with the wand, but hopefully she wants to just leave the lovebirds alone for a while longer.
In my opinion, the statute is still technically being enforced, but the fact that this is a desperate time has called for people to try to find ways to work together. I would imagine that some witches and wizards found a way to work with Miriam in order to do what they could to ensure the hospital ran smoothly and that the wizarding patients were being helped. I don't think it would be realistic for anyone to give full-on endorsement to use magical medicine to treat Muggle patients, though.
Yes, I sense that! Well, keep an eye on Oliver and Cho. You haven't seen the last of them yet. Oliver is going to be important very soon.
Thank you so much for the lovely review, Val!
-Amanda Report Review
Hi Amanda, guess what? I'm back again!
I want to just cuddle grieving!Cedric :P And argh, he spoke, dear God! I'm worried now, I hope that's not the end of 'Yellow' just yet... I loved though how Cedric's first words were "It's a war.", you'd have thought he'd have noticed by now :P I joke ;) I also liked the part where Miriam asked about Cedric's wand, I wonder if she'll ever catch onto the fact that he has it with him? I hope she doesn't confiscate it all over again, the poor guy just got his voice back! And the communication with Oliver at the end- does that mean we get to see some more Wood in the coming chapters? I wish it does ;)
Girl, you have me hooked with this story :PAuthor's Response: Haha, good, he needs a cuddle! I'm sort of hoping that the realization of his voice returning will take away from the awkwardness between them somewhat.
I think Miriam knows more than she's letting on, but hopefully she'll let it be and allow Cedric and Cho to keep working on what is best for Cedric's recovery.
Oliver will pop up again. I'm glad you like him!
Thanks for your fantastic review :)
-Amanda Report Review
Hey Amanda! Gah I loved this chapter :D I feel quite useless, leaving gushing reviews without the hint of a critique, but I cannot fault you at all :P I loved the kiss between Cedric and Cho, it was cute, awkward and completely realistic ;) I laughed at the part where Cedric had to write down an "I'm sorry." instead of speaking it. But he's getting better! Oliver's potion is working, yay :D I also loved the part between Cedric, Seamus and Dean. No war is without its casualties, and although it's depressing to hear that Neville won't be making an appearance, it adds realism and makes me buy into the whole WWII situation even more.
Going on to chapter 8 now :DAuthor's Response: Hi Aisha, thanks for stopping by :)
That's okay; I love gushing reviews. If you ever do have critique, please don't hesitate to drop it in the box, but if not, I can't complain! Haha.
I liked the awkward kiss. I felt like it would be this moment-by-moment accidental thing. The situation isn't conducive to planning or overt romantic gestures. Poor Cedric probably felt like it was the most natural thing in the world to cross the boundary in their building friendship and thank her for her compassion.
It's great that you liked the introduction of Cedric's fellow soldiers. The purpose there was definitely to dwell on the grim reality of war and to pause for a moment and think about how Neville won't return to Hogwarts and finish up his schooling when it's all over.
Thanks for your sweet review :)
-Amanda Report Review
I thought this story has a great concept. It's not the first time I've read about wizards being caught up in a war on the same side as the muggles, and historical fiction holds a spot very dear to my heart. If you haven't read 'The Traveller's Secret' then maybe you can whenever you have the time. Anyway, on to the review.
I like how you wrote this first chapter. Did you use stream of consciousness here? That's how it felt when I read it - very back and forth. When I got to the end and realised where Cedric was, everything came together then and it almost blew my mind a little bit. That was honestly really, really well done. At the moment, he wasn't quite there, perhaps drifting in and out of consciousness and nothing was quite clear to him...as if he was in a fog.
I like how you mixed his memories to give us an idea of what was going on, no matter how brief they were. Considering they came to the forefront in such a vulnerable time, I suspect we'll be seeing more of them. Less is more. It speaks about the realities of some things too - the drafting process, dropping out of school, the possibility of not living long enough to survive it.
I'm really jealous at your description here, it's very vivid but at the same time, it's not overwhelming. It also suits the tone of the story (another aspect of it I like) as well as the theme. War is such a sensitive and brave topic to tackle when writing. But it's not always about the fighting, I guess it's about the people and how they deal.
This has given me a lot to think about. I think you've done a good job so far :)
LiaAuthor's Response: Hi Lia! Thanks for stopping by for the exchange :) I swear, your one-shot is on my to-do list. It'll get done over the weekend for sure, and that's if I don't find time to do it during the week.
"The Traveller's Secret", hmm? I'll have to check that out sometime. Thanks for the rec!
It's SoC-like, I guess. That was sort of what happened. I just wanted to kind of let Cedric's senses drag me around and go where they wanted to, to ensure that the reader would really feel like he or she was getting the information as he would perceive it. That's probably why you're getting the sense that it was a little foggy and disorienting, as it would be for someone in this kind of situation. I wanted it to drive the conclusion home hard, so I'm glad you were happy with the way the chapter wrapped up. This first one is still one of my favorites in this story.
The memories served two purposes for me: one, they were meant to remind people of the reality of war, as you mentioned--Cedric is still just a young man who is clearly in way over his head, no matter how brave or prepared he thinks he is--and two, they were meant to show his emotion in these moments. He's hurting and he misses home and he doesn't like not knowing where he is or why he ended up here. You can imagine that making a friend might help ameliorate that :)
I do think a lot of the fascinating parts of war-based stories are the psychological ones. Now, I'm obviously biased, but I like seeing people at their most and least resilient, and watching how their desperate situations affect them and change them--for better or worse. I'm proud of the imagery in this chapter, and I'm pleased to hear that you enjoyed it, too.
Thanks for your fabulous review, Lia!
-Amanda Report Review
Poor old Cho, getting worried that he was really hurt about her reaction to the kiss. I thought that was the case too, as it seemed like it would be something Cedric would, as he always seemed more like the silent protestor than more vocal one. I liked the little notes that he wrote to her, there were just so sweet and it was so romantic, even though Cedric is now cured Iíll be sorry to see them go.
I liked Choís little observations of Cedric such as seeing the blonde in his hair from the light. It just shows how much she had been looking at him, and noticing him. It gave me some nice fuzzy Cho and Cedric feels.
I thought you wrote Cedricís grief over Neville excellently. You could really sense the sorrow he was feeling, and over his other friends too. I could understand why he wouldnít want to talk about it, because I suppose he must be feeling some levels of guilt that he survived and Neville didnít. At least he was trying to be rational about it by saying that everyone got hurt in it. And it made him speak! That seemed to boost his spirits considerably, and he just seemed to have this spark in him when he realised that.
Miriam was great! It would have been funny if a wand did have funny affects if it had ended up in the hands of muggle, and they somehow managed to do a spell, the consequences of it all would have been dreadful. Of course she would have her suspicions about Cho, I already knew that she must know more by calling Cedric, Choís lover boy. I doubt that Cho will reveal anything as we saw how much the wand meant to Cedric and it would be mean to take it away.
That letter sounded just like Oliver, I think it was the use of the word smashing it just seemed like a very Oliver word. It is getting exciting though, with Cedric now beginning to recover, and then possibly taking the potion to St Mungoís. With Cedric recovering though, it makes me wonder what will happen to Cho and Cedric once he leaves. Hopefully thatís still far off.
Another excellent chapter Amanda!
-Kiana :DAuthor's Response: Hey Kiana!
Aww, I'm glad you liked Cedric's notes. They were obviously a necessity for him while he was without the use of his voice, but I like that you read a little bit of sweetness into the gesture. Like any young man, Cedric has his share of pride, and I'm sure it hurt a bit to be rejected after having built up somewhat of a relationship with Cho, even just a platonic one.
I wanted to give the sense that Cho pays as much attention to Cedric as he does to her. Their affection for each other is mutual.
Yeah, I think Cedric definitely has some survivor's guilt. He probably wishes he had been back on the battlefield to help his friends. I'm happy you can see how he got so emotional and liked how it climaxed in the surprising realization that he could speak again.
Miriam seems like one of those old ladies who would have eyes in the back of her head. She knows that Cho dotes upon Cedric, and I'm sure she can put two and two together. Thankfully, if she knows something, she seems unwilling to spoil it for the two of them, especially given that it seems to help them both (giving Cho a renewed sense of purpose and Cedric a few bright moments each day).
I love 'smashing', so I'm glad you did, too :) As for the pace of the story, stay tuned. There are still some significant moments remaining.
Thanks for your lovely review!
-Amanda Report Review
WAHYAYAYAYAWAH! THEY KISSED! Even though it was really chaste, and Cho didnít even kiss back, it was the biggest development in their relationship so far. I was wondering whether something would happen due to Cedricís observations of her beforehand, as they seemed pretty intimate to me, then the kiss came along and it was great. It was just so unexpected, and you couldnít predict it happening, I think Cho felt that too!
Then Dean and Seamus appeared and it was great. Dean reminded us that war does have a lot of bad consequences for some, with him being in the wheelchair, and it slightly tinged the fluffy mood I was in from the kiss scene. When Cedric met a slightly sadder face, it made me want to cry. That brief description seemed to convey so many emotions, and I just couldnít help but pity Dean.
Seamus and Dean seemed like such good friends, and you seemed to show how deep their friendship was due to the unconditional love they seemed to have for one another. I donít think many best friends would be willing and able to look after someone who had lost their foot and was now wheelchair bound, so it was lovely to see Seamus take up that role.
Then poor Neville, when I heard that, I think tears actually appeared. The way Seamus described Nevilleís death though, it seemed fitting that he went in that way, as Neville had turned into a true hero by the end of the books, and that was reflected by his death. Iím guessing the nurse was Hannah Abbott, and her dropping the tray of food was in response to Nevilleís death?
I am really enjoying the mixture of muggle medicine and magic, it just makes it so much more interesting to read, and it shows what possibilities there could be if you could combine the two. It was another excellent chapter Amanda!
Happy Birthday again, and I think I will read Post Scriptum, as it sounds really interesting :í)
-Kiana :DAuthor's Response: Cho definitely was not expecting to be kissed. I'm happy that it was unexpected and yet you could sense a lead-up to the moment. The pacing here is pretty slow, since they don't know each other that well, but I couldn't resist including a little romantic moment in this chapter.
I wanted to return readers to the real mood of war in this chapter. Cedric actually has it pretty easy, compared to his comrades. I think it's not only sad that four formerly young, healthy boys have lost so much to the war, but also that poor Cedric has to hear the news after the fact when he's unable to help. I'm sure it really broke his heart.
I think it's great that you focused on Dean and Seamus's friendship. They seemed like best friends in canon and I couldn't think of a more appropriate pair to include in these roles. It's nice when readers can pick out the nice side of a really tragic, sad chapter.
Hannah's appearance was just meant to be an allusion to canon, not a direct reference to her relationship with Neville, but I can see how you could pick that out based on her actions. I'm happy you found Neville's death fitting, though.
Thanks so much, Kiana, for the birthday wishes and the sweet review! I would love to get your feedback on Post Scriptum :D
-Amanda Report Review
It was strange, sitting inside and observing the change of the seasons rather than living it day by day as he stepped out for each Quidditch practice and game. At least he was comfortable, though. The ache in his throat had dulled since his last attempt at using his voice. His stomach hurt a little, though he couldn't tell whether it was from having to miss breakfast that morning or if it was an effect of Choís potion.
You have such a beautiful way of describing the most simple things. Ooh, so Cho's potion does seem to have worked! And of course, boys and food.
As she leaned forward to replace the bandage over a cut on his collarbone, he boldly moved closer and placed a kiss on her cheek. Cho blushed heavily, shocked at the contrast between the warmth rising beneath her skin and the cool, soft touch of his lips. She turned her head to the side, accidentally brushing those lips with hers as she tried to flee from him.
Yes! Chodric (I have no idea what to name this pairing) action! I can't help but spot the similarity with Diamonds into Coal, because in both cases your male characters do something that's not entirely socially acceptable -- and of course I adore those moments! Cho feeling awkward is adorable, and a nice change to the bold, daring person we've seen previously -- after all, she's only a girl.
Poor Dean! I love the way you keep reminding us that this is a war, even if it means putting innocent characters that we love through suffering.
Neville, boo. I'm assuming Hannah dropped the tray because she heard? I'm inevitably drawn back to your one-shot that I read the other day, so I feel even more miserable for Neville.
Hmm. I wonder about Seamus' reaction.
I'm really waiting for chapter eight! &heartsAuthor's Response: Hah, thanks! I'm glad you like the description.
I don't know that I'm satisfied with Chodric, but it's usually what I default to for Cho/Cedric :) (Cedro? No, not much better.) I do think a lot of my stories end up paralleling each other, though it's not really intentional. I'm happy you like seeing multiple dimensions of the main characters--Cedric breaks out to kiss the girl at last, and Cho reacts nervously. You're right, it does seem to be a contrast.
I actually just meant for Hannah's appearance to be a small testament to canon rather than a direct reference to Neville's death, but I can definitely see how you could pick out a pairing there. As for Seamus, he's still suffering from the trauma he experienced at war, even off the battlefield.
Thanks for your amazing review!
-Amanda Report Review
Wow Cho must be really falling in love with Cedric if she was up before the house elves to steal his wand. I donít why, but that moment was just really sweet to me, as it seemed to show how much she really did love him, as she was willing to sacrifice so much for him, just so he could have his wand back.
It was funny to see that Cedric was still a little annoyed about having to exercise even though it would improve his health; it was nice to see this little stubborn streak about him, as a lot of people just assume that heíll be up for anything just because heís a Hufflepuff. I liked that part of it, as even though this is a love story, it was nice to have some medical background to it, as otherwise you would almost forget that this is set in a hospital!
It was interesting that Cedric referred to Cho as the pretty witch, and not by her name. It suggests to me that Choís feelings for him are a lot stronger than his are for her, as she seems to be going to certain lengths to improve his health, whereas the way he referred to her, she might just be a distraction for him.
I loved the ending! I didnít realise that they were being so obvious that Miriam would pick up on them, and I guess I can see why they shouldnít get attached, as either way he would leave, whether it was dead or alive, and Cho would still be there. Then Cho admitting it was fun, aw it was really cute and a lovely way to end the chapter!
-Kiana :DAuthor's Response: Hello!
I'm happy to hear that you liked Cho's determination to get up and get Cedric's wand. As you mentioned, Cedric has a stubborn streak, and I think Cho anticipates that she won't get very far with his treatment unless she does something for him in the meantime. Plus, I think part of her realizes how awful it would be to not have your wand.
Speaking of Cedric, yeah, you're definitely right. I think we saw other examples of his stubbornness in the books, like when he tried to get Harry to take the Cup alone since he'd technically saved Cedric and would have won had he gone forward without helping him.
I wouldn't say she's just a distraction, given that he can pick her out from a lot of other pretty nurses at the abbey. His mind is preoccupied with his health and the fate of loved ones, so maybe for him it's more about casual flirting with her at the moment.
Yes, Cho and Cedric have to be careful about getting too attached or being too obvious. They're definitely toeing the ethical line here. Still, I like playing up Cho's risky side. I think it lends her the depth she deserves so much.
Thanks for another fantastic review! The next chapter will be up Saturday--on my birthday :)
-Amanda Report Review
I'm quite scared now, experimental potions, ooh err, will it work? But at least Cedric has his wand back, that's something to make him feel more whole again :D And I also liked the exercise and the poignancy shown when Cedric says "Quidditch, Merlin, do I miss home". It just shows the effect that the war had on people not only physically but emotionally as well.
Great job dear ;)Author's Response: I was happy to have a reason to give the wand back. I felt bad, depriving Cedric of it :D It's great to hear that the characterization worked and that you could really feel Cedric's emotion.
Thanks for another fantastic review!
-Amanda Report Review
I really am starting to like Cho now, especially after this little escapade... Cho is an absolute boss in this, I love her rebellious side ;) And can I just say, OLIVER WOOD! *fangirls* Yay, I love Oliver and your characterisation is awesome and I hope we get to see more of him :D Just another brilliant chapter Amanda Author's Response: She is quite the rebel, isn't she? I had a lot of fun with her character when I was writing this story. And Oliver just seemed perfect as the adventurous young medical student, wanting to do something good for the world, which sometimes takes over his practical streak. Oliver will definitely crop up again later on.
Thanks for this lovely review, Aisha :)
-Amanda Report Review
What have I told you about getting attached? Flirting is not a cure, young lady!
That is the best quote ever.
So much happened in such a short time, hooray! I hope the potion will work properly, and that it won't have any side effects, or that Cho will get into trouble. If she does, at least make her run away with Cedric, just so that my unprobable romance cravings are satisfied, yes?
CHO IS SO SNEAKY. I wonder how long it'll take Miriam to discover Cedric's wand has disappeared from the pantry.
How sad that I have to wait to find out more... Great chapter again, of course!Author's Response: Haha, I love Miriam, too. She provides some much-needed levity to a really bleak situation.
Well, I won't give away the ending, but obviously the potion is going to be an important part of the remaining chapters. Cho is going to have a lot of pressure on her, in terms of her secret communications with Oliver and her growing affection for Cedric. I don't think she got a fair shake in canon, considering how much she was built up as Harry's dream girl, and so I wanted to give her a chance to really be in the spotlight here. Not that Cedric is one to fall into the shadows...
It's so great that you're already excited to read on. Chapter seven will actually be up on my birthday, which is next Saturday :)
Thanks so much for your lovely review!
-Amanda Report Review
You are pulling cannon into this so beautifully, with Katie and Oliver... How interesting that so far we see only Gryffindors working at Saint Mungo's, is that an accident?
Aha. Could that possibly be a love triangle lurking over there? Oliver-Cho-Cedric? I hope not. Cho and Cedric are lovely together so far, better than in the books!
This was an amazing chapter again, I can't wait for the next oneßAuthor's Response: Hey Val :) I'm so glad the canon elements are working well here! I love pulling in familiar faces just to help people along through the plot. It is actually a total coincidence that only Gryffindors have shown up at the hospital. Nice observation! (I do think Oliver would have to be brave to be sneaking his magical cure out to patients before it's been authorized.)
I can see the wheels turning in your head! I'm glad you like Cho and Cedric as a "couple" so far in this story--stay tuned to see what happens next. Chapter six will be up today!
Thanks for your awesome review :)
-Amanda Report Review
Yay Iím finally caught up on this story now :D
I think I was surprised as Cho was about Miriamís announcement. It was odd thinking that she had a chance to escape the war for a day, and go back to normality. I think that was further reinforced by her blushing at Cedric (so cute!), as it showed how she could leave, yet others would remain in the battle forever.
Yay another canon character appearance! You could tell what a Ravenclaw Cho was, by her going to the library when she had free time, it was nice to see how studious she was! I liked the rebellious streak in her, as itís not something we see much in the books, but if fitted in with her character. I mean, she was pretty determined to join the DA, in Cedricís memory, so I guess this is something similar to it.
I was guessing that she was trying to find the cure for Cedric, and Iím glad to see that my assumptions were proved correct! It was just so adorable to see that she would go so far to save someone she didnít know that well. Itís nice to see the blossoming romance in this way, as itís not clichť at all, and thatís such a refreshing change.
Then Oliver pops up! It was strange to see an intelligent side to him, as Iím used to him being a quidditch fanatic, however, this was a refreshing change, and it seemed to fit him well :)
Hahaha I canít believe it didnít click, when she said her parents lived nearby, I just assumed she could apparate or floo to them, so I didnít think nothing by it. I guess I can see how Miriam believed it as well!
Another excellent chapter, and I canít wait to read the next!
-Kiana :DAuthor's Response: Hey!
Yeah, I tried to think of war as a process. You don't spend every day in the heat of battle; there's some down time, however tense it may be. I figured it would be safe enough in a friendly country away from the front lines for the nurses to go into town and have a little time off. Besides, I think it's better for their mental health, and thus better for the patients.
It's great that you liked Cho's rebellious side. Like a true Ravenclaw, I thought she'd do whatever was necessary to get the answers she needed--to an extent, anyway. I like the parallel you drew with her joining DA in canon.
Yep, she wants to do something about the fact that he's taking a whole cocktail of medication and having to put up with some nasty side effects. I guess she thinks this is the way she can contribute, by using her intelligence. I do think she and Oliver make a nice little team :)
Speaking of Oliver, yes, I wanted him to still come across as a little brash, like he was on the Quidditch Pitch in canon. He's definitely a no nonsense kind of guy, which is probably a good balance for Cho, who tends to worry a little bit more.
I kind of thought maybe the flagrant use of magical transport methods would be frowned upon, in terms of fairness and the Statute of Secrecy, so I decided to have Cho try to fit in with the Muggle girls here. Glad it worked well!
Thanks for another fantastic review :)
-Amanda Report Review
Yay, Iíve nearly caught up with this story :D
I really liked the first paragraph of this chapter. There was something about, which just seemed to show the desperate situation war causes, and how simples amenities, which we think nothing off, mean so much to them. I really liked how you captured Choís happiness of getting that package, as you could see how much it would mean to her, and you could sense that she was happy for the patients as well.
This line from Cedric, was just great - ďNo,Ē Cedric wrote, pulling the tray closer to him. ďHave lunch with me.Ē It just made me aw so much, as it was just so spontaneous and unexpected, and that was reflected in Choís reaction to the question. I really liked their conversation that followed, you can see that their building up trust in each other, and growing to like each other. The way you said that Cedric was bored, reflected well with the first chapter, where you talked about how energetic he was.
I really liked that you included Andre and Fjodor for two reasons really. First of all, it made the hospital setting more realistic by having foreign patients there, as it does seem likely that they would share hospitals. Secondly, I think it creates a new dynamic, due to them being Ďexoticí, and it allows the reader to see whether their perspective of the war differs from Cedricís.
I really liked the last line here, as it shows how much war bonds people in ways they could have never have anticipated beforehand. I donít think when Cedric chose to take Muggle Studies, that he would be using it, so he could play cards in a war hospital, but then again it reinforces the unpredictability of the whole situation of it.
Iíll hopefully be able to read and review chapter five, and then Iím all caught up :D It was another excellent chapter though!
-Kiana!Author's Response: Yeah, I bet a package with the stuff they got in it would be a real treasure in this time. It's like when you've gone without groceries for a couple of weeks and come home with enough to fill your cabinets and refrigerator.
I love my Cedric/Cho fluff. I've become much more comfortable with writing fluff in general compared to how I used to be. It's nice to be able to go to the lighter side even with the angsty, dramatic backdrop of the war. You're right that they're enjoying getting to know one another and making the best of their shared confinement, of sorts, in the abbey.
It's great that you liked Cedric's new friends! It was neat to think about ally soldiers from different lands coming together in recovery and swapping stories of back home and out on the front. Andre and Fjodor don't have big roles in this story, but I liked the image of them playing cards with a bored Cedric.
Thanks for another really lovely review :)
-Amanda Report Review
I saw that a new chapter was posted today, so that was motivation for me, to catch up with this story!
I really liked Cedricís perspective at the beginning of this chapter. You depicted his pain really well, and made it so life like, it made me feel really sorry for poor old Cedric. You wouldnít have thought he would make so many observations on the world around him, but he did, and that was a really pleasant surprise.
I saw he noticed a ginger patient though, that couldnít be one of the Weasleys could it?
I liked the interaction between Cho and Cedric, even though it was just her doing her rounds, you seem to show that in a rather humorous way, so Cedricís sort of annoyance about being there, and Cho trying to get on with her work made me laugh. I really liked the ending of their meeting, with Cho blushing, and Cedric thinking it was nice to meet her. I think it was the subtle hints about a possible future relationship for both of them which was really sweet.
I really love how you make your stories so historically accurate, when I was reading this chapter, it really felt as if I was in a hospital during world war one. Even the use of magic didnít seem out of place here, in fact, it felt as if it was meant to be there, and there was hospitals for muggles and wizards.
I really liked this chapter, in fact I think it was my favourite out all of the ones Iíve read so far!
-Kiana!Author's Response: I figure all Cedric has now is time. He doesn't know when he'll get to go home again, and he has some indeterminate time ahead of him for his recovery, and so he chooses to spend it taking everything in and trying to make the best of a difficult situation. When he's not watching Cho, he has plenty of other interesting stuff to look at, as you can see.
Not quite. But they aren't left out, trust me!
I love the awkward fluff between Cedric and Cho. I can only imagine that that's how it must have been in canon, considering that she seems a little nervous there and he isn't always totally cool and confident. The ship intrigues me a lot, and this is just my spin.
Thanks for yet another fantastic review!
-Amanda Report Review
I recently read a book based on WWI, so itís really fun to make comparisons with the muggle and magical versions of it, as this story does seem to show it in another light, and it begins to make you wonder what other historical events may have been like, if magic had been mixed into it.
I rather liked Cho in this chapter, there just seemed to be something about her which drew you in, but I canít really describe what it is. She just seemed so warm and friendly, and I loved that little mention of quidditch, as I was wondering whether she would play it or not, given the gender barriers in the 1910s.
I liked how you didnít make her some rebellious girl, who was keen to make a difference to the war, as Iíve read so many characters like that, it would have been dull to find another one. However, Cho just seemed to have this kindness about her, and just her simple wish of wanting to help others with the war, and to do her little bit.
I thought it was really cool that you made Cho meet Cedric due to him being her patient. Iíve always held a little soft spot for this pairing, I think mainly due to the horrible way it ended, and as they were both so young it just made it even worse.
You spoil us with the hidden meanings again! I love this part of the story, as it just makes it special!
P.S. Iím in the reviewing mood, so you can expect some more this evening :DAuthor's Response: Heyyy Kiana :D
The magical world, despite the fact that it seems very old-fashioned in many ways, struck me as being quite progressive compared to its Muggle counterpart. After all, half the Founders of Hogwarts were women! So it seemed okay to have Cho playing Quidditch just like the boys. It's great to hear that you liked her; I wanted her to seem normal, not like the crazy emotional girl she gets painted as so much in fanfiction. She strikes me as being shy but also very likeable. I can't imagine many other reasons for a mostly inexperienced young girl wanting to join the team of nurses helping soldiers aside from a kind nature and desire to help out--unless you count husband-hunting! Haha.
Hopefully you like the way the pairing turns out in this story. Thanks for your sweet review!
-Amanda Report Review
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