This was nice. I liked it and I love how you used an MCR song! Big fan here! I like how there were flashbacks to show the reader how they got together and how their relationship grew. I only have a few cc's: If I didn't know the song, I wouldn't have known which lines were actually lyrics. I would suggest putting them in italics or bold so they stand out against the rest of the story. I wish there were a few more details of what was going on around them. The spacing could be cut down a bit with more lines in paragraph form.
Overall, I thought it was great and again, huge MCR fan here! Congrats!
~Celtic~Author's Response: Hey!
As you can probably guess this is my first song fic!
Thanks for the advice though! Report Review
Sweet and sad...glad they had a daughter ;)Author's Response: Thanks :) me too :3 Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection