Reading Reviews for The Girl from Slytherin
  
240 Reviews Found

Review #1, by bester_jester The Slytherin Boys

8th April 2014:
Hi lady :)

Reading a lot of your stories since I found the Victoire travelling one.

Loving this one so far. I like that it's set in Hogwarts era but focussing on a different group of characters.

Just one thing - in the Charms scene with the summoning charm; ' “Accio quill!” The fruit flies into my hand and I gracefully wave it into the air.' A quill ain't no fruit ;)

Looking forward to reading more!

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Thank you! I'm excited that you wanted to check out more of my stories! I'll warn you though, this one is a little rough around the edges for the first twelve chapters or so since it was my first one. :P But I'm really glad you're enjoying it so far - I really like writing Hogwarts era and re-imagining the events from the books around Tor and her friends.

You mean you haven't heard of the rare quill fruit?! It grows on trees and is a common delicacy! :P Hehe, never mind, I went and fixed that bit. Thanks for pointing it out!

Thanks so much for the lovely review! :D You are awesome!


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Review #2, by marauderfan The Fall of the Ministry

31st March 2014:
So intense, this chapter! I can't even. Jhdfjhgrsihsdsh

The letter from Terry was cute! Please tell me they see each other again before the Prologue... :-/

The part where Tor was reading the magazine and Pyxis found it... that was just the saddest thing, because clearly it's that which led to Professor Burbage's death, and Pyxis wouldn't have done that if he knew what the consequences would be. He is in such a tough situation, almost worse than Tor, because although he himself is breaking no rules or doing anything to cause suspicion from either side, he knows too much. He's trying to protect people but isn't forward thinking enough to consider the consequences of what he does, and I think that will end badly. I really like Pyxis as a character. Poor kid though, he's so confused. I want to give him a hug.

I love that they have extendable ears from the Weasleys' joke shop. Blood traitors or not, everyone respects a mischief enabler :p

Astoria's birthday is the same day as Voldemort died the first time. That's probably not significant but I just happened to notice haha.

She is really close to cracking. Eek! Hold on just a few more months, Tor!

Not surprised at the selection of Head Boy and Girl.. Pyxis as prefect? Great, because he needs more stressful things on his plate at this point in his life.

I love the way you're slipping these brief references to canon things in here btw - how even though Tor isn't entirely sure what's happening, its clear to the reader what has happened, like Professor Burbage's death, Harry's escape, Mad-eye Moody's death, etc.

Also.. I found a typo, somewhere in there it says "upmost" which should say "utmost". ;)

Anyway, this was a fantastic chapter! Great work as always! ♥

Author's Response: Hi Kristin! :)

Eep, I know! There was so much going on and it's such a dark time. I hope the next few chapters will be equally intense as a lot of trouble is coming Tor's way.

Hmm...can't say much there. :P

I know! :( I found that moment really hard to write, especially since Burbage was a character I really liked in this story. It's so careless of Tor, and foolish of Pyxis, and I think if Tor found out she would feel guilty for a long time. I really like hearing your thoughts on Pyxis - you're right, he's in a really hard spot because he's almost more "in" with the Death Eaters than she is, and he isn't able to protect himself and her in the same way that Tor can through her Legilimency and even some of her relationships. I really like him too, and I'm glad you care about him! :)

Haha! Extendable ears seem like the most useful thing. I wish I had a pair sometimes!

Hmm, you know what, I actually never made that connection! I had originally picked that as her birthday because it was easy to remember and I wanted it to be in that section of the story/year, but I didn't realize it was the day of Voldy's downfall. Interesting...I might have to mention this someday. I'll have a shout-out to you when I do! :D

She is - and things are really not going to get much better, I'm afraid.

Haha, yeah, there are some ulterior motives to the choices of prefects and Heads. Pyxis was never cut out to be a prefect.

I'm really glad you like the mentions of canon! I like tying in how they might effect or come to Tor, even if she is quite sheltered and clueless at the moment.

Excellent - *goes on typo hunt.* :P

Thanks so much for the amazing review, my dear! I really love hearing your thoughts and appreciate the feedback so much! :D



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Review #3, by greenbirds The Fall of the Ministry

30th March 2014:
omfg omfg omfg omfg what do i do? what can i DO, everytime i read this story i fall just a little bit more in love with it all! your scenes grip me until i can't take my eyes off the screen; my heartbeat is DEFinitely not regular. this is unREAL.please update soon, i think i'm going to cry? your obsessive and undying biggest fan, bea xxx

Author's Response: YOU ARE SO SWEET! :) Don't cry, but I'm so very glad you like this, Bea. I can't wait to post the next chapter, hopefully soon! Thank you for the review! ♥

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Review #4, by Unwritten Curse Prologue

6th March 2014:
Hi there! I'm here for Blackout Bingo. I just can't stay away from your stories. :)

By the way, the banner on this story is GORGEOUS.

*ahem* So, I'm really intrigued by this prologue. I like prologues that start at a climactic point and leave me guessing as to what is happening/how things have come to this point. I know from the summary that a Slytherin falls in love with a "Mudblood" so I'm guessing that is what we're seeing here. But how did they get to this point? I wish I knew, because I'm sure I'd be screaming at the screen if I knew all the details.

I really want to get back and read more of this. I need to stop signing up for every challenge and contest and whatnot so that I have time to sit down and read! Your writing is stunning and I really need more of it (and a novel-length sounds lovely).

I JUST REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING. WHY ARE THEY GOING TO DIE?

Okay, I'm done. ;)

xx Gina

Author's Response: Hi Gina! :D Great to see you back!

Ahh, I know right? It fits the story perfectly as well, she really did a wonderful job of it.

Hehe, I'm glad you're intrigued! :) I wrote this so long ago but it's nice to get such positive feedback. It takes the whole length of the novel to get to this point, in fact, and I'm still on the journey to get there, but it's been a lot of fun.

I'm so glad you liked this - I've been writing it for so long that it's so lovely to hear comments on the early chapters and what people think of it. Thanks so much for the awesome review! :D


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Review #5, by Courtney Dark The Worst of Crushes

19th February 2014:
Tag!

This is definitely my favourite chapter yet!

I was struggling not to burst out laughing through most of it, especially the first half, as it was just so funny! Oh God, Goyle fancying someone...I feel deeply sorry for Tor! Amaris made me laugh in this chapter however, tempting Goyle with cinnamon buns - which I am now craving, thank you very much.

Tor's escape through Hogwarts was also enjoyable to read - and I really like your portrayal of Draco, by the way! And I really like the sound of this secret room! It sounds like the type of place I'd like to hang out.

Who exactly is this mysterious boy, I wonder? Is it a canon character? Or an OC? We know he is in Harry's year, because of his comment about the troll...hmmm...

Well, whoever he is, I like him (a lot more than Goyle) and I hope we see more of him soon!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hi Courtney! :)

Ah, I'm glad you liked it! :) This chapter made me laugh a lot as well. I suppose Goyle has feelings too, though poor Tor isn't having any of this. :P Ah I want cinnamon buns too! I feel like the Hogwarts elves would make some really amazing ones. :P

I'm glad you like Draco as well! I find him a little tricky to write, especially from the more sympathetic Slytherin perspective, so it's great to get feedback on him.

He's definitely a canon character. :) I guess you'll just have to keep reading and find out! :D He shows up... well, rather a lot in the future, completely upstaging Goyle - for which everyone except Goyle is grateful! :P

Thanks so much for the lovely review!


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Review #6, by marauderfan The Guests

12th February 2014:
Another awesome chapter! Aw, I really loved the scene when the Nott brothers were able to see their father again. I know I shouldn't love it, because that comes along with the mass breakout from Azkaban, and Death Eaters escaping... but it was a touching scene.I think it was even more poignant because its something so terrible like these people escaping prison, who as Tor mentions, have killed people's daughters and sons... but they are here with their families. There is so much grey area here in terms of morality and good and evil and honestly I love that kind of thing. Same goes for that bit about the Aurors killing Alexandrina Avery... the Aurors who are always the 'good guys', but they're killing inocent kids. Death Eaters kids, but innocent ones. Gah. I'm so conflicted. But honestly thats the mark of really good writing.

i wish I could comment on more but I don't have time and I want to leave this review, so I'll just say - amazing job!

Author's Response: Hi Kristin! :D

Ah, yay I'm so glad you like it! :D I was so excited about this chapter so it's wonderful to get this feedback.

I'm so happy you like the grey areas and being conflicted about whether the characters are good or evil. Honestly I'm conflicted about it right along with Tor. I'm pleased you liked the reunion between the father and his sons, and I thought it was a little sad for me to write as well.

Poor families, I know. :( I guess Tor is realizing that in some ways there are no winners or losers or heroes. I'm really pleased to hear you're conflicted, it really means a lot to hear.

Thank you for the wonderful review, I really appreciate you taking the time out of your busy traveller's life to leave it. :) Thanks for being so lovely! ♥


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Review #7, by marauderfan The Goodbye

3rd February 2014:
Hdgvufkfhgd best review swap ever because I didn't realise until I clicked on your link that there was a new chapter of this!

Such a good chapter. I really liked the way you wrote the goodbye between Tor and Terry. (I was going to say that I liked the goodbye...but I didn't like the fact that there had to be a secret goodbye at all. So sad, it really does feel like the beginning of the end. I was imagining that scene taking place at sunset, since sunsets are beautiful but feel like the end of something (well, because they are) and are a tad bittersweet. Then I looked back and it actually says morning.. whoops. But I like the sunset-feeling you evoked in that scene. Wow, I really hope that makes sense to anyone other than me.

Agh, I feel so bad for Pyxis. He really is a good person though. For him it's not about which is the right side, but he sticks with his friends and doesn't want to see them get hurt no matter which side they are on. I want to give him a hug, poor guy. I'm glad he and Tor are still friends (ack and I was not expecting that he put the snake in her bed!) Aw, Taurus is happy too. That's good.

This was a very lovely chapter. It was a great combination of bittersweet and nostalgic and sad and still a little hopeful, and stuff like that is my favourite to read :D

Yay for the one year anniversary of posting this story! Its crazy to remember back to the beginning just how different Tor was then. And you were an excellent writer at the beginning but I think you've improved a lot since your early chapters. This fic is such a pleasure to read and I have loved the journey every step of the way. Keep up the excellent work - I am excited for the next six chapters but at the same time don't want it to end. Thankfully there will be a sequel am I right? :D

Author's Response: Hola! :)

Yay! I've been updating this so much lately, with both new chapters and changes to the current ones, I'm not surprised you missed it! :P I'm so happy you liked this chapter!

I'm glad you liked the way the goodbye happened. I definitely know what you mean about the beginning of the end, and it does have a sunset-like quality. :P But also a sort of beginning of a new era quality... ah, now I'm making no sense, but I totally know what you mean!

Oh dear, poor Pyxis is being put through the ringer. Exactly, and he's sort of very Slytherin in that way, where he doesn't see beyond his own needs, but he's a bit of a Hufflepuff as well in how loyal he is and how much he cares about the people he loves. Pyxis the Slytherpuff. :P I'm glad you found the snake thing a surprise, I felt he was so unlikely but it made sense he would do something like that! :)

I'm so glad you liked this. It's an odd mixture of filler and extremely necessary.

Yay! :D I've been going over some of the old chapters and doing minor edits, and it is crazy to see how much both Tor and my writing has changed. Hehe, I agree and I'm so glad you think I've improved a lot! :D

Thanks so much for being an amazing supporter of this story, it really means so much to me and getting your feedback is always fantastic. I feel the same way - I can't wait for it to be over and to have completed a novel but at the same time I love this story and don't want it to end. Yes yes yes sequel!!! :D I'm so excited for it, it's going to be really, really different from GfS in terms of what's happening but I'm excited to get going on it. :)

Thank you for being amazing and for leaving me this lovely review!! :D ♥


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Review #8, by LilyLou Prologue

1st February 2014:
Hi, Jenna!

So I have been meaning to start reading this story, so here I am! This review swap was the perfect motivation to start.

This is definitely interesting! I love forbidden loves *sighs*. Or, at least I am pretty sure that this is a forbidden love.

I cannot wait to read on! This prologue was so short, and it leaves me wanting desperately to read on!

Great start to this story!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hi Janelle! :)

Aw yay, I'm glad you got the chance to come check it out! :) I'm glad you liked the prologue, and yes, forbidden love is just the greatest, and this is definitely a story all about it.

Thanks so much for the lovely review! :D


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Review #9, by marauderfan The Dark

21st January 2014:
Just so you know, I am reading this in the airport and reviewing on a tablet so apologies in advance for spelling weirdness and the fact that its a short review. Anyway aaa! The beginning of this chapt3r definitely felt like the calm before the storm. I loved Tor's optimism and happiness but i could tell it was short lived :( and I loved her conversation with Ginny as well! It was so happy that it was just too good to be true. But it was really nice seeing the two girls interact again, I think they could have ben good friends.

and then the second half :( nnot when everything is finally goingso well! It was so sad. I'm glad Draco stood up for her though. It was really obvious he doesn't like the side he's on. I wish i could say more but I''m really having issues typing on this keyboard. Anyway it was a lovely chapter!!

Author's Response: Hello! :) Ah, safe travels! :D

It definitely was the calm before the storm - of course something had to happen to ruin Tor's hopes. Poor girl. :( I'm glad you liked seeing Ginny again, and how well they get along. They actually have quite a lot in common, in some ways, and I really love writing both of them.

Gah! :( I'm glad you liked Draco here- he did try to be a little noble instead of just wimpy all the time. This is when Draco really sees the consequences of his actions so I'm glad he was there for Tor. You're right, Draco is completely regretting his side right now, the poor kid.

Thanks for the lovely review, I really appreciate it! :D You're awesome!


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Review #10, by greenbirds The Dark

21st January 2014:
this was so painful to read.
"dumbledore is dead, and my hopes of escape, a future away form the death eaters, of a chance to forge a new life, are dead with him."
why would you do that?! i'm honestly shaking. tor is so good, and her conversation with ginny just made my heart swell with happiness; i genuinely though it was all going to start looking up! i was envisioning tor living with tonks' mother and becoming a friend of the weasley's and all that jazz; until the last line!
i'm happy we saw a little bit more humanity in pyxis and daphne. i a;ssume we'll see more of pyxis in the upcoming chapter, and he really is one of my favourite characters! theo irritates me more and more with every chapter, and the descriptions of crabbe and goyle sitting there during the night's events "puffing out their chests and surrounded by a circle of older student" made my blood boil. how annoying! it's just kind of like. lol can u not x fanx x
your narrative runs so smooth; your writing just gets better and better to the point where now, i'm speechless- it reads like a genuine, published book. the lack of dialogue in this chapter compared to other chapters really highlighted how dramatic the events were.
another thing i'd like to compliment you on is just how well you write canon! you got draco SPOT on- you go girlfriend. and it aallwwaayyss makes me smile, hearing about "potter" from a slytherin's point of view, because you know, i've always only really thought about the harry potter stories from harry potter's perspective.
my heart bleeds for tor, and if things don't shape up i'll cry. again.
bea xx

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Ah, I'm sorry! :( I'm glad you liked theGinny conversation, and I'm very sorry for building up everyone's hopes like that. I know, things were looking up, but this really does change everything.

I want to include more Daphne in the coming chapters, and Pyxis as well. It's lovely to know you like him, he's one of my favourite characters as well! :D Haha, Crabbe and Goyle are just my favourites in how awful they are. :P

Thank you! :) You're so lovely, it really means a lot to hear those comments about my writing. And it's really amazing to hear you thought Draco was well written - he's tricky! Haha, I imagine Harry would be quite notorious around the school and not necessarily popular among the Slytherins. :P

Thanks so much for the lovely review! :D It really made my day. ♥


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Review #11, by maraudertimes The Slytherin Boys

21st January 2014:
Hello! Review swap! And don't worry, I'm done my studying! (well, as much as I can do at this time with my resources)

So, first, I would like to commend you on your characters. Almost every single one of them is the stereotypical Slytherin, with Death Eater parents, already in line on becoming a Death Eater themselves, supporting You-Know-Who to their full extent, etc. While that might not be original in any way, your writing style and Tor's voice is such that I hate all of them for being on the Dark Lord's side, but I can't help but love them. All of them are just so funny and I can't help but love these horrible, twisted characters.

It takes a lot of skill to mould these seemingly cast-typed Slytherins and turn them into people I honest to goodness want to read about without wanting to rip their heads off every few sentences (okay, there have been a few occurrences when I've rolled my eyes, but never at you or your writing, but purely what the characters are saying and what they believe in). You have somehow managed to create a sort of anti-Trio, and for some strange and bizarre reason, I love it!

I especially like their antics with the muggle herbs. The part where they were insulting Filch? Harsher than the Trio would've done - yet I still love it. Also, when she said that derogatory comment about Professor Flitwick, I wasn't appalled. I've seen some pretty iffy lines in fics, but that one stood out for all the right reasons because I simultaneously wanted to slap Tor for being so rude, but I love her dimension and the fact that you are so good in writing a character that is so bad.

I hope I'm making sense in all this. It's pretty late here and I'm pretty tired, but the gist of this rambling is: I love to hate your characters, and I hate to love them as well. I do both! :)

Ergh! The infamous Theo Nott! I'm excited to see where his plot goes. And ooh! I don't know if this is considered 'right,' but I love Daphne. She's got the Ice Princess thing going on and she's honestly my hero. I wish I could be that awesome! I laughed at the mention of the commencement of puberty affecting the way Tor's friends acted around her sister!

This was a very nice chapter and I really liked it! I'm hoping to be able to read more of this story in the next coming weeks! (If exam preparations ever actually do go well for me...)

Thank you so much for the swap, and again: you've got some great talent at writing these characters. Oh, and did I mention that I love this plot line? Great job!
Lo:)

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Oh dear, I hope they aren't too stereotypical! :P I like to think that they all have their own motivations and values, though at this point especially they really are conforming to the norm and showing off a little to each other. It's great to hear you liked them, they were quite fun to write. :)

Haha, this story is SO cliche. :P My defence is that when I started writing it, the only story I'd read on here was Delicate, so I didn't know it was cliche yet. :P And it's a lot of fun to write and play with them.

I like what you said about being an anti-Trio - they're definitely a lot nastier. Don't worry, I roll my eyes at them all the time. :P

Haha well, teenage boys will be teenage boys! They are quite mean about FIlch, but like you said so were the Trio at times. Tor is such a brat in these early chapters - I have no idea why anybody roots for her, myself included at this point.

I'm glad you love hating them! :D

Daphne is quite awesome, but in a rather intimidating and frightening way. Haha, I imagined there was no way there wouldn't be some crushes on the older siblings of the friends.

I'm glad you liked it enough to want to keep reading! It's great to hear you like the characters so far- thanks for the lovely review! :D


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Review #12, by ReeBee The Beginning

20th January 2014:
Hi! Review swap!! Another great chapter with heaps of introductions, that were handled super well! :D

Characterisation: Before I start, can I just say that I really like the name, 'Tor'. It's really bubbly, which strikes me as sort of ironic as the narration is really kind of cold and mild, in a way. So, maybe try showing a bit more emotion through your writing? But, I understand if u wanted Tor to be kind of cold, because she does seem to be proud of her Death Eater heritage. But, I pointed it out, just in case :) I think you've handled it quite well. The characters seemed to have well defined personalities :) And I assume you'll develop further on them as the story progresses.

Description: Setting description was good :) Incorporated quite well :D Description of the characters' features was present but I would have liked to see a bit more, just a sentence between all of the dialogue? But even without it was fine :)

Plot: An introductory paragraph, a good one at that! Great job! :D The introductions were smooth and everything was really well done :) Nothing to comment on here except that it was done really well!

Great job! Loved this chapter (I've always been a sucker for fillers and introductory chapters!) Thanks for another super awesome review swap! :D

-Curie :)

Author's Response: Hello! :)

I'm glad you like the name Tor! It's actually short for Astoria - people tend to get confused about that because she has two last names. :P Haha, that's a funny way of describing the name, I always thought of it being more stern and cold for some reason. You're right, she is a little cold here, but she does get better and more interesting when the drama and angst starts. :P But thank you for pointing that out. :)

Thanks, I'll think about the setting and description as well! :)

I'm glad you liked it - I'm really blergh about these early chapters, but I like to keep them up as a monument to how much my writing has changed. :P So it's really nice to know you actually liked it! :D Thanks so much for the review!


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Review #13, by Brightpaw The Decision

17th January 2014:
Yay! Another update! Keep them coming pretty please. :D

I was a little unsure about Tor's conversation with Dumbledore... what did she think he could do? I guess she's pretty desperate. I really hope she doesn't try to convince her father to abandon the dark lord... I feel like she should know there's no chance, right? If he tries to leave they'd kill him, I would think.

I do think she's right to believe Pyxis. What does he gain by telling on her? I'm not sure he won't, but what can she do but trust him?
I think it makes sense that he figured it out. She's stopped being very careful... someone had to notice. She seems like she's decided they're going to find out eventually and is trying to minimize the damage, you know? Ok maybe not that extreme, but I would tell her to chill and do some duels or something. :D

Thanks for the great chapter... more Draco soon?

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Tor is getting very desperate! She's not thinking clearly, necessarily, but her heart is in the right place and she does want what's best for her family and herself. She trusts Dumbledore and thinks he could protect her family in the same way he later tells Draco that he could protect his family if he joins the right side, only Tor is the one who seeks out the protection. :) I agree, Yaxley would definitely not go quietly.

Yes, exactly- Pyxis means well, and he's a good friend despite having those Slytherin self-preservation instincts. She doesn't really have a choice here.

She was being very careless! Tor... doesn't always make the best decisions every single time. :P Pyxis was bound to find out, especially since he got a good look at that Boggart on New Years. She's quite lucky he took it this well.

Thank you for the wonderful review! :D I actually just put the next chapter in the queue, and there is a fair amount of Draco in fact! I hope you like it. :)


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Review #14, by ReeBee Prologue

17th January 2014:
Wow! I loved this!!! I mean, there were heaps of 'I'm the daughter of Voldemort/a death eater' stories, but this is amazing! I've actually been meaning to read this for a while now, but I never realised it was your story! Can I just let u how much I love your writing style! Eep! So so well done!! I could feel the emotion in the writing style!! I'm using way too many exclamation marks :/

Anyway, ooh, I wonder who the boy is?? A canon character? And the girl?? Canon?? I'll have to see!! Interesting!! :D and I loved her characterisation! I love that she doesn't seem that bad or one of those crying weak types when faces with a romantic interest. She just seems normal, which I love :D

And my totally favourite part of this story is definitely the characterisations if the death eaters. I mean, sure, they're cruel and mean (light word :/), but they are still human! And who doesn't live little kids? I absolutely loved that part! It made me tear up that such apparently nice people could do such terrible things. And that's really realistic, that things aren't what they seem... So that was awesome!

Great job!! Loved this! Can't wait for more! :D thanks for the awesome review swap! Talking about that I need to respond to all those amazing reviews that left me speechless!! :D

-Curie :D

Author's Response: Hello! :)

I'm glad you liked it! :D I agree, there are a lot of stories following that vein. When I started this I hadn't read any of them yet, so hopefully it manages to be original. :P I'm glad you wanted to read it for a while - yay! It's wonderful as well to hear you liked the writing style and the emotion. :)

You will have to see! :D I'm glad you like her so far- I'm very attached to her by this point, so getting feedback on her is really great. She is quite a normal girl, she just seems to end up in abnormal situations.

I'm glad you liked the Death Eaters as well! A big theme of this story is balancing their evil and human qualities and exploring how they can be so horrible to some people and so kind to others. I imagined it would be confusing for her, as well.

Thank you for the fantastic review! :) I hope you like it if you continue to read on! :D


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Review #15, by marauderfan The Decision

14th January 2014:
Another wonderful chapter!

I really, really hope Tor gets to meet with Andromeda, Ted, and Tonks! Hm, something tells me that this isn't going to happen. I just get a bad feeling that something will happen before the summer. Eep!

“Well, I wouldn’t call him blond exactly, more sandy -- haha! I loved this, her timing for her humour when she's trying to not have her world crash down around her because she's been found out by one of her best friends. I don't really trust Pyxis, but I don't think he'll tell on her. I think he's too scared, though obviously he'd never say that.

Ok so I know it was at a serious point in the story when the Association of Slytherin Students was mentioned again but I laughed out loud at the acronym (like I do every time - I think I have a low maturity level :P ) I just picture all these solemn, intense Slytherins in an organisation with those initials and hahaha it's just too great :D

Liked the little cameo appearance of Harry and co. and cleverly sneaking Tor into canon! Ooh, and Cadmus Scamander - Rolf Scamander's brother, perhaps? ;)

I really liked Tor's talk with Dumbledore. I think even though she's obviously desperate at this point, it shows a new maturity to her character in that she is really starting to understand everything that's going on and how it affects herself and her friends/family/acquaintances. That was very noble of her, and though I think she'll never manage to convince her father, she might possibly be able to with some of her friends, and possibly Daphne, if she's lucky. It's hard to tell with Daphne :p I liked the last line of the chapter too - Dumbledore going on about love again :) A very Dumbledoreish thing to say at that point, and it's quite obvious that's what is going on, sometimes you'll do desperate things for love.

I didn't think this chapter was rambly at all! Or if it was, I like rambly chapters so it's all good :P Great job, once again!

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Yay, I'm glad you liked it! :D It's so great to be updating this story more consistently again.

I hope so too! I love Andromeda, and she would be a really great influence for Tor. Hmm, something bad, whyever would you think that?? :P

Haha, typical Tor diverting the tough questioning. Interesting thoughts about Pyxis- he is a good friend, but he's not as strong and brave as Tor can be.

Haha don't worry, I laughed too! I almost wished I could have kept the Association around for a little longer but the plot sort of outgrew it. It is funny to think of how seriously they take themselves and then... yeah.

Yes! I'm super sneaky. :P When I was reviewing HBP I just thought that it was only right to have Tor be the girl. I wish I had more time in the story to devote to Cadmus- he's quite funny, and quite probably related to Rolf.

I'm glad you liked the conversation! She is becoming more mature, and starting to see the bigger picture and that things are changing both internally and externally. It is tricky with Daphne, she's a little unpredictable and quite self-centered. Haha Dumbledore does love to talk about love. Tor is doing something desperate for love, but also for larger reasons than that. For love of humanity, of her own beliefs as well.

Thanks so much for the awesome review! :D I love reading your thoughts on the story! Thanks for being so supportive and lovely. ♥


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Review #16, by MidnightBlue_x The Future

12th January 2014:
I just love Tor and Terry so much. I can't wait to see how things progress for them. I loved seeing Michael and Anthony too- I really liked seeing how they interacted with Tor. I'm so excited to read on!

x Ely

Author's Response: Hi! :)

Aw, I'm so glad you like them! :D I'm very happy they're back together. It's also great to know that you liked the Ravenclaw boys as well: they're a riot to write and imagine and get along quite well with Tor. :)

Thanks so much for the lovely review! :D I'm so happy you enjoyed the chapter!


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Review #17, by marauderfan The Future

12th January 2014:
Tag!

Tor and Terry are so cute :D I am glad they're able to be honest with each other now, even if it means there are some awkward conversations. Things will get better in time :) I liked Tor's conversation/"working" with the Ravenclaw boys in the library, she fits in quite nicely with them.

I love that you brought up LGBTQ issues in the wizarding world! In some ways, the wizarding world seems more progressive than the Muggles (in terms of gender equality - look at Quidditch for example) but I think in this case, they are behind the Muggle world. The pureblood/mudblood thing is pretty evident of that and I imagine gay couples would be seen the same way (though this is probably more of an issue to purebloods and those concerned with tradition and propriety.) And I love it when social issues come up in fanfic, it just adds such a depth and reality to it all. (And makes me ramble for ages, sorry)

...hm. I wonder what Pyxis is going to do with that information, he saw her! I would assume he won't do anything, since he's one of her friends, he'd just warn her... but I guess there's no way to tell. Uh oh.

OOH THE END IS SO OMINOUS. I mean, I know what's going to happen there with Scrimgeour and Thicknesse because I've read the books, lol, but I really liked that little bit in the POV of a very well respected/feared Death Eater. That part about Amelia Bones was almost touching though - I'd forgotten about her. Perhaps Yaxley's reasons for moving people around in the Ministry are more personal than Voldemort-related reasons :p

Great chapter!! I'm glad to hear the next chapters are finished too, means I have less time to wait till I can read more ;)

Author's Response: Hello!

Ah, they are cute, aren't they? :) Their relationship has reached a more honest level and so it is important for them to be open and understanding. I really love writing the Ravenclaw boys, so I'm pleased you liked that scene!

Yes! I think it would be so interesting to hear from JKR what LGBTQ issues would be like in the HP-verse, but had to go off what we know here. I agree, I think the wizarding world would be a little slow about gay rights and acceptance, also because of the pureblood thing like you said. I loved writing this bit and expressing my thoughts a little through the characters. :)

Hehe, guess you'll have to wait to find out what Pyxis might do or not do! (not very long though!)

I love ominous! I quite liked writing it and from now on is when Yaxley enters the HP-verse and becomes a prominent death eater and character. I picked him to be Tor's father because of the parts which are coming up in this story, really. I'm glad you liked it, and the part about Amelia! We haven't heard from Yaxley in a while so I wanted to remind the readers about him a little and his own secrets and motivations.

Thanks for the lovely review! :D


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Review #18, by shez The Beginning

10th January 2014:
So I can't tell you how excited I am about this story. You said you felt it was a bit filler, but I think it's a good idea you're introducing the main players. I love Tor already; she seems like an intelligent, realistic MC and I love her relationship with the boys. I like how you've humanized all our pseudo-villianous future death-eater Slytherin characters. Holy crap the flashback with her and her sister and father was spine-tingling, but I see the elements of doubt vs. expectation being planted. It's the very subtle incorporation of things that separate good stories from really great ones and you've got a keen eye for detail so I'm excited. I also like the run-in with Malfoy (stomping on Potter's face eh?) and your very last lines about the blood tracing from his robes to hers is subtle and profound and implies so many different things. Eek! I love it!


On a side note: I love the actress you've chosen to portray Tori. She's not overtly cutsey looking--she's a got tough-girl Slytherin edginess and I love that.

(Question: Is she Astoria aka girl Draco eventually marries in epologue? Because you said Yaxley but I think she was Greengrass, so I'm a little confused. Sorry if it's a stupid confused.)

Author's Response: Hello again!

Yay! I'm glad you liked it, and are still interested in reading on. I love Tor too- she's a lot of fun to write and I love hearing readers' opinions on her. Haha yes! The Slytherins aren't just good or evil, they have a lot of motivations and dimensions to them though they certainly have their wicked moments.

I'm glad you liked the flashback! Writing about Tor's father and her past are some of the most important and entertaining (well, for me :P) parts of the story. I'm so pleased you liked the hinting of how she will change throughout the story.

Haha yes, Malfoy pops in and out! I'm really happy you pointed out the line about the blood on his robes as it was my favourite part of this chapter and really sets the tone for their future interactions in a way. :)

I'm so glad you approve of her! I thought she felt right, she's pretty, but in an interesting way, and she does have that edge as you say. Plus, the TV show she's in is quite dramatic so there are plenty of angsty pictures of her! :P

Yes! You are right on both counts, it's a little confusing. Tor goes by her mother's last name at school but her father is Yaxley. It is explained a little in chapter 5 I believe :) Don't worry, it confuses everyone and sometimes me too!

Thanks for the lovely review! :D


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Review #19, by shez Prologue

9th January 2014:
Ok. This is so good. I don't even know what to say and that doesn't happen often. It's not often that I find a story that just clicks from the very beginning and you have me hooked. I already know I'm going to fall in love with this story. This is so evilly short and your writing is astounding and cunning and deliciously dark. I have no idea what's going on and who the MC is but she's the daughter of a Death Eater so that's going to be exciting and I love the banner so much and I can't wait to find out what happens. I'm so glad you have tons of chapters out because the waiting would kill me.

Thank you for filling that "addicting story" void in my life.

Basically, I'm adding this to my favorites. And I'll probably be stopping by again.

Author's Response: Hello!

Ah, thank you! :) I hope you continue to like it! I wrote these early chapters so long ago and they're a little rusty, but it's wonderful to get such lovely praise. Cunning and deliciously dark?! That means a lot, especially something from you! :D

Yes, there are a lot of mysteries, and I'm in love with the banner myself! This story is a bit of a beast and growing very quickly- I just put a new chapter into the queue, hehe.

I'm very honoured to fill that void! Thanks for the amazing review! ♥


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Review #20, by Courtney Dark The Death Eater's Daughter

7th January 2014:
Tag!

Ooh, I really enjoyed this chapter! It was really great learning more about Tor's family and their background. I particularly liked the bit about her father's story, and how he became a Death Eater. You have done this amazing thing by still making me loath the Death Eaters and, by association, Tor's father, but also somehow making them seem like human beings who have emotions and families and plans and motivations for what they do. So it is safe to say I am now very conflicted.

I also loved how you described the competition between Daphne and Tor, because it seemed like such classic sibling rivalry - the older sibling being jealous when the younger sibling gets more attention and feels more loved.

This was a really great chapter! Hopefully I will be back here soon!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hi again! :)

I'm so happy you liked this chapter as it's my favourite of the earlier chapters. :) I'm glad you liked the bits about her father as he is very influential and his story keeps unraveling throughout the novel. It's really good to hear you have these conflicting feelings towards the Death Eaters of both liking and hating them, as that's just how I wanted them to come across. They have redeeming qualities, especially from Tor's point of view, but also a sort of danger and horror. I feel like Voldy (and possibly Bellatrix) were the only ones who were completely motivated by power and cruelty, while others like Yaxley have other reasons beyond pure hate.

Haha yes! The sisters do have a bit of a tense relationship, and I think both of them think the other is better off. :P

Thanks so much for reviewing, I'm glad you're liking the story so far! :)


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Review #21, by MissesWeasley123 The Unknown

7th January 2014:
Jennaaa. Here for the 12 Days of Reviewing and what a great chapter to come back to!

Terry man, he's so amazing. I will say it over and over and keep on asking you -- where do I get myself one? He's so amazing. But he''s wise in a way too, beyond all the immaturity and awesomeness, which is nice.

Tor is fabulous as always. One of my favourite parts is her encounter with Snape, and I loved how she would reply to him, it was very fitting and you characterization of Snape is brilliant as well. He's such a complex character, it's so difficult to write him because you have very limited boundaries. But every word he said made sense and sounded like him, from his demeanor to the bit of dragging and his pauses. Excellent.

And Daphne! Aw, where is she? It was nice to see that she still cares for her sister.

Another thing I'd like to mention is whenever Tor does her leglimency( dunno how to spell, too lazy to check haha),it's always so real and makes sense. You do a great job with that every time. It adds the mysterious tone to this whole story, especially since there's a war raging!

Excellent chapter!

Author's Response: Hola!

Haha aw I'm glad you love him as I do. Terry is a lot of fun to write, I wish he was real just so I could hang out with him all the time. I'm glad you find him both wise and a little immature - he is a sixteen year old boy after all! That's exactly how I see him.

I'm glad you found Snape okay! He's so difficult, I think it would almost be easier to write his nastiness than his nicer persona towards the Slytherins. I'm really pleased you thought his language and actions sounded right!

Yes, the sisters aren't very close but they do occasionally spend time together and be kind to the other. :)

Thank you! Wow, I'm really happy to hear that her legilimency (agreed, I wish that was on spell-check) seems realistic. I have been a bit worried it makes the story too cliche but her skills are quite important to the plot at times, so I'm pleased you liked it!

Thanks for the lovely review, darling! :D


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Review #22, by maraudertimes The Beginning

7th January 2014:
Back again!

So this is really cool! Tor seems a little apprehensive of the Death Eater lifestyle which is cool to see, and all her friends seem to mean a lot to her, although I sense she's not as prejudiced as some. I've never thought of Yaxley having a daughter, and I feel as though this is a really unique plot!

I wonder if this is set in Harry's sixth year? Seeing as Draco has blood on his shoes and robes? I'm also wondering how Draco will it in to this story, so Kudos! I'm intrigued!

I really think this is a really amazing plot and I would never have guessed that it was your first fanfic. It's really well written. Great job!

Author's Response: Hi again! :)

I'm glad you liked this chapter as well! Yes, Tor does have some doubts, and at this point she does well with not questioning things when it's to her disadvantage. She does care about her friends, and prejudice for her is more of an automatic reaction than something she truly believes in. I'm so glad you find it unique, yay! :)

Yes, it is set during DH. Tor is two years younger than Harry and co. Draco pops in and out, and becomes a little more significant as the story goes on.

Thanks so much for all the lovely compliments, and for leaving me two reviews! :) I really appreciate it!


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Review #23, by maraudertimes Prologue

7th January 2014:
Hi!
I'm here for the review swap from a while ago, I just got completely off track and real life kinda sucks sometimes... sorry!

Okay, this was really scary and I'm super intrigued. I thought it was really well executed though and I'm excited to see where it goes! I wonder how 'Tor' and the boy know each other, but I'm scared that it's an intimate or loving way, because no!

Yeah, so because it's a short chapter I'm going to review the next as well!

This is really cool. Just saying. :)

Lo:)

Author's Response: Hello! Don't worry at all, I didn't even realize! :)

I'm glad you liked it! I wrote this so long ago and the whole story sort of builds up to this moment, so it's exciting to know that it draws people in. I'm glad you're asking questions and curious about who these people are.

Thanks so much for reviewing! :D


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Review #24, by greenbirds The Greenhouse

3rd January 2014:
ITS ALMOST 5 IN THE MORNING AND I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS AND I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF NOW ERRRGGH. I am obsessed with a capital O.
Terry Boot is my new love. I'm sorry, I love him? But in the way that I want Tor and him, not me and him you know? And I love his friendship with Anthony and Michael- this has inspired me to write something about that, not quite so sure what exactly. But something.
It's really interesting seeing Tor's life interweave with the plots and twists of the actual story. You write so well and you pull it off magnificently; I'm literally quaking, I'm so excited to find out what happens.
Interesting how Tor has been interacting with Andromeda this whole time, and now she's just- totally unwarily- stumbled upon her daughter. I also really must congratulate you on your ability to carry on the true essence and character of the characters as you shift them from Rowling's books to yours, you know? I'm not making any sense- I need sleep urgently.
I'm so excited for the next chapter. I can't remember the last time I was so excited for something over the internet. You have such a gift for writing.
Does Tor make the right decision? Please a-ssure me it has a happy ending! It kills me to know that Tor doesn't end up marrying Terry, but Draco instead. Urgh, those Slytherins are so vile but they're still human and it's funny because I loved them at first, but now I totally loathe them. Amaris has gone from being fun and cool to annoying and horrible, and I can't even begin to string words (especially in my current state of tiredness) to describe the others. How could they turn on their friend, Taurus, like that! It makes my blood boil. I've never used that term before, but it's true.
If I could map out what happens in upcoming chapters, Tor decides to tear away and live with Andromeda. But that can't happen, can it?
I'm so excited for the next chapter. PLEASE UPDATE SOON, I'm begging. Begging, begging y-o-o-u. I'm humming that song as I type.
Bea xx

Author's Response: Oh my merlin, you read the whole story?!! That's so exciting, and I hope you got some sleep! Your reviews have really made my day and been so lovely to receive, you are actually so awesome.

I love him too in the same way! T&T are the cutest together, I really do love writing them and I'm glad it's coming across so well. Aw you like the bromance?! I love the bromance, and there's a lot of that in the next chapter too. You're inspired to write something?! That's awesome! I'd love to read it if you post on the archives. :)

Ah, I love writing along with canon, it's so much fun and leaves a lot of room for exciting things going on behind the scenes. I'm really glad you like the plot and Tor's story! :)

Yes, Andromeda really is the perfect person for Tor to be confiding in, and I loved the idea that she and Tonks would cross paths unknowingly. Wow, you think I captured the canon characters well?! That is really encouraging and amazing praise, characters like Tonks are so lovely and so I really want to get them right.

You're so nice! ♥ I can't promise any happy endings but the story is far from being over and has a great deal of twisting and confusion along the way. I know, the Slytherins really are awful at this point. :( Some of them might get the chance to redeem themselves - after all, Tor was just like them not so long ago, and some of them are kind of going with the flow - but for now it's acceptable to hate them and I am rather upset with them as well. The Taurus incident is one of the saddest parts of the story, in my opinion, it broke my heart a little to do that to him.

Haha interesting prediction! :)

The queue just reopened today and I have one and a half chapters written, so expect an update soon!! :D Thank you for all the wonderful support, it really is encouraging and having enthusiastic readers helps motivate me to move this story to the top of my writing list! :) I really cannot express my love for these enough! :D ♥


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Review #25, by greenbirds The Prank

2nd January 2014:
I'M IN HYSTERICS OH MY GOD THAT WAS AMAZING!
i usually detest pranks written in fanfiction because they're never written well, you know? but you pulled that one off with such wit and flow, i was literally on the floor at one point.

" "I hope he doesn't write to our parents," Amaris frets, while Pyxis just shrugs. His father is in Azkaban and hardly in a place to administer parental justice. As for my father, he'd probably be impressed with our creativity."

amazing. and we really say the characters shine through, especially amaris and pyxis!
you're insane. i love you. i love this. yay bye.

Author's Response: Haha I'm so happy you liked the prank!! I was worried people would find it more odd than funny but I'm so excited to hear you thought it was well executed. The idea of a zillion Dracos in costume in the common room is just such a strange but excellent image. :P

You're so perceptive! Yes, that does represent both Amaris and Pyxis so strongly. I love this review!! :) Thank you! :D You really can't know how much it means to me that you like the story so much! ♥


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