Three chapters in! Again, I'm seeing the capitalization issue but I like how your paragraphs are getting longer. I also like how you've included more characters.

I'm a sticker for details so I'm always going to request that, lol.

My only other CC would be the ending. Snape is one of my favorite characters so I'm glad you included him in your story. However, the ending felt like a sentence was left off. Maybe ending with something like: "This quiz took very little time out of her non-busy day. Now what was she going to do?"

Good so far. . . keep going!!

~Celtic~

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Interesting. I still see the capitalization issue with this chapter but it maybe the program you are using. More details about what she is experiencing and what she sees around her would extend the chapter and draw the reader in. I would love to know more about your main character.

I like how you added Harry's timeline at the end. It helps the reader know where in the Potter series you intend your story to fall. That's a good touch.

Two chapters in. . . keep going!

~Celtic~

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Salutations! You have a great start to what seems like an interesting story. I like how you've mixed the wizarding world with the world of immortals.

I have spotted a few spelling errors throughout, however. I can't tell if it might have been an error when you transferred your story or not but each sentence should be capitalized. Also, a few more details of what their home might look like and what is going on around your main character would build up your word count for each chapter.

Good start so far! Keep going!

~Celtic~

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