Reading Reviews for Disjunction
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by newgenerationlover Eloquence

7th July 2014:
Ok, so I did not expect that one coming. You seriously have made my emotions go all over the place. ajdfksdjafkdfioaweknfd. I thought that sentence was quite eloquent, don't you agree? So I came to your page because someone on the forums said you are an amazing writing, and let me just tell you, I was not disappointed. You wove a web with each word, string together phrases and sentences beautifully to make a wonderful story. I was not expecting the ending. When he started writing his last letter, I thought it was going to go to Harry, not the man Lupin loved but never did anything about. My only bad thing is that I feel bad for Tonks for how much she puts into the relationship and how much she loves him and how she will never get that in return. :'( Great job!
House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #2, by DracoFerret11 Eloquence

7th July 2014:
Hello there! This is DarkRose the forums. The House Cup 2014 is currently happening and I wanted to leave you some reviews as part of the current task! :D So, let's go over things:

Style: I don't normally start by talking about style, but your writing is so phenomenal that I really need to begin here. The way you form sentences, you word choices, the emotions that leak from everything you write...I just can't begin to describe how much I admire you. I've read "Certain Dark Things" and "Diamonds," and they're both in my favorites, and now this is as well. I just can't gush enough about how fantastic your writing is. I would mention lines that I love, but I'd end up pasting your whole story here.

Plot: This was beautiful from the beginning. The concept of Remus knowing that he would die, even though it isn't explained just HOW he knew, was a great basis for a story. At first, I thought he had grown old and this was set sometime in the future, but then I came to understand that it was actually during "Deathly Hallows," and that just made the impact that much more intense. His letters to Tonks and Teddy and Sirius were so amazing. I honestly ended this story with my mouth gaping open in awe.

Characterization & Emotions: I think you captured a certain sadness about Remus that's always below the surface in the books and brought it to center stage. You did such a good job showing his emotions and his tribulations. I could feel everything he was feeling: the weariness, the sadness, the nostalgia and disappointment and loneliness. Flawless.

Descriptions: Normally, I would tell a writer, "I need to see the story! I need to be able to see it and feel it and smell it and hear it!"...but here, that's completely unnecessary. The emotions speak for themselves and nothing more is important. I was so in love with this that I can't begin to think of anything to critique.

Beautiful. Wonderful. Thank you for this experience. Absolutely amazing job.

--Emily (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #3, by The_Marionettes_Mask Eloquence

20th September 2013:
Simply beautiful :D 10/10

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Review #4, by Stacey Eloquence

24th March 2013:
All the feels. I filled up a lot. I stopped reading fanfics for a few years and this is the first I've read since then. It was lovely. Well done.

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Review #5, by adluvshp Eloquence

5th February 2013:
Oh dear Merlin, this broke my heart so terribly :(

I always loved Remus as a character, and this one-shot did complete justice to him! You wrote him so beautifully, his pain, his self-loathing, his maturity (for lack of a much better word), his acceptance of things - it was all just so perfectly captured. I am always afraid of writing him (I have never so far) because I feel that I can never do justice to the portrayal of the "broken" man he is. But it was so amazing to read this as you totally nailed it. Hats off!

This was a very beautiful piece indeed, and the emotion was very thick and raw in your narrative, and I loved it as it touched me so deeply. The entire concept of him being almost-not-alive, of him accepting his death in the war, of him writing letters to his loved ones, and the way he wrote the letter for Tonks and how he couldn't find the words to say to his son, it was all just so brilliantly expressed, and oh so powerful.

The ending letter to Sirius was the most heartbreaking of all. How he thinks he is not a nice person totally made me feel awful and miserable and I just wanted to shake Remus and hug him and tell him that he is such an awesome person!

I am not even sure if I am making sense since I am rambling a lot, so I'll just wrap up :P Remus is a very complex character to write, and there are so many sides to him, and I liked that you captured that broken side of him to write about. This was an amazing story so keep it up!

Perfect grammar, pace, flow, and of course characterisation, so 10/10!


P.S. I was here for review tag. Also, Happy Valentines day review-a-thon!

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Review #6, by academica Eloquence

5th February 2013:
Whoa. I think you just got a Favorite Author from me. I'm so jealous of your characterization skills!

I love the subtle development we see here with Remus. I feel like I never read a story where he and Tonks are anything resembling happy, or more specifically one where he openly expresses that he has affection for her. I really liked the letter he wrote her because it was nice to see that side. Then, when he had trouble writing a letter to Teddy--that was totally believable, since fatherhood clearly came out of nowhere for him, and I'm so sad that he didn't finish the letter. Again, nice to see Remus's tender, loving side.

And Sirius--yeah. That must have been so difficult for him. I don't really ship them, but I get why people do, and I think the idea of their friendship bleeding into something more is very romantic. At the same time, though, there's an excellent quality to their brotherhood; I think it would be special even if they never crossed the line, mostly because they were left behind after James passed away.

This is really great. The only thing that I noticed were a few typos scattered here and there (e.g., "beings" should be begins) and some awkward phrasing (e.g., this sentence--Teddy Lupin suddenly becomes both parts the most beautiful and the saddest thing he has seen in his life--I think you meant to imply that Teddy is simultaneously wonderful and sad to his father, but I stumbled a little over this sentence initially).

Well, hopefully you have a chance to swap back, but if not, no worries. I'm glad I read this either way :)


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Review #7, by Siriusly89 Eloquence

5th February 2013:
Hi there! I'm here on the review swap :P

I ahev become something of a Remus junkie in the last few weeks, and this piece just smashed my heart! He always seems to be so sad, so, so sad. What can't he be happy? WHY CRUEL WORLD?

I like how he knew exactly what to say to Nymphadora, but was clueless as what to say to poor Teddy. It must have been hard, writing a letter to his son, knowing he was going to die and that he mightent even get to the end of next week, never mind make it to see him walk, or talk, or go to Hogwarts, and I'm tearing up now because that is how much this story is making me think!

The letter to Sirius was the saddest of all! Remus really did believe he was a bad person, and he didn't even do anything! As for leading Sirius and James astray, eh hello? Did he know them at all? And loving someone, shock! horror! He fell in love with Tonks! Big deal! Sometimes his self-loathing can be wearing! I just feel like shouting 'YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON' through a megaphone directly into his ear until he gets the message!

Brilliant story! 10/10, glad I got to read it :D

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Review #8, by patronus_charm Eloquence

4th February 2013:
Hi it's patronus_charm from Team Blue! I was considering entering this challenge, but I didn't cry all the way through writing it, so I was eager to read your entry!

I liked how you picked up on Remus always seemed older than his age, as I always thought he acted like that. Or maybe he just seemed like that, due to the rest of the Marauders having incredibly low maturity levels ;D You can sense his maturity in the way he accepts death, and knows his is imminent, as that requires you to have an acceptance of life, and Remus seems to have reached that.

I liked the brief glimsp of Tonks and Remus's homelife, as it seemed realistic to me, the way Remus remained the silent, serious one, whereas Tonks was the more lively and chatty one. This was a great portrayal of them, and glad that you didn't change their original traits as I do love them :')

I liked how you made Remus's favourite book To Kill A Mockingbird, because that story is based on unfair prejudice someone receives, and that's very similar to Remus's life, as he didn't choose to be a werewolf, like Tom didn't choose to be black, and then they both get puished for it, and die fighting for what they believe. So it was nice to draw comparisons between the two.

I loved Remus's letter to Sirius, as it was just so heartfelt and true in meaning, more so than the others, as I guess they never knew that he loved Sirius so much, so he couldn't reveal his true self to them. I wondered if there was a bit of Sirius/Remus due to the quote at the beginning, and I'm glad that my assumptions were proved correct, as I'm more of a Sirius/Remus shipper, than a Remus/Tonks one.

A great one-shot I thought, and it explored a new perspective I've never really thought about! Good luck in the challenge, Kiana :)

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Review #9, by Lisa Eloquence

31st January 2013:
Hello. That was very good...but very sad. I always enjoy a good Remus/Sirius story, they are my favourite.

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Review #10, by Lisa Eloquence

31st January 2013:
Hello. That was very good...but very sad. I always enjoy a good Remus/Sirius story, they are my favourite.

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