Reading Reviews for Magic in the Walls
  
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Scribblings The Room of Kept Memories

14th April 2014:
Ooh! Well this is getting interesting!

Author's Response: Thanks for leaving a review!

 Report Review

Review #2, by Scribblings Feelings Discovered

14th April 2014:
I like this, the plot is new and original. I do like it but I'd like to hear a bit more about Blake's background. ;)

Author's Response: Hi! I'm glad you like it. When I stop with my laziness I will be updating this to have a lot more detail. Thanks

 Report Review

Review #3, by Scribblings Bubbles, Butterfly's, and Wet T-Shirts

14th April 2014:
I like this so far ;)

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

 Report Review

Review #4, by LilyLou Bubbles, Butterfly's, and Wet T-Shirts

4th July 2013:
LilyLou here with your requested review!

So, I figured I'd just read this first chapter and go through different things about this. You asked about General Quality, so I am going to go through and tell you the pros and cons of this chapter each in turn! Beware of Constructive Criticism. Please, don't take anything I say the wrong way, I'm only trying to help and am in no way saying you're a poor writer in any form.

-Okay, so I've noticed your quotes need a bit of work. The punctuation of it is an easy fix, though! For example, in this, "I would give it more like five" , you should have a comma just after "Five" and before the quotation. I have a pet peeve about stuff like that, so I couldn't help but point it out! It's easily fixed!

-You also asked about chapter length. This is a VERY short chapter. I personally don't like to post anything less than 1300 or so words, unless it's a one-shot. In this case, it's not. A long chapter also holds attention longer, and it gives the reader more of a chance to decide whether or not they want to keep reading or not. By combining chapters or adding details and depth to a chapter is an easy way to make that word count go UP!(:

-Run-ons! You seem to enjoy writing run-on sentences!(: It's an easy fix; go through and pick out your run-ons. Break it up into a few different thoughts covering that one big jumble of words, so it's not a run-on, but multiple complete sentences and thoughts.

-The Characterization. Well, there really wasn't enough of them to tell me much at all in this chapter. Add details about James and Blake. Describe them, add details. You'll notice how some authors will launch into a small story or description of the character in the middle of something before returning back to the original scene. This helps the readers learn more about the character, to make the character more realistic. You want your characters to be realistic.

I hope you didn't take anything the wrong way. Not many people can write, and you writing this is a big jump! You're a very good writer. Keep writing, and I hope this helped in some way or another.

Keep writing!

-Janelle(:

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I completely understand the need for constructive criticism. I did get a beta and some of the items where fixed and I will look into fixing some of the other things. Once again thanks!

 Report Review

Review #5, by TheHeirOfSlytherin The Room of Kept Memories

17th June 2013:
Looking like he is about to cry or melt, or burst into rainbows... - Who doesn't want to burst into rainbows? Oh, that line just made my entire day! Thank you! :D

I have to agree with James - wow. The room sounds amazing. I can't wait to find out what the spells are, too.

A simple yet effective test. Well done, Blake.

I'm both sad and curious as to what happened to Blake's parents. I'm preparing for tears... Will there be tears? ;(

Can't wait for the next chapter!!!

Sam.

Author's Response: There may be tears which I don't want but my writers spirit tells me to do :p I should have the next chapter up sooner and is an important chapter
-puffy


 Report Review

Review #6, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Feelings Discovered

16th June 2013:
Aww, I love that Blake and Dom are good friends, that he has someone to talk to besides James - especially since he can't really talk to James about, you know, liking him. :P

Uh oh, James heard! But he has Dom's advice, she seems like the type of person you should always listen to. And it was good advice, I hope he takes it and does talk to Blake. :)

I really enjoyed this chapter, I look forward to reading the next one!

Sam.

Author's Response: Thanks so much I am really happy for the next chapter :D

 Report Review

Review #7, by TheHeirOfSlytherin HeartBroken

11th May 2013:
Go, James! I'm filled with an odd sense of pride whenever someone talks back to Ginny, it's so very rare. She can be scary. :P

N-no, what accident? What happened to Blake's parents? I feel so sad already, like I can maybe guess why Ginny was there instead of his parents... And then they were so close and were interrupted and James ran away, looking ashamed? Oh, James! Now he's upset. I'm upset, too, Blake. It's okay. *Hugs Blake*

I really liked this chapter and I can't wait for more. I need to know what happened and the accident! And I want some James/Blake... But I'm willing to wait for that one. :)

Sam.

Author's Response: Thanks :) We will find out about the accident soon enough. It takes longer to write sad things :( happier news I have more free time so I will try to get a couple more chapters up in the next week or two :)

 Report Review

Review #8, by Caska Bubbles, Butterfly's, and Wet T-Shirts

1st May 2013:
I really like the detail you put into the spellwork, how there are new spells but they still make sense within the Harry Potter universe.

I also like how you've portrayed Ginny as a protective mom; it seems to fit her perfectly.

All I could possibly ask for would be more detail. I really want to know exactly what's happening; this story's interesting.

Author's Response: Thanks so much :D I finally got the second chapter done now it just to be posted and it has a lot more detail, I wanted to introduce my main characters for now ;p

 Report Review

Review #9, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Bubbles, Butterfly's, and Wet T-Shirts

18th April 2013:
Hey!

So, I enjoyed this first chapter. Blake seems as accident prone as his father (I assume he is Seamus Finnigan's son :P) and just as adorable. I love that he's friends with James, though I wonder why they'd call James' mum and not Blake's mum.

The only thing I wanna to mention is the last big paragraph; all the talking is there and it was kinda confusing I'd suggest breaking it up. :)

Other than that, I really liked this!

I'll look out for more.

Sam.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I pretty much had given up hope on this story until this review :D not to mention it being from one of my favorite authors on this site. Looking back i did notice what you meant, and I found a couple more mistakes I want to fix.

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login